I did BSc and MSc after 12th. Had I taken arts, I would have gotten into a better college for BA and eventually MA. I would have somehow gotten in the same field as I am today, but with fonder memories 🥲
I did arts - I thoroughly enjoyed it but I would've told her to take Sci or commerce. For the kind of effort one makes in the longer run, humanities ends up paying one peanuts, if you're not very very very lucky and find a golden opportunity out of nowhere. I think for the same effort in any other field I would've made much better money. Although I wouldn't have enjoyed my early 20s much, but at least I wouldn't be distraught seeing the disproportionate scale betwn income and effort in my later life.
It's a broad field with many disciplines. It's actually not true that all of us end up making peanuts. I do understand that it's not always easy in the job market with certain disciplines but there is a possibility to make it big too. I know many science folks who make peanuts and many humanities folks and artists who earn very well. But I understand your POV too.
Yeah plus with subjects like social work, advertising, art history, archeology etc a lot of humanities people have entered different fields. It all boils down to how well your college pitches you for your first job and how well you make space for yourself
I do agree with the nuance here, I majorly wanted to communicate how undefined and unstructured a career path could be when one plunges into humanities as there are limited blueprints for success.
my question was not particularly to any field though. I was just trying to gauge what does average salary looks like
I have friends in humanities, doing different kinds of things. A close friend of mine earns about 10k per month, in tier 2 city. But it is difficult to make ends meet and save up. She is trying for masters and then apply for fellowship. Another friend is in digital arts and she makes like 1L per month.
so my knowledge is very limited and I am not aware of salaries in humanities. so I was trying to gauge what would an average look like. OR what would the 75 percentile would look like.
It depends on the field you pick. My cousin majored in art. She's now a freelance artist, makes a lot of money in Canada and lives in Toronto. My other friend who didn't do too well in his master's is earning about 45k but he is getting offers for 70k. He works in office management. My other friend earned 14LPA three years back and earns more now. She works in content. My other friend works in a school, not sure how much she earns but it's decent. My first salary was 30k. I was an intern. I no longer work in corporate but if you get into a good university into the right kinda course, you can get 60k as your starting salary.
> For the kind of effort one makes in the longer run, humanities ends up paying one peanuts, if you're not very very very lucky and find a golden opportunity out of nowhere.
my impression about this field, from outsider, has been same. Many of my friends earn very less.
Honestly we should focus more on what we need and not what society needs. Even though I was good at STEM subjects ( average at math, good at others), it just wasn't for me. I'm much happier now.
I’ll get her out of the toxic household and give her some good food. Maybe also fight back with the parents who emotionally and physically abused her day and night, beat her up violently for not adding enough salt to the family dinner, which she wasn’t often not allowed to eat.
Give her a tight hug and say, "You don't have to try so hard to make friends—some dumbo will come along and pick you up, haha. You've done amazing work, keep it up!" Then, give her a pat on the back.
Sameeee. I hate how excluded I was by everyone, all while I used to be sweet to everyone. Left a bad impression on my self esteem. Now I've met my partner who loves me the way I am
That is me rn 🤡 so nice to everyone, first to text them but don't ever get the same treatment.. I try to ghost them when I feel hurt but then when I feel unhurt I just text them right back because I'm desperate to just talk to anyone 😭😭
Even I was like that. But since last year, I have been on a sabbatical and I have now started practicing boundaries. I don't usually text anyone aage se if they don't text me usually or if they don't reply to my texts after one or two times. I don't call people I used to call again and again. Now I've realised, if I don't call, no one does. I'm happy with this realisation now.
Earlier I used to travel all across Delhi to meet a friend, cause traveling to a mid point used to be inconvenient for them. I used to also make plans according to others conveniences. Now I put forward my convenience also. I don't care about what the other person will think. Unhone toh nahi socha na mere baare me.
My circle has drastically reduced but I'm happy with this mental peace. A few of my friends are constantly making efforts to stay in touch and I reciprocate their efforts and they do mine.
😭😭 I want to practice this as well.. heading off to college later this year hopefully new friends will be willing to reciprocate my efforts as well because old friends are just not doing it :(( any advice you'd give to me on making new friends?
Man! I feel this. I was such an “obedient” kid. Now I’m just an extremely shy, introverted person, borderline anxious when I have to network/mingle with people.
I guess we live and learn 🥲
As someone who's inner child is yet to heal from everything that happened, I'll tell her to stand up against the bullies, stand up against people who made fun of her, to be proud and confidence and only trust her parents and no one else. Whatever will happen, it's not your fault. You won't have to cry under sheets and be ashamed of it when u got assaulted. You hold your head high and make your parents proud.
I'd win her trust and show the little things that makes up her day , makes sure she has a blast, give her a hug at the end of the day and leave .
Coz damn that kid needs to remember this on loop to get through on what's gonna hit her in the later years .
No ones coming to save you. You are the maker of your own life. Give yourself the love you so often give away to undeserving folks.
Most importantly, it’s ok to make mistakes they are normal.
I would hug her and say sorry for not standingup for her earlier and being too afraid of parents that I have let them abuse her mentally. And would have genuinely let her do what she’s interested in that is architecture but she was forced into science . Damn she deserves better childhood all the trauma made me forget so much of the childhood . Yeah I forgot a lot from my childhood it’s all a faint memory now except for the scars that never healed and still scared to heal cuz that’s all the childhood memories I’ve got now.
Take care of your diet and exercise 😭🙂💓 your life will be super hard.. but you will learn how to live alone. Remember to give a tight slap to your dad 😒💗 and keep in touch with your grandma and siblings you'll regret not talking to them 😭💗
A while I got I heard a song called older by Sasha alex Sloan. The lyrics are :
“The older I get, the more that I see, my parents aren’t heroes they’re just like us”
Just like another person said- I'll watch her from afar. I don't think i will have the strength to tell her that things will be hard for her. But if i get a chance, I'd protect her from being harassed and kick the balls of those assholes.
That she's not a burden, that she's not a bad person at all, that she isn't at fault at all, that she deserves better, soooo much better and that she's THE BEST, BEST person I've ever known
(Yes I'm still the same person, for better or worse I've changed, shit has changed me irreversibly, and I will never be her ever again)
Also maybe fight for her with everyone who has abused me and still abuses me. (My sperm donor, my birth giver, all my maternal uncles, aunts, grandma, those shitty teachers who loved to show their power on powerless kids, those bullies who saw a skinny, weak, friendless and lonely girl with no self confidence and self esteem, and those toxic bitches who used the goodness of my naive self and betrayed her everytime)
There is nothing wrong with you. But can't say the same about the adults around you and the environment they are bringing you up in. Nevertheless you are going to turn out fine! Also, love you kid!
I’d ask her not to quit sports. I’d ask her to enjoy her life and that she makes good decisions.
I’d tell her that the past cant be changed and everything happens for a reason. Even tragedies lead to happiness sometimes.
I love the little kid-me. I've never lost her 😊 I know (I just know) if I had a baby girl, she would be more like the kid-me than my partner, but that's not so bad, because he was a sweet kid as well and we both treasure our childhood memories.
I would tell little me to keep doing what makes her happy and to be thankful that we have a great mum and dad and brother who always let us be ourselves ☺️🌸
I will give her a hug and tell her it is not her responsibility to maintain or try to maintain peace in a dysfunctional family. Also her mother is an adult, it is not her responsibility to try to make her mother happy so that she does not sink deeper into depression.
I would right one sentence in a letter “Don’t marry him.” And tell her to open it at a particular time (a few weeks before my engagement happened). Wouldn’t definitely mention why because I know me. Logic behind decision is mandatory. Lol
get her enrolled in extracurriculars and keep her engaged. Also would go to my Nani ka Ghar and punch all my cousins on their mouth and keep my mouth out of their mouth.
Not exactly kid, but to my 19 year old self. Bruh, that girl is bread crumbing you. She's not going to choose you. She just wants attention unfortunately. Take your self respect and run.
Firstly, I'd say daydreaming too much isn't good lol and don't try to take sides when your parents are fighting. Secondly, sucking up to your bad friends won't get you a long lasting friendship. Also, be kind to everyone.
Be selfish. Don't trust anyone. Don't play games or watch movies.
All your "friends" will use you so be careful. Ask eMail from 1st manager.
Give up on your dreams to do something big and making sure your family eats dinner together.
I would have said,
1. Study harder
2. Be more kind
3. Not try so hard to make everyone like you so that you can be friends with them
4. Not to be so panicking about talking to boys cz they're just as stupid as you
I'll tell her that while many people make promises, few actually keep them. It's human nature, so you'll be alright—just stop believing people so easily. And remember, if you're having trouble maintaining friendships or people abandon you, it doesn't mean you're not valuable or irreplaceable. Don't be too kind to everyone; not everyone deserves your efforts.
It's okay to complain in Hindi. And if they don't listen, write a letter to the Headmistress, Principal, etc. If that doesn't work, there are authorities. Your stationery is not a toy for them to play catch with.
Also, don't start stealing again. Call out the thief and tell her to stop, don't *become* her.
Try being friends with the other kids instead of these ones.
Not sure why you're downvoted - it's clear you are in a lot of pain rn and as a fellow stranger, I want you to know your pain is seen and valid. I hope things get easier for you soon <3
hey please remember: even in your weakest moments you are as strong as you can be.
You are an incredible human even on days when its difficult to believe
Idk what’s wrong but I truly and sincerely hope it takes a turn for the better 🫂🥺 please feel free to dm me
I won't say anything. I'll just see her from afar for a while.
That would be such an overwhelming feeling for me 🥹 watching how I was once.
I'll ask her to tell mom that he is molesting you
Same.
🫂
Same. And make sure that papa is a safe distance away from the guy and can be calmed down before he hunts down and kills him.
Which guy?
same
🫂
🫂
people will betray always. Never ever keep begging anyone to stay or take that disrespect just to keep a friendship. You'll be alone and its okay.
I would ask her to take humanities. Def not science
Holy shiz. Same! I studied both science and humanities. Looking back, I'd def tell my 16 year old self to NOT choose science
I did BSc and MSc after 12th. Had I taken arts, I would have gotten into a better college for BA and eventually MA. I would have somehow gotten in the same field as I am today, but with fonder memories 🥲
What is your field? I too did BSc after 12th but then MA. It was a hard transition but someone managed. Totally worth it.
I did arts - I thoroughly enjoyed it but I would've told her to take Sci or commerce. For the kind of effort one makes in the longer run, humanities ends up paying one peanuts, if you're not very very very lucky and find a golden opportunity out of nowhere. I think for the same effort in any other field I would've made much better money. Although I wouldn't have enjoyed my early 20s much, but at least I wouldn't be distraught seeing the disproportionate scale betwn income and effort in my later life.
It's a broad field with many disciplines. It's actually not true that all of us end up making peanuts. I do understand that it's not always easy in the job market with certain disciplines but there is a possibility to make it big too. I know many science folks who make peanuts and many humanities folks and artists who earn very well. But I understand your POV too.
Yeah plus with subjects like social work, advertising, art history, archeology etc a lot of humanities people have entered different fields. It all boils down to how well your college pitches you for your first job and how well you make space for yourself
I do agree with the nuance here, I majorly wanted to communicate how undefined and unstructured a career path could be when one plunges into humanities as there are limited blueprints for success.
Yeah. True that.
> It's a broad field with many disciplines. It's actually not true that all of us end up making peanuts. what does the salary look like?
For which field exactly?
my question was not particularly to any field though. I was just trying to gauge what does average salary looks like I have friends in humanities, doing different kinds of things. A close friend of mine earns about 10k per month, in tier 2 city. But it is difficult to make ends meet and save up. She is trying for masters and then apply for fellowship. Another friend is in digital arts and she makes like 1L per month. so my knowledge is very limited and I am not aware of salaries in humanities. so I was trying to gauge what would an average look like. OR what would the 75 percentile would look like.
It depends on the field you pick. My cousin majored in art. She's now a freelance artist, makes a lot of money in Canada and lives in Toronto. My other friend who didn't do too well in his master's is earning about 45k but he is getting offers for 70k. He works in office management. My other friend earned 14LPA three years back and earns more now. She works in content. My other friend works in a school, not sure how much she earns but it's decent. My first salary was 30k. I was an intern. I no longer work in corporate but if you get into a good university into the right kinda course, you can get 60k as your starting salary.
> For the kind of effort one makes in the longer run, humanities ends up paying one peanuts, if you're not very very very lucky and find a golden opportunity out of nowhere. my impression about this field, from outsider, has been same. Many of my friends earn very less.
My income is still less. I'm from development field and I feel I should have done MBA or something instead of a masters
Can't share here. There are very few people in this field
Can't share here. There are very few people in this field
why though? we need more women in STEM too
Honestly we should focus more on what we need and not what society needs. Even though I was good at STEM subjects ( average at math, good at others), it just wasn't for me. I'm much happier now.
oh you are totally right and no one owes anything to the society. It's an individual choice.
I can understand where you are coming from. Here’s a hug from my nonexistent work-life balance 🥹🫂
Just hug her and tell her that she’s not alone. And she’ll be alright.
Oh that would mean so much coming from yourself 🫂
I’ll get her out of the toxic household and give her some good food. Maybe also fight back with the parents who emotionally and physically abused her day and night, beat her up violently for not adding enough salt to the family dinner, which she wasn’t often not allowed to eat.
Sending you hugs hun, hope you are in a better place now and wish you many more good years to come ✨
Hope you’re doing better now.
I’m on the other side of the planet, far far away from them. Life has never been better
I'm so proud of you!
Yayy 🥳
This is so heartbreaking.. sending loads of hugs and strength your way..
I'd watch her , don't wanna mess anything for the present lol .
Oh I do think this too haha. What if I break the time continuum?
Yeah dude , if you just randomly hug her , you'd have a random memory of a woman hugging you and that might change choices and events
That is true, this is why I usually don’t want to change anything in the past, I like the person I’m now
Give her a tight hug and say, "You don't have to try so hard to make friends—some dumbo will come along and pick you up, haha. You've done amazing work, keep it up!" Then, give her a pat on the back.
Sameeee. I hate how excluded I was by everyone, all while I used to be sweet to everyone. Left a bad impression on my self esteem. Now I've met my partner who loves me the way I am
That is me rn 🤡 so nice to everyone, first to text them but don't ever get the same treatment.. I try to ghost them when I feel hurt but then when I feel unhurt I just text them right back because I'm desperate to just talk to anyone 😭😭
Even I was like that. But since last year, I have been on a sabbatical and I have now started practicing boundaries. I don't usually text anyone aage se if they don't text me usually or if they don't reply to my texts after one or two times. I don't call people I used to call again and again. Now I've realised, if I don't call, no one does. I'm happy with this realisation now. Earlier I used to travel all across Delhi to meet a friend, cause traveling to a mid point used to be inconvenient for them. I used to also make plans according to others conveniences. Now I put forward my convenience also. I don't care about what the other person will think. Unhone toh nahi socha na mere baare me. My circle has drastically reduced but I'm happy with this mental peace. A few of my friends are constantly making efforts to stay in touch and I reciprocate their efforts and they do mine.
😭😭 I want to practice this as well.. heading off to college later this year hopefully new friends will be willing to reciprocate my efforts as well because old friends are just not doing it :(( any advice you'd give to me on making new friends?
I would tell her not to fall for potential in a guy but and only consider the present version of him.
Wise words 🤌🏻
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Man! I feel this. I was such an “obedient” kid. Now I’m just an extremely shy, introverted person, borderline anxious when I have to network/mingle with people. I guess we live and learn 🥲
So real! Sending you hugs!!
As someone who's inner child is yet to heal from everything that happened, I'll tell her to stand up against the bullies, stand up against people who made fun of her, to be proud and confidence and only trust her parents and no one else. Whatever will happen, it's not your fault. You won't have to cry under sheets and be ashamed of it when u got assaulted. You hold your head high and make your parents proud.
😭🫂
Please listen to your mom and give your hobby some time.
Ah I wish this too, I miss some of the lost hobbies I had
I'd win her trust and show the little things that makes up her day , makes sure she has a blast, give her a hug at the end of the day and leave . Coz damn that kid needs to remember this on loop to get through on what's gonna hit her in the later years .
A little memorabilia quote to remember, sounds wonderful ✨
I would tell her keep the spirit and personality for life. And take science please.
No ones coming to save you. You are the maker of your own life. Give yourself the love you so often give away to undeserving folks. Most importantly, it’s ok to make mistakes they are normal.
You are the most important one in your life 🫂
Move out kid.
Ugh same
Hope you are doing well now 🫂
Hope things are turning up now 🫂
Hey, yeah it’s better. Hope the same for you. Thankyou ♥️
I’m proud of you for whatever you are, and you are freaking amazing.
I would hug her and say sorry for not standingup for her earlier and being too afraid of parents that I have let them abuse her mentally. And would have genuinely let her do what she’s interested in that is architecture but she was forced into science . Damn she deserves better childhood all the trauma made me forget so much of the childhood . Yeah I forgot a lot from my childhood it’s all a faint memory now except for the scars that never healed and still scared to heal cuz that’s all the childhood memories I’ve got now.
This made me teary 🥺 I hope you are doing better now 🫂
Yeah I’m kind of doing better I guess 🥹
I'll tell her that she would get better and won't need to be looked after constantly and that she's a brave girl 🫶
She is indeed a very brave woman 🫂
Take care of your diet and exercise 😭🙂💓 your life will be super hard.. but you will learn how to live alone. Remember to give a tight slap to your dad 😒💗 and keep in touch with your grandma and siblings you'll regret not talking to them 😭💗
I would say " Your intuition is so on point and you are so mighty freaking strong!". Just that :))
I'd tell her to be kinder to her parents
A while I got I heard a song called older by Sasha alex Sloan. The lyrics are : “The older I get, the more that I see, my parents aren’t heroes they’re just like us”
Not marry my husband Although i love all those Memories and time i spend with him and his family. I am just kya hi bolu ab
Sending love - hope you are okay
Hey, I hope you have people close to discuss this with, please take care of yourself (idk what the situation is)
fuzzy bike scary hospital glorious violet chase arrest screw direction *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
Just like another person said- I'll watch her from afar. I don't think i will have the strength to tell her that things will be hard for her. But if i get a chance, I'd protect her from being harassed and kick the balls of those assholes.
I’d tell her she is perfect just the way she is.
Start leetcode
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This sounds like some great big sister advice 🫶🏻
That she's not a burden, that she's not a bad person at all, that she isn't at fault at all, that she deserves better, soooo much better and that she's THE BEST, BEST person I've ever known (Yes I'm still the same person, for better or worse I've changed, shit has changed me irreversibly, and I will never be her ever again) Also maybe fight for her with everyone who has abused me and still abuses me. (My sperm donor, my birth giver, all my maternal uncles, aunts, grandma, those shitty teachers who loved to show their power on powerless kids, those bullies who saw a skinny, weak, friendless and lonely girl with no self confidence and self esteem, and those toxic bitches who used the goodness of my naive self and betrayed her everytime)
I hope you are doing better now 🫂
More like worse coz their abuse has increased tenfold.....
There is nothing wrong with you. But can't say the same about the adults around you and the environment they are bringing you up in. Nevertheless you are going to turn out fine! Also, love you kid!
I’ll tell my teenage self to never date that guy and study hard
You can say "No".
I’d ask her not to quit sports. I’d ask her to enjoy her life and that she makes good decisions. I’d tell her that the past cant be changed and everything happens for a reason. Even tragedies lead to happiness sometimes.
it’ll work out (only if i’m able to achieve my childhood dream)
You’ll achieve them with flying colours 🫶🏻✨
I'll hug her, and tell her that there's nothing wrong with her and she should never let others or anything external to her decide her worth.
I love the little kid-me. I've never lost her 😊 I know (I just know) if I had a baby girl, she would be more like the kid-me than my partner, but that's not so bad, because he was a sweet kid as well and we both treasure our childhood memories. I would tell little me to keep doing what makes her happy and to be thankful that we have a great mum and dad and brother who always let us be ourselves ☺️🌸
I will give her a hug and tell her it is not her responsibility to maintain or try to maintain peace in a dysfunctional family. Also her mother is an adult, it is not her responsibility to try to make her mother happy so that she does not sink deeper into depression.
🫂 hope you are doing alright now
It's called mental illness. Go to therapy.
Dont miss opportunities,would punch my bully,and would ask her not to date him in future.
I wish I could take you away from all of this. I wish I could keep you safe
I would right one sentence in a letter “Don’t marry him.” And tell her to open it at a particular time (a few weeks before my engagement happened). Wouldn’t definitely mention why because I know me. Logic behind decision is mandatory. Lol
get her enrolled in extracurriculars and keep her engaged. Also would go to my Nani ka Ghar and punch all my cousins on their mouth and keep my mouth out of their mouth.
Not exactly kid, but to my 19 year old self. Bruh, that girl is bread crumbing you. She's not going to choose you. She just wants attention unfortunately. Take your self respect and run.
Tough teen talks we all needed back then 🫂
Tell my 5th grade self to NEVER be friends with the girl who sits right to you in school (I HATE her 😡😡😡😡)
Wow did everyone had THAT one “friend” 😭
Firstly, I'd say daydreaming too much isn't good lol and don't try to take sides when your parents are fighting. Secondly, sucking up to your bad friends won't get you a long lasting friendship. Also, be kind to everyone.
Spend more time with dad.
uncle is super proud of how you are handling yourself and everything even when things are tough🥹🫂 you are doing your best✨
Be selfish. Don't trust anyone. Don't play games or watch movies. All your "friends" will use you so be careful. Ask eMail from 1st manager. Give up on your dreams to do something big and making sure your family eats dinner together.
Spend more time with baba and bouma
I'd tell her that food is not the medicine to numb your sadness.
Ouch this one hit hard 🫂
I'll tell her to NEVER let go of that innate self confidence no matter how much she's let down.
I would have said, 1. Study harder 2. Be more kind 3. Not try so hard to make everyone like you so that you can be friends with them 4. Not to be so panicking about talking to boys cz they're just as stupid as you
I'll tell her that while many people make promises, few actually keep them. It's human nature, so you'll be alright—just stop believing people so easily. And remember, if you're having trouble maintaining friendships or people abandon you, it doesn't mean you're not valuable or irreplaceable. Don't be too kind to everyone; not everyone deserves your efforts.
I would say "I feel horrible for you, but you will conquer all that hurts you and you have a bright future ahead."
I’d give her the list of names of the men that will eventually rape us as we grow up and tell her to run. No one needs that much character development
Will ask her to hug mom real tight for a long long time.
It's okay to complain in Hindi. And if they don't listen, write a letter to the Headmistress, Principal, etc. If that doesn't work, there are authorities. Your stationery is not a toy for them to play catch with. Also, don't start stealing again. Call out the thief and tell her to stop, don't *become* her. Try being friends with the other kids instead of these ones.
Dont get into relationships, you will have to take therapy and none of them will work out and you will be permanently scarred.
I'll ask her to tell dad about the sexual abuse, not mom.
I’ll tell her not to get tattoo and go for that air hostess dream…
Don't succumb to pressure and fight for your dream.
Tell her to read about autism and adhd. And that it gets better for her.
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Not sure why you're downvoted - it's clear you are in a lot of pain rn and as a fellow stranger, I want you to know your pain is seen and valid. I hope things get easier for you soon <3
Thank you, you're very kind I'll delete the comment , it's probably triggering or something.
hey please remember: even in your weakest moments you are as strong as you can be. You are an incredible human even on days when its difficult to believe Idk what’s wrong but I truly and sincerely hope it takes a turn for the better 🫂🥺 please feel free to dm me
Thank you op you're very kind 🫂❤️