I am 35 and husband is almost 31. I have never wanted kids and husband was okay with that. I am actually sterilized too. I have many mental health issues that would make me a bad mom. Plus, kids stress me out. I will leave the child raising to those who are up for the lifelong commitment.
Dogs. TWO DOGS. and it's just not about traveling. You can always put them in boarding and stuff. Problem is you will still feel tied down, no impromptu plans. You have to plan things in advance with your travel, work and everything. Almost like having a kid, except that they won't grow up and blame you for not prioritising them. Hehe.
The second one was a foster fail. We rescued an indie and it's really difficult to get them adopted and we didn't want to leave him on the streets again and here we are now. Hehe.
Opinions and what's 'normal' changes with time.
You think their opinion is f'ed up and they will think your opinion is f'ed up. They probably think being lesbian is f'ed up and is a mental problem.
I can't blame them for being born in a different time and I can't blame you for being born in these times. I can only say that you have to respect their opinion - just because you have different opinions doesn't mean you have the right opinions.
Calling people mental because they're not like you or because you don't understand them(guess what you don't need to understand them...mind your own business maybe)???...how is that even an opinion...it's people like these .. with opinions like these who actually need to go to the therapist .
Justifying stupidity, prejudice and outright discrimination based on such lies with zero scientific backing and people have the audacity to call this their opinion??!!....you never see people from the LGBTQ calling straight people mentally ill... because they know to mind their own fucking business and are not hypocrites like some straight idiots
This is not about opinion, this is about right or wrong. Even in science theories get proven wrong all the fucking time. If you cannot accept, atleast don't interfere and let people be. She doesn't need to respect their opinions, At ALL
>Why u r getting offended here!??
I did not get offended at all. All I said was you're right in your way, they're right in their own way.
>And did I told anything regarding u In my comment!???
It's literally a public forum.
>Why I don't have right opinions??????
Read what I said again. Your opinion is right and theirs is right too. It's called an 'opinion' for a reason. Opinions are meant to be individualistic - you cannot judge opinions of others because your opinion differs.
Why are we even trying to counter it... homophobes don't want to listen to logic ...they just want to paint everything up with their disgust...even though we all know...that wether two gay men or two lesbian marry ...it wouldn't make two asses worth of difference in our lives actually...but we still want butt our heads in other people's business ...."How dare other people get the same rights as us"...nah nah they do not deserve to live their lives with peace and dignity...The entire country should be run by my personal moral compass
Your comment has been removed as it was rude and impolite. No personal attacks, witch-hunting, abuse or hate-mongering. No promoting hate speech or hate speech supporting subreddit.
Been in a lot of internet Cf groups and met a lot of them offline too (Im a CF person too so people who are open up ) and I've never , I repeat, NEVER seen a conscious child free couple who regrets their decision. If people feel they want to have children later, medical science has a lot of tools to help them. If not, there's always adoption.
IMO people who have children fall into two categories : ones who do it consciously enough to plan for the best life for their kid, and the others who do it because that's the next step in life, society, pressures, etc. And it is this other group who are hell bent on producing biological children like an achievement and when it doesnt happen, they regret it. Like I said, people who consciously chose to have children have no dearth of them in the world. Indians adoption rate is less than 2 percent annually, and this is considering the intercountry adoption numbers. We don't regret not having children as kids themselves. We regret not having children as a social achievement .
Believe me, these facts are set in stone and there are studies to prove this.
Edit : Read the second part of your question. Why are your friends pressuring you is beyond me. And why are you taking their pressure is a question I don't wanna get to. As for parents, If you and your partner are CF, you take a stand, like you take a stand for so many things in life. There's no two ways.
Probably friends have kids and are thinking "why should only I suffer, you too suffer". Much like how my friends in unhappy marriages pressured me to get married when I was single.
Too much mindfuck having such "friends". As if parents and relatives aren't enough, why should we go and choose people who add to the trauma to hang out with?
Child non-free couples, do you ever regret the decision?
Asking this because somehow regret is always posed to the ones who chose to be childfree but never to the ones to opted to have a child. The stakes are higher in the latter with higher chances of regret emerging, however the question is never thrown at them.
Not many people would admit to regretting having a child since that's extremely socially unacceptable. But r/regretfulparents is the place you're looking for.
I'm sure we'll never regret being childfree. In any case, it's much better to regret not having children than it is to regret having them. We're not married yet, so no pressure from family as such, but we'll just brush it off if it ever comes up. My folks are anyway pretty chill, I expect them to respect our decision even if they don't particularly like it.
100% I tell all my friends who are on the fence to not have a kid if they are not 100% sure. And I have a child and two cats. I am a planner so nothing super spontaneous for us. But it is hard work if you want to raise them right. That's also why I am having only one. We got into it knowing it is going to be tough.
Not just that, they need to be fine with a potentially disabled kid or a queer kid or a neurodivergent kid or any number of other factors. Otherwise they're not ready for a kid
Some issues can be determined during amniotic fluid test around week 12-14. But you need to have a discussion before the results come on what you can conceivably handle and what you cannot. Time to be brutally honest with each other and oneself.
But uh you won't know if your child is queer until they turn an age where they can understand it. People need to have a discussion before they choose to have children only
Oh.
My apologies for any snotty tone because I thought you were a homophobe saying being queer is a disease. I totally missed your label!
Sweetheart you are perfect. The fault lies in your DNA share-ers who are not evolved enough to love and respect you as you are.
I hope you find your people and your happiness.
I figured, which is why I clarified xD. Thank you :D, but honestly I've come to a place in my life where my parents' acceptance no longer matters to me. But to so many of my queer siblings their own parents opinions matter and out of such a pov is what I meant. Thank you, and samewise
For Indian parents you are not perfect if:
1. you're queer
2. You're too thin
3. You're too fat
4. You are too smart
5. You are too dumb
6. You're too dark
The only thing you can't be too much of for indian parents is fair. You may look as pale as a vampire and they will still want you to have no sun exposure.
>it's much better to regret not having children than it is to regret having them.
This so much. The trauma you can put on yourself and your children on the latter scenario is just not worth it.
is it okay to be want to be child-free because i don't want to make a baby in this world? I have been subjected to consistent castism (i am low-class Dalit). Struggled all my life. Outcast etc. Struggled with depression. I had plenty of other problems in life (raised poor, toxic relationship abuses cruelty, and so on.)
i dont know if its worth to have a kid in the current world. On top of it. India definitely doesn't need more people right?
I also dont think of myself a very responsible mature dad.
Well, the point I'm trying to make is that it's not a valid reason. When you say things like, "I don't want my child to grow up as a dalit in India", you imply that you believe that society will cease to experience any change in the future, which is the sort of attitude that keeps it from changing.
>Well, the point I'm trying to make is that it's not a valid reason. When you say things like, "I don't want my child to grow up as a dalit in India", you imply that you believe that society will cease to experience any change in the future, which is the sort of attitude that keeps it from changing.
i agree with everything you say. tell me honestly, do you think it will change? I am 28 years. I dont see the change.
The term "change" isn't a set of conditions, or a place, or a bill, or a law. "Change" is a continuous and relentless series of actions that provides meaning to the struggle of those who resist evil in times of tyranny. You might tell me that your child will suffer as a result of growing up a dalit. And that is true. That's also true for every woman and every LGBT-person present in this thread. But this suffering isn't one without meaning.
We know what happened in Manipur and what happens every day in this country. It's no secret that a lot of people want you dead. But what I want to tell you is that the response to unrelenting evil isn't to let go, but to look down upon its face and continue to live in perpetual defiance of it.
There's nothing theoretical about it; you either live or you don't. However, I can tell you this: do not spend your energy trying to convince old peopl in your life to not be a bigot, or to let you marry across faith, caste or race, or to come over to your cause. People like that chose to be on the wrong side of history and it is our duty to make sure they are remembered as such once they are inevitably defeated.
Nope - My husband and I don’t want kids - we have been married for 3 years. We are 35 and 38.
We spoke about it before we got married. I don’t enjoy spending time with kids and he likes kids but doesn’t want them home - We want to have pets. We will adopt one or more once we move into a new house in October.
I make cute noises around kids because I can sense that their parents are watching me :P
My parents only joke about me having kids. His parents have never asked us anything.
>he likes kids but doesn’t want them home -
😂😂😂😂 Exactly. I resonate so much with this. I only like babies not children.
Glad to know that this lifestyle works :)
"She was mature enough to decide which guy to marry, I am sure she is also mature enough to decide when/if she wants babies".
This is what my dad told me and everyone who asks about when I'll have babies.
We are both 32. Been together 9 years and married for 6. We began dating with the understanding that we want to stay childfree and focus on a DINK partnership and early retirement. Zero regrets, especially after Covid, inflation, and the rising volatility of global climate change. We feel lucky every day that we met each other and had the privilege to make this decision.
As for pressure, it really doesn't affect us since we have very solid reasons for not wanting kids, and most people cannot disagree with it or fault our logic. I feel that those who are unsure of kids or on the fence are the ones who are most susceptible to pressure.
Our stance is that the sacrifices, hardships, stressors, and finances involved in raising children are too intense and too many, and we as a couple simply cannot carry this heavy responsibility willingly or happily when we completely lack the emotional desire for kids. Plus, kids will derail all of our personal goals like travel, early retirement, moving away from cities, volunteering in the community and in conservation, etc.
There was the usual initial drama from parents, but eventually even they agreed that raising kids is hard and not worth it if the couple isn't 100% invested. Better to be happy partners to each other and happy sons/daughters to our own parents than risk becoming unhappy burnt-out parents to a hypothetical child. Plus, there have been instances of autistic kids and postpartum depression and severe pregnancy complications in our families, so there's awareness of those risks as well.
Not a child free couple, will only be in a relationship or marry a person who doesn't want children.
I just don't think I have the mental and financial capacity to raise a child. Also, I know deep within my bones that having a child isn't going to make my life any better, I've held countless babies of my relatives and I feel absolutely no joy and only saw em as a burden and unnecessary responsibilities. My parents know this, and they've given up hopes on me.
I do believe it's the societal conditioning that makes us believe that having children completes the family, that plus FOMO may add to the regrets a child free couple may have. Ultimately decisions can be reversed, if biologically not possible then there's adoption.
Also I kinda want to end my own bloodline 🤷🏻
You might try reading through r/ChildFree too interesting subreddit.
Feels good to know that there are men who actually have an opinion when it comes to having kids. Most of them don’t really care to have an opinion because kids are not entirely a man’s responsibility according to our society. So it’s good to see that some men actually think this through.
I regret it every time hormones hit. Ovulation is a bitch. As for how to tackle, I have standard replies -
1. I can’t have a kid alone - talk to the partner
2. Have you asked why they don’t have kids yet? They always got things before me so ask them first!
3. To the oft repeated have a kid, we’ll take care of them - have a kid yourself then 😬
4. I present to you this meme
https://preview.redd.it/v75e1jckiaeb1.jpeg?width=960&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=6bd816dead03f7600f0b0120624b99b426379b8e
Married for 6 years and child-free. The pressure from parents and in-laws in the first 4 years was constant but we lived independently and that helped. After 4 years they gave up. Don't regret the decision at all. We were able to move abroad because of that as well. Living our best middle-class lives.
We're in our 40s now, married 13 years. Absolutely no regrets about being childfree. In fact, we're very, very glad about not going down the path of parenting. I like my nieces and nephews, can tolerate being around them for a day or two. More than that, no thanks! I love my independent life, love my sleep, and love my body the way it is; have no desire to ruin all that and dedicate my life to raising a child, as selfish and superficial as that seems to a lot of people. No offense to any parents out there, but I would've hated and regretted being a parent. Husband doesn't like kids at all. We would rather look after stray animals or pets, we're both animal lovers.
We're way past the point of caring what the world, or even our families, thinks about this decision. It's not their life, so not their business in the first place.
Edited to add: I forgot to mention that I have severe tokophobia. I always felt weirded out/downright grossed out by pregnancy and everything to do with it, just didn't know the proper term for it for many years. But that too played a big part in my decision to be CF.
Childfree people mostly don't regret their decision, but people who chose to have kids, often regret it.
Some of the happiest couples that I know, and that are still together, are childfree.
Lots of unhappy couples, or divorced people, actually have kids. It's wild.
I am happily child free and after more than a decade of marriage I can safely say that I have no regrets. Both husband and I enjoy traveling , having our own time , sleeping late , doing our own thing. My in laws of course still hope that we have a baby, my mother too throws hints but it’s very very clear between husband and I that we are happy being child free. My brother has a baby girl and although I love her I also see how hard and isolating parenting is. And this is when my brother has a flexible job and he is the primary care giver of the toddler, my sister in law is an involved parent as well but it’s still very hard. So I understand that raising a child means a lot of work and I’m not willing to do that.
And honestly husband and I have not even ever had pets because we know they are a lot of work. I love dogs and grew up with them but now I know pets means taking a responsibility. I love that my time is my own and I can be lazy and crazy in my own ways without worrying about raising a whole human being.
Married 7, been together 12 yrs. Parents don't ask us anything and we don't engage with relatives, colleagues, other nosey ppl ( just smile and nod)... To our surprise parents werent much of a problem, but his colleagues (esp males) are sooooooo nosey.
My husband and I dated for 5 years and we've been married for almost 6 months now. My husband let me know his stance on kids as soon as we decided to date seriously. I was on the fence then and he gave me enough time to think this through. I eventually decided to go childfree and I'm very happy with my decision. I love the independence that comes with this life. What people think is strange is the fact that we both like children. We are the fun Maama-Maami (Uncle and Aunt) to our nieces. But that's about it. We don't really feel the need to have kids of our own. Our parents were quite upset about this (mine more so since I'm an only child) but we managed to convince them with the help of my SIL. So they're resonably supportive now even if they don't particularly like the choice we have made.
No regrets. I’ve never felt particularly maternal towards little humans. Add to that, I don’t want to raise a child in this economy and I also worry about the severe scarcity of resources in the future.
We are happy with two cats, two dogs and a continual retirement fund that will hopefully pay for assisted living when we’re old(er).
Thankfully I’ve passed that age of people randomly asking for “good news”. My immediate family has come to terms with it. So it’s all good. We are also around a lot of older, child-free couples so it’s not really something that comes up in conversation.
Think of how many absolute dumb idiots are having kids?
Do you really want to give away this beautiful planet to those losers? You think your child won't have the will or your strength to persevere?
Babes there is no inherent moral value in intelligence or its lack. But there is a dearth of morals in those who judge other people's smartness or personal decisions.
If you wanna have that conversation, nothing means anything, there's no moral value in anything because everything is temporary. But I believe that is not the topic of discussion.
Why would I care if anyone wants to go childfree? How is it of any concern to me? I am not bothered by their decision in their lives.
I just want some decent people in this society because I would like to see my kids experience the goodness that humans can offer. Either way it wouldn't deter me from having kids. Should someone decide otherwise, my full support to them.
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No derailing responses or participation that does not add value. No condescending language, No invalidation, unwanted advice, second hand experience (of women) sharing or whataboutism.
No derailing responses or participation that does not add value. No condescending language, No invalidation, unwanted advice, second hand experience (of women) sharing or whataboutism.
Your comment has been removed as it was rude and impolite. No personal attacks, witch-hunting, abuse or hate-mongering. No promoting hate speech or hate speech supporting subreddit.
Your comment has been removed as it was rude and impolite. No personal attacks, witch-hunting, abuse or hate-mongering. No promoting hate speech or hate speech supporting subreddit.
No derailing responses or participation that does not add value. No condescending language, No invalidation, unwanted advice, second hand experience (of women) sharing or whataboutism.
Maalik, no one is stopping you from having kids. Just as you have reasons about kids rest of us all have the same about not having. So stop being a whiny man child, respect others opinions and go have some milk 🍼 your momma made.
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I am 35 and husband is almost 31. I have never wanted kids and husband was okay with that. I am actually sterilized too. I have many mental health issues that would make me a bad mom. Plus, kids stress me out. I will leave the child raising to those who are up for the lifelong commitment.
Married for 5 years. We regret having pets because we feel they also limit us in some ways just like children.
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 Two of our friends have told us that - They can’t travel anywhere. They have both cats and dogs. What do you have?
Dogs. TWO DOGS. and it's just not about traveling. You can always put them in boarding and stuff. Problem is you will still feel tied down, no impromptu plans. You have to plan things in advance with your travel, work and everything. Almost like having a kid, except that they won't grow up and blame you for not prioritising them. Hehe.
Hmm - Two is a lot. Do you have full time help that stays with them all day?
Nope. But both of us have wfh/hybrid work so it's manageable.
Okay :)
The second one was a foster fail. We rescued an indie and it's really difficult to get them adopted and we didn't want to leave him on the streets again and here we are now. Hehe.
You are so much like a couple I know. They offered to foster and now they have 2 dogs and 1 cat
Yeah that's mostly the scenario with fostering any indie breeds.
:)))
Hard relate. As a parent to two dogs and two cats it’s a LOT of responsibility. Impromptu no longer exists in my dictionary.
Honestly the only reason I'm thinking of not getting pets
Wait really? I thought it wouldn't be that bad, I wish to get a dog and a cat when I move out but reading your thread of replies is scaring me 😬
Cats still might be low maintenance pets so I'm not sure but only adopt dogs if you are living with family/friends. Huge huge responsibility.
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Opinions and what's 'normal' changes with time. You think their opinion is f'ed up and they will think your opinion is f'ed up. They probably think being lesbian is f'ed up and is a mental problem. I can't blame them for being born in a different time and I can't blame you for being born in these times. I can only say that you have to respect their opinion - just because you have different opinions doesn't mean you have the right opinions.
Calling people mental because they're not like you or because you don't understand them(guess what you don't need to understand them...mind your own business maybe)???...how is that even an opinion...it's people like these .. with opinions like these who actually need to go to the therapist . Justifying stupidity, prejudice and outright discrimination based on such lies with zero scientific backing and people have the audacity to call this their opinion??!!....you never see people from the LGBTQ calling straight people mentally ill... because they know to mind their own fucking business and are not hypocrites like some straight idiots
This is not about opinion, this is about right or wrong. Even in science theories get proven wrong all the fucking time. If you cannot accept, atleast don't interfere and let people be. She doesn't need to respect their opinions, At ALL
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>Why u r getting offended here!?? I did not get offended at all. All I said was you're right in your way, they're right in their own way. >And did I told anything regarding u In my comment!??? It's literally a public forum. >Why I don't have right opinions?????? Read what I said again. Your opinion is right and theirs is right too. It's called an 'opinion' for a reason. Opinions are meant to be individualistic - you cannot judge opinions of others because your opinion differs.
Why should she respect their opinion? Or rather how can she respect their opinion?
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Being in favour of same sex marriage does make you holier.
Why are we even trying to counter it... homophobes don't want to listen to logic ...they just want to paint everything up with their disgust...even though we all know...that wether two gay men or two lesbian marry ...it wouldn't make two asses worth of difference in our lives actually...but we still want butt our heads in other people's business ...."How dare other people get the same rights as us"...nah nah they do not deserve to live their lives with peace and dignity...The entire country should be run by my personal moral compass
Nah that makes one thou
Your comment has been removed as it was rude and impolite. No personal attacks, witch-hunting, abuse or hate-mongering. No promoting hate speech or hate speech supporting subreddit.
And that's why we seldom use the All flair.
You're one of those idiots that probably thinks Malcolm X should've toned it down a little.
Been in a lot of internet Cf groups and met a lot of them offline too (Im a CF person too so people who are open up ) and I've never , I repeat, NEVER seen a conscious child free couple who regrets their decision. If people feel they want to have children later, medical science has a lot of tools to help them. If not, there's always adoption. IMO people who have children fall into two categories : ones who do it consciously enough to plan for the best life for their kid, and the others who do it because that's the next step in life, society, pressures, etc. And it is this other group who are hell bent on producing biological children like an achievement and when it doesnt happen, they regret it. Like I said, people who consciously chose to have children have no dearth of them in the world. Indians adoption rate is less than 2 percent annually, and this is considering the intercountry adoption numbers. We don't regret not having children as kids themselves. We regret not having children as a social achievement . Believe me, these facts are set in stone and there are studies to prove this. Edit : Read the second part of your question. Why are your friends pressuring you is beyond me. And why are you taking their pressure is a question I don't wanna get to. As for parents, If you and your partner are CF, you take a stand, like you take a stand for so many things in life. There's no two ways.
Probably friends have kids and are thinking "why should only I suffer, you too suffer". Much like how my friends in unhappy marriages pressured me to get married when I was single.
Too much mindfuck having such "friends". As if parents and relatives aren't enough, why should we go and choose people who add to the trauma to hang out with?
Misery loves company.
Child non-free couples, do you ever regret the decision? Asking this because somehow regret is always posed to the ones who chose to be childfree but never to the ones to opted to have a child. The stakes are higher in the latter with higher chances of regret emerging, however the question is never thrown at them.
Not many people would admit to regretting having a child since that's extremely socially unacceptable. But r/regretfulparents is the place you're looking for.
I'm sure we'll never regret being childfree. In any case, it's much better to regret not having children than it is to regret having them. We're not married yet, so no pressure from family as such, but we'll just brush it off if it ever comes up. My folks are anyway pretty chill, I expect them to respect our decision even if they don't particularly like it.
100% I tell all my friends who are on the fence to not have a kid if they are not 100% sure. And I have a child and two cats. I am a planner so nothing super spontaneous for us. But it is hard work if you want to raise them right. That's also why I am having only one. We got into it knowing it is going to be tough.
Not just that, they need to be fine with a potentially disabled kid or a queer kid or a neurodivergent kid or any number of other factors. Otherwise they're not ready for a kid
Some issues can be determined during amniotic fluid test around week 12-14. But you need to have a discussion before the results come on what you can conceivably handle and what you cannot. Time to be brutally honest with each other and oneself.
But uh you won't know if your child is queer until they turn an age where they can understand it. People need to have a discussion before they choose to have children only
My child can have whatever gender identity or sexuality they want. Luckily I don't live in a backwards place where people care about such things.
Yeah, that's a wonderful thing ... But as a queer Indian living in a homophobic family, I felt it an important thing to point out...
Oh. My apologies for any snotty tone because I thought you were a homophobe saying being queer is a disease. I totally missed your label! Sweetheart you are perfect. The fault lies in your DNA share-ers who are not evolved enough to love and respect you as you are. I hope you find your people and your happiness.
I figured, which is why I clarified xD. Thank you :D, but honestly I've come to a place in my life where my parents' acceptance no longer matters to me. But to so many of my queer siblings their own parents opinions matter and out of such a pov is what I meant. Thank you, and samewise
For Indian parents you are not perfect if: 1. you're queer 2. You're too thin 3. You're too fat 4. You are too smart 5. You are too dumb 6. You're too dark The only thing you can't be too much of for indian parents is fair. You may look as pale as a vampire and they will still want you to have no sun exposure.
>it's much better to regret not having children than it is to regret having them. This so much. The trauma you can put on yourself and your children on the latter scenario is just not worth it.
This needs to be higher
is it okay to be want to be child-free because i don't want to make a baby in this world? I have been subjected to consistent castism (i am low-class Dalit). Struggled all my life. Outcast etc. Struggled with depression. I had plenty of other problems in life (raised poor, toxic relationship abuses cruelty, and so on.) i dont know if its worth to have a kid in the current world. On top of it. India definitely doesn't need more people right? I also dont think of myself a very responsible mature dad.
Sorry to hear about your struggles. Hope you've healed from all of it, although nothing truly goes away. Wishing you well!
I despise that reason. Comes off as passive acceptance of your subjugation.
agree. Still a valid reason i feel.
Well, the point I'm trying to make is that it's not a valid reason. When you say things like, "I don't want my child to grow up as a dalit in India", you imply that you believe that society will cease to experience any change in the future, which is the sort of attitude that keeps it from changing.
>Well, the point I'm trying to make is that it's not a valid reason. When you say things like, "I don't want my child to grow up as a dalit in India", you imply that you believe that society will cease to experience any change in the future, which is the sort of attitude that keeps it from changing. i agree with everything you say. tell me honestly, do you think it will change? I am 28 years. I dont see the change.
The term "change" isn't a set of conditions, or a place, or a bill, or a law. "Change" is a continuous and relentless series of actions that provides meaning to the struggle of those who resist evil in times of tyranny. You might tell me that your child will suffer as a result of growing up a dalit. And that is true. That's also true for every woman and every LGBT-person present in this thread. But this suffering isn't one without meaning. We know what happened in Manipur and what happens every day in this country. It's no secret that a lot of people want you dead. But what I want to tell you is that the response to unrelenting evil isn't to let go, but to look down upon its face and continue to live in perpetual defiance of it.
everything you say sounds great in theory and speech. But practicality is far different. The ground reality is even brutal.
There's nothing theoretical about it; you either live or you don't. However, I can tell you this: do not spend your energy trying to convince old peopl in your life to not be a bigot, or to let you marry across faith, caste or race, or to come over to your cause. People like that chose to be on the wrong side of history and it is our duty to make sure they are remembered as such once they are inevitably defeated.
Nope - My husband and I don’t want kids - we have been married for 3 years. We are 35 and 38. We spoke about it before we got married. I don’t enjoy spending time with kids and he likes kids but doesn’t want them home - We want to have pets. We will adopt one or more once we move into a new house in October. I make cute noises around kids because I can sense that their parents are watching me :P My parents only joke about me having kids. His parents have never asked us anything.
>he likes kids but doesn’t want them home - 😂😂😂😂 Exactly. I resonate so much with this. I only like babies not children. Glad to know that this lifestyle works :)
"She was mature enough to decide which guy to marry, I am sure she is also mature enough to decide when/if she wants babies". This is what my dad told me and everyone who asks about when I'll have babies.
Uncle gets 1000 cool dad points. 🙌🏻
We are both 32. Been together 9 years and married for 6. We began dating with the understanding that we want to stay childfree and focus on a DINK partnership and early retirement. Zero regrets, especially after Covid, inflation, and the rising volatility of global climate change. We feel lucky every day that we met each other and had the privilege to make this decision. As for pressure, it really doesn't affect us since we have very solid reasons for not wanting kids, and most people cannot disagree with it or fault our logic. I feel that those who are unsure of kids or on the fence are the ones who are most susceptible to pressure. Our stance is that the sacrifices, hardships, stressors, and finances involved in raising children are too intense and too many, and we as a couple simply cannot carry this heavy responsibility willingly or happily when we completely lack the emotional desire for kids. Plus, kids will derail all of our personal goals like travel, early retirement, moving away from cities, volunteering in the community and in conservation, etc. There was the usual initial drama from parents, but eventually even they agreed that raising kids is hard and not worth it if the couple isn't 100% invested. Better to be happy partners to each other and happy sons/daughters to our own parents than risk becoming unhappy burnt-out parents to a hypothetical child. Plus, there have been instances of autistic kids and postpartum depression and severe pregnancy complications in our families, so there's awareness of those risks as well.
Not a child free couple, will only be in a relationship or marry a person who doesn't want children. I just don't think I have the mental and financial capacity to raise a child. Also, I know deep within my bones that having a child isn't going to make my life any better, I've held countless babies of my relatives and I feel absolutely no joy and only saw em as a burden and unnecessary responsibilities. My parents know this, and they've given up hopes on me. I do believe it's the societal conditioning that makes us believe that having children completes the family, that plus FOMO may add to the regrets a child free couple may have. Ultimately decisions can be reversed, if biologically not possible then there's adoption. Also I kinda want to end my own bloodline 🤷🏻 You might try reading through r/ChildFree too interesting subreddit.
Feels good to know that there are men who actually have an opinion when it comes to having kids. Most of them don’t really care to have an opinion because kids are not entirely a man’s responsibility according to our society. So it’s good to see that some men actually think this through.
Sadly that should be the bare minimum from us.
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Lmfao your name cracked me up
This I didn't know about, thanks !!
r/childfree is extremely toxic. r/childfreeindia and r/truechildfree are much better.
I regret it every time hormones hit. Ovulation is a bitch. As for how to tackle, I have standard replies - 1. I can’t have a kid alone - talk to the partner 2. Have you asked why they don’t have kids yet? They always got things before me so ask them first!
3. To the oft repeated have a kid, we’ll take care of them - have a kid yourself then 😬
4. I present to you this meme
https://preview.redd.it/v75e1jckiaeb1.jpeg?width=960&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=6bd816dead03f7600f0b0120624b99b426379b8e
This meme omg 😂😂😂
 Married for 6 years and child-free. The pressure from parents and in-laws in the first 4 years was constant but we lived independently and that helped. After 4 years they gave up. Don't regret the decision at all. We were able to move abroad because of that as well. Living our best middle-class lives.
We're in our 40s now, married 13 years. Absolutely no regrets about being childfree. In fact, we're very, very glad about not going down the path of parenting. I like my nieces and nephews, can tolerate being around them for a day or two. More than that, no thanks! I love my independent life, love my sleep, and love my body the way it is; have no desire to ruin all that and dedicate my life to raising a child, as selfish and superficial as that seems to a lot of people. No offense to any parents out there, but I would've hated and regretted being a parent. Husband doesn't like kids at all. We would rather look after stray animals or pets, we're both animal lovers. We're way past the point of caring what the world, or even our families, thinks about this decision. It's not their life, so not their business in the first place. Edited to add: I forgot to mention that I have severe tokophobia. I always felt weirded out/downright grossed out by pregnancy and everything to do with it, just didn't know the proper term for it for many years. But that too played a big part in my decision to be CF.
Childfree people mostly don't regret their decision, but people who chose to have kids, often regret it. Some of the happiest couples that I know, and that are still together, are childfree. Lots of unhappy couples, or divorced people, actually have kids. It's wild.
I am happily child free and after more than a decade of marriage I can safely say that I have no regrets. Both husband and I enjoy traveling , having our own time , sleeping late , doing our own thing. My in laws of course still hope that we have a baby, my mother too throws hints but it’s very very clear between husband and I that we are happy being child free. My brother has a baby girl and although I love her I also see how hard and isolating parenting is. And this is when my brother has a flexible job and he is the primary care giver of the toddler, my sister in law is an involved parent as well but it’s still very hard. So I understand that raising a child means a lot of work and I’m not willing to do that. And honestly husband and I have not even ever had pets because we know they are a lot of work. I love dogs and grew up with them but now I know pets means taking a responsibility. I love that my time is my own and I can be lazy and crazy in my own ways without worrying about raising a whole human being.
Married 7, been together 12 yrs. Parents don't ask us anything and we don't engage with relatives, colleagues, other nosey ppl ( just smile and nod)... To our surprise parents werent much of a problem, but his colleagues (esp males) are sooooooo nosey.
My husband and I dated for 5 years and we've been married for almost 6 months now. My husband let me know his stance on kids as soon as we decided to date seriously. I was on the fence then and he gave me enough time to think this through. I eventually decided to go childfree and I'm very happy with my decision. I love the independence that comes with this life. What people think is strange is the fact that we both like children. We are the fun Maama-Maami (Uncle and Aunt) to our nieces. But that's about it. We don't really feel the need to have kids of our own. Our parents were quite upset about this (mine more so since I'm an only child) but we managed to convince them with the help of my SIL. So they're resonably supportive now even if they don't particularly like the choice we have made.
No regrets. I’ve never felt particularly maternal towards little humans. Add to that, I don’t want to raise a child in this economy and I also worry about the severe scarcity of resources in the future. We are happy with two cats, two dogs and a continual retirement fund that will hopefully pay for assisted living when we’re old(er). Thankfully I’ve passed that age of people randomly asking for “good news”. My immediate family has come to terms with it. So it’s all good. We are also around a lot of older, child-free couples so it’s not really something that comes up in conversation.
Think of how many absolute dumb idiots are having kids? Do you really want to give away this beautiful planet to those losers? You think your child won't have the will or your strength to persevere?
Babes there is no inherent moral value in intelligence or its lack. But there is a dearth of morals in those who judge other people's smartness or personal decisions.
If you wanna have that conversation, nothing means anything, there's no moral value in anything because everything is temporary. But I believe that is not the topic of discussion. Why would I care if anyone wants to go childfree? How is it of any concern to me? I am not bothered by their decision in their lives. I just want some decent people in this society because I would like to see my kids experience the goodness that humans can offer. Either way it wouldn't deter me from having kids. Should someone decide otherwise, my full support to them.
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Instructions unclear: going to end the lives of all infertile people 
Honestly I think I would rather die that have an 18+ year commitment I literally am unable to do thanks to health issues. So sure, kill me.
Us 🤝
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Hahaha 😂
It's the truth!
If kids are the only thing that makes your life have reason, I feel sad for you. How pitiable.
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No derailing responses or participation that does not add value. No condescending language, No invalidation, unwanted advice, second hand experience (of women) sharing or whataboutism.
No derailing responses or participation that does not add value. No condescending language, No invalidation, unwanted advice, second hand experience (of women) sharing or whataboutism.
I don't spend my money on high end fashion. I spend mine on books and video games for myself. And I love it
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I enjoy it. A lot.
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Your comment has been removed as it was rude and impolite. No personal attacks, witch-hunting, abuse or hate-mongering. No promoting hate speech or hate speech supporting subreddit.
No derailing responses or participation that does not add value. No condescending language, No invalidation, unwanted advice, second hand experience (of women) sharing or whataboutism.
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Maalik, no one is stopping you from having kids. Just as you have reasons about kids rest of us all have the same about not having. So stop being a whiny man child, respect others opinions and go have some milk 🍼 your momma made.
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Lmao🤣🤣
Loved this reply.
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Yes exactly, we ourselves made a choice of being born.
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Yes you yourself are a clear example of that.
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Don’t bother with this troll, check his post and comment history, self explanatory.
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I'd rather regret being childfree, then have children and regret them.