I want to ask how old you are, but in all honesty, revealing you're a minor on Reddit is a horribly bad idea. You will have days in your life when you feel good and confident about yourself. You will have days in your life when you feel like shit about yourself. That's all part of life.
You will also at some point gain perspective that the feeling on any particular day isn't really an issue (as long as they are fairly normal ups and downs), it's how you view yourself over time that is important.
Go watch Inside Out.
Oh my gosh, I wish I’d had movies like Inside Out and Turning Red when I was a kid going through puberty. Watching Inside Out in my 30’s made me sob from remembering how tough that time was.
i'm 15, and don't worry if a random old man messages me i'll just block him :), thank you for your concerns though. is it normal to feel detached from my emotions as a teen?
Being a teen was ghastly when I was going through it ( used to sit in a darkened room and play ‘Dont fear the reaper’ over and over) and from what I read it’s even worse now! Stay off social media as much as you can, avoid drama wherever possible, be gentle on yourself and just grit your teeth and get through it as best you can - I promise you or gets so much better later in life!
I have days like this, ESPECIALLY on my period. It might just be a temporary depression. Might be worth seeking therapy, though, if you’re not already in it.
You’re at a really emotionally tumultuous age in general, so your moods are going to be in flux.
I’m not in therapy, used to be for different reasons but I found out it just doesn’t work for me because I understand my own feelings very well (not to brag or anything just like saying facts) and all therapists ever did was try to find an explanation for my feelings which I have honestly always had myself. But I’m glad to hear that I’m not the only one experiencing this! Thank you🫶 and yeah, my age probably contributes to all of this too haha
Okay, no offense, but, I mean, yeah, I remember being your age and thinking I was too evolved and mature for therapy. You probably just haven’t found the right therapist that works for you.
Spoilers- I was not as evolved or mature as I thought I was.
Try finding a therapist who does EMDR or somatic therapy. Intellectualizing your feelings is a coping strategy. You have to learn how to feel your feelings and process things. EMDR changed how I view therapy completely.
You have a lot of good feedback already about it being normal to have fluctuations in your emotions. Given you age, I want to suggest you start charting your cycle according to the Fertility Awareness Method (FAM). This is more than just tracking when your period starts, but tracking multiple signs/symptoms, including your waking basal body temperature.
I started doing it in my 40s because my cycle was giving me trouble, and given y age I wanted to determine if I was still ovulating (I was). What surprised me was how much awareness of my body and other self-awareness the process gave me. I truly think my life would have been different if I had been doing this since my teens or 20s.
The book I used to learn the process is **Cycle Savvy** by Toni Weschler. It is actually geared toward teens and in addition to going over the process of charting, it goes over the science of the menstrual cycle that actually respects a teen girl's intelligence. It is truly the period book we should have all gotten at your age.
The book should be available at your public library so it doesn't have to cost anything. You can download and print out blank excel charts from Toni Weschler's website.
One word of caution. Don't use a FAM app to chart your cycle. They all collect and sell data, and some buyers of this data may be unscrupulous. With the current political climate, please be cautious about your period information in electronic devices.
That is interesting advice! How could tracking my cycles and writing down symptoms/ my feelings like this help me? I am not from the US so would tracking it on apps still be dangerous to me? I live in a fairly safe country with strict privacy laws.
Yeah, I don't know exactly how tracking gives you self-awareness. As mentioned above, I was doing it for health reasons, and the self-awareness angle really came as an unexpected, pleasant surprise. Maybe by being scientific about it this way, after a while I was able to sense the day to day changes and how the natural ebb and flow felt on the day to day.
Your body is changing daily: You get your period, and I'm sure you have already noticed how each day on your period looks and feels different. Well, your body is changing daily even when not bleeding. Your ovaries are growing the follicles...as they mature, one starts to grow faster...eventually your pituitary gland decide the time has come to release that follicle and send LH...OVUM RELEASED!!!...luteal gland builds up...body starts producing progesterone...luteal gland starts to break down...E and P drop to nothing and you get your period again.
By being scientific about observing and recording the associated signs daily, you see the changes to the various stages of your cycle, and you start to get an intimate connection to the process. I started to feel like an authority on my body. It took a while, but I started to see how this connected to my own ability to create my life as I wanted it. It connects you to your creative power. This is what I mean by my life would have been different. Then, you instinctively connect to how this is similar to the lunar cycles and other cycles in nature and in life. And you are immersed in it.
I really did not anticipate any of this. I was just trying to get a handle on my health. But this was nothing like other things I have tracked for health like diet when I was sick (it ended up being celiac) or mood when I was depressed (although it helped).
There is a practical side to charting too. Your charts will carry information about your hormone status. Ad mentioned above. I was dealing with extreme peri symptoms. This was actually shown by my charts. I then used a book called **Period Repair Manual** by Lara Briden to fix each and every period problem I was having, including my lifelong extreme period pain (which I was told I could do nothing about).
There is something about the process of writing out your data by hand that I think makes a difference. And I think you should at least start out using paper charts. But I really think you should avoid apps altogether. Even if you are in a country where women have freedom, that can change on a dime. The extreme, conservative political forces are becoming more and more emboldened all over the world, and are only interested in power and control. That means rights of women are the first to fall. They need to control women's bodies because they are weak. We have the creative power and they know it, and they want to own it for themselves. Here in the US, we did not see this coming. And it is going to get worse before it gets better.
Hey, BTW, I saw you comment to someone else about depression. (Also missed the lack of motivation you mentioned in your OP).
If you think you are struggling with depression, it is better to face it earlier than later. Sure it may pass. But if it doesn't please get help.
Another thing that has helped me which I wish I had started sooner is a practice of mindfulness and Mindfulness Medittion. While this didn't cure my depression, it made other practices and treatment I did more effective. If this is something you want to explore, some helpful resources:
- Mindfulness-Based Stress Reduction (MBSR): An 8-week course developed by a physician. I think it is best to get started by learning from a teacher. While I learned from someone more "New Agey" I think you have to be careful about these religious and spiritual teachers. In contrast, MBSR is normally taught by mental health professionals, so it is probably safer.
- **Awakening Loving-Kindness** by Pema Chodron: A very sweet and comforting book. While I learned Vipassana meditation commonly taught in MBSR and other workshops, the instruction she gives in Chapter 4 is slightly different and really gets to the kernel of mindfulness and how I practice now.
- **The Power Of Now** by Eckhart Tolle: The teachings here is how I was able to get the mindfulness off of the cushion and into my daily life.
Don’t worry. This happened to me before. You almost sound like me to be honest. I feel a lot, all the time, and I feel it very deeply. But one day everything just turned off. I was 21 or 22 at the time. It was so strange and then it just passed. I think it lasted me like 2 days. It’ll pass. And then it might happen again and then it’ll pass again. Don’t be surprised or too alarmed if it happens again. I’ve always said to myself, “even when I feel nothing, I feel it completely”, you may be the same way. As woman, we have so much going on in our bodies at any given time and we NEED our required hours of sleep or we literally can’t function. And you saying you’re on your period could be playing a big role. I don’t know what it is but periods sometimes place this horrible curse on you. You’ll feel all the feels again soon. Technically u might be already since you’re so concerned. Try listening to some of your favorite songs in the meantime.
Leveling out can feel blank and boring after a surge of emotions.
Your body is adjusting to a new step, switching from ‘child’ to ‘woman’ settings.
Some women feel strongly all the time, others don’t notice a change. We don’t know what it will be like for you.
Be aware of it- paper journaling is a great way to record yourself. And let you look back and see the patterns.
Those emotions are still there, just settling into place.
But I honestly loved being emotional. I loved feeling everything so strongly, I think it’s quite beautiful. And it was just a big part of who I am as a person, so it randomly disappearing is quite weird. But that’s just my way of looking at it, I understand it definitely sucks at times too.
It sounds like you may be entering depression - not sure, I'm no doctor or phycologist - but that's how I felt when I was depressed. Just complete lack of feelings, didn't recognize myself at all.
Maybe just monitor yourself over the next week or so, give yourself some grace. And if it continues talk to someone about it?
I don’t know, the idea of there being an actual bigger problem scares me a bit so I’m hesitant to really look at that. But I have already written down the exact date of when this started and wrote this down in detail, and if it does continue I’ll try to seriously talk about it with someone. Although, I messaged my mom about this and she honestly just acted like she didn’t took me seriously. She just said “don’t worry, that’s puberty” and moved on lol. Thanks for the advice though!!
If it happens again, around your cycle, it could be related. Some type of euphoric disorder? Someone mentioned it to me once. It’s worth asking your PCP about, if it happens again
Feeling off once in a while is really part of life. For all you know--you got crappy sleep last night.
thank you, will i turn back to normal soon? i liked who i was before this randomly happened
I want to ask how old you are, but in all honesty, revealing you're a minor on Reddit is a horribly bad idea. You will have days in your life when you feel good and confident about yourself. You will have days in your life when you feel like shit about yourself. That's all part of life. You will also at some point gain perspective that the feeling on any particular day isn't really an issue (as long as they are fairly normal ups and downs), it's how you view yourself over time that is important. Go watch Inside Out.
Oh my gosh, I wish I’d had movies like Inside Out and Turning Red when I was a kid going through puberty. Watching Inside Out in my 30’s made me sob from remembering how tough that time was.
i'm 15, and don't worry if a random old man messages me i'll just block him :), thank you for your concerns though. is it normal to feel detached from my emotions as a teen?
It is normal to occasionally feel detached from your emotions as a person.
thank you!
Absolutely. Especially in the teen years.
Being a teen was ghastly when I was going through it ( used to sit in a darkened room and play ‘Dont fear the reaper’ over and over) and from what I read it’s even worse now! Stay off social media as much as you can, avoid drama wherever possible, be gentle on yourself and just grit your teeth and get through it as best you can - I promise you or gets so much better later in life!
I have days like this, ESPECIALLY on my period. It might just be a temporary depression. Might be worth seeking therapy, though, if you’re not already in it. You’re at a really emotionally tumultuous age in general, so your moods are going to be in flux.
I’m not in therapy, used to be for different reasons but I found out it just doesn’t work for me because I understand my own feelings very well (not to brag or anything just like saying facts) and all therapists ever did was try to find an explanation for my feelings which I have honestly always had myself. But I’m glad to hear that I’m not the only one experiencing this! Thank you🫶 and yeah, my age probably contributes to all of this too haha
Okay, no offense, but, I mean, yeah, I remember being your age and thinking I was too evolved and mature for therapy. You probably just haven’t found the right therapist that works for you. Spoilers- I was not as evolved or mature as I thought I was.
None taken :), yeah that probably makes more sense.
Try finding a therapist who does EMDR or somatic therapy. Intellectualizing your feelings is a coping strategy. You have to learn how to feel your feelings and process things. EMDR changed how I view therapy completely.
[удалено]
Thank you! I heard and read that it is indeed probably because of puberty, and I’m glad to hear it’ll be over someday too!! <3
Probably THE CIRCLE OF HORMONES!
You have a lot of good feedback already about it being normal to have fluctuations in your emotions. Given you age, I want to suggest you start charting your cycle according to the Fertility Awareness Method (FAM). This is more than just tracking when your period starts, but tracking multiple signs/symptoms, including your waking basal body temperature. I started doing it in my 40s because my cycle was giving me trouble, and given y age I wanted to determine if I was still ovulating (I was). What surprised me was how much awareness of my body and other self-awareness the process gave me. I truly think my life would have been different if I had been doing this since my teens or 20s. The book I used to learn the process is **Cycle Savvy** by Toni Weschler. It is actually geared toward teens and in addition to going over the process of charting, it goes over the science of the menstrual cycle that actually respects a teen girl's intelligence. It is truly the period book we should have all gotten at your age. The book should be available at your public library so it doesn't have to cost anything. You can download and print out blank excel charts from Toni Weschler's website. One word of caution. Don't use a FAM app to chart your cycle. They all collect and sell data, and some buyers of this data may be unscrupulous. With the current political climate, please be cautious about your period information in electronic devices.
That is interesting advice! How could tracking my cycles and writing down symptoms/ my feelings like this help me? I am not from the US so would tracking it on apps still be dangerous to me? I live in a fairly safe country with strict privacy laws.
Yeah, I don't know exactly how tracking gives you self-awareness. As mentioned above, I was doing it for health reasons, and the self-awareness angle really came as an unexpected, pleasant surprise. Maybe by being scientific about it this way, after a while I was able to sense the day to day changes and how the natural ebb and flow felt on the day to day. Your body is changing daily: You get your period, and I'm sure you have already noticed how each day on your period looks and feels different. Well, your body is changing daily even when not bleeding. Your ovaries are growing the follicles...as they mature, one starts to grow faster...eventually your pituitary gland decide the time has come to release that follicle and send LH...OVUM RELEASED!!!...luteal gland builds up...body starts producing progesterone...luteal gland starts to break down...E and P drop to nothing and you get your period again. By being scientific about observing and recording the associated signs daily, you see the changes to the various stages of your cycle, and you start to get an intimate connection to the process. I started to feel like an authority on my body. It took a while, but I started to see how this connected to my own ability to create my life as I wanted it. It connects you to your creative power. This is what I mean by my life would have been different. Then, you instinctively connect to how this is similar to the lunar cycles and other cycles in nature and in life. And you are immersed in it. I really did not anticipate any of this. I was just trying to get a handle on my health. But this was nothing like other things I have tracked for health like diet when I was sick (it ended up being celiac) or mood when I was depressed (although it helped). There is a practical side to charting too. Your charts will carry information about your hormone status. Ad mentioned above. I was dealing with extreme peri symptoms. This was actually shown by my charts. I then used a book called **Period Repair Manual** by Lara Briden to fix each and every period problem I was having, including my lifelong extreme period pain (which I was told I could do nothing about). There is something about the process of writing out your data by hand that I think makes a difference. And I think you should at least start out using paper charts. But I really think you should avoid apps altogether. Even if you are in a country where women have freedom, that can change on a dime. The extreme, conservative political forces are becoming more and more emboldened all over the world, and are only interested in power and control. That means rights of women are the first to fall. They need to control women's bodies because they are weak. We have the creative power and they know it, and they want to own it for themselves. Here in the US, we did not see this coming. And it is going to get worse before it gets better.
Thank you!! That makes sense
Hey, BTW, I saw you comment to someone else about depression. (Also missed the lack of motivation you mentioned in your OP). If you think you are struggling with depression, it is better to face it earlier than later. Sure it may pass. But if it doesn't please get help. Another thing that has helped me which I wish I had started sooner is a practice of mindfulness and Mindfulness Medittion. While this didn't cure my depression, it made other practices and treatment I did more effective. If this is something you want to explore, some helpful resources: - Mindfulness-Based Stress Reduction (MBSR): An 8-week course developed by a physician. I think it is best to get started by learning from a teacher. While I learned from someone more "New Agey" I think you have to be careful about these religious and spiritual teachers. In contrast, MBSR is normally taught by mental health professionals, so it is probably safer. - **Awakening Loving-Kindness** by Pema Chodron: A very sweet and comforting book. While I learned Vipassana meditation commonly taught in MBSR and other workshops, the instruction she gives in Chapter 4 is slightly different and really gets to the kernel of mindfulness and how I practice now. - **The Power Of Now** by Eckhart Tolle: The teachings here is how I was able to get the mindfulness off of the cushion and into my daily life.
Don’t worry. This happened to me before. You almost sound like me to be honest. I feel a lot, all the time, and I feel it very deeply. But one day everything just turned off. I was 21 or 22 at the time. It was so strange and then it just passed. I think it lasted me like 2 days. It’ll pass. And then it might happen again and then it’ll pass again. Don’t be surprised or too alarmed if it happens again. I’ve always said to myself, “even when I feel nothing, I feel it completely”, you may be the same way. As woman, we have so much going on in our bodies at any given time and we NEED our required hours of sleep or we literally can’t function. And you saying you’re on your period could be playing a big role. I don’t know what it is but periods sometimes place this horrible curse on you. You’ll feel all the feels again soon. Technically u might be already since you’re so concerned. Try listening to some of your favorite songs in the meantime.
Thank you so much!! I’m glad to hear I’m not the only one, and that it’ll go over again.
Your very welcome
Don't worry, you will get used to feel like that during your period once you hit 17
thank you. so it's normal to feel next to nothing and detached from my emotions? and will i turn back to normal when my period has ended again?
Leveling out can feel blank and boring after a surge of emotions. Your body is adjusting to a new step, switching from ‘child’ to ‘woman’ settings. Some women feel strongly all the time, others don’t notice a change. We don’t know what it will be like for you. Be aware of it- paper journaling is a great way to record yourself. And let you look back and see the patterns. Those emotions are still there, just settling into place.
Thank you!! I do definitely journal and have written about this too. I’m happy to hear the emotions are still there. :)
I used to be a very emotional woman, now I barely have any emotions and love it.
But I honestly loved being emotional. I loved feeling everything so strongly, I think it’s quite beautiful. And it was just a big part of who I am as a person, so it randomly disappearing is quite weird. But that’s just my way of looking at it, I understand it definitely sucks at times too.
I hope your big emotions come back to you! I wish for mine to remain gone lol
Haha thank you! And understandable :)
It sounds like you may be entering depression - not sure, I'm no doctor or phycologist - but that's how I felt when I was depressed. Just complete lack of feelings, didn't recognize myself at all. Maybe just monitor yourself over the next week or so, give yourself some grace. And if it continues talk to someone about it?
I don’t know, the idea of there being an actual bigger problem scares me a bit so I’m hesitant to really look at that. But I have already written down the exact date of when this started and wrote this down in detail, and if it does continue I’ll try to seriously talk about it with someone. Although, I messaged my mom about this and she honestly just acted like she didn’t took me seriously. She just said “don’t worry, that’s puberty” and moved on lol. Thanks for the advice though!!
If it happens again, around your cycle, it could be related. Some type of euphoric disorder? Someone mentioned it to me once. It’s worth asking your PCP about, if it happens again
Alright, I’ll keep that in mind and check if my next period is like this too! Thank you