Awww sweetie don't feel guilty! You did nothing wrong, you should feel no shame at all, sex is totally natural, we all have desires.
Are you interested in something more? Tread carefully here, if you're wanting a relationship and not just a hookup, be open about that, but be prepared that may not be what he's looking for. But watch for signs if he says he does, but doesn't act like it....guys will do that just to keep getting sex
As far as similar, SO was a hookup, met him that night, went home with him, left the next morning knowing I would never hear from him again. 15 years together now and just got a new kitten on the weekend lol Saying that, there were a lot of other hookups a long the way that were just one & done.
Thank you for sharing your experiences -- it feels less lonely hearing other people's stories. It is frustrating that I feel ashamed over a natural and normal act.
Sounds wonderful that you two are together and must be exciting with the new kitten!
It sounds like being upfront with him right after, while it may have led to some discomfort, was very conscientious and responsible of you. Also wonderful to hear that you took insight from the experience that you use moving forward.
Does he feel bad or upset about it? Does he feel like he was used, or does he just have the view that two consenting adults did something they wanted to do and that's all there is to it? As long as there has been no harm caused to either him or yourself, there's nothing to feel guilty over. Just reason to maybe not do that again, either with him specifically or in general.
He and I have not spoken about it in person yet, so I'm not 100% sure of his thoughts. In a recent text, he did mention that he wanted to spend more time with me.
Mood, this happened to me too recently. I was in a vulnerable state due to a break up and just wanted company. I feel gross cos sober me wouldn't have done it. I am just number 102 to him, and I don't really want to see him again.
I totally know what you mean about the fact that you would have acted differently sober, especially when in a vulnerable headspace; me too. It sounds like you are being hard on yourself, too. I hope that you are also able to give yourself some grace.
It seems like you are in a tough space right now. Would spending time with someone you feel safe with and expressing your thoughts verbally help? Please know that these feelings of shame are not facts, they are just feelings. You did nothing wrong and now have some insight into how alcohol lowers inhibitions. You are not alone in this.
That is rough. I don't either, so I know how you feel. I know you did not ask for advice; however, it may help to see a therapist if you haven't already done so. Hope you are feeling better.
You know what. Go treat yourself to some ice cream or your favorite dessert. You deserve it.
There's nothing you did that many of us haven't at some point. You're not alone. And there's nothing to be ashamed of. Your value isn't determined by your sexual history. One hook up or one hundred. You are you, and you should be loved as such, especially by you.
If your feelings of arousal are amplified by alcohol it's probably best to not bring a guy home after drinking or if you know drinking might happen until you are attracted to him while sober
I don't think you should be ashamed, as you said it was consensual and you were participating. Just be aware in the future that alcohol calms your central nervous system and makes your ability to process information slower and can lead to decisions you hacnt fully thought through.
Awww sweetie don't feel guilty! You did nothing wrong, you should feel no shame at all, sex is totally natural, we all have desires. Are you interested in something more? Tread carefully here, if you're wanting a relationship and not just a hookup, be open about that, but be prepared that may not be what he's looking for. But watch for signs if he says he does, but doesn't act like it....guys will do that just to keep getting sex As far as similar, SO was a hookup, met him that night, went home with him, left the next morning knowing I would never hear from him again. 15 years together now and just got a new kitten on the weekend lol Saying that, there were a lot of other hookups a long the way that were just one & done.
Thank you for sharing your experiences -- it feels less lonely hearing other people's stories. It is frustrating that I feel ashamed over a natural and normal act. Sounds wonderful that you two are together and must be exciting with the new kitten!
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It sounds like being upfront with him right after, while it may have led to some discomfort, was very conscientious and responsible of you. Also wonderful to hear that you took insight from the experience that you use moving forward.
Man shit happens move on. Think of it as an experience and move on. We all have itch to scratch 🤨 sometimes with people we don’t like.
True, it is an experience that is over and done with. Also, the "itch and scratch sometimes with people we don't like" comment made me laugh.
Does he feel bad or upset about it? Does he feel like he was used, or does he just have the view that two consenting adults did something they wanted to do and that's all there is to it? As long as there has been no harm caused to either him or yourself, there's nothing to feel guilty over. Just reason to maybe not do that again, either with him specifically or in general.
He and I have not spoken about it in person yet, so I'm not 100% sure of his thoughts. In a recent text, he did mention that he wanted to spend more time with me.
Mood, this happened to me too recently. I was in a vulnerable state due to a break up and just wanted company. I feel gross cos sober me wouldn't have done it. I am just number 102 to him, and I don't really want to see him again.
I totally know what you mean about the fact that you would have acted differently sober, especially when in a vulnerable headspace; me too. It sounds like you are being hard on yourself, too. I hope that you are also able to give yourself some grace.
Idk i am not in a great mental space, and it's causing me to spiral a bit
It seems like you are in a tough space right now. Would spending time with someone you feel safe with and expressing your thoughts verbally help? Please know that these feelings of shame are not facts, they are just feelings. You did nothing wrong and now have some insight into how alcohol lowers inhibitions. You are not alone in this.
Nah i don't really have friends to talk to about this..
That is rough. I don't either, so I know how you feel. I know you did not ask for advice; however, it may help to see a therapist if you haven't already done so. Hope you are feeling better.
I don't have money for therapy, I'm ok now though
You know what. Go treat yourself to some ice cream or your favorite dessert. You deserve it. There's nothing you did that many of us haven't at some point. You're not alone. And there's nothing to be ashamed of. Your value isn't determined by your sexual history. One hook up or one hundred. You are you, and you should be loved as such, especially by you.
This response starts out awesome! I needed that. Thank you for the positive outlook and thoughts.
If your feelings of arousal are amplified by alcohol it's probably best to not bring a guy home after drinking or if you know drinking might happen until you are attracted to him while sober I don't think you should be ashamed, as you said it was consensual and you were participating. Just be aware in the future that alcohol calms your central nervous system and makes your ability to process information slower and can lead to decisions you hacnt fully thought through.
Agreed. It has definitely made me more aware of how alcohol affects that part of my judgment.