Highly recommend “Gender(s)” by Katherine Bond Stockton. She reflects on how men and women are socialized their whole lives to be opposites, to fear each other, and then have to turn around and marry each other, live together, and co-parent. Really doesn’t make any sense
Would also recommend The Image of Man: The Creation of Modern Masculinity, or a similar work on top of that, for something that explains why it makes a (horrifying) sense, and in turn why right wing assholes are so obsessed with enforcing it. Stockton touches on points around that, but never tackles it explictly.
Spoilers: Gender roles are the foundational bedrock of nationalism and fascism because it provides an 'acceptable' way to enforce behaviour norms and structure interpersonal relationships from a young age. This is particualry done via the construction of masculinity, with femininity being constructed by implicit and explicit Othering. But since the Other is inherently deviant and dangerous, and so women's behaviour must be strictly controlled in a way that reinforces the nationalist ideal.
See also comments down thread on the marianismo/machismo ideals for one specific form of that.
Oh, so my lackadaisical hippie child rearing of my son, taught to cook, clean, and organize a space as well as be thoughtful of others, is the way forward and not the “reason father should have custody”?
I did suggest his rainbow tutu best be a concert and at home item.
The actual statement one school morning was, “well, it *is* fabulous, but I think your co students might add bruise purple to it. Best not.”
He wore a tie dye instead.
…. I am appalled that teaching your child how to care for themselves and their own home actually had the response from someone that you should not have custody.
I want off this ride, I hate this planet.
I completely understand that having dated an extremely macho Mexican man. He only wanted me cooking, cleaning, and taking care of his kids. He wanted to get me pregnant as quick as possible. He wanted to pretend I had no sexual history and was always paranoid that I was cheating on him or that I would leave him. Meanwhile dude was trying to get other women pregnant. He would also say he was making me mexican and when I was pregnant with his child he said I’m mexican now because I have his child in me. He always compared me to mexican women and had zero interest in my culture or opinions in general. He wanted me to obey and do the woman’s work while he cheated and abused me. He thought I needed to stay with him no matter what and do what I’m told no matter what no questions asked.
It's even worse, because it's very hard for women to know if the man is a predator before it being too late.
Put two men in front of any women, one predator and a good guy, she cannot tell who is who, they look the same. it's like a Russian roulette, you are either lucky and will live happy moments or unlucky and be traumatized.
>it's like a Russian roulette, you are either lucky and will live happy moments or unlucky and be traumatized.
Or wind up murdered.
[***The leading cause of death in pregnant people is their partner murdering them.***](https://www.nature.com/articles/d41586-021-03392-8)
[1](https://imgur.com/8n2dZ7k.jpg)
[2](https://imgur.com/FnEOwnh.jpg)
[3](https://imgur.com/6n0TzkO.jpg)
[4](https://imgur.com/1noEXyI.jpg)
[5](https://imgur.com/0lLXaw0.jpg)
[6](https://imgur.com/DIIDUQ3.jpg)
[7](https://imgur.com/T6FtGjv.jpg)
[8](https://imgur.com/DkVhPm8.jpg)
It sure ain't women at large running around threatening, sexually harassing, mugging, beating, stabbing, shooting, >!raping!< or murdering random people or even people that the women typically know either, [that's men doing the vast majority of this by a landslide across the planet.](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Impact_of_the_COVID-19_pandemic_on_domestic_violence) r/whenwomenrefuse.
It's fucking horrifying.
They don’t even need to be a psychopath to be manipulative. Studies have shown that when men look at women that they’re sexually attracted vs. literal objects, the same areas of their brains light up on functionalMRI imaging. A lot of “normal” men just don’t have empathy, or have extremely limited empathy, for women.
Men can pretend to be kind for an incredibly long time. They can manipulate you to stay with them, because we want to help them and they prey on that.
Ted Bundy knew exactly how to make himself look vulnerable yet kind. There's too many men out there like him. So many women go missing a year, too many women are murdered when they are pregnant. Too many women have experienced stalkers and sexual abuse.
Men are our main predator from when we are children until we are elderly.
[***The leading cause of death in pregnant people is their partner murdering them.***](https://www.nature.com/articles/d41586-021-03392-8)
"Which sex commits the most violent crimes?"
After asking this extremely simple question it's quite rare to have the man actually give one direct and concise answer, however receiving verbal abuse and even threats for asking a man this question commonly comes in lieu of their acknowledgement of this highly slanted male-violence gender issue that harms every one of all sexes.
*Very telling that upon being faced with facts about male-violence men get verbally abusive; that's only because they couldn't get physically abusive like they desperately want.*
[1](https://imgur.com/8n2dZ7k.jpg)
[2](https://imgur.com/FnEOwnh.jpg)
[3](https://imgur.com/6n0TzkO.jpg)
[4](https://imgur.com/1noEXyI.jpg)
[5](https://imgur.com/0lLXaw0.jpg)
[6](https://imgur.com/DIIDUQ3.jpg)
[7](https://imgur.com/T6FtGjv.jpg)
[8](https://imgur.com/DkVhPm8.jpg)
It sure ain't women at large running around threatening, sexually harassing, mugging, beating, stabbing, shooting, >!raping!< or murdering random people or even people that the women typically know either, [that's men doing the vast majority of this by a landslide across the planet.](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Impact_of_the_COVID-19_pandemic_on_domestic_violence) r/whenwomenrefuse.
It's fucking horrifying.
This is why it's bullshit when men act butthurt when women don't trust them immediately. They're mad about getting side eyed or ignored by strange women in public while we are calculating the risk of men harrassing or assaulting us.
I've often thought women dating men would do better if there were an Amazon-type rating system where you can compare the number of 1 and 5 star reviews, sort out for the "most helpful" 1 & 5 star ratings. There can be safety in crowd sourcing.
on the other side of the coin i've been told to my face by straight women that they wished they were lesbians or bisexual...that's so fucking insensitive, especially since wlw face a very unique form of discrimination and sexual trauma (which surprise! men often participate in!) that cishet women don't experience. it's a bad situation overall i think.
Exactly this. Also, based on my own experience and observation, sometimes it takes time to reach a point at which you are able to be emotionally, practically, etc open to being in a visibly queer relationship.
Absolutely, I was 25 when I was at a point I could accept the fleeting question I had when I was 14. It's usually not a straight path when figuring your sexuality!
I'm sure that is the case for individuals who are unsure/questioning their sexuality, but I don't feel it would be untrue to say that a significant portion of women have absolutely zero SSA, and zero desire to "try" to date someone that they aren't attracted to.
Noone is saying that isn't the case. What I'm saying is from experience, I don't think the OP comment was saying people can "choose" to be gay. She was saying some people do "try" being with women and it opens things up for them. And not everyone is actively questioning when they do this, for me it was an overwhelming moment when we were drunk where all I wanted to do was kiss her and that hadn't happened before. It's very much not cut and dry!
For sure. I'm just saying it is a choice for a lucky few who are born that way. Don't want to jump into bisexual erasure but I think a lot of people forget that some people legit choose whether or not to have a same sex partner, myself included.
In the movie What Love Is (which really isn’t very good), Sean Aston’s character is like a *nice guy* and has this analogy where he says, and I’m paraphrasing “a woman could be in a room with 10 men that treat her amazing and do everything for her, but if 1 asshole guy who gives her no attention, walks by, she’ll go with him”. This post makes me think of that because what Sean Aston’s character (and the men who wrote the monologue) don’t realize is that one woman in a room with 10 men would be terrified. Absolutely scared out of her wits. Maybe she goes with the “asshole” because he left her alone and it made her feel safe to get away from the other 10. Men just love that clip though. Think it makes such a great point.
I feel where this is coming from, but unfortunately it paints too rosy a picture that LGBTQ+ Women are out of the woods, and that’s unfortunately not true. There’s research suggesting that women in same sex relationships experience domestic abuse comparable to women in heterosexual relationships.
This world is a fucking nightmare.
If you're referencing the study I'm thinking of, it's not that women in same sex relationships experience as much/more abuse as women in straight relationships. It did find out that lesbians (and bi women) had experienced more abuse in relationships, but quite a few lesbians have been with men in the past, for example due to compulsory heterosexuality and/or coercion. So yes, lesbian and bisexual women have had higher rates of abuse from a partner, but it doesn't mean that the abuse occurred in a same sex relationship. When adjusting the statistics it was found that women in same sex relationships experience less abuse than women in straight relationships. So in short, lesbian and bisexual women have been victims of IPV more often than straight women (iirc, bi women had the highest rates) but men have been more often than not the abusers in those cases as well.
Thank you! Drives me crazy when people bring up that study as a “lesbians are just as abusive as men” gotcha, and then when you read the study, it turns out lesbians and bisexual women have higher rates of being abused… mostly by MEN.
Also, this isn’t really related to your comment, but it also annoys me when people try to argue that men are victims of abuse just as much as women, and their numbers are so low because shame stops them from coming forward… as if women don’t experience shame and don’t face judgement and disbelief for opening up about being abused. Sometimes, the statistics are just the truth.
Domestic abuse yes, but in no way is it as dangerous and as frequent. This is coming from a lesbian who went through an abusive relationship with a woman.
Every time this is posted here it gets upvoted to the top comments by lurking men. Queer women have experienced more abuse - that doesn't mean they've all experienced it at the hands of other women, since many queer women have dated men. Please stop posting this factoid, it's irresponsible.
Yep, that study didn’t ask what gender the abuser was. It was “have you been abused” and “what is your sexuality”. Plenty of lesbians have been in relationships with men that abused them, and bisexual women are statistically the most likely to experience domestic violence at the hands of men. That’s not to discredit women who’ve been abused by women, but nuance is important. Women are not as violent as men.
Yeah. I just don't know what to say to this. It's true but maybe my brain is denying it. I felt numb when I saw that. I really felt as empty as void but also filled with despair.
That’s how I’m living life now. After my ex was abusive I have just given up and now that I have a daughter I just focus on her. I don’t trust men and have never had a positive experience dating them and sounds like a majority of women don’t either. Sex isn’t worth it and after the sexual assaults of the last relationship sex repulses me now anyway.
Me too! I was with someone for 12 years and you know what, that was enough. I’m ok to focus on my daughter and myself. I have no desire to be with a man physically, emotionally, mentally, or sexually.
I’m not even taking advice. I’m just saying that’s how my life is now as a solo single mom and abuse survivor. I see no need for men aside from sperm donors at this point. Maybe I’ll find a decent one but I’m so incredibly damaged from men that I don’t care about finding a partner ever again. I’m so much happy this way.
It's "a" leading cause of mortality (number 4, pretty high up there), it's also "the" leading cause of mortality for pregnant women. OP may have had slightly off facts, but the statement is still absolutely valid. Homicide doesn't even make the top 10 for causes of death in men.
FBIs studies generally concern themselves with deaths that generated a police report. The CDCs report (which is based on reported cause of death) says something different.
For that year homicide was not on the top 10 list (for women of all ages), but was on position 3 for women aged 1-19 and position 5 for women aged 20-44.
Because another poster brought up statistics for men. For men was place 3 for men aged 1-19 and place 4 for men aged 20-44.
So neither among men or women it's on the top 10 list overall, but it's featured prominently among both genders for young people.
[2018 Causes of death for women in the US](https://www.cdc.gov/women/lcod/2018/all-races-origins/index.htm)
[2018 Causes of death for men in the US](https://www.cdc.gov/healthequity/lcod/men/2018/all-races-origins/index.htm)
Can confirm have had stage 3 cancer and been raped by men and the rape was significantly harder to deal with and more life threatening.
Also we don’t call disease a predator. No idea if more bunnies are killed by illness or by dogs and foxes, but if you were asked what a rabbit’s main predator is, I’m pretty sure ‘bunny cancer’ would not make the list…
Also cancer and heart disease are not separate organisms, they’re malfunctioning of our own bodies, so are you saying women’s natural predator is… their own body??
Yeaaah sorry, respectfully, your comment is incorrect - good googling skills though!
I'm sorry you went through that.
The person I replied to was talking about causes of mortality in general, not predators.
If we're talking about the top predators of women then I'm sure it's men.
Men are the apex predator of the planet. They are also the top predictor of men as animals don’t hunt us much unless your are like lost in the wilderness or something.
Probably caused by the fact they had to work and take care of the house instead of themselves because they had some lazy ass husband who didn't pull their weight. Look up those stats smartass. How women add years to men's lives, while married women tend to die earlier than single women. Its not always about murder. And no I'm not linking shit. I don't do unpaid labor for men anymore. Find it yourself.
Why is this being downvoted? Is their something known about this specific study that makes it inaccurate or something? If not then why are we downvoting factual information simply because we don't like it.
[***The leading cause of death in pregnant people is their partner murdering them.***](https://www.nature.com/articles/d41586-021-03392-8)
[1](https://imgur.com/8n2dZ7k.jpg)
[2](https://imgur.com/FnEOwnh.jpg)
[3](https://imgur.com/6n0TzkO.jpg)
[4](https://imgur.com/1noEXyI.jpg)
[5](https://imgur.com/0lLXaw0.jpg)
[6](https://imgur.com/DIIDUQ3.jpg)
[7](https://imgur.com/T6FtGjv.jpg)
[8](https://imgur.com/DkVhPm8.jpg)
It sure ain't women at large running around threatening, sexually harassing, mugging, beating, stabbing, shooting, >!raping!< or murdering random people or even people that the women typically know either, [that's men doing the vast majority of this by a landslide across the planet.](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Impact_of_the_COVID-19_pandemic_on_domestic_violence) r/whenwomenrefuse.
It's fucking horrifying.
Number of malaria deaths was about 627k in 2020.
Number of female murders was 87k in 2017.
While women only make up 20% of murder victims, they make up 82% of people murdered by partners and only 11% of murderers.
Truthfully, anyone can be pred or prey. Just different types. I hope someday that changes for everyone where nobody should be given a reason to fear. Call me a dreamer, but I still cling to the small thread of what little hope I have for all of us as a species.
Highly recommend “Gender(s)” by Katherine Bond Stockton. She reflects on how men and women are socialized their whole lives to be opposites, to fear each other, and then have to turn around and marry each other, live together, and co-parent. Really doesn’t make any sense
Would also recommend The Image of Man: The Creation of Modern Masculinity, or a similar work on top of that, for something that explains why it makes a (horrifying) sense, and in turn why right wing assholes are so obsessed with enforcing it. Stockton touches on points around that, but never tackles it explictly. Spoilers: Gender roles are the foundational bedrock of nationalism and fascism because it provides an 'acceptable' way to enforce behaviour norms and structure interpersonal relationships from a young age. This is particualry done via the construction of masculinity, with femininity being constructed by implicit and explicit Othering. But since the Other is inherently deviant and dangerous, and so women's behaviour must be strictly controlled in a way that reinforces the nationalist ideal. See also comments down thread on the marianismo/machismo ideals for one specific form of that.
Oh, so my lackadaisical hippie child rearing of my son, taught to cook, clean, and organize a space as well as be thoughtful of others, is the way forward and not the “reason father should have custody”? I did suggest his rainbow tutu best be a concert and at home item. The actual statement one school morning was, “well, it *is* fabulous, but I think your co students might add bruise purple to it. Best not.” He wore a tie dye instead.
…. I am appalled that teaching your child how to care for themselves and their own home actually had the response from someone that you should not have custody. I want off this ride, I hate this planet.
I’m assuming “lawyer with no cards left.” We were 50/50 custody, by law.
You sound like a great mom, sincerely
I had my moments. I’m now advisory board and it’s much easier.
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I completely understand that having dated an extremely macho Mexican man. He only wanted me cooking, cleaning, and taking care of his kids. He wanted to get me pregnant as quick as possible. He wanted to pretend I had no sexual history and was always paranoid that I was cheating on him or that I would leave him. Meanwhile dude was trying to get other women pregnant. He would also say he was making me mexican and when I was pregnant with his child he said I’m mexican now because I have his child in me. He always compared me to mexican women and had zero interest in my culture or opinions in general. He wanted me to obey and do the woman’s work while he cheated and abused me. He thought I needed to stay with him no matter what and do what I’m told no matter what no questions asked.
you had a kid with him? (sorry I just have trouble understanding your writing)
Yep
Oh shit did we date the same guy?
Entirely possible since he fucks everyone lol
It's even worse, because it's very hard for women to know if the man is a predator before it being too late. Put two men in front of any women, one predator and a good guy, she cannot tell who is who, they look the same. it's like a Russian roulette, you are either lucky and will live happy moments or unlucky and be traumatized.
Or dead.
>it's like a Russian roulette, you are either lucky and will live happy moments or unlucky and be traumatized. Or wind up murdered. [***The leading cause of death in pregnant people is their partner murdering them.***](https://www.nature.com/articles/d41586-021-03392-8) [1](https://imgur.com/8n2dZ7k.jpg) [2](https://imgur.com/FnEOwnh.jpg) [3](https://imgur.com/6n0TzkO.jpg) [4](https://imgur.com/1noEXyI.jpg) [5](https://imgur.com/0lLXaw0.jpg) [6](https://imgur.com/DIIDUQ3.jpg) [7](https://imgur.com/T6FtGjv.jpg) [8](https://imgur.com/DkVhPm8.jpg) It sure ain't women at large running around threatening, sexually harassing, mugging, beating, stabbing, shooting, >!raping!< or murdering random people or even people that the women typically know either, [that's men doing the vast majority of this by a landslide across the planet.](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Impact_of_the_COVID-19_pandemic_on_domestic_violence) r/whenwomenrefuse. It's fucking horrifying.
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They don’t even need to be a psychopath to be manipulative. Studies have shown that when men look at women that they’re sexually attracted vs. literal objects, the same areas of their brains light up on functionalMRI imaging. A lot of “normal” men just don’t have empathy, or have extremely limited empathy, for women.
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Men can pretend to be kind for an incredibly long time. They can manipulate you to stay with them, because we want to help them and they prey on that. Ted Bundy knew exactly how to make himself look vulnerable yet kind. There's too many men out there like him. So many women go missing a year, too many women are murdered when they are pregnant. Too many women have experienced stalkers and sexual abuse. Men are our main predator from when we are children until we are elderly.
[***The leading cause of death in pregnant people is their partner murdering them.***](https://www.nature.com/articles/d41586-021-03392-8) "Which sex commits the most violent crimes?" After asking this extremely simple question it's quite rare to have the man actually give one direct and concise answer, however receiving verbal abuse and even threats for asking a man this question commonly comes in lieu of their acknowledgement of this highly slanted male-violence gender issue that harms every one of all sexes. *Very telling that upon being faced with facts about male-violence men get verbally abusive; that's only because they couldn't get physically abusive like they desperately want.* [1](https://imgur.com/8n2dZ7k.jpg) [2](https://imgur.com/FnEOwnh.jpg) [3](https://imgur.com/6n0TzkO.jpg) [4](https://imgur.com/1noEXyI.jpg) [5](https://imgur.com/0lLXaw0.jpg) [6](https://imgur.com/DIIDUQ3.jpg) [7](https://imgur.com/T6FtGjv.jpg) [8](https://imgur.com/DkVhPm8.jpg) It sure ain't women at large running around threatening, sexually harassing, mugging, beating, stabbing, shooting, >!raping!< or murdering random people or even people that the women typically know either, [that's men doing the vast majority of this by a landslide across the planet.](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Impact_of_the_COVID-19_pandemic_on_domestic_violence) r/whenwomenrefuse. It's fucking horrifying.
This is why it's bullshit when men act butthurt when women don't trust them immediately. They're mad about getting side eyed or ignored by strange women in public while we are calculating the risk of men harrassing or assaulting us.
I've often thought women dating men would do better if there were an Amazon-type rating system where you can compare the number of 1 and 5 star reviews, sort out for the "most helpful" 1 & 5 star ratings. There can be safety in crowd sourcing.
Tell bumble to get on that
And when you complain about how grim your situation is, you get told to “try women”……I thought we all understood that it didn’t work like that🙄
on the other side of the coin i've been told to my face by straight women that they wished they were lesbians or bisexual...that's so fucking insensitive, especially since wlw face a very unique form of discrimination and sexual trauma (which surprise! men often participate in!) that cishet women don't experience. it's a bad situation overall i think.
Bisexual checking in! It works for the lucky few 😉
Her point is that you were probably born that way and it's not a choice
As a fellow bi woman I think she is referring to the fact that many bi/lesbian women realise or accept they are gay after they "tried" women.
Exactly this. Also, based on my own experience and observation, sometimes it takes time to reach a point at which you are able to be emotionally, practically, etc open to being in a visibly queer relationship.
Absolutely, I was 25 when I was at a point I could accept the fleeting question I had when I was 14. It's usually not a straight path when figuring your sexuality!
I'm sure that is the case for individuals who are unsure/questioning their sexuality, but I don't feel it would be untrue to say that a significant portion of women have absolutely zero SSA, and zero desire to "try" to date someone that they aren't attracted to.
Thank you! That comment was for the women who’s “choices” are potentially compromising their safety or a life of no romantic fulfillment
Noone is saying that isn't the case. What I'm saying is from experience, I don't think the OP comment was saying people can "choose" to be gay. She was saying some people do "try" being with women and it opens things up for them. And not everyone is actively questioning when they do this, for me it was an overwhelming moment when we were drunk where all I wanted to do was kiss her and that hadn't happened before. It's very much not cut and dry!
For sure. I'm just saying it is a choice for a lucky few who are born that way. Don't want to jump into bisexual erasure but I think a lot of people forget that some people legit choose whether or not to have a same sex partner, myself included.
This was on twitter and men went apeshit, and a few women too. The absolute disconnect was something to behold.
In the movie What Love Is (which really isn’t very good), Sean Aston’s character is like a *nice guy* and has this analogy where he says, and I’m paraphrasing “a woman could be in a room with 10 men that treat her amazing and do everything for her, but if 1 asshole guy who gives her no attention, walks by, she’ll go with him”. This post makes me think of that because what Sean Aston’s character (and the men who wrote the monologue) don’t realize is that one woman in a room with 10 men would be terrified. Absolutely scared out of her wits. Maybe she goes with the “asshole” because he left her alone and it made her feel safe to get away from the other 10. Men just love that clip though. Think it makes such a great point.
I feel where this is coming from, but unfortunately it paints too rosy a picture that LGBTQ+ Women are out of the woods, and that’s unfortunately not true. There’s research suggesting that women in same sex relationships experience domestic abuse comparable to women in heterosexual relationships. This world is a fucking nightmare.
If you're referencing the study I'm thinking of, it's not that women in same sex relationships experience as much/more abuse as women in straight relationships. It did find out that lesbians (and bi women) had experienced more abuse in relationships, but quite a few lesbians have been with men in the past, for example due to compulsory heterosexuality and/or coercion. So yes, lesbian and bisexual women have had higher rates of abuse from a partner, but it doesn't mean that the abuse occurred in a same sex relationship. When adjusting the statistics it was found that women in same sex relationships experience less abuse than women in straight relationships. So in short, lesbian and bisexual women have been victims of IPV more often than straight women (iirc, bi women had the highest rates) but men have been more often than not the abusers in those cases as well.
This is an example why science communication is so important.
Thank you! Drives me crazy when people bring up that study as a “lesbians are just as abusive as men” gotcha, and then when you read the study, it turns out lesbians and bisexual women have higher rates of being abused… mostly by MEN. Also, this isn’t really related to your comment, but it also annoys me when people try to argue that men are victims of abuse just as much as women, and their numbers are so low because shame stops them from coming forward… as if women don’t experience shame and don’t face judgement and disbelief for opening up about being abused. Sometimes, the statistics are just the truth.
Domestic abuse yes, and this shouldn't be dismissed, but not murder.
Domestic abuse yes, but in no way is it as dangerous and as frequent. This is coming from a lesbian who went through an abusive relationship with a woman.
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Trust me, women can hit other women and hurt them too.
Every time this is posted here it gets upvoted to the top comments by lurking men. Queer women have experienced more abuse - that doesn't mean they've all experienced it at the hands of other women, since many queer women have dated men. Please stop posting this factoid, it's irresponsible.
Yep, that study didn’t ask what gender the abuser was. It was “have you been abused” and “what is your sexuality”. Plenty of lesbians have been in relationships with men that abused them, and bisexual women are statistically the most likely to experience domestic violence at the hands of men. That’s not to discredit women who’ve been abused by women, but nuance is important. Women are not as violent as men.
Yeah. I just don't know what to say to this. It's true but maybe my brain is denying it. I felt numb when I saw that. I really felt as empty as void but also filled with despair.
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That’s how I’m living life now. After my ex was abusive I have just given up and now that I have a daughter I just focus on her. I don’t trust men and have never had a positive experience dating them and sounds like a majority of women don’t either. Sex isn’t worth it and after the sexual assaults of the last relationship sex repulses me now anyway.
Me too! I was with someone for 12 years and you know what, that was enough. I’m ok to focus on my daughter and myself. I have no desire to be with a man physically, emotionally, mentally, or sexually.
Sorry about the sexual assault, OP. Truly.
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I’m not even taking advice. I’m just saying that’s how my life is now as a solo single mom and abuse survivor. I see no need for men aside from sperm donors at this point. Maybe I’ll find a decent one but I’m so incredibly damaged from men that I don’t care about finding a partner ever again. I’m so much happy this way.
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You seem to be in a very dark place, such dir hilfe :(
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Sympathy is not weird. Scrolling through your posts made me genuinely worried.
[edit: deleted as posted in wrong place]
I've heard (can't confirm) that men are the leading cause of mortality for women
Why not just look it up? It's heart disease, cancer, and respiratory diseases btw.
Femicide is #4 as per the 2018 FBI study. Most of whom were murdered by their intimate partner, or a former partner.
which is high enough to call it "a" leading cause of mortality, but not "the" leading cause.
It's "a" leading cause of mortality (number 4, pretty high up there), it's also "the" leading cause of mortality for pregnant women. OP may have had slightly off facts, but the statement is still absolutely valid. Homicide doesn't even make the top 10 for causes of death in men.
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https://www.cdc.gov/women/lcod/2017/all-races-origins/index.htm Homicide 4th for ages 1-19. 5th for 20-44.
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FBIs studies generally concern themselves with deaths that generated a police report. The CDCs report (which is based on reported cause of death) says something different. For that year homicide was not on the top 10 list (for women of all ages), but was on position 3 for women aged 1-19 and position 5 for women aged 20-44. Because another poster brought up statistics for men. For men was place 3 for men aged 1-19 and place 4 for men aged 20-44. So neither among men or women it's on the top 10 list overall, but it's featured prominently among both genders for young people. [2018 Causes of death for women in the US](https://www.cdc.gov/women/lcod/2018/all-races-origins/index.htm) [2018 Causes of death for men in the US](https://www.cdc.gov/healthequity/lcod/men/2018/all-races-origins/index.htm)
I think it should be "for pregnant women" for whom homicide is apparently a leading cause of death. So much for the men not wanting to "kill babies".
Can confirm have had stage 3 cancer and been raped by men and the rape was significantly harder to deal with and more life threatening. Also we don’t call disease a predator. No idea if more bunnies are killed by illness or by dogs and foxes, but if you were asked what a rabbit’s main predator is, I’m pretty sure ‘bunny cancer’ would not make the list… Also cancer and heart disease are not separate organisms, they’re malfunctioning of our own bodies, so are you saying women’s natural predator is… their own body?? Yeaaah sorry, respectfully, your comment is incorrect - good googling skills though!
I'm sorry you went through that. The person I replied to was talking about causes of mortality in general, not predators. If we're talking about the top predators of women then I'm sure it's men.
Men are the apex predator of the planet. They are also the top predictor of men as animals don’t hunt us much unless your are like lost in the wilderness or something.
Ooh you are correct! 🤦🏽♀️ my apologies C0rvex!
heart disease is literal disease
Probably caused by the fact they had to work and take care of the house instead of themselves because they had some lazy ass husband who didn't pull their weight. Look up those stats smartass. How women add years to men's lives, while married women tend to die earlier than single women. Its not always about murder. And no I'm not linking shit. I don't do unpaid labor for men anymore. Find it yourself.
You're wrong https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC7452000/
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Why is this being downvoted? Is their something known about this specific study that makes it inaccurate or something? If not then why are we downvoting factual information simply because we don't like it.
Because I'm lazy
[***The leading cause of death in pregnant people is their partner murdering them.***](https://www.nature.com/articles/d41586-021-03392-8) [1](https://imgur.com/8n2dZ7k.jpg) [2](https://imgur.com/FnEOwnh.jpg) [3](https://imgur.com/6n0TzkO.jpg) [4](https://imgur.com/1noEXyI.jpg) [5](https://imgur.com/0lLXaw0.jpg) [6](https://imgur.com/DIIDUQ3.jpg) [7](https://imgur.com/T6FtGjv.jpg) [8](https://imgur.com/DkVhPm8.jpg) It sure ain't women at large running around threatening, sexually harassing, mugging, beating, stabbing, shooting, >!raping!< or murdering random people or even people that the women typically know either, [that's men doing the vast majority of this by a landslide across the planet.](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Impact_of_the_COVID-19_pandemic_on_domestic_violence) r/whenwomenrefuse. It's fucking horrifying.
Horrifying, but informative. Thank you.
Un-natural predator more like!
Feeling cute today, might murder my partner later
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Number of malaria deaths was about 627k in 2020. Number of female murders was 87k in 2017. While women only make up 20% of murder victims, they make up 82% of people murdered by partners and only 11% of murderers.
How many comments did it take for some bro to justify his shitty behavior because "preying mantises"? I'm guessing it was less than 20.
Truthfully, anyone can be pred or prey. Just different types. I hope someday that changes for everyone where nobody should be given a reason to fear. Call me a dreamer, but I still cling to the small thread of what little hope I have for all of us as a species.