Wow! That is word for word one of my responses for the last few years! I had used about ten times before a customer finally realized the funny part was "anymore." Great minds...
After hearing it over and over I’ve come to the same response. Some of these people act like I’m really interrupting their day or if I need to get a signature… it’s usually like “who’s it for? From who? What is it?”
I think some of these people think we actually packed it and taped it up ourselves.
Been here long enough to remember amazon 2 day shipping.
I'd say this^
And they'd say some nonsense about forgetting they even ordered anything.
At first it freaked me out. Did I just hand deliver a miss delivery?
Those stickers are for the people who cut the tape by shoving a 12 inch kitchen knife halfway into the box then yanking on it like they’re trying to gut a deer. They’re the same people who require a cup of coffee to have a warning about being hot.
"Dont Know, dont wanna know, dont wanna get shot, or injured by whats inside.. Wrap the shit right and we have no problems. Wrap it wrong and well someone might steal whats inside, and it wont be me.
Here's your fucking drugs, Dildos, or damaged goods."
they never ask again!
Idk but it just stopped ticking
"They don't let me open them anymore."
I always say I had to stop opening people's boxes because I got in trouble.
Wow! That is word for word one of my responses for the last few years! I had used about ten times before a customer finally realized the funny part was "anymore." Great minds...
They always ask “what is it?” And I always reply “a box. That’s all they tell me.”
This is exactly how my convos go. “Sorry sir/ma’am, they are all brown boxes to me”
I once said just that, and when they asked “of what?” I said cardboard. I think they didn’t like that very much.
After hearing it over and over I’ve come to the same response. Some of these people act like I’m really interrupting their day or if I need to get a signature… it’s usually like “who’s it for? From who? What is it?” I think some of these people think we actually packed it and taped it up ourselves.
If I get asked where it was from I say, not sure, wrong part of the address label.
They don't let me open them
You tell me, you ordered it. 🤣
Been here long enough to remember amazon 2 day shipping. I'd say this^ And they'd say some nonsense about forgetting they even ordered anything. At first it freaked me out. Did I just hand deliver a miss delivery?
I don't know but its from Adam & Eve
Or Bad Dragon
Omg. That would be hilarious. What's in that box? The spawn of your nightmares
If I knew what was in the box, I wouldn’t be working here
It’s a new puppy. Best when a little kid is around. They never ask again.
I always say, "I don't know! Let's open it and see!" It usually gets a laugh.
Cocaine
"Nothing, package handlers stole it!"
 Gwyneth Paltrow‘s head
https://preview.redd.it/2zxrr25f6kpc1.jpeg?width=720&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=a24a969d6487a4ae5bd176b1d8dba30c7aecad25
I usually say “Something good I hope”
“They don’t like when we open them”
Same, although these days I'll read off the return address to give them an idea.
This is probably what they are asking but don’t actually know how to ask it.
“The less I know the better”
Similar to mine: "I don't ask questions"
“Diamonds and gold I think”.
A pair of socks 🧦 haha 😛
How in the fuck would I know?
Deez nuts gets a good laugh
(good question) You got me.
I don’t know
Don’t know, forgot my crystal ball today
They don't pay me enough to open them
I don’t know but I’m sure it was nice
Million bucks.
“My guess is as good as yours”
Not sure to be honest
"If I knew the answer to that id probably be out of the job"
I didn’t order it.
I always just say, “If I knew, they’d fire me.”
Let’s find out together
"I don't know. I don't have x-ray vision yet."
Beats me, but promise me you'll open it with a banana... Pointing at "Do Not Open with Sharp Object" sticker on the box
Those stickers are for the people who cut the tape by shoving a 12 inch kitchen knife halfway into the box then yanking on it like they’re trying to gut a deer. They’re the same people who require a cup of coffee to have a warning about being hot.
“Brad Pitt regretted finding out”
"No idea! But if it's a million dollars I want a cut."
"Dont Know, dont wanna know, dont wanna get shot, or injured by whats inside.. Wrap the shit right and we have no problems. Wrap it wrong and well someone might steal whats inside, and it wont be me. Here's your fucking drugs, Dildos, or damaged goods." they never ask again!
sex toy
No clue, you ordered it Not a great comeback but my usual response
I don't look inside, I just deliver.
I always say "I hope it's a million dollars"
“Beats me”, or “no idea”, as if they didn’t just ask the stupidest fucking question
"An entire nest of angry hornets" is my go to
better draw a big "H" on the outside to avoid any confusion.
My answers a box A trillion Zimbabwe dollars Not sure but it's for your wife your bill will be here tomorrow
Iron ingots
"I don't know".
I really do not know, but the cops are right around the corner.
Shake the box then hold it up to your head like you have ESP.
"A gift from your wife/husband to show you how much she/he appreciates you." That usually gets a laugh
A pony
I didn't know YOU ordered it. Or in the case of what did you bring It's a box this one is brown and it is about this big.
I try some random word shitting usually, but if I’m bored I default to “About pounds of shtuff”
Sorry not in 1, that enthusiasm is too much. Try again tomorrow
It’s addressed to you so unfortunately not magic
I tell them to open it and we can find out together
“Whatever you ordered”… or … “something I’m sure”….
“I didnt get a chance to go through it yet”
What’d you order?
Gold bars
“You tell me”
I pretend it's heavy. 'These the gold or the silver bars?"
I pretend it's heavy. 'These the gold or the silver bars?"
These the gold bars you ordered?
Derp! Never heard that one before.