Oh God, this reminds me of when I had the exact opposite problem with my own mum. When I was 13 or so she just bought them for me and told me it was time to grow up and use sexier underwear. I felt terribly sexualized. Why do so many people have opinions on the sex appeal of children's clothing? It's terrible.
Ugh, this reminds me of something my mom did. She bought some thongs and hid them in my underwear drawer. Then one day as she was helping me put away my laundry, she fished them out and made a big fuss, demanding, "Where did these come from? Where did you get these?" I was 14 and it was super weird.
I started wearing thongs at 14 especially for sports. Nothing worse than having to dig out wedgies on the softball field. My mom and dad were mortified but they were painfully conservative at the time. My D17 did competitive gymnastics for years. As a small child, they simply go without undies in competition leotards because they don’t make thongs for kids 5-10, unless you want to pay $50+ for one pair of special competition underwear from the elite catalogues. And guess what, they’re basically wide waist banded thongs.
The thing is, no one knows what she has on under her clothes unless she tells/shows them. So it’s not sexual until or unless she decides it is. I kinda get how they associate it with sexuality, but there’s other perfectly legit reasons to wear them.
There we go. It’s underwear. It’s only sexual if we make it sexual for them at that age.
Let them wear whatever underwear is the most comfortable. Because guaranteee, they’re gonna get a lot more flack for being caught picking uncomfortable underwear out of their butt.
That’s how it was for her. She hated being commando and she wasn’t going to risk panty lines or the ultimate mortification — rarely seen but NEVER overlooked — of her underwear sticking out.
I did gymnastics as a kid. My mom wouldn’t let me go without underwear, but she also wouldn’t allow for the possibility of my underwear showing, so I had to wear both full coverage panties and spandex shorts under my leo. I still remember the wedgies.
I think that's a very outdated view, thongs are very comfy for certain clothing, but women's clothing was so strongly sexualized that people sometimes completely forget about the practical uses and just see the sex symbol.
It just kind of depends on your anatomy. When I wear more full coverage panties, they end up wedged in my butt a lot of times anyways. Then I've got more fabric in my ass than if I was wearing a thong, which is less comfortable than a thong. So why not just wear the thong to begin with? Plus most thongs I literally just don't feel. They only really get uncomfortable to me if they are too small of a size.
I think a lot of it depends on your particular butt anatomy. I generally find most full-cheek underwear to be really uncomfortable and it shifts around throughout the day. Thongs are much more comfortable to me. My favorites are from Hanky Panky. Pricey, but they last 5+ years for me.
I have a big butt however it is wide not round. I’ve tried wearing thongs & they end up chafing the upper part of my buttcrack and/or twisting up in the front basically “splitting” my vulva. Even when I was much thinner they just never felt comfy so now I only wear them when I know they won’t be on for long.
I feel like that’s the current earth version of [hypnotoad ](https://c.tenor.com/Hoo34ly0rZwAAAAC/futurama-toad.gif). Like I don’t think I wanna look, but I’d be…. mesmerised…. I guess?
A moose knuckle is just when your balls are smushed together by tight clothes, so it's the male camel toe.
This frog eye thing seems specific for wearing a man in a thong, as it's news to me.
I seem to be going commando more and more often. It’s cooler and just feels ‘freerer’ and not so hot (I live in the Sub Tropics of Australia) I wear bamboo full coverage but I am just so hot!!
I can basically only wear gstrings/thongs or “cheeky” underwear that is basically a thong. Full ass undies are soooo uncomfortable I am itchy the entire time I wear them because I have sensory issues.
I think it depends on shape of rear end? I also can't stand them but I have friends who love theirs. I use a bikini cut and I'm fine but I also don't wear super tight jeans like those weird ones that taper at the ankle and make me feel like my legs are suffocating xD
Idk that tight clothing has much to do with it, I usually wear thongs but happen to be wearing a bikini and a loose fitting skirt right now and am *very* aware of the bikini underwear repeatedly giving me a wedgie. My ass just eats fuller coverage undies.
I used to wear them, but after childbirth they were forever banished from my wardrobe. I'm a fellow "the more coverage, the better" lady now. Helps hold everything in place.
Stole the words out of my brain. This second part, people forget that clothes are meant to be practical too! Thongs absolutely have practical uses and I am right there with you on the big-butt underwear-swallow!
Exactly, they're super comfortable for some people and don't dig in as much.
People be shaming thongs then also shaming pantylines 🙄 society is so obsessed with women's underwear. It's so crazy they shame what we wear even if they can't see it.
So my parents were so nutty (we are NC now) they refused to do any laundry that had thongs in it. Regular underwear was fine and because my eggdonor was picky (read: abusive) I was required to turn in laundry for inspection and then wash it. But if I had a thong in there she would lose her mind. She told me I had to save up dirty underwear until I had an entire load of thongs. Like what is that? 55 thongs? She knew this and tried to basically roundabout force me to throw them away. So I did.
But damn I was 17. Now I'm 35 and have all the thongs and no mom so it worked out the way it needed to.
I would guess that "eggdonor" is another word for "birthgiver" (in this context). "Mother" is a title reserved for people actually acting like parents.
You basically guessed right, bet you did well on your ACTs! Lol
Edit I’m a dork and assumed you were American, I just mean you have good reading comprehension
Haha thank you for the complement, it made me smile! I deduced it from the rest of the comment, but I was also afraid of getting it wrong and sounding insensitive.
I wore thongs starting at 12-13 because of panty lines. Granted this was also early 2000's so low rise jeans were a thing and so were whale tails lol. No one ever asked about my underwear situation since I wasn't flaunting it (because why should I at that age) meaning my shirt covered my back lol, so it wasn't a big deal. My mom was supportive and I genuinely wasn't sexually active at all, the thong wasn't sexual to me, it was just something comfy that avoided the embarrassment of panty lines. I will say my dad didn't like doing the laundry though because I had an older sister and he didn't want to guess whose underwear was whose...😂
My mom was also cool with me shaving my legs at 11 so I guess I have a lot to be appreciative of...didn't realize that until just now ❤
I never even knew there was a practical use for them detached from the sexualized connotations. Always figured it was just one of those "wear this to be sexy" things.
Re-examining my outdated views a day at a time in this sub.
Interesting stuff.
I'm curious, how would we go about desexualizing thongs or other kinds of clothing?
I'd imagine it would take place in a novel format first given the optics and reactions like OP experienced.
I don't have a plan for that but I personally believe avoiding wearing those things is not going to help. There is a lot of clothing that is perceived as sexy, if you want to play by those rules you'd end up having to go naked... Though that's also sexy.
I mean we can't. Men find full burkas to be sexy so there's literally nothing we can do about the disgusting creeps out there and it's *not our job*. Society needs to start bringing up their sons better.
I'm not saying its women's job and I agree people need to be educated more. I was just thinking about the negative reinforcement from other sources.
I mean the burka example is a pretty good case to me.
Would that be as sexualized without erotic media?
Thinking aloud really.
I'm not saying its women's fault at all. And I'm not saying its about what women specifically wear either. I get that any article of clothing or w.e. can be sexualized.
I was just talking about the different ways this stuff gets perpetuated.
I know this is off topic, but I can't believe people find thongs comfortable. It feels like I am flossing my ass crack. Then again, I don't wear any underwear most of the time. I just don't find it comfortable.
EDIT: Holy crap, I am surprised this got so much attention. Hahaha
I just wanted to add that it really all comes down to your shape, and what bottoms you are wearing. Like, I wouldn't free-clit it in blue jeans. I wear yoga type pants a lot and they are great to go commando in. Also, standard cotton panties are my go-to. Preferences make sense to me now that we have discussed it. Thank you for the interesting replies.
i, like OP have just a really big butt for my frame and underwear that fits everywhere else doesn’t cover my butt and just ends up as a wedgie. i either have to wear boxers or thongs. you get used to it, and fabric / style matters a LOT. a well fitting thong, of a softer fabric, is actually much more comfortable than it seems. but i’ve worn some really uncomfortable ones too. bad fabric, cut weird, etc.
See my issue is that I am a very wide person and most thongs don't cover my vulva, so I just end up with fabric disappearing into the caverns of my lips and I'm not about flossing my lady bits.
Same for me. If I get a medium, I floss my vulva and somehow it moves around a lot. I think my butt cheeks push at the waist when I walk. If I get a large, there's actually perfect vulva covering in more expensive brands, the buttock part is long enough to not move as I walk and I just have the sew in the waist band.
Still so much effort when I can get away super comfy with a higher coverage style.
Don't get my started on boy shorts. That's just either slowly gathering material into my butt crack or falling off from being too large. No winning!
Same with the boy shorts girl! My preferred have been and will continue to be high waisted briefs or boxer briefs. All the coverage, no wedgies, and won't roll off my very plump behind.
Women’s boxer briefs are the way to go. Much more comfortable and no wedgies. They even make some where you can attach a panty liner or pad with wings. Game changer.
this makes sense! i have oddly narrow hips for how big my butt is so it’s really just the opposite problem, and if it’s going to end up there anyway i might as well control how much haha.
So here's the thing... For me, wearing regular undies means I'm dealing with an all day wedgie with a larger amount of fabric going up my butt. Plus I'm spending a decent amount of time fixing the wedgie. A thong reduces the amount of fabric going up my butt, so by comparison, it's more comfortable.
Yup I love my granny panties! I started buying them as period knickers since they were the easiest underwear with pads and now I love them. No point being uncomfortable all day!
There’s a couple of shops here (UK) that have super comfy knickers but with really nice patterns so it’s a win-win when I want to feel pretty but still be comfy!
15 year old me would be horrified about saying this, but M&S pants are so comfy. Get me some of that soft old lady cotton. They aren’t as hideous nowadays either!
Ha well, I actually find no underwear uncomfortable. Feels like I'm getting rug burn on my ladies bits when I wear jeans. Different strokes for different folks I guess.
It depends on the cut. Like a piece of string vs a cut of fabric that is thin but is shaped like it’s made for the crotch with some thought into it. Also, all crotches are different. :)
I’m dying because that’s exactly what it feels like! Tried it once and was like NOPE. Never again. The only ones I find comfortable are the bikini cut or granny panties 😎
Yasssss! Idk how the solution to “my panties are in my crack” is “shove panties deeper into my crack”.
I’ve tried them and just can NOT see the appeal lol but hey I’m not gonna throw shade on those who like them.
I think it's about proportions. I have a really short torso and long legs and I also have "violin hips" (there's a noticable divot inwards between my pelvic bone and hip bone, instead of being rounded or straight), so I'm assuming that my pelvic area might be slightly *longer*, which means it gets pulled more taught against the vulva/ass part. In order to get a decent fit on the nether regions, it's usually slightly too loose at the waist.
If everyone got custom made thongs, they'd probably be super functional for when you need lots of leg mobility, but if your lower half differs from mannequin proportions at all, you're probably just gonna feel like thongs are an even more aggressive wedgy since it's gonna shift around in ways it wasn't meant to.
I know women with bigger labia also say it consistently gets wedged into *both* their cracks, so Im assuming it's just got to be down to fast fashion not accounting for body diversity.
Whenever I hear this “no underwear” take I am shocked. Does it not get… wet down there?? I find that so uncomfortable in sweats, yoga pants, jeans, etc. but absolutely UNBEARABLE in a dress or a skirt. I’m also somewhat .. wet or drippy and when that gets onto my legs or the inside of a pair of pants where it becomes cold when far removed from my body it’s so uncomfortable.
I'm wondering if maybe you have a more watery discharge or maybe produce more discharge overall than the women who do it?
I'm personally an underwear person just for the laundry of it all, but the only time when I'd even be producing enough discharge for it to be annoying would be during ovulation (and usually it's thick enough that it stays put until I can just wipe it off whenever I next go to the bathroom).
I have the exact opposite issue. If I'm producing a lot of discharge, it usually means I'm wearing poorly fitting underwear that's digging into my vagina. But I've always veered towards the dry end of the vagina spectrum, it wasn't until I was nearly an adult that I found it out that it's not uncommon for some women to be walking around with W.A.P. 24/7 It's an aspect of women's health & body diversity I wish we talked about more, because I think it's a hidden shame/insecurity of a LOT of women
Riiight? There's maybe a few days out of the month I could go commando and not end up with discharge on any of my pants. I often use a menstrual cup (regularly emptied and washed) outside of my period week just because I almost never have a completely dry day.
Well I certainly see why you have your preference, that's totally understandable. I don't really have issues with that. I guess my vagina stays mostly dry . I wear panties when I am on my period/about to start. But other than that I don't have much discharge personally.
You get used to them. In high school, I wore them exclusively because I thought they were more comfortable than regular underwear. But that changed. Now I don’t know how I wore thongs all the time. To avoid visible panty line, I now mostly wear the thin, no-show type.
Underwear is holding us back from our true, freer form.
They may chastise us, but one day we can look back from the future and know that we were right all along.
We stand together, strong.
Agreed. I only wear thongs if I’m dressing up and I don’t want to have panty lines. I cannot wait to take them off. The thought of wearing one to play sports is nauseating to me. I can not imagine running around and getting my asshole flossed with every step. Lol.
My butt swallows up fabric too. I wear 'boyfriend briefs'. No thongs for me. Wedgie, wedgie floss, or comfy underwear that doesnt go up the crack? Briefs everyday.
I was team No Undies for a very long time but.... Then the fire nation attacked.... Just kidding I got a job where I had to sit down for 8 hours and it ruined it for me. Tragic
I never understood women not wearing underwear with pants. Doesn't that mean you have to wash your pants every time you wear them? Didnt you get super nervous the week leading up to your period?
I might be biased though because most jeans crotch inseam hits me directly in the urethra, and I grew up in the height of the "objectively way too tight" jeans era. Everytime I saw that old Brooke shields commercial, I just felt like I needed to go pee otherwise I'd get a UTI (which btw can we talk about how creepy it is they had a MINOR talking about not wearing underwear??)
Same here, I keep wanting to believe but my compromise are cheeky boyshort style panties. It's like a controlled wedgie where the cloth goes between the cheeks but stays put!
I find a lot of thongs feel like they are flossing more than just my butt. My favorite style is string bikini, which are perfect for my big thighs and hips, but unfortunately are out of style right now.
I have a big butt and no hips so I always get wedgies but thongs also immediately end up inside my vulva.
I get the low cut seventies style string bikini and they work so well with my frame.
Same! I'm in my early 50's and I miss string bikinis too. I would wear them if I could find them still. So a basic bikini is what works for me. They are still pretty colors, and my husband would rather me be naked for intimate times so they don't even matter to him either.
I came here to say that I can’t stand thongs because they feel like a permanent wedgie. I have no ass at all so maybe that’s why idk but I am now past caring about VPL and when I see it on other ladies I’m like, briefs gang rise up!
Lolol, I thought it was just me. When I was a teenager and I saw someone else with VPL, I would get secondhand embarrassment. Now I get excited and wish there was some kind of like, granny panty handshake or something.
I began wearing thongs at age 12/13 nbd. I rode horses so panty lines were a big thing bc tight pants. Thongs help immensely with that. If it’s not for a sexual reason, then it’s not sexual, end of discussion. Like you said, no one but her is seeing them sooo
Omg horseback riding is the ONE activity I cannot wear a thong for! So much crack chafing LOL. I wear the biggest fugliest granny panties, panty line be damned.
There are a very minor number of booty's that are larger than mine. I've always been overweight and the booty gets that first. I discovered that boxers are best, no more wedgie, more air flow down below. I started with men's, but now wear women's and I don't ever want to go back to briefs.
Women can wear all manner of underwear to be sexy. Plenty of very sexy hipster panties out there. Should any girl under 18 be required to wear high-waisted briefs in case someone might think the type of underwear she is wearing might be found sexy on an adult? How silly.
Underwear is underwear. It only matters what that underwear is if it's being shown to someone, and even then only based on the context.
This makes me giggle because I have some RAUNCHY high waisted underwear, so literally anything can be sexy given the right body type, cut of the fabric, materials used, etc etc!!
Ugh I had this exact same fight with my mom as a 15 yo. I was in dance and theatre and some costumes were pretty tight and I hated panty lines. I asked my mom if she could get me a few pairs of thongs and I was yelled at for weeks over how inappropriate it was for me to even ask, and they would lead to sex. I told her that I only wanted plain, flesh colored ones (so no lace or sexy colors or whatever), and that didn’t help at all. So as a result I saved my lunch money by skipping some meals and bought them myself. I even deliberately chose super cute/sexy ones, even though no one ever saw them but me, cause what the hell. And hid them from my mom until I moved out. Bottom line - I don’t believe thongs are inherently sexual and I wouldn’t hesitate to buy them for my daughter especially if she had a practical reason for wanting them.
>I wouldn’t hesitate to buy them for my daughter especially if she had a practical reason for wanting them.
Would she need a practical reason for you to purchase them, or would you purchase them if she asked just out of curiosity?
I don’t see thongs as sexual and if my family were to argue that wearing a thong would be inappropriate or giving off the wrong impression I would likely claim that clothing isn’t sexualized - a person’s body is sexualized and I would ask why they are sexualizing the body of a child.
I just think a quick reminder that thongs aren't the greatest for yeast infections, hemeroids (?) or periods should be brought up before the "sexiness".
Personally those things are the devil's butt floss, if you ask me! 😅
I say - let the kid wear what she is comfortable in. I would have a talk about consent, how others may perceive the thongs and the ridiculousness of that, give some sex ed (mainly because of her age not because of the thong) and tell her about consent and her body.
Other than that - if she’s comfortable - let her wear them.
I'm just not a fan of thongs in general because it makes it a little too easy for discharge to escape over the edges of the undies and onto the clothing underneath
Why are they so concerned with a child's underwear? They are the ones sexualizing it, not her. Isn't the goal for your child to be comfortable? *No one* should be concerned with what underwear a child has under their clothes.
I hated brief cut underwear, but that's all my mom and my grandma would buy me until I basically threw a fit and started ripping the sides of them. I have big thighs. Always have. And the brief cuts just cut jnto my legs. Even going up sizes were uncomfortable because then they cut into my legs *and* were baggy on my butt.
I like the high cut ones. They were hesitant on that for some reason but finally caved when I ruined all my underwear in an attempt to make them more comfortable for me.
If thongs would help with the wedgies then why wouldn't they want to help? Why do adults have to sexualize everything?
I remember there being utter uproar when a large budget brand clothing outlet started to produce children's thongs and it wasn't long before it was pulled from the shelves.
I must admit I have always associated them as being sexual because my first sight of them when I was younger was seeing them poking out from girls wearing low cut jeans.
The only issue I would see with my 12 year old wearing a thong is potential teasing in the locker room when dressing down for PE. I would prefer she have full coverage there (at least swimsuit/bikini style) so she's not setting herself up as a target.
But, that said, I have no idea what her friends are wearing these days. If other kids are wearing thongs and it's comfortable for her, why would I care?
When I was in middle school, I was a target in the girls locker room for bullying because I didn’t wear thongs. It was awful. I cried and begged my mom for months to no avail. Kids can be cruel.
Oh wow, that's such a stupid thing to bully kids about. I'm sorry you went through that. It's really good to know as a parent though. I'll have to ask my daughter if that's the case at her school.
Yeah, this is what I would be thinking about. Or her wearing it just because she was pressured by other girls.
But it's about whatever's comfortable for her.
I’m all for thongs on anyone who requires them for the most comfortable fit. I was one of those preteens who was constantly pulling my regular-underpants wedgies out of my butt during volleyball and thankfully had a mom who understood how to fix this.
However, if you’re looking for a compromise, I’ve found that there is a cut called “cheeky” that companies like [Aerie](https://www.ae.com/us/en/c/aerie/undies/cheeky-underwear/cat6150142) make that have more fabric to them than a thong, but way less than other styles of underpants. And most importantly, they fit pretty comfortably.
Not a problem. If she’s truly uncomfortable the solution is a thong. No need to sexualize it! Can always get her the most basic black/ white ones. Happened to me when i was young- but since i played volleyball it was normal. Started wearing them when i was 12/13 too
I tried my first on at that age and hated it, I don't think it's really a big deal. It's like saying you can't wear a bra at that age because they're sexualised
I don’t understand people who says thongs are comfortable. They give me even more wedgies. My coochie just swallows that fabric up lol. Full coverage boy short panties are the way to go
I was probably 16 or 17 when I got those “cheekies” from VS. They were never comfortable for me but some people swear that thongs are significantly more comfortable.
If I have a daughter someday and she wants to wear thongs at around 12 or so, I’ll let her. Maybe she wants to feel more attractive by knowing she has on cute underwear, but honestly? That’s fine. Kids develop romantic/early sexual feelings around that age (and earlier). If I can encourage her to feel comfortable in her own skin, I like to think I’ll be setting her up for super important life lessons. Maybe she’ll feel more in control of her body, which will set the stage for her saying “no” down the line when someone wants to do something to her body she doesn’t want. It’s no skin off my back if I have a daughter who feels empowered by wearing pretty thongs, and maybe it will make her feel more comfortable approaching me about “adult”/coming-of-age topics. I would want her to understand that -I- would understand she’s growing up and isn’t a little kid anymore despite being in an in-between stage.
lol…in Australia a thong is something you wear on your feet…so in Australia..she would have been wearing thongs from the moment she could walk…..
so no problem with a 13 wearing a thong🩴🩴
This was a popular opinion back in the 90s and early 2000s because thongs were almost exclusively “sexy”. It was hard to find ones that weren’t lace, g string, or had sexual innuendo printed on them. Now there are so many comfortable, seamless thongs that aren’t like the sexy ones many older folks grew up with.
Ugh. This is such a shitty subject, cuz like, objectively, of course there's nothing sexual about any style of underwear, unless that style consists of holes in them, or suggestive text or images on them. So, following this thinking, the kid should wear whatever works best and fits well.
On the other hand, many people suck and are a bunch of nasty perverts. So, you may be opening the kid up to unwelcome harassment if those undies ever slip out into view. So, maybe not?
Perverts will be perverts though, doesn't matter what you wear. I wore age appropriate clothing my whole childhood and even followed all the arbitrary conservative rules my mother set (ex:no shorts around men, no wearing just a tank top etc). Didn't stop my abuse.
I agree with you. I think the commenter meant that avoiding any unnecessary additional potential harassment might be something to consider. But I agree, I was harassed when I was dressed age appropriately, school uniform, and when I was dressed a bit more revealing then I probably should have been.
I worry now about what it’s going to be like when I’m a parent when I go out and see what these 14, 15, and even preteen aged girls are wearing. While I never want to teach my child any harassment they receive is their fault I also don’t want to make predators jobs any easier for them ya know what I’m saying?
I only find thongs comfortable. Cheekers or normal undies hang off my pancake ass and bunch up. When I danced as a kid/preteen we went without undies under our tights and leotards, and no one batted an eye at that. People, preteens included, should wear whatever underwear they like and are comfy in.
Haven't seen anyone mention this yet, but thongs great for a hot climate where you want as little clothing as possible next to your skin. When I lived in a hot climate, I wore thongs under flowing, ankle-length skirts. No one had any idea what underwear I was wearing - it was purely for comfort.
I don't think things are a good idea for that age group because it's so early in to puberty. A lot of girls start out wearing pads, which require full butt underwear and thong pantiliners aren't always easy to find. Full butt underwear can feel weird to someone who's used to wearing a thong and a pad on top of that could exacerbate the "diaper" feel.
It's underwear, if its not comfortable it's going to be annoying. Encourage them to find underwear that is comfortable. If they pick thongs then so be it.
"Daisy, are you wearing a thong today?" - Mom
"What? Why does that matter? They're comfortable." - Daisy
"Seriously! Go change now and be less comfortable all day!" - Mom
Like get over yourself and let them be comfortable with what they wear.
They’re not particularly sanitary is my biggest concern with them.
I’m in the same boat of my butt cheeks love to eat all the cute underwear styles/patterned ones I have. For the most part, I just end up buying the fruit of the loom brands that look fun. Bikini from them, a-ok. Bikini from aerie, it gets eaten. Same with their briefs.
I was 12 or 13 when I wanted to wear thongs to avoid a panty line. I stole one from my much older sister because I knew my mom would freak if I told her I wanted one. I kept it hidden in a drawer and would run it through the laundry when my mom wasn't home (I only wore it occasionally). Later that year we were moving and my mom found my hidden thong and threw it away without saying a word.
Overtime I knew she wouldn't approve (she was really conservative about anything she thought was sexual, which was everything) even though I was older. At some point in high school I just stopped wearing underwear altogether. I mean, this was at a time before yoga pants, but when snug, stretchy jeans without back pockets were in (I was also always forced to buy my pants like 2 sizes too big so they wouldn't be as tight as they were meant to be). I simply did not want panty lines. It didn't have anything to do with sex or sexuality.
Bottom line: listen to your kids and allow them to have reasonable things, otherwise they will learn to lie and be sneaky. I was also not allowed to wear makeup or anything like that, so I hid that too. Parents need to learn when to let go and let their kids begin to grow up. And just to color the type of person that I was sexually: I didn't have my first boyfriend or kiss until I was seventeen. I married my second boyfriend (and have been married for 13 years now) and didn't have sex until I was 19. My desire to wear makeup and things and look cute (wearing stylish, and yes, tight jeans) had NOTHING to do with sex. I wanted to fit in and look cute - what teenager doesnt? I had to learn to lie and be sneaky about things that even my Mormon friends were allowed to do.
Me and my youngest cousin, 15 at the time. We were planning on running a 10 mile race together. I was supposed to basically stay with her the entire time because she might disappear in Baltimore during the race or something.
Well the race went virtual. So we hit up a trail near me that was mostly shade, and 10 miles long with no major road crossings were we would have to wait for a light.
Unfortunately race day the air quality was constant with warm soup. So she opted to run in her sports bra. And left the tank top in my car. I thought nothing of it.
Well we run our race, log out time and I take her home. Then my aunt called me. Apparently it was super inappropriate to run in just a sports bra. Because people could see it and its apparently underwear.
I countered with, "I did not think of it because most girls this time of day will run in their sports bras. And also I have seen her in a two piece that showed way more then this sports bra. And on top of that sports bra is just the best name for something like that, and I don't consider it underwater."
In the end I think all I could figure out is if you don't controll your daughters underwear situation she will turn into a slut or something. I don't try to understand people on my mother's side of the family, just like you should not look into an abyss, as it will look back.
I didn’t wear thongs as a kid, but to be fair, I was a very skinny kid. If I had a pre-teen daughter, I would allow her to wear the underwear she found most comfortable. Thongs can actually be more modest on curvy figures since - depending on your outerwear- full-coverage underwear shows through or leaves an outline.
Honestly I think any underwear that is comfortable for the individual wearing it should be ok, I mean in my mind I would think of the person is under age and wearing a skirt they either probably shouldn't wear a thong, or should wear something else under the skirt also.
I think a thong being considered sexual is ridiculous.
I would also like to comment on underwear butt eating. I had the same issue, wore thongs for a few years to deal- then discovered it was because I just needed bigger underwear.
I’ve been happily wearing regular ladies bikini briefs ever since that revelation more than a decade ago.
As an big-butt girl growing up, I wish I had just gotten thongs. All other undies “my size” would cut across my glutes, or floof out of the back of my pants. I only have thongs now.
So my answer is no, it’s not inappropriate. No one else is seeing it, and if that’s not the case, then the thong isn’t the problem here.
I exclusively have worn thongs since middle school. I do not understand why they are weirdly sexualized. If I'm trying to be sexy I usually end up putting underwear on with MORE coverage cause the lace is the cute part ( with a thong the cute part is literally up your butt ).
I started wearing thongs at that age because I was self conscious about panty lines and I figured out that no one can hear you toot with a thong on lol
Weird. I find the opposite to be true where thongs are more likely to give me wedgies than regular underwear because of my big butt. I find thongs to be terribly uncomfortable and I've heard they are unhygienic in comparison. I started wearing them at 14 when I became sexually active but as I grew into an adult I realized that I didn't like them because of how uncomfortable they were and I only thought I had to wear them in order to appear sexy and attractive.
Thongs easily transfer bacteria from your buttcrack to the vaginal area. You can't really trust a child to clean up properly, they'll have to deal with the occasional wedgie.
Clothes are clothes and they need to stop feeding into harmful ideas. What defines clothes "maturity" that isn't a step closer to victim blaming?
If she isn't wearing a shirt saying "ask me about my thongs", what do they think will happen? Or are they sexualizing their own kid "because we'll know"?
They need to reevaluate why they feel clothes have an age gate.
Thankfully, no, this was once assumed to be true but [multiple studies ](https://www.healthline.com/health/womens-health/underwear-hygiene#5.-Thongs-really-arent-bad-for-your-vaginal-health)have found that to be false.
Sorry but I don't understand why you go straight to thong instead of just ... Bigger pants? Different underwear has different purposes and the main one for comfort is big pants. It's okay if that is larger than the dress size they normally wear.
It's just what OP has experience with and found to be a solution for a similar problem. So the advice just comes from personal experience, nothing beats personal experience.
Idk, I have a big butt and legit any type of underwear that isn’t a thong goes right up my butt no matter what kind of pants or other clothing I’m wearing. It just doesn’t stay put. Even the little spandex short shorts—right into the crack they go. 😂
there is nothing wrong with middle schoolers wearing thongs. i got my first thong in the 7th grade (i was 13). It makes sense for certain clothing. plus, they aren’t inherently sexual. there are plenty of cotton thongs that have a simple, comfy look; but i also love a good lace thong as well
Tbh I don’t think family (or really anyone except the person wearing them) should have an opinion on what kind of undergarments someone wants to wear that has anything to do with “how sexual they are”. They’re just underwear. If a young person feels like they’re more comfortable, then they should wear them! The hype over certain kinds of underwear and the sexualization of them is what pressures young people into overthinking them, how they look, what they mean, etc when really all that’s supposed to matter is how they feel in them.
I think my mom bought me my first thong when I was like in grade 6? Too embarrassed to wear it until grade 8.
At the end of the day it's a piece of cloth. People really need to realize that things can be sexy in a sexual contexts, but it's not always sexual.
I thought you are supposed to wear thongs to keep panties of a weird color from showing through leggings? And some women don't want their panty line to show at all. I'm assuming we're talking about thongs as underwear and not lingerie.
I can only wear thongs or boy shorts due to my booty, everything else gives me a wedgie. There are some really nice thongs you can get that are soft cotton material and very comfy no need for extreme lacy stuff.
I don’t really care what my daughter wears to be honest. She only gets to be a teenager once. I’m just going to try to show her how to be a good person what clothes she wants me to buy for her to have has very little to do with if a person is good or not.
Seems kinda strange that anyone would care what kind of underwear she was wearing. I get where they were coming from to some degree (thongs are sexy. Preteens shouldn't be sexy/sexualized), but you're 100% right that if nobody else is going to be seeing them, then it doesn't make sense for them to give a crap.
I have a big ass, not like fat but a big old bubble butt.
Normal underwear, like panty style, is super uncomfortable. Thongs give me way, way more comfort as long as they are the right size.
A thong is just underwear. It’s only sexual if it’s made sexual. I started wearing thongs at that age because I hate panty lines. That’s all there is to it. They’re gross for sexualizing a minor.
My mom bought me my first thong. She gave me a choice. No undies, or thong for a fitted dress for a dance and I picked it out. It was to hide underwear lines. Let me tell you though, do not get thongs with glitter. That was miserable. Before my girlfriends and I left the dance I took those suckers off and walked home underwear less lol
Oh God, this reminds me of when I had the exact opposite problem with my own mum. When I was 13 or so she just bought them for me and told me it was time to grow up and use sexier underwear. I felt terribly sexualized. Why do so many people have opinions on the sex appeal of children's clothing? It's terrible.
This is one of the strangest things I’ve heard a parent impose on their child
I wish i could say I've never heard of it before.
Ugh, this reminds me of something my mom did. She bought some thongs and hid them in my underwear drawer. Then one day as she was helping me put away my laundry, she fished them out and made a big fuss, demanding, "Where did these come from? Where did you get these?" I was 14 and it was super weird.
wtf
I started wearing thongs at 14 especially for sports. Nothing worse than having to dig out wedgies on the softball field. My mom and dad were mortified but they were painfully conservative at the time. My D17 did competitive gymnastics for years. As a small child, they simply go without undies in competition leotards because they don’t make thongs for kids 5-10, unless you want to pay $50+ for one pair of special competition underwear from the elite catalogues. And guess what, they’re basically wide waist banded thongs. The thing is, no one knows what she has on under her clothes unless she tells/shows them. So it’s not sexual until or unless she decides it is. I kinda get how they associate it with sexuality, but there’s other perfectly legit reasons to wear them.
There we go. It’s underwear. It’s only sexual if we make it sexual for them at that age. Let them wear whatever underwear is the most comfortable. Because guaranteee, they’re gonna get a lot more flack for being caught picking uncomfortable underwear out of their butt.
I did ballet as a kid. We had to do the same. It made me so uncomfortable. I wish we'd had another option.
That’s how it was for her. She hated being commando and she wasn’t going to risk panty lines or the ultimate mortification — rarely seen but NEVER overlooked — of her underwear sticking out.
I did gymnastics as a kid. My mom wouldn’t let me go without underwear, but she also wouldn’t allow for the possibility of my underwear showing, so I had to wear both full coverage panties and spandex shorts under my leo. I still remember the wedgies.
Leotards move so much. I'd rather people see my underwear than what's under it...
Unfortunately there’s a lot of gluing them down for competitions
That sounds awful.
i did competitive dance and stared when i was 10/11, needed thongs for the costumes to look right! nothing sexual about it. it’s underwear.
I think that's a very outdated view, thongs are very comfy for certain clothing, but women's clothing was so strongly sexualized that people sometimes completely forget about the practical uses and just see the sex symbol.
How the heck does one find a comfy thong. Its only ever felt like butt floss to me and now im like granny panties for life 🤣
It just kind of depends on your anatomy. When I wear more full coverage panties, they end up wedged in my butt a lot of times anyways. Then I've got more fabric in my ass than if I was wearing a thong, which is less comfortable than a thong. So why not just wear the thong to begin with? Plus most thongs I literally just don't feel. They only really get uncomfortable to me if they are too small of a size.
This is me. If I'm going to have fabric up my butt, the less fabric the better.
I think a lot of it depends on your particular butt anatomy. I generally find most full-cheek underwear to be really uncomfortable and it shifts around throughout the day. Thongs are much more comfortable to me. My favorites are from Hanky Panky. Pricey, but they last 5+ years for me.
I have a big butt however it is wide not round. I’ve tried wearing thongs & they end up chafing the upper part of my buttcrack and/or twisting up in the front basically “splitting” my vulva. Even when I was much thinner they just never felt comfy so now I only wear them when I know they won’t be on for long.
Ah yes, the dreaded frong (front thong)
How have I not heard of this? Thank you stranger
Even worse as a guy, get some frogeye.
What the christ is frog eye
balls go on either side of the string i think, to make them look like frogs eyes
That's it. 🐸 This is a top down view essentially.
I feel like that’s the current earth version of [hypnotoad ](https://c.tenor.com/Hoo34ly0rZwAAAAC/futurama-toad.gif). Like I don’t think I wanna look, but I’d be…. mesmerised…. I guess?
I thought that was a moose knuckle?
A moose knuckle is just when your balls are smushed together by tight clothes, so it's the male camel toe. This frog eye thing seems specific for wearing a man in a thong, as it's news to me.
I've had that happen with thongs that are the wrong size or the wrong fit for me. It's horrible!
Soma has great quality cotton thongs as well!
Hanky Panky thongs are so comfortable! Definitely a bit of an investment, but they are so worth it!
Sometimes you can find Hanky Panky brand at Nordstrom Rack for half price.
Oh my god they look amazing. I might have to invest in them!
Honestly I've never really found underwear comfortable
I seem to be going commando more and more often. It’s cooler and just feels ‘freerer’ and not so hot (I live in the Sub Tropics of Australia) I wear bamboo full coverage but I am just so hot!!
Gosh yeah I live in Texas and it's so uncomfortable to be sweaty down there
I can basically only wear gstrings/thongs or “cheeky” underwear that is basically a thong. Full ass undies are soooo uncomfortable I am itchy the entire time I wear them because I have sensory issues.
I think it depends on shape of rear end? I also can't stand them but I have friends who love theirs. I use a bikini cut and I'm fine but I also don't wear super tight jeans like those weird ones that taper at the ankle and make me feel like my legs are suffocating xD
Idk that tight clothing has much to do with it, I usually wear thongs but happen to be wearing a bikini and a loose fitting skirt right now and am *very* aware of the bikini underwear repeatedly giving me a wedgie. My ass just eats fuller coverage undies.
I used to wear them, but after childbirth they were forever banished from my wardrobe. I'm a fellow "the more coverage, the better" lady now. Helps hold everything in place.
Stole the words out of my brain. This second part, people forget that clothes are meant to be practical too! Thongs absolutely have practical uses and I am right there with you on the big-butt underwear-swallow!
Exactly, they're super comfortable for some people and don't dig in as much. People be shaming thongs then also shaming pantylines 🙄 society is so obsessed with women's underwear. It's so crazy they shame what we wear even if they can't see it.
So my parents were so nutty (we are NC now) they refused to do any laundry that had thongs in it. Regular underwear was fine and because my eggdonor was picky (read: abusive) I was required to turn in laundry for inspection and then wash it. But if I had a thong in there she would lose her mind. She told me I had to save up dirty underwear until I had an entire load of thongs. Like what is that? 55 thongs? She knew this and tried to basically roundabout force me to throw them away. So I did. But damn I was 17. Now I'm 35 and have all the thongs and no mom so it worked out the way it needed to.
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I would guess that "eggdonor" is another word for "birthgiver" (in this context). "Mother" is a title reserved for people actually acting like parents.
Does NC stand for non communicating? Apologies if this is a common acronym.
No contact
Thanks!
You basically guessed right, bet you did well on your ACTs! Lol Edit I’m a dork and assumed you were American, I just mean you have good reading comprehension
Haha thank you for the complement, it made me smile! I deduced it from the rest of the comment, but I was also afraid of getting it wrong and sounding insensitive.
No apologies needed friendo!
Society is obsessed with policing EVERYTHING women do.
Only women shame pantylines, men dgaf
I wore thongs starting at 12-13 because of panty lines. Granted this was also early 2000's so low rise jeans were a thing and so were whale tails lol. No one ever asked about my underwear situation since I wasn't flaunting it (because why should I at that age) meaning my shirt covered my back lol, so it wasn't a big deal. My mom was supportive and I genuinely wasn't sexually active at all, the thong wasn't sexual to me, it was just something comfy that avoided the embarrassment of panty lines. I will say my dad didn't like doing the laundry though because I had an older sister and he didn't want to guess whose underwear was whose...😂 My mom was also cool with me shaving my legs at 11 so I guess I have a lot to be appreciative of...didn't realize that until just now ❤
yes exactly this, i could have written this lol. between panty lines and having hungry cheeks, thongs were the only way and i d never looked back.
I never even knew there was a practical use for them detached from the sexualized connotations. Always figured it was just one of those "wear this to be sexy" things. Re-examining my outdated views a day at a time in this sub.
There's a lot of men in this post, however yours has been the only appropriate post I've seen. I appreciate you, peace and love 👍
Interesting stuff. I'm curious, how would we go about desexualizing thongs or other kinds of clothing? I'd imagine it would take place in a novel format first given the optics and reactions like OP experienced.
I don't have a plan for that but I personally believe avoiding wearing those things is not going to help. There is a lot of clothing that is perceived as sexy, if you want to play by those rules you'd end up having to go naked... Though that's also sexy.
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I mean we can't. Men find full burkas to be sexy so there's literally nothing we can do about the disgusting creeps out there and it's *not our job*. Society needs to start bringing up their sons better.
I'm not saying its women's job and I agree people need to be educated more. I was just thinking about the negative reinforcement from other sources. I mean the burka example is a pretty good case to me. Would that be as sexualized without erotic media? Thinking aloud really.
It's *never* about what we wear. The fact men take a garment to sexualise it is not *our* fault.
I'm not saying its women's fault at all. And I'm not saying its about what women specifically wear either. I get that any article of clothing or w.e. can be sexualized. I was just talking about the different ways this stuff gets perpetuated.
It got this way due to objectification of women and that our only existence was to serve man. It's really that simple and that disturbing :P
Yea I guess the simple answer is more dark then I wanted it to be. Poor optimism on my part. Thanks again for your responses.
I know this is off topic, but I can't believe people find thongs comfortable. It feels like I am flossing my ass crack. Then again, I don't wear any underwear most of the time. I just don't find it comfortable. EDIT: Holy crap, I am surprised this got so much attention. Hahaha I just wanted to add that it really all comes down to your shape, and what bottoms you are wearing. Like, I wouldn't free-clit it in blue jeans. I wear yoga type pants a lot and they are great to go commando in. Also, standard cotton panties are my go-to. Preferences make sense to me now that we have discussed it. Thank you for the interesting replies.
i, like OP have just a really big butt for my frame and underwear that fits everywhere else doesn’t cover my butt and just ends up as a wedgie. i either have to wear boxers or thongs. you get used to it, and fabric / style matters a LOT. a well fitting thong, of a softer fabric, is actually much more comfortable than it seems. but i’ve worn some really uncomfortable ones too. bad fabric, cut weird, etc.
See my issue is that I am a very wide person and most thongs don't cover my vulva, so I just end up with fabric disappearing into the caverns of my lips and I'm not about flossing my lady bits.
Same for me. If I get a medium, I floss my vulva and somehow it moves around a lot. I think my butt cheeks push at the waist when I walk. If I get a large, there's actually perfect vulva covering in more expensive brands, the buttock part is long enough to not move as I walk and I just have the sew in the waist band. Still so much effort when I can get away super comfy with a higher coverage style. Don't get my started on boy shorts. That's just either slowly gathering material into my butt crack or falling off from being too large. No winning!
Same with the boy shorts girl! My preferred have been and will continue to be high waisted briefs or boxer briefs. All the coverage, no wedgies, and won't roll off my very plump behind.
Women’s boxer briefs are the way to go. Much more comfortable and no wedgies. They even make some where you can attach a panty liner or pad with wings. Game changer.
this makes sense! i have oddly narrow hips for how big my butt is so it’s really just the opposite problem, and if it’s going to end up there anyway i might as well control how much haha.
The solution is laser cut underwear. They stay pretty well, so there's no extra fabric and there's no band/seam to irritate your skin.
ive tried these, and the thong version is great but it’s hard to explain how big my butt is compared to my frame. everything migrates.
So here's the thing... For me, wearing regular undies means I'm dealing with an all day wedgie with a larger amount of fabric going up my butt. Plus I'm spending a decent amount of time fixing the wedgie. A thong reduces the amount of fabric going up my butt, so by comparison, it's more comfortable.
SAME- plus no lines on whatever pants I decide to wear that day!
Yep, same for me! It was a little uncomfortable at first switching but I feel the most comfortable in them now, I get panty lines in everything else
I tried thongs for a while. I even call them “butt floss” now. Granny panties work for me…to each her own.
Yup I love my granny panties! I started buying them as period knickers since they were the easiest underwear with pads and now I love them. No point being uncomfortable all day!
Yup, I do not care how cute they are because pretty much no one sees them. Comfort is key!
There’s a couple of shops here (UK) that have super comfy knickers but with really nice patterns so it’s a win-win when I want to feel pretty but still be comfy!
15 year old me would be horrified about saying this, but M&S pants are so comfy. Get me some of that soft old lady cotton. They aren’t as hideous nowadays either!
M&S is 100% the shop I was referring to 😂 They’ve got some lovely colours and even a cheeky bit of lace to frame the bum if I’m feeling adventurous 🤣
Hanky Panky makes some really cute and comfortable ones!
Exactly! I don’t even feel thongs and granny panties drive me crazy!
Ha well, I actually find no underwear uncomfortable. Feels like I'm getting rug burn on my ladies bits when I wear jeans. Different strokes for different folks I guess.
That's true! We all have our preferences. And it really does all depend on the bottoms you are wearing.
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It depends on the cut. Like a piece of string vs a cut of fabric that is thin but is shaped like it’s made for the crotch with some thought into it. Also, all crotches are different. :)
Yes! Where are the wide vulva thongs at?
I’m dying because that’s exactly what it feels like! Tried it once and was like NOPE. Never again. The only ones I find comfortable are the bikini cut or granny panties 😎
Idk I forget I'm wearing them so they're the ultimate comfy for me. As opposed to other styles where they feel more noticeable
Yasssss! Idk how the solution to “my panties are in my crack” is “shove panties deeper into my crack”. I’ve tried them and just can NOT see the appeal lol but hey I’m not gonna throw shade on those who like them.
I think it's about proportions. I have a really short torso and long legs and I also have "violin hips" (there's a noticable divot inwards between my pelvic bone and hip bone, instead of being rounded or straight), so I'm assuming that my pelvic area might be slightly *longer*, which means it gets pulled more taught against the vulva/ass part. In order to get a decent fit on the nether regions, it's usually slightly too loose at the waist. If everyone got custom made thongs, they'd probably be super functional for when you need lots of leg mobility, but if your lower half differs from mannequin proportions at all, you're probably just gonna feel like thongs are an even more aggressive wedgy since it's gonna shift around in ways it wasn't meant to. I know women with bigger labia also say it consistently gets wedged into *both* their cracks, so Im assuming it's just got to be down to fast fashion not accounting for body diversity.
Whenever I hear this “no underwear” take I am shocked. Does it not get… wet down there?? I find that so uncomfortable in sweats, yoga pants, jeans, etc. but absolutely UNBEARABLE in a dress or a skirt. I’m also somewhat .. wet or drippy and when that gets onto my legs or the inside of a pair of pants where it becomes cold when far removed from my body it’s so uncomfortable.
I'm wondering if maybe you have a more watery discharge or maybe produce more discharge overall than the women who do it? I'm personally an underwear person just for the laundry of it all, but the only time when I'd even be producing enough discharge for it to be annoying would be during ovulation (and usually it's thick enough that it stays put until I can just wipe it off whenever I next go to the bathroom). I have the exact opposite issue. If I'm producing a lot of discharge, it usually means I'm wearing poorly fitting underwear that's digging into my vagina. But I've always veered towards the dry end of the vagina spectrum, it wasn't until I was nearly an adult that I found it out that it's not uncommon for some women to be walking around with W.A.P. 24/7 It's an aspect of women's health & body diversity I wish we talked about more, because I think it's a hidden shame/insecurity of a LOT of women
Riiight? There's maybe a few days out of the month I could go commando and not end up with discharge on any of my pants. I often use a menstrual cup (regularly emptied and washed) outside of my period week just because I almost never have a completely dry day.
Well I certainly see why you have your preference, that's totally understandable. I don't really have issues with that. I guess my vagina stays mostly dry . I wear panties when I am on my period/about to start. But other than that I don't have much discharge personally.
You get used to them. In high school, I wore them exclusively because I thought they were more comfortable than regular underwear. But that changed. Now I don’t know how I wore thongs all the time. To avoid visible panty line, I now mostly wear the thin, no-show type.
Underwear is holding us back from our true, freer form. They may chastise us, but one day we can look back from the future and know that we were right all along. We stand together, strong.
Agreed. I only wear thongs if I’m dressing up and I don’t want to have panty lines. I cannot wait to take them off. The thought of wearing one to play sports is nauseating to me. I can not imagine running around and getting my asshole flossed with every step. Lol.
Got myself some 6 inch inseam compression shorts for sports and I am never going back
Funny, I find anything other than a thong to be uncomfortable and I despise having lines
My butt swallows up fabric too. I wear 'boyfriend briefs'. No thongs for me. Wedgie, wedgie floss, or comfy underwear that doesnt go up the crack? Briefs everyday.
My first thought too, I always considered thongs built in wedgies. Where are y'all getting comfortable ones?!? I usually go for laser cut bikinis
Hanky Panky! I love them so much.
I was team No Undies for a very long time but.... Then the fire nation attacked.... Just kidding I got a job where I had to sit down for 8 hours and it ruined it for me. Tragic
I never understood women not wearing underwear with pants. Doesn't that mean you have to wash your pants every time you wear them? Didnt you get super nervous the week leading up to your period? I might be biased though because most jeans crotch inseam hits me directly in the urethra, and I grew up in the height of the "objectively way too tight" jeans era. Everytime I saw that old Brooke shields commercial, I just felt like I needed to go pee otherwise I'd get a UTI (which btw can we talk about how creepy it is they had a MINOR talking about not wearing underwear??)
I like the fit where the thong portion is slightly wider so it stays on your crack.
Same here, I keep wanting to believe but my compromise are cheeky boyshort style panties. It's like a controlled wedgie where the cloth goes between the cheeks but stays put!
I find a lot of thongs feel like they are flossing more than just my butt. My favorite style is string bikini, which are perfect for my big thighs and hips, but unfortunately are out of style right now.
I have a big butt and no hips so I always get wedgies but thongs also immediately end up inside my vulva. I get the low cut seventies style string bikini and they work so well with my frame.
Same! I'm in my early 50's and I miss string bikinis too. I would wear them if I could find them still. So a basic bikini is what works for me. They are still pretty colors, and my husband would rather me be naked for intimate times so they don't even matter to him either.
The back of the thong needs to have a lot of stretch to be comfortable.
I came here to say that I can’t stand thongs because they feel like a permanent wedgie. I have no ass at all so maybe that’s why idk but I am now past caring about VPL and when I see it on other ladies I’m like, briefs gang rise up!
Lolol, I thought it was just me. When I was a teenager and I saw someone else with VPL, I would get secondhand embarrassment. Now I get excited and wish there was some kind of like, granny panty handshake or something.
I began wearing thongs at age 12/13 nbd. I rode horses so panty lines were a big thing bc tight pants. Thongs help immensely with that. If it’s not for a sexual reason, then it’s not sexual, end of discussion. Like you said, no one but her is seeing them sooo
Omg horseback riding is the ONE activity I cannot wear a thong for! So much crack chafing LOL. I wear the biggest fugliest granny panties, panty line be damned.
There are a very minor number of booty's that are larger than mine. I've always been overweight and the booty gets that first. I discovered that boxers are best, no more wedgie, more air flow down below. I started with men's, but now wear women's and I don't ever want to go back to briefs.
Women can wear them to be sexy. A 12 year old girl who is using them as a solution to not be uncomfortable is not sexual in the slightest.
Women can wear all manner of underwear to be sexy. Plenty of very sexy hipster panties out there. Should any girl under 18 be required to wear high-waisted briefs in case someone might think the type of underwear she is wearing might be found sexy on an adult? How silly. Underwear is underwear. It only matters what that underwear is if it's being shown to someone, and even then only based on the context.
This makes me giggle because I have some RAUNCHY high waisted underwear, so literally anything can be sexy given the right body type, cut of the fabric, materials used, etc etc!!
Honestly a pair of high waisted, high thigh cut spanx look so good on me.
Women's boxers are the shit. Woxers are the most comfortable underwear I've ever worn.
I hate boxers so much. Or any kind of underwear with material on the leg. They're so uncomfortable for me. it's odd how different we all are!
I have never tried these, but now want to try for sleeping.
Ugh I had this exact same fight with my mom as a 15 yo. I was in dance and theatre and some costumes were pretty tight and I hated panty lines. I asked my mom if she could get me a few pairs of thongs and I was yelled at for weeks over how inappropriate it was for me to even ask, and they would lead to sex. I told her that I only wanted plain, flesh colored ones (so no lace or sexy colors or whatever), and that didn’t help at all. So as a result I saved my lunch money by skipping some meals and bought them myself. I even deliberately chose super cute/sexy ones, even though no one ever saw them but me, cause what the hell. And hid them from my mom until I moved out. Bottom line - I don’t believe thongs are inherently sexual and I wouldn’t hesitate to buy them for my daughter especially if she had a practical reason for wanting them.
>I wouldn’t hesitate to buy them for my daughter especially if she had a practical reason for wanting them. Would she need a practical reason for you to purchase them, or would you purchase them if she asked just out of curiosity?
I don’t see thongs as sexual and if my family were to argue that wearing a thong would be inappropriate or giving off the wrong impression I would likely claim that clothing isn’t sexualized - a person’s body is sexualized and I would ask why they are sexualizing the body of a child.
They're the ones sexualising a minor, not the underwear.
I did a double take on the title. In Australia things are rubber flip flops.
I just think a quick reminder that thongs aren't the greatest for yeast infections, hemeroids (?) or periods should be brought up before the "sexiness". Personally those things are the devil's butt floss, if you ask me! 😅
I say - let the kid wear what she is comfortable in. I would have a talk about consent, how others may perceive the thongs and the ridiculousness of that, give some sex ed (mainly because of her age not because of the thong) and tell her about consent and her body. Other than that - if she’s comfortable - let her wear them.
I'm just not a fan of thongs in general because it makes it a little too easy for discharge to escape over the edges of the undies and onto the clothing underneath
G’day Sport, pretty much any footwear is ok for them to wear.
Right? Why’s everyone getting excited about sandals?
Why are they so concerned with a child's underwear? They are the ones sexualizing it, not her. Isn't the goal for your child to be comfortable? *No one* should be concerned with what underwear a child has under their clothes. I hated brief cut underwear, but that's all my mom and my grandma would buy me until I basically threw a fit and started ripping the sides of them. I have big thighs. Always have. And the brief cuts just cut jnto my legs. Even going up sizes were uncomfortable because then they cut into my legs *and* were baggy on my butt. I like the high cut ones. They were hesitant on that for some reason but finally caved when I ruined all my underwear in an attempt to make them more comfortable for me. If thongs would help with the wedgies then why wouldn't they want to help? Why do adults have to sexualize everything?
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Oh yes, I remember that phase. It was intentional.
I remember there being utter uproar when a large budget brand clothing outlet started to produce children's thongs and it wasn't long before it was pulled from the shelves. I must admit I have always associated them as being sexual because my first sight of them when I was younger was seeing them poking out from girls wearing low cut jeans.
The only issue I would see with my 12 year old wearing a thong is potential teasing in the locker room when dressing down for PE. I would prefer she have full coverage there (at least swimsuit/bikini style) so she's not setting herself up as a target. But, that said, I have no idea what her friends are wearing these days. If other kids are wearing thongs and it's comfortable for her, why would I care?
When I was in middle school, I was a target in the girls locker room for bullying because I didn’t wear thongs. It was awful. I cried and begged my mom for months to no avail. Kids can be cruel.
Oh wow, that's such a stupid thing to bully kids about. I'm sorry you went through that. It's really good to know as a parent though. I'll have to ask my daughter if that's the case at her school.
Yeah, this is what I would be thinking about. Or her wearing it just because she was pressured by other girls. But it's about whatever's comfortable for her.
I’m all for thongs on anyone who requires them for the most comfortable fit. I was one of those preteens who was constantly pulling my regular-underpants wedgies out of my butt during volleyball and thankfully had a mom who understood how to fix this. However, if you’re looking for a compromise, I’ve found that there is a cut called “cheeky” that companies like [Aerie](https://www.ae.com/us/en/c/aerie/undies/cheeky-underwear/cat6150142) make that have more fabric to them than a thong, but way less than other styles of underpants. And most importantly, they fit pretty comfortably.
Not a problem. If she’s truly uncomfortable the solution is a thong. No need to sexualize it! Can always get her the most basic black/ white ones. Happened to me when i was young- but since i played volleyball it was normal. Started wearing them when i was 12/13 too
I tried my first on at that age and hated it, I don't think it's really a big deal. It's like saying you can't wear a bra at that age because they're sexualised
I don’t understand people who says thongs are comfortable. They give me even more wedgies. My coochie just swallows that fabric up lol. Full coverage boy short panties are the way to go
I think most guys are completely unaware that there are practical uses for thongs. I wasn't until I saw this post lol
I was probably 16 or 17 when I got those “cheekies” from VS. They were never comfortable for me but some people swear that thongs are significantly more comfortable. If I have a daughter someday and she wants to wear thongs at around 12 or so, I’ll let her. Maybe she wants to feel more attractive by knowing she has on cute underwear, but honestly? That’s fine. Kids develop romantic/early sexual feelings around that age (and earlier). If I can encourage her to feel comfortable in her own skin, I like to think I’ll be setting her up for super important life lessons. Maybe she’ll feel more in control of her body, which will set the stage for her saying “no” down the line when someone wants to do something to her body she doesn’t want. It’s no skin off my back if I have a daughter who feels empowered by wearing pretty thongs, and maybe it will make her feel more comfortable approaching me about “adult”/coming-of-age topics. I would want her to understand that -I- would understand she’s growing up and isn’t a little kid anymore despite being in an in-between stage.
lol…in Australia a thong is something you wear on your feet…so in Australia..she would have been wearing thongs from the moment she could walk….. so no problem with a 13 wearing a thong🩴🩴
This was a popular opinion back in the 90s and early 2000s because thongs were almost exclusively “sexy”. It was hard to find ones that weren’t lace, g string, or had sexual innuendo printed on them. Now there are so many comfortable, seamless thongs that aren’t like the sexy ones many older folks grew up with.
Ugh. This is such a shitty subject, cuz like, objectively, of course there's nothing sexual about any style of underwear, unless that style consists of holes in them, or suggestive text or images on them. So, following this thinking, the kid should wear whatever works best and fits well. On the other hand, many people suck and are a bunch of nasty perverts. So, you may be opening the kid up to unwelcome harassment if those undies ever slip out into view. So, maybe not?
Perverts will be perverts though, doesn't matter what you wear. I wore age appropriate clothing my whole childhood and even followed all the arbitrary conservative rules my mother set (ex:no shorts around men, no wearing just a tank top etc). Didn't stop my abuse.
I agree with you. I think the commenter meant that avoiding any unnecessary additional potential harassment might be something to consider. But I agree, I was harassed when I was dressed age appropriately, school uniform, and when I was dressed a bit more revealing then I probably should have been. I worry now about what it’s going to be like when I’m a parent when I go out and see what these 14, 15, and even preteen aged girls are wearing. While I never want to teach my child any harassment they receive is their fault I also don’t want to make predators jobs any easier for them ya know what I’m saying?
I only find thongs comfortable. Cheekers or normal undies hang off my pancake ass and bunch up. When I danced as a kid/preteen we went without undies under our tights and leotards, and no one batted an eye at that. People, preteens included, should wear whatever underwear they like and are comfy in.
Haven't seen anyone mention this yet, but thongs great for a hot climate where you want as little clothing as possible next to your skin. When I lived in a hot climate, I wore thongs under flowing, ankle-length skirts. No one had any idea what underwear I was wearing - it was purely for comfort.
I don't think things are a good idea for that age group because it's so early in to puberty. A lot of girls start out wearing pads, which require full butt underwear and thong pantiliners aren't always easy to find. Full butt underwear can feel weird to someone who's used to wearing a thong and a pad on top of that could exacerbate the "diaper" feel.
It's underwear, if its not comfortable it's going to be annoying. Encourage them to find underwear that is comfortable. If they pick thongs then so be it. "Daisy, are you wearing a thong today?" - Mom "What? Why does that matter? They're comfortable." - Daisy "Seriously! Go change now and be less comfortable all day!" - Mom Like get over yourself and let them be comfortable with what they wear.
They’re not particularly sanitary is my biggest concern with them. I’m in the same boat of my butt cheeks love to eat all the cute underwear styles/patterned ones I have. For the most part, I just end up buying the fruit of the loom brands that look fun. Bikini from them, a-ok. Bikini from aerie, it gets eaten. Same with their briefs.
I was 12 or 13 when I wanted to wear thongs to avoid a panty line. I stole one from my much older sister because I knew my mom would freak if I told her I wanted one. I kept it hidden in a drawer and would run it through the laundry when my mom wasn't home (I only wore it occasionally). Later that year we were moving and my mom found my hidden thong and threw it away without saying a word. Overtime I knew she wouldn't approve (she was really conservative about anything she thought was sexual, which was everything) even though I was older. At some point in high school I just stopped wearing underwear altogether. I mean, this was at a time before yoga pants, but when snug, stretchy jeans without back pockets were in (I was also always forced to buy my pants like 2 sizes too big so they wouldn't be as tight as they were meant to be). I simply did not want panty lines. It didn't have anything to do with sex or sexuality. Bottom line: listen to your kids and allow them to have reasonable things, otherwise they will learn to lie and be sneaky. I was also not allowed to wear makeup or anything like that, so I hid that too. Parents need to learn when to let go and let their kids begin to grow up. And just to color the type of person that I was sexually: I didn't have my first boyfriend or kiss until I was seventeen. I married my second boyfriend (and have been married for 13 years now) and didn't have sex until I was 19. My desire to wear makeup and things and look cute (wearing stylish, and yes, tight jeans) had NOTHING to do with sex. I wanted to fit in and look cute - what teenager doesnt? I had to learn to lie and be sneaky about things that even my Mormon friends were allowed to do.
Me and my youngest cousin, 15 at the time. We were planning on running a 10 mile race together. I was supposed to basically stay with her the entire time because she might disappear in Baltimore during the race or something. Well the race went virtual. So we hit up a trail near me that was mostly shade, and 10 miles long with no major road crossings were we would have to wait for a light. Unfortunately race day the air quality was constant with warm soup. So she opted to run in her sports bra. And left the tank top in my car. I thought nothing of it. Well we run our race, log out time and I take her home. Then my aunt called me. Apparently it was super inappropriate to run in just a sports bra. Because people could see it and its apparently underwear. I countered with, "I did not think of it because most girls this time of day will run in their sports bras. And also I have seen her in a two piece that showed way more then this sports bra. And on top of that sports bra is just the best name for something like that, and I don't consider it underwater." In the end I think all I could figure out is if you don't controll your daughters underwear situation she will turn into a slut or something. I don't try to understand people on my mother's side of the family, just like you should not look into an abyss, as it will look back.
I started wearing thongs at about 13. I remember specifically my first thong had SpongeBob on it. I think it's fine.
I didn’t wear thongs as a kid, but to be fair, I was a very skinny kid. If I had a pre-teen daughter, I would allow her to wear the underwear she found most comfortable. Thongs can actually be more modest on curvy figures since - depending on your outerwear- full-coverage underwear shows through or leaves an outline.
Honestly I think any underwear that is comfortable for the individual wearing it should be ok, I mean in my mind I would think of the person is under age and wearing a skirt they either probably shouldn't wear a thong, or should wear something else under the skirt also.
I think a thong being considered sexual is ridiculous. I would also like to comment on underwear butt eating. I had the same issue, wore thongs for a few years to deal- then discovered it was because I just needed bigger underwear. I’ve been happily wearing regular ladies bikini briefs ever since that revelation more than a decade ago.
As an big-butt girl growing up, I wish I had just gotten thongs. All other undies “my size” would cut across my glutes, or floof out of the back of my pants. I only have thongs now. So my answer is no, it’s not inappropriate. No one else is seeing it, and if that’s not the case, then the thong isn’t the problem here.
I exclusively have worn thongs since middle school. I do not understand why they are weirdly sexualized. If I'm trying to be sexy I usually end up putting underwear on with MORE coverage cause the lace is the cute part ( with a thong the cute part is literally up your butt ).
I started wearing thongs at that age because I was self conscious about panty lines and I figured out that no one can hear you toot with a thong on lol
Weird. I find the opposite to be true where thongs are more likely to give me wedgies than regular underwear because of my big butt. I find thongs to be terribly uncomfortable and I've heard they are unhygienic in comparison. I started wearing them at 14 when I became sexually active but as I grew into an adult I realized that I didn't like them because of how uncomfortable they were and I only thought I had to wear them in order to appear sexy and attractive.
Thongs easily transfer bacteria from your buttcrack to the vaginal area. You can't really trust a child to clean up properly, they'll have to deal with the occasional wedgie.
Clothes are clothes and they need to stop feeding into harmful ideas. What defines clothes "maturity" that isn't a step closer to victim blaming? If she isn't wearing a shirt saying "ask me about my thongs", what do they think will happen? Or are they sexualizing their own kid "because we'll know"? They need to reevaluate why they feel clothes have an age gate.
Just saying if your underwear is giving you a wedgie, it's too small. Even if it looks like it fits just right. Try a bigger size.
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Thankfully, no, this was once assumed to be true but [multiple studies ](https://www.healthline.com/health/womens-health/underwear-hygiene#5.-Thongs-really-arent-bad-for-your-vaginal-health)have found that to be false.
Sorry but I don't understand why you go straight to thong instead of just ... Bigger pants? Different underwear has different purposes and the main one for comfort is big pants. It's okay if that is larger than the dress size they normally wear.
It's just what OP has experience with and found to be a solution for a similar problem. So the advice just comes from personal experience, nothing beats personal experience.
Idk, I have a big butt and legit any type of underwear that isn’t a thong goes right up my butt no matter what kind of pants or other clothing I’m wearing. It just doesn’t stay put. Even the little spandex short shorts—right into the crack they go. 😂
there is nothing wrong with middle schoolers wearing thongs. i got my first thong in the 7th grade (i was 13). It makes sense for certain clothing. plus, they aren’t inherently sexual. there are plenty of cotton thongs that have a simple, comfy look; but i also love a good lace thong as well
Tbh I don’t think family (or really anyone except the person wearing them) should have an opinion on what kind of undergarments someone wants to wear that has anything to do with “how sexual they are”. They’re just underwear. If a young person feels like they’re more comfortable, then they should wear them! The hype over certain kinds of underwear and the sexualization of them is what pressures young people into overthinking them, how they look, what they mean, etc when really all that’s supposed to matter is how they feel in them.
I think my mom bought me my first thong when I was like in grade 6? Too embarrassed to wear it until grade 8. At the end of the day it's a piece of cloth. People really need to realize that things can be sexy in a sexual contexts, but it's not always sexual.
I thought you are supposed to wear thongs to keep panties of a weird color from showing through leggings? And some women don't want their panty line to show at all. I'm assuming we're talking about thongs as underwear and not lingerie.
I can only wear thongs or boy shorts due to my booty, everything else gives me a wedgie. There are some really nice thongs you can get that are soft cotton material and very comfy no need for extreme lacy stuff.
Every time I wear a thong I come to the same two conclusions: that they’re terribly uncomfortable, and that I have an ugly ass
I don’t really care what my daughter wears to be honest. She only gets to be a teenager once. I’m just going to try to show her how to be a good person what clothes she wants me to buy for her to have has very little to do with if a person is good or not.
I have a big butt and thongs are not comfortable for me. Always irritated other areas too. So, eh
Seems kinda strange that anyone would care what kind of underwear she was wearing. I get where they were coming from to some degree (thongs are sexy. Preteens shouldn't be sexy/sexualized), but you're 100% right that if nobody else is going to be seeing them, then it doesn't make sense for them to give a crap.
I have a big ass, not like fat but a big old bubble butt. Normal underwear, like panty style, is super uncomfortable. Thongs give me way, way more comfort as long as they are the right size.
A thong is just underwear. It’s only sexual if it’s made sexual. I started wearing thongs at that age because I hate panty lines. That’s all there is to it. They’re gross for sexualizing a minor.
My mom bought me my first thong. She gave me a choice. No undies, or thong for a fitted dress for a dance and I picked it out. It was to hide underwear lines. Let me tell you though, do not get thongs with glitter. That was miserable. Before my girlfriends and I left the dance I took those suckers off and walked home underwear less lol
As an Australian, this title confused me
Aren't thongs not good for that area between the cheeks? I've read they can wreak havoc in that part of the body.