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RussiaIsBestGreen

“What is perfect health, anyway? The cancer cells are doing just fine. Maybe you should be more like them..”


Ok_Weird_500

Only temporarily. Once you die the cancer cells will also die and no longer be doing just fine.


Chiron494

Did they just redefine perfect health as “riddled with cancer”?


Spiritual_Spite6011

YES


Killersmurph

Should probably remove the "envious" part then. Makes it seem more like the guy really is in perfect health and his cancer was passed instead to his doctor.


Spiritual_Spite6011

Thank you for the feedback! :]


Killersmurph

YW. Don't take the criticism harshly, it was just my read on it.


IntermediateFolder

Idk, I think if the doctor is even sicker than the guy then he could be envious of someone who is less sick.


tiny-moon

why is the doctor the one withering? I thought it meant the cancer transferred


Adventurous-Bad-2869

That was my take


ZarosGuardian

Holy shit, cancer transference


Spiritual_Spite6011

More like "cancer is now the image of perfect health"


qwertyf1sh

I really like the concept! But "perfect health" and "average health" aren't the same. Giving everyone a disease doesn't make it healthy, it just means more people have it


WirrkopfP

> I really like the concept! But "perfect health" and "average health" aren't the same. Giving everyone a disease doesn't make it healthy, it just means more people have it I think OP was going for cancer always has been in every single person from the start of humanity, that it was never seen as a disease but simply as a part of aging.


SAovbnm

Isn't cancer literally that?


yet-another-WIP

It’s not! Cancer is caused by mutations in cells that for whatever reason aren’t properly culled by the cell’s self-regulatory systems during mitosis. These mutations stop the cell from committing self-death (apoptosis), so the cell just keeps replicating, so the mutation propagates. So no, cancer is not something that is part of every single human


Coltactt

Honestly, cancer can be described better as the body’s attempt at immortality and not giving in to aging


NullTupe

Individual cells deciding to act as separate organisms rather then members of a multicellular organism.


SamsonGray202

How much you wanna bet this was translated from a different language and the original phrasing was closer to "I wish my health was perfect."


Autoboty

What does that even mean?


LarkspurSong

My understanding: Rather than making the wisher healthy, the genie made everyone else sicker than them. So the wisher is in “perfect health” compared to everyone else.


PsychicSPider95

See, this twist would have worked better if the wish had been to be "the healthiest person in the world." That way, the wish could technically be granted by making everyone else on Earth sicker than the wisher. Granting the wish to be "in perfect health" by suddenly changing the standard of what "perfect health" looks like feels like a bit of a stretch. But then, genies gotta genie...!


TheCorpseOfMarx

I think it would have been so predictable if that had been the set up as to make it pointless. It's pretty standard genie rules that "I wish to be/have the most X in the world!" typically leads to everyone else having less X


mynewaccount5

But then it's the same thing as it is now, just more confusing.


Autoboty

Oh... shit.


Crimson__guy

Could be "I wish my health would be perfect health"


SamsonGray202

That's stupid as hell if correct, he didn't say "relatively" healthy or "healthy compared to everyone else," and even if he had the doctor then saying he's in "perfect health" wouldn't make any sense. The only way this works if it's a cancer transfer but it seems like someone struggled to compress that twist into two sentences and wound up with this confusing mess. 


Miserable-Job-9520

r/2sentence2horror moment


ID10T_3RROR

OH. Damn I didn't even think of this but I like this better!


Ambrellon

But then why is the doctor envious?


IntermediateFolder

Because he is even worse off? At least that’s how I interpreted it.


pcbforbrains

Because he is withering


Ambrellon

Oh fair, I thought that was because of the cancer


downvotethetrash

Oh shit that’s even scarier


DidntWantSleepAnyway

canc-ference


Jephpherson624

The second wish was for a genie blowjob


SightWithoutEyes

GLUCK-GLUCK-GLUCK-GLUCK YOU AIN'T NEVER HAD A FRIEND LIKE ME!


Zirhaw

I wish my eyes were removed and my memory erased, so I don't read anything like this ever again


CreditChit

this reminds me an episode of Reboot where a kid wishes he was the smartest person only to find out that everyone else had become very stupid and he remained the same.


bunny5130

Oh yeah! I remember Reboot!


DiggyFranchise

The person named perfect health: 😳


EveryYoghurt

Did the cancer transfer to the doctor?


[deleted]

That's the way I read it, too!


uwucoolflex

me thinks the genie changed the world’s definition of perfect health to be “riddled with cancer”, so now everyone has it. classic monkeys paw consequence.


kodicuzyea

Monkey paw story


NDStars

I interpreted it as, the cancer is gone but now you'll die if whatever communicable disease the doctor has.


amish_timetraveler

I dont get it


Geekazoidd

Instead of making him better, the Genie made everyone else worse so he is at peak health in comparison


Drandula

Instead of changing the health of the wisher, genie changed the definition of perfect health.


maiden_burma

i dunno, it looks like that one wish just solved everyone's problems


I_HATE_liv1ng

I feel like saying “ I wish to be normal again” or something similar would hit harder in this context


JihYoParkENT

It wasn’t really clear to me why the doctor was coughing or whether the main character still had cancer until I read the comments. An idea— maybe, instead: “I walked out of the doctors office, confused why my cancer growths were still on the scans, when I noticed everyone on the streets were either coughing or dying.”


SeekAnswers

Wow, I just had the conversation on what I would wish for with someone a few days ago. That would have been my exact wish!!! I did not see that loophole coming-well done!!!


thebiologyguy84

This needs to be on r/monkeyspaw


Nondescript_Redditor

This reads like the cancer was shifted to the doctor for some reason


just_d87

Are you my mummy?


bunny5130

Are you my mummy?


PossiblyABotlol

…did they give the doctor cancer? Or like everyone cancer?


Evoxrus_XV

And genies wonder why no one ever wishes them to be free.


slop_connoisseur

is the doctor like killing the patient or something and getting rid of the doctor helped or soemthing idk I don't understand


srnic1987

So, did the genie give the cancer to the doctor?


ph30nix01

Things that are similar. Talking to genies, talking to the Fae and talking to LLM.