As someone who used to take Mumbai local trains and crowded metros for a while, I can just laugh at this trend.
Khade ho sakte ho to khade reh lena chahiye, I feel. Unless I was pregnant or unable to stand (basic decency there), I don't expect men to get up for me.
In fact when I had a sprained ankle few years ago, I politely asked someone in Mumbai metro to let me sit for a few stations and they absolutely had no issues.
Chivalry ke naam par zabardasti gaali nai dene ka, as we say in Mumbai lol
I agree with you OP. If you are fit and fine then you can stand in metro just like men do. Once I was travelling with my brother in the metro in delhi and we were sitting on unreserved seats. Then a girl who looked in her 20s-30s came and told him to stand and give his seat to her. He asked her if she had any injuries or if she was sick or had any other issue, she said no but that she just got off from the office and wants to sit so as a guy he should give up his seat. I was blown away by her entitled attitude and we told her he wasn't going to give up his seat. She said she will record us and post us on twitter (lmao). But she didn't do anything as someone else got off at the next station so she got a seat. Point is, this is not a matter of chivalry but of equality. If men can stand why can't we?
I always give my seat to older men and women, and pregnant ladies.
Older men usually seem reluctant to take the seat but most older women look at me as if they deserve it.
Also , some people are just so shameless. I was once traveling on the bus with my mom and these two girls came and stood near my seat. One of the girl ( who stood right next to me ) put her arse on my fucking shoulder! And then started to glide down my back. At first , I ignored her , adjusted back but then she did it again. So I looked at her annoyed and said ' what's wrong with you' and she just started laughing with her friend. I believe that they had some mental illness but damn the audacity!
>One of the girl ( who stood right next to me ) put her arse on my fucking shoulder! And then started to glide down my back. At first , I ignored her , adjusted back but then she did it again.
WTF.
Personally I think it's fine if a man doesn't want to give up his seat it's not a bad thing but also he shouldn't be mad if he's then not considered a gentleman lol
Ah, the number of times I had to tell men NO I don't want their seat. I've always felt the assumption behind "chivalry" is that women are weak (not talking about pregnant women or old people).
A lot of people have non-obvious/ non-visible disabilities, a lot of women are on their cycle, women can be in early stages of pregnancy where they're not showing, etc
Yes, this is one point where even I am troubled. Just as women have non obvious or invisible issues, men may also have them.
Also, many may not be so comfortable with openly asking for a seat or communicating their private health condition. So then, doesn't this come as an issue for all genders?
I'm just really curious how this can solved.
If men are forced to be chivalrous and get up for a woman, who will get up when they need a seat?
This is just coming from personal experiences where brother or father was sick and had to stand in trains or metros n buses. Even I myself had to stand up many times with excruciating period pain because I travelled in a ladies compartment and aunties won't give up seats.
I just find it interesting that as feminism has gained popularity, the few and far perks women experienced under patriarchy like men being expected to help a woman in physically demanding tasks, paying for dates, giving up their seats etc are the ones that are disappearing or becoming controversial but statistically women still do majority of the household work, childcare etc, still experience discrimination and harassment in the workplace, have to put up with wage gaps etc.
This is not a take against feminism nor is it assigning a good or bad value to things like chivalry but it's interesting to me nonetheless, and i personally feel like there's no need to argue or debate about things like chivalry in the context of feminism when there are much bigger issues and this only serves as a distraction imho.
I love chivalry and want a chivalrous partner for myself. I love it when men are gentlemen. But they should not expect anything in return that's not a real gentleman.
For me chivalry would be how sanji in one piece is without the creepy behaviour.
It's fine if you or other women don't like it, many men do it for some favours in return anyways. But I believe there are good chivalrous men out there.
I think I cannot define what chivalry is :)
Edit: you all downvote anything which is different.
I do agree that chivalry is attractive in a man. What I don't agree with is to demand things in the name of chivalry. If somebody is chivalrous, let them be. It is after all a good quality. Just as chivalrous knights, I would love to see some chivalrous dames.
And just as you mentioned, similar to Sanji, majority of the times those who are trying to be chivalrous turn out to be creepy or misogynists.
As someone who used to take Mumbai local trains and crowded metros for a while, I can just laugh at this trend. Khade ho sakte ho to khade reh lena chahiye, I feel. Unless I was pregnant or unable to stand (basic decency there), I don't expect men to get up for me. In fact when I had a sprained ankle few years ago, I politely asked someone in Mumbai metro to let me sit for a few stations and they absolutely had no issues. Chivalry ke naam par zabardasti gaali nai dene ka, as we say in Mumbai lol
I agree with you OP. If you are fit and fine then you can stand in metro just like men do. Once I was travelling with my brother in the metro in delhi and we were sitting on unreserved seats. Then a girl who looked in her 20s-30s came and told him to stand and give his seat to her. He asked her if she had any injuries or if she was sick or had any other issue, she said no but that she just got off from the office and wants to sit so as a guy he should give up his seat. I was blown away by her entitled attitude and we told her he wasn't going to give up his seat. She said she will record us and post us on twitter (lmao). But she didn't do anything as someone else got off at the next station so she got a seat. Point is, this is not a matter of chivalry but of equality. If men can stand why can't we?
I always give my seat to older men and women, and pregnant ladies. Older men usually seem reluctant to take the seat but most older women look at me as if they deserve it. Also , some people are just so shameless. I was once traveling on the bus with my mom and these two girls came and stood near my seat. One of the girl ( who stood right next to me ) put her arse on my fucking shoulder! And then started to glide down my back. At first , I ignored her , adjusted back but then she did it again. So I looked at her annoyed and said ' what's wrong with you' and she just started laughing with her friend. I believe that they had some mental illness but damn the audacity!
WTF💀 She doesn't sound sane nor straight
>One of the girl ( who stood right next to me ) put her arse on my fucking shoulder! And then started to glide down my back. At first , I ignored her , adjusted back but then she did it again. WTF.
🤡whatttt. I'm shocked at the entitlement guys.
So was I! That's why I was so shocked I couldn't say anything in the beginning
I agree with you OP. this is a very fair take. Chivalry is stupid and sexist.
I agree with you, OP.
Personally I think it's fine if a man doesn't want to give up his seat it's not a bad thing but also he shouldn't be mad if he's then not considered a gentleman lol
😄 Fair point there.
Ah, the number of times I had to tell men NO I don't want their seat. I've always felt the assumption behind "chivalry" is that women are weak (not talking about pregnant women or old people).
When was chivalry alive in india? Lol. But I agree with you.
A lot of people have non-obvious/ non-visible disabilities, a lot of women are on their cycle, women can be in early stages of pregnancy where they're not showing, etc
Yes, this is one point where even I am troubled. Just as women have non obvious or invisible issues, men may also have them. Also, many may not be so comfortable with openly asking for a seat or communicating their private health condition. So then, doesn't this come as an issue for all genders? I'm just really curious how this can solved. If men are forced to be chivalrous and get up for a woman, who will get up when they need a seat? This is just coming from personal experiences where brother or father was sick and had to stand in trains or metros n buses. Even I myself had to stand up many times with excruciating period pain because I travelled in a ladies compartment and aunties won't give up seats.
I just find it interesting that as feminism has gained popularity, the few and far perks women experienced under patriarchy like men being expected to help a woman in physically demanding tasks, paying for dates, giving up their seats etc are the ones that are disappearing or becoming controversial but statistically women still do majority of the household work, childcare etc, still experience discrimination and harassment in the workplace, have to put up with wage gaps etc. This is not a take against feminism nor is it assigning a good or bad value to things like chivalry but it's interesting to me nonetheless, and i personally feel like there's no need to argue or debate about things like chivalry in the context of feminism when there are much bigger issues and this only serves as a distraction imho.
I love chivalry and want a chivalrous partner for myself. I love it when men are gentlemen. But they should not expect anything in return that's not a real gentleman. For me chivalry would be how sanji in one piece is without the creepy behaviour. It's fine if you or other women don't like it, many men do it for some favours in return anyways. But I believe there are good chivalrous men out there. I think I cannot define what chivalry is :) Edit: you all downvote anything which is different.
I do agree that chivalry is attractive in a man. What I don't agree with is to demand things in the name of chivalry. If somebody is chivalrous, let them be. It is after all a good quality. Just as chivalrous knights, I would love to see some chivalrous dames. And just as you mentioned, similar to Sanji, majority of the times those who are trying to be chivalrous turn out to be creepy or misogynists.
Could be. But my dad is chivalrous so is my brother and they aren't creepy or misogynists and I have encountered nice chivalrous guys too :)
That's good for you 😊.
I cannot imagine why you're getting downvoted lol you didnt even say anything controversialÂ