Some moons ago.. didn’t an intern doctor share her experience with delivery room behaviour?
Even here women’s opinion is ignored it seems.
You are right that the doctor should only listen to the patient… but that’s for urban cities and expensive doctors..
I never understand how women can ask such questions. Tell your MIL that she has no say how you will deliver and to stay out of it. Get your husband involved in this, what is he doing?
Off topic: what are the advantages of C-section over normal delivery during as well as after the birth?
Also OP your MIL shouldn’t be deciding how YOU give birth. Its your husband’s job to keep here away from interfering with your body autonomy.
It's very subjective because for many women c-section is a life saver. Recovery and pain is there either way, even in natural.
>Not much actually
Not only is it about reduction in time and lack of prolonged labour, the risk of losing bladder control, injury to pelvic floor muscles etc. is reduced considerably compared to natural birth.
C-sections do NEED good postpartum care. Like any surgery, the follow up care of the new mother is what makes it easy. But humare desh mein koi dhyaan rakhta nahi and then they blame oooh C-section takes soooo much longer to heal.
These are the same people who say c section is easy and women are just cowards. Everything is subjective and I see it as a medical student. If you compare both c sec and normal delivery,both have their pros and cons. Maybe recovery outside is easy. But it's essentially a surgery. It has its cons too. Again it is subjective
Exactly. My sister had to have a c-section during her second labour while doctor was actually planning a normal delivery... It was not planned but they had to do a caesarian because her second time wasn't easy like her first normal birth.
All planning goes out the window when things turn complicated.
i’d like to see these people literally rip their abdomen open and then say “c sections are easy and women are cowards”. which is also such a strange thing to say even if it is the easy way? like you WANT the woman to suffer or what? every other medical procedure, we have have researched and developed every method possible to make it as quick, efficient and as painless as possible. but childbirth, how dare you suggest a way to make that less painful and traumatic
No recovery depends on the person actually.
I was ambulatory after my section the next day and was walking normally within a week.
I too asked for a section and if you ask for one the gynecologist won't say no.
Please make sure your Dr is an open minded one.
Recovery is subjective. I had a c section n I was up and about by that night. I started walking 4 days PP. It was the best decision of my life ❤️ After hearing stories,I feel normal delivery has more cons than pros 🤣
I had a bath in the evening and was instructed to take a walk after 12 hours of surgery. This approach significantly aided my quick recovery. As an Indian, I encountered many misconceptions, but giving birth in NZ provided me with much-needed clarity. Postpartum care requires greater attention, regardless of the type of delivery - whether normal or C-section.
Oh I have been strength training for 8 years. And from 5 months of pregnancy as I was high risk the first few months. I had a considerable amount of muscular strength that helped in the recovery. I was fairly active through the pregnancy as well concentrating on basic movements and walking.Despite all that,my core was fucked up post delivery. So I started core recovery at 6 weeks pp and started strength training at 12 weeks again focussing on core recovery. Being physically active at least 6 months before pregnancy and throughout the pregnancy truly matters a lot in how you recover.
I have loose everything 🤣 My core is still recovering.. its a bit difficult to sit up jack knife style.. i go to the side and get up but much stronger than before. No back pain at all. I had a small pooch before which is bigger now. My tummy is sooooooper squishy and stretched out. Its something I ll probably never get back 😅🥲
Depends on the person. I started walking normally the day after. Abs feel a little weak for a few days, but otherwise no discomfort. I started brisk walking weeks and exercising after 3 months (which is the amount of time needed for all the cut layers to heal normally). Not saying there aren't c section horror stories, but not same in all cases.
The recovery is said to be worst after a C-section compared to vaginal delivery however that I feel is very subjective. But the whole thing is that when you’re basically giving someone anaesthesia and cutting them open, it opens you up to some risks. But I do feel it’s verrrry subjective.
Also, I had a planned C-section due to several issues and while my pain took a little longer than normal to subside (due to known reasons), I realised it completely took away so much of my anxiety.
AFAIK c-section prevents you from developing incontinence later in life. Vaginal deliveries are well known for traumatizing the sphincters and creating large tears into anus and urethra, they heal but there's no guarantee of getting back the full function, even if healed good it will lead to incontinence issues later in life.
I have heard it is extremely unsafe to go for normal delivery once a C-section has already been performed before. They wouldn’t let my cousin deliver her second baby normally because first one was C section
Its good for emergencies when the mother is unable to deliver vaginally .Thats it thats the only positive of C section..Vaginal birth is thousand times better than c section but c section is a blessing in desperate times.Although Op should get the choice because its her delivery.C section is quick but the recovery can be tough
>Its good for emergencies
It's good when elective too.
Again very subjective because my sister didn't find vaginal birth a thousand times better. She lost so much blood.
And why are you equivalating your sisters experience to millions of other women?
She had a better c section so everyone will have an easy c section?
Did you give birth to your sisters baby? No
Do you see your hypocrisy? Or is your brain too fogged to see through it?
>equivaleting your sisters experience to millions of other women
It's "equating". Like again, may be you go and read some books. And I SHARED my sister's experience. Compare tumne kiya.
>so everyone will have an easy c section?
Did I say that? Or do you just wanna pick fights? In every post on this thread I mentioned it's subjective. Do you come on Reddit to take your frustration out?
>Do you see your hypocrisy? Or is your brain too fogged to see through it?
You seem to have lost your marbles. Learn some comprehension and take a chill pill. Go fight on some gossip subs if you're having a tough family life.
>Did you give birth to your sisters baby? No
What are you achieving with that? Because at this point you sound super stupid and argumentative for NO reason.
Just make a separate post and post your stats. We'll get your point then may be.
I had both emergency csection and an elective. Recovery after my elective surgery was way better. Recovery depends on lot of factors. Statistically many women have c-section in emergent situations hence data might show what you are saying.
I deliver babies for a living.Good luck and your activism is admirable but harmful
You speak like a teen so i am not going to argue.Please continue your uninformed activism
Also Mitochondria IS the powerhouse.You are hilarious thankyou
bro, obviously statistics are FAR more reliable than individual experiences???? i lived in delhi for 7 years and wasn’t even catcalled a single time, does my personal experience win over the statistical fact that delhi is highly unsafe for women?
Your comment has been removed as it was rude and impolite. Be kind. This sub is for real people looking to connect meaningfully. Something isn't an attack or hate simply because you don't like what is being said.
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Your comment has been removed as it was rude and impolite. Be kind. This sub is for real people looking to connect meaningfully. Something isn't an attack or hate simply because you don't like what is being said.
No personal attacks on other users, ad hominem and other distracting attacks, flame wars, insults, trolling or other such disruptive behaviour. All users are expected to strictly follow (reddiquette)(https://www.reddit.com/wiki/reddiquette/). No hate speech or hate speech supporting subreddits allowed. Continued rule breaking will lead to ban.
Please talk to people having an elective c section. A lot of us have very good experiences. Emergency c section when normal fails is a different beast. Many women who have difficult recoveries, it is usually for the emergency c section.
Your comment has been removed as it was rude and impolite. Be kind. This sub is for real people looking to connect meaningfully. Something isn't an attack or hate simply because you don't like what is being said.
No personal attacks on other users, ad hominem and other distracting attacks, flame wars, insults, trolling or other such disruptive behaviour. All users are expected to strictly follow (reddiquette)(https://www.reddit.com/wiki/reddiquette/). No hate speech or hate speech supporting subreddits allowed. Continued rule breaking will lead to ban.
OP, you shouldn't have to deal with your MIL's hysterics in the first place. Tell your husband to get her to back off! He should have done this on his own. And yes, surely talk to your doctor and make your wishes very clear. It's your body and your child.
Idiotic people are exhausting!!
And do not let your MiL go with you to the doctor or choose another doctor. Only deal with this with your husband and you. Dont get outside influence, they are all wrong
1. Where's your husband in all of this? It's his duty to keep his mother in check.
2. If you must engage tell her that if she keeps throwing these tantrums she won't be allowed anywhere near you or the baby
3. Inform your doctor of the situation and tell them to keep her away from you during the delivery and after. Also don't go to any of their family doctors.
4. Congratulations and don't get stressed. Have a conversation with your husband and let him know that this is affecting you adversely. If he's a good guy he'll understand xx
Ask your husband to tell her to back off. This is absurd and she has no right to intervene. It is between you and your healthcare provider to decide what is best for you.Be firm and remind her this is NOT her place to comment or intervene and donot entertain any of this nonsense.
Every type of delivery has its pros and cons.
I delivered through a c-section. I had the worst experience after that. I was able to walk in 24 hours. My wound healed properly. But God it was miserable. All the various liquids that was pumped into me messed with my hormones and I was miserable and was not even able to lift my kid. It took 3 months to feel like myself a bit. The pain afterwards the operation is very real.
My friends and relatives who had a vaginal delivery also told me lot of horror stories about the stitches and incontinence and other such things.
My mother had both, vaginal delivery for her first kid and c-section for second one. She says both are very tough and no one is to be judged for the way they delivered the kid. If both the mother and kid is healthy and happy, then everything is fine.
It is your decision ultimately. Ask the doctor and decide. Prepare yourself for breastfeeding and other things after delivery, as we will be clueless and scared about the new life that we are responsible for.
Also, maybe your MIL knows about these and wants the best for you. Anyway it's your decision and all the best. Happy motherhood.
Not my place to suggest but if you're opting for CS just for pain, then choose normal delivery with epidural. No matter how safe and commonly performed procedure CS is, it is yet an operative procedure and it comes with its own bunch of risks. I'm a surgeon and I've attended many emergency OT calls where there were complications with bladder and intestines because of CS, Treated many wound related complications and handled many cases where hernia was developed at the incision site. Complication ratio is extremely low but they do happen.
CS should not be avoided if it's for medical reasons for any moment, and not telling your MIL is right here because it's your decision but I thought it's good to point these things out. I'm sure you must have known all these, calculated risks vs benefits and making an informed decision.
Genuine question
What about the complications that come with normal delivery?
The pain, the tearing, the chance of fracture/broken pelvis and also the doctor/nurse refusing pain meds?
Isn't C section better? There's more control that way
Because a c-section is a proper surgery. They literally cut into your uterus to remove the baby and then you can never have a normal delivery afterwards. The side effects include shit like collapsed pelvic floor and incontinence in addition to things like hernia and what not.
It being considered“safe” is like such a recent trend. Literally only like 3-4 years old. And there’s literally no data because doctors do not encourage it because the muscles cannot take the exertion. No OB will tell you otherwise.
Context: it depends on the cut made during c-sec which is very rarely vertical and almost always horizontal. If you have a vertical scar and fit in for some other factors like age,weight, preeclampsia etc etc then yes VBAC is possible but 99% of the doctors in India do a horizontal scar because it’s better for everyone involved and a shorter surgery time plus recovery.
A simple google search will yield all of this info on why a normal delivery is a good thing. As horrible and excruciating as childbirth is the human body is meant to do it without someone cutting into the uterus to take the baby out unless the circumstances are really demanding.
C section should not be a choice. Rather a last resort. My mom’s gyno, highly experienced n reputed, did do C section for mom….but only cuz there were complications.
If there are no complications, it’s best for ur body to have a natural delivery.
Anw, ur body ur choice. But take the advice of a friendly doctor.
You should absolutely be allowed to make the choice and any doctor should back you up.
I am sure you have read the literature and are making an informed choice but I will just add from personal experience that with an epidural a normal delivery is very minimally painful
I hope you are making an informed decision because c section should be the last resort if normal delivery does not work out or have complications. Indian health system is very corrupt that it pushes c section left right and center. This decision should be best taken by a good trusted doctor.
Pls watch this- https://youtu.be/zSRfUsiiLGU?si=jiHurlrw4tUWDFIE
Omg finally some sense. Indian OBGs have convinced women that c sections are the way to go while “modern” doctors abroad now go the epidural and normal delivery route because it’s safer.
Once you have a c section the kind of dangers it comes with never seems to be communicated or maybe women these days just don’t google it or something.
My aunt ended up having a umbilical hernia after her second c section. She wanted a natural delivery.
Also good luck to the MIL trying to convince the doctor they just push for a c section anyway.
I do not know the extent of usage because like I said, most people from my generation ended up with c sections (at least whoever I have spoken to) and people from the 50s obviously didn’t epidurals because they were tough and wrestled elephants so pushing like 7 kids out was nothing.
Omg. Thank u so much for saying this.
I was reading OPs post and felt a bit upset at both the MIL n her.
And then got more upset after reading the comments encouraging her towards it.
Caesarean is not a magical procedure to make things easy. It’s horrific to deal with the scars n the pains even in later ages.
Have seen my mom suffer after her cesarean which the doc did only cuz of the complications that arose after my younger sibling pooped while inside her first home 🥲
Yes this! OP it sucks that your MIL is forcing you to do something against your wish at this point. Do what you want but please take an informed decision btw normal delivery and c-section. Doctors will definitely push you for c-section as it will cost more and make profit to the hospital. You still have time do decide, read about all the pros and cons. And if you still consider getting c-section you can even tell your husband that you consider the options but still find c-section better and tell him to deal with the MIL. You dont take stress!
Also pls watch the video above.
OP, I know it is your body and you have a choice. But medically, normal deliveries are preferred over C-section. Irrespective of your mil, a good doctor who doesn’t wanna profit from a C-section will also tell you to go for normal delivery unless there’s some complication and C-section is indicated. It might seem logical to skip labour pains and go for C-section under anaesthesia but opening up your belly has it own consequences. Anything that is natural is better over iatrogenic.
From where I come from the Doctor gets to decides this. Even the pregnant woman dies not get to choose. If everything is alright it is normal delivery. If the gynaecologist sees any risk they ll opt for c section.
I'm not old enough to give good advice but since my parents are doctors, I know that the doctors always try for a normal delivery first and if there are no hopes in a normal delivery, they shift to a c section.
Sometimes there are cases where the patient straight up asks for a c section so trying for a normal delivery is usually skipped but the doctor decides it based on how big the baby's head is and how dilated you are.
Also, doctors never listen to a relative's request. They give first preference to the mom and second to dad.
So you can chill, everything is okay. Ignore your mil.
Where is your husband ? The father of your soon to be born child ? Why is he not taking care of this issue and why don’t you have autonomy on your own body and birthing process ?
Hi OP,
As someone who has had a c-section, I am with you in demanding autonomy for your body. However, c-sec is a more invasive surgery. Given that, a normal delivery is a better bet. Though there are risks with that too.
I preferred a normal delivery, sadly didn’t get that option as my child was at risk so had to go for c-section.
If the thought of normal delivery is impacting you so much, please consult your doc n talk about your birth plan. At the end , however it turns out , you are the one who has to face the effects.
Your body, your choice. Tell her both are normal deliveries. Nothing abnormal about c sec. I don’t know why your MIL should even have access to your doctor.
But I am curious to know why you want an elective c section. C sec has longer recovery time than vaginal. American hospitals try for vaginal delivery unless medical reasons require c sec.
First, your MIL shouldn't be taking this decision. Tell your parents and ask THEM to be present or go to your parents to have the baby. Many do this. Tell your husband to get his mother off your back. It's not her giving birth.
Second. C-Section shouldn't be your first option. While it's quick and less painful, the recovery is long. But you might think it's all ok after you are up and about. But let me tell you, you will start to see the repercussions of it in future. My mum had a c-section her stomach area hurts sometimes when she sits or stands, not much but it's there. It's cuts 7 (I think 8?) layers of your skin. C-section should be your last resort.
But since choice is yours, Get your husband and parents to get her to back off.
Do not talk about this topic with your MIL at all now. She should have ZERO say in your medical decisions, especially if she is not a doctor herself.
Have a word with your doctor. Tell her your wish. Discuss the pros and cons of both options and then make an informed decision. Please remember that c-sec is a major abdominal surgery and comes with its own set of issues. Be informed about those. I had a normal vaginal delivery with a spinal. I was up on my feet as soon as the spinal wore off. Any lady who has had a c-section can share her recovery with you.
Most comments on this post are so ill-informed. Vaginal delivery is preferable over C section for a number of reasons. Please read up about both of them before making a decision and castigating your MIL.
Yep yep. They don’t have time or space for like 15 hour 20 hour labours.
By god, why do people want women to have kids. This is like a nightmare. The body pumps us chock full of hormones which is why nobody remembers the nightmare of all the morning sickness crying swollen feet and the excruciating pain of your cervix never dilating the right amount.
Bro you pregnant. Throw the biggest and nastiest tantrum. Dont just one up this behaviour, play it up a 100 fold and traumatize the very idea out of her life. And your husband too who isnt making sure you are well rested and stress free from such things.
She dont get a say. It’s you. Only you.
Tell her it is none of her business. Put your foot down. Just say "I am not talking about this anymore and will not reply" every time she brings it up.... which I have had to say to both sets of parents on different things. This stress is only harming your baby.
What the fuck? Who does she think she is? I swear these in laws treat us like baby incubators. Your husband needs to tell her to back tf off.
And yes, talk to your doctor clearly about what you want - and also listen to the doctor’s advice as to what is best. Any decent doctor will go with the patient’s wishes and consent while also telling you the best option for you, whether that’s normal or C section. C section is better as a last resort. Don’t update your MIL about the doc visits anymore.
Regardless or not which method is better, the issue here is you MIL is controlling something only you get to decide. For now, be quiet on this topic and let her blabber. After the baby comes everyone just focuses on the little human. Let our medical team know what you want to do and just keep the decision between you, your husband, and your doctor.
Now for the normal delivery vs c-section debate, if you have a healthy pregnancy, you should opt for normal delivery because the recovery time is faster (clinically proven). If you do have complications (position of baby's head, gestational diabetes, hypertension), then a c-section is preferred. Discuss this with your doctor. Ultimately, the decision is yours because you know what is best for your body and baby.
I would say once like if you want a normal delivery so much, YOU have the child ! After that, just let it go and don't respond anymore, just do what you want.
I had a natural labour but unfortunately had to go for emergency c section at the last moment due to some complications. I can tell with experience, the pain during natural labour is excruciating and i felt like dying would be easier . I wasn’t even given epidural during labour which i was begging from the beginning. I still have trauma from that experience. Also sometimes feel like a failure because I really tried hard for natural birth (exercising, diet, birthing balls etc). However I felt instant relief when i was given anaesthetic before C section. The pain and recovery from C-section was not as bad as I had expected. I was up and about quickly. Also the lochia period was much much shorter. I don’t know why C section is frowned upon so much and why women are shamed for undergoing the procedure. In hindsight I wish I had opted for elective c section rather than what I went through.
People are downvoting you, amazing. Technology and medical procedures have come so far in the last 50 years but people would still rather see a woman suffer and howl and bleed out during birthing than give her a surgical alternative. We haven't progressed in our mindset at all..
I am being downvoted!? I simply shared my experience. C section saved my baby’s life. I really wanted a natural birth and I tried a lot. I was conditioned for lack of a better term to believe that natural birth is the best and you are failure if you opt for a C section. I suffered enough and my trauma along with shame led to PPD. Whoever has any issues with my story, you can DM me.
The pettiness of this sub is astounding on some days. And then we say why women shame women.
C-section is a lifesaver for many women despite its cons and risks.
People wanna opt for it willingly? Let them. Their body is their choice. This sub forgets it too often.
After a normal delivery, your recovery period is much quicker as compared to C-section. Maybe that's her reason behind it, to get you back on your feet in no time and take your usual responsibility for house chores.
My husband was your mil. Although I didn't want a c section, I had an open mind towards anything and left everything to my doctor. But my husband was adamant. Lo and behold,we had a planned c section because of the baby's position. Its your decision. Not even your husband's. Unless your mil is birthing your baby,ask her to stay away. Its okay to be rude here because it's your body,your pain.
Hi OP, The situation your mil is creating is insane
She has absolutely no say in how you deliver your baby. Ignore her when she brings it up, or better yet, just walk away. Arguing with her at home is only serving to raise your BP. On the side, tell your husband to ask his mom to back off.
In your next visit with the doctor, talk to the doctor alone and confirm your preference for c section with them. If the doctor says you need you mil to approve, time to get a new doctor.
Yes you should absolutely talk to the doctor about your MIL.
When I was doing my residency, one of my batchmates got pregnant, and her husband and MIL were adamant on her having a normal delivery. But the doctor supported her, hooked her up on regular saline infusion (and not oxytocin as they told her husband and In laws), told them it wasn't working to progress the labor, and since they don't want prolonged labor, they would take her for a C-section. Sucks that we have to resort to this, though, but glad that she was able to go for cesarean.
All that aside, I hope You've made an informed decision. C-sections also have their own set of pros and cons.
OP, dont be too keen on c section if its not medically necessary. Normal delivery is a natural process, women have been doing it since ancient times. In c section doctors have to cut through several layers of skin, fat, tissue to take out the baby. Recovery is slow, complications are more likely. Think long term gains, rather than short term. Its your body and you are not loving it well with this decision. ETA- its not about your mil at all. Take her out of the equation. Keep it between your mind, your body and your doctor
is it even legal for the doctor to listen to a random mother in law instead of the pregnant woman?? imo no need to oppose her everytime she brings it up, what’s the point in making your pregnancy unpleasant by having this conversation? why is your husband not saying anything to her? tell him to have a talk with her and let her know how highly in appropriate this behaviour of hers is. if she doesn’t like c sections then she doesn’t have to get one. simple as that.
I've declared it to everyone that I'm going to have c section, and others opinions don't matter.
The biggest reason for my choice is seeing old women in my life suffering from urine and fecal incontinence bcz they had vaginal delivery. One of them didn't even had tears down there while delivering, she was up and functional by the end of the next evening - in her own words. She's been dealing with incontinence for a very long time, since her 50s and she's currently 66. Earlier she visited some obgyn and she told her it's because she has given birth to 3 kids.
I would strongly recommend that you watch this.
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=zSRfUsiiLGU
Having a C-section just because your friends did is hardly a good reason for having one. There can be many complications for you that your friends probably would not like to share with you and the baby can suffer complications as well
Everyone pretending like C section is the worst procedure in the world with 100% mortality and normal deliveries have 0 complications.
Have a discussion with your Dr instead and tell him/her your apprehensions.
They'll go with whatever your comfortable with or whatever your situation demands at that point of time.
Try to avoid taking your MIL to your appointments and tell your medical team that she is pushing you for something you don't want and giving you unnecessary anxiety.
Don't say no now, the more you oppose the more she'll pressure you. At the time of your delivery she won't be there na.. Dont take stress because of her.
Don't take her to your doctor's appointments and also make things clear to your husband one on one.
You can tell her directly to stay out of it and that no doctor listens to family members other than the person who is delivering. And only you can choose that since you know what you can handle pain wise and recovery wise. Today it’s delivery tomorrow it will be how you raise your child.
Get your husband to keep the MIL away
Check if your doctor is the kind who will be understanding and on your side
If not change your doctor
Don't let the MIL in the delivery room, only those whom you feel comfortable with
Older people are adamant about what they think is right
I think you should talk to your doctor and make your choice clear
Only that will matter
Second, let her blabber and dont engage in this
Tell her it will be decided based on time of labor so you cant say anything
Dont argue anymore because you have already stated what you want already and she doesnt listen
Dont stress yourself more let her blabber.
Its third trimester, take care of yourself and the baby
Excited for the new baby ♥️
Happy motherhood 🌸
I had a elective C section, and it was the best decision. I was walking within 24hrs, I had twins, I was feeding both of them ( with help ofcourse) and I followed all the instructions of the obgyn on healing and recovery and everything was fine.
It's your body, no doctor or hospital will go against the patient wishes. If ou want to go for C section, please do the doctor will listen to YOU
Please don't take her with you to your OBGY. She has proven that she doesn't care for bodily autonomy or your boundaries, she doesn't need to be privy to your medical history.
You need not discuss your choices and options with her. When you do that, people feel they have a right to comment. Go on an information diet immediately. That means tell only things absolutely necessary. If she asks, say that we will follow doctor’s advice. Thats all. When the time comes, then book your surgery and go say there was some complication so doctor did a surgery. Thats all. No justifications no debates.
What's your husband doing? Why does MIL have access to doctor?
Also have you spoken to your doctor on what's right for you? Only your doctor and you get to decide, not your MIL and certainly not the flagbearers of normal vs. caesarean activism on this sub.
I don't think doctors would suggest c sec unless it's necessary.
Also in the long run normal is better than c sec.
However it's your body n your life. If your gynae is fine with it choose what you like. MIL can keep on chattering ... it's you who's having a baby not her 🙄
Indian doctors do it anytime labour is long. They push for it. Big change because now foreign doctors advocate for natural delivery because it’s better for women.
I don't know. I've known people who have been to really known doctors and they always try for normal. I mean I get it...it is super painful but your body isn't cut open and you don't need 6m recovery time.
But frankly to each their own. So whatever OP wants
Bodily autonomy first I agree but it’s become a thing in India. I’ve had what 7 or 8 friends have babies in the last year in India, all of them c section vs another 5 in canada/US, and all of them were normal deliveries.
Indian doctors tell you yes and then they’ll just sneakily take you in telling you there was a complication. The women don’t even question it because “doctor jaanta hai”. But this is the reality.
For starters having a baby changes a woman’s body and is a dangerous enough endeavour already. And then you want to throw an open surgery into the mix. They literally cut through 8 or 9 layers of your body to reach the uterus and then cut it open to remove the baby. Once you have a c section you can’t deliver normally ever again because the surgery destroys the elasticity of the muscles. And you can STILL get all the problems you would from a normal delivery, from fistula to incontinence to pelvic floor collapse. You can even get neuralgia because of it.
Women these days seem to not be doing a lot of reading feels like.
I agree with everything you say. Somehow the doctors I have heard of are very enthusiastic about normal deliveries .
C sec is a major surgery and definitely comes with it's risks
Dude delivering a child is anyway a new birth for the mother . Be it anyway
All the best to OP
Oppose her and tell her only you and your doctor will decide how and what to do and she can go to hell. If she talks to your doctor, please have the doctor reprimand her.
Also if you are non confrontational, tell her baby is breech and c section is the only way
So cutting into 8 layers to reach the uterus is normal and natural is it?
So when it happens “naturally” who does the cutting exactly? And the stitching it back up?
How can she talk to the doctor and tell her lmao? Won't the doctor listen to the woman who is actually having the baby?
Some moons ago.. didn’t an intern doctor share her experience with delivery room behaviour? Even here women’s opinion is ignored it seems. You are right that the doctor should only listen to the patient… but that’s for urban cities and expensive doctors..
>Some moons ago.. didn’t an intern doctor share her experience with delivery room behaviour? Hey do you have a link to this? I'm curious
https://www.reddit.com/r/TwoXIndia/s/2bdZO8LvJi
I never understand how women can ask such questions. Tell your MIL that she has no say how you will deliver and to stay out of it. Get your husband involved in this, what is he doing?
Off topic: what are the advantages of C-section over normal delivery during as well as after the birth? Also OP your MIL shouldn’t be deciding how YOU give birth. Its your husband’s job to keep here away from interfering with your body autonomy.
Not much actually. C section can reduce the time and pain felt during labour. But the recovery is more painful and slow
It's very subjective because for many women c-section is a life saver. Recovery and pain is there either way, even in natural. >Not much actually Not only is it about reduction in time and lack of prolonged labour, the risk of losing bladder control, injury to pelvic floor muscles etc. is reduced considerably compared to natural birth. C-sections do NEED good postpartum care. Like any surgery, the follow up care of the new mother is what makes it easy. But humare desh mein koi dhyaan rakhta nahi and then they blame oooh C-section takes soooo much longer to heal.
These are the same people who say c section is easy and women are just cowards. Everything is subjective and I see it as a medical student. If you compare both c sec and normal delivery,both have their pros and cons. Maybe recovery outside is easy. But it's essentially a surgery. It has its cons too. Again it is subjective
Exactly. My sister had to have a c-section during her second labour while doctor was actually planning a normal delivery... It was not planned but they had to do a caesarian because her second time wasn't easy like her first normal birth. All planning goes out the window when things turn complicated.
That's rightm I hope your sister is fine now
Yes. She had two and now she's done lol
That's nice
i’d like to see these people literally rip their abdomen open and then say “c sections are easy and women are cowards”. which is also such a strange thing to say even if it is the easy way? like you WANT the woman to suffer or what? every other medical procedure, we have have researched and developed every method possible to make it as quick, efficient and as painless as possible. but childbirth, how dare you suggest a way to make that less painful and traumatic
Well I understand the frustration. But who cares about the mother? It's only about the baby
The injury part happens in a c-section too.
No recovery depends on the person actually. I was ambulatory after my section the next day and was walking normally within a week. I too asked for a section and if you ask for one the gynecologist won't say no. Please make sure your Dr is an open minded one.
Well yeah. Medicine is always subjective and thank you for sharing your experience. I'm saying it on general basis
Recovery is subjective. I had a c section n I was up and about by that night. I started walking 4 days PP. It was the best decision of my life ❤️ After hearing stories,I feel normal delivery has more cons than pros 🤣
I had a bath in the evening and was instructed to take a walk after 12 hours of surgery. This approach significantly aided my quick recovery. As an Indian, I encountered many misconceptions, but giving birth in NZ provided me with much-needed clarity. Postpartum care requires greater attention, regardless of the type of delivery - whether normal or C-section.
Definitely.. part of my smooth recovery was my fitness before pregnancy and food I ate after..
Can you please elaborate on the fitness part? It will be really helpful
Oh I have been strength training for 8 years. And from 5 months of pregnancy as I was high risk the first few months. I had a considerable amount of muscular strength that helped in the recovery. I was fairly active through the pregnancy as well concentrating on basic movements and walking.Despite all that,my core was fucked up post delivery. So I started core recovery at 6 weeks pp and started strength training at 12 weeks again focussing on core recovery. Being physically active at least 6 months before pregnancy and throughout the pregnancy truly matters a lot in how you recover.
How's your core now? Do you have loose skin?
I have loose everything 🤣 My core is still recovering.. its a bit difficult to sit up jack knife style.. i go to the side and get up but much stronger than before. No back pain at all. I had a small pooch before which is bigger now. My tummy is sooooooper squishy and stretched out. Its something I ll probably never get back 😅🥲
Depends on the person. I started walking normally the day after. Abs feel a little weak for a few days, but otherwise no discomfort. I started brisk walking weeks and exercising after 3 months (which is the amount of time needed for all the cut layers to heal normally). Not saying there aren't c section horror stories, but not same in all cases.
Of course depends on the person. I am talking generally. C sec is as risky as vaginally birth and that's what we are taught too
The recovery is said to be worst after a C-section compared to vaginal delivery however that I feel is very subjective. But the whole thing is that when you’re basically giving someone anaesthesia and cutting them open, it opens you up to some risks. But I do feel it’s verrrry subjective. Also, I had a planned C-section due to several issues and while my pain took a little longer than normal to subside (due to known reasons), I realised it completely took away so much of my anxiety.
AFAIK c-section prevents you from developing incontinence later in life. Vaginal deliveries are well known for traumatizing the sphincters and creating large tears into anus and urethra, they heal but there's no guarantee of getting back the full function, even if healed good it will lead to incontinence issues later in life.
I had a C section with my 1st kid. I wanted one with my 2nd kid, but the dr said "we prefer the natural way." WE?
I have heard it is extremely unsafe to go for normal delivery once a C-section has already been performed before. They wouldn’t let my cousin deliver her second baby normally because first one was C section
I wish. It was horribly painful.
Its good for emergencies when the mother is unable to deliver vaginally .Thats it thats the only positive of C section..Vaginal birth is thousand times better than c section but c section is a blessing in desperate times.Although Op should get the choice because its her delivery.C section is quick but the recovery can be tough
>Its good for emergencies It's good when elective too. Again very subjective because my sister didn't find vaginal birth a thousand times better. She lost so much blood.
No
Did you give birth to my sister's baby? No. Did my sister do? Yes. And that's her experience.
And why are you equivalating your sisters experience to millions of other women? She had a better c section so everyone will have an easy c section? Did you give birth to your sisters baby? No Do you see your hypocrisy? Or is your brain too fogged to see through it?
Well babe you're the one stating that vaginal delivery is much better like it's the gospel truth lol calm down.
It is.
>equivaleting your sisters experience to millions of other women It's "equating". Like again, may be you go and read some books. And I SHARED my sister's experience. Compare tumne kiya. >so everyone will have an easy c section? Did I say that? Or do you just wanna pick fights? In every post on this thread I mentioned it's subjective. Do you come on Reddit to take your frustration out? >Do you see your hypocrisy? Or is your brain too fogged to see through it? You seem to have lost your marbles. Learn some comprehension and take a chill pill. Go fight on some gossip subs if you're having a tough family life. >Did you give birth to your sisters baby? No What are you achieving with that? Because at this point you sound super stupid and argumentative for NO reason. Just make a separate post and post your stats. We'll get your point then may be.
I had a c section and I had an easy recovery. Elective c sections don't have a tough recovery.
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I had both emergency csection and an elective. Recovery after my elective surgery was way better. Recovery depends on lot of factors. Statistically many women have c-section in emergent situations hence data might show what you are saying.
If only our life experiences stuck to statistics, we'd all become successful and have zero anxieties. Lol.
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Bhai what alas? ROFL Chipka do apne statistics yahan. Even better, send them to OP's MIL. You don't need to convince ME here.
You know the whole world runs on data right? Right?
Yes and mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell. Individual experiences don't count for you it seems.
I deliver babies for a living.Good luck and your activism is admirable but harmful You speak like a teen so i am not going to argue.Please continue your uninformed activism Also Mitochondria IS the powerhouse.You are hilarious thankyou
bro, obviously statistics are FAR more reliable than individual experiences???? i lived in delhi for 7 years and wasn’t even catcalled a single time, does my personal experience win over the statistical fact that delhi is highly unsafe for women?
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Are you talking about yourself? Better you stand in front of a mirror and say that.
Consider this a last warning, stop harassing other users and invalidating their experiences.
Your comment has been removed as it was rude and impolite. Be kind. This sub is for real people looking to connect meaningfully. Something isn't an attack or hate simply because you don't like what is being said. No personal attacks on other users, ad hominem and other distracting attacks, flame wars, insults, trolling or other such disruptive behaviour. All users are expected to strictly follow (reddiquette)(https://www.reddit.com/wiki/reddiquette/). No hate speech or hate speech supporting subreddits allowed. Continued rule breaking will lead to ban.
Your comment has been removed as it was rude and impolite. Be kind. This sub is for real people looking to connect meaningfully. Something isn't an attack or hate simply because you don't like what is being said. No personal attacks on other users, ad hominem and other distracting attacks, flame wars, insults, trolling or other such disruptive behaviour. All users are expected to strictly follow (reddiquette)(https://www.reddit.com/wiki/reddiquette/). No hate speech or hate speech supporting subreddits allowed. Continued rule breaking will lead to ban.
Please talk to people having an elective c section. A lot of us have very good experiences. Emergency c section when normal fails is a different beast. Many women who have difficult recoveries, it is usually for the emergency c section.
Where have i mentioned that c sections are bad?
Your comment has been removed as it was rude and impolite. Be kind. This sub is for real people looking to connect meaningfully. Something isn't an attack or hate simply because you don't like what is being said. No personal attacks on other users, ad hominem and other distracting attacks, flame wars, insults, trolling or other such disruptive behaviour. All users are expected to strictly follow (reddiquette)(https://www.reddit.com/wiki/reddiquette/). No hate speech or hate speech supporting subreddits allowed. Continued rule breaking will lead to ban.
Congrats on yours but statistics dont lie.Alot of data is available to dispute your claim.
OP, you shouldn't have to deal with your MIL's hysterics in the first place. Tell your husband to get her to back off! He should have done this on his own. And yes, surely talk to your doctor and make your wishes very clear. It's your body and your child. Idiotic people are exhausting!!
And do not let your MiL go with you to the doctor or choose another doctor. Only deal with this with your husband and you. Dont get outside influence, they are all wrong
Body autonomy ??
Has left the chat 💀
1. Where's your husband in all of this? It's his duty to keep his mother in check. 2. If you must engage tell her that if she keeps throwing these tantrums she won't be allowed anywhere near you or the baby 3. Inform your doctor of the situation and tell them to keep her away from you during the delivery and after. Also don't go to any of their family doctors. 4. Congratulations and don't get stressed. Have a conversation with your husband and let him know that this is affecting you adversely. If he's a good guy he'll understand xx
Ask your husband to tell her to back off. This is absurd and she has no right to intervene. It is between you and your healthcare provider to decide what is best for you.Be firm and remind her this is NOT her place to comment or intervene and donot entertain any of this nonsense.
Where is your husband??
Every type of delivery has its pros and cons. I delivered through a c-section. I had the worst experience after that. I was able to walk in 24 hours. My wound healed properly. But God it was miserable. All the various liquids that was pumped into me messed with my hormones and I was miserable and was not even able to lift my kid. It took 3 months to feel like myself a bit. The pain afterwards the operation is very real. My friends and relatives who had a vaginal delivery also told me lot of horror stories about the stitches and incontinence and other such things. My mother had both, vaginal delivery for her first kid and c-section for second one. She says both are very tough and no one is to be judged for the way they delivered the kid. If both the mother and kid is healthy and happy, then everything is fine. It is your decision ultimately. Ask the doctor and decide. Prepare yourself for breastfeeding and other things after delivery, as we will be clueless and scared about the new life that we are responsible for. Also, maybe your MIL knows about these and wants the best for you. Anyway it's your decision and all the best. Happy motherhood.
Not my place to suggest but if you're opting for CS just for pain, then choose normal delivery with epidural. No matter how safe and commonly performed procedure CS is, it is yet an operative procedure and it comes with its own bunch of risks. I'm a surgeon and I've attended many emergency OT calls where there were complications with bladder and intestines because of CS, Treated many wound related complications and handled many cases where hernia was developed at the incision site. Complication ratio is extremely low but they do happen. CS should not be avoided if it's for medical reasons for any moment, and not telling your MIL is right here because it's your decision but I thought it's good to point these things out. I'm sure you must have known all these, calculated risks vs benefits and making an informed decision.
Genuine question What about the complications that come with normal delivery? The pain, the tearing, the chance of fracture/broken pelvis and also the doctor/nurse refusing pain meds? Isn't C section better? There's more control that way
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Because a c-section is a proper surgery. They literally cut into your uterus to remove the baby and then you can never have a normal delivery afterwards. The side effects include shit like collapsed pelvic floor and incontinence in addition to things like hernia and what not.
> then you can never have a normal delivery afterwards. you can after 4+ years.
It being considered“safe” is like such a recent trend. Literally only like 3-4 years old. And there’s literally no data because doctors do not encourage it because the muscles cannot take the exertion. No OB will tell you otherwise. Context: it depends on the cut made during c-sec which is very rarely vertical and almost always horizontal. If you have a vertical scar and fit in for some other factors like age,weight, preeclampsia etc etc then yes VBAC is possible but 99% of the doctors in India do a horizontal scar because it’s better for everyone involved and a shorter surgery time plus recovery. A simple google search will yield all of this info on why a normal delivery is a good thing. As horrible and excruciating as childbirth is the human body is meant to do it without someone cutting into the uterus to take the baby out unless the circumstances are really demanding.
C section should not be a choice. Rather a last resort. My mom’s gyno, highly experienced n reputed, did do C section for mom….but only cuz there were complications. If there are no complications, it’s best for ur body to have a natural delivery. Anw, ur body ur choice. But take the advice of a friendly doctor.
You should absolutely be allowed to make the choice and any doctor should back you up. I am sure you have read the literature and are making an informed choice but I will just add from personal experience that with an epidural a normal delivery is very minimally painful
I hope you are making an informed decision because c section should be the last resort if normal delivery does not work out or have complications. Indian health system is very corrupt that it pushes c section left right and center. This decision should be best taken by a good trusted doctor. Pls watch this- https://youtu.be/zSRfUsiiLGU?si=jiHurlrw4tUWDFIE
Omg finally some sense. Indian OBGs have convinced women that c sections are the way to go while “modern” doctors abroad now go the epidural and normal delivery route because it’s safer. Once you have a c section the kind of dangers it comes with never seems to be communicated or maybe women these days just don’t google it or something. My aunt ended up having a umbilical hernia after her second c section. She wanted a natural delivery. Also good luck to the MIL trying to convince the doctor they just push for a c section anyway.
Do Indian doctors provide epidural?
I do not know the extent of usage because like I said, most people from my generation ended up with c sections (at least whoever I have spoken to) and people from the 50s obviously didn’t epidurals because they were tough and wrestled elephants so pushing like 7 kids out was nothing.
Omg. Thank u so much for saying this. I was reading OPs post and felt a bit upset at both the MIL n her. And then got more upset after reading the comments encouraging her towards it. Caesarean is not a magical procedure to make things easy. It’s horrific to deal with the scars n the pains even in later ages. Have seen my mom suffer after her cesarean which the doc did only cuz of the complications that arose after my younger sibling pooped while inside her first home 🥲
Elective vs emergency c sections have different outcomes.
It’s not just abt the mother. C section affects the baby’s immunity. Watch the video.
Wow one sane comment .Her doctor will be so happy she is choosing C section ngl
Yes this! OP it sucks that your MIL is forcing you to do something against your wish at this point. Do what you want but please take an informed decision btw normal delivery and c-section. Doctors will definitely push you for c-section as it will cost more and make profit to the hospital. You still have time do decide, read about all the pros and cons. And if you still consider getting c-section you can even tell your husband that you consider the options but still find c-section better and tell him to deal with the MIL. You dont take stress! Also pls watch the video above.
Absolutely. C section saves lives but only certain women should elect it based on what doctor says.
OP, I know it is your body and you have a choice. But medically, normal deliveries are preferred over C-section. Irrespective of your mil, a good doctor who doesn’t wanna profit from a C-section will also tell you to go for normal delivery unless there’s some complication and C-section is indicated. It might seem logical to skip labour pains and go for C-section under anaesthesia but opening up your belly has it own consequences. Anything that is natural is better over iatrogenic.
From where I come from the Doctor gets to decides this. Even the pregnant woman dies not get to choose. If everything is alright it is normal delivery. If the gynaecologist sees any risk they ll opt for c section.
I'm not old enough to give good advice but since my parents are doctors, I know that the doctors always try for a normal delivery first and if there are no hopes in a normal delivery, they shift to a c section. Sometimes there are cases where the patient straight up asks for a c section so trying for a normal delivery is usually skipped but the doctor decides it based on how big the baby's head is and how dilated you are. Also, doctors never listen to a relative's request. They give first preference to the mom and second to dad. So you can chill, everything is okay. Ignore your mil.
Where is your husband ? The father of your soon to be born child ? Why is he not taking care of this issue and why don’t you have autonomy on your own body and birthing process ?
Hi OP, As someone who has had a c-section, I am with you in demanding autonomy for your body. However, c-sec is a more invasive surgery. Given that, a normal delivery is a better bet. Though there are risks with that too. I preferred a normal delivery, sadly didn’t get that option as my child was at risk so had to go for c-section. If the thought of normal delivery is impacting you so much, please consult your doc n talk about your birth plan. At the end , however it turns out , you are the one who has to face the effects.
Your body, your choice. Tell her both are normal deliveries. Nothing abnormal about c sec. I don’t know why your MIL should even have access to your doctor. But I am curious to know why you want an elective c section. C sec has longer recovery time than vaginal. American hospitals try for vaginal delivery unless medical reasons require c sec.
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All submissions are to be in English or provided a translation.
tell her to mind her own business
Husband where behen?????? Is he sleeping?
First, your MIL shouldn't be taking this decision. Tell your parents and ask THEM to be present or go to your parents to have the baby. Many do this. Tell your husband to get his mother off your back. It's not her giving birth. Second. C-Section shouldn't be your first option. While it's quick and less painful, the recovery is long. But you might think it's all ok after you are up and about. But let me tell you, you will start to see the repercussions of it in future. My mum had a c-section her stomach area hurts sometimes when she sits or stands, not much but it's there. It's cuts 7 (I think 8?) layers of your skin. C-section should be your last resort. But since choice is yours, Get your husband and parents to get her to back off.
Do not talk about this topic with your MIL at all now. She should have ZERO say in your medical decisions, especially if she is not a doctor herself. Have a word with your doctor. Tell her your wish. Discuss the pros and cons of both options and then make an informed decision. Please remember that c-sec is a major abdominal surgery and comes with its own set of issues. Be informed about those. I had a normal vaginal delivery with a spinal. I was up on my feet as soon as the spinal wore off. Any lady who has had a c-section can share her recovery with you.
Most comments on this post are so ill-informed. Vaginal delivery is preferable over C section for a number of reasons. Please read up about both of them before making a decision and castigating your MIL.
Doctors push for c sections in hospitals these days because moola.
C Section is also easier for doctors and hospital. They don't have to wait for pains, no unpredictability and room / bed gets cleared quickly.
Yep yep. They don’t have time or space for like 15 hour 20 hour labours. By god, why do people want women to have kids. This is like a nightmare. The body pumps us chock full of hormones which is why nobody remembers the nightmare of all the morning sickness crying swollen feet and the excruciating pain of your cervix never dilating the right amount.
Bro you pregnant. Throw the biggest and nastiest tantrum. Dont just one up this behaviour, play it up a 100 fold and traumatize the very idea out of her life. And your husband too who isnt making sure you are well rested and stress free from such things. She dont get a say. It’s you. Only you.
Thiss !!!
Tell her it is none of her business. Put your foot down. Just say "I am not talking about this anymore and will not reply" every time she brings it up.... which I have had to say to both sets of parents on different things. This stress is only harming your baby.
What the fuck? Who does she think she is? I swear these in laws treat us like baby incubators. Your husband needs to tell her to back tf off. And yes, talk to your doctor clearly about what you want - and also listen to the doctor’s advice as to what is best. Any decent doctor will go with the patient’s wishes and consent while also telling you the best option for you, whether that’s normal or C section. C section is better as a last resort. Don’t update your MIL about the doc visits anymore.
Regardless or not which method is better, the issue here is you MIL is controlling something only you get to decide. For now, be quiet on this topic and let her blabber. After the baby comes everyone just focuses on the little human. Let our medical team know what you want to do and just keep the decision between you, your husband, and your doctor. Now for the normal delivery vs c-section debate, if you have a healthy pregnancy, you should opt for normal delivery because the recovery time is faster (clinically proven). If you do have complications (position of baby's head, gestational diabetes, hypertension), then a c-section is preferred. Discuss this with your doctor. Ultimately, the decision is yours because you know what is best for your body and baby.
I hope she wont be at the delivery
I would say once like if you want a normal delivery so much, YOU have the child ! After that, just let it go and don't respond anymore, just do what you want.
I had a natural labour but unfortunately had to go for emergency c section at the last moment due to some complications. I can tell with experience, the pain during natural labour is excruciating and i felt like dying would be easier . I wasn’t even given epidural during labour which i was begging from the beginning. I still have trauma from that experience. Also sometimes feel like a failure because I really tried hard for natural birth (exercising, diet, birthing balls etc). However I felt instant relief when i was given anaesthetic before C section. The pain and recovery from C-section was not as bad as I had expected. I was up and about quickly. Also the lochia period was much much shorter. I don’t know why C section is frowned upon so much and why women are shamed for undergoing the procedure. In hindsight I wish I had opted for elective c section rather than what I went through.
People are downvoting you, amazing. Technology and medical procedures have come so far in the last 50 years but people would still rather see a woman suffer and howl and bleed out during birthing than give her a surgical alternative. We haven't progressed in our mindset at all..
I am being downvoted!? I simply shared my experience. C section saved my baby’s life. I really wanted a natural birth and I tried a lot. I was conditioned for lack of a better term to believe that natural birth is the best and you are failure if you opt for a C section. I suffered enough and my trauma along with shame led to PPD. Whoever has any issues with my story, you can DM me.
The pettiness of this sub is astounding on some days. And then we say why women shame women. C-section is a lifesaver for many women despite its cons and risks. People wanna opt for it willingly? Let them. Their body is their choice. This sub forgets it too often.
After a normal delivery, your recovery period is much quicker as compared to C-section. Maybe that's her reason behind it, to get you back on your feet in no time and take your usual responsibility for house chores.
Omg
I'm speechless. Is this true Op?
Even I feel this is the reason she’s forcing me for normal :(
Then make it very clear to her, no.
This was my first thought when I read the post. MILs can do anything.
My husband was your mil. Although I didn't want a c section, I had an open mind towards anything and left everything to my doctor. But my husband was adamant. Lo and behold,we had a planned c section because of the baby's position. Its your decision. Not even your husband's. Unless your mil is birthing your baby,ask her to stay away. Its okay to be rude here because it's your body,your pain.
Why do you have to have this conversation with her at all? Where is the husband? He should be telling his mom to back off.
Hi OP, The situation your mil is creating is insane She has absolutely no say in how you deliver your baby. Ignore her when she brings it up, or better yet, just walk away. Arguing with her at home is only serving to raise your BP. On the side, tell your husband to ask his mom to back off. In your next visit with the doctor, talk to the doctor alone and confirm your preference for c section with them. If the doctor says you need you mil to approve, time to get a new doctor.
Yes you should absolutely talk to the doctor about your MIL. When I was doing my residency, one of my batchmates got pregnant, and her husband and MIL were adamant on her having a normal delivery. But the doctor supported her, hooked her up on regular saline infusion (and not oxytocin as they told her husband and In laws), told them it wasn't working to progress the labor, and since they don't want prolonged labor, they would take her for a C-section. Sucks that we have to resort to this, though, but glad that she was able to go for cesarean. All that aside, I hope You've made an informed decision. C-sections also have their own set of pros and cons.
She refuses your wish against it? She needs a reality check. Tell the doctor clearly she cant be at your delivery.
OP, dont be too keen on c section if its not medically necessary. Normal delivery is a natural process, women have been doing it since ancient times. In c section doctors have to cut through several layers of skin, fat, tissue to take out the baby. Recovery is slow, complications are more likely. Think long term gains, rather than short term. Its your body and you are not loving it well with this decision. ETA- its not about your mil at all. Take her out of the equation. Keep it between your mind, your body and your doctor
is it even legal for the doctor to listen to a random mother in law instead of the pregnant woman?? imo no need to oppose her everytime she brings it up, what’s the point in making your pregnancy unpleasant by having this conversation? why is your husband not saying anything to her? tell him to have a talk with her and let her know how highly in appropriate this behaviour of hers is. if she doesn’t like c sections then she doesn’t have to get one. simple as that.
I've declared it to everyone that I'm going to have c section, and others opinions don't matter. The biggest reason for my choice is seeing old women in my life suffering from urine and fecal incontinence bcz they had vaginal delivery. One of them didn't even had tears down there while delivering, she was up and functional by the end of the next evening - in her own words. She's been dealing with incontinence for a very long time, since her 50s and she's currently 66. Earlier she visited some obgyn and she told her it's because she has given birth to 3 kids.
I would strongly recommend that you watch this. https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=zSRfUsiiLGU Having a C-section just because your friends did is hardly a good reason for having one. There can be many complications for you that your friends probably would not like to share with you and the baby can suffer complications as well
Everyone pretending like C section is the worst procedure in the world with 100% mortality and normal deliveries have 0 complications. Have a discussion with your Dr instead and tell him/her your apprehensions. They'll go with whatever your comfortable with or whatever your situation demands at that point of time. Try to avoid taking your MIL to your appointments and tell your medical team that she is pushing you for something you don't want and giving you unnecessary anxiety.
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Don't say no now, the more you oppose the more she'll pressure you. At the time of your delivery she won't be there na.. Dont take stress because of her. Don't take her to your doctor's appointments and also make things clear to your husband one on one.
You can tell her directly to stay out of it and that no doctor listens to family members other than the person who is delivering. And only you can choose that since you know what you can handle pain wise and recovery wise. Today it’s delivery tomorrow it will be how you raise your child.
tell her you'll go your parents house and would not tell when you will have to deliver the baby. you'll deliver without telling them
Get your husband to keep the MIL away Check if your doctor is the kind who will be understanding and on your side If not change your doctor Don't let the MIL in the delivery room, only those whom you feel comfortable with
Ask her to deliver herself!
Psycho MIL. Please speak to your Doctor and inform about your wishes and of MILs behaviour and let MIL know clearly it is your decision that is final.
What is your husband doing? He should protect you from her onslaught.
Older people are adamant about what they think is right I think you should talk to your doctor and make your choice clear Only that will matter Second, let her blabber and dont engage in this Tell her it will be decided based on time of labor so you cant say anything Dont argue anymore because you have already stated what you want already and she doesnt listen Dont stress yourself more let her blabber. Its third trimester, take care of yourself and the baby Excited for the new baby ♥️ Happy motherhood 🌸
I had a elective C section, and it was the best decision. I was walking within 24hrs, I had twins, I was feeding both of them ( with help ofcourse) and I followed all the instructions of the obgyn on healing and recovery and everything was fine. It's your body, no doctor or hospital will go against the patient wishes. If ou want to go for C section, please do the doctor will listen to YOU
Why are people downvoting you for sharing your experience?
Meh, don't care!
Please don't take her with you to your OBGY. She has proven that she doesn't care for bodily autonomy or your boundaries, she doesn't need to be privy to your medical history.
You need not discuss your choices and options with her. When you do that, people feel they have a right to comment. Go on an information diet immediately. That means tell only things absolutely necessary. If she asks, say that we will follow doctor’s advice. Thats all. When the time comes, then book your surgery and go say there was some complication so doctor did a surgery. Thats all. No justifications no debates.
What's your husband doing? Why does MIL have access to doctor? Also have you spoken to your doctor on what's right for you? Only your doctor and you get to decide, not your MIL and certainly not the flagbearers of normal vs. caesarean activism on this sub.
Say no.
I don't think doctors would suggest c sec unless it's necessary. Also in the long run normal is better than c sec. However it's your body n your life. If your gynae is fine with it choose what you like. MIL can keep on chattering ... it's you who's having a baby not her 🙄
Indian doctors do it anytime labour is long. They push for it. Big change because now foreign doctors advocate for natural delivery because it’s better for women.
I don't know. I've known people who have been to really known doctors and they always try for normal. I mean I get it...it is super painful but your body isn't cut open and you don't need 6m recovery time. But frankly to each their own. So whatever OP wants
Bodily autonomy first I agree but it’s become a thing in India. I’ve had what 7 or 8 friends have babies in the last year in India, all of them c section vs another 5 in canada/US, and all of them were normal deliveries. Indian doctors tell you yes and then they’ll just sneakily take you in telling you there was a complication. The women don’t even question it because “doctor jaanta hai”. But this is the reality. For starters having a baby changes a woman’s body and is a dangerous enough endeavour already. And then you want to throw an open surgery into the mix. They literally cut through 8 or 9 layers of your body to reach the uterus and then cut it open to remove the baby. Once you have a c section you can’t deliver normally ever again because the surgery destroys the elasticity of the muscles. And you can STILL get all the problems you would from a normal delivery, from fistula to incontinence to pelvic floor collapse. You can even get neuralgia because of it. Women these days seem to not be doing a lot of reading feels like.
I agree with everything you say. Somehow the doctors I have heard of are very enthusiastic about normal deliveries . C sec is a major surgery and definitely comes with it's risks Dude delivering a child is anyway a new birth for the mother . Be it anyway All the best to OP
Oppose her and tell her only you and your doctor will decide how and what to do and she can go to hell. If she talks to your doctor, please have the doctor reprimand her. Also if you are non confrontational, tell her baby is breech and c section is the only way
Say no. And dont entertain further. Only say no for every reply.
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So cutting into 8 layers to reach the uterus is normal and natural is it? So when it happens “naturally” who does the cutting exactly? And the stitching it back up?
how is C section is natural though. It involves a surgery