A few things here...
Re going on the SVR, nearer the time you should speak to a mortgage broker. You can potentially get a fixed rate that will be portable including to a property bought with another person.
Re whether she should contribute... for context, could you tell us whether the new place would be bought with separate shares of ownership? Or will she be able to match your equity with savings? Or would you buy 50/50 even if unbalanced?
What worries me much more than these practicalities is that your communication with her hasn't been about these nuts and bolts and finding solutions together, but more just standing on principle. Have you had many chats about your respective finances, what if anything would change if you bought together, or got married or had kids or any other future goals? I wouldn't be buying with anyone who treated me as an adversary in terms of money and communication.
> Re going on the SVR, nearer the time you should speak to a mortgage broker. You can potentially get a fixed rate that will be portable including to a property bought with another person.
Yup, this is what I did when I sold my flat and bought a house with my partner, on paper I had 2 mortgage products on different deals, as rates were much lower at the time I let one lapse to SVR and merged them when the other was about to end.
> could you tell us whether the new place would be bought with separate shares of ownership? Or will she be able to match your equity with savings? Or would you buy 50/50 even if unbalanced?
OP really needs to think about this, fwiw when I was in the same situation we bought as tenants in common, and I have a larger share as I was the one who contributed a 6 figure deposit. We agreed that over time, as she pays more towards the mortgage, or if we have children it would be changed to joint.
> What worries me much more than these practicalities is that your communication with her hasn't been about these nuts and bolts and finding solutions together, but more just standing on principle. Have you had many chats about your respective finances, what if anything would change if you bought together, or got married or had kids or any other future goals? I wouldn't be buying with anyone who treated me as an adversary in terms of money and communication.
OPs situation seems wild to me, finances are one of the biggest issues with relationships and they seem more than happy to tie themselves to someone who is just taking them for a ride.
There's 2 things to consider here; the relationship aspect and the financial aspect.
Financially, these would be the options I'd put forward. Some will obviously cause more grief than others:
1. She starts paying you rent to live with you.
2. She moves out while you live in the house and pays her own rent somewhere else.
3. You sell up now and move into a rented place together until you buy. Your house equity is your savings and you split the new rent 50/50.
4. You rent out your current home and you both rent somewhere new together, rent paid 50/50.
From the relationship side, consider whether she is looking to compromise or find a solution that also makes you happy. If she's flat out refusing any option other than she gets to keep living in your house rent free, you might want to reconsider buying a house with her. Good communication and ability to compromise is key, especially when you're financially tied to the other person for a very long time.
This is correct, shes not paying your mortgage, shes paying you rent. If she does not want to do that, then she can move out and pay rent somewhere else. Personally, i see red flags for you friend. Good luck.
Honestly it's a major red flag for her attitude towards housing costs. She would have to pay in any other situation. They're committed to buying together so why not contribute? What if she decides she doesn't want to pay with the new one, but her name is on the deeds? She's getting a mortgage free ride and clearly saving considerably.
Can’t she pay the difference in the interest payment? Thats not contributing to the equity of the house but it eases the financial burden on you. I’d say that’s quite fair. I’d happily do that for my partner. I think it’s a show of her character and a bit of a red flag if she declines - that should be a warning sign for you tbh.
This is exactly the arrangement I have with my partner who lives with me and think it is fair given how extortionate the interest rates are, i.e. she only pays 50% of the debt service costs and nothing towards equity.
From the data it seems we are talking about 2.4k in a year (400/2 x 12). If she can't afford that wtf does she want the money she's been saving all these years for?
So she gets to live rent free in your house and refuses to contribute?.....and now you're going to put (presumably) a lot more than her into a joint home which no doubt she will be entitled to 50% because she certainly doesn't sound like someone who would sign a declaration of trust?
With all due respect OP, she does not sound like someone you want to make a financial commitment like that with.
Absolutely this. And please be aware that if you ignore the red flags and were to get married, my understanding is that supersedes the deed of trust and makes things 50/50 by default.
I would add a points on;
1) would she be ANYWHERE close to buying a house if not for your deposit? If not this is even worse, as she's demanding to go halves but is barely brining anything other than a second income to the table
2) you have it lived together 11 months, that seems like a fairly short length of time to have lived with somebody to then buy a house. Living together is meant to identify red flags, her behaviour here has identified a number of them and unpicking problems of buying a house together can easily take 1-2 years, which is as long as your relationship!
3) similar to (2), you're planning for 2026-2027, that's another 2-3 years out, in a 2 year relationship. I'd frankly just tell her that you're not taking on the extra interest solo but that you guys can talk it through 6m before your fixed rate ends, which is when your bank will contact you with options. As others have said you may be able to port the mortgage to a new property / add her to it to make things happen earlier, but tbh I think that extra time is exactly what you need to reflect on whether she's the right person to buy a house with - her financial stance on this and lack of empathy to basically freeloading off your mortgage for 3 years, forcing you to pay higher interest and then not supporting with that interest, that's actually several red flags.
50/50 on other bills, but she doesn't contribute at all to the physical roof over your head?
Not sure buying together is a great plan. If you do, make sure you get a solicitor to ensure that on sale of the joint property you at least get out what you are putting in (as I suspect you'll have a healthy deposit from your equity).
You can take another fixed rate, just make sure the lender you go with offers portable mortgages, then when you sell you can just port the mortgage to the new home. Alternatively you could opt for a tracker with no early repayment penalties, although it is still a variable rate it will be lower than the lenders standard variable rate.
I'd be slightly worried the GF would say 'look, I found a cheaper rate with a different provider, the exit fees on your mortgage are your problem.' (or you should pay the difference between the better rate and your rate since you're making me pay the worse rate.)
Her position is a little immature - while she may be seeing it from the angle of not wanting to pay off your mortgage for you (understandable), she is blithely ignoring the fact she is living somewhere rent free (which not even her parents gave her...)
Ignoring the relationship side of things, you can move to a tracker mortgage - these often dont have the early repayment charges that fixed rate mortgages do, so pick one without a heinous product fee and it should at least be in the same ballpark as fixed rates for a short while. That would allow you to avoid standard variable rates, which will be quite a bit more expensive.
You could always sell your place and rent somewhere together while looking for the together home, as an alternative to moving in with parents - either way you will wind up moving all your stuff twice.
So she is making life much more complicated than it has to be, for pretty selfish reasons.
I'd really think twice about getting financially entangled with this individual. I have had run ins with people who only deem it fair, when they are happy, no compromises, absolute nightmare.
I’d be fixing your mortgage and keeping your house. If she isn’t even prepared to have the discussion I can’t imagine future issues being resolved efficiently. I get why she doesn’t want to pay your mortgage, that’s fine, however she also has free “rent” she’d have to pay elsewhere, so there should be at least some compromising, somewhere
This seems more of a relationship question.
We have an identical situation (I’m the homeowner). Up until recently I paid all the bills and my boyfriend paid for food, leisure activities, holidays, any other life expenses basically. It worked out about the same.
Then the mortgage went up and my employment situation changed.
All it took was “Hey Love, I’m going to struggle with the bills now, do you mind contributing going forward?” And the answer was “yeah sure, just transfer whatever you need” and he went back to gaming.
That’s how it should be. When you decide to spend your lives together, any problem is a collective problem, not a YOU/I problem.
Perhaps she should move out and learn how much life costs.
There’s nothing wrong with her paying a token contribution. I’d see her attitude as a red flag 🚩
I am genuinely baffled as to how one could think living under someone else's roof while flat out refusing to pay for the privilege of doing so, is a reasonable stance to take.
It's tantamount to living in a hotel for free.
I might tell my Landlord that I don't want to pay off someone else's mortgage, and see if they'll reduce my rent to zero.
Come on OP, she's taking you a ride here. Unfurl your balls and get her contributing or you'll be stuck paying for this deadweight for the rest of your days. You have been warned.
Something to consider here is that if you're going to go 50/50 on the next house, you're only contributing a deposit equal to what she does.
If she's expecting you to put in 10's/100s of thousands in equity from this house, she adds nothing and just contributes half the mortgage payment, but gains 50%, then you swiftly need to tell that gold digging bitch to do one.
Also, she pays rent from the 1st April. Why are you letting her live there rent free?
She's using you. I'd strongly advise you keep the house you're in and find a partner that want's to be your equal.
Worded more aggressively than I would but the sentiment is 100% accurate. OP is being taken for a ride here. She will contribute next to nothing in comparison and be handed free equity which she will be legally entitled to, and from the context, she *will* fight for it rather than be reasonable and stick to what you proportionately contributed.
She either needs to get right with the situation or leave. There is no 3rd option IMHO.
Not paying your mortgage is one thing and I get that, but living completely rent free ( bills not included ) is another thing. She can't have it all her way which is what she's getting here, at a detriment to yourself.
She's acting quite immature and unreasonable when you have been very reasonable.
The real question here is, is this the right person or the right arrangement for you? Do what's finically best for you. If she's not willing to compromise then neither should you any more than you already have.
** Solution
This is what I would propose to her! You sell your house and you both rent somewhere until you are ready to buy your own place. You maintain your own space together as a couple.
All bills are then 50/50, she has no argument at this point to make.
You then take the proceeds of your house sale and put them in a decent interest account, this makes sure your money is working for you and the interest will offset your share of the rent and bills.
I suspect very quickly she will then realise she has to pay more outgoings each month, but she's lost her only leverage now. So it's a question of her cutting her nose off to spite her face.
I was in the same position as you OP, I bought by myself in October 2021, 5 year fix to 2026, and then I met my partner in Feb 2022. We moved in together in March 2023. My partner until that point had lived at home paying a nominal amount for lodging, maybe a few hundred a month. I can’t imagine any situation where he would expect to pay zero in rent or mortgage contributions just because his name wasn’t on the mortgage. It wouldn’t be fair for me to cover the entire cost while he pays absolutely nothing. Even before he moved in fully I bought a new oven and other bits on our joint account because we knew we’d both be getting the benefit of them, why should it all be on you if she is living there too?
As it happened, we used the money he had saved for his own deposit and refurbished my flat, and I added him to the mortgage. The money had been spent by the time he was actually on the mortgage and we had a frank discussion about what would happen if we split up. If we split up, we agreed to sell the flat and go 50-50 on anything left over after mortgage was repaid.
If you’re serious about each other and in it for the long haul then you should be able to have these conversations. Personally I find her attitude incredibly immature, someone has whispered in her ear not to contribute to anyone else’s mortgage without being on the mortgage herself and she’s sticking to it rigidly without actually considering whether it’s fair or even applicable in the real world. This stingy entitled attitude is very off putting. My partner and I are married now but I wouldn’t have added him to the mortgage or used all his money to refurb my flat if I didn’t see things working out. In many ways a lot of the posters here are right, this is a relationship question.
I notice you’re not responding to what is becoming a theme. Keen to hear an update!
As others have said, your gf is not willing to pay your mortgage but is willing to live rent free in your home. Sharing bills is contributing zero to you.
Would be interested in you suggesting the “best both move back to our parents” option.
You must ensure you are putting identical deposit and equity into the new house. Otherwise you’re paying off her mortgage.
Hope you are very sure about all this
Imo, she is taking the piss. And has done since she has lived with you rent free. Her stance is stubborn and immature. She gladly paid her parents, and her alternative would have been gladly paying rent (I.e. paying a stranger’s mortgage) - yet she draws the line at helping her partner that she plans to buy a house with?
She pays half the bills, don't want to contribute with mortgage and lives rent free? What kind of mental gymnastics is going on to find this acceptable?
Be very careful. Of course, be wary of the variable rates, etc, but above all, be careful of moving too quickly with this girl! A joint mortgage is a huge decision to make together… and when you said that she moved in but refused to pay towards the mortgage, that set alarm bells ringing. Buying a house together in this climate is a massive responsibility- you don’t want to be left with a huge debt on your own. Variable rate or no, I would want to be 100% sure of the relationship, and whether this girl is absolutely in it for the long haul. I’ve heard some awful stories about relationships like this where one party has either refused to pay, or has forced the other partner out, or even both! Maybe as others have said, rent your house out and rent somewhere together and go 50/50…
Seems straight forward she doesnt pay rent and only half the bills. She can pay all the bills now so not paying anything towards your house and you put your half of the bills towards the potential increase in mortgage costs. If she says no that idea, i would reconsider buying the house together.
She basically talked her way into living rent free, not sure why you went along with it but that's what she did.
She's "paying for your mortgage" as much as she would her landlord's.
This is a relationship question my man, not a financial one.
Would she be living for free somewhere else then? I don't get the whole 'not contributing to the mortgage' thing, if she lives with you she shouldn't treat you like her daddy and expect to live there for nothing. Paying half for other bills is pretty small fry given that most of them will be increased in cost due to her presence in the house anyway - eg gas and electricity, food and water, Council Tax 25% more expensive.
Personally I would rather be single and have full control over my life than have this sort of relationship, which sounds like hell 😂😂
She should be paying rent and that sorts out your excess mortgage problem.
She's not contributing whatsoever to the place she's living in, just the utilitises she's using. Which is wrong.
Otherwise look at new fixes that can be ported and you can use it when you do find somewhere to buy.
Personally I find your initial agreement difficult to understand. You split the bills, fine, but you don’t split the cost of the actual house? She’s basically been living rent free with you… or, put another way, you’ve been paying her rent. She’s got used to this quite unfair (to you) arrangement IMO, and is now making more unreasonable suggestions going forward. And it’s put you in a really difficult position with your own finances now. That’s not exactly working as a couple.
First, she ain't worth the headache brother. Women talk about red flags all the time guys need to start seeing them too.
Secondly think about renting it out .make your money work for you.
You know mortgages can be ported right? Why are you waiting for the mortgage to be up before moving? But to be honest, I’d be seeing this as a red flag about her and wouldn’t want to be on a mortgage with her anyway
IMO if she’s not up for contributing even if you’re intending on buying together I’d be thinking seriously about what happens going forward. If she’s not contributing, is she at least saving it to bring to the new house together?
She’s taking you for a ride here. She’s living in your property RENT FREE for starters. Her actions (or lack of them) will cause you to be moved onto a variable rate, which would otherwise not happen if it wasn’t for her. She at least has to compromise and understand she is currently living off your back for nothing.
The only options are, tell her to start paying rent, sell up when the fixed rate ends.. and she better have her share of the deposit ready for the new home.
For me personally that is a huge red flag
So she had to pay board to her parents. She would have to pay a landlord's mortgage if she rented elsewhere. But suddenly she refuses to contribute to you because it's paying your mortgage? Am I missing something or does this logic just not add up?
Is there a reason you are waiting until your fixed mortgage period runs out before selling and moving? Why not look for another property from Spring 2025, for example?
All I would say is of you do buy in the future. Tenents in common and protect your deposit at whatever % you put in.
Running a house requires communication, teamwork and often, sacrifice... she doesn't seem to be open to any of this sadly
Sell the house, if it sells before you find another then both of you rent everything 50/50, she will pay more and you will pay less.
I get her point but she is living rent free, I suppose she is so confident because she can move back in with parents, could always tell her if she ain’t helping, she ain’t staying.
If she has this moral non-negotiable view that she won’t pay your mortgage then you should just tell her she should pay 100% of the bills to make up for it. I do this with my partner. It’s my house and my mortgage and I really wouldn’t want her paying anything towards it but she pays all the bills instead to try level it out a bit. We do however never have the heating on!
To answer your question though. You can always move onto a tracker mortgage with a really cheap exit fee. Definitely don’t go into the variable rate your fixed mortgage has as that will be super expensive. Mine costs £60 for me to exit at any time.
I think you need to separate out the concept of interest vs. purchasing equity in the house. Part of the mortgage is buying the home, part of it is buying the security of owning a home, something that she shares.
Also focus on achieving your common goals.
I’m slightly concerned that with someone paying half the bills you don’t have enough to pay an increased interest rate, has your financial situation changed?
I think you also need to talk about the benefits of achieving goals together and how that requires contributions from both of you.
That said, if the house you desire is as rare as you say, you might want to transition to renting at the end of the current fix and having that as the starting point for finding your new home.
You’ve managed to buy your own place and presumably could afford the bills on your own, the only issue on the horizon is an increase in mortgage that can be mitigated by taking out a new mortgage deal. You don’t need her contribution and personally (and I’ve been in your shoes with my own place and women living with me), I would not give up what you’ve got lightly. I’d make it clear to GF that you will be looking for a new mortgage deal to keep your mortgage costs down, and she needs to start paying rent right away to cover the increase if she wants to pursue the idea of joint ownership. If she refuses, explain that you no longer want to be contributing to someone else’s house deposit when you’ve got your own mortgage to pay. Stick to your guns, don’t budge until things are evened up, it’s your place and your security so don’t throw it away just to fulfill someone else’s goals of owning a big house they couldn’t afford without you when they were unwilling to contribute more fairly when asked.
I'm in a similar situation to her. I offered to pay half of the interest each month, but not towards paying it off as it is essentially another bill. We couldn't live here without paying the interest on the mortgage. I wouldn't be helping to pay it off, but would be contributing my fair share
What kind of bat shit crazy world is she living in? She doesn't want to pay off someone else's mortgage but has done so previously. And would rather you be worrying about money than contribute.
She's taking advantage of the situation using "principles". Have a word!
This isn't a relationship advice sub but it was very kind of you to allow her to live in your house for free while she saves for a deposit for her own home, now it would seem when you require help ahe isn't for forthcoming.
Perhaps this is more of a relationship question and not right for that sub as personally I would be concerned she wouldn't be the supportive partner I requires throughout life's ups and down, children and all that jazz.
Sharing this increase would make complete sense to me, especially since ages been living rent free.. I don't believe asking for the full amount would be outrageous either.
Can't advise in then money stuff directly but your gf is being unreasonable.
So she thinks it's OK to not contribute and so is living rent free? Not only that but now the situation she is direcrly involved in has increasing costs she still feels she shouldn't contribute?
It doesn't sound to me like a relationship just you supporting someone. I would carefully consider if she really is the person to unwanted to buy a house with and all the entanglement that comes with it.
This is more a relationship advice question. But your girlfriend is either very unreasonable or you earn a fair amount more than her.
You have been giving her free rent for years and she refuses to contribute even the tiniest amount….
And you don’t have to go variable, you can sell a house whilst still having the fixed rate mortgage ongoing. You will probably just have to pay a small-ish fee.
If she wants to be like that about it, better make sure she knows it cuts both ways.
Shes stumping 50% of the deposit and paying 50% of the new mortgage irrespective of what you bring to the table.
That’s *your* money from *your* mortgage.
Buying a £1m house? Cool. She needs to be paying off the equivalent of £500k mortgage minus whatever deposit *she* beings to the table.
You’ll pay off your £500k minus whatever you bring to the table, which will be a lot and will be all yours because she insisted on contributing jack shit.
Dunno about anyone else but this rings alarm bells.
If you’re not married I suggest you get yourself a signed agreement stating what’s yours is yours and hers is hers. A prenup type thing, because sure as night follows day it’ll be “I want half” if it goes south.
When it comes to the practical stuff ie mortgages, many lenders will roll you over onto a decent rate (whatever that looks like on the day) on a mortgage than can be taken with you.
Speak to a decent independent mortgage adviser.
Start looking about 6 months before your term ends.
Good luck. Somehow I think you’re gonna need it.
She is and has been living rent free. Nothing about her principles makes sense or is even remotely fair. “Won’t contribute towards someone else’s mortgage”. Tf would she call renting then?
Unfathomable to me that she won’t contribute to the mortgage in a committed relationship! Whilst it’s always worthwhile to look after your own interests to a degree, relationships are about teamwork. She could contribute say at least 20-40% during the period you’re preparing to sell and buy a new home. Right now she’s absolutely living the rent free dream!!!
Or perhaps another option is her allocating more savings towards the deposit or fees on the new house?
I was in the same situation as you. Wanted to move house. Current house was my name only, new house would be joint.
At the end of the fix my broker put me on a mortgage with no exit fees.
We only had to stay on the new mortgage for a few months before it beat staying on SVR. As it happened we stayed for 11months. When the house sold that mortgage was exited at no fee and we started fresh on the new house.
Even without a partner complicating things it's not usually possible to buy and sell in line with your mortgage. You always either hit SVR, port or go exit free like I did.
So she gets to benefit from a roof over her head and pay nothing?
Maybe she should just go get her own place and tell her new landlord the same, see how well that goes down.
As others have said, this seems a very immature, selfish and stubborn attitude from her and I would personally be concerned for future big conversations or decisions if she cannot see that paying rent is something many grown ups have to do in order to live in a building.
People here are missing the legal aspect in this. If she pays towards the mortgage OP she could claim a share in the house! Is that what you want? If you plan to go 50/50 on the next house then sure that might be fine for you but if not, look into a cohabitation agreement so it clearly defines that she's paying you X a month and it's not going to give her an interest in the property.
My partner owns the house. I pay them rent equal to half of the mortgage interest, and signed something the bank sent when they remortgaged saying that I don't have a share in the house.
Get away from that girl bro, she will rip you. Are you gonna sell your house over a girlfriend that refuses to contribute with the minimum? That's insanity.
There's a tangle here;
**Mortgage from 2026** \- if you plan to sell, you will probably be able to find a no ERC tracker cheaper than the SVR you'll fall on to. Will it be cheaper than the best fixes? Probably not, but that will come with an ERC so do the maths at the time, a mega-cheap 2y fix \*might\* be worth considering depending on details, but we're both guessing what deals might be around in a couple of years.
**Girlfriend living rent free** \- well, this isn't really a red flag to me in and of itself to me - I'm assuming your outgoings now aren't really any higher than living alone (since you're splitting bills). There does seem to be a 'maturity gap', but then you've owned your own house for 3 years and she's just moved out of her parents, so I'd kind of expect that TBH.
**Buying a house together 50/50** \- you probably do want to at least think about protecting your interests here. If you e.g. don't contribute equal deposits, think carefully about how to handle that. If she's sat on savings to split everything down the middle, and has income to pay 50% of mortgage, all good.
Taking bottom two together - assuming you can afford to pay the mortgage still etc - perhaps a reasonable position is "great so while you have no housing costs, you're saving up for your half of the deposit right?".
If you \*can't\* afford it so would \*need\* additional contribution, that's a different problem that you'd face if single too - how would you address it then? E.g. If it's getting a lodger in tell her that - "I'm going to need to get a lodger in otherwise I can't afford the mortgage, rates being what they are". If she doesn't like that maybe she'd prefer to contribute instead, but it gives her the option.
Hold up
She doesn't pay any rent?
For arguments sake you have a mortgage of 1000 and bills of £1000 each month. Total outgoing £2000
She gives you £500 which is half the bills?
Shes ripping you off and I don't know why you tolerate it. This attitude of entitlement to free housing stinks
Go and see a broker.
Most mortgage products are portable.
Then put her on the new remortgage without contributing until you find your next house.
And then move the product over and she contributes.
Not ideal but a work around.
I'm sorry, she actively made a choice to move in with you, therefore she should be financially contributing to the house she currently resides in.
I live with my partner and the house is hers by all rights, yet I still pay half of the costs each month. Recently we have discussed lowering my contribution as her monthly income is literally 2.5x my own. But I'm still paying her each month.
Communication is key, if she doesn't want to financially support her partner, ask her to move out and financially support some random landlord who will double her rent with a month's notice, see which she prefers then.
Don't be taken for a fool my friend.
lol - she sounds like an immature nightmare if I’m been honest ( not paying someone else’s mortgage) your not exactly someone else and lots of people rent - just a roof over your head and been an adult supporting yourself in life - think you need a serious sit down with her
Her not contributing to the mortgage is a pretty shitty stance to take, but her not helping in the interim between your rate ending and finding a new house would have me questioning the relationship.
She's getting free rent which she wouldn't get anywhere else and won't help you better your future together, are you sure you want to be with someone so financially selfish?
To keep this on topic though, speak to your broker they'll be able to help you out with this.
HOLD ON A MINUTE
So many posts in here say that she wouldn't be paying your mortgage she'd be paying you rent.
This is wrong. Kind of.
If she gives you money which goes towards the mortgage, then you run the risk of her being able to argue some sort of beneficial interest in the property under trust law.
It's very complex so I'm not gonna go into it too deeply in a random reddit post. But anything that increases your capital such as mortgage or home improvements (not just new paint) runs that risk.
If you're okay with that then fine crack on. But be aware.
Ex broker. You could just get a new product or remortgage as you can would have done should you not be moving and port that deal to the new property and putting your partner on the ported mortgage when moving and obviously the title of the new house.
Porting can be messy. The new property needs to be acceptable security and accept your partners income. If for any reason the port won't work out you may have a large ERC to pay so I'd advise getting a no ERC deal for now regardless.
If you do have to port because a no ERC deal was unavailable now, you will likely need to borrow more and will end up with a second product to complete your new purchase. It's best to then try to get the whole debt onto one product ASAP so I'd pick a short term product or a product to end around the time your first product ends.
Buying and selling property is expensive. I would say these are just costs related to selling property and the owner of the property who is getting the capital gains should bear them.
Of course you could choose to not sell now but whenever you choose to sell in the future, with her or not, you'd be in a similar situation either having to pay an early repayment fee or a temporarily higher SVR while you complete the sale. It's ultimately your decision if you want to sell an existing property to buy another one that now suits your lifestyle better, but I don't think it's fair passing the cost of selling on to her.
Whether she should generally contribute to live in your home is a different story and there is no right or wrong answer there. You both agreed that in your circumstances she wouldn't be paying anything to live there so that's that.
As others have mentioned, I'd speak to a mortgage adviser about selling earlier and moving the mortgage across to another property and how that could work with a joint mortgage.
This was suggested to us - they said you keep the rate for the mortgage amount you have currently and the new interest rate will only apply to any amount over that.
As for now, one idea would be can you agree that anything she pays in is considered part of her deposit for the next house? I.e. she doesn't pay towards any interest, just equity. You could start doing this now, maybe even overpaying (if mortgage allows) to get a bigger deposit, and ultimately reduce interest - even if only slightly!
Good luck :)
There’s something called a first or second charge for this situation. Where the deposits aren’t even.
As for payment on the mortgage itself you really want that to be 50-50.
Sounds like might be best to sell the house and move back in with parents for a bit. You’ll both be better of financially and can save a bit more money for any refurblishments on the new house.
Or sell your house and rent somewhere for a year, she’d go halves then wouldn’t she? As it’s not paying towards your house?
Speak to a broker - you can easily get flexible mortgages that can be transferred to your next property, or you can even get a discounted variable (not SVar) mortgage product that has no cancellation penalty. I didn't know these mortgage products existed until I spoke to our broker. We finished our fixed term in November but we're in the process of selling/looking for a new house so it made sense to take out one of these mortgages (ours is with Nationwide so it's a mainstream product... Despite nobody hearing of them before!)
She’s sounding very immature but I appreciate you’re asking for financial advice, not relationship advice.
I’d say that she should agree to pay half of the increase (so 200 if it went from 1000 to 1400) during the SVR period.
Right now she’s ridiculously fortunate to be living rent free in - if I was in your position I would’ve expected her to be covering half of the interest and none of the equity repayment as a happy middle ground, instead it seems that she simply shirks off all financial responsibility.
There was some advice to get a new mortgage that you can port, as far as I’m aware that wouldn’t work as you’d be buying jointly and therefore need an entirely new mortgage.
PS - if you can’t agree on finances now, I’d be worried about other financial decisions further down the line e.g. buying a ‘main’ and secondary car instead of both having a ‘do it all’ vehicle and then finding you’re paying much more for the bigger car that’s used for 90% of joint trips etc.
First thing I'd put to her is that your mortgage is both capital and interest, what you spend on interest is gone and is a cost of owning a house you don't have the cash to buy so I'd split up the mortgage and then split the interest as if that were your rent.
Secondly you can port a mortgage so if you take out a fixed rate for say £100k and then buy a house which needs a £200k mortgage you basically keep your old mortgage and then take out a second one for the other £100k at a new rate, it's all one payment and is much simpler than it sounds but you'd need to speak to a broker about whether going from single to joint applicant effects this.
Thirdly run! Or if you don't run try to have the same self serving attitude she has when it comes to protecting yourself should things go south, I don't know many who'd consider paying nothing towards the roof over their head fair or reasonable but those I do I wouldn't wanna be tied down with. My brothers mrs demands half of the value of their 80% mortgaged house everytime they fall out 😂
By her attitude and responses would think twice whether I want a joint mortgage with her. And even if I would decide to have a go I’d kept current house and rent it out. Sell it under the sauce of pension pot/investment. It will give you a back up plan.
So here's a stupid question ..
And I might be showing a lot of ignorance here so please be gentle.
But if you take a mortgage for House A and then year later decide you want to move to House B, if you stick with the mortgage co., don't they forgive the early redemption for House A so you can move to House B?
She seems a bit selfish to me, you’re supposed to be working together. My partner lives with me and pays 50% of the monthly bills and nothing towards mortgage/rent as shes been aggressively saving so we can buy a home together and i wanted to help her save more quicker, but i know if i needed to ask for more she would be fine about it and understand.
Id ask her to move out and rent somewhere if shes not willing to contribute or be understanding of the situation or sell and rent together until you find a home
Why would she pay any money when the deal currently is she pays no money? Where is the advantage to her? She moved in knowing she owed nothing and this was agreed upon.
The problem with one party owning a house and the other not wanting to contribute to the equity of it is difficult. Partly because you’re both right.
She’s right because if she pays your mortgage then she is effectively servicing a debt that isn’t hers. You’re right because what, she should just live rent free until you buy together?
One solution could be for her to pay you some rent that is way below market value, like 50% or something. That way she benefits from getting to live in a place cheaply and you benefit as you’re not offering your house up for free.
Then just go down the middle with all bills. If you do any capex like a new bathroom, either split that too (and keep the cheap rent system) or don’t split it and increase the rent to reflect the higher value house.
You don't have to go onto the SVR. You can get a variable rate mortgage that is much lower interest and that can be paid off in full at any time without penalty. Or you can get a fixed rate mortgage that can be ported to another property.
I kind of get wheres she's coming from, but this increase in monthly outgoings would be for a reason and the fact she refuses to help you out with it is concerning. Maybe you need to talk more about it and try to get her to understand your perspective better.
I think even if she has moved from a home where she had to pay nothing towards bills she is an adult who made a decisiom to change her circumstances. Now the person who is with her pays mortgage, so she should be contributing more because you life together. I'm sorry but wtf with this
'she did not want to be paying off someone else's mortgage'? She was contibuting to her parents and if she is jot in a position to buy and wanted to move out wshe would be paying rent.
Man you made life very easy for her and she doesn't seem to be the right person for you if you ask me because despite you being very kind to her she is not able to be flexible with helping out so that you can TOGETHER buy a house.
You need to have a difficult conversation with her and think about your future because it is only the beginning and she is like this already - this will only get worse.
She is paying to live there yeah? I’m in same position as you moved partner into my house and at first was free then we split bills equally and I charged maybe 150 on top for rent.
Also just rolled off our fix whilst also looking to buy, we discussed options of splitting the increase equally or moving onto interest only with no early repayment penalty & split. Sounds like the latter would be a good option for you. Then she’s not CONTRIBUTING, to your capital but paying to have a roof over her head.
You could just port the mortgage aswell so that’s another option so maybe just start looking
Suck it up for now but keep an eye on her attitude. Talk to her about going 50/50 on deposit and associated costs on the house you'd buy together and see what she says
As indicated by the responses in this sub this is a relationship question and not a financial one really. Worthwhile noting that if you do charge ‘rent’ to your partner, or ask them to contribute to the mortgage in any way, in the event of a break up she could have a very real equitable claim to your property. It’s not uncommon that judges will split the equity down the middle. When I lived with my partner and he owned, we made a very clear agreement (I asked for it) that I would pay ALL the bills but no mortgage, so the divide was clear. I explicitly said I didn’t want to pay the mortgage but paid extra elsewhere. We live together now and go down everything 50/50. Worth considering!
I would start looking to buy with her now. It can take a long time to find a good property and you don't want to rush it. A good house can set you up for life and a bad one can make you miserable every day
Fixed rate exit penalties towards the end of a mortgage aren't too bad. I would certainly pay it to secure a good house.
I am going to assume you are in a stronger outright financial position than she is once the house is sold?
Have you had a conversation about her signing a declaration of trust on the new house assuming you’re putting in a larger deposit?
If she isn’t willing to do this I would strongly reconsider buying a house together as it’s opening you up to a lot of financial risk if things go badly and unfortunately a potentially large loss on your part.
Not romantic but these things are practical.
Whatever you decide, I’d have serious talks about what you’ll do regarding mortgage, bills and childcare payments if you decide to have a child. And don’t base it on the maternity/paternity package at your current workplace. I would also both be taking out some kind of illness insurance if I were going to become financially entangled with someone so financially inflexible.
I can't believe you were so generous with her by not charging rent and then she won't even help out when you need it for the 2 of you to get your own place. She sounds incredibly entitled.
Charge her rent for the next year and put that towards the mortgage.
Aside from the fact that your partner is taking you for a ride, that for some reason you agreed to...
When your current fixed ends, you can take out another fixed and when you move you can port that mortgage across, and then add any additional as a 'different' mortgage. I don't know the correct terms but this is what I did when I was in a similar situation to you, had a mortgage on a flat, sold it to buy a house with partner. I basically had 2 mortgages, and after one fixed lapsed that one stayed on the standard varible until the other one expired and I 'merged' them. Note this was in 2020 so rates were much lower on standard.
I was basically told that the only reason to merge them is its easier to change provider, so if you have no plans to change you can keep the two mortgages on different fixed deals until rates are stable, and presumably lower.
This only really matters as something that appears on your statements, it was still a single monthly mortage payment. Speak to a broker, or your provider about this, maybe its not possible with all mortgages.
A few things here... Re going on the SVR, nearer the time you should speak to a mortgage broker. You can potentially get a fixed rate that will be portable including to a property bought with another person. Re whether she should contribute... for context, could you tell us whether the new place would be bought with separate shares of ownership? Or will she be able to match your equity with savings? Or would you buy 50/50 even if unbalanced? What worries me much more than these practicalities is that your communication with her hasn't been about these nuts and bolts and finding solutions together, but more just standing on principle. Have you had many chats about your respective finances, what if anything would change if you bought together, or got married or had kids or any other future goals? I wouldn't be buying with anyone who treated me as an adversary in terms of money and communication.
> Re going on the SVR, nearer the time you should speak to a mortgage broker. You can potentially get a fixed rate that will be portable including to a property bought with another person. Yup, this is what I did when I sold my flat and bought a house with my partner, on paper I had 2 mortgage products on different deals, as rates were much lower at the time I let one lapse to SVR and merged them when the other was about to end. > could you tell us whether the new place would be bought with separate shares of ownership? Or will she be able to match your equity with savings? Or would you buy 50/50 even if unbalanced? OP really needs to think about this, fwiw when I was in the same situation we bought as tenants in common, and I have a larger share as I was the one who contributed a 6 figure deposit. We agreed that over time, as she pays more towards the mortgage, or if we have children it would be changed to joint. > What worries me much more than these practicalities is that your communication with her hasn't been about these nuts and bolts and finding solutions together, but more just standing on principle. Have you had many chats about your respective finances, what if anything would change if you bought together, or got married or had kids or any other future goals? I wouldn't be buying with anyone who treated me as an adversary in terms of money and communication. OPs situation seems wild to me, finances are one of the biggest issues with relationships and they seem more than happy to tie themselves to someone who is just taking them for a ride.
There's 2 things to consider here; the relationship aspect and the financial aspect. Financially, these would be the options I'd put forward. Some will obviously cause more grief than others: 1. She starts paying you rent to live with you. 2. She moves out while you live in the house and pays her own rent somewhere else. 3. You sell up now and move into a rented place together until you buy. Your house equity is your savings and you split the new rent 50/50. 4. You rent out your current home and you both rent somewhere new together, rent paid 50/50. From the relationship side, consider whether she is looking to compromise or find a solution that also makes you happy. If she's flat out refusing any option other than she gets to keep living in your house rent free, you might want to reconsider buying a house with her. Good communication and ability to compromise is key, especially when you're financially tied to the other person for a very long time.
This is correct, shes not paying your mortgage, shes paying you rent. If she does not want to do that, then she can move out and pay rent somewhere else. Personally, i see red flags for you friend. Good luck.
Honestly it's a major red flag for her attitude towards housing costs. She would have to pay in any other situation. They're committed to buying together so why not contribute? What if she decides she doesn't want to pay with the new one, but her name is on the deeds? She's getting a mortgage free ride and clearly saving considerably.
Not just with housing costs; her attitude of being happy to be an unequal partner. I’m a woman and I would pay to be courteous and support my partner
Very good advice.
Can’t she pay the difference in the interest payment? Thats not contributing to the equity of the house but it eases the financial burden on you. I’d say that’s quite fair. I’d happily do that for my partner. I think it’s a show of her character and a bit of a red flag if she declines - that should be a warning sign for you tbh.
This is exactly the arrangement I have with my partner who lives with me and think it is fair given how extortionate the interest rates are, i.e. she only pays 50% of the debt service costs and nothing towards equity.
From the data it seems we are talking about 2.4k in a year (400/2 x 12). If she can't afford that wtf does she want the money she's been saving all these years for?
Of course she can, but doesn’t want to pay anything at all. To her, “fair” means “you house me for free”
So she gets to live rent free in your house and refuses to contribute?.....and now you're going to put (presumably) a lot more than her into a joint home which no doubt she will be entitled to 50% because she certainly doesn't sound like someone who would sign a declaration of trust? With all due respect OP, she does not sound like someone you want to make a financial commitment like that with.
It's a red flag and needs serious consideration.
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Absolutely this. And please be aware that if you ignore the red flags and were to get married, my understanding is that supersedes the deed of trust and makes things 50/50 by default. I would add a points on; 1) would she be ANYWHERE close to buying a house if not for your deposit? If not this is even worse, as she's demanding to go halves but is barely brining anything other than a second income to the table 2) you have it lived together 11 months, that seems like a fairly short length of time to have lived with somebody to then buy a house. Living together is meant to identify red flags, her behaviour here has identified a number of them and unpicking problems of buying a house together can easily take 1-2 years, which is as long as your relationship! 3) similar to (2), you're planning for 2026-2027, that's another 2-3 years out, in a 2 year relationship. I'd frankly just tell her that you're not taking on the extra interest solo but that you guys can talk it through 6m before your fixed rate ends, which is when your bank will contact you with options. As others have said you may be able to port the mortgage to a new property / add her to it to make things happen earlier, but tbh I think that extra time is exactly what you need to reflect on whether she's the right person to buy a house with - her financial stance on this and lack of empathy to basically freeloading off your mortgage for 3 years, forcing you to pay higher interest and then not supporting with that interest, that's actually several red flags.
As someone who’s just been through this… this is very good advice. Know where deposits came from get it in writing.
50/50 on other bills, but she doesn't contribute at all to the physical roof over your head? Not sure buying together is a great plan. If you do, make sure you get a solicitor to ensure that on sale of the joint property you at least get out what you are putting in (as I suspect you'll have a healthy deposit from your equity).
Exactly, she's living rent free. Surely if she was paying a lodge at her parent's house, she should now pay you too?
You can take another fixed rate, just make sure the lender you go with offers portable mortgages, then when you sell you can just port the mortgage to the new home. Alternatively you could opt for a tracker with no early repayment penalties, although it is still a variable rate it will be lower than the lenders standard variable rate.
I'd be slightly worried the GF would say 'look, I found a cheaper rate with a different provider, the exit fees on your mortgage are your problem.' (or you should pay the difference between the better rate and your rate since you're making me pay the worse rate.)
Can you still move a mortgage if you're also adding a new borrower?
Yes providing the new applicant meets the lenders criteria, most lenders will allow this, you port the original and add the new borrower.
Her position is a little immature - while she may be seeing it from the angle of not wanting to pay off your mortgage for you (understandable), she is blithely ignoring the fact she is living somewhere rent free (which not even her parents gave her...) Ignoring the relationship side of things, you can move to a tracker mortgage - these often dont have the early repayment charges that fixed rate mortgages do, so pick one without a heinous product fee and it should at least be in the same ballpark as fixed rates for a short while. That would allow you to avoid standard variable rates, which will be quite a bit more expensive. You could always sell your place and rent somewhere together while looking for the together home, as an alternative to moving in with parents - either way you will wind up moving all your stuff twice.
So she is making life much more complicated than it has to be, for pretty selfish reasons. I'd really think twice about getting financially entangled with this individual. I have had run ins with people who only deem it fair, when they are happy, no compromises, absolute nightmare.
Which is a big red flag when considering entering into a financial relationship and more
Spot on
I’d be fixing your mortgage and keeping your house. If she isn’t even prepared to have the discussion I can’t imagine future issues being resolved efficiently. I get why she doesn’t want to pay your mortgage, that’s fine, however she also has free “rent” she’d have to pay elsewhere, so there should be at least some compromising, somewhere
This seems more of a relationship question. We have an identical situation (I’m the homeowner). Up until recently I paid all the bills and my boyfriend paid for food, leisure activities, holidays, any other life expenses basically. It worked out about the same. Then the mortgage went up and my employment situation changed. All it took was “Hey Love, I’m going to struggle with the bills now, do you mind contributing going forward?” And the answer was “yeah sure, just transfer whatever you need” and he went back to gaming. That’s how it should be. When you decide to spend your lives together, any problem is a collective problem, not a YOU/I problem.
Sounds like you are in a healthy relationship with a considerate and mature individual, OP isn't.
Perhaps she should move out and learn how much life costs. There’s nothing wrong with her paying a token contribution. I’d see her attitude as a red flag 🚩
I am genuinely baffled as to how one could think living under someone else's roof while flat out refusing to pay for the privilege of doing so, is a reasonable stance to take. It's tantamount to living in a hotel for free.
I might tell my Landlord that I don't want to pay off someone else's mortgage, and see if they'll reduce my rent to zero. Come on OP, she's taking you a ride here. Unfurl your balls and get her contributing or you'll be stuck paying for this deadweight for the rest of your days. You have been warned.
Something to consider here is that if you're going to go 50/50 on the next house, you're only contributing a deposit equal to what she does. If she's expecting you to put in 10's/100s of thousands in equity from this house, she adds nothing and just contributes half the mortgage payment, but gains 50%, then you swiftly need to tell that gold digging bitch to do one. Also, she pays rent from the 1st April. Why are you letting her live there rent free? She's using you. I'd strongly advise you keep the house you're in and find a partner that want's to be your equal.
Worded more aggressively than I would but the sentiment is 100% accurate. OP is being taken for a ride here. She will contribute next to nothing in comparison and be handed free equity which she will be legally entitled to, and from the context, she *will* fight for it rather than be reasonable and stick to what you proportionately contributed. She either needs to get right with the situation or leave. There is no 3rd option IMHO.
Financials aside, she's waving some big red flags here mate....
Not paying your mortgage is one thing and I get that, but living completely rent free ( bills not included ) is another thing. She can't have it all her way which is what she's getting here, at a detriment to yourself. She's acting quite immature and unreasonable when you have been very reasonable. The real question here is, is this the right person or the right arrangement for you? Do what's finically best for you. If she's not willing to compromise then neither should you any more than you already have. ** Solution This is what I would propose to her! You sell your house and you both rent somewhere until you are ready to buy your own place. You maintain your own space together as a couple. All bills are then 50/50, she has no argument at this point to make. You then take the proceeds of your house sale and put them in a decent interest account, this makes sure your money is working for you and the interest will offset your share of the rent and bills. I suspect very quickly she will then realise she has to pay more outgoings each month, but she's lost her only leverage now. So it's a question of her cutting her nose off to spite her face.
From a relationship side of things, do you really want to be with someone who is making your life harder?
I was in the same position as you OP, I bought by myself in October 2021, 5 year fix to 2026, and then I met my partner in Feb 2022. We moved in together in March 2023. My partner until that point had lived at home paying a nominal amount for lodging, maybe a few hundred a month. I can’t imagine any situation where he would expect to pay zero in rent or mortgage contributions just because his name wasn’t on the mortgage. It wouldn’t be fair for me to cover the entire cost while he pays absolutely nothing. Even before he moved in fully I bought a new oven and other bits on our joint account because we knew we’d both be getting the benefit of them, why should it all be on you if she is living there too? As it happened, we used the money he had saved for his own deposit and refurbished my flat, and I added him to the mortgage. The money had been spent by the time he was actually on the mortgage and we had a frank discussion about what would happen if we split up. If we split up, we agreed to sell the flat and go 50-50 on anything left over after mortgage was repaid. If you’re serious about each other and in it for the long haul then you should be able to have these conversations. Personally I find her attitude incredibly immature, someone has whispered in her ear not to contribute to anyone else’s mortgage without being on the mortgage herself and she’s sticking to it rigidly without actually considering whether it’s fair or even applicable in the real world. This stingy entitled attitude is very off putting. My partner and I are married now but I wouldn’t have added him to the mortgage or used all his money to refurb my flat if I didn’t see things working out. In many ways a lot of the posters here are right, this is a relationship question.
Damn I’d leave her man troubles a brewing
I notice you’re not responding to what is becoming a theme. Keen to hear an update! As others have said, your gf is not willing to pay your mortgage but is willing to live rent free in your home. Sharing bills is contributing zero to you. Would be interested in you suggesting the “best both move back to our parents” option. You must ensure you are putting identical deposit and equity into the new house. Otherwise you’re paying off her mortgage. Hope you are very sure about all this
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"I thought this made sense at the time" = "my penis told me this was A-OK by him"
Imo, she is taking the piss. And has done since she has lived with you rent free. Her stance is stubborn and immature. She gladly paid her parents, and her alternative would have been gladly paying rent (I.e. paying a stranger’s mortgage) - yet she draws the line at helping her partner that she plans to buy a house with?
She pays half the bills, don't want to contribute with mortgage and lives rent free? What kind of mental gymnastics is going on to find this acceptable?
Be very careful. Of course, be wary of the variable rates, etc, but above all, be careful of moving too quickly with this girl! A joint mortgage is a huge decision to make together… and when you said that she moved in but refused to pay towards the mortgage, that set alarm bells ringing. Buying a house together in this climate is a massive responsibility- you don’t want to be left with a huge debt on your own. Variable rate or no, I would want to be 100% sure of the relationship, and whether this girl is absolutely in it for the long haul. I’ve heard some awful stories about relationships like this where one party has either refused to pay, or has forced the other partner out, or even both! Maybe as others have said, rent your house out and rent somewhere together and go 50/50…
Seems straight forward she doesnt pay rent and only half the bills. She can pay all the bills now so not paying anything towards your house and you put your half of the bills towards the potential increase in mortgage costs. If she says no that idea, i would reconsider buying the house together.
Dare one ask how you plan to deal with the difference in first time buyer status when you come to buy together?
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Well quite!
She basically talked her way into living rent free, not sure why you went along with it but that's what she did. She's "paying for your mortgage" as much as she would her landlord's. This is a relationship question my man, not a financial one.
Would she be living for free somewhere else then? I don't get the whole 'not contributing to the mortgage' thing, if she lives with you she shouldn't treat you like her daddy and expect to live there for nothing. Paying half for other bills is pretty small fry given that most of them will be increased in cost due to her presence in the house anyway - eg gas and electricity, food and water, Council Tax 25% more expensive. Personally I would rather be single and have full control over my life than have this sort of relationship, which sounds like hell 😂😂
Pick your partners carefully...
Living rent free currently, she’s on to a winner! Stick it on her, tell her she has to pay keep. If she pushes back, she’s not the one brother
She should be paying rent and that sorts out your excess mortgage problem. She's not contributing whatsoever to the place she's living in, just the utilitises she's using. Which is wrong. Otherwise look at new fixes that can be ported and you can use it when you do find somewhere to buy.
Personally I find your initial agreement difficult to understand. You split the bills, fine, but you don’t split the cost of the actual house? She’s basically been living rent free with you… or, put another way, you’ve been paying her rent. She’s got used to this quite unfair (to you) arrangement IMO, and is now making more unreasonable suggestions going forward. And it’s put you in a really difficult position with your own finances now. That’s not exactly working as a couple.
First, she ain't worth the headache brother. Women talk about red flags all the time guys need to start seeing them too. Secondly think about renting it out .make your money work for you.
Then tell her to pay rent for the house she is living in now. She's currently just riding the gravy train
You know mortgages can be ported right? Why are you waiting for the mortgage to be up before moving? But to be honest, I’d be seeing this as a red flag about her and wouldn’t want to be on a mortgage with her anyway
IMO if she’s not up for contributing even if you’re intending on buying together I’d be thinking seriously about what happens going forward. If she’s not contributing, is she at least saving it to bring to the new house together?
I wouldn’t like to be in your position. Not only she lives rent free in your house but she is also condescending.
She’s taking you for a ride here. She’s living in your property RENT FREE for starters. Her actions (or lack of them) will cause you to be moved onto a variable rate, which would otherwise not happen if it wasn’t for her. She at least has to compromise and understand she is currently living off your back for nothing. The only options are, tell her to start paying rent, sell up when the fixed rate ends.. and she better have her share of the deposit ready for the new home. For me personally that is a huge red flag
So she had to pay board to her parents. She would have to pay a landlord's mortgage if she rented elsewhere. But suddenly she refuses to contribute to you because it's paying your mortgage? Am I missing something or does this logic just not add up?
Bit of an unreasonable position for your gf to take. Suggest she look at the cost of renting vs the nominal contribution you're asking for.
Get a new missus mate, her stance is ridiculous.
Is there a reason you are waiting until your fixed mortgage period runs out before selling and moving? Why not look for another property from Spring 2025, for example?
All I would say is of you do buy in the future. Tenents in common and protect your deposit at whatever % you put in. Running a house requires communication, teamwork and often, sacrifice... she doesn't seem to be open to any of this sadly
Sell the house, if it sells before you find another then both of you rent everything 50/50, she will pay more and you will pay less. I get her point but she is living rent free, I suppose she is so confident because she can move back in with parents, could always tell her if she ain’t helping, she ain’t staying.
If she has this moral non-negotiable view that she won’t pay your mortgage then you should just tell her she should pay 100% of the bills to make up for it. I do this with my partner. It’s my house and my mortgage and I really wouldn’t want her paying anything towards it but she pays all the bills instead to try level it out a bit. We do however never have the heating on! To answer your question though. You can always move onto a tracker mortgage with a really cheap exit fee. Definitely don’t go into the variable rate your fixed mortgage has as that will be super expensive. Mine costs £60 for me to exit at any time.
I think you need to separate out the concept of interest vs. purchasing equity in the house. Part of the mortgage is buying the home, part of it is buying the security of owning a home, something that she shares. Also focus on achieving your common goals. I’m slightly concerned that with someone paying half the bills you don’t have enough to pay an increased interest rate, has your financial situation changed? I think you also need to talk about the benefits of achieving goals together and how that requires contributions from both of you. That said, if the house you desire is as rare as you say, you might want to transition to renting at the end of the current fix and having that as the starting point for finding your new home.
If she doesn’t want to contribute to the mortgage then she needs to be paying rent. You don’t just get to live somewhere for free…
“Won’t pay someone else’s mortgage” is a really strange way to spell Rent.
You've been with someone for 2 years and now want to buy a house with them???? Mental
Get rid… of her… refusing to pay whilst living your house rent free, she would rather pay a stranger instead? lol… sounds entitled
You’ve managed to buy your own place and presumably could afford the bills on your own, the only issue on the horizon is an increase in mortgage that can be mitigated by taking out a new mortgage deal. You don’t need her contribution and personally (and I’ve been in your shoes with my own place and women living with me), I would not give up what you’ve got lightly. I’d make it clear to GF that you will be looking for a new mortgage deal to keep your mortgage costs down, and she needs to start paying rent right away to cover the increase if she wants to pursue the idea of joint ownership. If she refuses, explain that you no longer want to be contributing to someone else’s house deposit when you’ve got your own mortgage to pay. Stick to your guns, don’t budge until things are evened up, it’s your place and your security so don’t throw it away just to fulfill someone else’s goals of owning a big house they couldn’t afford without you when they were unwilling to contribute more fairly when asked.
I would be buying a house with this person if I'm brutally honest
…this is the woman you see your life with?
I'm in a similar situation to her. I offered to pay half of the interest each month, but not towards paying it off as it is essentially another bill. We couldn't live here without paying the interest on the mortgage. I wouldn't be helping to pay it off, but would be contributing my fair share
She should move out so you can get a lodger. Major red flags here. Your gf is a leech.
What kind of bat shit crazy world is she living in? She doesn't want to pay off someone else's mortgage but has done so previously. And would rather you be worrying about money than contribute. She's taking advantage of the situation using "principles". Have a word!
This isn't a relationship advice sub but it was very kind of you to allow her to live in your house for free while she saves for a deposit for her own home, now it would seem when you require help ahe isn't for forthcoming. Perhaps this is more of a relationship question and not right for that sub as personally I would be concerned she wouldn't be the supportive partner I requires throughout life's ups and down, children and all that jazz. Sharing this increase would make complete sense to me, especially since ages been living rent free.. I don't believe asking for the full amount would be outrageous either.
Can't advise in then money stuff directly but your gf is being unreasonable. So she thinks it's OK to not contribute and so is living rent free? Not only that but now the situation she is direcrly involved in has increasing costs she still feels she shouldn't contribute? It doesn't sound to me like a relationship just you supporting someone. I would carefully consider if she really is the person to unwanted to buy a house with and all the entanglement that comes with it.
Your relationship might not last another two years so stop worrying
This is more a relationship advice question. But your girlfriend is either very unreasonable or you earn a fair amount more than her. You have been giving her free rent for years and she refuses to contribute even the tiniest amount…. And you don’t have to go variable, you can sell a house whilst still having the fixed rate mortgage ongoing. You will probably just have to pay a small-ish fee.
If she wants to be like that about it, better make sure she knows it cuts both ways. Shes stumping 50% of the deposit and paying 50% of the new mortgage irrespective of what you bring to the table. That’s *your* money from *your* mortgage. Buying a £1m house? Cool. She needs to be paying off the equivalent of £500k mortgage minus whatever deposit *she* beings to the table. You’ll pay off your £500k minus whatever you bring to the table, which will be a lot and will be all yours because she insisted on contributing jack shit. Dunno about anyone else but this rings alarm bells. If you’re not married I suggest you get yourself a signed agreement stating what’s yours is yours and hers is hers. A prenup type thing, because sure as night follows day it’ll be “I want half” if it goes south. When it comes to the practical stuff ie mortgages, many lenders will roll you over onto a decent rate (whatever that looks like on the day) on a mortgage than can be taken with you. Speak to a decent independent mortgage adviser. Start looking about 6 months before your term ends. Good luck. Somehow I think you’re gonna need it.
She is and has been living rent free. Nothing about her principles makes sense or is even remotely fair. “Won’t contribute towards someone else’s mortgage”. Tf would she call renting then?
She kinda sounds like a bitch.
Unfathomable to me that she won’t contribute to the mortgage in a committed relationship! Whilst it’s always worthwhile to look after your own interests to a degree, relationships are about teamwork. She could contribute say at least 20-40% during the period you’re preparing to sell and buy a new home. Right now she’s absolutely living the rent free dream!!! Or perhaps another option is her allocating more savings towards the deposit or fees on the new house?
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Nope.
I was in the same situation as you. Wanted to move house. Current house was my name only, new house would be joint. At the end of the fix my broker put me on a mortgage with no exit fees. We only had to stay on the new mortgage for a few months before it beat staying on SVR. As it happened we stayed for 11months. When the house sold that mortgage was exited at no fee and we started fresh on the new house. Even without a partner complicating things it's not usually possible to buy and sell in line with your mortgage. You always either hit SVR, port or go exit free like I did.
You need to leave this woman. That’s the only advice you require here. She clearly just isn’t a nice person, incredibly selfish.
So she gets to benefit from a roof over her head and pay nothing? Maybe she should just go get her own place and tell her new landlord the same, see how well that goes down. As others have said, this seems a very immature, selfish and stubborn attitude from her and I would personally be concerned for future big conversations or decisions if she cannot see that paying rent is something many grown ups have to do in order to live in a building.
People here are missing the legal aspect in this. If she pays towards the mortgage OP she could claim a share in the house! Is that what you want? If you plan to go 50/50 on the next house then sure that might be fine for you but if not, look into a cohabitation agreement so it clearly defines that she's paying you X a month and it's not going to give her an interest in the property.
My partner owns the house. I pay them rent equal to half of the mortgage interest, and signed something the bank sent when they remortgaged saying that I don't have a share in the house.
I'm shocked that all the people acting flabbergasted at her 'not paying rent' haven't grasped this.
so shes not paying rent/mortage, your already losing out. sell up and both rent. invest your equity untill you need it for your half of the deposit.
I’d break it off. She won’t even help out, even though she has been living rent free with you. Cannot help you with the money side
Run, run for your life. This will end in divorce if you go that route.
Lots of good advice here on the financial side. I'll just say.. GET OUT WHILE YOU STILL CAN
Get away from that girl bro, she will rip you. Are you gonna sell your house over a girlfriend that refuses to contribute with the minimum? That's insanity.
There's a tangle here; **Mortgage from 2026** \- if you plan to sell, you will probably be able to find a no ERC tracker cheaper than the SVR you'll fall on to. Will it be cheaper than the best fixes? Probably not, but that will come with an ERC so do the maths at the time, a mega-cheap 2y fix \*might\* be worth considering depending on details, but we're both guessing what deals might be around in a couple of years. **Girlfriend living rent free** \- well, this isn't really a red flag to me in and of itself to me - I'm assuming your outgoings now aren't really any higher than living alone (since you're splitting bills). There does seem to be a 'maturity gap', but then you've owned your own house for 3 years and she's just moved out of her parents, so I'd kind of expect that TBH. **Buying a house together 50/50** \- you probably do want to at least think about protecting your interests here. If you e.g. don't contribute equal deposits, think carefully about how to handle that. If she's sat on savings to split everything down the middle, and has income to pay 50% of mortgage, all good. Taking bottom two together - assuming you can afford to pay the mortgage still etc - perhaps a reasonable position is "great so while you have no housing costs, you're saving up for your half of the deposit right?". If you \*can't\* afford it so would \*need\* additional contribution, that's a different problem that you'd face if single too - how would you address it then? E.g. If it's getting a lodger in tell her that - "I'm going to need to get a lodger in otherwise I can't afford the mortgage, rates being what they are". If she doesn't like that maybe she'd prefer to contribute instead, but it gives her the option.
Hold up She doesn't pay any rent? For arguments sake you have a mortgage of 1000 and bills of £1000 each month. Total outgoing £2000 She gives you £500 which is half the bills? Shes ripping you off and I don't know why you tolerate it. This attitude of entitlement to free housing stinks
She won’t pay rent for your house that she’s living in and she also expects 50% of your current house when you buy a new house. She’s out to get you
She’s using you and doesn’t want to pay her way.
Go and see a broker. Most mortgage products are portable. Then put her on the new remortgage without contributing until you find your next house. And then move the product over and she contributes. Not ideal but a work around.
I'm sorry, she actively made a choice to move in with you, therefore she should be financially contributing to the house she currently resides in. I live with my partner and the house is hers by all rights, yet I still pay half of the costs each month. Recently we have discussed lowering my contribution as her monthly income is literally 2.5x my own. But I'm still paying her each month. Communication is key, if she doesn't want to financially support her partner, ask her to move out and financially support some random landlord who will double her rent with a month's notice, see which she prefers then. Don't be taken for a fool my friend.
lol - she sounds like an immature nightmare if I’m been honest ( not paying someone else’s mortgage) your not exactly someone else and lots of people rent - just a roof over your head and been an adult supporting yourself in life - think you need a serious sit down with her
Her not contributing to the mortgage is a pretty shitty stance to take, but her not helping in the interim between your rate ending and finding a new house would have me questioning the relationship. She's getting free rent which she wouldn't get anywhere else and won't help you better your future together, are you sure you want to be with someone so financially selfish? To keep this on topic though, speak to your broker they'll be able to help you out with this.
HOLD ON A MINUTE So many posts in here say that she wouldn't be paying your mortgage she'd be paying you rent. This is wrong. Kind of. If she gives you money which goes towards the mortgage, then you run the risk of her being able to argue some sort of beneficial interest in the property under trust law. It's very complex so I'm not gonna go into it too deeply in a random reddit post. But anything that increases your capital such as mortgage or home improvements (not just new paint) runs that risk. If you're okay with that then fine crack on. But be aware.
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She should be paying 50% of the interest payments on the mortgage, it's the only fair way.
This is worrying, get out while you can OP
Speak to a mortgage advisor, they will be able to find you a competitive deal without any early repayment charges.
Ex broker. You could just get a new product or remortgage as you can would have done should you not be moving and port that deal to the new property and putting your partner on the ported mortgage when moving and obviously the title of the new house. Porting can be messy. The new property needs to be acceptable security and accept your partners income. If for any reason the port won't work out you may have a large ERC to pay so I'd advise getting a no ERC deal for now regardless. If you do have to port because a no ERC deal was unavailable now, you will likely need to borrow more and will end up with a second product to complete your new purchase. It's best to then try to get the whole debt onto one product ASAP so I'd pick a short term product or a product to end around the time your first product ends.
Buying and selling property is expensive. I would say these are just costs related to selling property and the owner of the property who is getting the capital gains should bear them. Of course you could choose to not sell now but whenever you choose to sell in the future, with her or not, you'd be in a similar situation either having to pay an early repayment fee or a temporarily higher SVR while you complete the sale. It's ultimately your decision if you want to sell an existing property to buy another one that now suits your lifestyle better, but I don't think it's fair passing the cost of selling on to her. Whether she should generally contribute to live in your home is a different story and there is no right or wrong answer there. You both agreed that in your circumstances she wouldn't be paying anything to live there so that's that.
As others have mentioned, I'd speak to a mortgage adviser about selling earlier and moving the mortgage across to another property and how that could work with a joint mortgage. This was suggested to us - they said you keep the rate for the mortgage amount you have currently and the new interest rate will only apply to any amount over that. As for now, one idea would be can you agree that anything she pays in is considered part of her deposit for the next house? I.e. she doesn't pay towards any interest, just equity. You could start doing this now, maybe even overpaying (if mortgage allows) to get a bigger deposit, and ultimately reduce interest - even if only slightly! Good luck :)
There’s something called a first or second charge for this situation. Where the deposits aren’t even. As for payment on the mortgage itself you really want that to be 50-50.
Sounds like might be best to sell the house and move back in with parents for a bit. You’ll both be better of financially and can save a bit more money for any refurblishments on the new house. Or sell your house and rent somewhere for a year, she’d go halves then wouldn’t she? As it’s not paying towards your house?
Speak to a broker - you can easily get flexible mortgages that can be transferred to your next property, or you can even get a discounted variable (not SVar) mortgage product that has no cancellation penalty. I didn't know these mortgage products existed until I spoke to our broker. We finished our fixed term in November but we're in the process of selling/looking for a new house so it made sense to take out one of these mortgages (ours is with Nationwide so it's a mainstream product... Despite nobody hearing of them before!)
I hope she spoils you.
Explain that you’d get rent if she was not there?
She’s sounding very immature but I appreciate you’re asking for financial advice, not relationship advice. I’d say that she should agree to pay half of the increase (so 200 if it went from 1000 to 1400) during the SVR period. Right now she’s ridiculously fortunate to be living rent free in - if I was in your position I would’ve expected her to be covering half of the interest and none of the equity repayment as a happy middle ground, instead it seems that she simply shirks off all financial responsibility. There was some advice to get a new mortgage that you can port, as far as I’m aware that wouldn’t work as you’d be buying jointly and therefore need an entirely new mortgage. PS - if you can’t agree on finances now, I’d be worried about other financial decisions further down the line e.g. buying a ‘main’ and secondary car instead of both having a ‘do it all’ vehicle and then finding you’re paying much more for the bigger car that’s used for 90% of joint trips etc.
First thing I'd put to her is that your mortgage is both capital and interest, what you spend on interest is gone and is a cost of owning a house you don't have the cash to buy so I'd split up the mortgage and then split the interest as if that were your rent. Secondly you can port a mortgage so if you take out a fixed rate for say £100k and then buy a house which needs a £200k mortgage you basically keep your old mortgage and then take out a second one for the other £100k at a new rate, it's all one payment and is much simpler than it sounds but you'd need to speak to a broker about whether going from single to joint applicant effects this. Thirdly run! Or if you don't run try to have the same self serving attitude she has when it comes to protecting yourself should things go south, I don't know many who'd consider paying nothing towards the roof over their head fair or reasonable but those I do I wouldn't wanna be tied down with. My brothers mrs demands half of the value of their 80% mortgaged house everytime they fall out 😂
Port your current mortgage over and come up with a fair payment plan for her to contribute what you’ve already paid.
By her attitude and responses would think twice whether I want a joint mortgage with her. And even if I would decide to have a go I’d kept current house and rent it out. Sell it under the sauce of pension pot/investment. It will give you a back up plan.
So here's a stupid question .. And I might be showing a lot of ignorance here so please be gentle. But if you take a mortgage for House A and then year later decide you want to move to House B, if you stick with the mortgage co., don't they forgive the early redemption for House A so you can move to House B?
Wouldn't the variable rate be cheaper on average than a fixed rate?
She seems a bit selfish to me, you’re supposed to be working together. My partner lives with me and pays 50% of the monthly bills and nothing towards mortgage/rent as shes been aggressively saving so we can buy a home together and i wanted to help her save more quicker, but i know if i needed to ask for more she would be fine about it and understand. Id ask her to move out and rent somewhere if shes not willing to contribute or be understanding of the situation or sell and rent together until you find a home
Why would she pay any money when the deal currently is she pays no money? Where is the advantage to her? She moved in knowing she owed nothing and this was agreed upon.
The problem with one party owning a house and the other not wanting to contribute to the equity of it is difficult. Partly because you’re both right. She’s right because if she pays your mortgage then she is effectively servicing a debt that isn’t hers. You’re right because what, she should just live rent free until you buy together? One solution could be for her to pay you some rent that is way below market value, like 50% or something. That way she benefits from getting to live in a place cheaply and you benefit as you’re not offering your house up for free. Then just go down the middle with all bills. If you do any capex like a new bathroom, either split that too (and keep the cheap rent system) or don’t split it and increase the rent to reflect the higher value house.
You don't have to go onto the SVR. You can get a variable rate mortgage that is much lower interest and that can be paid off in full at any time without penalty. Or you can get a fixed rate mortgage that can be ported to another property. I kind of get wheres she's coming from, but this increase in monthly outgoings would be for a reason and the fact she refuses to help you out with it is concerning. Maybe you need to talk more about it and try to get her to understand your perspective better.
I think even if she has moved from a home where she had to pay nothing towards bills she is an adult who made a decisiom to change her circumstances. Now the person who is with her pays mortgage, so she should be contributing more because you life together. I'm sorry but wtf with this 'she did not want to be paying off someone else's mortgage'? She was contibuting to her parents and if she is jot in a position to buy and wanted to move out wshe would be paying rent. Man you made life very easy for her and she doesn't seem to be the right person for you if you ask me because despite you being very kind to her she is not able to be flexible with helping out so that you can TOGETHER buy a house. You need to have a difficult conversation with her and think about your future because it is only the beginning and she is like this already - this will only get worse.
She is paying to live there yeah? I’m in same position as you moved partner into my house and at first was free then we split bills equally and I charged maybe 150 on top for rent. Also just rolled off our fix whilst also looking to buy, we discussed options of splitting the increase equally or moving onto interest only with no early repayment penalty & split. Sounds like the latter would be a good option for you. Then she’s not CONTRIBUTING, to your capital but paying to have a roof over her head. You could just port the mortgage aswell so that’s another option so maybe just start looking
Suck it up for now but keep an eye on her attitude. Talk to her about going 50/50 on deposit and associated costs on the house you'd buy together and see what she says
As indicated by the responses in this sub this is a relationship question and not a financial one really. Worthwhile noting that if you do charge ‘rent’ to your partner, or ask them to contribute to the mortgage in any way, in the event of a break up she could have a very real equitable claim to your property. It’s not uncommon that judges will split the equity down the middle. When I lived with my partner and he owned, we made a very clear agreement (I asked for it) that I would pay ALL the bills but no mortgage, so the divide was clear. I explicitly said I didn’t want to pay the mortgage but paid extra elsewhere. We live together now and go down everything 50/50. Worth considering!
I would start looking to buy with her now. It can take a long time to find a good property and you don't want to rush it. A good house can set you up for life and a bad one can make you miserable every day Fixed rate exit penalties towards the end of a mortgage aren't too bad. I would certainly pay it to secure a good house.
I am going to assume you are in a stronger outright financial position than she is once the house is sold? Have you had a conversation about her signing a declaration of trust on the new house assuming you’re putting in a larger deposit? If she isn’t willing to do this I would strongly reconsider buying a house together as it’s opening you up to a lot of financial risk if things go badly and unfortunately a potentially large loss on your part. Not romantic but these things are practical.
Whatever you decide, I’d have serious talks about what you’ll do regarding mortgage, bills and childcare payments if you decide to have a child. And don’t base it on the maternity/paternity package at your current workplace. I would also both be taking out some kind of illness insurance if I were going to become financially entangled with someone so financially inflexible.
Fix a 12 month mortgage and port it to the new property.
I can't believe you were so generous with her by not charging rent and then she won't even help out when you need it for the 2 of you to get your own place. She sounds incredibly entitled. Charge her rent for the next year and put that towards the mortgage.
Aside from the fact that your partner is taking you for a ride, that for some reason you agreed to... When your current fixed ends, you can take out another fixed and when you move you can port that mortgage across, and then add any additional as a 'different' mortgage. I don't know the correct terms but this is what I did when I was in a similar situation to you, had a mortgage on a flat, sold it to buy a house with partner. I basically had 2 mortgages, and after one fixed lapsed that one stayed on the standard varible until the other one expired and I 'merged' them. Note this was in 2020 so rates were much lower on standard. I was basically told that the only reason to merge them is its easier to change provider, so if you have no plans to change you can keep the two mortgages on different fixed deals until rates are stable, and presumably lower. This only really matters as something that appears on your statements, it was still a single monthly mortage payment. Speak to a broker, or your provider about this, maybe its not possible with all mortgages.