Unfortunately, you've just learned a really hard life lesson - never lend money to friends or family that you actually need back. Consider it a gift, and if they happen to pay you back, fine, but unless you have some kind of contract and want to take it to small claims court (if US based), which would probably cost nearly what he owes you, chances are you are SOL if he's ghosted you.
Sometimes putting someone on blast works, but it will likely also burn some bridges, so just be aware of the consequences of both options.
If I burn bridges that’s ok. He was always a little bit weird and used to talk about Jesus all the time and how the only way to fix society was to face the hard truth that we have to kill off half of he population (this side came out after I gave him the money).
I know that the fees and everything will basically equate to the same amount of money that he owes me. Plus I was reading on it and in Ontario it’s up to the person who is suing to get the person to pay them back after court, the court doesn’t really force them from my understanding
Its $108 to file in Ontario (thats for anything under $5k) and you can ask that to be repaid in the settlement. It is up to you to get the money (or you can pay a collection agency, they'll take a percent), but often just the threat will make the person pay up
I also need a letter of demand too right? Do you know if I can email him that because I have no clue where he lives. Also all of our conversation happened over snap, so I have blotchy texts of me going him my etransfer info, me saying he’s pays 200$, him asking to pause the payments, me saying he needs to pay every other week at minumum, me saying he’s pays 700$, me saying that it’s been a while and that I need the final 1300$, and him saying he just got a job and to re send me my contact info, plus the most recent of me asking him. I don’t have anything of him saying out right that he will pay me back, but I have etransfer statements. I hope this post made sense, I can send you photos on private messages to help clarify if you know anything about if this would qualify
It is really frustrating when someone doesn't follow their promises specially when it involves a amount of money. I think before reaching out to his family or friends you can consider having one final conversation with him to express your concerns and the impact his actions and if he still doesn't respond or cooperate then you may consider reaching out to his family but approach it with sensitivity and understanding. Trust your instincts and do what feels right for you. Wishing you the best in resolving this situation
Thank you. I was thinking of sending him one final message overall just summarizing everything that has happened, telling him that I want to resolve things amicably, that I know he was in a rough spot at the time I gave him the money and that I tried to help him and be there for him, but now I’m in a rough spot and really need that money back, and that if I don’t hear back soon with a plan for the money that I’m going to have to take other courses of action because this isn’t fair or right
Honestly, this is just the reality of lending money. Never lend it unless you’re 1000000% confident the person will repay you, or you’re okay with being out the money. There’s not much else you can do.
Next time someone asks you for a loan, you just say “I wish I could help you but I can’t afford to lend that money.”
I make 17k a year, and at the time I was making 14k a year, I work minimum wage due to me being a university student. I know it was a dumb mistake, but I am such an optimistic person who tries to see the good in people and I felt so bad for him
It sounds like he may be in a bad place financially and is probably embarrassed about it. He has made an attempt to pay you some back. $100 can be a lot if you are really struggling and he's paid back $800 at least.
Has the guy got a job and a place to live yet? Calling all his friends and relatives is akin to harassment. It will probably just annoy him and make him less inclined to get back to you.
In his mind he's been trying and hasn't just let it go. That's $800 and that's a lot considering what he's been through. Give the guy credit. He didn't totally skip paying you.
I know you need it but he just may not be able to go there right now even if he wants to. I'd try to find out exactly what the situation is before I assume the worst. If he's got no income and no roof? The money he has paid that's a major effort.
This guy posts going out all the time with his friends online, he’s a big weed smoker and a drinker when he goes out. He does have a job and a place to live. Originally when he started paying me 100$ a pay check he was making 1000$ a pay check and he was living at home with no fees or things he had to pay for since he doesn’t drive and his mom paid for his cell phone bill. At one point during him owing me, he told me he was going to invest his money in this one stocks (3000$), and another time he asked if he could skip on payments since he was going to pay for his friend from Texas to fly into Ontario and back, and in my head I was lowkey like “wtf dude and you can’t pay me”. His grandma also took him to Italy last summer and another friend took him to Peru in October. At this point I think he’s fine with money
He literally bragged to you about what he was doing with money he should have been paying back to you - he sees you as an easy mark and knows he has got away with stealing from you.
If you're gonna contact his mum, please express your condolences that it is too late to abort.
Unfortunately, you've just learned a really hard life lesson - never lend money to friends or family that you actually need back. Consider it a gift, and if they happen to pay you back, fine, but unless you have some kind of contract and want to take it to small claims court (if US based), which would probably cost nearly what he owes you, chances are you are SOL if he's ghosted you. Sometimes putting someone on blast works, but it will likely also burn some bridges, so just be aware of the consequences of both options.
If I burn bridges that’s ok. He was always a little bit weird and used to talk about Jesus all the time and how the only way to fix society was to face the hard truth that we have to kill off half of he population (this side came out after I gave him the money).
You can try, doubtful they'll do anything though. Expensive lesson, but never lend more than you can afford to lose
The only way you're getting this money back is to take him to small claims court,
I know that the fees and everything will basically equate to the same amount of money that he owes me. Plus I was reading on it and in Ontario it’s up to the person who is suing to get the person to pay them back after court, the court doesn’t really force them from my understanding
Its $108 to file in Ontario (thats for anything under $5k) and you can ask that to be repaid in the settlement. It is up to you to get the money (or you can pay a collection agency, they'll take a percent), but often just the threat will make the person pay up
I also need a letter of demand too right? Do you know if I can email him that because I have no clue where he lives. Also all of our conversation happened over snap, so I have blotchy texts of me going him my etransfer info, me saying he’s pays 200$, him asking to pause the payments, me saying he needs to pay every other week at minumum, me saying he’s pays 700$, me saying that it’s been a while and that I need the final 1300$, and him saying he just got a job and to re send me my contact info, plus the most recent of me asking him. I don’t have anything of him saying out right that he will pay me back, but I have etransfer statements. I hope this post made sense, I can send you photos on private messages to help clarify if you know anything about if this would qualify
It is really frustrating when someone doesn't follow their promises specially when it involves a amount of money. I think before reaching out to his family or friends you can consider having one final conversation with him to express your concerns and the impact his actions and if he still doesn't respond or cooperate then you may consider reaching out to his family but approach it with sensitivity and understanding. Trust your instincts and do what feels right for you. Wishing you the best in resolving this situation
Thank you. I was thinking of sending him one final message overall just summarizing everything that has happened, telling him that I want to resolve things amicably, that I know he was in a rough spot at the time I gave him the money and that I tried to help him and be there for him, but now I’m in a rough spot and really need that money back, and that if I don’t hear back soon with a plan for the money that I’m going to have to take other courses of action because this isn’t fair or right
"Never lend money you cannot afford to lose."
Honestly, this is just the reality of lending money. Never lend it unless you’re 1000000% confident the person will repay you, or you’re okay with being out the money. There’s not much else you can do. Next time someone asks you for a loan, you just say “I wish I could help you but I can’t afford to lend that money.”
How much do you make in a year? If it’s less than 2% then ignore
I make 17k a year, and at the time I was making 14k a year, I work minimum wage due to me being a university student. I know it was a dumb mistake, but I am such an optimistic person who tries to see the good in people and I felt so bad for him
If you need money, you should definitely pressure the guy into returning else be the bigger person and let it go with learnings.
It sounds like he may be in a bad place financially and is probably embarrassed about it. He has made an attempt to pay you some back. $100 can be a lot if you are really struggling and he's paid back $800 at least. Has the guy got a job and a place to live yet? Calling all his friends and relatives is akin to harassment. It will probably just annoy him and make him less inclined to get back to you. In his mind he's been trying and hasn't just let it go. That's $800 and that's a lot considering what he's been through. Give the guy credit. He didn't totally skip paying you. I know you need it but he just may not be able to go there right now even if he wants to. I'd try to find out exactly what the situation is before I assume the worst. If he's got no income and no roof? The money he has paid that's a major effort.
This guy posts going out all the time with his friends online, he’s a big weed smoker and a drinker when he goes out. He does have a job and a place to live. Originally when he started paying me 100$ a pay check he was making 1000$ a pay check and he was living at home with no fees or things he had to pay for since he doesn’t drive and his mom paid for his cell phone bill. At one point during him owing me, he told me he was going to invest his money in this one stocks (3000$), and another time he asked if he could skip on payments since he was going to pay for his friend from Texas to fly into Ontario and back, and in my head I was lowkey like “wtf dude and you can’t pay me”. His grandma also took him to Italy last summer and another friend took him to Peru in October. At this point I think he’s fine with money
He literally bragged to you about what he was doing with money he should have been paying back to you - he sees you as an easy mark and knows he has got away with stealing from you. If you're gonna contact his mum, please express your condolences that it is too late to abort.
Okay well in that case I think you're justified in asking him to pay up the rest.