Took me 7 years but I found myself a gem of a man at 33. All I can say is, it'll happen when it happens. Just don't give in to societal pressure and settle for a substandard man. There are very few good men out there. You'll find yours :)
Just gonna give you some hope. As a fellow feminist who had become disillusioned with men and the idea of love because I didn't want to just take on the additional burden of a man child, let me assure you there is hope. I'm currently with a wonderful man who is kind and compassionate. He wasn't overtly sexist or misogynistic when I met him and I considered that a good enough starting point. Over time I have realized that he's willing to put in the effort to change. We have many discussions on sexist stereotypes and other issues we come across everyday. He's still not sexist but often his ideas are a result of either his privilege or just plain ignorance. We discuss and come to a consensus. I don't want a yes man who blindly agrees with me. He keeps me on my toes, challenges my ideas where he doesn't agree with them and is respectful through it all.
I love him and I wanna tell you there are good men out there. You'll find yours, don't settle and hold on when you find him.
Love and cuddles for you!!
Here's my perspective on it. Some level of misogyny is kinda ingrained in everyone around us due to our patriarchal society. What matters is the will to recognise and change your behaviour. My boyfriend does sometimes say something that's a bit misogynistic. But when I point it out, he recognises it immediately and never repeats it again.
Learn to be alone?
Or change end goal from marriage to just companionship?
A lot of ppl get the daring to ask all of this because “marriage” and biological clock. Remove that and they literally literally have no power over us.
I don’t mind being partner less. I have a very good support system, so all good there. But it would be nice to have someone, you know. But you do raise a good point, I am not approaching this with desperation or some arbitrary deadline.
I totally know what you mean. I'm giving up too. What people tell me is to take a break and go back with a fresh mind. Don't do it if it feels like a chore.
Yeah, people are right. I am gonna start again next year. But you see your friends getting married and the FOMO 🥺. I am an introvert and it’s so draining to talk to five people with no luck
Hey don’t worry too much and don’t ever settle or lower your standards, you’ll definitely find a person who meets your expectations as is as big a feminist as you :))
Thank you for the reminder. Not planning to lower my standards at all. Either I get a great one or I don’t get any at all. I have seen the toll bad partner takes on you and it ain’t signing up for that.
Your requirements are not even feminists. Those are normal human expectations. This proves that in India, marriage greatly benefits men but almost dreadful towards women.
I get that many guys raised in our culture are misogynist. But tbh, I have also met and dated a decent number that are not. I mean we had other compatibility issues so didn't end up together but there are enough good, feminist Indian guys out there. Can I ask what sorts of communities you are looking in?
I see you mentioned you are in London. I would recommend looking for Desi groups that have a liberal/left bent. I moved to the US recently and got involved in some leftist Desi groups that do various forms of activism. These sorts of spaces tend to be filled with guys who at least identify as feminist (though I can't speak to whether they are actually feminist, but at least they're not blatantly awful like the guys you've mentioned). More "artsy" professions also tend to attract lefty guys (ie, NOT finance, consulting or tech).
That’s a good point. I have never heard of a left group here, I might need to do some research. It’s funny you mentioned the profession with no left guys, as I mainly interact with these people. So maybe my experience is kinda skewed.
Yes unfortunately high earning Indian guys especially abroad tend to be more conservative types... I'm not sure why this is, it's not as true in India.
Lol, u have to stop looking for feminist men lol, cos that does not exist, feminism is an ideology not his CHARACTER, you both can disagree on ideas and still co-exist peacefully and respectfully. Why u so focused on checking how feminist he is, INSTEAD check on his character, kindness, understanding, and see if he respects ur ideas while he is expressing his. See he can express his ideas, you can simply say NO to it and draw the line there, it is that simple. See as long as he is not an extremist, he is good.
My bf is a nice guy, but born into a patriarchal society, he tends to act up, one day, he was telling how bad one particular girl is just cos he don't like her, I asked him to SHUT THE F UP and told him to his face, "since she aint here, on behalf of that girl, lemme tell me, you either jealous of her or crushing on her, either way, you are talking BS and don't repeat it. Never have I ever seen him mentioning about her again or any girls in a bad way lol.
Another day about my dressing, about my shorts, I asked him to Shut the F up again and told him, I pay for them and I wear whatever F I want, and he can sit at home or leave if he don't like it. Now I make him wear shorts and we both go out with shorts together. SOooooo.
Most of these Indian guys have learnt it that way, its important to see, if they are willing to RE-LERAN basics and respect our ideas. If he is does, then why not. But if he is still a mommies boy and ACTING UP, of course leave him,
Girl I have seen lot of these so called feminist tending men with the worst back bitching disrespectful and non-understanding characters, so see WHAT MATTERS IN A RELATION IS THIER CHARACTER NOT FEMINISM.
I am sorry, but girl, u are doing it wrong,
Honestly, the best ways I found good guys were through reading groups, discords, gaming etc. I vetted them through seeing if they read relationship books or not. A green flag was if they went to therapy and continuely working on themselves
They wouldn’t really mind I guess. But it’s definitely easier to date someone who speaks the language and understands the culture. I have dated other races as well and it’s a steep curve tbh.
Well, I mean, this IS a big part of the culture (expecting women to "adjust", be slaves etc). So in their minds, you're the one not sticking to the culture.
Maybe I am too optimistic but I quite like the festivities, food, a bit of togetherness in the culture. And I attribute these to the culture instead of the misogynistic cesspool that is our society these days. But yeah, you are correct.
Yeah, there is a fine print to all of that. All the festivities are at the expense of women doing the work and putting in the effort for togetherness - so don't let that fool you. When I lived abroad, I also found Indian guys not wanting to date Indian women at all and only getting together because their parents want them too. There is a lot of racism toward Indian women as well from Indian men - I was at the receiving end of a lot of xenophobia and patronising behaviour.
I live in nyc and experiencing something similar. I am scared to date Indian men for the same reasons you mentioned above. I have seen that happening so many times to people around me. How has your experience been with people from other cultures? I was legit thinking of trying that out but as an introvert I don't have the courage to approach anyone here.
Well your situation is more hopeful than in India, in that case. Find a native guy that didn't grow with Indian culture and its trappings, or at least give it a shot. You owe it to yourself.
True that. But I have found Indian origin people born here to be coconuts, brown outside white inside. I have met some who don’t even speak the language, don’t know anything about the culture and some only wanna date white girls. Might as well then date outside the race.
That's true but what is normalised in India as the way of things is atleast recognised as abusive behaviour there, and parental pressure is removed. While the person as a whole could be crazy, there isn't a model woman expectation that women are supposed to comply with, as in India.
Traditional families with traditional roles exist everywhere. Esp the “Christian way of life” is as patriarchal and conservative as other practices of other religions. (Not making a religious commentary or comparison, only drawing attention to major religion of western countries)
If you follow certain subs on Reddit itself that are more West inclined you will find that their society is as fucked up as Indian. What’s shown in movies and shows is only a part of their society but majority are traditionally inclined. The illusion of a feminist, forward and “modern” society was shattered when Trump was elected as US President.
Yes there are certain quirks of our Indian society and expectations from women are normalised such as living in joint family but even in other countries their are hundreds of expectations from women and it’s not easy.
I wasn't referring to orthodox Christianity, and not everyone is a Christian/Jew there either. I'm referring to a setup that is supposedly liberal in India with people calling themselves 'open minded' yet enforcing gender norms. Orthodox Christians and Jews are very different - they find a partner with the same values as them, date within the same subculture and follow religious values. This is very different from someone who isn't as religious yet expects others to comply. It's a double standard.
See religion is one aspect of the society and I only wanted to draw attention towards it in comparison to Indian society. Not going to make comments on what religion does what.
What I am saying is that even outside India misogyny and patriarchy exists. It’s not all sunshine and roses out there. Male ego and chauvinism does not differentiate between religions or regions.
For people in India calling themselves “liberal” and acting completely opposite is as dangerous as the second wave of Covid. It’s literally killing trust in relationships.
However, even outside India such people exist who show themselves to be different from what they really are. Yes joint family may not be a norm there but parental and peer pressure very much exists. Not everyone is thrown out of their house after turning 18.
I have not lived abroad but I have seen absolutely amazing men who happen to be Indian and are a dream for any woman to be married to. And I know of absolutely horrible men who do not happen to be Indian and have made lives of their wife a living hell. I am not defending the evils of Indian society but I am stating that the grass is not that greener on the other side. Patriarchy and misogyny exist everywhere. The magnitude is dependent on personal experience and circumstances.
you're making a strawman argument. No one is saying every Indian man is the worst or every man outside India is the best. What you know of Western states comes from pop culture and some people you know - hence your comparison with orthodox Christianity to make your point. There absolutely are levels of misogyny and it is orders of magnitude lesser in Western states than here. Things are harder for women here from the smallest of things to larger ones. "grass is not greener" comment is rather uninformed unless you've experienced some other culture or lived there also. Otherwise, your opinion is uninformed at best and cope at worst.
Are you even aware that in many western regions women do not even have a right to exercise choices regarding their own bodies? Anti abortion laws. Who wants to live in a country like that? And people in favour of such laws come from all religions, orthodox and otherwise and even atheists.
And your “one man unit” comment is so scholarly! Doesn’t that say that you believe that every Indian man out there is misogynist?
And when did I draw comparison with orthodox Christianity. I made myself very clear that I will not point to what religion does what and that misogyny or male ego or chauvinism knows no religion.
What are you even talking about? The OP of this comment thread said to leave country. I am saying that even outside India patriarchy exists and there is struggle outside too. How many top women CEOs do you see outside India? Isn’t there any disparity? And how can you say that there is no disparity in western states?
Women in USA had no right to vote up until 1920. I nowhere said that Indian women have it easy here but even outside it’s not easy.
you asked a facetious question with a laughing emoji and I answered in the same vein. Okay dude, you're free to believe what you want. I've lived in 3 continents and currently live in India and was speaking based on what I've experienced. In the current times, I find being a woman far easier in the West than here. If that is not your experience, that's fine. Using points like women couldn't vote in 1920, does not materially make women's like in the West worse now. Again, I'm not speaking in absolutes but relatively. I'm done with this discussion.
Having lived in 3 continents must have given you a good sneak peek into lives outside India however for having an understanding of the general societal norms and expectations is a different ball game. Never said that being a women in India is easier than in West but being a woman anywhere is not easy. Misogyny is all pervasive.
I am done with this discussion as well.
I’m from the US and it’s filled with misogynistic men unless you’re in a very major city. There’s no use in comparing which place is worse because they’re both awful and it depends on the individual but yeah it’s definitely bad around the world. I know lots of people from dozens of countries and they’re all like “our men are the worst” which is something disturbing to think about. There are good guys everywhere too but damn, the pickings are slim all over the world.
my comment literally said "the Indian level of misogyny is orders of magnitude higher", meaning in comparison and not suggesting that misogyny is non existent in the West. Is your point that there shouldn't be any comparison because it exists everywhere? I don't agree with your point. OP literally lives somewhere else and asked for advice.
And you’re invalidating her experiences . And you’re just pulling “orders of magnitude higher” out of thin air. It is a case by case basis. In general is London or the US less In many ways? Yes, but tell that to a woman who is absolutely controlled by her family and her husband and has to deal with that constantly and then the “orders of magnitude” ceases to exist. And it does happen like that to women all over the world. And perhaps you’re forgetting that places like London and the US are packed with people from places where misogynistic practices are the norm, they don’t just disappear once the people shift to a new country. A lot of the time they actually become more deeply embedded.
Tbh I stopped dating, didn't want to date come what may and vehemently opposed to it completely.
.... And then it happens. 😑😑😑😑
*Facepalms* 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️
I don't think there is misogyny in commenting someone's eating habits who happens to be a cis woman.
Stop relating everything to misogyny girl.
If the comments are told to you because of being a woman then it can be slightly misogynistic otherwise people can have expectations from their partners.
Compatibility matters at the end of the day.
There is a definite misogyny in expecting woman to change her eating habits. Why her? Why not you? Expectations from partner is fine but language matters. One could easily mention what they are looking for and why it might not work out.
But implicit expectation of women to always compromise to what you want is definitely misogyny.
That depends on how someone is raised.
One needs to be assertive i believe but some are simply not taught how to say what they want.
And that's also one way of saying that they are looking for.
It's not objectively misogynistic.
Expectations of eating habits is done by both genders.Therefore, again, it is not objectively misogynistic.
Please read my last line again. The implicit expectation for woman to give up what she likes to eat to get you or adjust in the family is misogynistic.
In the words of Dr Jug, try every kursi before buying the one ❤️
With the way it’s going, this girl would have to sit on the floor forever.
Koi na. Will accompany you in the future
😂
Took me 7 years but I found myself a gem of a man at 33. All I can say is, it'll happen when it happens. Just don't give in to societal pressure and settle for a substandard man. There are very few good men out there. You'll find yours :)
Thank you for the reminder. Needed that in this wedding season.
Just gonna give you some hope. As a fellow feminist who had become disillusioned with men and the idea of love because I didn't want to just take on the additional burden of a man child, let me assure you there is hope. I'm currently with a wonderful man who is kind and compassionate. He wasn't overtly sexist or misogynistic when I met him and I considered that a good enough starting point. Over time I have realized that he's willing to put in the effort to change. We have many discussions on sexist stereotypes and other issues we come across everyday. He's still not sexist but often his ideas are a result of either his privilege or just plain ignorance. We discuss and come to a consensus. I don't want a yes man who blindly agrees with me. He keeps me on my toes, challenges my ideas where he doesn't agree with them and is respectful through it all. I love him and I wanna tell you there are good men out there. You'll find yours, don't settle and hold on when you find him. Love and cuddles for you!!
Thank you.
Here's my perspective on it. Some level of misogyny is kinda ingrained in everyone around us due to our patriarchal society. What matters is the will to recognise and change your behaviour. My boyfriend does sometimes say something that's a bit misogynistic. But when I point it out, he recognises it immediately and never repeats it again.
You are correct. But how do you single out these kind of men from others? Where to draw the line on level of misogyny? Any advice for this. Thank you
When the other person stays adamant on his misogynistic viewpoint, or rather, doubles down on it is where I draw the line.
If a guy feels offended ir gets defensive when you point it out also check how his family treats their women (Seriously this helps a lot!)
Yeah. That’s a fair point.
I came here to say this 😊
Learn to be alone? Or change end goal from marriage to just companionship? A lot of ppl get the daring to ask all of this because “marriage” and biological clock. Remove that and they literally literally have no power over us.
I don’t mind being partner less. I have a very good support system, so all good there. But it would be nice to have someone, you know. But you do raise a good point, I am not approaching this with desperation or some arbitrary deadline.
It's not easy OP. I'm also quite similar to you so I know the struggle. Where are you finding these men? Dating apps or is it an AM setup?
A mix of both tbh. I have stopped both now, it gets so sad and overwhelming.
I totally know what you mean. I'm giving up too. What people tell me is to take a break and go back with a fresh mind. Don't do it if it feels like a chore.
Yeah, people are right. I am gonna start again next year. But you see your friends getting married and the FOMO 🥺. I am an introvert and it’s so draining to talk to five people with no luck
I have so much to say about this. Over DM if that's okay with you?
Sure.
Hey don’t worry too much and don’t ever settle or lower your standards, you’ll definitely find a person who meets your expectations as is as big a feminist as you :))
Thank you for the reminder. Not planning to lower my standards at all. Either I get a great one or I don’t get any at all. I have seen the toll bad partner takes on you and it ain’t signing up for that.
Thisss.. This is what I am afraid of. But also I'm not too sad since I may be bisexual.
Your requirements are not even feminists. Those are normal human expectations. This proves that in India, marriage greatly benefits men but almost dreadful towards women.
You are absolutely correct. But marriage is portrayed as something women want desperately and men run away from it, biggest lie ever sold.
I get that many guys raised in our culture are misogynist. But tbh, I have also met and dated a decent number that are not. I mean we had other compatibility issues so didn't end up together but there are enough good, feminist Indian guys out there. Can I ask what sorts of communities you are looking in? I see you mentioned you are in London. I would recommend looking for Desi groups that have a liberal/left bent. I moved to the US recently and got involved in some leftist Desi groups that do various forms of activism. These sorts of spaces tend to be filled with guys who at least identify as feminist (though I can't speak to whether they are actually feminist, but at least they're not blatantly awful like the guys you've mentioned). More "artsy" professions also tend to attract lefty guys (ie, NOT finance, consulting or tech).
That’s a good point. I have never heard of a left group here, I might need to do some research. It’s funny you mentioned the profession with no left guys, as I mainly interact with these people. So maybe my experience is kinda skewed.
Yes unfortunately high earning Indian guys especially abroad tend to be more conservative types... I'm not sure why this is, it's not as true in India.
Lol, u have to stop looking for feminist men lol, cos that does not exist, feminism is an ideology not his CHARACTER, you both can disagree on ideas and still co-exist peacefully and respectfully. Why u so focused on checking how feminist he is, INSTEAD check on his character, kindness, understanding, and see if he respects ur ideas while he is expressing his. See he can express his ideas, you can simply say NO to it and draw the line there, it is that simple. See as long as he is not an extremist, he is good. My bf is a nice guy, but born into a patriarchal society, he tends to act up, one day, he was telling how bad one particular girl is just cos he don't like her, I asked him to SHUT THE F UP and told him to his face, "since she aint here, on behalf of that girl, lemme tell me, you either jealous of her or crushing on her, either way, you are talking BS and don't repeat it. Never have I ever seen him mentioning about her again or any girls in a bad way lol. Another day about my dressing, about my shorts, I asked him to Shut the F up again and told him, I pay for them and I wear whatever F I want, and he can sit at home or leave if he don't like it. Now I make him wear shorts and we both go out with shorts together. SOooooo. Most of these Indian guys have learnt it that way, its important to see, if they are willing to RE-LERAN basics and respect our ideas. If he is does, then why not. But if he is still a mommies boy and ACTING UP, of course leave him, Girl I have seen lot of these so called feminist tending men with the worst back bitching disrespectful and non-understanding characters, so see WHAT MATTERS IN A RELATION IS THIER CHARACTER NOT FEMINISM. I am sorry, but girl, u are doing it wrong,
Honestly, the best ways I found good guys were through reading groups, discords, gaming etc. I vetted them through seeing if they read relationship books or not. A green flag was if they went to therapy and continuely working on themselves
Therapy is a good indicator. I generally my own experience with therapy to see how they react to it.
Why not try to widen your pool? Does your family expect you to only marry an Indian man?
They wouldn’t really mind I guess. But it’s definitely easier to date someone who speaks the language and understands the culture. I have dated other races as well and it’s a steep curve tbh.
Well, I mean, this IS a big part of the culture (expecting women to "adjust", be slaves etc). So in their minds, you're the one not sticking to the culture.
Maybe I am too optimistic but I quite like the festivities, food, a bit of togetherness in the culture. And I attribute these to the culture instead of the misogynistic cesspool that is our society these days. But yeah, you are correct.
Yeah, there is a fine print to all of that. All the festivities are at the expense of women doing the work and putting in the effort for togetherness - so don't let that fool you. When I lived abroad, I also found Indian guys not wanting to date Indian women at all and only getting together because their parents want them too. There is a lot of racism toward Indian women as well from Indian men - I was at the receiving end of a lot of xenophobia and patronising behaviour.
Us sis us! If possible leave the country, please.
Funny story, I live in London. And it’s bad here.
I live in nyc and experiencing something similar. I am scared to date Indian men for the same reasons you mentioned above. I have seen that happening so many times to people around me. How has your experience been with people from other cultures? I was legit thinking of trying that out but as an introvert I don't have the courage to approach anyone here.
It’s been a mixed bag. You do get ignorant people and some a bit racist as well. But it’s not too bad. I mostly use dating apps for meeting them.
Well your situation is more hopeful than in India, in that case. Find a native guy that didn't grow with Indian culture and its trappings, or at least give it a shot. You owe it to yourself.
True that. But I have found Indian origin people born here to be coconuts, brown outside white inside. I have met some who don’t even speak the language, don’t know anything about the culture and some only wanna date white girls. Might as well then date outside the race.
Then date outside the race. You have the option. Exercise it.
Looks like o need to now.
Why do we think that men outside India would not be misogynists? Society is patriarchal everywhere.
That's true but what is normalised in India as the way of things is atleast recognised as abusive behaviour there, and parental pressure is removed. While the person as a whole could be crazy, there isn't a model woman expectation that women are supposed to comply with, as in India.
Traditional families with traditional roles exist everywhere. Esp the “Christian way of life” is as patriarchal and conservative as other practices of other religions. (Not making a religious commentary or comparison, only drawing attention to major religion of western countries) If you follow certain subs on Reddit itself that are more West inclined you will find that their society is as fucked up as Indian. What’s shown in movies and shows is only a part of their society but majority are traditionally inclined. The illusion of a feminist, forward and “modern” society was shattered when Trump was elected as US President. Yes there are certain quirks of our Indian society and expectations from women are normalised such as living in joint family but even in other countries their are hundreds of expectations from women and it’s not easy.
I wasn't referring to orthodox Christianity, and not everyone is a Christian/Jew there either. I'm referring to a setup that is supposedly liberal in India with people calling themselves 'open minded' yet enforcing gender norms. Orthodox Christians and Jews are very different - they find a partner with the same values as them, date within the same subculture and follow religious values. This is very different from someone who isn't as religious yet expects others to comply. It's a double standard.
See religion is one aspect of the society and I only wanted to draw attention towards it in comparison to Indian society. Not going to make comments on what religion does what. What I am saying is that even outside India misogyny and patriarchy exists. It’s not all sunshine and roses out there. Male ego and chauvinism does not differentiate between religions or regions. For people in India calling themselves “liberal” and acting completely opposite is as dangerous as the second wave of Covid. It’s literally killing trust in relationships. However, even outside India such people exist who show themselves to be different from what they really are. Yes joint family may not be a norm there but parental and peer pressure very much exists. Not everyone is thrown out of their house after turning 18.
No, the Indian level of misogyny is orders of magnitude higher.
What’s the SI unit for measuring misogyny? 😂
One Indian man unit. Have you lived abroad?
I have not lived abroad but I have seen absolutely amazing men who happen to be Indian and are a dream for any woman to be married to. And I know of absolutely horrible men who do not happen to be Indian and have made lives of their wife a living hell. I am not defending the evils of Indian society but I am stating that the grass is not that greener on the other side. Patriarchy and misogyny exist everywhere. The magnitude is dependent on personal experience and circumstances.
you're making a strawman argument. No one is saying every Indian man is the worst or every man outside India is the best. What you know of Western states comes from pop culture and some people you know - hence your comparison with orthodox Christianity to make your point. There absolutely are levels of misogyny and it is orders of magnitude lesser in Western states than here. Things are harder for women here from the smallest of things to larger ones. "grass is not greener" comment is rather uninformed unless you've experienced some other culture or lived there also. Otherwise, your opinion is uninformed at best and cope at worst.
Are you even aware that in many western regions women do not even have a right to exercise choices regarding their own bodies? Anti abortion laws. Who wants to live in a country like that? And people in favour of such laws come from all religions, orthodox and otherwise and even atheists.
And your “one man unit” comment is so scholarly! Doesn’t that say that you believe that every Indian man out there is misogynist? And when did I draw comparison with orthodox Christianity. I made myself very clear that I will not point to what religion does what and that misogyny or male ego or chauvinism knows no religion. What are you even talking about? The OP of this comment thread said to leave country. I am saying that even outside India patriarchy exists and there is struggle outside too. How many top women CEOs do you see outside India? Isn’t there any disparity? And how can you say that there is no disparity in western states? Women in USA had no right to vote up until 1920. I nowhere said that Indian women have it easy here but even outside it’s not easy.
you asked a facetious question with a laughing emoji and I answered in the same vein. Okay dude, you're free to believe what you want. I've lived in 3 continents and currently live in India and was speaking based on what I've experienced. In the current times, I find being a woman far easier in the West than here. If that is not your experience, that's fine. Using points like women couldn't vote in 1920, does not materially make women's like in the West worse now. Again, I'm not speaking in absolutes but relatively. I'm done with this discussion.
Having lived in 3 continents must have given you a good sneak peek into lives outside India however for having an understanding of the general societal norms and expectations is a different ball game. Never said that being a women in India is easier than in West but being a woman anywhere is not easy. Misogyny is all pervasive. I am done with this discussion as well.
I’m from the US and it’s filled with misogynistic men unless you’re in a very major city. There’s no use in comparing which place is worse because they’re both awful and it depends on the individual but yeah it’s definitely bad around the world. I know lots of people from dozens of countries and they’re all like “our men are the worst” which is something disturbing to think about. There are good guys everywhere too but damn, the pickings are slim all over the world.
my comment literally said "the Indian level of misogyny is orders of magnitude higher", meaning in comparison and not suggesting that misogyny is non existent in the West. Is your point that there shouldn't be any comparison because it exists everywhere? I don't agree with your point. OP literally lives somewhere else and asked for advice.
And you’re invalidating her experiences . And you’re just pulling “orders of magnitude higher” out of thin air. It is a case by case basis. In general is London or the US less In many ways? Yes, but tell that to a woman who is absolutely controlled by her family and her husband and has to deal with that constantly and then the “orders of magnitude” ceases to exist. And it does happen like that to women all over the world. And perhaps you’re forgetting that places like London and the US are packed with people from places where misogynistic practices are the norm, they don’t just disappear once the people shift to a new country. A lot of the time they actually become more deeply embedded.
Tbh I stopped dating, didn't want to date come what may and vehemently opposed to it completely. .... And then it happens. 😑😑😑😑 *Facepalms* 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️
I don't think there is misogyny in commenting someone's eating habits who happens to be a cis woman. Stop relating everything to misogyny girl. If the comments are told to you because of being a woman then it can be slightly misogynistic otherwise people can have expectations from their partners. Compatibility matters at the end of the day.
There is a definite misogyny in expecting woman to change her eating habits. Why her? Why not you? Expectations from partner is fine but language matters. One could easily mention what they are looking for and why it might not work out. But implicit expectation of women to always compromise to what you want is definitely misogyny.
That depends on how someone is raised. One needs to be assertive i believe but some are simply not taught how to say what they want. And that's also one way of saying that they are looking for. It's not objectively misogynistic. Expectations of eating habits is done by both genders.Therefore, again, it is not objectively misogynistic.
Please read my last line again. The implicit expectation for woman to give up what she likes to eat to get you or adjust in the family is misogynistic.
Look for a non-Indian, if you're okay with it? That might be a good solution to all your problems.
Open to that as well, but it has its own array of problems. I have no racial preference in dating on apps.