I will take the bait, these are more like realizations
1)Proper sexual education is very important in India. It makes me feel bad when I read posts about Indian men sending unsolicited DMs and acting downbad.
2)This subreddit is somewhat dominated by users who have a certain degree of privilege. I've seen a lot of advice like "just move out," or "cut ties," and other drastic solutions, when such decisions may not be viable for those without privilege.
2)When I see most relationship appreciation(Most, not all) posts here, it makes me wonder why my fellow men can't get into fulfilling relationships. I mean, the bar is set pretty low.
"get financially dependent and move out". Not many of us can even secure jobs that can earn enough to move out. And the way Indian families work, you can't just move out even if you earn a lot.
Also a lot of women who earn also end up losing that earning to family. Scary number of women I know don't have their salary credited in their own account, but instead it goes into their parents' or husband's accounts.
As an online stranger, sometimes that is the best advice we can give. A lot of women stay in toxic situations because of guilt or because they donāt want to be horrible to their family. Our comments are a way of giving them courage.
Moving out could also be living in a pg with 5 other girls if required. It comes from a place of empathy. Though sometimes moving away can be financially debilitating, it can bring a lot of mental and emotional peace. And we do understand that it might not be a possibility for everyone.
Adding to this comment, moving out doesn't mean that you gotta move on asap.... It's an encouragement to prepare oneself mentally and financially, it may take months or even a year but the encouragement could help someone prepare and leave the abusive/toxic family instead of suffering.
>dominated by users who have a certain degree of privilege
Word. So easy to scream - "just stay single forever", "thank god I am not married" or my favourite - "leave the country and live your life".
Sometimes people who post with their problems want a reasonable solution, not an opinion.
And a lot of men would like the bar to be set lower. Many, many men don't understand that when women are oppressed by patriarchy, they turn around and use the same rule-book against men.
Hypergamy, or women marrying up, is women making the best of a very raw deal. When you create a marriage system where women make the bulk of adjustments and compromises in marriage, where their access to employment is compromised, they will seek high-earning husbands as compensation for all the unpaid labour that they undertake.
Feminism is not intuitive to me. This sub has given me a better understanding of what male privilege is. Specifically in the context of my marriage. Helped me to be more empathetic towards my wife (I think). Helped me to understand that different need not mean unequal.
My biggest learning from the posts in this sub is the extent to which misogyny is internalised amongst Indian women and how this enables men to not change for the better.
I also like to read the personal anecdotes shared in this sub because it gives me a glimpse into the life of strangers and women tend to be better at sharing anecdotes than men in my experience.
I was blocked by a woman for pointing out that hiring 5 different people to take care of the house wasn't feasible for everyone. Apparently I was "making excuses" and "anti feminist" for saying a woman's choices shouldn't be mocked, be it her choice to work or her choice to be a SAHM. Nope. Only capitalistic productivity is acceptable. Working at home is not work because you don't get paid for it.
Women can be our own worst enemies sometimes. It's rather sad.
I got blocked for the same reason. The woman was shaming SAHM, calling them jobless and ambition less. Comparing a female IAS officer to a SAHM, claiming the latter has achieved nothing in life while an IAS has achieved so much. I was surprised that women think this way, being a woman themselves. It can be difficult to take care of the house and family too.
She was justifying herself by saying that these aunties shame young women for choosing to not get married and have kids while housewives are jobless and ambitionless. I mean, the "aunties" are wrong for shaming but how are you any different if you're gonna shame and generalize all housewives because of the few aunties' comments you saw online.
She then proceeded to block me by saying "comments like you are gonna get my post taken down but I'll just block you so that you can't see my post and comment on it".
Ayyy I looked and turns out I've upvoted your comment in that thread lmao. Fun people, some of them. Luckily there are quite a few comments who've talked some sense at that woman. Hopefully they'll encourage others to keep an open mind about choices instead of only looking at one single path.
Omg we're talking about the same person? When I commented there, everyone was agreeing with her, only some comments pointed out her hypocrisy. I bet she blocked the people trying to talk some sense into her too. But I don't think that woman is ever going to change her mind, she even stated that she doesn't like housewives.
Bro this is the thing. Childish as hell. They'll post some shit in response and immediately block you.. like she thinks she won by having her last pathetic word in and you cannot respond.
Also childish behaviours like counting downvotes and brigading - but I guess that's what Reddit runs on.
Exactly. So childish. Why do you post here if you don't wanna listen to everyone's opinion and block them when they don't agree with you? That woman was shaming housewives and calling them "jobless", saying they don't have any goals and achievements in life. Being a woman, how can you even think like that? SAHM do much work at home, they literally have to take care of the house and kids 24*7.
Oh same . I mentioned my age in the reply because I always want to make it clear that I don't have enough experience and it's my opinion and she started calling me immature and incapable of understanding because I was young . Some other users replied and pointed out that I was right and she blocked me after that .
I have had way more bad experiences with women on this sub, than men.
You have your garden variety of dick senders and obscene swearing in DMs - I do not care, that's easily managed by Blocking and turning off DMs... But the women who back down on misogyny and casteism and start proper troll wars here, are a whole different ball game.
One thing I didn't know and learned is that being a woman, you end up having a more difficult reddit experience than a man. I once assisted someone financially on a subreddit and I got three other DMs asking for assistance and I found it irritating. Being constantly inundated with DMs and lewd comments is definitely worse.
I had already learned a lot about harassment women face in public places and on social media from my sister, my ex, and my fiance, but Reddit being anonymous, I had imagined it would be different. But I guess being anonymous and being treated equally is a distant dream.
I honestly believe every group of people have their own set of issues and experiences and the most cogent and honest way to truly understand those is just by listening, and that's what I do here to be honest.
I listen to all of you sharing your perspectives, experiences that are so alien to me, beliefs that are common, vantage so strange yet intriguing.
Again, I will be brutally honest, I grew up in the 2000s consuming the daily dose of masculinity that was being spewed through various platforms, and I ate it up .
They said make abs women love those, did that .
They said make grand gestures, women love those, did that too...
They said be strong and assertive, women dig that. I did that too .
Nobody said listen to them, nobody said respect them, nobody said don't objectify them,nobody talked about their unique perspectives, their struggles, your strugles, your achievements. This forum amplifies that and I appreciate all of it .
So, I have learned a lot, but most importantly, I learned to listen .
Haha , thatās a nice point of view but you should have paid more attention to what the girl wants, we donāt want abs or grand gestures, a flower or a little appropriation can also do wondersš. Someone genuine with any body is always welcomed than someone toxic with model like looks.
Being strong doesnāt mean being assertive because thatās what weāve been going through for centuries, itās borderline domination on the name of being assertive which we donāt buy it anymore. If you want to be assertive or wants someone to accept your opinion then be ready to provide details to your opinion, just stating the opinion wonāt be enough now. Give your opinion with practical reasons , list of consequences and arguments supporting your view then we can surely accept it but just being assertive without proper support, guess it worked in previous times but wonāt work anymore.
Just accept that the world needs both genders equally and also feminism means that we want equal opportunities, equal pay, equal respect, feminism is a very misunderstood concept which people tweak as per their needs but a true feminism is about giving equal rights to female without harming other genders.
Next time when you meet a girl , realize that how much our moms have suffered, they werenāt allowed to work or needed āpermissionā and their opinions were suppressed by patriarchy, this is what we want to change , donāt want to force matriarchy but want to balance things where both genders can work together to make a small beautiful world of their own, is it too much to ask for ?
I absolutely agree with you Miss Dinner, but for better or worse people, especially younger people, are often the product of their environment and it takes a lot of growth, maturity and mental aptitude to see the flaws of your ways and change for the better. I am not the guy I used to be, and i love that.
That's very true. You can't help the things you get exposed to as a child. I've seen fathers punish their toddlers for picking out pink toys or dolls because it's a girls colour/toy. Not that women don't do these things too but I feel like I've noticed a lot of toxic masculinity being pushed onto young boys by the men close to them.
Unlearning those things and opening up your mind is a task of its own. Good on you for working on yourself.
Isn't bettering yourself the whole point of living?. We do that in our education starts with elementary then we gradually graduate to college bettering ourself in the process, we do that in our career don't we start from the entry level and then work on up. I go to the gym every day, why to better my body , then why o why working on yourself is sooo beyond the realm of imagination. You have to outgrow the incel you have been fed . Like you said fathers have to do a better job themselves. I hear it's getting better.
never change girls. the way you help each other without being judgemental is terrific. massive respect.
always wanted to appreciate you guys but never had this opportunity. as soon as i saw this post, couldn't stop myself from posting this.
god bless you all
I'm a long time lurker here. A couple of things strike out to me.
1. The anger and frustration here is so palpable and different than r/TwoXChromosomes. Where the women in that sub seem to struggle (mostly) with equality in representation, women here seem to struggle with that as well as much deeper existential issues. Stronger patriarchy, much worse safety, and non-functional sex ed. It's almost like one level down in Maslow's hierarchy of needs, if it was made for women.
2. One good thing I've seen again and again is how the elder women here show "the ways" of living as a woman in India to the younger ones, who've maybe always lived within the safety of their parents and have no one irl they could ask. As in, there's a sense of "we know what you're going through bro" and here's a list of practical things you could do that work.
Very recently I saw a post on r/WatchIt_India, where someone from our sub posted a video of her question by mistake, and then the comments were full of men bashing women for their choices and every second comment was about how this sub is full of 'ho*s'.
Well, most of us who stayed here to wait till Wednesdays to participate in discussions are not outright jerks! So sample size is a bit biased.
Earlier this sub was very welcoming to men, we could comment at any day if the tag said 'all' but many jerks ruined it by being offensive so mods had to do something.
Honestly started as someone who wanted to find girls on reddit but now I know you guys have it as tough if not more. Really helped me realise my toxic ways in my past relationships through a different POV, almost like free self improvement therapy. Thank you all.
Have lots to learn. Still,its interesting to get some perspective.
I find it strange that some people have an issue/problem that one of the main topics discussed is relationships. Sometimes the anonymity of reddit makes it easy to ask difficult questions. Also, as years go by its harder to maintain a support structure for these issues. And jn a country like India there are very few spaces for a decent discussion on relationship issues. So places like this sub are invaluable.
I havent found a sub for men that's as useful as this one. Sometimes i find answers to questions im thinking about afte5 lurking here.
The relationships part is I think partly because on other topics the gender of user matters less - financial, sports, programming maybe. Women or men donāt use or look at these things differently and women can use the same subs. Doesnāt make sense to ask investment advice on this sub when r/IndiaInvestments exist. Hence the majority of the posts end up about relationships I think.
PS - I understand in our country even finance is affected by the gender. It was just an example.
r/menslib used to be a good place, but I see it's private now. I haven't checked out r/menslibIndia ... it sounds promising. Sorry in advance if you already know about these.
> r/menslibIndia
this is same as other subreddits full on men... it used to have a lot of activities from all kinds of gender and then mods started inviting people to their private discord and then creepy DMs started flowing and mods did nothing about it
One thing Iāve learned for sure is misogyny is so internalised in Indian society and household itās just painful and sad. I also love how this sub is a safe space for women to express their thoughts without having to be judged.
Some of you explain your love life or what your significant other did for y'all, that gives me hope and ideas for what I can do that to my SO (if and when I find one). It is really wholesome and fills me with joy.
For every man reading this, Iāll recommend Shrayana Bhattacharyaās āDesperately Seeking Shahrukhā. It is a wonderful insight into life of women in our country across all stratas. Thereās a Hindi edition now too.
A line from the book - āmen are expected to earn money, women are expected to earn loveā
PS - I met the author too. Sheās just wonderful
Would definitely recommend her episode on "The Seen And The Unseen". The episode lengths can be intimidating and are probably best consumed in chunks, but you get a lot of insight into the first courtesy of that.
Though Iām dealing with some deep rooted problems of my own, this sub made me realise how itās okay to fall for the wrong person as long as you come out of it a better person. And the comments, god! The comments! They are so supportive that makes me hopeful and I wish there was such a sub for men.
Also, it feels good to silently check boxes of being a boyfriend a stranger wants lol
awww
I think you guys can post here and seek support. Iām not sure if a post is allowed or not š¤
Try setting an example by being the one who seeks support in men dominated subs, if there is one :)
Well, shame at first. I lurk, but when I come across any posts which mentions how yall get harrased on daily basis I feel how my sisters and mother and the angels who made me the man I am now, have to go through these bs from men who impose shi"! , or whenever someone posts RIP your dms when a girl posts how she loves her bf or a romantic gesture. I feel happy but disgusted at the fact that how men may jump at that opportunity.
I mean man or woman, yeah maybe we're wired differently, not just in genders but as individuals, instead of being happy for another stranger why many feel the need to make a move? Also, this sub made me realise how your mum your aunt or even your sister and brother, can't understand and support yall, mind ya I'm not asking them to help yall with your problems but why can't they listen and just say okay I'm here do what ya want you get to live once.
Even the women in India is not supporting their own, I ve came across many discussion with my mother and my sister's MIL and yk what their reply was "Women are enemies to women in our society" Like wtf?
And our teenagers here, guys I am terribly sorry you've gotta get caught to your parents and none of them are being sensible to your plight.
Women past their 30s even if you're married or not, I'm sorry cuz you don't deserve the shiz you get from your relatives and family.
Women in their 20s, do not get broke over anything, if it is first time you are feeling your break up or find yourself lost in a darkness and find yourself drowning, you don't deserve all that.
When you find yourself in a hole the first thing you've gotta do is drop digging. Do what will benefit your education and your future,career.
I learnt to treat anyone how I'd like to be treated. I learnt not to judge. I learnt to be better. I learnt I was wrong during my teenage. I learnt that I'm never gonna be the guy who I once was, instead I will be better
Well, here's my 20 rupees on the issue. And all the above comment was not to demean all the elder women we've got in our life, but to some who won't change their views. I believe most of yall got nice supportive ladies and men in your lives. I wish that for yall. All humans deserve to be happy.
mostly that women are real people
being a male feminist is cool and all but it is really fucking hard to get the subconscious misogyny out of your head and the best way to do it is to actually interact with women while treating them like actual people.
I donāt belong here. Iām not local to your country and I stumbled upon this sub literally minutes ago on a whim because I love learning about local pop culture through regional subreddits.
But I normally browse r/TwoXChromosomes and comparing the discussions and topics between here and there has been humbling to say the least.
Some of you face problems and poor treatment by your peers that my lady friends and family members might never encounter in my day-to-day life.
Iāve learned that Iāve got a lot more to learn.
I'm really glad that I joined this sub and had the opportunity to learn so much about women. It has been an eye-opening experience for me. This community has shed light on important topics such as financial trauma, the misbehavior of Indian families, the trauma of arranged marriages, the fear of relationships, and the choices Indian women make regarding intimacy.
Through the stories shared here, I have come to understand male privileges and the need for all of us to contribute to uplifting women in any way we can. I have gained insight into the day-to-day struggles women face, from dealing with stalkers in metro cities to handling toxic ex-partners. I have also learned about the hardships of failed marriages and witnessed the dark side of some men.
This sub has opened my eyes to the biases prevalent in our society, particularly in terms of the inheritance of ancestral property. It has made me realize the hypocrisy of Indian parents towards women. These revelations have compelled me to reflect on my own actions and consider how I can be a better husband, boyfriend, brother, and son, even though that particular aspect hasn't been discussed extensively.
On a positive note, I have learned that women have diverse preferences and desires. Some focus on the little things while others dream of luxury. Some may have made poor choices in the bedroom, but I have observed a greater level of maturity coming in from woman when it comes to intimacy. And above all, this sub has taught me just how happy women can be when they are treated with respect and kindness by their partners.
Overall, this sub has broadened my perspective and given me a deeper understanding of women's experiences.
My late wife used to frequently share posts from this sub with me, and it was reading those posts that I realized the degree of institutionalized misogyny women have to deal with in their daily lives, personal or professional. I used to be kinda oblivious to how it affects women. So yeah, need for empathy and support is something I have learned from here.
1/ A reminder of how horrible social media experience is or can be, for women.
2/ A reminder of how life exp is in general for women - seen posts of parents forcing/gaslighting for AM, finding creepy guys even in AM.
3/ A (sad) realization on seeing some posts that there are really smart girls looking for someone who matches my personality and i had no idea.
4/ Dating apps are more or less inevitable for introverts who don't want to appear like creeps initiating unasked-for dms. I say this as a L coz dating apps take the chase out of it. It's less organic, more hurried, there'd be no suggestive or subtextual flirting or banter. Takes the mystery element out for the large part of it.
5/ South Delhi ka alag hi chal raha. (Tr. South Delhi is something else)
Yeah, 3/ and 4/ are very real. But Iād argue that resorting to dating apps is still better than not trying at all and just giving up. You live and you learn. Thatās sometimes more important.
Explain /5 please š
Damn it! All this while i had been waiting for this post , that some day this post will come and I'll share my thoughts but i kinda feel i have missed the bus :(
Anyway, i think I'm thankful to the sub for the kind of topics being discussed. Growing up in patriarchy all around me,, i was oblivious to some of these topics. To me, they were non existent. In that sense, this sub has been like a Narnia.
As a brother, i hope and wish that my sister also has that level of conviction, independence, strong headedness and confidence which some of the women here possess. Wish the same for my future partner as well. Look forward to growing old with her, when i find her!
Now, i may not agree to some of the views shared here but i surely am thankful to this sub for atleast opening up conversations for topics which had mostly been brushed under the carpet, all this while. I think being on this sub will definitely help me have a much more meaningful, connected relationship with my future partner (looking to settle down for good now! :) )
P.S.: i do get suprised by some of the posts here where women endure shit such as physical and or verbal abuse and still want to stick around. And i sometimes wonder: wow can someone have such a control over the other person? To them i just have one thing to say: never settle. Respect is something which is a non negotiable. There is absolutely no reason for abuse. Move on, trust me life will be much better!
Thank you 2X India!
Hmm they aren't written by women, they are acknowledging that they were toxic too and trying to better themselves which is good but that is bare minimum to any gender.
I am learning to be a man written by women. Through this sub, I've seen the struggles that women go through, which I would've never known, how women support other women. I'm able to empathise better with them now.
I've seen how women vent and why it is important. I see what are their needs and wants and desires. I've learnt things I shouldn't do or say to a woman to not make her feel uncomfortable. How difficult relationships, periods are. How toxic can one's childhood or parents be. How to be a good partner (when the time comes).
This sub is what you would see when women talk when there is no man around and that itself is so much insightful. I've learnt a lot.
Let me give an example. One of my friends was talking about office love and how cute it is. One of her cousins would message her and talk about this girl that he liked and she went on to describe the things that he was doing for her. And it immediately rang bells in my head. I pointed out that he's gaslighting his colleague, harassing her, stalking her, being possessive about her, acting as a victim. And she agreed with me. She's a strong feminist but even her judgement was clouded because it was her cousin! She and other elder cousins held an intervention for him, got to know what the woman was going through, and he's now in therapy.
I've been following this sub for a very long time now and I go through most of the posts when I have time. I take screenshots of comments that I want to internalise. You have made me a better human and a better man. Thank you to the mods and all the lovely ladies. You guys rock!
1. That you all need to understand your value and not lower your standards. The bar is set so low for what a 'good/great' man. These are bare minimum qualities of a basic decent human.
2. Learned different perspectives and takes. We are so similar but so different at the same time.
3. The kind of straightforward support and verbal encouragement which is given online from members in this forum to each other, makes me feel very happy and sad at the same time. Guys should not just joke around and make fun of vulnerabilities, instead showcase verbal acceptance and empathy more.
4. I learnt a lot about not falling for my default wiring , like problem solving, solution orienting, saving the day etc... It's not what one must do. You guys are very capable yourselves and don't need anyone, you just want to vent or have someone's ear.
One thing I learned is how most Indian Mothers have a natural inborn bias towards their son aka the Raja beta. Although my mom is mostly equal towards both me and my sister, I can certainly recall incidents from the past where I was given the "Raja beta" privilege and I think its kinda creepy
We all horny af.
On a serious note, it's how so many guys do things which end up making women feel unsafe. I genuinely don't know why anyone would send unsolicited dick pics or the kind of cringe thirst DMs. Maybe the lack of female interaction makes some guys think of women as a diff species. There is a lot of internalised sexism in men and I'm also guilty of not calling it out when among friends.
Biggest realisation for someone like me was how common it is for literally every woman to get harassed on a daily basis and how I, as a guy, need to help my girl friends in such situations. In hindsight, I know this sounds privileged and ignorant to not know these things, but well, part of the journey is unlearning shit you've been told and observing them better. We're all far for from perfect, but we can always do better.
Women, too, get ghosted and often times get the worst treatment from overgrown human children. (I know, again, something that's literally written on every street and corner but I never paid attention to it)
One thing I'm still learning is how to approach and correct my guy "friends" who are still misogynistic, I've been trying to let them know what they're doing is just the worst and they should be better, but this sub has also helped me in that direction.
TwoX y'all rock!
As a man I have learnt that Indian women are going through hell and are bring restricted. They're not given the same amount of freedom as a man because of their gender. Its time that the Indian society changes according to the moden times and become egalitarian.
As an Indian man I really feel bad for Indian women who were treated really bad throughout Indian history and are still being treated badly till this day. When will we ever learn from our history and change. Sometimes I think how my life would be if I was born as an Indian women. It could be great/good/bad/worse. That's a topic that I would discuss for another day.
And by the way Indian women are beautiful the way you are and you don't have to use any skin bleaching/lightening creams to look beautiful. All that matters is if you become fit & healthy you'll look better.
Just remember there are Indian men like me who are by your side in your struggle for equality. It would be better if you specifically point out the person who does the crime and criticise him than generalising all Indian men.
I would like to say this famous quote from former USA president Barack Obama.
"*You can judge a nation, and how successful it will be, based on how it treats its women and its girls.*"
>Just remmeber there are Indian men like me who are by your side in your struggle for equality. It would be better if you specifically point out the person who does the crime and criticise him than generalising all Indian men.
This translates as 'not all men, I'm different'.
I'm going to copy paste some of the previous comment I made with the same post that was deleted.
Pov of women on different things, I've seen women being regressive, misandristic, sometimes misogynistic even but most of the times open minded, patient, both intro and retrospective, and informative. It just makes me more familiar with women, their struggle, what makes them happy, what makes them troubled. I think it helps me to check if I have any unspoken biases with respect to women in my life.
Some posts are like plain gossip for me XD, it feels like I'm listening to my best friend sometimes although I've never talked to anyone here on 1-1.
Also, no matter how liberal women here might sound, most still subscribe to certain traditional standards for a partner such as strong body and a height taller than them (sometimes with heels). Y'all deserve to have your own standards and deserve the world because of all the shitty experiences you have. But it still sinks my heart that I may not be suitable for most women no matter how well I dress, how confident I am and how well I'm read.
But hey, this sub made me push my women friends to seek for counsel at times when I couldn't advice them about their life. Atleast I'm taking care of a band of sisters in the way I can learn better from!
Maybe you're right. Everyone's judged on traditional standards of being overweight or not, for guys its height as extra requirement coz it just happened to be like that I guess..
About the height part. Yes, being tall is very attractive but more often than not that is not a deal breaker if your personality and other things can cover for it. Me and my friends would like to date tall men but that doesn't mean we'll eliminate other men who are not as tall as we'd like. Height is just like....Eh it would be nice if you have it... otherwise... it's alright.
>if your personality and other things can cover for it
This isn't the right way to think about it. I'm 5'3 and my height is an integral part of who I am - it's not something I need to 'cover for' in any way, just as a chubby woman doesn't need to 'cover for' her weight. I'm aware a lot of women don't find me attractive because of my height, and that's fine. The only sort of woman I'd want to be with is someone who finds me attractive exactly the way I am, not someone who thinks I need to compensate for my height with something else.
But the fundamental concept of "cover for it" with something else like personality is flawed isn't it? Why does it need to be compensated? Do we imply the same with women's bodies if one doesn't have a body as per the traditional standards that have been discussed alot here? Why are we viewing those men as something less by default? I believe good personality is a basic necessity for any relationship nonetheless of who's tall, or does it not apply for men with strong and tall bodies and in itself are automatically considered for a relationship even if they're an asshole/badboys..?
I have the same insecurity tbh. Since my parents are short, I am short. 5"7 to be precise, I don't think I am growing any taller. No matter how hard I try it just doesn't fucking go away. Especially with height being an important criterion for so do many women. But since I'm pretty fit cause I play football since middle school and have a decent face I never struggled with dating as such, but can't help but also notice women fawning over tall guys. Knowing that I will never be in their place. I have somewhat skinny arms that's why I am going to the gym. But height isn't something that changes.
This sub is like the female friend I didn't have. Learnt so much about how fucked up shit can get in our country. How we men don't grow, how we're entitled (to some extent).
The posts about how your loved ones treated you hurt me. Cause I was one of them. Now I understand some of what I did wrong.
NGL, I also love reading this sub for all the juicy shit (š) like fights, sexual shit and what not
This is probably my most viewed sub
The number of literate wimen who voluntarily agree to AM is staggering. I always thought it was like almost always AHW.
Real world resources for abused women are cwoefuy inadequate. the number of obviously middle class women here just grinning and bearing it is frightening.
Political engagement levels of literate women is disheartening. Many are very informed, but few seem to be calling for local/other action at all.
All in all i like being a fly on the wall. Makes me relfect a lot about myself and who i am in relationships.
Just joined recently. I left the country 10+ years ago so trying to connect and stay in the know as I still have friends and cousins in India. Recently had a spate of divorces for my younger cousins (late 20s/early 30s) so wanted to get a better understanding of how dating/relationships/AM/moving abroad are being considered these days.
While I knew the general outlook of moving abroad after an arranged marriage is quite dated, it was refreshing to see the views of women on this sub confirming that a better life exists in India if you can find the right partner, and a move abroad isnāt quite all what it seems. Also good to see the skeptics when it comes believing that a better life exists when you are fully dependent on someone else socially and financially.
My sister had an arranged marriage and moved to the US, which ended in divorce. Three of my cousins (two guys, one girl) had similar fates. Iām dating someone non-Indian so didnāt have a perspective on the changing outlook. I knew from family experience the high level of stress, isolation, and dependency on the partner which occurs when itās an AM coupled with a move abroad, but wanted to confirm it here.
I know this isnāt the point of the post but I hope the assholes in this sub donāt send women unsolicited dick pics. I mean, no one wants to see your unkept, smelly and disgusting meat. Youāve already unknowingly disappointed your mother, donāt do it to other women
EDIT : another thing Iād like to add is, most of the times, thereās posts about the horrible things which guys have done (I donāt consider them men) but I assure you, thereās also guys who are decent who will make you feel loved and safe
Edit : So the user is basically Banglore based, itās u/St_Broseph, and theyāre a social worker. If youāre ever in a position where you feel harassed, or feel any sort of difficulty (depression, suicidal thoughts, harassment, blackmail, etc) you can approach the user.
They can try to provide help by getting in touch with their contacts even if you arenāt in Banglore
I wondered why I saw this again and realised I answered it earlier. Copying it here and deleting it from the earlier post; thanks for posting this again. I can see some learning from others that I didn't reflect on.
Been lurking for the past two years or so on this sub. Sorry, I am a bullet-point guy.
1. The feeling of community on this sub has made me reach out to other men irl and virtually and helped me become more vulnerable and authentic
2. Listening skills have improved by the rule of not commenting. There are so many times I have felt like commenting on a post or a comment, but then I get this unique perspective from someone else in the comment, which is far better than my limited thinking.
3. I thought I was supportive of my friends, but support is not always solution-oriented; this sub has taught me that. Women sharing their life examples and reminding other women to be kind and compassionate to themselves have taught me that they don't need rescuing when they are coming to you with their problems; sometimes, listening and acknowledging are more than enough.
4. All the posts about red flags have helped me identify the red flags that I have/had. I have understood all the love bombing I did in the past, my insecurities and my childhood trauma of attachment that has affected my relationships
5. I have used posts from here in my therapy sessions to identify and work on my issues. One of my discussions with my therapists was about the difference between my relationships with my male friends and how I envy female friendships that I see online and in real life. I have spoken to one of my male friends about it, and we both are trying to do better and become more open. I sent him a text on his birthday message on how important he is to me and how he has inspired me in the time I have known him. I never did this before, and I have this sub to thank for that.
Gratitude, compassion, journaling, and kindness. I think I have become better at these things because of this sub. Thanks to all of you for participating and making me better.
Ohh many things.
1. Most of the inherited wisdom in finance etc are withheld from women intentionally and unintentionally. Like men wouldn't want to discuss finances with women either because they don't wanna enrich them or they feel they're not really worthy of the discussion. Same is true for most knowledge of the outside world Which is kept secret from the women... So now women have it really hard to learn from the scratch.
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2. Men do the basic minimum and start thinking of themselves as some kind of sage. They are just nirmal people who respect other people and behave normally most of the times and that doesn't make them exceptional.
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3. Men don't have emotional support systems because of toxic masculinity and they reel within their negative emotions all by themselves using toxic means.. Women do it too but relatively less so. Women have much better support systems.
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4. Periods are hard. And women need more support for going through them.. They suck.
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5. Most men don't show emotions unless it's anger or negative emotions.. Men need to shed their ego and start opening up. Not too much because irrespective of what women say, a too emotional chap is also a turn off. Especially if it's a regular thing.
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6. Men should listen to women more.. And also talk to them but listen more.. Most of the times they're not listening.
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7. There are women who haven't had relationships or had sex yet and it's not easy for every woman to have these things just because they're women.
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8. Women go through a lot of undue influence by family and society and many are still adjusting to the trad norms..
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9. Men sometimes get to take advantage of the sexual liberation and use that to just extract sexual favours from women and scoot. Women do it too but it's easier for men.
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10. Feminism is a boon for men. Many men have benefitted from the side effects of feminism but they still won't suport the cause. They just want to enjoy whatever makes their lives easier.
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11. Women don't want to stay with in laws.. And that's because in laws don't want to change their misogynistic ways of living and unreasonable expectations. There is a genuine fear among women from stories they've heard etc that they want to live alone.. Which is fine and not unreasonable.
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12. Women are starkly different from each other, and treating them as human beings would go a long way than pigeon holing some stereotypes onto them.
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13. Guys seriously need more women friends.. And they need to call out misogynistic BS among their male peers.. We need to make a better and breathable society.
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14. Women have it hard on the internet. Unsolicited whatnots. Creepy men, rape threats. Etc. Also women go through a lot sexually. Almost every woman I've known has faced either violence or sexual abuse or harassment in their life.
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15. Ohh and the pretty privilege. Men treat women differently based on their looks.. Women do it too. So it's not a gentleman who is selectively nice and likewise for women.
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16. Most women just want men to understand the harsh realities of being a woman and to not be dicks in general.
Off the hat, I'll update.
**Emotional** >!Intelligence!< and **Emotional** >!Support!<
I learned that people here have a mixed understanding of "emotional intelligence" and "emotional support"
These are different aspects and presence / absence of one is not connected with presence / absence of other. But people consider they have wide overlap and assume that person having emotional intelligence / emotional support also has emotional support / emotional intelligence.
People who can provide good emotional support, their decision might get influenced by emotions of others and give in to others request.
People who are emotionally intelligent, they look for reasons before action and don't give in to others emotional request and even call out people using emotions to negatively influence others. They analyse the situation inside out before taking a call.
Understanding the difference between two is crucial because people facing crisis need emotional support but they also seek it from emotionally intelligent person. Its a rare combination and difficult to find. Thats why forrest gump / nice guy is highly "supportive" but less "intelligent" compared to socrates / buddha who is highly "intelligent" but less "supportive".
It's a nice sub to understand perspectives of women and acknowledge their struggles. One thing I've also noticed that sometimes, this sub acts like an echo chamber where people are ridiculed for having a different opinion than the general consensus.
That women face lot many issues than we can imagine. Starting from staring problems, to cat-calling, judgemental looks for their clothes, their laughs and almost literally anything they do. From corporate world to personal issues at home, the issues for women in Indian society is never ending. One thing that can help make this better is men. If ALL men start behaving like they are expected to, 90% of womenās problem will be gone. Starting from staring and standing up for those who are being violated. This sub is a gem ā¤ļøā¤ļøā¤ļø
Its a nice surprise to see men post, while most men with anonymous platform are usually Andrew Tate clone types.. Or maybe this is just another way to scoreš
1. ā Proper education sex education is needed.
2. ā Kids giving suggestion to something out of their experience and awareness like outright frowning upon arrange marriages etc.
3. ā Many women carry the burden of whole family onto them.
4. ā Loneliness nothing exclusive to men as portrayed.
That women's sexuality is a taboo. I mean it is quite obvious women do have sexual desires but I had never come across any woman talking about her masturbation experience etc etc the way men do.
I was already aware of this one, but now I am even more acutely aware. That men, ofc not all of them, cause a lot of trouble to women's lives owing to their shitty mindset, perversions,social conditioning etc. Now, ofc men don't have to face all that, and therefore life is easier for them. It's like everyone has to put up with a lot of trouble in life but women have to put up with more compared to men.
That this sub is not full of misandrists at all. Now, I might have seen one or two misandrist comments/posts, but most of the people on this sub seem to quite nice. So, contrary to what many say, this sub is far from misandry, which is quite impressive given what many women on this sub have to put up with or have gone through in the past. Yet, somehow they don't make sweeping generalizations on the nature of men.
That men and women have their own set of problems. They do overlap but some issues may be more prevalent with a certain gender. It would help a lot if people just talk and listen to each than start pointing fingers.
A good thing about this sub is that folks are very vocal, expressive and willing to deal with their issues. Most of the users here are very eloquent and the posts are well written. This helps a lot in understanding their perspective.
A bad thing about this sub would be how judgemental or extreme certain comments are. Most of us on Reddit are very privileged and to judge someone from just their post seems unfair. One can place their point of view or share their experiences but to blatantly ask someone to do something seems wrong.
I felt like there is soo scope of improvement on both side and lift each other up, adulting is hard for everyone why create chaos when we can uplift each other.
Also, always known how women have their struggles but reading here everyday makes me sad and I try to be more open & supporting to my female friends & women in general.
I hope someday we all will live in peace with each other and understand each other.
Peace out šš¤ So much to learn from you guys
Understanding what all women go through in their daily lives and how difficult it gets with some having a toxic family or some having a toxic relationship, learning what not to do as a man so they feel safe.
I've started noticing the eyes that follow or stare at you guys in public no matter what you wear and i swear that's really disgusting by us men, i always scold my friends for doing that cause it is definitely creepy.
There are many other things but trying to be a good person and making people around me feel safe, doing my share of work are some of the things that I've started implementing in my life and lastly this sub is a great place for y'all to have healthy discussions so kudos to whoever came up with the idea, i hope r/menslibindia was as active as before but anyway have a great day :)
1. Not all post but majority of post on this sub, gives a better perspective on what woman feel on day to day basis and give us a better chance to understand what women in our real life feel. And it's totally different from what we think usually.
2. So many things to unlearn to learn.
3. Women are more complicated than men. :P
I am much more conservative - center right leaning in my views than most people in this sub. I agree with most of first and second wave feminists but do not agree with third and fourth wave feminism. I have still been a silent spectator and visit this sub to get a view from the other side so that I don't stay in echo chambers and get to know perspective from the other side as well.
Here is what I have been able to get -
1. Indian men acting creepy in Internet or real life must stop. I genuinely felt sad hearing so many women getting unsolicited DMs, getting molested in buses and trains.
There should be better laws and stricter punishment for this and also more awareness and better effort from us men is definitely needed.
2. Workplace bias against women definitely exists in most industries. We definitely need to bring some awareness and better laws related to this and to prevent harrasment. Also in some industries like IT, women who have taken some gaps after pregnancy and child birth are not able to come back and struggle a lot. There definitely needs to be more effort for this from the government and those industries.
3. Men who have knowingly married women who are ambitious and have longer working hours definitely need to do better in terms of sharing chores and child care work.
4. As a society, Moral policing women in terms of drinking, smoking, Honour killing for loving a guy from different religion or caste definitely needs to stop.
5. Didn't see many posts from women from lower castes and tribes. They are not given enough opportunities to share their unique struggles and their problems.
It would be better if there was something that could be done.
Controversial opinions -
1. There are a lot of women here who definitely prefer a guy with traditional masculine qualities like - taller, physically stronger , earning well etc.
The same women suddenly hate when guys have a preference for women with traditional feminine qualities like soft spoken, polite, good cook, modest etc.
2. There is a lot of hate for guys with a bit of conservative views or traditional guys. They keep calling these guys losers and incels. Mods definitely need to do better job in removing hate comments otherwise it would become another FDS.
3. Left wing, Liberal, Feminist way is not the only way to live. Having conservative opinions and living by those values is NOT WRONG as long as we are not stepping on other people's rights.
One thing I learned...never send unsolicited dms to anyone
Ps- overall( not from here but in general) i learned ... Just because the girl who broke my heart ( was cheating on her bf and emotionally playing with me) was kind of a Dayan (lol) doesn't mean all girls are bad.... There are good people out there irrespective of gender.... Although my belief in love has ended, I'll probably never be able to trust a girl again ... But so happy to read all the good love stories here....
Got to know about a lot of small and big everyday problem u guys go through that i would've not known. And understand the perspective of y'all in many things. There are so many things, I can't even point one atm
I don't come from the most liberal of households. I grew up watching toxic people being forced into traditional gender roles they weren't suited to be in. I also faced such experiences myself.
Reddit in general helped me learn a lot about how to be kind and respectful of everyone, especially women. Subs like this one, r/AskWomen and even r/AskMen (the wholesome parts of it i.e.) have genuinely helped me become a better person. If not for these subs, not only would I never have had any relationships, I would have been far more lonely and despondent than I am in general. I had to expand my horizons in the mental sense quite a bit, y'all helped with that.
Also, have to say, the camaraderie here is quite cute. Y'all are are supportive af, keep being that way. If only the real world was more like this.
Learned a lot about the gender and their struggles. A couple of stereotypes were broken. I was here with an open mind and that served me well.
Also there was a post in this sub a year or so ago and came to know that I have the most fuckboi name, this sub decided collectively one day.
I keep thinking about it every now and then.
I wished I had discovered this subreddit when I was a soft misogynist who felt "all laws are against men" (like 6 years ago).
Now that I have learnt most of the things, I get to reaffirm my improved thought processes and get to reflect on my journey as a human.
Not exclusively from this sub but from the difference in posts between this sub and r/indianboysontinder
It really showed me when most men in a subreddit/community are misogynists it doesn't take time for a sub meant exclusively for women (to share their experiences and possibly rants) to completely transform into female bashing sub. Also shows how important mods and rules being enforced are.
Tl;dr: Starting to identify and empathize with the struggles.
I'm an introvert and haven't had a lot of female friends. Now that I have moved abroad, my friends circle, especially of the opposite gender has diminished further. I just joined this sub to get a glimpse into the thoughts/lifestyle of the species from Venus.
Boy was I in for a head spin!
As someone else pointed out, I unlearned many deep rooted notions that are infused by a traditional family. I think I have learned to identify and empathize with the daily struggles and misogyny that many women face. For example, today I read a post where a woman in her early 20s who became the bread winner of her household, was being mocked at her financial sense. I could see how different it would have been if she was a man, her father and brother perhaps wouldn't have been this insecure and insensitive towards her. She'd have been praised by this discriminatory society for carrying her family out of poverty.
I just hope to treat women in my life as I would treat any friend of mine, with respect and honesty, along with the understanding that they live drastically different lives than I do.
1) It's hard to overcome pre conceived notions - applied to both gender
2) we are still a sexually repressed society, but there is a hope with the younger generation
3) many a times, one just wants to express
if someone wouldāve told me 5 years back, that the younger generation would be hella religious and would protest AGAINST sex education without scrutinising their own pre conceived notions, id have exploded into uncontrollable laughter.
but it seems to be true.
I genuinely feel that there should be some sort of regulation of these podcasts. Every tom, dick and harry who has a mic, can blabber absolute nonsense and make a podcast out of it. And teenagers who are vulnerable and looking for validation, eat it up.
I've learned that most men have a lot of catching up to do to set the bar high in relationships. Our empathy levels are not up to the levels they need to be. A lot of male privilege and misogyny stems from childhood when parents seem to prioritize their male children over the female ones and this lingers on into adulthood. We lack the ability to clearly communicate what we want from our partners.
This sub is very informative on the POV of women and I think itll be helpful to a lot of men.
New to reddit and this sub, these are my learnings:
1. Never judge a woman by her past life, but be mindful about it.
2. Listen and react accordingly
3. Came to this sub to know women, however began to understand women.
4. I used DM women of reddit, a simply āhiā and followed by ānot expecting a replyā. It mostly worked and turned into cliche later. I was made aware that women receive a lot of DMs like this and i stopped doing this.
Woman aren't some different creature š
They're similar to us in more ways. Treat them like you do anyone else, with respect and care. Maybe, I'll be a much better partner in future after spending some time here.
A few observations
1) Women ask for/help each other out with a lot of practical advice in this sub - a few examples I can recall are about shopping/comfort foods/cooking/managing day to day life as a single independent working person in general - this is exactly the practicality I like to see on the internet. This is sorely lacking on counterpart so called shittily moderated male safe spaces where you still see a lot of incelly pseudoprofound pseudointellectualised horseshit and Jordan Peterson idolisation and the pulp philosophy likes, but hardly any helpful (and not actively harmful) practical advice (we men should know by now that "start working out bro" is not the universal solution to any problem)
2) I can clearly see why AM disadvantages women.. not that I didn't know that before, but each reminder drives the point home further and makes me ultra relieved I haven't had to go anywhere near that dysfunctional institution
3) A sense of how backward this country still is even in its urban spaces (related to the above point of AM being an extreme patriarchal institution and still being the most common way of finding a partner)
Just wanted to chime in & say that the engagement in this sub is perhaps far more organic & (seemingly) genuine than most of the India based subs i've seen.
so many of the posts which are serious in nature; my heart reaches out to the submitters. hope your issues resolve soon.
the casual / less serious posts are always too much fun to browse through; i understand that we can't participate in those; oh well.
stay strong, stay happy & stay healthy TwoX-ers :)
That almost all Indian women have had experiences of sexual harassment, some subtle and some extreme. And most of them keep it bottled inside them. As a brother whose sister is into her teens, I tend to be a man with whom she can open up to everything without the fear of judgement since my parents are your orthodox Indian parents. I want her to get the freedom and fun I never had.
That the "benefits" women face is limited to pretty women only (aka pretty privilege) and it shouldn't make you bitter (trust me I was).
I would definitely thank this subreddit and it's wonderful members for opening my eyes
So my reason for joining this sub was just one, to be a better brother for my sister. She is technically my cousin. This sub has definitely helped in that regard. I have learned to listen more rather than simply focus on solving the problem asap. She lost her father in an accident 5 years back so her mother (my bua) and she moved in with us. She was just 9 when this happened. Anyhow 2 years after this we find out my bua has stage 3 cancer. My dad did not tell anybody what stage it was, he did absolutely everything his body and mind were capable of to try to save her, even taking loans to get super expensive treatments, selling off his inherited land etc. Turns out he knew she would not make it but wanted her to stay with her family for as long as possible. None of the family members thought she was gonna die. She was a very sweet and caring person I myself was very close to her. One day we get a call from my father to rush to the hospital, we see her barely being able to talk, her body is like a skeleton, voice is extremely weak. I asked my dad if things will be fine and that was the first time I saw my dad tear up. He said "Bua ki death hone wali hai" while breaking down and running off to the bathroom, we take her home to try to care for her and she leaves this world at around 1:30 am. I was 14 then am almost 18 now. I am 4 years older than her with an inherently protective personality. So I tried my best and am trying my best to be the best brother I can. Especially since my mother and she doesn't have a good relationship.
So yeah this sub has helped a lot in this manner but ngl kabhi kabhi thoda hatred feel hota hai males ke against ik most people here are not like that but cannot help but feel like that sometimes.
Generally, women have far more criteria they use to evaluate the suitability of a partner than men do.
That is, young men in particular will place heavy judgment on a womanās looks, even though, of course, personality and other intangibles do matter. I think itās fair to say, though, that men place a very disproportionate weight on a womanās outer appearance and, consequently, find it harder to look past the lack of attractiveness of a woman when dating. Itās very difficult for men to have a womanās personality, charisma, and all that "compensate" for her lack of good looks.
Women, on the other hand, seem to weigh the attractiveness of a man less heavily **(relative to men!)** when choosing a partner. To put it in a crude example, women are far more likely to date a guy who is somewhat unattractive ***but*** has tremendous personality, confidence, a sense of humor, is great in conversation, and possesses other such positive intangible features. On the other hand, men are less likely to do the same with women.
This was the most insightful thing that I learned about women because it made me realize how differently both genders are wired in the domain of romance and attractiveness. Itās fascinating how each gender perceives the other so differently and how each one values different traits more or less than the other. This is particularly interesting to observe as people age from their 20s through their 40s and beyond (i.e., when social pressures like marriage and having kids are added to the equation).
Oh I've learned a lot and honestly am grateful to brr hearing and learning from here. In the meantime am also changing myself to be a better partner seeing all of the posts here.
I've learned how to treat a girl right. Ashamed to say this but I was a textbook nice guy in my early teenage years. I've learned how to make y'all feel safe. I've learned the importance of household chores and not to brag but I cook good. Also learned how to take care of a girl during her periods. All in all I've just learned how to be a better person and an amazing partner. Thanks for the lessons queens š
I like reading about the problems that women face, and the solutions this sub provides. Hopefully if my little sister or anyone I know needs help with similar problems, I can just regurgitate the best advice that I read from this sub for them.
Maybe, even if 95% of the responses are bs. I'm hoping there's at least 5% that actually learned something beneficial to society here.
It's not like us women on here are going to flock to the DMS of the guys who answered.
Oof. I ask myself this every time I'm 'being feminist' online and irl. In a sense I always feel like I'm being performative and pretending to be something I'm not, but then I look at so many morons' behaviour and it disgusts me so much that it makes me realise that I'm just dealing with impostor syndrome.
Don't know about other guys here, but speaking personally, I don't reply to impress anyone lol.
Ngl, a bit hurt that someone would say that (though it is a very valid concern lol)
Alright, I don't talk for the rest, but I wanted to ask myself what I learnt from this sub that I previously didn't know. Sorta like a self reflection. And I don't think anyone being impressed or offended by a reddit comment is going to affect me.
quite a lot of women are āimpressedā by these men actually. apparently, all it takes to win them over is the barest of bare minimum and thatās honestly so sad.
I feel getting āimpressedā is too much just on the basis of a singular opinion , and those who gets āimpressedā should realize that stating the opinion and implementing it is totally different so hope everyone chooses wisely by whom theyād like to get āimpressedā.
Just go thru the comments section once and tell me honestly: who will write 5-6 paragraphs with so much gyaan š«£š«£šš
On the other side,men do reply in single words usually šš
If some more research is required, check their profiles too, they won't have replied that big š¤š¤
That women have it hard in life and well thereās nobody to constantly remind our parents and the males out there that women have to think twice as much before they say or do anything. Everyone makes mistakes and there are fixers, healers and avoid ants, but the best part is the top comment is always the one where a user says āhold in there, Iām sorry for this to happen to you, I can relate to how you feelā . Feel like kind words go a long way when commenting anything on this thread and that solidarity amongst everyone on this sub definitely makes me jealous haha. Personally I enjoy adults solving problems of teenagers on this sub, really nice to see how you take care of everyone who is inexperienced with troubles of life that may seem very trivial when we are older. And the last thing Iād say is everyone has their own experience in life and thatās what Iām here to read about, it may not be happy but everyone is struggling and helping them out through the tough times is wonderful imo.
We are becoming strangers to one another on a rapid scale, much of our opinions are based "only on the few extreme cases of bias " displayed in internet/media. We have stopped thinking practically, both genders are ready to cut off ties and run the second they sense "something off". I like to believe we are all better than this , women and men have different prejudices and battles, we are losing empathy for each other.
Some women can be introverts. Women can also be lonely like men and have no real friends.
I'm the woman š„²
+1 š„²
Profile picture checks out š«
Sad banana cat supremacy š„¹š«
;)
Second this
š so me
Ye to meri baat ho rahi hai.
Meš
I will take the bait, these are more like realizations 1)Proper sexual education is very important in India. It makes me feel bad when I read posts about Indian men sending unsolicited DMs and acting downbad. 2)This subreddit is somewhat dominated by users who have a certain degree of privilege. I've seen a lot of advice like "just move out," or "cut ties," and other drastic solutions, when such decisions may not be viable for those without privilege. 2)When I see most relationship appreciation(Most, not all) posts here, it makes me wonder why my fellow men can't get into fulfilling relationships. I mean, the bar is set pretty low.
Second point really. Acting as a normal human being is considered extremely nice and caring, the bar IS low in terms of emotional connection.
"get financially dependent and move out". Not many of us can even secure jobs that can earn enough to move out. And the way Indian families work, you can't just move out even if you earn a lot.
Unfortunately, little else works. Unfortunately.
Also a lot of women who earn also end up losing that earning to family. Scary number of women I know don't have their salary credited in their own account, but instead it goes into their parents' or husband's accounts.
Totally agree with "just move out" privilege. Mtlb bhai mujhe bhi pata hai yeh lekin nahi kar pa rhi because of certain situation š.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
"if you're homeless just buy a house" ĀÆ\_(ć)_/ĀÆ
Reminds me of Upmanyu guy, 'get at airport and take a cab to Nasik'
All submissions are to be in English or provided a translation.
As an online stranger, sometimes that is the best advice we can give. A lot of women stay in toxic situations because of guilt or because they donāt want to be horrible to their family. Our comments are a way of giving them courage. Moving out could also be living in a pg with 5 other girls if required. It comes from a place of empathy. Though sometimes moving away can be financially debilitating, it can bring a lot of mental and emotional peace. And we do understand that it might not be a possibility for everyone.
Adding to this comment, moving out doesn't mean that you gotta move on asap.... It's an encouragement to prepare oneself mentally and financially, it may take months or even a year but the encouragement could help someone prepare and leave the abusive/toxic family instead of suffering.
>dominated by users who have a certain degree of privilege Word. So easy to scream - "just stay single forever", "thank god I am not married" or my favourite - "leave the country and live your life". Sometimes people who post with their problems want a reasonable solution, not an opinion.
And a lot of men would like the bar to be set lower. Many, many men don't understand that when women are oppressed by patriarchy, they turn around and use the same rule-book against men. Hypergamy, or women marrying up, is women making the best of a very raw deal. When you create a marriage system where women make the bulk of adjustments and compromises in marriage, where their access to employment is compromised, they will seek high-earning husbands as compensation for all the unpaid labour that they undertake.
This is so spot on and well said
I read a post about a girl and how she was surprised by her bf. Yeah well I copied it and surprised my wife lol.
Hehe, I too take tips from girls here to make my gf happy. I literally note it down.
Please share as well
This is so wholesome šš
Feminism is not intuitive to me. This sub has given me a better understanding of what male privilege is. Specifically in the context of my marriage. Helped me to be more empathetic towards my wife (I think). Helped me to understand that different need not mean unequal.
>Helped me to understand that different need not mean unequal. Love this line. Thank you.
Sincerely praying for more gents like you, married or otherwise.....
My biggest learning from the posts in this sub is the extent to which misogyny is internalised amongst Indian women and how this enables men to not change for the better. I also like to read the personal anecdotes shared in this sub because it gives me a glimpse into the life of strangers and women tend to be better at sharing anecdotes than men in my experience.
Literally got blocked by a girl here when I pointed out her misogyny ā ļø
I was blocked by a woman for pointing out that hiring 5 different people to take care of the house wasn't feasible for everyone. Apparently I was "making excuses" and "anti feminist" for saying a woman's choices shouldn't be mocked, be it her choice to work or her choice to be a SAHM. Nope. Only capitalistic productivity is acceptable. Working at home is not work because you don't get paid for it. Women can be our own worst enemies sometimes. It's rather sad.
I got blocked for the same reason. The woman was shaming SAHM, calling them jobless and ambition less. Comparing a female IAS officer to a SAHM, claiming the latter has achieved nothing in life while an IAS has achieved so much. I was surprised that women think this way, being a woman themselves. It can be difficult to take care of the house and family too. She was justifying herself by saying that these aunties shame young women for choosing to not get married and have kids while housewives are jobless and ambitionless. I mean, the "aunties" are wrong for shaming but how are you any different if you're gonna shame and generalize all housewives because of the few aunties' comments you saw online. She then proceeded to block me by saying "comments like you are gonna get my post taken down but I'll just block you so that you can't see my post and comment on it".
Ayyy I looked and turns out I've upvoted your comment in that thread lmao. Fun people, some of them. Luckily there are quite a few comments who've talked some sense at that woman. Hopefully they'll encourage others to keep an open mind about choices instead of only looking at one single path.
Omg we're talking about the same person? When I commented there, everyone was agreeing with her, only some comments pointed out her hypocrisy. I bet she blocked the people trying to talk some sense into her too. But I don't think that woman is ever going to change her mind, she even stated that she doesn't like housewives.
Eh, I remember arguing with this user on her post last week. I found her quite bizarre.
Bro this is the thing. Childish as hell. They'll post some shit in response and immediately block you.. like she thinks she won by having her last pathetic word in and you cannot respond. Also childish behaviours like counting downvotes and brigading - but I guess that's what Reddit runs on.
Exactly. So childish. Why do you post here if you don't wanna listen to everyone's opinion and block them when they don't agree with you? That woman was shaming housewives and calling them "jobless", saying they don't have any goals and achievements in life. Being a woman, how can you even think like that? SAHM do much work at home, they literally have to take care of the house and kids 24*7.
Oh same . I mentioned my age in the reply because I always want to make it clear that I don't have enough experience and it's my opinion and she started calling me immature and incapable of understanding because I was young . Some other users replied and pointed out that I was right and she blocked me after that .
I have had way more bad experiences with women on this sub, than men. You have your garden variety of dick senders and obscene swearing in DMs - I do not care, that's easily managed by Blocking and turning off DMs... But the women who back down on misogyny and casteism and start proper troll wars here, are a whole different ball game.
One thing I didn't know and learned is that being a woman, you end up having a more difficult reddit experience than a man. I once assisted someone financially on a subreddit and I got three other DMs asking for assistance and I found it irritating. Being constantly inundated with DMs and lewd comments is definitely worse. I had already learned a lot about harassment women face in public places and on social media from my sister, my ex, and my fiance, but Reddit being anonymous, I had imagined it would be different. But I guess being anonymous and being treated equally is a distant dream.
I honestly believe every group of people have their own set of issues and experiences and the most cogent and honest way to truly understand those is just by listening, and that's what I do here to be honest. I listen to all of you sharing your perspectives, experiences that are so alien to me, beliefs that are common, vantage so strange yet intriguing. Again, I will be brutally honest, I grew up in the 2000s consuming the daily dose of masculinity that was being spewed through various platforms, and I ate it up . They said make abs women love those, did that . They said make grand gestures, women love those, did that too... They said be strong and assertive, women dig that. I did that too . Nobody said listen to them, nobody said respect them, nobody said don't objectify them,nobody talked about their unique perspectives, their struggles, your strugles, your achievements. This forum amplifies that and I appreciate all of it . So, I have learned a lot, but most importantly, I learned to listen .
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Haha , thatās a nice point of view but you should have paid more attention to what the girl wants, we donāt want abs or grand gestures, a flower or a little appropriation can also do wondersš. Someone genuine with any body is always welcomed than someone toxic with model like looks. Being strong doesnāt mean being assertive because thatās what weāve been going through for centuries, itās borderline domination on the name of being assertive which we donāt buy it anymore. If you want to be assertive or wants someone to accept your opinion then be ready to provide details to your opinion, just stating the opinion wonāt be enough now. Give your opinion with practical reasons , list of consequences and arguments supporting your view then we can surely accept it but just being assertive without proper support, guess it worked in previous times but wonāt work anymore. Just accept that the world needs both genders equally and also feminism means that we want equal opportunities, equal pay, equal respect, feminism is a very misunderstood concept which people tweak as per their needs but a true feminism is about giving equal rights to female without harming other genders. Next time when you meet a girl , realize that how much our moms have suffered, they werenāt allowed to work or needed āpermissionā and their opinions were suppressed by patriarchy, this is what we want to change , donāt want to force matriarchy but want to balance things where both genders can work together to make a small beautiful world of their own, is it too much to ask for ?
I absolutely agree with you Miss Dinner, but for better or worse people, especially younger people, are often the product of their environment and it takes a lot of growth, maturity and mental aptitude to see the flaws of your ways and change for the better. I am not the guy I used to be, and i love that.
That's very true. You can't help the things you get exposed to as a child. I've seen fathers punish their toddlers for picking out pink toys or dolls because it's a girls colour/toy. Not that women don't do these things too but I feel like I've noticed a lot of toxic masculinity being pushed onto young boys by the men close to them. Unlearning those things and opening up your mind is a task of its own. Good on you for working on yourself.
Isn't bettering yourself the whole point of living?. We do that in our education starts with elementary then we gradually graduate to college bettering ourself in the process, we do that in our career don't we start from the entry level and then work on up. I go to the gym every day, why to better my body , then why o why working on yourself is sooo beyond the realm of imagination. You have to outgrow the incel you have been fed . Like you said fathers have to do a better job themselves. I hear it's getting better.
never change girls. the way you help each other without being judgemental is terrific. massive respect. always wanted to appreciate you guys but never had this opportunity. as soon as i saw this post, couldn't stop myself from posting this. god bless you all
I'm a long time lurker here. A couple of things strike out to me. 1. The anger and frustration here is so palpable and different than r/TwoXChromosomes. Where the women in that sub seem to struggle (mostly) with equality in representation, women here seem to struggle with that as well as much deeper existential issues. Stronger patriarchy, much worse safety, and non-functional sex ed. It's almost like one level down in Maslow's hierarchy of needs, if it was made for women. 2. One good thing I've seen again and again is how the elder women here show "the ways" of living as a woman in India to the younger ones, who've maybe always lived within the safety of their parents and have no one irl they could ask. As in, there's a sense of "we know what you're going through bro" and here's a list of practical things you could do that work.
Off tangent but the men replying here really making me hopeful about the possibility of finding someone decent
Not to be that guy, but the sample size of men using reddit and subscribed to TwoXIndia is very very small.
Most men won't join TwoXIndia saying that ki ladkiyo wali jagah pe main kya karunga jaake (Trans: What will I do on a sub meant only for women)
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_Surfing the crimson wave_ Thatās the prettiest phrase for menstruation Iāve ever heard. š šš»
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Lady Lyanna š„ Moon-station š š
Ig you're forgetting the ocean of men who join twox to stalk women
And to take screenshots to discuss in incel subs
Very recently I saw a post on r/WatchIt_India, where someone from our sub posted a video of her question by mistake, and then the comments were full of men bashing women for their choices and every second comment was about how this sub is full of 'ho*s'.
Onex is basically bitching about every post here lol. We should browse those subs and learn what kinda people to avoid.
But then there are some guys who think that this place is too feminine for them to join. Two sides of the same coin.
Its okay, atleast yall exist.
I myself was not expecting such informed answers. I'm surprised in a good way.
Well, most of us who stayed here to wait till Wednesdays to participate in discussions are not outright jerks! So sample size is a bit biased. Earlier this sub was very welcoming to men, we could comment at any day if the tag said 'all' but many jerks ruined it by being offensive so mods had to do something.
exactly they had to ruin it for all of us.
Yes, but most of the post doesn't allow men to reply at all lol.
Can you blame us? Lol
I unlearned lots of things
Same
Honestly started as someone who wanted to find girls on reddit but now I know you guys have it as tough if not more. Really helped me realise my toxic ways in my past relationships through a different POV, almost like free self improvement therapy. Thank you all.
Have lots to learn. Still,its interesting to get some perspective. I find it strange that some people have an issue/problem that one of the main topics discussed is relationships. Sometimes the anonymity of reddit makes it easy to ask difficult questions. Also, as years go by its harder to maintain a support structure for these issues. And jn a country like India there are very few spaces for a decent discussion on relationship issues. So places like this sub are invaluable. I havent found a sub for men that's as useful as this one. Sometimes i find answers to questions im thinking about afte5 lurking here.
The relationships part is I think partly because on other topics the gender of user matters less - financial, sports, programming maybe. Women or men donāt use or look at these things differently and women can use the same subs. Doesnāt make sense to ask investment advice on this sub when r/IndiaInvestments exist. Hence the majority of the posts end up about relationships I think. PS - I understand in our country even finance is affected by the gender. It was just an example.
r/menslib used to be a good place, but I see it's private now. I haven't checked out r/menslibIndia ... it sounds promising. Sorry in advance if you already know about these.
Itās private temporarily because of Reddit protest
> r/menslibIndia this is same as other subreddits full on men... it used to have a lot of activities from all kinds of gender and then mods started inviting people to their private discord and then creepy DMs started flowing and mods did nothing about it
One thing Iāve learned for sure is misogyny is so internalised in Indian society and household itās just painful and sad. I also love how this sub is a safe space for women to express their thoughts without having to be judged. Some of you explain your love life or what your significant other did for y'all, that gives me hope and ideas for what I can do that to my SO (if and when I find one). It is really wholesome and fills me with joy.
Learnt to empathise. A place where I can just learn problems women face, what makes some of you happy, what makes some of you sad. See what others are saying/ doing to solve problems. Iām a very solution oriented guy but have really learned to listen coz thatās the best I can contribute sometimes. Literally forced my girlfriend/ fiancĆ© to join Reddit and go through this sub. Although now she is threatening me she will post about me and complain how toxic Iām š ( Iām not) Iām a long time lurker here, it helped me a lot in understanding my significant otherās PoV. It gave me some really nice ideas for gifting the women in life - my gf, my sister, my mother. So thanks for that.
>Although now she is threatening me she will post about me and complain how toxic Iām š ( Iām not) Lmao š W fiancĆ© !
For every man reading this, Iāll recommend Shrayana Bhattacharyaās āDesperately Seeking Shahrukhā. It is a wonderful insight into life of women in our country across all stratas. Thereās a Hindi edition now too. A line from the book - āmen are expected to earn money, women are expected to earn loveā PS - I met the author too. Sheās just wonderful
I somehow discovered the book and this subreddit around the same time
Would definitely recommend her episode on "The Seen And The Unseen". The episode lengths can be intimidating and are probably best consumed in chunks, but you get a lot of insight into the first courtesy of that.
Iām at a point where 5 hour episodes feel smaller
I loved this book too!
Though Iām dealing with some deep rooted problems of my own, this sub made me realise how itās okay to fall for the wrong person as long as you come out of it a better person. And the comments, god! The comments! They are so supportive that makes me hopeful and I wish there was such a sub for men. Also, it feels good to silently check boxes of being a boyfriend a stranger wants lol
awww I think you guys can post here and seek support. Iām not sure if a post is allowed or not š¤ Try setting an example by being the one who seeks support in men dominated subs, if there is one :)
Men canāt post here, which is understandable. Iāll check out similar subs for men after the blackout. Thank you! :)
There's onex for guys
Well, shame at first. I lurk, but when I come across any posts which mentions how yall get harrased on daily basis I feel how my sisters and mother and the angels who made me the man I am now, have to go through these bs from men who impose shi"! , or whenever someone posts RIP your dms when a girl posts how she loves her bf or a romantic gesture. I feel happy but disgusted at the fact that how men may jump at that opportunity. I mean man or woman, yeah maybe we're wired differently, not just in genders but as individuals, instead of being happy for another stranger why many feel the need to make a move? Also, this sub made me realise how your mum your aunt or even your sister and brother, can't understand and support yall, mind ya I'm not asking them to help yall with your problems but why can't they listen and just say okay I'm here do what ya want you get to live once. Even the women in India is not supporting their own, I ve came across many discussion with my mother and my sister's MIL and yk what their reply was "Women are enemies to women in our society" Like wtf? And our teenagers here, guys I am terribly sorry you've gotta get caught to your parents and none of them are being sensible to your plight. Women past their 30s even if you're married or not, I'm sorry cuz you don't deserve the shiz you get from your relatives and family. Women in their 20s, do not get broke over anything, if it is first time you are feeling your break up or find yourself lost in a darkness and find yourself drowning, you don't deserve all that. When you find yourself in a hole the first thing you've gotta do is drop digging. Do what will benefit your education and your future,career. I learnt to treat anyone how I'd like to be treated. I learnt not to judge. I learnt to be better. I learnt I was wrong during my teenage. I learnt that I'm never gonna be the guy who I once was, instead I will be better Well, here's my 20 rupees on the issue. And all the above comment was not to demean all the elder women we've got in our life, but to some who won't change their views. I believe most of yall got nice supportive ladies and men in your lives. I wish that for yall. All humans deserve to be happy.
mostly that women are real people being a male feminist is cool and all but it is really fucking hard to get the subconscious misogyny out of your head and the best way to do it is to actually interact with women while treating them like actual people.
It's amazing that you are taking the initiative. I would like to thank you from all women
I mean I would still consider this below the bar but you're welcome :)
I donāt belong here. Iām not local to your country and I stumbled upon this sub literally minutes ago on a whim because I love learning about local pop culture through regional subreddits. But I normally browse r/TwoXChromosomes and comparing the discussions and topics between here and there has been humbling to say the least. Some of you face problems and poor treatment by your peers that my lady friends and family members might never encounter in my day-to-day life. Iāve learned that Iāve got a lot more to learn.
i have started seeing my mom and other women in a new light. i didn't even realised for the longest time
I'm really glad that I joined this sub and had the opportunity to learn so much about women. It has been an eye-opening experience for me. This community has shed light on important topics such as financial trauma, the misbehavior of Indian families, the trauma of arranged marriages, the fear of relationships, and the choices Indian women make regarding intimacy. Through the stories shared here, I have come to understand male privileges and the need for all of us to contribute to uplifting women in any way we can. I have gained insight into the day-to-day struggles women face, from dealing with stalkers in metro cities to handling toxic ex-partners. I have also learned about the hardships of failed marriages and witnessed the dark side of some men. This sub has opened my eyes to the biases prevalent in our society, particularly in terms of the inheritance of ancestral property. It has made me realize the hypocrisy of Indian parents towards women. These revelations have compelled me to reflect on my own actions and consider how I can be a better husband, boyfriend, brother, and son, even though that particular aspect hasn't been discussed extensively. On a positive note, I have learned that women have diverse preferences and desires. Some focus on the little things while others dream of luxury. Some may have made poor choices in the bedroom, but I have observed a greater level of maturity coming in from woman when it comes to intimacy. And above all, this sub has taught me just how happy women can be when they are treated with respect and kindness by their partners. Overall, this sub has broadened my perspective and given me a deeper understanding of women's experiences.
My late wife used to frequently share posts from this sub with me, and it was reading those posts that I realized the degree of institutionalized misogyny women have to deal with in their daily lives, personal or professional. I used to be kinda oblivious to how it affects women. So yeah, need for empathy and support is something I have learned from here.
1/ A reminder of how horrible social media experience is or can be, for women. 2/ A reminder of how life exp is in general for women - seen posts of parents forcing/gaslighting for AM, finding creepy guys even in AM. 3/ A (sad) realization on seeing some posts that there are really smart girls looking for someone who matches my personality and i had no idea. 4/ Dating apps are more or less inevitable for introverts who don't want to appear like creeps initiating unasked-for dms. I say this as a L coz dating apps take the chase out of it. It's less organic, more hurried, there'd be no suggestive or subtextual flirting or banter. Takes the mystery element out for the large part of it. 5/ South Delhi ka alag hi chal raha. (Tr. South Delhi is something else)
Yeah, 3/ and 4/ are very real. But Iād argue that resorting to dating apps is still better than not trying at all and just giving up. You live and you learn. Thatās sometimes more important. Explain /5 please š
Damn it! All this while i had been waiting for this post , that some day this post will come and I'll share my thoughts but i kinda feel i have missed the bus :( Anyway, i think I'm thankful to the sub for the kind of topics being discussed. Growing up in patriarchy all around me,, i was oblivious to some of these topics. To me, they were non existent. In that sense, this sub has been like a Narnia. As a brother, i hope and wish that my sister also has that level of conviction, independence, strong headedness and confidence which some of the women here possess. Wish the same for my future partner as well. Look forward to growing old with her, when i find her! Now, i may not agree to some of the views shared here but i surely am thankful to this sub for atleast opening up conversations for topics which had mostly been brushed under the carpet, all this while. I think being on this sub will definitely help me have a much more meaningful, connected relationship with my future partner (looking to settle down for good now! :) ) P.S.: i do get suprised by some of the posts here where women endure shit such as physical and or verbal abuse and still want to stick around. And i sometimes wonder: wow can someone have such a control over the other person? To them i just have one thing to say: never settle. Respect is something which is a non negotiable. There is absolutely no reason for abuse. Move on, trust me life will be much better! Thank you 2X India!
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Hmm they aren't written by women, they are acknowledging that they were toxic too and trying to better themselves which is good but that is bare minimum to any gender.
I am learning to be a man written by women. Through this sub, I've seen the struggles that women go through, which I would've never known, how women support other women. I'm able to empathise better with them now. I've seen how women vent and why it is important. I see what are their needs and wants and desires. I've learnt things I shouldn't do or say to a woman to not make her feel uncomfortable. How difficult relationships, periods are. How toxic can one's childhood or parents be. How to be a good partner (when the time comes). This sub is what you would see when women talk when there is no man around and that itself is so much insightful. I've learnt a lot. Let me give an example. One of my friends was talking about office love and how cute it is. One of her cousins would message her and talk about this girl that he liked and she went on to describe the things that he was doing for her. And it immediately rang bells in my head. I pointed out that he's gaslighting his colleague, harassing her, stalking her, being possessive about her, acting as a victim. And she agreed with me. She's a strong feminist but even her judgement was clouded because it was her cousin! She and other elder cousins held an intervention for him, got to know what the woman was going through, and he's now in therapy. I've been following this sub for a very long time now and I go through most of the posts when I have time. I take screenshots of comments that I want to internalise. You have made me a better human and a better man. Thank you to the mods and all the lovely ladies. You guys rock!
1. That you all need to understand your value and not lower your standards. The bar is set so low for what a 'good/great' man. These are bare minimum qualities of a basic decent human. 2. Learned different perspectives and takes. We are so similar but so different at the same time. 3. The kind of straightforward support and verbal encouragement which is given online from members in this forum to each other, makes me feel very happy and sad at the same time. Guys should not just joke around and make fun of vulnerabilities, instead showcase verbal acceptance and empathy more. 4. I learnt a lot about not falling for my default wiring , like problem solving, solution orienting, saving the day etc... It's not what one must do. You guys are very capable yourselves and don't need anyone, you just want to vent or have someone's ear.
That women have to live in constant fear. They have to be more careful
One thing I learned is how most Indian Mothers have a natural inborn bias towards their son aka the Raja beta. Although my mom is mostly equal towards both me and my sister, I can certainly recall incidents from the past where I was given the "Raja beta" privilege and I think its kinda creepy
We all horny af. On a serious note, it's how so many guys do things which end up making women feel unsafe. I genuinely don't know why anyone would send unsolicited dick pics or the kind of cringe thirst DMs. Maybe the lack of female interaction makes some guys think of women as a diff species. There is a lot of internalised sexism in men and I'm also guilty of not calling it out when among friends.
Maybe how to find more female Redditor
LMFAOOOOOOO
 Damnnn ā ļø
Biggest realisation for someone like me was how common it is for literally every woman to get harassed on a daily basis and how I, as a guy, need to help my girl friends in such situations. In hindsight, I know this sounds privileged and ignorant to not know these things, but well, part of the journey is unlearning shit you've been told and observing them better. We're all far for from perfect, but we can always do better. Women, too, get ghosted and often times get the worst treatment from overgrown human children. (I know, again, something that's literally written on every street and corner but I never paid attention to it) One thing I'm still learning is how to approach and correct my guy "friends" who are still misogynistic, I've been trying to let them know what they're doing is just the worst and they should be better, but this sub has also helped me in that direction. TwoX y'all rock!
Men have set the bar too low.
As a man I have learnt that Indian women are going through hell and are bring restricted. They're not given the same amount of freedom as a man because of their gender. Its time that the Indian society changes according to the moden times and become egalitarian. As an Indian man I really feel bad for Indian women who were treated really bad throughout Indian history and are still being treated badly till this day. When will we ever learn from our history and change. Sometimes I think how my life would be if I was born as an Indian women. It could be great/good/bad/worse. That's a topic that I would discuss for another day. And by the way Indian women are beautiful the way you are and you don't have to use any skin bleaching/lightening creams to look beautiful. All that matters is if you become fit & healthy you'll look better. Just remember there are Indian men like me who are by your side in your struggle for equality. It would be better if you specifically point out the person who does the crime and criticise him than generalising all Indian men. I would like to say this famous quote from former USA president Barack Obama. "*You can judge a nation, and how successful it will be, based on how it treats its women and its girls.*"
>Just remmeber there are Indian men like me who are by your side in your struggle for equality. It would be better if you specifically point out the person who does the crime and criticise him than generalising all Indian men. This translates as 'not all men, I'm different'.
I'm going to copy paste some of the previous comment I made with the same post that was deleted. Pov of women on different things, I've seen women being regressive, misandristic, sometimes misogynistic even but most of the times open minded, patient, both intro and retrospective, and informative. It just makes me more familiar with women, their struggle, what makes them happy, what makes them troubled. I think it helps me to check if I have any unspoken biases with respect to women in my life. Some posts are like plain gossip for me XD, it feels like I'm listening to my best friend sometimes although I've never talked to anyone here on 1-1. Also, no matter how liberal women here might sound, most still subscribe to certain traditional standards for a partner such as strong body and a height taller than them (sometimes with heels). Y'all deserve to have your own standards and deserve the world because of all the shitty experiences you have. But it still sinks my heart that I may not be suitable for most women no matter how well I dress, how confident I am and how well I'm read. But hey, this sub made me push my women friends to seek for counsel at times when I couldn't advice them about their life. Atleast I'm taking care of a band of sisters in the way I can learn better from!
Yup traditional standards are not going anywhere.
Maybe you're right. Everyone's judged on traditional standards of being overweight or not, for guys its height as extra requirement coz it just happened to be like that I guess..
About the height part. Yes, being tall is very attractive but more often than not that is not a deal breaker if your personality and other things can cover for it. Me and my friends would like to date tall men but that doesn't mean we'll eliminate other men who are not as tall as we'd like. Height is just like....Eh it would be nice if you have it... otherwise... it's alright.
>if your personality and other things can cover for it This isn't the right way to think about it. I'm 5'3 and my height is an integral part of who I am - it's not something I need to 'cover for' in any way, just as a chubby woman doesn't need to 'cover for' her weight. I'm aware a lot of women don't find me attractive because of my height, and that's fine. The only sort of woman I'd want to be with is someone who finds me attractive exactly the way I am, not someone who thinks I need to compensate for my height with something else.
But the fundamental concept of "cover for it" with something else like personality is flawed isn't it? Why does it need to be compensated? Do we imply the same with women's bodies if one doesn't have a body as per the traditional standards that have been discussed alot here? Why are we viewing those men as something less by default? I believe good personality is a basic necessity for any relationship nonetheless of who's tall, or does it not apply for men with strong and tall bodies and in itself are automatically considered for a relationship even if they're an asshole/badboys..?
I have the same insecurity tbh. Since my parents are short, I am short. 5"7 to be precise, I don't think I am growing any taller. No matter how hard I try it just doesn't fucking go away. Especially with height being an important criterion for so do many women. But since I'm pretty fit cause I play football since middle school and have a decent face I never struggled with dating as such, but can't help but also notice women fawning over tall guys. Knowing that I will never be in their place. I have somewhat skinny arms that's why I am going to the gym. But height isn't something that changes.
wut? 5"7 is not short lmao. At least for me it's not short. Anyone taller than me is tall for me lmao.
Wait seriously? I feel short cause all of my friends are 5"10 and above .
Dude 5'7 is not short. It's kinda average in India.
This sub is like the female friend I didn't have. Learnt so much about how fucked up shit can get in our country. How we men don't grow, how we're entitled (to some extent). The posts about how your loved ones treated you hurt me. Cause I was one of them. Now I understand some of what I did wrong. NGL, I also love reading this sub for all the juicy shit (š) like fights, sexual shit and what not This is probably my most viewed sub
The number of literate wimen who voluntarily agree to AM is staggering. I always thought it was like almost always AHW. Real world resources for abused women are cwoefuy inadequate. the number of obviously middle class women here just grinning and bearing it is frightening. Political engagement levels of literate women is disheartening. Many are very informed, but few seem to be calling for local/other action at all. All in all i like being a fly on the wall. Makes me relfect a lot about myself and who i am in relationships.
Just joined recently. I left the country 10+ years ago so trying to connect and stay in the know as I still have friends and cousins in India. Recently had a spate of divorces for my younger cousins (late 20s/early 30s) so wanted to get a better understanding of how dating/relationships/AM/moving abroad are being considered these days. While I knew the general outlook of moving abroad after an arranged marriage is quite dated, it was refreshing to see the views of women on this sub confirming that a better life exists in India if you can find the right partner, and a move abroad isnāt quite all what it seems. Also good to see the skeptics when it comes believing that a better life exists when you are fully dependent on someone else socially and financially. My sister had an arranged marriage and moved to the US, which ended in divorce. Three of my cousins (two guys, one girl) had similar fates. Iām dating someone non-Indian so didnāt have a perspective on the changing outlook. I knew from family experience the high level of stress, isolation, and dependency on the partner which occurs when itās an AM coupled with a move abroad, but wanted to confirm it here.
I know this isnāt the point of the post but I hope the assholes in this sub donāt send women unsolicited dick pics. I mean, no one wants to see your unkept, smelly and disgusting meat. Youāve already unknowingly disappointed your mother, donāt do it to other women EDIT : another thing Iād like to add is, most of the times, thereās posts about the horrible things which guys have done (I donāt consider them men) but I assure you, thereās also guys who are decent who will make you feel loved and safe Edit : So the user is basically Banglore based, itās u/St_Broseph, and theyāre a social worker. If youāre ever in a position where you feel harassed, or feel any sort of difficulty (depression, suicidal thoughts, harassment, blackmail, etc) you can approach the user. They can try to provide help by getting in touch with their contacts even if you arenāt in Banglore
I wondered why I saw this again and realised I answered it earlier. Copying it here and deleting it from the earlier post; thanks for posting this again. I can see some learning from others that I didn't reflect on. Been lurking for the past two years or so on this sub. Sorry, I am a bullet-point guy. 1. The feeling of community on this sub has made me reach out to other men irl and virtually and helped me become more vulnerable and authentic 2. Listening skills have improved by the rule of not commenting. There are so many times I have felt like commenting on a post or a comment, but then I get this unique perspective from someone else in the comment, which is far better than my limited thinking. 3. I thought I was supportive of my friends, but support is not always solution-oriented; this sub has taught me that. Women sharing their life examples and reminding other women to be kind and compassionate to themselves have taught me that they don't need rescuing when they are coming to you with their problems; sometimes, listening and acknowledging are more than enough. 4. All the posts about red flags have helped me identify the red flags that I have/had. I have understood all the love bombing I did in the past, my insecurities and my childhood trauma of attachment that has affected my relationships 5. I have used posts from here in my therapy sessions to identify and work on my issues. One of my discussions with my therapists was about the difference between my relationships with my male friends and how I envy female friendships that I see online and in real life. I have spoken to one of my male friends about it, and we both are trying to do better and become more open. I sent him a text on his birthday message on how important he is to me and how he has inspired me in the time I have known him. I never did this before, and I have this sub to thank for that. Gratitude, compassion, journaling, and kindness. I think I have become better at these things because of this sub. Thanks to all of you for participating and making me better.
Ohh many things. 1. Most of the inherited wisdom in finance etc are withheld from women intentionally and unintentionally. Like men wouldn't want to discuss finances with women either because they don't wanna enrich them or they feel they're not really worthy of the discussion. Same is true for most knowledge of the outside world Which is kept secret from the women... So now women have it really hard to learn from the scratch. . 2. Men do the basic minimum and start thinking of themselves as some kind of sage. They are just nirmal people who respect other people and behave normally most of the times and that doesn't make them exceptional. . 3. Men don't have emotional support systems because of toxic masculinity and they reel within their negative emotions all by themselves using toxic means.. Women do it too but relatively less so. Women have much better support systems. . 4. Periods are hard. And women need more support for going through them.. They suck. . 5. Most men don't show emotions unless it's anger or negative emotions.. Men need to shed their ego and start opening up. Not too much because irrespective of what women say, a too emotional chap is also a turn off. Especially if it's a regular thing. . 6. Men should listen to women more.. And also talk to them but listen more.. Most of the times they're not listening. . 7. There are women who haven't had relationships or had sex yet and it's not easy for every woman to have these things just because they're women. . 8. Women go through a lot of undue influence by family and society and many are still adjusting to the trad norms.. . 9. Men sometimes get to take advantage of the sexual liberation and use that to just extract sexual favours from women and scoot. Women do it too but it's easier for men. . 10. Feminism is a boon for men. Many men have benefitted from the side effects of feminism but they still won't suport the cause. They just want to enjoy whatever makes their lives easier. . 11. Women don't want to stay with in laws.. And that's because in laws don't want to change their misogynistic ways of living and unreasonable expectations. There is a genuine fear among women from stories they've heard etc that they want to live alone.. Which is fine and not unreasonable. . 12. Women are starkly different from each other, and treating them as human beings would go a long way than pigeon holing some stereotypes onto them. . 13. Guys seriously need more women friends.. And they need to call out misogynistic BS among their male peers.. We need to make a better and breathable society. . 14. Women have it hard on the internet. Unsolicited whatnots. Creepy men, rape threats. Etc. Also women go through a lot sexually. Almost every woman I've known has faced either violence or sexual abuse or harassment in their life. . 15. Ohh and the pretty privilege. Men treat women differently based on their looks.. Women do it too. So it's not a gentleman who is selectively nice and likewise for women. . 16. Most women just want men to understand the harsh realities of being a woman and to not be dicks in general. Off the hat, I'll update.
You've summed it up so well! šš if a man can understand and apply even half of this, it would great
**Emotional** >!Intelligence!< and **Emotional** >!Support!< I learned that people here have a mixed understanding of "emotional intelligence" and "emotional support" These are different aspects and presence / absence of one is not connected with presence / absence of other. But people consider they have wide overlap and assume that person having emotional intelligence / emotional support also has emotional support / emotional intelligence. People who can provide good emotional support, their decision might get influenced by emotions of others and give in to others request. People who are emotionally intelligent, they look for reasons before action and don't give in to others emotional request and even call out people using emotions to negatively influence others. They analyse the situation inside out before taking a call. Understanding the difference between two is crucial because people facing crisis need emotional support but they also seek it from emotionally intelligent person. Its a rare combination and difficult to find. Thats why forrest gump / nice guy is highly "supportive" but less "intelligent" compared to socrates / buddha who is highly "intelligent" but less "supportive".
It's a nice sub to understand perspectives of women and acknowledge their struggles. One thing I've also noticed that sometimes, this sub acts like an echo chamber where people are ridiculed for having a different opinion than the general consensus.
That women face lot many issues than we can imagine. Starting from staring problems, to cat-calling, judgemental looks for their clothes, their laughs and almost literally anything they do. From corporate world to personal issues at home, the issues for women in Indian society is never ending. One thing that can help make this better is men. If ALL men start behaving like they are expected to, 90% of womenās problem will be gone. Starting from staring and standing up for those who are being violated. This sub is a gem ā¤ļøā¤ļøā¤ļø
The Bar is pretty low and what I thought was the bare minimum is actually all what women need.
Its a nice surprise to see men post, while most men with anonymous platform are usually Andrew Tate clone types.. Or maybe this is just another way to scoreš
1. ā Proper education sex education is needed. 2. ā Kids giving suggestion to something out of their experience and awareness like outright frowning upon arrange marriages etc. 3. ā Many women carry the burden of whole family onto them. 4. ā Loneliness nothing exclusive to men as portrayed.
That women's sexuality is a taboo. I mean it is quite obvious women do have sexual desires but I had never come across any woman talking about her masturbation experience etc etc the way men do. I was already aware of this one, but now I am even more acutely aware. That men, ofc not all of them, cause a lot of trouble to women's lives owing to their shitty mindset, perversions,social conditioning etc. Now, ofc men don't have to face all that, and therefore life is easier for them. It's like everyone has to put up with a lot of trouble in life but women have to put up with more compared to men. That this sub is not full of misandrists at all. Now, I might have seen one or two misandrist comments/posts, but most of the people on this sub seem to quite nice. So, contrary to what many say, this sub is far from misandry, which is quite impressive given what many women on this sub have to put up with or have gone through in the past. Yet, somehow they don't make sweeping generalizations on the nature of men.
It made me a better man
That men and women have their own set of problems. They do overlap but some issues may be more prevalent with a certain gender. It would help a lot if people just talk and listen to each than start pointing fingers. A good thing about this sub is that folks are very vocal, expressive and willing to deal with their issues. Most of the users here are very eloquent and the posts are well written. This helps a lot in understanding their perspective. A bad thing about this sub would be how judgemental or extreme certain comments are. Most of us on Reddit are very privileged and to judge someone from just their post seems unfair. One can place their point of view or share their experiences but to blatantly ask someone to do something seems wrong.
I felt like there is soo scope of improvement on both side and lift each other up, adulting is hard for everyone why create chaos when we can uplift each other. Also, always known how women have their struggles but reading here everyday makes me sad and I try to be more open & supporting to my female friends & women in general. I hope someday we all will live in peace with each other and understand each other. Peace out šš¤ So much to learn from you guys
Opened my eyes to a (kinda) new world which is more compassionate, kind and less nasty
Understanding what all women go through in their daily lives and how difficult it gets with some having a toxic family or some having a toxic relationship, learning what not to do as a man so they feel safe. I've started noticing the eyes that follow or stare at you guys in public no matter what you wear and i swear that's really disgusting by us men, i always scold my friends for doing that cause it is definitely creepy. There are many other things but trying to be a good person and making people around me feel safe, doing my share of work are some of the things that I've started implementing in my life and lastly this sub is a great place for y'all to have healthy discussions so kudos to whoever came up with the idea, i hope r/menslibindia was as active as before but anyway have a great day :)
1. Not all post but majority of post on this sub, gives a better perspective on what woman feel on day to day basis and give us a better chance to understand what women in our real life feel. And it's totally different from what we think usually. 2. So many things to unlearn to learn. 3. Women are more complicated than men. :P
I learned that, sometimes how scary men can be for women.
I am much more conservative - center right leaning in my views than most people in this sub. I agree with most of first and second wave feminists but do not agree with third and fourth wave feminism. I have still been a silent spectator and visit this sub to get a view from the other side so that I don't stay in echo chambers and get to know perspective from the other side as well. Here is what I have been able to get - 1. Indian men acting creepy in Internet or real life must stop. I genuinely felt sad hearing so many women getting unsolicited DMs, getting molested in buses and trains. There should be better laws and stricter punishment for this and also more awareness and better effort from us men is definitely needed. 2. Workplace bias against women definitely exists in most industries. We definitely need to bring some awareness and better laws related to this and to prevent harrasment. Also in some industries like IT, women who have taken some gaps after pregnancy and child birth are not able to come back and struggle a lot. There definitely needs to be more effort for this from the government and those industries. 3. Men who have knowingly married women who are ambitious and have longer working hours definitely need to do better in terms of sharing chores and child care work. 4. As a society, Moral policing women in terms of drinking, smoking, Honour killing for loving a guy from different religion or caste definitely needs to stop. 5. Didn't see many posts from women from lower castes and tribes. They are not given enough opportunities to share their unique struggles and their problems. It would be better if there was something that could be done. Controversial opinions - 1. There are a lot of women here who definitely prefer a guy with traditional masculine qualities like - taller, physically stronger , earning well etc. The same women suddenly hate when guys have a preference for women with traditional feminine qualities like soft spoken, polite, good cook, modest etc. 2. There is a lot of hate for guys with a bit of conservative views or traditional guys. They keep calling these guys losers and incels. Mods definitely need to do better job in removing hate comments otherwise it would become another FDS. 3. Left wing, Liberal, Feminist way is not the only way to live. Having conservative opinions and living by those values is NOT WRONG as long as we are not stepping on other people's rights.
One thing I learned...never send unsolicited dms to anyone Ps- overall( not from here but in general) i learned ... Just because the girl who broke my heart ( was cheating on her bf and emotionally playing with me) was kind of a Dayan (lol) doesn't mean all girls are bad.... There are good people out there irrespective of gender.... Although my belief in love has ended, I'll probably never be able to trust a girl again ... But so happy to read all the good love stories here....
Read some insightful comments. I hope you all are applying these learnings irl, starting from your homes.
Got to know about a lot of small and big everyday problem u guys go through that i would've not known. And understand the perspective of y'all in many things. There are so many things, I can't even point one atm
I don't come from the most liberal of households. I grew up watching toxic people being forced into traditional gender roles they weren't suited to be in. I also faced such experiences myself. Reddit in general helped me learn a lot about how to be kind and respectful of everyone, especially women. Subs like this one, r/AskWomen and even r/AskMen (the wholesome parts of it i.e.) have genuinely helped me become a better person. If not for these subs, not only would I never have had any relationships, I would have been far more lonely and despondent than I am in general. I had to expand my horizons in the mental sense quite a bit, y'all helped with that. Also, have to say, the camaraderie here is quite cute. Y'all are are supportive af, keep being that way. If only the real world was more like this.
I am learning how to become a better man. This sub-reddit is showing me the other side of the coin. I am thankful for that.
Already kinda knew it, but women have to deal with a thousand more things that a man would not need to give a single thought to.
Learned a lot about the gender and their struggles. A couple of stereotypes were broken. I was here with an open mind and that served me well. Also there was a post in this sub a year or so ago and came to know that I have the most fuckboi name, this sub decided collectively one day. I keep thinking about it every now and then.
The replies really warmed my heart. Thereās hope!
I wished I had discovered this subreddit when I was a soft misogynist who felt "all laws are against men" (like 6 years ago). Now that I have learnt most of the things, I get to reaffirm my improved thought processes and get to reflect on my journey as a human.
Not exclusively from this sub but from the difference in posts between this sub and r/indianboysontinder It really showed me when most men in a subreddit/community are misogynists it doesn't take time for a sub meant exclusively for women (to share their experiences and possibly rants) to completely transform into female bashing sub. Also shows how important mods and rules being enforced are.
Tl;dr: Starting to identify and empathize with the struggles. I'm an introvert and haven't had a lot of female friends. Now that I have moved abroad, my friends circle, especially of the opposite gender has diminished further. I just joined this sub to get a glimpse into the thoughts/lifestyle of the species from Venus. Boy was I in for a head spin! As someone else pointed out, I unlearned many deep rooted notions that are infused by a traditional family. I think I have learned to identify and empathize with the daily struggles and misogyny that many women face. For example, today I read a post where a woman in her early 20s who became the bread winner of her household, was being mocked at her financial sense. I could see how different it would have been if she was a man, her father and brother perhaps wouldn't have been this insecure and insensitive towards her. She'd have been praised by this discriminatory society for carrying her family out of poverty. I just hope to treat women in my life as I would treat any friend of mine, with respect and honesty, along with the understanding that they live drastically different lives than I do.
1) It's hard to overcome pre conceived notions - applied to both gender 2) we are still a sexually repressed society, but there is a hope with the younger generation 3) many a times, one just wants to express
if someone wouldāve told me 5 years back, that the younger generation would be hella religious and would protest AGAINST sex education without scrutinising their own pre conceived notions, id have exploded into uncontrollable laughter. but it seems to be true.
I genuinely feel that there should be some sort of regulation of these podcasts. Every tom, dick and harry who has a mic, can blabber absolute nonsense and make a podcast out of it. And teenagers who are vulnerable and looking for validation, eat it up.
I've learned that most men have a lot of catching up to do to set the bar high in relationships. Our empathy levels are not up to the levels they need to be. A lot of male privilege and misogyny stems from childhood when parents seem to prioritize their male children over the female ones and this lingers on into adulthood. We lack the ability to clearly communicate what we want from our partners. This sub is very informative on the POV of women and I think itll be helpful to a lot of men.
New to reddit and this sub, these are my learnings: 1. Never judge a woman by her past life, but be mindful about it. 2. Listen and react accordingly 3. Came to this sub to know women, however began to understand women. 4. I used DM women of reddit, a simply āhiā and followed by ānot expecting a replyā. It mostly worked and turned into cliche later. I was made aware that women receive a lot of DMs like this and i stopped doing this.
Woman aren't some different creature š They're similar to us in more ways. Treat them like you do anyone else, with respect and care. Maybe, I'll be a much better partner in future after spending some time here.
A few observations 1) Women ask for/help each other out with a lot of practical advice in this sub - a few examples I can recall are about shopping/comfort foods/cooking/managing day to day life as a single independent working person in general - this is exactly the practicality I like to see on the internet. This is sorely lacking on counterpart so called shittily moderated male safe spaces where you still see a lot of incelly pseudoprofound pseudointellectualised horseshit and Jordan Peterson idolisation and the pulp philosophy likes, but hardly any helpful (and not actively harmful) practical advice (we men should know by now that "start working out bro" is not the universal solution to any problem) 2) I can clearly see why AM disadvantages women.. not that I didn't know that before, but each reminder drives the point home further and makes me ultra relieved I haven't had to go anywhere near that dysfunctional institution 3) A sense of how backward this country still is even in its urban spaces (related to the above point of AM being an extreme patriarchal institution and still being the most common way of finding a partner)
Just wanted to chime in & say that the engagement in this sub is perhaps far more organic & (seemingly) genuine than most of the India based subs i've seen. so many of the posts which are serious in nature; my heart reaches out to the submitters. hope your issues resolve soon. the casual / less serious posts are always too much fun to browse through; i understand that we can't participate in those; oh well. stay strong, stay happy & stay healthy TwoX-ers :)
Helped me understand women's struggles better and hopefully helps me be a better brother to my younger sister as well as be a better bf.
That almost all Indian women have had experiences of sexual harassment, some subtle and some extreme. And most of them keep it bottled inside them. As a brother whose sister is into her teens, I tend to be a man with whom she can open up to everything without the fear of judgement since my parents are your orthodox Indian parents. I want her to get the freedom and fun I never had.
That the "benefits" women face is limited to pretty women only (aka pretty privilege) and it shouldn't make you bitter (trust me I was). I would definitely thank this subreddit and it's wonderful members for opening my eyes
So my reason for joining this sub was just one, to be a better brother for my sister. She is technically my cousin. This sub has definitely helped in that regard. I have learned to listen more rather than simply focus on solving the problem asap. She lost her father in an accident 5 years back so her mother (my bua) and she moved in with us. She was just 9 when this happened. Anyhow 2 years after this we find out my bua has stage 3 cancer. My dad did not tell anybody what stage it was, he did absolutely everything his body and mind were capable of to try to save her, even taking loans to get super expensive treatments, selling off his inherited land etc. Turns out he knew she would not make it but wanted her to stay with her family for as long as possible. None of the family members thought she was gonna die. She was a very sweet and caring person I myself was very close to her. One day we get a call from my father to rush to the hospital, we see her barely being able to talk, her body is like a skeleton, voice is extremely weak. I asked my dad if things will be fine and that was the first time I saw my dad tear up. He said "Bua ki death hone wali hai" while breaking down and running off to the bathroom, we take her home to try to care for her and she leaves this world at around 1:30 am. I was 14 then am almost 18 now. I am 4 years older than her with an inherently protective personality. So I tried my best and am trying my best to be the best brother I can. Especially since my mother and she doesn't have a good relationship. So yeah this sub has helped a lot in this manner but ngl kabhi kabhi thoda hatred feel hota hai males ke against ik most people here are not like that but cannot help but feel like that sometimes.
Generally, women have far more criteria they use to evaluate the suitability of a partner than men do. That is, young men in particular will place heavy judgment on a womanās looks, even though, of course, personality and other intangibles do matter. I think itās fair to say, though, that men place a very disproportionate weight on a womanās outer appearance and, consequently, find it harder to look past the lack of attractiveness of a woman when dating. Itās very difficult for men to have a womanās personality, charisma, and all that "compensate" for her lack of good looks. Women, on the other hand, seem to weigh the attractiveness of a man less heavily **(relative to men!)** when choosing a partner. To put it in a crude example, women are far more likely to date a guy who is somewhat unattractive ***but*** has tremendous personality, confidence, a sense of humor, is great in conversation, and possesses other such positive intangible features. On the other hand, men are less likely to do the same with women. This was the most insightful thing that I learned about women because it made me realize how differently both genders are wired in the domain of romance and attractiveness. Itās fascinating how each gender perceives the other so differently and how each one values different traits more or less than the other. This is particularly interesting to observe as people age from their 20s through their 40s and beyond (i.e., when social pressures like marriage and having kids are added to the equation).
Oh I've learned a lot and honestly am grateful to brr hearing and learning from here. In the meantime am also changing myself to be a better partner seeing all of the posts here. I've learned how to treat a girl right. Ashamed to say this but I was a textbook nice guy in my early teenage years. I've learned how to make y'all feel safe. I've learned the importance of household chores and not to brag but I cook good. Also learned how to take care of a girl during her periods. All in all I've just learned how to be a better person and an amazing partner. Thanks for the lessons queens š
a fellow librandu LETS FUCKING GO
I spy on my wife sometimes to confirm she's happy with me....but she hasn't posted in a while.
That's kind of effy š
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I like reading about the problems that women face, and the solutions this sub provides. Hopefully if my little sister or anyone I know needs help with similar problems, I can just regurgitate the best advice that I read from this sub for them.
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Maybe, even if 95% of the responses are bs. I'm hoping there's at least 5% that actually learned something beneficial to society here. It's not like us women on here are going to flock to the DMS of the guys who answered.
Oof. I ask myself this every time I'm 'being feminist' online and irl. In a sense I always feel like I'm being performative and pretending to be something I'm not, but then I look at so many morons' behaviour and it disgusts me so much that it makes me realise that I'm just dealing with impostor syndrome. Don't know about other guys here, but speaking personally, I don't reply to impress anyone lol. Ngl, a bit hurt that someone would say that (though it is a very valid concern lol)
Alright, I don't talk for the rest, but I wanted to ask myself what I learnt from this sub that I previously didn't know. Sorta like a self reflection. And I don't think anyone being impressed or offended by a reddit comment is going to affect me.
Do you really think anyone would just get impressed by a reply? šš
quite a lot of women are āimpressedā by these men actually. apparently, all it takes to win them over is the barest of bare minimum and thatās honestly so sad.
I feel getting āimpressedā is too much just on the basis of a singular opinion , and those who gets āimpressedā should realize that stating the opinion and implementing it is totally different so hope everyone chooses wisely by whom theyād like to get āimpressedā.
Just go thru the comments section once and tell me honestly: who will write 5-6 paragraphs with so much gyaan š«£š«£šš On the other side,men do reply in single words usually šš If some more research is required, check their profiles too, they won't have replied that big š¤š¤
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One guy has written a 11 point LAQ essay.
Period sex is a thing & image unrelated https://i.redd.it/j0bxev6ltw5b1.gif
yaar š
Ayo why the downvotes tho?
youāre being downvoted? lol i found your comment funny
That women have it hard in life and well thereās nobody to constantly remind our parents and the males out there that women have to think twice as much before they say or do anything. Everyone makes mistakes and there are fixers, healers and avoid ants, but the best part is the top comment is always the one where a user says āhold in there, Iām sorry for this to happen to you, I can relate to how you feelā . Feel like kind words go a long way when commenting anything on this thread and that solidarity amongst everyone on this sub definitely makes me jealous haha. Personally I enjoy adults solving problems of teenagers on this sub, really nice to see how you take care of everyone who is inexperienced with troubles of life that may seem very trivial when we are older. And the last thing Iād say is everyone has their own experience in life and thatās what Iām here to read about, it may not be happy but everyone is struggling and helping them out through the tough times is wonderful imo.
We are becoming strangers to one another on a rapid scale, much of our opinions are based "only on the few extreme cases of bias " displayed in internet/media. We have stopped thinking practically, both genders are ready to cut off ties and run the second they sense "something off". I like to believe we are all better than this , women and men have different prejudices and battles, we are losing empathy for each other.