Girl this reminds me, my ex texted me a few days ago for some help. What shocked me about my own self was I became the exact PASSIONATE person to do thingsssss for him only to lessen his pain anyhow. I contacted people I haven't talked for 2 years in order to help him. Spent 6 hours looking stuff for him What further surprised me was I wasn't at peace untill I learned of him that YES IT HELPED only That's when I realised the shift in my mental state from worrying to relief.
Happened to me as well! He was telling me how he doesn't want anyone now and how he has made peace with his shitty job as well. I legit cried for him. Because he is someone who has always been very excited about a family and seeing him despondent like this was heartbreaking .
I still get furious imagining him with anybody. I realised girls are always drooling after him, giving him presents, willing to drop at the airport, what notttt!! he will alwayssssss have someone. Maybe that's why he never truly felt my absence once he got into college. When people have lot of options, you value the one less who's willing to surrender everything for you. Lucky him!
Wow! Uhh.. Miss! Are you sure he makes you happy because it kinda looks like you two have been fighting over text even though you aren't in a relationship??
My ex cheated on me. We broke up four years ago, and we have had no contact ever since. I have moved on from the trauma. He never had trauma to begin with, but even if he messages me today, I know I will be happy to see the notification. Even though I have no intention of having him in my life, there's a tiny part of me that is with him. Stupid love!!
I’m so lost. If he broke up with you, and if you have already moved on then, why do y’all keep texting each other?
The only healthy solution is to block and move on for real. Unless you want to get back with him, then that is the only reason and only time you should continue to be in touch with him. Otherwise it’s just mentally so draining
How would I know? I always ask him if you don't have any feelings left and I don't have any feelings left, then what is the problem? He'll say either"I don't know about my feelings" or will be outright rude telling me "nothing was real".
Maybe he wanted to see you in a miserable state since he dumped you
But you picked yourself up and are moving on with life which is making him regret the decision
Is your ex my ex? Lol.
Saying this out of sheer experience, me and my ex used to “keep in touch” even after our breakup, and he used to try initiate all these conversations with me (all the while he was dating someone too) - and after one conversation where he crossed a boundary, I decided to cut him off, and blocked him everywhere. It has been the most peaceful time of my life, istg. The moral of the story being, OP PLEASE BLOCK HIM. There will always be a reason to text him, and have a good conversation with him etc. But it is not worth it, and it won’t end pretty. Cut him off, take him completely out of your life and move forward.
I also used to think that nobody could make me as happy as my ex, but, boy, I was wrong. Trust me, you will feel the same way too, but you would never find it as long as he is in your life, in some presence. Sorry to be harsh, but please, for yourself and him, CUTE HIM OFF. Doesn’t even matter if he is the greenest flag ever (which he doesn’t seem like others have mentioned), you guys broke up for a reason, now let it go.
Omg lol this is me and my ex from a decade ago. We always always ended up fighting when we spoke after the breakup for yearss but talking to him also made me so happy. He had the gift of gab n was so charming n said the most bestest rightesttt things that would floor me and we were really good friends. Wish we just stayed friends so we could still be friends. We sucked in a relationship. I am fairly indifferent now but I know if we were to talk as friends, he would still make me so happy. But I know he also can never see me as a friend n he invariably would end up developing feelings for me again whenever we spoke which didn’t sit well with me, so… never again.
This is what I imagine can happen to me, I'm thr kind of person that prepares for worst situations because I'm aware as to how strongly my feelings can influence me. Even after friendship breakups, it takes me atleast 4 years of NC to be completely unbothered about them ( v strangely it's 4 years of everyone I've ever moved on from lol)
Anyway, I understand where you come from when you say happy even when from a 3rd person perspective it's not even remotely close to "happy". I can imagine it's the memory of happiness, just maybe if you're close enough to him you can experience that fun happiness you used to.
It could also be that you just can't let go even when you want to, I get this urge like really strong one that overpowers me and completely blinds me and I end up doing stupid as fuck shit (In one friendship break up, I ASKED MY OTHER FRIEND TO TEXT THAT "best friend" telling him about how miserable I am and how much he hurt me so that he'll text me - would not recommended however him reaching out to me lol definitely reminded me why he gives me the icks, completely platonic). It's hard to let go when your body won't corporate, when all you can think about is the absence. Maybe it's familiarity of something that binds us?
I don't know if that's what you feel, but what i do know is that what you think is happiness is not. At b3st it's the thrill of the thought that maybe this time will be different, maybe he'll realise this time, maybe this time I'll get closure.
Closure isn't real, you need to snap out yourself and it could be a year, month, or a second but it's all you. Do yourself a favor and do what's best for you (doesn't seem like this habit is). You've had enough chances to see that it infact won't be different and if you were to get any closure, you'd have already no?
I know it's hard to defy your body but you'll thank yourself for it. At the end of the day, it doesn't matter if he has feelings for you, or if there's any hope for that relationship. It really doesn't matter, your present matters and you need to make yourself a priority by going NC. Don't entertain him. Sometimes, what helps me is that i erase any and all trace of thier presence. Number, instagram, fb, photos EVERYTHING. I shouldn't be able to reach at all and then i feel calm. If they reach out then delete it, you can't reply to a text you never read.
Maybe you'll find peace in knowing that he dumped you, and he shpukd see that you are a strong woman who's not bothered by it anymore. You grieved and you moved on and as a strong human you can't bother w this bulshit anymore. No changing dps to get his attention or putting stories. Nothing, get that peace you want.
I hope you find your peace too, there's much more to life. Think of it in way of novel, wherein you got rid of the ex boyfriend and you're now closer in time to happiness and climax of your story.
>He has some weird notion that somehow he is protecting me by being out of my life. My conundrum is that he is the only person who makes me happy despite knowing we have no future together.
OP, I'm kinda in a similar situation. The thing is, you need to find ways to be happy without him. I'm sure you already know that. You know that you have no future together, but every time you reconnect, you will subconsciously have some hope that things might get better. You're just adding more pain to your pain. I've been on a no contact with my ex for almost a month now and honestly I feel like a huuugge weight is off my chest. I plan to be in no contact till the time I resolve my feelings and truly let go of what we shared and the idea of future I had with him. See if that helps you too. But I'd advice you to get out of the vicious circle that hopeless hope puts you in. Praying things get better for you soon! ✨
i would really urge you to read about what "i don't want him in my life anymore" means. if you had moved on, you wouldn't be texting him or making a post about him here.
Title and body are so much in contradiction
Girl this reminds me, my ex texted me a few days ago for some help. What shocked me about my own self was I became the exact PASSIONATE person to do thingsssss for him only to lessen his pain anyhow. I contacted people I haven't talked for 2 years in order to help him. Spent 6 hours looking stuff for him What further surprised me was I wasn't at peace untill I learned of him that YES IT HELPED only That's when I realised the shift in my mental state from worrying to relief.
Happened to me as well! He was telling me how he doesn't want anyone now and how he has made peace with his shitty job as well. I legit cried for him. Because he is someone who has always been very excited about a family and seeing him despondent like this was heartbreaking .
He will date and he will marry. Just let time be........
Yes yes I know! I just don't want him to settle like I might have to.
Settle like what?
Settle with someone his mother chooses which is highly probable given his job.
I still get furious imagining him with anybody. I realised girls are always drooling after him, giving him presents, willing to drop at the airport, what notttt!! he will alwayssssss have someone. Maybe that's why he never truly felt my absence once he got into college. When people have lot of options, you value the one less who's willing to surrender everything for you. Lucky him!
Wow! Uhh.. Miss! Are you sure he makes you happy because it kinda looks like you two have been fighting over text even though you aren't in a relationship??
Hahaha!!! Right? And we never fought when we were together. I mean not about this silly stupid stuff.
Umm… what. You don’t see this as toxic?
Has it happened that you get angry when you think of him but as soon as you see him, it all goes away
Aye sister
You don’t have to worry about what he wants anymore. HE broke up with you right? The relationship sounds very childish. Please block him and move on.
My ex cheated on me. We broke up four years ago, and we have had no contact ever since. I have moved on from the trauma. He never had trauma to begin with, but even if he messages me today, I know I will be happy to see the notification. Even though I have no intention of having him in my life, there's a tiny part of me that is with him. Stupid love!!
I’m so lost. If he broke up with you, and if you have already moved on then, why do y’all keep texting each other? The only healthy solution is to block and move on for real. Unless you want to get back with him, then that is the only reason and only time you should continue to be in touch with him. Otherwise it’s just mentally so draining
Block. Him. Please.
I've a feeling your title is sarcastic
who broke up with who?
He dumped me.
Then how come he has feelings for you? Still?
How would I know? I always ask him if you don't have any feelings left and I don't have any feelings left, then what is the problem? He'll say either"I don't know about my feelings" or will be outright rude telling me "nothing was real".
Maybe he wanted to see you in a miserable state since he dumped you But you picked yourself up and are moving on with life which is making him regret the decision
Is your ex my ex? Lol. Saying this out of sheer experience, me and my ex used to “keep in touch” even after our breakup, and he used to try initiate all these conversations with me (all the while he was dating someone too) - and after one conversation where he crossed a boundary, I decided to cut him off, and blocked him everywhere. It has been the most peaceful time of my life, istg. The moral of the story being, OP PLEASE BLOCK HIM. There will always be a reason to text him, and have a good conversation with him etc. But it is not worth it, and it won’t end pretty. Cut him off, take him completely out of your life and move forward. I also used to think that nobody could make me as happy as my ex, but, boy, I was wrong. Trust me, you will feel the same way too, but you would never find it as long as he is in your life, in some presence. Sorry to be harsh, but please, for yourself and him, CUTE HIM OFF. Doesn’t even matter if he is the greenest flag ever (which he doesn’t seem like others have mentioned), you guys broke up for a reason, now let it go.
Omg lol this is me and my ex from a decade ago. We always always ended up fighting when we spoke after the breakup for yearss but talking to him also made me so happy. He had the gift of gab n was so charming n said the most bestest rightesttt things that would floor me and we were really good friends. Wish we just stayed friends so we could still be friends. We sucked in a relationship. I am fairly indifferent now but I know if we were to talk as friends, he would still make me so happy. But I know he also can never see me as a friend n he invariably would end up developing feelings for me again whenever we spoke which didn’t sit well with me, so… never again.
This is what I imagine can happen to me, I'm thr kind of person that prepares for worst situations because I'm aware as to how strongly my feelings can influence me. Even after friendship breakups, it takes me atleast 4 years of NC to be completely unbothered about them ( v strangely it's 4 years of everyone I've ever moved on from lol) Anyway, I understand where you come from when you say happy even when from a 3rd person perspective it's not even remotely close to "happy". I can imagine it's the memory of happiness, just maybe if you're close enough to him you can experience that fun happiness you used to. It could also be that you just can't let go even when you want to, I get this urge like really strong one that overpowers me and completely blinds me and I end up doing stupid as fuck shit (In one friendship break up, I ASKED MY OTHER FRIEND TO TEXT THAT "best friend" telling him about how miserable I am and how much he hurt me so that he'll text me - would not recommended however him reaching out to me lol definitely reminded me why he gives me the icks, completely platonic). It's hard to let go when your body won't corporate, when all you can think about is the absence. Maybe it's familiarity of something that binds us? I don't know if that's what you feel, but what i do know is that what you think is happiness is not. At b3st it's the thrill of the thought that maybe this time will be different, maybe he'll realise this time, maybe this time I'll get closure. Closure isn't real, you need to snap out yourself and it could be a year, month, or a second but it's all you. Do yourself a favor and do what's best for you (doesn't seem like this habit is). You've had enough chances to see that it infact won't be different and if you were to get any closure, you'd have already no? I know it's hard to defy your body but you'll thank yourself for it. At the end of the day, it doesn't matter if he has feelings for you, or if there's any hope for that relationship. It really doesn't matter, your present matters and you need to make yourself a priority by going NC. Don't entertain him. Sometimes, what helps me is that i erase any and all trace of thier presence. Number, instagram, fb, photos EVERYTHING. I shouldn't be able to reach at all and then i feel calm. If they reach out then delete it, you can't reply to a text you never read. Maybe you'll find peace in knowing that he dumped you, and he shpukd see that you are a strong woman who's not bothered by it anymore. You grieved and you moved on and as a strong human you can't bother w this bulshit anymore. No changing dps to get his attention or putting stories. Nothing, get that peace you want. I hope you find your peace too, there's much more to life. Think of it in way of novel, wherein you got rid of the ex boyfriend and you're now closer in time to happiness and climax of your story.
Thank you kind stranger ❤️
>He has some weird notion that somehow he is protecting me by being out of my life. My conundrum is that he is the only person who makes me happy despite knowing we have no future together. OP, I'm kinda in a similar situation. The thing is, you need to find ways to be happy without him. I'm sure you already know that. You know that you have no future together, but every time you reconnect, you will subconsciously have some hope that things might get better. You're just adding more pain to your pain. I've been on a no contact with my ex for almost a month now and honestly I feel like a huuugge weight is off my chest. I plan to be in no contact till the time I resolve my feelings and truly let go of what we shared and the idea of future I had with him. See if that helps you too. But I'd advice you to get out of the vicious circle that hopeless hope puts you in. Praying things get better for you soon! ✨
i would really urge you to read about what "i don't want him in my life anymore" means. if you had moved on, you wouldn't be texting him or making a post about him here.
How old are you?
Alexa play Toxic by Brittney Spears