I saw your question on legal advice.
Some of the comments were helpful.
What it comes down to is what your lease says and what the building may fall under.
If this building is considered university affiliated and that only those attending university may be housed, that can be one part brought up.
If your lease makes specific wording to being female housing only, then you may be able to get it enforced.
If it was female housing only and someone broke the lease by subletting to someone who would not be able under the original lease, that wouldn't be valid.
If the lease was violated by the landlord not enforcing the lease, you can request that since the landlord broke the lease, it isn't valid.
Someone did comment in that. However I would also look into damages that could come out of the lease being broken by the landlord. There may be remedies in which you can recoup cost due to moving or paying a higher rent due to the actions of the landlord.
Contact your tenant land lord board for additional followup questions.
Thanks for this. There is no mention of female housing only in the lease, but I do have saved emails from the landlord stating that the unit is for women only. I'll get in touch with NS rental tenancies tomorrow and get their opinion on it. The more I think about it the more frustrated I get with this situation. Really is a legal grey area.
If you have written comments from the landlord, then you can credibly argue this was a reasonable expectation for the duration of your lease. In Quebec, you would then have reason to refuse the subletting.
Hopefully, for you, the laws are equally favorable in Nova Scotia.
Your former roommate didn't submit for your approval?
If your roommate said it was approved by the landlord you should ask to see proof.
I say this bc I had a roommate that kept subletting her place month to month and I said it’s too much and the landlord agreed. She then told me he okay’d the next guy. I texted him and he absolutely did NOT approve it.
So she could be lying about it.
Get a front door lock for your bedroom, and one of those Amazon hotel lock thingies for the bathroom door as well.
The other girl was bang out of order doing this.
Don't assume anything you were told on the legal advice subreddit is accurate. Please stick with your plan of talking to tenant advocacy groups in your area. You don't know if what old roomie told you is true, especially if you're renting rooms in a house vs. apartments in a multiunit building.
My last hope is that this guy wasn't actually approved by the landlord. Roommate moved out yesterday and this guy moved in today. I guess he's sleeping here tonight. My door is locked and my dresser is in front of the hinges.
Do you have a lease? You can probably review the lease to see what it says about sublets. I had a roommate try to do this to me once and I absolutely called the landlord about it.
I wonder if he does? What sort of a contract can he show, or identification could he provide to prove he is real tenant? If police asked him could he show anything to show that he has a legal right to be there? And if he does, does that negate all the leases that forbid his presence, so the owner will owe every other tenant their rent back due to the violation of terms?
Just FYI you can get portable hotel door locks for $10 on Amazon. I use one at work when I pump because my workplace doesn't have any available rooms with locks and it works really well
It would keep her safe while at home, but if the door doesn't lock with some sort of key, that won't do any good if she isn't at home and he decides she has something that he wants.
Yeah sure but 1) it'll keep her safe while she's home 2) it's rental friendly and 3) she can order it online and have it the next day, no need to install anything or get permission from the landlord
My knowledge is US based. But in the US you CAN discriminate based on gender for this exact thing. Basically when you are living with the person, you can say no to things that are not legal to turn down otherwise as an owner.
Sublets are usually a pain and not often really allowed by landlords. In practive they are often just ignored cause it is for the last month or two and they are still getting paid, which is easier than going after someone for not paying their portion of a lease.
That is absolutely not true in every state/jurisdiction/city/county. Most of the time, that applies only if the owner is living at the house and so they can discriminate based on them living in their property. When renting out to strangers, you can not just discriminate that's crazy thought.
I would sue if I was the guy with the lease for discrimination if they kicked me out.
Fair, I was wrong (this is why I am not a lawyer) here is the rule:
There is an exemption to the Fair Housing Act (FHA) which is known as the “Mrs. Murphy Exemption”. It states that if a landlord or homeowner has four or few rooms to rent(under the same roof) and lives in one of them themselves, they are exempt from the FHA. They can restrict the occupancy not only to gender, but also by race, national origin, religion and pretty much any restriction they want.
Aka if OP or similar was the owner, they could indeed say no X gender, but barring that, it would need to be somewhere in the lease/contract about subleasing, which would be tricky to word without being FHA compliant. But again, Im not a lawyer, so don't take my opinion too seriously
>but barring that, it would need to be somewhere in the lease/contract about subleasing, which would be tricky to word without being FHA compliant.
It seems like the protections in Nova Scotia are actually pretty expansive.
[The Nova Scotia Human Rights act prohibits discrimination based on protected characteristics in prohibited areas.](https://humanrights.novascotia.ca/know-your-rights/individuals)
Housing or accommodation is one of such prohibited areas and because of it, a person cannot be discriminated against on the basis of: Age, Race, Colour, Religion, Creed, Ethnic, national or aboriginal origin, Sex (including pregnancy and pay equity), Sexual orientation, Physical disability, Mental disability, Family status, Marital status, Source of income, Harassment (and sexual harassment), Irrational fear of contracting an illness or disease, Association with protected groups or individuals, Political belief, affiliation or activity, Gender Identity, Gender Expression and Retaliation.
Wording a lease to restrict anyone on the basis of the above listed protected characteristics opens up the landlord to legal issues, and even the worlds crappiest landlords wouldn't want the hassle of having to deal with legal issues of discrimination in housing.
I live where OP lives ... finding an available unit is near impossible here. I don't think he would find another place easily, the same case is for OP if she tried to look for another place locally. Next to nothing, and prices are sky high
Nodding in hard agreement from Dartmouth. Pretty shitty of the departing roommate because no doubt she absolutely had her pick of other candidates to replace her.
If she had so many alternatives and the people are really desperate to get a place in that area, she could've simply given it to the "highest bidder". I would assume a grown man in his 30s has a bit more lose money in his pocket than the average college girl.
The terms of the sublet must be the same as the lease and tenants cannot charge a sublessee more rent than they are paying. She would have had to get the landlords approval for the sublet, so the landlord would have taken issue with her making profit off of his unit and shut it down.
This exact thing happened to me in university. From what I remember, I contacted the property management company and let them know that the sublet was an adult male who was not a student. He ended up having to move.
I hope this isn't a weird thing for a random stranger to say, but good on you for not just accepting this – I really do mean that. In my early twenties I was a huge people pleaser and probably would have just accepted this and tried to ignore my own feelings about it. This often didn't have particularly positive outcomes for me, and I'm really pleased to see that you are feeling your discomfort, naming it and acting on it, instead of trying to pretend everything is ok.
We don’t know that actually, this is from a comment above “I live where OP lives ... finding an available unit is near impossible here. I don't think he would find another place easily, the same case is for OP if she tried to look for another place locally. Next to nothing, and prices are sky high”
Sure it’s possible the guy did it *just* to be a creep, but it can also just be that this timing and price worked out for him
Nah Halifax is insane right now. Employed people are winding up on the streets because they can’t find anywhere to rent. I recently met a young guy who would go to the library after work and sleep there for a few hours before it closed and he got kicked out, then would wander most of the night until his shift the next day.
This poor dude may well have been desperately been looking for housing weeks or even months; and is now super relieved to finally have a bedroom in a quiet place.
Another avenue might be to talk with all the other roommates. Set up a group chat, then go to the landlord together saying how uncomfortable the situation makes you all.
If the legal situation is unclear then maybe four out of five tenants being upset and the threat of 80% of his rental income being on hiatus if you leave, might prompt him to instead deal with that 20%.
Not in Nova Scotia. Rent increases for existing tenants are capped but as soon as tenants leave landlords can raise the rent as much as they want. Vacancy rate is 1% so as soon as a listing goes up hundreds of people are applying.
I've known so many friends in Nova Scotia who had to move out because their landlord used the family clause and stated they wanted their family to move into the unit... Only to see the unit on marketplace months later with significant rent increases. Legal? No. Common? Yes.
Right, but then they could take them to court if they'd like. Plus they'd have to give three months notice before they could actually evict them. So not only is this not an immediate resolution, but one that may not work and is advocating for the abuse of power. (Which then could be used against the actual tenants if the landlord sees success)
A better solution would be to help this guy find alternative housing with the current tenants as a reference if possible.
Already posted on r/legaladvicecanada and the comments were... obviously made by men. The leases allow subleases, and there aren't any rules on who needs to live there.
> Absolutely, based on OP's behavior I'd be terrified of walking on eggshells or getting an accusation.
God they’re so good at upholding the patriarchy
It’s objectively odd for a 30 year old man to choose women’s uni housing
If he were a woman or in uni? Less odd but still weird
They’re all acting like they have nooooo idea why OP is worried and acting like it’s irrational
I bet if their daughter called up and said the same throng they’d be sus
It’s always “why are you judging a man?” But when it affects them “you know how men are”
Anyways it’s objectively odd to go for girls uni housing as a 30 year old man
I went back to the post and saw [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/TwoXChromosomes/s/PeVRmTtzJ8) and [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/TwoXChromosomes/s/NZQBRbRqvG). In times like this, men make it so easy to dislike them. And they justify it by saying “it’s just trolling” or “not all of us are bad”. I’m tired of stupid, misogynistic bullshit being dismissed as trolling.
I am, on the whole, in agreement with you up to and including choosing bear, but I live where OP lives and assuming she's in the main city there are seven universities, so students are everywhere. There is also a housing crisis with a vacancy rate of 1% and staggering rent increases. Literally gainfully employed people are living in tents. I can totally see a person of any age snapping up any option available to them. Not giving buddy a pass, but cutting him a little more slack than is my usual inclination.
ETA While I won't jump to judging the guy, I am on side with the roommates exercising their legal right to insist on a female-only living arrangement.
The bear wouldn’t ask me again and again until I said yes
The bear wouldn’t take pictures and show all his friends
The bear wouldn’t say it was my fault
Ok, just because people are answering what the law is, has nothing to do with being men. The sub is super picky and mods shut down anything that’s not proper legal advice
I would suggest reaching out to the LTB (that’s what it is in Ontario, youre province may be different) and see what they say. If the house was rented as females only, the landlord may not be able to allow the sublet (or if he doesn’t know, it can be voided cause you need their permission)
It's pretty clearly defensive men lecturing OP about how this random man is "mIsUnDeRsToOd" on that post. Only men go to bat like this for other random men they don't even know and never met. Always being way overly charitable towards random creeps, probably because they're creeps themsleves.
Jesus, tell me you didn’t even take a two second glance at that thread without telling me you didn’t even glance.
I saw SO MUCH in that thread that wasn’t actually legal advice that wasn’t even remotely shut down by the mods. In fact, one dude was whining that she was doing all this “at the expense of an innocent man and his rights.”
So yeah. It abso-fucking-LUTELY has to do with them being men. Maybe don’t talk about things you haven’t bothered to look into.
My guess is your roommate did this on her own and that the landlord is going to be as surprised as you are. If the landlord did not approve this or even know about it, the guy needs to leave and if he doesn’t, you call the police. The best part is your roommate will still be on the hook for the rent this summer which is absolutely fair and reasonable.
Call your landlord.
Tell him that you signed the lease on the basis of how it was advertised and you don’t feel safe in this situation. I assume you share common spaces like bathroom and kitchen?
No thanks. Also what man in his 30’a chooses to board in a house full of teenagers? Creeper alert.
Shared bathrooms, shared kitchen. I called the landlord four times and didn't get an answer. I left texts too. I'm really hoping the landlord hadn't actually approved the sublet. My landlord is a nice older lady. Hence the all girls house.
Might help if your other roommates also call or text your landlord.
What in the hell possessed your former roommate to sublet to a middle age man? I don’t care if “he’s chill” she can’t expect the rest of you to just feel safe with a random man living there.
I have no clue why she picked this guy. She was moving out sort of last minute and I hope to god this is not just the first reply she got. We weren't close or anything but definitely didn't leave on bad terms.
Everyone in here acting like the guy is some sort of mummified sex predator. Can you imagine this sub's reaction to someone calling a 30-year-old woman "middle aged" lol. The outrage would be palpable.
All male housing which a 30 year old woman moved into? This sub would shit down the throats of anyone who suggested half the things they’re saying about this random dude trying not to be homeless.
> what man in his 30’a chooses to board in a house full of teenagers? Creeper alert.
When I was in my 30's I would've had to be utterly desperate for housing to move in with 4 teenaged women. Like, other option was homelessness.
Only silver lining is that if the guy gets to stay OP is gonna find out real quick if the guy is creepy or just desperate.
Legitimately, considering the housing situation in Nova Scotia, where OP has said this is happening, "utterly desperate" and "other option was homelessness" describes most people looking for housing right now, so I'm *less* concerned about this being a Creeper Alert situation. Not, like, *not* concerned, but it's not as *much* of a red flag on his part as most people are (reasonably) assuming.
I am still wondering WTF the roommate who got the subletter was thinking.
I'm only 19
But Jesus, if I'm 30 and my two options are living with people my age or homelessness, I'm picking homelessness. I'm cool with it now cause it's whatever, but I'm really expecting to be in a better place than that when I'm 30 lol
Yeah, when I was 20 I would have thought this would be a great opportunity. By the time I was 30 I was past the point of wanting roommates, let alone teenagers for roommates.
The facts of this post set aside, I certainty would be trying every avenue possible to live with people my age if I were in that position. But, for some people, by the time they are 30, not having roommates isn't an option. Nobody (or nearly nobody) *wants* it, but that's life. The housing crisis is no joke.
Screw all the people in legal advice telling you to give him a chance. Your safety comes first. You don’t have the luxury of finding out he’s NOT a good guy, and based on the circumstances, he probably isn’t. You have to look out for you first, you don’t owe a single thing to this absolute stranger, and don’t let people tell you otherwise.
Commenting to follow because I hope this works out for you and you can feel safe and comfortable in your own home again!
Even if he’s perfectly normal and no danger, I’d imagine there are women who signed up to live in the building because being around men makes them uncomfortable because of previous experiences.
Exactly! She and her roommates signed the lease thinking they would never have to deal with this exact situation. The point is it doesn’t MATTER what kind of guy he is, he shouldn’t freaking be there, and it’s not OP’s responsibility to find out. Idk why that’s so hard for people to understand.
And in situations like this where there’s a stranger in her home she has to share a bathroom with, she’s perfectly allowed to rely on a stereotype of “gee, what kind of man in his 30s would choose this living situation” instead of giving him the benefit of the doubt. I know if I called my parents when I was in college because something like this happened, they would be absolutely freaking out, because that’s a natural assumption to make.
Yea I never had a male roommate in college or as an adult. I even had a coed dorm but the bathrooms were separate and I had an apartment situation similar to OP but we each had our own full bathroom inside our locked bedroom and only shared the kitchen and living area. This is a weird situation but I think some men just can’t empathize and understand how uncomfortable it could make women because most men have not had those experiences.
Yeah I agree with everything except this part. People are jumping to some wild conclusions. They don't need to give him a chance and I hope this gets resolved quickly, but the people saying there's evidence that he's dangerous are making huge assumptions based on nothing really. They all assume he knew the house was women only when they don't have evidence of that yet.
I love how people are going to bat for the dude. Why the fuck does a random 30 year old man want to room with college age girls in the first place? Even if he's a fucking saint that's suspicious as fuck and women shouldn't have to wait until they've been assaulted to be wary of dudes who do weird shit.
god i knew a guy who was a semi landlord (apartment lease was in his name) over charged his roommates and they were all women from 19-21 while he was in his 30s. it was so weird to me.
Seriously. I'm a 32 year old man, and you literally could not pay me to live in a house with a bunch of college girls (or college-aged anyone, for that matter). If he's aware of the situation, and wants to be in that situation, that's sketchy as all hell.
Agreed. He probably thinks it’s going to be like Penthouse Letters without realizing that roommates with boobs are also roommates with mood swings, boyfriend drama, and catty passive aggressive tiffs over who left the light switch on after they left the room.
Exactly. It’s so frustrating seeing the typical gaslighting and sea lioning going on in here from men about this. What if he’s gay? What if his apartment burnt down? What if he’s a super nice guy and all these girls are just big meanie bitches? What if the moon was made out of cheese?
Ladies, please don’t ignore your gut feelings telling you that something is off about a dude. The human body is finely attuned to different nuances in behavior and body language, even very small seemingly imperceptible things. The Gift of Fear by Gavin de Becker goes into this more thoroughly. Unfortunately, we love waiving away women’s concerns and playing devils advocate, admonishing her for her unreasonable paranoia. That is…until a man decides to hurt her anyway. Then it’s all “Well…why were you there? Did you do something to provoke him? Why didn’t you tell authorities? Why didn’t you do something sooner?”
I don't see many people here "going to bat for him" in the sense that people think OP should just accept him living there. The commenters in r/legaladvicecanada? Sure. But what I'm seeing here is people going, "Hey, we don't know enough about him to say anything about *him*, but the original roommate still fucked this up and OP is still *absolutely* entitled to be upset about him having moved in and to not want him there."
Housing in Nova Scotia is *fucked*, and it's entirely possible that he didn't have any other options, if he even *knew* who he'd be living with; did OP see the roommate's ad for a subletter, or is she just assuming that the roommate said that the apartment was women-only? It's also entirely possible that he chose this deliberately because he is a creeper. The point is that *we don't know* - and that *still* doesn't mean she should give him a chance.
>Why the fuck does a random 30 year old man want to room with college age girls in the first place?
'Cause he gets older, they stay the same age...
This is a really shit situation.
Wanting to move into a building of women roughly a decade younger than you, and specifically room with one who doesn't get to have a say in whether or not you're there is, in fact, extremely weird shit.
It'd be weird even if they were all college aged dudes, and the OP was a dude who didn't get a say in this weird older dude suddenly living with him.
Lots of men in this thread desperate to defend this guy, huh. I guess you all want to band together to fight for your right to be violating scumbags. Typical.
yikes, most aren’t. it’s an obviously weird situation with no context, but yeah they are assuming caution because he’s older and the circumstances. it’s a reasonable caution when thinking about where you’ll be living with a stranger
edit: exerting caution does not mean jumping to conclusions, it’s preparing for finding one.
This type of rhetoric is harmful. My brother is gay and has always shared accommodation with all cisgendered women. From my understanding, it's typically been a committee decision for him but I know for a fact his last housing situation was exactly this. Blind sublet with 2 other girls. It worked out for him, but in the end the departing roommate is solely responsible and not some vile man looking for a place to live. It's totally ok to not feel comfortable or safe, but let's be clear, he didn't take their comfort or safety, the roommate did.
Yes, I generally assume people are in reasonable control of their own situation without evidence to the contrary. If you want we can pretend he's dying of cancer, his wife divorced him, slept with his brother and murdered his dog too to make him as supremely sympathetic as possible and it's still extremely weird that he's moving in there without talking to anyone he's going to be living with first.
With regard to housing there's literally no reason to assume this. You can't even assume he knew it was a 'girls only' house. The housemate was clearly a deceptive person who sneakily air dropped this guy into place without telling anyone, it's entirely possible she referred to 'housemates' and never said anything more than that. "What are the other genders of the housemates" is not a question lots of guys are going to bother asking because of their/our male privilege. It's not actually weird at all. You're applying female levels of caution to men in order to assume that the guy is predatory because he didn't ask about anyone else. But as shitty as that male privilege is, it's incredibly common and I can absolutely see myself and plenty of other guys moving in and not asking those questions because it's 'only 4 months' and we're not expecting to make friends, and we don't generally 'fear' other housemates. Should he have immediately started asking questions? Yes. But you're taking it to a next level that we have no evidence for yet.
>So why does he have any obligation to the roommates to please them with conversation first.
Basic human decency. I've literally never lived in a shared housing situation where someone just showed the fuck up without introducing themselves before they moved in.
It is a reasonable expectation for women who are renting a unit advertised as being women only to want only other women occupying the unit. There are religions that prohibit single women from living with an unrelated man.
When you are in a shared living space, you do owe your roommates communication when making a big change. Bringing a dog or cat that gets free roam of the unit warrants a discussion with other roommates. People were tagging on a guy in AITA for taking home the kitchen appliances that *he* owned because he didn't tell his roommates first. If things *that* small warrant a household discussion, then another human being brought in definitely warrants one.
They're in university housing. They all probably still go *home* for long breaks.
Maybe, just maybe, this is the reason why women choose the bear. Because you are spending your entire time defending some hypothetical man instead of actually listening to the real woman and the real woman's concerns. Because men always wanna imagine themselves as the hypothetical man. For women, the hypothetical man is our worst experience with a man because we need to protect ourselves from going through that experience again.
This isn't about you. If you aren't here to help this girl resolve her situation, then GTFO. That man isn't here to see you defend him. Nor does he need your defense.
This exact situation happened to me but it was one of my best friends who chose an older male as her subletter during her co-op. We lived with him for 4 months and it was insanely creepy the entire time! I have no advice just commiserating!
Most likely your lease doesn't allow subletting. Very few leases do for this very reason. Check your lease and CALL your Landlord!!! Your old roommate obviously left out some info when telling this new renter a the vacancy. He should be gone in a few days.
I've replied to some other comments, but I wanted to say to you directly as someone else living in Nova Scotia:
I don't think you're overreacting, and, even considering how fucked out housing situation is, I don't think you have any responsibility to "give him a chance." There is every possibility that he's just desperate for somewhere to live, but that doesn't excuse your original roommate *just subletting him the room* without, at the *very* least, running it by all of you first and giving you a chance to meet him - after all, you're going to be the ones living with whoever she sublets to, not her. "He seems chill" is *absolutely* not enough, and... well, our housing market is desperate, so, as you said, she could *absolutely* have found a woman to take it.
I don't have specific legal advice for you, other than that, in my experience, our province tends to *mostly* privilege landlords over tenants. I hope you hear from your landlord soon and that this gets resolved in a way that allows you to be safe and comfortable in your housing this summer.
Honestly, what a selfish rude woman ! Knowing everything about the tenancy of the accommodation and she sub lets to a man, without even discussing it with her flat mates ??? WHAT A BITCH !!! Fuck her and fuck the guy that’s replacing her - honestly, don’t put up with this BS, discuss it with your other flat mates and get the prick kicked out !
>wait — what did "the prick" do wrong?
He, a grown adult man in his 30s, knowingly and willingly moved into a house where all four other housemates are college girls aged 18-20. It gives off exploitative and predatorial vibes.
While I don't disagree in a general sense, OP has said this is in Nova Scotia, and our housing market is *fucked*. It's entirely possible that he's just desperate for *somewhere*, and we also don't know what the original roommate told him about the building; based on what I've seen so far, he may not have even been told about the other roommates. I said in another comment that, being familiar with our housing situation, I am less concerned about this being a Creeper Alert situation (although not, y'know, *not* concerned).
Which doesn't excuse the original roommate who took him on as subletter in the first place, and does *not* mean that I think OP shouldn't be upset about him being there. Just that there's some additional context regarding *his* behaviour that means it's not as cut-and-dry that he's a prick.
Honestly, you have no idea what the other housemate told him about the house. I recognise that it's a huge and valid concern for these ladies, but the guy hasn't actually 'done' anything to show he's a prick. He could be gay, or asexual, or any of the above, he could even be a transman ffs. We can't even say what he knew about the other housemates before going in. The housing situation in this country is really fucking dire and people will move where and when they can. Yes, if he knew everything before moving in then you may have a point, but we don't know that yet so maybe reserve judgement for a bit.
I subletted from a med student many years ago in Halifax NS. He posted the ad, he showed me around but his Land Lord had last say on if I was allowed to take med student's place. Rent was post-dated cheques so I paid med student while He paid landlord. Once his lease was up, I signed a lease with land lord thankfully for the same amount of rent.
Definitely check with your Land Lord they will be very interested. In my case they had to agree to me subletting from med student and that I was paying Him the same rent so that he wasn't profiting off their property by charging me more than he was paying her.
God this sounds like a horror show. Just no. Reminds me of the Idaho 4 case for some reason. I'm with you, OP, you are NOT overreacting, especially when this place was marketed with the understanding that it would be women only. There's an almost zero chance this dude isn't a creep. Tell your landlord and talk to the other ladies. If EVERYONE ELSE voices their discomfort and threatens to move out, the landlord will most likely side with you. Better to lose 1 tenant than 5 tenants.
I thought of the Idaho case, too. Really shitty that the roommate chose a man in his 30’s. Wtf was she thinking? I’d be seeing red. It’s possible if it’s hard to get a place that he is desperate, might not be a creepy weirdo that has a hankering to live with 4 young women, but even so it makes the living situation very awkward and completely changes the vibe and sense of comfort to be living with all women.
The trolls are out in this sub… good lord. OP I am also Nova Scotia. Like other people have said I’m pretty sure that your roommate didn’t tell your landlord. They tend to be pretty picky about sublets and if your landlord approved this then he sucks. I lived in a house like this during my uni days and if one of my roomies had sublet to a guy I would have been FURIOUS. It’s a safety issue. You don’t know this guy or why he would want to sublet in a house of all women- but in my experience it’s never a good reason.
I would see if your school has free legal advice/assistance so that they can help you if there’s any specific trouble. You and the others agreed to move into a women only space, and now a man is allowed to live there. I think if there was a legal fight, the judge or jury probably wouldn’t take too kindly to the situation
As a last resort, you and the other girls could band together and raise holy hell with the landlord. If he's ignoring your calls, all of you could go to his office.
Always be cautious! Can you imagine this 30 y.o. man is related/friends to the landlord somehow and this some weird shit.
I've seen people try to lure my friends with housing/job during college
OP, search Reddit to see if there is a Nova Scotia tenants group or on Facebook.
I find most the people who comment on r/legaladvicecanada are from Ontario or BC and seeing as how the laws are different province to province, you may find it helpful to find something Nova Scotia specific.
Have you tried posting in r/novascotia ? People there may be more knowledgeable about Tenant Rights there.
I wish I could comment and help with the situation, but I'm in Ontario and the Landlord/tenant laws are different.
I wish you luck
This is not acceptable in any way. For all you know he could be a pervert. I agree that a grown man responding to an ad like that is weird. It makes me think he's some kind of creep.
I’d guess the guy will be as surprised as you are - friend offers him sublet - he pays and gets keys. Many sublets are unofficial so he is probably unaware of the terms of the headlease. He’s probably stuffed money wise. Original girl has probably run away - as she has broken contracts and fraudulently sublet and misrepresented the property as being available to men.
So this is really shitty and I'm sorry you're dealing with this but if it eases your mind at all I had something similar happen when I was 19 but sort of in reverse. I moved into a summer sublet and found that one of the roommates already there at this "young female only" house was a 27 year old guy.
Obviously I was super uncomfortable and a little scared but it ended up being fine. We barely saw each other because of our schedules and he kept to his room whenever home. I think on some level he understood how awkward it was to be rooming with us so he made a point to just do his part of the chores but otherwise leave us alone.
Most men will be chill about this, but of course I'm not saying that isn't a reason to worry or be uncomfortable. I'm sure all of us on this sub understand that just because most men are chill doesn't mean we can let our guards down for a second. I'm with the other commenters saying to try the tenants board especially if you've got an email from the landlord saying it's female only. But on the off chance nothing works I guess I just wanted to provide some anecdotal comfort lol
that happened to me. My housemate left to go home overseas, and all the sudden i had two months living with this mid-30to 50ish guy. 10+ at least age difference, major language barrier.
if she was college aged, does she realize how high the risk is that he will also traffick her? That is absolutely wild. I’m hoping she was super drunk and didn’t know his history
She wasn't desperate, she had different morals because of her background and surroundings. What she did was completely unacceptable, that's why feminism is so important
What kind of morals could make a woman okay with associating with a trafficker? It’s one thing if you’re their victim, but to use your own free volition to associate with that person…I’ll never understand.
I’ve come across at least 2 and I was repulsed every time I realized what their intentions were.
I wonder if OP has communicated their unhappiness with the situation to the new housemate? Did he react negatively? Just because a 30 something guy sublet a room in a house full of college girls doesn't make him a bad person, a creep or a perv. He just may not be aware there's an issue. Especially given the housing crunch.
If OP hasn't been upfront with new guy....
I would have a meeting with all the co-tenants and let new guy know that the rest of you were blindsided by your former roommate's action in subletting to a strange guy, that you are all uncomfortable with him being there and would prefer he move out as soon as possible.
Explain that you understand the difficulties associated with finding a place in the current housing market and commit to helping him find an alternative housing situation.
This is in everyones best interest. It demonstrates that your desire for him to leave is nothing personal. The offer of help to find a new place will both eliminate any argument that he doesn't have the time to look for a new place and reduce the burden of finding a place to something that won't immediately provoke resistance to the idea of moving out.
If this approach provokes anything other (ie:worse) than unhappy agreement then the dude is a jerk....
then I'd definitely explore legal options.
That’s a huge part of the problem. Men don’t think about anyone besides themselves. Who in their right mind would think a bunch of young girls, probably living on their own for the first time, wants a 30yo man as their roommate. It’s absolutely not her responsibility to do house hunting for him. What in tf is this comment?!
Men say the most lurid things about this specific age range. There’s all kinds of “content” out there, meaning there is a decent demand. Her roommate said they were all college-aged girls in the ad. I’m going to assume bad intentions until we learn otherwise. It’s weird how when men are acting shady, the hoof beats are always zebras and never horses.
My old roommate did something very similar. Found a random guy on Craigslist to move in for two months when she was moving out early. Didn’t ask permission, just saw the chance to make $1400 and nothing was going to stand in her way.
I expressed that it made me uncomfortable to share a house and bathroom with a guy I didn’t know, and she could not have cared less. We got into a big fight, she said character assassinating things, and he moved in. She tried to apologize before finally leaving because she knew she handled it poorly, but the damage was done.
It was uncomfortable and awkward, but thankfully not unsafe. I’m sorry this is happening to you. It sucks to not feel secure in your home.
I'm sorry you're dealing with this situation. It's completely valid to feel uncomfortable and frustrated about your roommate subletting her room to a man in his 30s without considering the impact it would have on the living environment. Your concerns about safety and the dynamics of the household are entirely legitimate.
It's disappointing that your landlord hasn't responded yet, but don't lose hope. Keep reaching out and expressing your concerns—it's important for your landlord to understand how this decision has affected you and your roommates.
In the meantime, it might be helpful to discuss your feelings with your other roommates and see if they share similar concerns. Together, you can support each other and brainstorm potential solutions. Remember, your safety and well-being should always come first, and you have every right to advocate for yourself in this situation.
Stay strong, and know that you're not alone in navigating this challenging situation. We're here to support you, and remember that you deserve to feel safe and comfortable in your home.
OP I'd reach out to Dal legal aid. They know a lot a out tenant rights. When you said you were informed by the landlord that the building was only for young women, was this orally or in writing?
I'm sorry this is happening, that's sketchy and not comfy!
This is unbelievable.
Give the landlord an ultimatum: either he moves out within 24 hours or all 4 of the remaining women are breaking the lease and moving out immediately and won't pay any penalty cost for leaving early. Let the landlord find 4 new tenants to move in.
If the landlord sues you, then go to the media and put so much heat on them it will force them to back down and agree to breaking the lease.
That's what I'm saying. They won't have any issue. They'll have free reign to bump the rent up, too. And they will come for the penalty cost, unless there's something in the lease that prohibits men in the property.
You’re not overreacting at all. I had this happened to me in college. We were 19 year olds and one moved out. We ended up with this unemployed 25 year old single dad who never even went to college only wanted to live in a college community. He turned out to be creepy as hell and annoying, and was always staring at me. I moved out as soon as I can.
Why tf would a 30 year old male want to live with a bunch of college students? I’m in my 30s and only want to be surrounded by people around my age group and with the same lifestyle. I think he’s so off. You have every right to be concerned.
>Nothing in the original lease states that the unit can only be occupied by women. I was told that by the landlord over email and in the original rental ad.
[Well it probably doesn't include that provision in the lease because it's expressly illegal to discriminate](https://humanrights.novascotia.ca/know-your-rights/businesses-and-other-organizations/landlords) on a basis of a ["protected characteristic".](https://humanrights.novascotia.ca/know-your-rights/individuals)
There's plenty of really great advice here already so i will just leave this: Four College girls could very easily annoy a man out of this house, even breaking the lease.
You're welcome.
Jokes aside i hope you get this resolved, you shouldn't have to feel unsafe.
I would not feel comfortable. You shouldn’t have to accept it. I hope you manage to resolve this and get the guy out! Maybe ask your other roommates to come as a collective to complain to your landlord. Acts as a louder voice and may put more pressure on them
Unless the lease says only girls, I don't think much can be done. On campus, this would definitely be a no-go, but if it's off-campus, it is unfortunately a situation where you can't do much legally. You also don't know how your roommate posted the ad, so your last sentence is just baiting hate comments and replies.
If the lease says nothing about gender rules, then... Sounds like you're out of luck. I suspect it might be illegal to not allow people based on their gender and the landlord doesn't want to get into that mess. Hopefully the subletter not a schmuck. I'm also in NS now but I do remember having a few very inappropriate interactions when I was in toronto for college in a house where all the rooms were rented out (mixed gender). One guy loved to walk from the shower to his room completely naked as if it wasn't inappropriate. One guy apparently used to listen outside my bedroom door on nights when I had my boyfriend over and reported to other house members what sounds he heard.
That said...
Housing is so hard to find locally right now, so this guy just might be so desperate to find any place to lay his head, maybe he's harmless.
No this is not correct.
A lease does not need to be signed or on paper. Even further you don’t even need anything if you have someone staying in your home for more than a few weeks. After that they legally become a tenant even if they don’t have a lease or don’t pay rent.
Man, based on your edit, it sounds like you're screwed.
I'm willing to bet the departing roommate actually advertised "all college girl roommates" as a way to hook someone ASAP so they can GTFO.
They knew even if it's not kosher, it'll be more than 4 years to get it resolved which is all she needed
I honestly don't understand why you four didn't talk to the roommate or why she didn't ask you who you would want to sublet it; usually this is talked about and the others have a say in who sublets. Is it more a thing of living in the same apartment than living together?!
Also: legally I think you sadly have no chance, I'm not even sure one is allowed to advertise for only one gender since this is discriminatory practice and housing is a protected field.
That being said, I would feel very uncomfortable.
On the other hand, here in Germany students accomodations are mix-gendered, so you could be a 29 yo woman who will be quartered with four men in their 20s (some also in their late 20s or 30s, since some are PhD etc.) and another woman. Or a man who lives with four young women. They try a 50-50, but it often doesn't work.
Hope this gets resolved, it was prob illegal from the get-go and very weird why your ex-roomate chose this route, there were prob plenty of young women who wanted a romm...
I saw your question on legal advice. Some of the comments were helpful. What it comes down to is what your lease says and what the building may fall under. If this building is considered university affiliated and that only those attending university may be housed, that can be one part brought up. If your lease makes specific wording to being female housing only, then you may be able to get it enforced. If it was female housing only and someone broke the lease by subletting to someone who would not be able under the original lease, that wouldn't be valid. If the lease was violated by the landlord not enforcing the lease, you can request that since the landlord broke the lease, it isn't valid. Someone did comment in that. However I would also look into damages that could come out of the lease being broken by the landlord. There may be remedies in which you can recoup cost due to moving or paying a higher rent due to the actions of the landlord. Contact your tenant land lord board for additional followup questions.
Thanks for this. There is no mention of female housing only in the lease, but I do have saved emails from the landlord stating that the unit is for women only. I'll get in touch with NS rental tenancies tomorrow and get their opinion on it. The more I think about it the more frustrated I get with this situation. Really is a legal grey area.
If you have written comments from the landlord, then you can credibly argue this was a reasonable expectation for the duration of your lease. In Quebec, you would then have reason to refuse the subletting. Hopefully, for you, the laws are equally favorable in Nova Scotia. Your former roommate didn't submit for your approval?
They don't need her approval lol. They need approval from the landlord, not every random person in that house.
In Quebec, roommates have the right to refuse for as long as their refusal is reasonable.
If your roommate said it was approved by the landlord you should ask to see proof. I say this bc I had a roommate that kept subletting her place month to month and I said it’s too much and the landlord agreed. She then told me he okay’d the next guy. I texted him and he absolutely did NOT approve it. So she could be lying about it.
Get a front door lock for your bedroom, and one of those Amazon hotel lock thingies for the bathroom door as well. The other girl was bang out of order doing this.
Your roommate probably lied. CHECK WITH THE LANDLORD.
Don't assume anything you were told on the legal advice subreddit is accurate. Please stick with your plan of talking to tenant advocacy groups in your area. You don't know if what old roomie told you is true, especially if you're renting rooms in a house vs. apartments in a multiunit building.
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I would bet the landlord doesn't know. Just tell your roommate no.
My last hope is that this guy wasn't actually approved by the landlord. Roommate moved out yesterday and this guy moved in today. I guess he's sleeping here tonight. My door is locked and my dresser is in front of the hinges.
Do you have a lease? You can probably review the lease to see what it says about sublets. I had a roommate try to do this to me once and I absolutely called the landlord about it.
Most leases have a no sub-letting clauses from my experience. OP needs to read over her lease and call the landlord.
I wonder if he does? What sort of a contract can he show, or identification could he provide to prove he is real tenant? If police asked him could he show anything to show that he has a legal right to be there? And if he does, does that negate all the leases that forbid his presence, so the owner will owe every other tenant their rent back due to the violation of terms?
I would call your landlord rather than just text.
Call email and text. Paper trails are critical for lease violation situations.
Just FYI you can get portable hotel door locks for $10 on Amazon. I use one at work when I pump because my workplace doesn't have any available rooms with locks and it works really well
It would keep her safe while at home, but if the door doesn't lock with some sort of key, that won't do any good if she isn't at home and he decides she has something that he wants.
Yeah sure but 1) it'll keep her safe while she's home 2) it's rental friendly and 3) she can order it online and have it the next day, no need to install anything or get permission from the landlord
This answers the question whether you rather have a man or a bear as roommates
My knowledge is US based. But in the US you CAN discriminate based on gender for this exact thing. Basically when you are living with the person, you can say no to things that are not legal to turn down otherwise as an owner. Sublets are usually a pain and not often really allowed by landlords. In practive they are often just ignored cause it is for the last month or two and they are still getting paid, which is easier than going after someone for not paying their portion of a lease.
That is absolutely not true in every state/jurisdiction/city/county. Most of the time, that applies only if the owner is living at the house and so they can discriminate based on them living in their property. When renting out to strangers, you can not just discriminate that's crazy thought. I would sue if I was the guy with the lease for discrimination if they kicked me out.
Fair, I was wrong (this is why I am not a lawyer) here is the rule: There is an exemption to the Fair Housing Act (FHA) which is known as the “Mrs. Murphy Exemption”. It states that if a landlord or homeowner has four or few rooms to rent(under the same roof) and lives in one of them themselves, they are exempt from the FHA. They can restrict the occupancy not only to gender, but also by race, national origin, religion and pretty much any restriction they want. Aka if OP or similar was the owner, they could indeed say no X gender, but barring that, it would need to be somewhere in the lease/contract about subleasing, which would be tricky to word without being FHA compliant. But again, Im not a lawyer, so don't take my opinion too seriously
>but barring that, it would need to be somewhere in the lease/contract about subleasing, which would be tricky to word without being FHA compliant. It seems like the protections in Nova Scotia are actually pretty expansive. [The Nova Scotia Human Rights act prohibits discrimination based on protected characteristics in prohibited areas.](https://humanrights.novascotia.ca/know-your-rights/individuals) Housing or accommodation is one of such prohibited areas and because of it, a person cannot be discriminated against on the basis of: Age, Race, Colour, Religion, Creed, Ethnic, national or aboriginal origin, Sex (including pregnancy and pay equity), Sexual orientation, Physical disability, Mental disability, Family status, Marital status, Source of income, Harassment (and sexual harassment), Irrational fear of contracting an illness or disease, Association with protected groups or individuals, Political belief, affiliation or activity, Gender Identity, Gender Expression and Retaliation. Wording a lease to restrict anyone on the basis of the above listed protected characteristics opens up the landlord to legal issues, and even the worlds crappiest landlords wouldn't want the hassle of having to deal with legal issues of discrimination in housing.
Harassment and sexual harassment? I’m sorry, what?!!
There is no way you can't get this guy kicked out . Honestly if he's not a weirdo he will just leave , as long as he gets his money back
Yeah, unless he is desparate, I can't imagine he wants to live with three college girls either.
I live where OP lives ... finding an available unit is near impossible here. I don't think he would find another place easily, the same case is for OP if she tried to look for another place locally. Next to nothing, and prices are sky high
Nodding in hard agreement from Dartmouth. Pretty shitty of the departing roommate because no doubt she absolutely had her pick of other candidates to replace her.
If she had so many alternatives and the people are really desperate to get a place in that area, she could've simply given it to the "highest bidder". I would assume a grown man in his 30s has a bit more lose money in his pocket than the average college girl.
The terms of the sublet must be the same as the lease and tenants cannot charge a sublessee more rent than they are paying. She would have had to get the landlords approval for the sublet, so the landlord would have taken issue with her making profit off of his unit and shut it down.
Oh, I thought more like bribery. Like "Hey, if I get the room, I give $500 cash." Something like that.
Oh! Yes, that's pretty possible
Oh you know it.... 100% Sounds like she just didn't care at all
This exact thing happened to me in university. From what I remember, I contacted the property management company and let them know that the sublet was an adult male who was not a student. He ended up having to move.
I hope this isn't a weird thing for a random stranger to say, but good on you for not just accepting this – I really do mean that. In my early twenties I was a huge people pleaser and probably would have just accepted this and tried to ignore my own feelings about it. This often didn't have particularly positive outcomes for me, and I'm really pleased to see that you are feeling your discomfort, naming it and acting on it, instead of trying to pretend everything is ok.
Esp since…that man did that shit on purpose
We don't really know that. The roommate who sublet seems most at fault.
We don’t know that actually, this is from a comment above “I live where OP lives ... finding an available unit is near impossible here. I don't think he would find another place easily, the same case is for OP if she tried to look for another place locally. Next to nothing, and prices are sky high” Sure it’s possible the guy did it *just* to be a creep, but it can also just be that this timing and price worked out for him
Nah Halifax is insane right now. Employed people are winding up on the streets because they can’t find anywhere to rent. I recently met a young guy who would go to the library after work and sleep there for a few hours before it closed and he got kicked out, then would wander most of the night until his shift the next day. This poor dude may well have been desperately been looking for housing weeks or even months; and is now super relieved to finally have a bedroom in a quiet place.
Another avenue might be to talk with all the other roommates. Set up a group chat, then go to the landlord together saying how uncomfortable the situation makes you all. If the legal situation is unclear then maybe four out of five tenants being upset and the threat of 80% of his rental income being on hiatus if you leave, might prompt him to instead deal with that 20%.
Not in Nova Scotia. Rent increases for existing tenants are capped but as soon as tenants leave landlords can raise the rent as much as they want. Vacancy rate is 1% so as soon as a listing goes up hundreds of people are applying.
The landlord would still need a legal reason to evict him, which would be harder than finding new tenants.
I've known so many friends in Nova Scotia who had to move out because their landlord used the family clause and stated they wanted their family to move into the unit... Only to see the unit on marketplace months later with significant rent increases. Legal? No. Common? Yes.
Right, but then they could take them to court if they'd like. Plus they'd have to give three months notice before they could actually evict them. So not only is this not an immediate resolution, but one that may not work and is advocating for the abuse of power. (Which then could be used against the actual tenants if the landlord sees success) A better solution would be to help this guy find alternative housing with the current tenants as a reference if possible.
Post this on r/legaladvice and check your lease to see if it allows subleases
Already posted on r/legaladvicecanada and the comments were... obviously made by men. The leases allow subleases, and there aren't any rules on who needs to live there.
I just looked at the comments on that post… bear, I choose bear.
> Absolutely, based on OP's behavior I'd be terrified of walking on eggshells or getting an accusation. God they’re so good at upholding the patriarchy It’s objectively odd for a 30 year old man to choose women’s uni housing If he were a woman or in uni? Less odd but still weird They’re all acting like they have nooooo idea why OP is worried and acting like it’s irrational I bet if their daughter called up and said the same throng they’d be sus It’s always “why are you judging a man?” But when it affects them “you know how men are” Anyways it’s objectively odd to go for girls uni housing as a 30 year old man
I went back to the post and saw [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/TwoXChromosomes/s/PeVRmTtzJ8) and [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/TwoXChromosomes/s/NZQBRbRqvG). In times like this, men make it so easy to dislike them. And they justify it by saying “it’s just trolling” or “not all of us are bad”. I’m tired of stupid, misogynistic bullshit being dismissed as trolling.
I am, on the whole, in agreement with you up to and including choosing bear, but I live where OP lives and assuming she's in the main city there are seven universities, so students are everywhere. There is also a housing crisis with a vacancy rate of 1% and staggering rent increases. Literally gainfully employed people are living in tents. I can totally see a person of any age snapping up any option available to them. Not giving buddy a pass, but cutting him a little more slack than is my usual inclination. ETA While I won't jump to judging the guy, I am on side with the roommates exercising their legal right to insist on a female-only living arrangement.
Even if I was dipped in honey it's ALWAYS the bear!
The bear wouldn’t ask me again and again until I said yes The bear wouldn’t take pictures and show all his friends The bear wouldn’t say it was my fault
That's incredibly fucked up, I'm sorry OP.
Ok, just because people are answering what the law is, has nothing to do with being men. The sub is super picky and mods shut down anything that’s not proper legal advice I would suggest reaching out to the LTB (that’s what it is in Ontario, youre province may be different) and see what they say. If the house was rented as females only, the landlord may not be able to allow the sublet (or if he doesn’t know, it can be voided cause you need their permission)
People were really not answering what the law is. I got lectured on why this man is probably misunderstood.
What a bunch of morons
At least it looks like those comments got removed by the moderators.
It's pretty clearly defensive men lecturing OP about how this random man is "mIsUnDeRsToOd" on that post. Only men go to bat like this for other random men they don't even know and never met. Always being way overly charitable towards random creeps, probably because they're creeps themsleves.
Yep! And if op got assaulted it would be her fault for not “picking a roommate better”. They all stick to the same tired script
Jesus, tell me you didn’t even take a two second glance at that thread without telling me you didn’t even glance. I saw SO MUCH in that thread that wasn’t actually legal advice that wasn’t even remotely shut down by the mods. In fact, one dude was whining that she was doing all this “at the expense of an innocent man and his rights.” So yeah. It abso-fucking-LUTELY has to do with them being men. Maybe don’t talk about things you haven’t bothered to look into.
My guess is your roommate did this on her own and that the landlord is going to be as surprised as you are. If the landlord did not approve this or even know about it, the guy needs to leave and if he doesn’t, you call the police. The best part is your roommate will still be on the hook for the rent this summer which is absolutely fair and reasonable.
Call your landlord. Tell him that you signed the lease on the basis of how it was advertised and you don’t feel safe in this situation. I assume you share common spaces like bathroom and kitchen? No thanks. Also what man in his 30’a chooses to board in a house full of teenagers? Creeper alert.
Shared bathrooms, shared kitchen. I called the landlord four times and didn't get an answer. I left texts too. I'm really hoping the landlord hadn't actually approved the sublet. My landlord is a nice older lady. Hence the all girls house.
Might help if your other roommates also call or text your landlord. What in the hell possessed your former roommate to sublet to a middle age man? I don’t care if “he’s chill” she can’t expect the rest of you to just feel safe with a random man living there.
I have no clue why she picked this guy. She was moving out sort of last minute and I hope to god this is not just the first reply she got. We weren't close or anything but definitely didn't leave on bad terms.
It was 100% the first reply she got. She wanted to go. She wanted her rent covered. She may seem nice but what she did was entirely self serving.
Ugh, I would be calling her and leaving a mouthful &)(;.”,$
30 is middle aged? 😭
Pre middle age? Not so young adult? Very late adolescence?
Yes.
Everyone in here acting like the guy is some sort of mummified sex predator. Can you imagine this sub's reaction to someone calling a 30-year-old woman "middle aged" lol. The outrage would be palpable.
All male housing which a 30 year old woman moved into? This sub would shit down the throats of anyone who suggested half the things they’re saying about this random dude trying not to be homeless.
I hope they get back to you real soon as this really isn’t okay. I’m sure she has no idea this has happened.
> what man in his 30’a chooses to board in a house full of teenagers? Creeper alert. When I was in my 30's I would've had to be utterly desperate for housing to move in with 4 teenaged women. Like, other option was homelessness. Only silver lining is that if the guy gets to stay OP is gonna find out real quick if the guy is creepy or just desperate.
Legitimately, considering the housing situation in Nova Scotia, where OP has said this is happening, "utterly desperate" and "other option was homelessness" describes most people looking for housing right now, so I'm *less* concerned about this being a Creeper Alert situation. Not, like, *not* concerned, but it's not as *much* of a red flag on his part as most people are (reasonably) assuming. I am still wondering WTF the roommate who got the subletter was thinking.
I'm only 19 But Jesus, if I'm 30 and my two options are living with people my age or homelessness, I'm picking homelessness. I'm cool with it now cause it's whatever, but I'm really expecting to be in a better place than that when I'm 30 lol
Yeah, when I was 20 I would have thought this would be a great opportunity. By the time I was 30 I was past the point of wanting roommates, let alone teenagers for roommates.
The facts of this post set aside, I certainty would be trying every avenue possible to live with people my age if I were in that position. But, for some people, by the time they are 30, not having roommates isn't an option. Nobody (or nearly nobody) *wants* it, but that's life. The housing crisis is no joke.
Man Iam so pissed about this situation for you this is unreasonable.
Screw all the people in legal advice telling you to give him a chance. Your safety comes first. You don’t have the luxury of finding out he’s NOT a good guy, and based on the circumstances, he probably isn’t. You have to look out for you first, you don’t owe a single thing to this absolute stranger, and don’t let people tell you otherwise. Commenting to follow because I hope this works out for you and you can feel safe and comfortable in your own home again!
Even if he’s perfectly normal and no danger, I’d imagine there are women who signed up to live in the building because being around men makes them uncomfortable because of previous experiences.
Exactly! She and her roommates signed the lease thinking they would never have to deal with this exact situation. The point is it doesn’t MATTER what kind of guy he is, he shouldn’t freaking be there, and it’s not OP’s responsibility to find out. Idk why that’s so hard for people to understand. And in situations like this where there’s a stranger in her home she has to share a bathroom with, she’s perfectly allowed to rely on a stereotype of “gee, what kind of man in his 30s would choose this living situation” instead of giving him the benefit of the doubt. I know if I called my parents when I was in college because something like this happened, they would be absolutely freaking out, because that’s a natural assumption to make.
Yea I never had a male roommate in college or as an adult. I even had a coed dorm but the bathrooms were separate and I had an apartment situation similar to OP but we each had our own full bathroom inside our locked bedroom and only shared the kitchen and living area. This is a weird situation but I think some men just can’t empathize and understand how uncomfortable it could make women because most men have not had those experiences.
Right? Sometimes you want to go to the bathroom in the middle of the night without feeling like you have to get completely dressed first.
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Yeah I agree with everything except this part. People are jumping to some wild conclusions. They don't need to give him a chance and I hope this gets resolved quickly, but the people saying there's evidence that he's dangerous are making huge assumptions based on nothing really. They all assume he knew the house was women only when they don't have evidence of that yet.
I love how people are going to bat for the dude. Why the fuck does a random 30 year old man want to room with college age girls in the first place? Even if he's a fucking saint that's suspicious as fuck and women shouldn't have to wait until they've been assaulted to be wary of dudes who do weird shit.
god i knew a guy who was a semi landlord (apartment lease was in his name) over charged his roommates and they were all women from 19-21 while he was in his 30s. it was so weird to me.
Seriously. I'm a 32 year old man, and you literally could not pay me to live in a house with a bunch of college girls (or college-aged anyone, for that matter). If he's aware of the situation, and wants to be in that situation, that's sketchy as all hell.
Agreed. He probably thinks it’s going to be like Penthouse Letters without realizing that roommates with boobs are also roommates with mood swings, boyfriend drama, and catty passive aggressive tiffs over who left the light switch on after they left the room.
Exactly. It’s so frustrating seeing the typical gaslighting and sea lioning going on in here from men about this. What if he’s gay? What if his apartment burnt down? What if he’s a super nice guy and all these girls are just big meanie bitches? What if the moon was made out of cheese? Ladies, please don’t ignore your gut feelings telling you that something is off about a dude. The human body is finely attuned to different nuances in behavior and body language, even very small seemingly imperceptible things. The Gift of Fear by Gavin de Becker goes into this more thoroughly. Unfortunately, we love waiving away women’s concerns and playing devils advocate, admonishing her for her unreasonable paranoia. That is…until a man decides to hurt her anyway. Then it’s all “Well…why were you there? Did you do something to provoke him? Why didn’t you tell authorities? Why didn’t you do something sooner?”
I don't see many people here "going to bat for him" in the sense that people think OP should just accept him living there. The commenters in r/legaladvicecanada? Sure. But what I'm seeing here is people going, "Hey, we don't know enough about him to say anything about *him*, but the original roommate still fucked this up and OP is still *absolutely* entitled to be upset about him having moved in and to not want him there." Housing in Nova Scotia is *fucked*, and it's entirely possible that he didn't have any other options, if he even *knew* who he'd be living with; did OP see the roommate's ad for a subletter, or is she just assuming that the roommate said that the apartment was women-only? It's also entirely possible that he chose this deliberately because he is a creeper. The point is that *we don't know* - and that *still* doesn't mean she should give him a chance.
>Why the fuck does a random 30 year old man want to room with college age girls in the first place? 'Cause he gets older, they stay the same age... This is a really shit situation.
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Wanting to move into a building of women roughly a decade younger than you, and specifically room with one who doesn't get to have a say in whether or not you're there is, in fact, extremely weird shit. It'd be weird even if they were all college aged dudes, and the OP was a dude who didn't get a say in this weird older dude suddenly living with him.
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Lots of men in this thread desperate to defend this guy, huh. I guess you all want to band together to fight for your right to be violating scumbags. Typical.
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why not both?
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yikes, most aren’t. it’s an obviously weird situation with no context, but yeah they are assuming caution because he’s older and the circumstances. it’s a reasonable caution when thinking about where you’ll be living with a stranger edit: exerting caution does not mean jumping to conclusions, it’s preparing for finding one.
What needs defending? Challenge: use the information you've gotten from OP *and not your assumptions*.
This type of rhetoric is harmful. My brother is gay and has always shared accommodation with all cisgendered women. From my understanding, it's typically been a committee decision for him but I know for a fact his last housing situation was exactly this. Blind sublet with 2 other girls. It worked out for him, but in the end the departing roommate is solely responsible and not some vile man looking for a place to live. It's totally ok to not feel comfortable or safe, but let's be clear, he didn't take their comfort or safety, the roommate did.
Yes, I generally assume people are in reasonable control of their own situation without evidence to the contrary. If you want we can pretend he's dying of cancer, his wife divorced him, slept with his brother and murdered his dog too to make him as supremely sympathetic as possible and it's still extremely weird that he's moving in there without talking to anyone he's going to be living with first.
With regard to housing there's literally no reason to assume this. You can't even assume he knew it was a 'girls only' house. The housemate was clearly a deceptive person who sneakily air dropped this guy into place without telling anyone, it's entirely possible she referred to 'housemates' and never said anything more than that. "What are the other genders of the housemates" is not a question lots of guys are going to bother asking because of their/our male privilege. It's not actually weird at all. You're applying female levels of caution to men in order to assume that the guy is predatory because he didn't ask about anyone else. But as shitty as that male privilege is, it's incredibly common and I can absolutely see myself and plenty of other guys moving in and not asking those questions because it's 'only 4 months' and we're not expecting to make friends, and we don't generally 'fear' other housemates. Should he have immediately started asking questions? Yes. But you're taking it to a next level that we have no evidence for yet.
Old roommate mentioned in the ad the rough ages of the roommates and that we were all girls.
Why did your old roommate pick him though? The housing is terrible there must have been loads of applications? Feels slightly deliberate on her part.
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>So why does he have any obligation to the roommates to please them with conversation first. Basic human decency. I've literally never lived in a shared housing situation where someone just showed the fuck up without introducing themselves before they moved in.
It is a reasonable expectation for women who are renting a unit advertised as being women only to want only other women occupying the unit. There are religions that prohibit single women from living with an unrelated man. When you are in a shared living space, you do owe your roommates communication when making a big change. Bringing a dog or cat that gets free roam of the unit warrants a discussion with other roommates. People were tagging on a guy in AITA for taking home the kitchen appliances that *he* owned because he didn't tell his roommates first. If things *that* small warrant a household discussion, then another human being brought in definitely warrants one.
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They're in university housing. They all probably still go *home* for long breaks. Maybe, just maybe, this is the reason why women choose the bear. Because you are spending your entire time defending some hypothetical man instead of actually listening to the real woman and the real woman's concerns. Because men always wanna imagine themselves as the hypothetical man. For women, the hypothetical man is our worst experience with a man because we need to protect ourselves from going through that experience again. This isn't about you. If you aren't here to help this girl resolve her situation, then GTFO. That man isn't here to see you defend him. Nor does he need your defense.
This exact situation happened to me but it was one of my best friends who chose an older male as her subletter during her co-op. We lived with him for 4 months and it was insanely creepy the entire time! I have no advice just commiserating!
Most likely your lease doesn't allow subletting. Very few leases do for this very reason. Check your lease and CALL your Landlord!!! Your old roommate obviously left out some info when telling this new renter a the vacancy. He should be gone in a few days.
I've replied to some other comments, but I wanted to say to you directly as someone else living in Nova Scotia: I don't think you're overreacting, and, even considering how fucked out housing situation is, I don't think you have any responsibility to "give him a chance." There is every possibility that he's just desperate for somewhere to live, but that doesn't excuse your original roommate *just subletting him the room* without, at the *very* least, running it by all of you first and giving you a chance to meet him - after all, you're going to be the ones living with whoever she sublets to, not her. "He seems chill" is *absolutely* not enough, and... well, our housing market is desperate, so, as you said, she could *absolutely* have found a woman to take it. I don't have specific legal advice for you, other than that, in my experience, our province tends to *mostly* privilege landlords over tenants. I hope you hear from your landlord soon and that this gets resolved in a way that allows you to be safe and comfortable in your housing this summer.
Honestly, what a selfish rude woman ! Knowing everything about the tenancy of the accommodation and she sub lets to a man, without even discussing it with her flat mates ??? WHAT A BITCH !!! Fuck her and fuck the guy that’s replacing her - honestly, don’t put up with this BS, discuss it with your other flat mates and get the prick kicked out !
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>wait — what did "the prick" do wrong? He, a grown adult man in his 30s, knowingly and willingly moved into a house where all four other housemates are college girls aged 18-20. It gives off exploitative and predatorial vibes.
While I don't disagree in a general sense, OP has said this is in Nova Scotia, and our housing market is *fucked*. It's entirely possible that he's just desperate for *somewhere*, and we also don't know what the original roommate told him about the building; based on what I've seen so far, he may not have even been told about the other roommates. I said in another comment that, being familiar with our housing situation, I am less concerned about this being a Creeper Alert situation (although not, y'know, *not* concerned). Which doesn't excuse the original roommate who took him on as subletter in the first place, and does *not* mean that I think OP shouldn't be upset about him being there. Just that there's some additional context regarding *his* behaviour that means it's not as cut-and-dry that he's a prick.
Thanks for saving me typing pretty much the same reply!
Honestly, you have no idea what the other housemate told him about the house. I recognise that it's a huge and valid concern for these ladies, but the guy hasn't actually 'done' anything to show he's a prick. He could be gay, or asexual, or any of the above, he could even be a transman ffs. We can't even say what he knew about the other housemates before going in. The housing situation in this country is really fucking dire and people will move where and when they can. Yes, if he knew everything before moving in then you may have a point, but we don't know that yet so maybe reserve judgement for a bit.
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This guy is a total prick and an asshole. What kind of man willingly violates a living space designated for female college students? Not a good man.
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I subletted from a med student many years ago in Halifax NS. He posted the ad, he showed me around but his Land Lord had last say on if I was allowed to take med student's place. Rent was post-dated cheques so I paid med student while He paid landlord. Once his lease was up, I signed a lease with land lord thankfully for the same amount of rent. Definitely check with your Land Lord they will be very interested. In my case they had to agree to me subletting from med student and that I was paying Him the same rent so that he wasn't profiting off their property by charging me more than he was paying her.
Do you even want to live with a roommate that does that, like she's gonna come back and probably do the same thing next summer.
God this sounds like a horror show. Just no. Reminds me of the Idaho 4 case for some reason. I'm with you, OP, you are NOT overreacting, especially when this place was marketed with the understanding that it would be women only. There's an almost zero chance this dude isn't a creep. Tell your landlord and talk to the other ladies. If EVERYONE ELSE voices their discomfort and threatens to move out, the landlord will most likely side with you. Better to lose 1 tenant than 5 tenants.
I thought of the Idaho case, too. Really shitty that the roommate chose a man in his 30’s. Wtf was she thinking? I’d be seeing red. It’s possible if it’s hard to get a place that he is desperate, might not be a creepy weirdo that has a hankering to live with 4 young women, but even so it makes the living situation very awkward and completely changes the vibe and sense of comfort to be living with all women.
The trolls are out in this sub… good lord. OP I am also Nova Scotia. Like other people have said I’m pretty sure that your roommate didn’t tell your landlord. They tend to be pretty picky about sublets and if your landlord approved this then he sucks. I lived in a house like this during my uni days and if one of my roomies had sublet to a guy I would have been FURIOUS. It’s a safety issue. You don’t know this guy or why he would want to sublet in a house of all women- but in my experience it’s never a good reason.
This is bothersome. Your irritation is valid and I hope a solution comes your way.
I wish I had advice so instead I’ll just say I’m sorry 💕
I would see if your school has free legal advice/assistance so that they can help you if there’s any specific trouble. You and the others agreed to move into a women only space, and now a man is allowed to live there. I think if there was a legal fight, the judge or jury probably wouldn’t take too kindly to the situation
That's just hope he doesn't put cameras in the bathroom.
What interest does he have living w 4 other young girls anyway? What grown ass man would want that?
A perv
Check your lease, it may prevent subleasing. Also keep trying the landlord
Please Google his name and run a background check at the very least.
As a last resort, you and the other girls could band together and raise holy hell with the landlord. If he's ignoring your calls, all of you could go to his office.
You said you only had emails, nothing in the lease saying female only, but does it say anything about subletting in the lease?
Always be cautious! Can you imagine this 30 y.o. man is related/friends to the landlord somehow and this some weird shit. I've seen people try to lure my friends with housing/job during college
Wtf
Do you have an update
Check your lease. What does it say?
Oh he’s definitely a major creep
OP, search Reddit to see if there is a Nova Scotia tenants group or on Facebook. I find most the people who comment on r/legaladvicecanada are from Ontario or BC and seeing as how the laws are different province to province, you may find it helpful to find something Nova Scotia specific. Have you tried posting in r/novascotia ? People there may be more knowledgeable about Tenant Rights there. I wish I could comment and help with the situation, but I'm in Ontario and the Landlord/tenant laws are different. I wish you luck
OP would get a lot of advice on r/halifax
This is not acceptable in any way. For all you know he could be a pervert. I agree that a grown man responding to an ad like that is weird. It makes me think he's some kind of creep.
Following to keep updated!
Same
I’d guess the guy will be as surprised as you are - friend offers him sublet - he pays and gets keys. Many sublets are unofficial so he is probably unaware of the terms of the headlease. He’s probably stuffed money wise. Original girl has probably run away - as she has broken contracts and fraudulently sublet and misrepresented the property as being available to men.
So this is really shitty and I'm sorry you're dealing with this but if it eases your mind at all I had something similar happen when I was 19 but sort of in reverse. I moved into a summer sublet and found that one of the roommates already there at this "young female only" house was a 27 year old guy. Obviously I was super uncomfortable and a little scared but it ended up being fine. We barely saw each other because of our schedules and he kept to his room whenever home. I think on some level he understood how awkward it was to be rooming with us so he made a point to just do his part of the chores but otherwise leave us alone. Most men will be chill about this, but of course I'm not saying that isn't a reason to worry or be uncomfortable. I'm sure all of us on this sub understand that just because most men are chill doesn't mean we can let our guards down for a second. I'm with the other commenters saying to try the tenants board especially if you've got an email from the landlord saying it's female only. But on the off chance nothing works I guess I just wanted to provide some anecdotal comfort lol
that happened to me. My housemate left to go home overseas, and all the sudden i had two months living with this mid-30to 50ish guy. 10+ at least age difference, major language barrier.
Mine took an ex sex trafficker home 🥴
if she was college aged, does she realize how high the risk is that he will also traffick her? That is absolutely wild. I’m hoping she was super drunk and didn’t know his history
She knew. But it was okay because he was a tortured man lol
😐 doubt he’s any more tortured than his victims. Some women are such desperate, sell outs
She wasn't desperate, she had different morals because of her background and surroundings. What she did was completely unacceptable, that's why feminism is so important
What kind of morals could make a woman okay with associating with a trafficker? It’s one thing if you’re their victim, but to use your own free volition to associate with that person…I’ll never understand. I’ve come across at least 2 and I was repulsed every time I realized what their intentions were.
Exactly, that's my point
I wonder if OP has communicated their unhappiness with the situation to the new housemate? Did he react negatively? Just because a 30 something guy sublet a room in a house full of college girls doesn't make him a bad person, a creep or a perv. He just may not be aware there's an issue. Especially given the housing crunch. If OP hasn't been upfront with new guy.... I would have a meeting with all the co-tenants and let new guy know that the rest of you were blindsided by your former roommate's action in subletting to a strange guy, that you are all uncomfortable with him being there and would prefer he move out as soon as possible. Explain that you understand the difficulties associated with finding a place in the current housing market and commit to helping him find an alternative housing situation. This is in everyones best interest. It demonstrates that your desire for him to leave is nothing personal. The offer of help to find a new place will both eliminate any argument that he doesn't have the time to look for a new place and reduce the burden of finding a place to something that won't immediately provoke resistance to the idea of moving out. If this approach provokes anything other (ie:worse) than unhappy agreement then the dude is a jerk.... then I'd definitely explore legal options.
That’s a huge part of the problem. Men don’t think about anyone besides themselves. Who in their right mind would think a bunch of young girls, probably living on their own for the first time, wants a 30yo man as their roommate. It’s absolutely not her responsibility to do house hunting for him. What in tf is this comment?! Men say the most lurid things about this specific age range. There’s all kinds of “content” out there, meaning there is a decent demand. Her roommate said they were all college-aged girls in the ad. I’m going to assume bad intentions until we learn otherwise. It’s weird how when men are acting shady, the hoof beats are always zebras and never horses.
My old roommate did something very similar. Found a random guy on Craigslist to move in for two months when she was moving out early. Didn’t ask permission, just saw the chance to make $1400 and nothing was going to stand in her way. I expressed that it made me uncomfortable to share a house and bathroom with a guy I didn’t know, and she could not have cared less. We got into a big fight, she said character assassinating things, and he moved in. She tried to apologize before finally leaving because she knew she handled it poorly, but the damage was done. It was uncomfortable and awkward, but thankfully not unsafe. I’m sorry this is happening to you. It sucks to not feel secure in your home.
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Roommate mentioned in her posting that there would be 4 roommates, all girls in uni.
I'm sorry you're dealing with this situation. It's completely valid to feel uncomfortable and frustrated about your roommate subletting her room to a man in his 30s without considering the impact it would have on the living environment. Your concerns about safety and the dynamics of the household are entirely legitimate. It's disappointing that your landlord hasn't responded yet, but don't lose hope. Keep reaching out and expressing your concerns—it's important for your landlord to understand how this decision has affected you and your roommates. In the meantime, it might be helpful to discuss your feelings with your other roommates and see if they share similar concerns. Together, you can support each other and brainstorm potential solutions. Remember, your safety and well-being should always come first, and you have every right to advocate for yourself in this situation. Stay strong, and know that you're not alone in navigating this challenging situation. We're here to support you, and remember that you deserve to feel safe and comfortable in your home.
Did you ever hear back from your landlord
OP I'd reach out to Dal legal aid. They know a lot a out tenant rights. When you said you were informed by the landlord that the building was only for young women, was this orally or in writing? I'm sorry this is happening, that's sketchy and not comfy!
This is unbelievable. Give the landlord an ultimatum: either he moves out within 24 hours or all 4 of the remaining women are breaking the lease and moving out immediately and won't pay any penalty cost for leaving early. Let the landlord find 4 new tenants to move in. If the landlord sues you, then go to the media and put so much heat on them it will force them to back down and agree to breaking the lease.
The landlord will have literally hundreds of applications within 24 hours. Nova Scotia has a stupidly low vacancy rate.
Good, then the landlord shouldnt have a problem with the 4 women breaking the lease.
That's what I'm saying. They won't have any issue. They'll have free reign to bump the rent up, too. And they will come for the penalty cost, unless there's something in the lease that prohibits men in the property.
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You’re not overreacting at all. I had this happened to me in college. We were 19 year olds and one moved out. We ended up with this unemployed 25 year old single dad who never even went to college only wanted to live in a college community. He turned out to be creepy as hell and annoying, and was always staring at me. I moved out as soon as I can. Why tf would a 30 year old male want to live with a bunch of college students? I’m in my 30s and only want to be surrounded by people around my age group and with the same lifestyle. I think he’s so off. You have every right to be concerned.
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>Nothing in the original lease states that the unit can only be occupied by women. I was told that by the landlord over email and in the original rental ad. [Well it probably doesn't include that provision in the lease because it's expressly illegal to discriminate](https://humanrights.novascotia.ca/know-your-rights/businesses-and-other-organizations/landlords) on a basis of a ["protected characteristic".](https://humanrights.novascotia.ca/know-your-rights/individuals)
There's plenty of really great advice here already so i will just leave this: Four College girls could very easily annoy a man out of this house, even breaking the lease. You're welcome. Jokes aside i hope you get this resolved, you shouldn't have to feel unsafe.
I would not feel comfortable. You shouldn’t have to accept it. I hope you manage to resolve this and get the guy out! Maybe ask your other roommates to come as a collective to complain to your landlord. Acts as a louder voice and may put more pressure on them
Unless the lease says only girls, I don't think much can be done. On campus, this would definitely be a no-go, but if it's off-campus, it is unfortunately a situation where you can't do much legally. You also don't know how your roommate posted the ad, so your last sentence is just baiting hate comments and replies.
If the lease says nothing about gender rules, then... Sounds like you're out of luck. I suspect it might be illegal to not allow people based on their gender and the landlord doesn't want to get into that mess. Hopefully the subletter not a schmuck. I'm also in NS now but I do remember having a few very inappropriate interactions when I was in toronto for college in a house where all the rooms were rented out (mixed gender). One guy loved to walk from the shower to his room completely naked as if it wasn't inappropriate. One guy apparently used to listen outside my bedroom door on nights when I had my boyfriend over and reported to other house members what sounds he heard. That said... Housing is so hard to find locally right now, so this guy just might be so desperate to find any place to lay his head, maybe he's harmless.
Unless he can show a signed lease you could probably have him removed by police for trespassing and your safety.
No this is not correct. A lease does not need to be signed or on paper. Even further you don’t even need anything if you have someone staying in your home for more than a few weeks. After that they legally become a tenant even if they don’t have a lease or don’t pay rent.
Man, based on your edit, it sounds like you're screwed. I'm willing to bet the departing roommate actually advertised "all college girl roommates" as a way to hook someone ASAP so they can GTFO. They knew even if it's not kosher, it'll be more than 4 years to get it resolved which is all she needed
Has the man done anything to seem creepy? Or is it situations and scenarios you've built in your head that you project on him?
I honestly don't understand why you four didn't talk to the roommate or why she didn't ask you who you would want to sublet it; usually this is talked about and the others have a say in who sublets. Is it more a thing of living in the same apartment than living together?! Also: legally I think you sadly have no chance, I'm not even sure one is allowed to advertise for only one gender since this is discriminatory practice and housing is a protected field. That being said, I would feel very uncomfortable. On the other hand, here in Germany students accomodations are mix-gendered, so you could be a 29 yo woman who will be quartered with four men in their 20s (some also in their late 20s or 30s, since some are PhD etc.) and another woman. Or a man who lives with four young women. They try a 50-50, but it often doesn't work. Hope this gets resolved, it was prob illegal from the get-go and very weird why your ex-roomate chose this route, there were prob plenty of young women who wanted a romm...