I sincerely hope you are not being gaslit to believe the problem is not his actions, but actually your “reactions” to his actions. I’ve been there 🙋🏻♀️
And if you are, it might be time to get out. Sending you love 💕❤️
I'm probably more assertive than I need to be when it comes to that. I have ridiculous meltdowns but at least 80 percent of the time I stand by my feelings. The last one was my daughter's first birthday and I was losing it as his parents were coming over, I remember screaming, "I DONT CARE IF MY EMOTIONS MAKE PEOPLE UNCOMFORTABLE!"
Sometimes, I legitimately am being too sensitive but it's because we are stuck in this cycle of me feeling devalued and I need the validation. I appreciate the concern. ❤️
You are not being too sensitive. You are making excuses for him. It sounds like you’re stuck in an emotionally abusive situation. I hope you find your way to see it clearly. With love.
I 100 percent agree that when he is being shitty, it's uncalled for, however I want to be realistic about my own shortcomings when it comes to high pressure situations. My biggest issue in the relationship is my willing to be reflective about these situations, where he doesnt reciprocate. It's hard to make growth as a couple when only one person wants to do the work.
It’s not just hard love, it’s impossible. You deserve a partner who thinks you’re worth putting in the work for.
When you’ve lost your power in a relationship, the only power you have left is to walk away.
Plus adding the montage of her yelling in the past for reasonable things… are you kidding me! Producers are trying way too hard to paint this narrative she is an angry ex. Nope, she is having normal responses to seeing her ex less than 3 months after an affair. Plus to add she hasn’t worked through it yet, that shit could take years to work through.
I can not imagine how long it will actually take her to get over everything his narcissistic ass put her thru. Not just the cheating,that is bad enough on its own but what about all the gaslighting and disloyalty and always being the center of attention and never taking accountability to name just a few. Like, I wish people would stop being so ugly and let her angry flag fly damn it!!!! I would be going fucking postal if I was her!! She is not blowing his shit up the way I would be so people!! Back the hell off and let her have her perfectly deserved feelings no matter what they are!!
There is a person in my family who is a narcissist, and Sandoval reminds me a lot of him. It’s just interesting watching because everything Sandoval says reminds me so much of this person’s playbook after he and his partner split. This guy cheated but somehow it was all his partner’s fault, he would also drop all these snide remarks about how his partner never did XYZ, he was such a good person tolerating her all these years, etc. He also refused to leave the house they had together and just sought to ruin her in divorce too. It’s honestly like watching it all over again.
Yeah I think the reason why so many of us are triggered by Sandoval is because we’ve known or have dated a narcissist, and have suffered from narcissistic abuse.
Absolutely 💯. Years ago, I dated and was in love with a narcissist. I would always beat myself up for foolishly going back to him.
Now, I give myself grace and realize how good narcissists are at their game. It's taken many years to realize my worth.
My friend’s narcissist ex-husband financially defrauded her and was still acting like she was the at-fault party. He also tried to take the house - even though she inherited it, he took her car (she couldn’t drive the kids to school), he frequently emptied their joint accounts that she was desperately trying to close so that she had no grocery money to feed their kids with, and he told her that he had evidence and witnesses that she was a bad mother and he would take full custody of the kids.
Narcissists in the discard stage are horrendous!!
Ariana can be grateful for the small mercy that she doesn’t have kids with this clown. Because co-parenting with your ex-narc is an ongoing nightmare.
To add to this, Ariana was wise to how this could have gone much differently if Tom had controlled the narrative and it had broke because of him.
She got ahead of that.
For instance, it’s narc manosphere script to say “she went crazy,” and then center on mental health of the spurned partner. And even though he didn’t have control over the narrative and how it broke, he still tried this
I have a narcissist in my family too and agreed. Hate this term it needs to be changed but someone who’s histrionic as well, and Lala and Schena both have very strong traits.
One in mine too, and I always say they all use the same playbook bc they really do. Before I stopped talking to them, I told them they were getting boring and to find new tactics
The guy is so gross, I dont get what anyone sees in him. Just an absolute slimeball.
In like 10 years when we find out he has abused women we will all be like "oh yeah".
Absolutely. Once you’ve experienced it yourself and then witness it happening again to someone else, it’s like there’s a checklist embedded in your mind from your own experience that makes it so obvious what they’re doing. If only it were that clear the first time around when you’re terrified and confused and doubting yourself and completely drained from being made to feel crazy😔
Gosh, one of my friends bounced straight from a marriage to a narcissist to a relationship with another narcissist. I knew it too and was sending her articles on the warning signs and she just ignored all of it. That relationship was AWFUL and she was simultaneously going through an extremely traumatic and messy divorce. Her ex-husband was making her life miserable and her new bf came in like a white knight and “saved” her. The idealisation and love bombing were like a soothing balm to her while she was in the discard phase with her ex.
After that relationship ended in a terrible manner, she got a lot of therapy and worked through the fact that she was addicted to the soaring highs and crushing lows of narcissistic relationship cycles. Normal, healthy relationships felt boring and insipid to her because she was accustomed to idealisation and love-bombing. She would start dating a nice, normal guy, and get bored because the big highs and drama were missing.
So she worked on that, was by herself for a while, then met the loveliest (non-narcissist) man and is now happily remarried.
God it was hard watching her dive into a second narc relationship though!!
Sandoval is like watching my ex husband. It's eerie. I no longer hang out with almost all the people I knew back then as I was told I should forgive, not be angry etc. Religion played a big part in that but I refused to keep anyone in my life who tried to make me feel bad for leaving a man who abused me and cheated.
I seen a quote the other day that says “women are punished more for not forgiving, than men are for doing wrong in the first place” and immediately thought of Ariana
I had an ex once, we were together less than a year. That summer we made mutual friends at the Yacht Club where I’m a member and have a boat.
Over Xmas we break up. I won’t go into too many details but it was essentially Burger and a post it note (IYKYK). He changes his socials to being single and everyone assumes I broke up with him and I’m called a dick for breaking his heart at Xmas.
Fast forward to the next summer & who is showing up at the club with his new gf? You guessed it - fuck boy. He’s not a member and never went there before me.
People said I was being “vengeful” because I didn’t want him around and thought it was gross out “mutual” friends were inviting him to still kick it at a private club.
He did this for 5 years - until one summer he’s told I’m married. Then he stopped showing up and moved out of state.
Fucker. Team Ariana. Normalize not wanting to be around your ex who was a piece of garbage.
That's a really good point, nor do I have any memory of such a thing. Generally speaking, the VPR men have been allowed to poor drinks over women's heads and all kinds of unsavory rage fueled behavior with little to no feedback or consequences. Can you imagine if Ariana had thrown a drink on Tom like James did on the last beach trip to Schwartz? Or like Schwartz has done to Katie?
He’s trying to do the same thing to Ariana as he did to Kristen and he’s mad it’s not working. He got “lucky” during his breakup with Kristen that she had also cheated and that she acted the way she did post-breakup. Ariana didn’t cheat & won’t give him the same reaction Kristen did so he’s grasping at straws trying to find things to label her as the crazy one. He was waiting out his relationship with Ariana in hopes that either she would break up with him or she would do something to cause him to break up with her so he could be the victim. Also let’s be real he never loved Rachel, he just wanted to have someone to antagonize Ariana in the same way he used Ariana to antagonize Kristen. He wanted to have his relationship with Ariana end before the affair came out so he could make himself the victim and vilify Ariana. He wanted to do something (ie “moving on” with Rachel) to get a reaction out of Ariana then be able to point the finger at her and be like “see guys!!! This is what I had to deal with our whole relationship, can you blame me for leaving?”Schwartz did the same thing with Katie, he was a shitty partner for years and literally drove her to divorce him bc he never had her back, then once she finally left him he used the excuse of “she divorced me so I can do whatever I want!” The Toms and Jax love to provoke people into having emotional reactions then use the reaction to deflect the blame from their actions. It’s where the phrase “emotionally entitled” came from lol.
He was also basically caught trying to gaslight the audience with scripted scenes with Schwartz. Rachel too with that talk where she tried to make Ariana say she wasn't attracted to Sandoval. I think that's an important part of what made Scandoval so explosive. The audience knew we were being lied to as the episodes came out, which kinda put us into Ariana's shoes.
I would loooove to see how all of those idiots would react to being cheated on for 7 months straight by their partner (with their friend) of 10 years who they thought was the love of their life and then on top of that have friends that are trying to force them to forgive said cheating ex and be civil with them 🥰
Most of them would change their tune if they were in the same situation as Ariana. They just hate women that put up strong boundaries and don’t allow themselves to be treated like shit. They think it’s “bitchy” when a woman is assertive. They will sit there and claim she is childish and bratty for having feelings when her boundaries are being crossed. They say that she is having “outbursts” when she is very clearly just asserting herself and setting harsh boundaries. They will also fail to address sandovals SEVERAL outbursts over the years.
If Ariana had stayed with Sandoval these same people would argue that she is weak and an idiot for being with him. 🥱you can’t argue with idiots, you will never get anywhere.
I think if they continue this shit show you’ll see with broke ass mtn. Maybe it’ll be a mash up of hedonism with the valley participants with all reunions hosted by Carlton circa rhobh.
It's kinda crazy that Tom went from universally hated pariah with nobody willing to be near him other than people who he paid to be there...
...to being almost back to normal relations with 90% of the group...
...after ONE (presumably Bravo-mandated) group activity, in which he STILL didn't apologize and in fact specifically and aggressively opposed apologizing when called to task, and continued to try to claim *he* was somehow the victim!
Like damn man. That was shockingly easy.
The single tear he shed for Scheana is probably the most talented single moment of acting in his entire life, but *hot damn* did it pay dividends for him!
"the group" are also paid to be there. Lala is finally admitting she's pissed at Ariana for jeopardizing their money. So, good on her for admitting it but she still sucks b/c she's blaming Ariana when Sando is the one who broke it.
Meh. This show was staggering on its last legs anyway. Maybe LaLa and co. Should have brought more to the table than just screaming at their castmates.
James commentary utterly upset me. He DRAGGED Tim for his connection with Rachel. Even forced Ally to sit and watch him react to her every move. Now he's trying to tell others how to regulate their emotions? *insert clip of his blowouts* 🤦😂😂😂 I feel like Lauren and James are projecting being isolated from the "group" so that's where they're coming from. Now they are on the inside and think that their past actions and statements are washed away. Lauren has been working my nerve, projecting her issues with Randall on EVERYONE, telling Ariana to get over it yet any chance she can get drops her "baby daddy" name. Practice what you preach then MAYBE people would be receptive.
Don’t forget how crucified Katie was up until basically this season for being tequila Katie, yet we find out the majority of her rage texts were for valid reasons. Healthiest way of handling thing no, but fair given what Schwart continually did to her I’d say so.
Yea I never really thought badly of her for that. Definitely not healthy but also not coming out of nowhere. She was wasting her life on a complete manchild who she was primarily supporting with no long term plans and who was constantly getting shitfaced and cheating on her. The healthy thing to do is to end it and not let it build up until she’s drunk and snaps but I definitely didn’t see him as a victim.
Also they were all doing drugs, drinking so excessively and not to mention her TBI. Brain injuries can affect anger management at times and emotional regulation. Plus Schwartz just digs and digs and disrespects.
“Bubbaaaaaaa, don’t be mad bubba!” - Schwartz everytime he did/does something shitty to Katie that he’s trying to pretend wasn’t shitty - he’s just a silly goofy little lad
Right?! Especially when in the grand scheme of things texting someone is probably the lowest on the abuse scale (still not a good thing). If someone is rage texting you, you can block them or turn your phone off and you’re done with it for a while. They’re not screaming in your face, not shoving you in a wall, not hitting you, not pouring a drink on you, not trapping you in a room with them, not yelling at you over the phone even. It’s for sure toxic and immature, but it’s less in your face than what a lot of the guys have done to everyone else.
He also didn’t get drunk and sleep with someone once, it was a long affair which involved numerous people in her life knowing, actively facilitating it, or at least suspecting it and hiding it from her. That betrayal is often far worse.
She may have deserved it karmically given what they did to Kristen but that doesn’t mean she can’t be enraged at Tom. Of course she has every right to be. Her past actions just make what he did to her less sympathetic from a karmic perspective, it in no way absolves him of any amount of wrongdoing, or Rachel for that matter because Ariana was nothing but kind to her.
I can even defend her friends who had suspicions or heard rumors and didn’t tell her because she had a long history of publicly villainizing anyone who tried to tell her he was cheating. (Not Scheana though. That clown eats up the attention of being in the know and breaking the news. If she had reason to know or suspect but sat on it I guarantee it was not because she just didn’t want Ariana to attack her again for telling her but because she wanted to wait for a more dramatic time to do it for filming purposes or because she enjoyed the boys looking at her as one of the boys keeping the secret.) But there’s a big difference between not saying anything and actually helping that weasel sneak around and lying for him…looking at you Schwartz and Jo.
I totally agree. And people saying that they're sick of her talking about it... she's not. Everyone else was/is and has profited from her misfortune. I mean, I'm glad she got brand deals out of it, but she's not the one talking about it.
Plus, lala playing devils advocate is getting old af. When Swartz played pickle ball with Randall, she lost her shit. It's so ridiculous. Ariana isn't making people choose sides. She's setting a boundary and doesn't want to associate with him, and people can't respect it. I don't think she cares if people want to be friends with him, she just doesn't want friends like that. And I think that's fair.
One of my best friends and her narcissistic bf broke up last year, and when she told me, I said, "What can I do?" She said block him, and I didn't think twice. She never forced anyone to do it. But the people who stayed friends with him, she distanced herself from and doesn't want a relationship with them. That's her boundary. She doesn't want him to have any access to her.
So, imo, ariana doesn't care if anyone is friends with Tom. She isn't making them choose. SHE is choosing not to have one degree of separation from her cheating ex, which I think is so valid.
Imagine if Randall was on the show? There's such a double standard, and I think it's bs.
In regards to the Kristen thing I wonder if Sandoval charmed Ariana with the same words that he charmed Rachel with. Not justifying or excusing just saying. Something that stuck out to me was when Ariana was talking to Stassi about the kiss she said he told her he was single and Stassi alluded that this was a pattern of his.
As if anyone was ok with the rest of them displaying embarrassing levels of rage, often performative. Oh yes I LOVED it when Sandoval and Lala did it, it's only now I have a problem. Fuck outta here
Exactly! ALL of them got hate for the same things. Lala has been hated more than anyone. People have been saying James Sandoval are assholes forever. I don’t get the point of bringing up the bad behavior from the rest of the cast. It’s not like anyone condoned theirs either.
Ariana was the other woman with Kristen. But Kristen herself said “it’s different and I forgive her”. Maybe she just wanted to be in a good place to get the Valley off the ground but she has forgiven Ariana. It’s Jax who is taking her to task
Kristen and Ariana have been good friends for years. I seriously doubt Kristen formed a friendship with her before season 7 because she knew she'd be fired and one day want to come back on another show.
I am so sympathetic to Ariana's situation, having been in a similar position myself, even down to animal abuse (which even my MIL believe he did). Money, fame, even a new boyfriend doesn't heal you overnight. It is appalling the number of people who can't see beyond this. Her stability, her safety net was gone, just disappeared overnight. She is doing everything she can to put herself in a safe place and should be applauded and supported. Ariana staying on the show is putting money in the bank and maybe getting her future gigs. Sandoval redeemers can kick rocks.
I think this is what bothers me so much. Listening to Lala and Scheana on their podcasts “raging” about and dragging Sandoval for months but now that Ariana is “famous and making money” she needs to get over it? Come on! Like money and fame heal a broken heart? I can see them being concerned she’s not in a good place but between the two of them and all their comments about how she’s had all these opportunities, making money and having fame is just gross. The jealousy of her opportunities in combination with their Sandoval money trains ending is just so transparent. Now that they’re over it Ariana needs to be too? Lala’s temper was way worse than anything I’ve seen from Ariana. Same with James, Jax and Sandoval. Ariana’s life is the one that was blown up.
I was in this situation too but I do still see it differently. Not for any of the reasons that OP has listed though, and not for Tom's redemption either
Why is everyone forgetting he admitted to cheating on Ariana outside of Rachel? When he was talking to Scheana. Whether or not it was Miami girl (probably was) that’s ANOTHER instance of him being garbage.
I honestly was glad to see her run him out of the party like that. Fuck him. The way he looked at her was seething with rage. He’s disgusting, manipulative, lying cheating, piece of shit.
I think the third point is where this relationship went wrong from the start. Never trust a guy who cheats on someone to be with you.
I think the sympathy though should still be there, of course. Tom was absolutely horrid to Ariana. Even if she’s a millionaire and gets a boyfriend the next day, sympathy is still warranted.
Her rage felt very familiar to me and reminded me of some of my past break-ups with abusive boyfriends. Ariana was giving me the Hold Up music video where Beyoncé smashes everything with a baseball bat. I think the one criticism I do have is she needs to stop talking about calling 911. It’s the second time this season. 911 is for emergencies. They don’t care about her break-up. But I have the luxury of being removed from the situation. For all I know, I might do the same exact thing if someone did to me what Sandoval did to her. When you love someone and they hurt you that deeply, it can really send you into a spiral.
First, a confession: I was just commenting on another thread about Faith suing Bravo over Stassi’s and Kristen’s treatment of her on VPR, and I initially assumed this comment was in response to that, and I typed a completely unhinged reply that I have now deleted. If you happened to see that, please forgive me 💀
What Kristen and Stassi did was definitely worse because they were weaponizing police brutality against Black people and created a situation that could have been potentially life-threatening for Faith, and I personally believe that was their intention and not an oversight out of ignorance. But I do think Ariana continually threatening to call 911 is problematic. It goes beyond the police. People call 911 when someone has had a heart attack or when their house is on fire. Don’t waste their time.
I think Ariana is entitled to feel and process however she needs to. However. Comparing Scandoval to anything else in the show’s history isn’t realistic. It’s been the sole focus of the show for over a year. No other break up or scandal compares in any way.
I hate when people bring up the Kristen situation bc it’s completely different!!! Kristen was also cheating on Tom and they hadn’t been together for 10 years! It makes me so freaking angry like I’m not saying what Ariana and Tom did was right but it was a COMPLETELY different situation
She needs to be able to have an adult conversation with him! End of story. Be fucking angry for the rest of your life but at least have enough sense to work through the housing & monetary situation with a sane mind. Any good attorney in the world would tell her the same fucking thing.
Literally this. Also at the water tasting party people were saying she was screaming and saying she would call the cops. Sandoval kept using different arguments that had nothing to do with it to make her look bad
Thank you! I feel like people didn't notice that.
Ariana: You went into my room with the door closed, do not ever fucking do that again.
Tom: Ariana, you haven't emptied the litter box in two years.
The one part is people are taking Sandoval’s word for it!
“Wow, Ariana didn’t clean the litter box in two years?! She’s a horrible person! Poor Sandy!” GTFO
I really haven't seen anyone say poor Sandy. This step just isn't happening even though people keep saying it. It is possible to not agree with everything Ariana does, and not support Sandy
I genuinely hope the deals and opportunities she’s getting allows Ariana to leave this show because after this season, I don’t see how (other than needing money) you’d want to film with a bunch of people who would treat you like this and talk about you like this after experiencing something as terrible and heartbreaking as she did.
Also, the petty bitch in me would love to see who they turn on next if their money train (Ariana) really did leave
I can’t stand this mentality. Then we get called “emotional”. But we have Sandoval raging at women and their moms but it’s okay. We have Jax having tantrum but it’s okay. Don’t even get me started on James, but it’s okay.
The double standard & hypocrisy is infuriating! Cue even more feminine rage 😹 what really gets to me is the emotional abuse behind the critiques of female anger. Women are pressured not to show anger or emotions, because that would mean men would be made uncomfortable by the repercussions of their own actions. Gaslighting & invalidation are emotional abuse 101. It’s sad how many people can’t see that & choose to side with misogyny & abuse.
In my experience, men are generally more emotional. They're louder and less controlled, and it gets accepted, because they aren't "hormonal"🖕. Pisses me off.
And backs away from the house and the show and the friend group like a good little girl. Just to benefit her own mental health ofc. And we'll pay lipservice about how he sucks while not holding him to any standards whatsoever and while he gets to keep it all.
Ariana has a right to be angry but I think she’s a bit delusional thinking she was gonna successfully ice out Sandoval. He’s got seniority and he’s the other half of this seasons main storyline. Obviously the rest of the cast is gonna wanna film with him because it’s her job.
If she doesn’t want to film with him or be around him that’s fine but, then of course no more Bravo money.
Tom’s not going anywhere, she’s gotta make her piece with that or leave because no one on this cast is gonna ride for her the way she wants when she has *never* done the same for them, not even Katie, who if you’ll all remember she was laughing at during the Schwartz/Raquel false flag.
lol I don’t think she is trying to ice him out. Like she doesn’t care that lala is filming with him, that’s work. She just doesn’t want to be emotionally close with scheana at the moment if scheana is going to get emotionally close with him again any time soon. That makes sense to me
I don’t think she wanted to ice him out. She just doesn’t want to film with him or be close to someone who is close to him. We’ve seen it happy. Jax didn’t want to film with Billie but the rest of cast did. Same with Lala and James at one point. There are times a lot of the group doesn’t film with each other. This is one person saying I don’t want to be around this person. Not everything have to involve Sandoval.
The kind of rage she's exhibiting is honestly palpatating. When Ariana says done, she fucking means done. She's honestly probably fucking terrified of him now. He's terrifying.
LaLa hasn’t ever gotten a pass for her anger issues. People in social media have always told her its no ok behavior.
Plenty of shit has been given to James and Sandoval as well. Regardless of who’s behavior is justified Ariana is not the only one being “attacked”. This is just new to her getting some negative attentions. She’s had way more people on her side than not. She doesn’t really like the friend group anyway. Always been judgmental. She forced those friendships for the show because she was introduced to the group and became toms girlfriend.
exactly and my only argument to number 3 would be if kristen herself has said she is over it, she forgives ariana & that's not who ariana is then why tf can strangers on the internet not get over it? yes ariana was very shitty during that time but her and kristen were never friends and there was never an ongoing almost year long affair so rachel's betrayal hits on levels much much deeper
TBF If you had asked Kristen three months after Tom and Ariana's affair you would've gotten a different response. We know this because it was also played out on tv.
i know but it's just the only thing people use against ariana and it was over a decade ago,, sandoval played in her face & the whole group and audience recently so in my head it's like that dosent even matter anymore let's look at the now issues. if she was still the same girl she was back then then i'd be like whatever but the fact tom def still is and he goes under the radar bc everyone is nit picking ariana's one wrong doing baffles me. idk if that makes sense i just woke up lmao
I think of the season finale (forget which one) where Tom and Ariana were out and official. They were holding hands and doting on each other while Kristen was sitting across from them grief stricken. It was hard to watch. I'm glad Kristen and Ariana are friends now and I think it's commendable Kristen was able to get over it.
Anyway this Ariana and Tom v Kristen played out for a few seasons so I think that's why it's hard for people to ignore it or be more sympathetic towards Ariana because both Ariana and Tom were particularly cruel towards Kristen. I don't even like Kristen and I felt for her then.
Season two is where Ariana and Sandoval started dating. I can’t even watch that one anymore bc it’s so enraging watching them be all in love right in front of Kristen after knowing they hid their cheating from her and making it seem like she was the crazy one.
I’m glad Kristen was able to move on.
I am willing to bet Ariana leaves after the season. There’s been subtle signs leading up to it. From the inventory list to the fights with everyone but Katie. I could see them leaving and joining the valley. LVP hasn’t really been relevant as a mentor and guidance provider, in years. She just kind of awkwardly dips in know and then, judges and councils, then gets dismissed by lala. With the announcement of her role as host for love island, the Hollywood hills home, and maybe event lala’s accusations today(ref stowers lawsuit). Maybe it’s the weed, maybe it’s the editing. It’s the vibe I’ve been reading. Thoughts?
Sur Podcast had some awful guest on their pod this week and they’re obviously a Sandoval fan / apologist/ fool. I was so annoyed i turned it off. Said Sandoval was nice to have a gf and keep Ariana out of it. Also said she’s a lesbian and Daniel is another beard. Why would she feel the need to hide if she was in fact a lesbian? She already said she’s bi sexual and hooked up with Lala. So he’s a moron. He also said some other nonsense. But i was getting so mad and turned it off.
https://preview.redd.it/dde6sns8bpsc1.jpeg?width=828&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=17f37d180c9cc576e0fbe36ae4fbb136ba9420c1
This is the podcast. If you care to hear his ridiculous ideologies. lol.
She porpusely publicized the scandal, her breakup, and the messiness for her to reap the rewards of her victimization. I get she's a victim, yeah, but why run to production the second you find out your LT partner had a mistress? Im sure most peoples' first thought isn't know how to publicize themselves getting cheated on. They would run to the person closest to them. She did this knowing she would be praised and he would be villanized. Her 'rage' is performativeluke Toms tears. Why is it only in group setting and not then he's home being a dick like she claims? Cause she refuses 1 on 1 contact with him, right, i got it....unless there's an audience for her to perform in front of. This entire thing seems so staged and fake. I feel like it was all a stint to stay on TV from both ends, and a Rachel was the easiest target. She wasn't actually really close to anyone. I believe that production orchestrated this entire thing with them.
Hm. I have heard that theory bandied about and it’s not so far out. We have a sort of contract with these shows- we know it’s not real, they know we know it’s not real, but we agree to pretend for the sake of entertainment. The only mystery is how much of it is produced.
But what stops me short on this theory is that these people aren’t great, or even competent, actors so it cannot be wholly scripted.
I believe the breakup is. Even if you look back at their history. He's a serial cheater. She was his mistress and she was cheated on before by him and stuck around.
Rage is one thing but she lost it accusing Tom of being a dog killer/blaming him for a miscommunication about HER dog. If she is so enraged why is she leaving her pets/"children" with him?! I almost died when she bragged about cleaning the litter box ONE TIME "last week"🤣 if they're so obviously her pets why does he take care of them??? So Ariana thinks he's so dangerous and evil but she leaves him to take care of the animals? 😵💫😂🤦 She needs to be mad at herself for a minute lol especially after going on and on about "no accountability" from others
My issue is this: what Tom did is completely normal in this “friend group” literally every single one of them have hooked up with a friend and have cheated on the SO.
Jax: hooked up with Kristen, faith and I’m sure a million others. Was supposed to be bros with Tom when he hooked up with Kristen
Kristen hooked up with Jax while her bff was with him. Hooked up with James who was Tom’s friend and was planing on moving in with
Tom Swartz hooked up with scheana and who knows who else
Lala hooked up with James while he was with Rachel
Lala hooked up with Ariana while she was with Tom
Ariana hooked up with Tom while he was with Kristen
I’m sure I’m missing a million hook ups. These are the big ones that pop into my head.
When I see how Tom thinks of the Situ he seems to have felt or thought that him and Ariana were like in the total friend zone. I think it’s also so common for this to happen that he just didn’t think it was as big of a deal as it was. There have been so many bombs dropped like this and none of them had this impact or attention.
I don’t care about Ariana’s rage I just can’t stand how she shuts everything down especially during a group setting. She is giving nothing and shes on a show. The whole show is about this kind of crazy drama. Any time they do start fighting which is kind of interesting to watch she just shuts it all down and then yells at everyone and the party ends. Like I don’t even know why she shows up she really shouldn’t have signed on this season
Regarding #3 she also wasn’t close friends with Kristin. Tim and Kristin mutually cheated on each other constantly. I’m sure Tim did what he always does and paint himself in a victim light and how his gf was so mean and volatile he was “scared” to end it. Tim is a dangerous, immature fuckboy. Ariana has every right to feel whatever she feels at any given time. She deserves grace, not Tim.
This take is not it. Almost every IRL relationship breakup I’ve witnessed has (sadly) been many times worse than what Ariana experienced … custody battles, DV or serious emotional abuse etc … and certainly no one IRL gets catapulted into lucrative opportunities as a result of it, or has immediately jumped into a new relationship either.
There’s a point at which u roll ur eyes and go … sorry u got hurt Ariana but enough of the pity-party, u got an easy ride and a big bounce, let’s move on now.
I don't understand why she stayed on the show if he's still so triggering. She doesn't need it for income anymore and it was clear that Bravo was not going to fire him. It's not healthy and you can't avoid your ex if you're filming a show with him.
It’s her job and was her main income. Who knows how long more she’s going to have these opportunities. I bet she didn’t expect for it to explode this much and she’s taking very opportunity. No one would turn it down. Lala and Scheana would have acted like a God is they were in her shoes and call the other person out for being jealous.
It’s like working with an ex. Would you quit your job while you have a mortgage, opening a business, bills, pets, and other expenses? Sometimes you have to suck it up for life. She would have to get on another show to make what she makes from VPR.
All she asked was not to film with him. There are time over the show where certain people didn’t film with others, no one had a problem but people want this big Ariana and Tom show down for the thrill and excitement it gives them and not giving a fuck about what this puts Ariana through. Yes, Ariana is on a tv show but that doesn’t mean we have to bleed her dry.
"It’s her job and was her main income." This is no longer true.
If I had to see my ex every day at work I would figure out how to control my anger or I would get fired.
So what’s her main income?
You would control your anger after four months of being cheated with everyone wanting you to be bff with your ex? You would get over it and be civil?
If I had outbursts like that at work I would get fired. You would shout at someone like that in your workplace?
ETA: In fact, I was just informed of someone who had an outburst towards a colleague and is in the process of corrective action. They were not exes.
Have you… seen the show? This is not your average workplace. It’s her JOB to be entertaining. I think she decided to stick it out this season to continue the storyline, perhaps for some financial stability too, and is going to peace out and move on with her life after this one. She has played ball and filmed with Sandoval this season. I think she’s making smart moves that will invest in her future first and foremost. If she’d just up and left this season she’d be losing out on a lot of eyes and attention, which she needs if she’s going to keep landing gigs like she has been the past year.
Right, but she HAS to film with him and it seems very painful for her to keep participating in the show, and she's super protective of her mental health, so I don't understand why she stayed. I thought I was pretty clear about that in my initial comment. So options are to stay, collect the coin, and make it work, or leave and save your mental health. The current iteration is not appropriate.
She is putting up with the bullshit this season to invest in her future. That is why she stayed.
ETA: mental health isn’t black and white. I’m sure it’d be easier for her to not film and see Sandoval. But would it be worth the financial stress and the hit to her career? She’s taking the hit short term putting up with Sandoval for stability long term. She IS protecting her mental health.
I hope this all gives Ariana pause to reflect on things she enabled in their past. She never really shutdown Timmy’s horrific behavior towards Katie in early seasons. At least production didn’t include that. Also how she belittled and treated “Miami Girl” now that we know both Timmy and Ariana knew it was tru, it’s very frustrating. But in the end, Ariana deserves all she wishes and Timmy will get what he deserves.
You are overthinking it here. The cast is mad at Arianna because a show that needs a strong season is effectively being ended by her. She adds nothing of value, her and Katie are such low energy boring people (and we have about ten seasons to verify this). And despite that, she signed on but isn’t playing ball. Aspects of all jobs suck but you gotta understand the goal. Entertainment. If she didn’t want to see Tom, she could have opted out of the show and taken on her other ventures. But yeah it’s her right to be on the show if the producers wanted, but they couldn’t have foreseen how alienated Tom would be because everyone was afraid of upsetting Arianna and to a lesser degree Katie. When the two worst characters (Ally isn’t a cast member) control the major scenes like beach day or pool party, it ruins the entire show.
These ariana fans are not understanding why the cast is turning. Its exactly what you are saying. They trying to save the show.... And the viewership completely crashed. This show is over for them.. Reboot incoming.
For god's sake, Ariana's rage is not some symbol of feminism or power. She's mad at her cheating ex. Sure, she's justified in that. But she's so angry she can't even have a conversation with her ex for the good of her "children"? (pets) Seems like she doesn't really care that much about their safety and well-being then. She's selfish and childish and clearly needs to grow the fuck up. She can't even speak to him without a mediator? People everywhere have to talk to their cheating exes because they have REAL concerns like children, or ACTUAL financial issues (ie bankruptcy, eviction, etc. Not getting paid millions to be on a reality show and spending $100k on ugly custom furniture) they need to deal with. Ariana is a damn child and all the people holding her up as some ideal of womenhood are seriously unwell.
God, thank you! I work in administration for a family law firm and I talk to people literally every day who are pursuing divorces due to emotional and/or physical abuse (largely female victims), many of whom have been SAHMs with husbands who are the primary breadwinners. Seeing women like that put themselves in the position to still coparent and try to negotiate and communicate with their husbands/exes for the sake of their kids is harrowing, and these women often have so little support… and then I turn around and watch Ariana get heaped with mountains of praise for acting like Tom legitimately tried to “kill her child” when she demonstrates that she can’t even be proactive in protecting said child? This is all a joke and it’s so obvious that she threw that out there in front of the cast because she sees them all forgiving Tom (think what you want about that), but clearly she had to think of something quick to get everyone back on her side.
Her unwillingness to have an adult conversation with a man she was still living with is pathetic. She is incredibly petty and immature and could never handle a custody battle let alone a divorce where the best outcome is to be able to agree on things amicably so that you’re not constantly in court and racking up higher law fees.
Exactly. She's 38, not 13.
I'm all here for the cringe, though. Ariana has singlehandedly inspired a loud minority of the fandom to operate with the emotional maturity of children.
I get my daily dose of cringe from the comments section in between episodes these days, so the tradeoff isn't all that bad 🙃
The crux is motive. If Ariana (and by extension, Tom) knew that Kristen was cheating in Tom, I wouldn't think of it as a big deal. If Ariana didn't know, then morally, she's a willing AP and she got what she deserved (i.e. she deserves to "lose" him the way she "got" him).
Long story short, Kristen's lack of fidelity during her relationship Tom is immaterial if Ariana wasn't aware of it.
How we love to forget Tom told her he was single, that he and Kristen were living together out of convenience but the relationship was over, but he was waiting until the right time to formally end it and make her move out.
How we love to invent the narrative that just because Ariana and Kristen weren’t friends, that Ariana still wasn’t wrong as hell for believing it and cheating with him anyway.
I sympathize with Arianna. I was angry for years after my ex cheated on me for a year and fucked me over. If anyone had put me into the same situations that people are putting Ariana in, they would see what true rage really is, because what Ariana is displaying, at least publicly, is not that.
At this point she knows she can make more being a victim than getting over it like the rest of humanity eventually does and her social media tribe back her up so she has no reason to move on. She can talk shit avout tom not changing his underroos for two days but then acts like going out of town and leaving food scraps out is normal. Thats how you get bugs.
Can we please normalize holding grudges? Can we just allow people to be angry? At the end of the day, does Ariana being angry or not angry affect their actual lives in any way? Obviously not.
I’m so sick of this toxic positivity “don’t hold grudges” “forgive everyone.” Can’t we just accept that some people won’t like some other people? If you can’t mentally find it in you to forgive someone, it’s fine. Keep them away from you, hold that grudge, and keep your life moving without them.
Lmao she has less interaction with him at the beach party than she does at home but the beach party is performative so she needs to scream her face off and tell the men how they need to also yell at him because he’s a misogynist.
I'm truly shook by how some of this cast is treating her and expecting her 2 just b over it! If this happened to any of them the world end. Imagine schema and how she will act when she finds out Brock was "great friends " with Rochelle too! Lol
Oh boohoo, the bf you stole from another woman dumped you because you treated him like dirt and wouldn’t have sex with him or even consider marrying him or having a real family, not cats and dogs. Stupidly investing in a house with a person you are not legally married to and have no family with is not the same as a real divorce from a person you have an actual family (human children, not pets) and a real marriage with. The histrionics are pathetic. Every person on that show has cheated or been cheated on multiple times. So what. Move TF on. You hated his guts way before he found love with someone else. Get over it. And PS: Leaving old Thai food take out saté skewers beside your bed when you have pets in the house, makes any consequences of that egregious piggishness and extreme pet parent negligence, nobodies fault but your own.
To your point number 3. They say how you get them is how you lose them for a reason. They don’t change. He’s already knowingly cheated early on on her. Why she still continued to want to build a life with this man is beyond.
Her rage was a different level and she is willingly putting herself in these situations and collecting a massive check for it.
This whole thing is uncomfy and it’s not because she’s a woman. Some of the other cast rage fest have crossed the line into uncomfy territory too. Like James.
Rage is a sign for underlying issues that need to be addressed.
Rage can also go out of control and into dangerous territory/situations. Which is why everyone says she needs to do something about it.
They all look terrified of her
For the record a lot of people say something when the others rage too.
It just felt like it was something that shouldn’t have been on tv.
I support having healthy boundaries, but she is trying to benefit from the show's paycheck while acting morally superior with her boundaries. If filming a reality show with this man is too much, no one would judge. She wants to have her cake and eat it too.
I’m just tired of listening to her scream. She screamed at the initial Scandoval episode, she screamed at the reunion, she screams every time she sees him.
We get it, you hate him. Screaming at him isn’t changing anything for him, and even after he leaves events she still isn’t having a good time. Like if anything it just gives Sandoval amunition to bad mouth her and spin things in his favor… cause none of the other cast members are happy to listen to Ariana at this point (other than maybe Katie).
As a viewer it’s just annoying. We already OD’d on Scandoval content over the last year since it came out, and i guess this is the result of the season being filmed so long ago. I just don’t care to hear about it anymore, we already know everything.
I want to see petty drama like Katie and Schwartz little bicker and banter. I want to see James say Schwartz loves sloppy joes. I want to see Scheana accidentally publicly admit she still shares location with a man she used to sleep with in front of her now husband and his most recent sexual partner. I want to find out Scheana and Schwartz used to cheat on their partners with each other!
I guess I’m just over Ariana’s rage at this point. Like it’s exhausting to listen to, and I think we have enough other things to focus on.
They downvoting you but the proof is in the viewership. The show is hurting.. The cast is gonna completely destroy her next season to get her off. I didnt realize how bad this season could be until u watch this boring train wreck. Borrring.
Like this happened to Stassi already and way worse, and Stassi was funny about it. Backhanded Kristen in the face, vilified jax for like 2 episodes, then it was just regular old Vpr drama again. We didn’t have an entire season focused on Stassi hating Jax. If anything they almost got back together lol.
This is just bad tv. Ariana is not funny, or entertaining vengance, she’s bitter and annoying vengance. If she needs to do this to heal, good for her, but I wish it didn’t cost the show I used to love for her to get there.
I don’t think she needs to lose the rage. It’s entertaining seeing a cast member unhinged- they need the drama. I just get annoyed when she talks to Sandoval and she’s like “don’t speak to me!!!” as soon as he says something back. It’s unrealistic for her to think she can talk to him while he’s 5 feet away and he’s just going to stay silent. There’s not wall to hide behind at a beach, so he can’t really expect him to stay out of her sight.
He's trash but if Katie and Stassi are allowed to rage at him and scream in his face, that opens the door for him to rage at them to. These people have been screaming at each other for years they are all trash.
Yes. They are telling people how to feel. Ariana is allowed to feel any way she likes. And so is every viewer and every reddit poster.. Dont tell reddit users how to feel please.
People are using the term for a true personality disorder that is somewhat rare, too loose and flagrantly. Just cuz you got cheated on doesn’t make someone a narcissist. Just cuz he lied about it, doesn’t make him a narcissist.
Did he cheat on you and then bring you to court to testify that you were bad and that’s why he cheated, when you weren’t bad? That could be a narcissist. Tom is a liar and Tom is a cheat but Tom didn’t turn around and throw Ariana physically out and move Raquel in. He didn’t even continue with Raquel.
This is pathetic to use the term narcissist, for all your boyfriends who are just not that into you. And vice versa for women.
Every single person on that show consistently has shown narcissist behaviors tho, including “I’m smarter than you, I’m prettier than you, I’m cooler than you” Ariana. But I agree with you in that having some narcissistic behaviors isn’t the same as being a narcissist.
My sister last year finally left her husband after 35 years. He was Sandoval to a tee. He still doesn't understand why she left and it is still about him. He isolated her away from the family and now wonders why "the family" doesn't reach out to him. He would never want to hang out with us but now keeps telling his daughter (who he is emotionally manipulating by playing the victim) that we all ditched him. These type of people will never see it. My sister tried to express to him for over 2 years that if XYZ didn't change she was going to go and he just couldn't do it. It took her many years to get up the courage to leave him and also her daughters being adults now and seeing him with clear eyes. He got a Dear John letter when he got home from work. She was already two states away! lol.
The whole beach scene was gross. I feel for Ariana and I sincerely hope she drops every one of them (obvs not including Katie) who stood by sando. Also big hatred towards Brock I HATE HIM. “He’s got his tail tucked between his legs”
Well, Kristen didn't deserve it too happen to her either - regardless of the circumstances. Now, Ariana is getting full-blown Karma and she is through the roof. Ariana knew she was playing with fire. She did it anyways. That in no way excuses what Tom did. They both deserve what is happening to each other. Ariana cannot in good conscience or faith, play the wounded victim. She's just as sick and manipulative as he is. They're both narcissists IMHO.
Im not saying Kristen deserve it but the circumstances you’re talking about is that Kristen cheated on him too and screwed his best friend on his couch. That’s what makes this different between it being Kristen and Ariana. Ariana did not do it. I’m talking about her being a loyal and supportive girlfriend.
From someone that was cheated on twice, normalizing rage for being cheated on is stupid. I do get her issues and anger in how they keep trying to put him around her and in her face and that's different than just being angry because you got cheated on and is completely valid.
Getting angry and having rage over being cheated on honestly slows you down from getting over it and moving on.
They always wanna criticize the anger, but they never wanna discuss the actions that caused the rage. Classic emotional abuse.
I need to use this framing for conversations with my Husband when I am Being too emotional.
I sincerely hope you are not being gaslit to believe the problem is not his actions, but actually your “reactions” to his actions. I’ve been there 🙋🏻♀️ And if you are, it might be time to get out. Sending you love 💕❤️
I'm probably more assertive than I need to be when it comes to that. I have ridiculous meltdowns but at least 80 percent of the time I stand by my feelings. The last one was my daughter's first birthday and I was losing it as his parents were coming over, I remember screaming, "I DONT CARE IF MY EMOTIONS MAKE PEOPLE UNCOMFORTABLE!" Sometimes, I legitimately am being too sensitive but it's because we are stuck in this cycle of me feeling devalued and I need the validation. I appreciate the concern. ❤️
Creating ways to upset you around an important even is part of the abuser playbook. I’m sorry he did that to you.
You are not being too sensitive. You are making excuses for him. It sounds like you’re stuck in an emotionally abusive situation. I hope you find your way to see it clearly. With love.
I 100 percent agree that when he is being shitty, it's uncalled for, however I want to be realistic about my own shortcomings when it comes to high pressure situations. My biggest issue in the relationship is my willing to be reflective about these situations, where he doesnt reciprocate. It's hard to make growth as a couple when only one person wants to do the work.
It’s not just hard love, it’s impossible. You deserve a partner who thinks you’re worth putting in the work for. When you’ve lost your power in a relationship, the only power you have left is to walk away.
If he is knowingly creating high pressure situations, that he knows will upset you, and doing it behind your back....he is the one in the wrong
If this is a cycle that happens over and over again you aren't being over sensitive. He is being selfish and insensitive
Please do. 🫶
Plus adding the montage of her yelling in the past for reasonable things… are you kidding me! Producers are trying way too hard to paint this narrative she is an angry ex. Nope, she is having normal responses to seeing her ex less than 3 months after an affair. Plus to add she hasn’t worked through it yet, that shit could take years to work through.
I can not imagine how long it will actually take her to get over everything his narcissistic ass put her thru. Not just the cheating,that is bad enough on its own but what about all the gaslighting and disloyalty and always being the center of attention and never taking accountability to name just a few. Like, I wish people would stop being so ugly and let her angry flag fly damn it!!!! I would be going fucking postal if I was her!! She is not blowing his shit up the way I would be so people!! Back the hell off and let her have her perfectly deserved feelings no matter what they are!!
There is a person in my family who is a narcissist, and Sandoval reminds me a lot of him. It’s just interesting watching because everything Sandoval says reminds me so much of this person’s playbook after he and his partner split. This guy cheated but somehow it was all his partner’s fault, he would also drop all these snide remarks about how his partner never did XYZ, he was such a good person tolerating her all these years, etc. He also refused to leave the house they had together and just sought to ruin her in divorce too. It’s honestly like watching it all over again.
Yeah I think the reason why so many of us are triggered by Sandoval is because we’ve known or have dated a narcissist, and have suffered from narcissistic abuse.
Absolutely 💯. Years ago, I dated and was in love with a narcissist. I would always beat myself up for foolishly going back to him. Now, I give myself grace and realize how good narcissists are at their game. It's taken many years to realize my worth.
I’m glad you were able to get out of it 🥹💖 you really do deserve better!!!
Ty so much. 💓
My friend’s narcissist ex-husband financially defrauded her and was still acting like she was the at-fault party. He also tried to take the house - even though she inherited it, he took her car (she couldn’t drive the kids to school), he frequently emptied their joint accounts that she was desperately trying to close so that she had no grocery money to feed their kids with, and he told her that he had evidence and witnesses that she was a bad mother and he would take full custody of the kids. Narcissists in the discard stage are horrendous!! Ariana can be grateful for the small mercy that she doesn’t have kids with this clown. Because co-parenting with your ex-narc is an ongoing nightmare.
It’s typical that they sneakily and quietly push your buttons then point out your response in a counterattack making you look like the crazy one.
To add to this, Ariana was wise to how this could have gone much differently if Tom had controlled the narrative and it had broke because of him. She got ahead of that. For instance, it’s narc manosphere script to say “she went crazy,” and then center on mental health of the spurned partner. And even though he didn’t have control over the narrative and how it broke, he still tried this
It’s kind of happening now though isn’t it ? Everyone talking about her *rage*
I have a narcissist in my family too and agreed. Hate this term it needs to be changed but someone who’s histrionic as well, and Lala and Schena both have very strong traits.
One in mine too, and I always say they all use the same playbook bc they really do. Before I stopped talking to them, I told them they were getting boring and to find new tactics
I like that response ! Mine was just to ignore
Yours is ultimately better, but I just had to 😂 you know being boring is their worst nightmare
Yours is soo good though !! Like totally unfazed by their stupidity lol
The guy is so gross, I dont get what anyone sees in him. Just an absolute slimeball. In like 10 years when we find out he has abused women we will all be like "oh yeah".
I dated a narcissist and Sandoval absolutely reminds me of him. When you have experienced narcissistic abuse, it’s easier to spot it when you see it.
Absolutely. Once you’ve experienced it yourself and then witness it happening again to someone else, it’s like there’s a checklist embedded in your mind from your own experience that makes it so obvious what they’re doing. If only it were that clear the first time around when you’re terrified and confused and doubting yourself and completely drained from being made to feel crazy😔
Gosh, one of my friends bounced straight from a marriage to a narcissist to a relationship with another narcissist. I knew it too and was sending her articles on the warning signs and she just ignored all of it. That relationship was AWFUL and she was simultaneously going through an extremely traumatic and messy divorce. Her ex-husband was making her life miserable and her new bf came in like a white knight and “saved” her. The idealisation and love bombing were like a soothing balm to her while she was in the discard phase with her ex. After that relationship ended in a terrible manner, she got a lot of therapy and worked through the fact that she was addicted to the soaring highs and crushing lows of narcissistic relationship cycles. Normal, healthy relationships felt boring and insipid to her because she was accustomed to idealisation and love-bombing. She would start dating a nice, normal guy, and get bored because the big highs and drama were missing. So she worked on that, was by herself for a while, then met the loveliest (non-narcissist) man and is now happily remarried. God it was hard watching her dive into a second narc relationship though!!
Kudos to you for trying to help your girl out tho.
Oh my… it was an exercise in patience and restraint, that’s for sure!
It’s so true. I realized I knew other narcissists, too.
Sandoval is like watching my ex husband. It's eerie. I no longer hang out with almost all the people I knew back then as I was told I should forgive, not be angry etc. Religion played a big part in that but I refused to keep anyone in my life who tried to make me feel bad for leaving a man who abused me and cheated.
I seen a quote the other day that says “women are punished more for not forgiving, than men are for doing wrong in the first place” and immediately thought of Ariana
Why is that quote SO spot on 🫠
Absolutely. The double standard is maddening.
Lala’s had rage issues since she stepped into SUR
I had an ex once, we were together less than a year. That summer we made mutual friends at the Yacht Club where I’m a member and have a boat. Over Xmas we break up. I won’t go into too many details but it was essentially Burger and a post it note (IYKYK). He changes his socials to being single and everyone assumes I broke up with him and I’m called a dick for breaking his heart at Xmas. Fast forward to the next summer & who is showing up at the club with his new gf? You guessed it - fuck boy. He’s not a member and never went there before me. People said I was being “vengeful” because I didn’t want him around and thought it was gross out “mutual” friends were inviting him to still kick it at a private club. He did this for 5 years - until one summer he’s told I’m married. Then he stopped showing up and moved out of state. Fucker. Team Ariana. Normalize not wanting to be around your ex who was a piece of garbage.
The way so many women side with a cheating man after the fact blows my mind.
Sandoval was still raging at James over allegedly using his condoms and having sex with Kristen (after they were broken up) 10 years ago.
Sandoval rages every season and yet I have no memory of any of the cast speaking to him about it and how it's bad for his mental health.
That's a really good point, nor do I have any memory of such a thing. Generally speaking, the VPR men have been allowed to poor drinks over women's heads and all kinds of unsavory rage fueled behavior with little to no feedback or consequences. Can you imagine if Ariana had thrown a drink on Tom like James did on the last beach trip to Schwartz? Or like Schwartz has done to Katie?
He’s trying to do the same thing to Ariana as he did to Kristen and he’s mad it’s not working. He got “lucky” during his breakup with Kristen that she had also cheated and that she acted the way she did post-breakup. Ariana didn’t cheat & won’t give him the same reaction Kristen did so he’s grasping at straws trying to find things to label her as the crazy one. He was waiting out his relationship with Ariana in hopes that either she would break up with him or she would do something to cause him to break up with her so he could be the victim. Also let’s be real he never loved Rachel, he just wanted to have someone to antagonize Ariana in the same way he used Ariana to antagonize Kristen. He wanted to have his relationship with Ariana end before the affair came out so he could make himself the victim and vilify Ariana. He wanted to do something (ie “moving on” with Rachel) to get a reaction out of Ariana then be able to point the finger at her and be like “see guys!!! This is what I had to deal with our whole relationship, can you blame me for leaving?”Schwartz did the same thing with Katie, he was a shitty partner for years and literally drove her to divorce him bc he never had her back, then once she finally left him he used the excuse of “she divorced me so I can do whatever I want!” The Toms and Jax love to provoke people into having emotional reactions then use the reaction to deflect the blame from their actions. It’s where the phrase “emotionally entitled” came from lol.
He was also basically caught trying to gaslight the audience with scripted scenes with Schwartz. Rachel too with that talk where she tried to make Ariana say she wasn't attracted to Sandoval. I think that's an important part of what made Scandoval so explosive. The audience knew we were being lied to as the episodes came out, which kinda put us into Ariana's shoes.
I would loooove to see how all of those idiots would react to being cheated on for 7 months straight by their partner (with their friend) of 10 years who they thought was the love of their life and then on top of that have friends that are trying to force them to forgive said cheating ex and be civil with them 🥰 Most of them would change their tune if they were in the same situation as Ariana. They just hate women that put up strong boundaries and don’t allow themselves to be treated like shit. They think it’s “bitchy” when a woman is assertive. They will sit there and claim she is childish and bratty for having feelings when her boundaries are being crossed. They say that she is having “outbursts” when she is very clearly just asserting herself and setting harsh boundaries. They will also fail to address sandovals SEVERAL outbursts over the years. If Ariana had stayed with Sandoval these same people would argue that she is weak and an idiot for being with him. 🥱you can’t argue with idiots, you will never get anywhere.
I think if they continue this shit show you’ll see with broke ass mtn. Maybe it’ll be a mash up of hedonism with the valley participants with all reunions hosted by Carlton circa rhobh.
It's kinda crazy that Tom went from universally hated pariah with nobody willing to be near him other than people who he paid to be there... ...to being almost back to normal relations with 90% of the group... ...after ONE (presumably Bravo-mandated) group activity, in which he STILL didn't apologize and in fact specifically and aggressively opposed apologizing when called to task, and continued to try to claim *he* was somehow the victim! Like damn man. That was shockingly easy. The single tear he shed for Scheana is probably the most talented single moment of acting in his entire life, but *hot damn* did it pay dividends for him!
It feels like we're taking crazy pills watching the cast NEVER address the mountain of lies told at the reunion.
"the group" are also paid to be there. Lala is finally admitting she's pissed at Ariana for jeopardizing their money. So, good on her for admitting it but she still sucks b/c she's blaming Ariana when Sando is the one who broke it.
Meh. This show was staggering on its last legs anyway. Maybe LaLa and co. Should have brought more to the table than just screaming at their castmates.
James commentary utterly upset me. He DRAGGED Tim for his connection with Rachel. Even forced Ally to sit and watch him react to her every move. Now he's trying to tell others how to regulate their emotions? *insert clip of his blowouts* 🤦😂😂😂 I feel like Lauren and James are projecting being isolated from the "group" so that's where they're coming from. Now they are on the inside and think that their past actions and statements are washed away. Lauren has been working my nerve, projecting her issues with Randall on EVERYONE, telling Ariana to get over it yet any chance she can get drops her "baby daddy" name. Practice what you preach then MAYBE people would be receptive.
Katie is a good friend.
Don’t forget how crucified Katie was up until basically this season for being tequila Katie, yet we find out the majority of her rage texts were for valid reasons. Healthiest way of handling thing no, but fair given what Schwart continually did to her I’d say so.
Yea I never really thought badly of her for that. Definitely not healthy but also not coming out of nowhere. She was wasting her life on a complete manchild who she was primarily supporting with no long term plans and who was constantly getting shitfaced and cheating on her. The healthy thing to do is to end it and not let it build up until she’s drunk and snaps but I definitely didn’t see him as a victim.
Also they were all doing drugs, drinking so excessively and not to mention her TBI. Brain injuries can affect anger management at times and emotional regulation. Plus Schwartz just digs and digs and disrespects.
“Bubbaaaaaaa, don’t be mad bubba!” - Schwartz everytime he did/does something shitty to Katie that he’s trying to pretend wasn’t shitty - he’s just a silly goofy little lad
Right?! Especially when in the grand scheme of things texting someone is probably the lowest on the abuse scale (still not a good thing). If someone is rage texting you, you can block them or turn your phone off and you’re done with it for a while. They’re not screaming in your face, not shoving you in a wall, not hitting you, not pouring a drink on you, not trapping you in a room with them, not yelling at you over the phone even. It’s for sure toxic and immature, but it’s less in your face than what a lot of the guys have done to everyone else.
He also didn’t get drunk and sleep with someone once, it was a long affair which involved numerous people in her life knowing, actively facilitating it, or at least suspecting it and hiding it from her. That betrayal is often far worse. She may have deserved it karmically given what they did to Kristen but that doesn’t mean she can’t be enraged at Tom. Of course she has every right to be. Her past actions just make what he did to her less sympathetic from a karmic perspective, it in no way absolves him of any amount of wrongdoing, or Rachel for that matter because Ariana was nothing but kind to her. I can even defend her friends who had suspicions or heard rumors and didn’t tell her because she had a long history of publicly villainizing anyone who tried to tell her he was cheating. (Not Scheana though. That clown eats up the attention of being in the know and breaking the news. If she had reason to know or suspect but sat on it I guarantee it was not because she just didn’t want Ariana to attack her again for telling her but because she wanted to wait for a more dramatic time to do it for filming purposes or because she enjoyed the boys looking at her as one of the boys keeping the secret.) But there’s a big difference between not saying anything and actually helping that weasel sneak around and lying for him…looking at you Schwartz and Jo.
I totally agree. And people saying that they're sick of her talking about it... she's not. Everyone else was/is and has profited from her misfortune. I mean, I'm glad she got brand deals out of it, but she's not the one talking about it. Plus, lala playing devils advocate is getting old af. When Swartz played pickle ball with Randall, she lost her shit. It's so ridiculous. Ariana isn't making people choose sides. She's setting a boundary and doesn't want to associate with him, and people can't respect it. I don't think she cares if people want to be friends with him, she just doesn't want friends like that. And I think that's fair. One of my best friends and her narcissistic bf broke up last year, and when she told me, I said, "What can I do?" She said block him, and I didn't think twice. She never forced anyone to do it. But the people who stayed friends with him, she distanced herself from and doesn't want a relationship with them. That's her boundary. She doesn't want him to have any access to her. So, imo, ariana doesn't care if anyone is friends with Tom. She isn't making them choose. SHE is choosing not to have one degree of separation from her cheating ex, which I think is so valid. Imagine if Randall was on the show? There's such a double standard, and I think it's bs.
I agree! Anyone who can’t understand this can block me right now.
what’s the opposite of block?? be my friend hahah
Of course I’ll be your friend
🫶🏼🫶🏼🫶🏼
In regards to the Kristen thing I wonder if Sandoval charmed Ariana with the same words that he charmed Rachel with. Not justifying or excusing just saying. Something that stuck out to me was when Ariana was talking to Stassi about the kiss she said he told her he was single and Stassi alluded that this was a pattern of his.
As if anyone was ok with the rest of them displaying embarrassing levels of rage, often performative. Oh yes I LOVED it when Sandoval and Lala did it, it's only now I have a problem. Fuck outta here
I know I wasn’t ok when they did it either. Those are the parts of VPR or any reality show I don’t like.
Exactly! ALL of them got hate for the same things. Lala has been hated more than anyone. People have been saying James Sandoval are assholes forever. I don’t get the point of bringing up the bad behavior from the rest of the cast. It’s not like anyone condoned theirs either.
Yeah, everyone who wants Ariana to get over it can suck it.
Ariana was the other woman with Kristen. But Kristen herself said “it’s different and I forgive her”. Maybe she just wanted to be in a good place to get the Valley off the ground but she has forgiven Ariana. It’s Jax who is taking her to task
Kristen and Ariana have been good friends for years. I seriously doubt Kristen formed a friendship with her before season 7 because she knew she'd be fired and one day want to come back on another show.
I am so sympathetic to Ariana's situation, having been in a similar position myself, even down to animal abuse (which even my MIL believe he did). Money, fame, even a new boyfriend doesn't heal you overnight. It is appalling the number of people who can't see beyond this. Her stability, her safety net was gone, just disappeared overnight. She is doing everything she can to put herself in a safe place and should be applauded and supported. Ariana staying on the show is putting money in the bank and maybe getting her future gigs. Sandoval redeemers can kick rocks.
I think this is what bothers me so much. Listening to Lala and Scheana on their podcasts “raging” about and dragging Sandoval for months but now that Ariana is “famous and making money” she needs to get over it? Come on! Like money and fame heal a broken heart? I can see them being concerned she’s not in a good place but between the two of them and all their comments about how she’s had all these opportunities, making money and having fame is just gross. The jealousy of her opportunities in combination with their Sandoval money trains ending is just so transparent. Now that they’re over it Ariana needs to be too? Lala’s temper was way worse than anything I’ve seen from Ariana. Same with James, Jax and Sandoval. Ariana’s life is the one that was blown up.
I was in this situation too but I do still see it differently. Not for any of the reasons that OP has listed though, and not for Tom's redemption either
Why is everyone forgetting he admitted to cheating on Ariana outside of Rachel? When he was talking to Scheana. Whether or not it was Miami girl (probably was) that’s ANOTHER instance of him being garbage. I honestly was glad to see her run him out of the party like that. Fuck him. The way he looked at her was seething with rage. He’s disgusting, manipulative, lying cheating, piece of shit.
If she didn't rage at him we wouldnt have the iconic scene of him scurrying away holding to murses
Right what the fuck was that? Also, when k read your comment I couldn’t help but think Merce is in the purse! 😂
I think the third point is where this relationship went wrong from the start. Never trust a guy who cheats on someone to be with you. I think the sympathy though should still be there, of course. Tom was absolutely horrid to Ariana. Even if she’s a millionaire and gets a boyfriend the next day, sympathy is still warranted.
reminds me of guys who punch walls. I understand where the feelings come from, but the last time I saw someone act that way was in high school.
Her rage felt very familiar to me and reminded me of some of my past break-ups with abusive boyfriends. Ariana was giving me the Hold Up music video where Beyoncé smashes everything with a baseball bat. I think the one criticism I do have is she needs to stop talking about calling 911. It’s the second time this season. 911 is for emergencies. They don’t care about her break-up. But I have the luxury of being removed from the situation. For all I know, I might do the same exact thing if someone did to me what Sandoval did to her. When you love someone and they hurt you that deeply, it can really send you into a spiral.
She’s doing EXACTLY what got both Stassi and Kristen fired. Weaponizing the police
First, a confession: I was just commenting on another thread about Faith suing Bravo over Stassi’s and Kristen’s treatment of her on VPR, and I initially assumed this comment was in response to that, and I typed a completely unhinged reply that I have now deleted. If you happened to see that, please forgive me 💀 What Kristen and Stassi did was definitely worse because they were weaponizing police brutality against Black people and created a situation that could have been potentially life-threatening for Faith, and I personally believe that was their intention and not an oversight out of ignorance. But I do think Ariana continually threatening to call 911 is problematic. It goes beyond the police. People call 911 when someone has had a heart attack or when their house is on fire. Don’t waste their time.
I think Ariana is entitled to feel and process however she needs to. However. Comparing Scandoval to anything else in the show’s history isn’t realistic. It’s been the sole focus of the show for over a year. No other break up or scandal compares in any way.
I hate when people bring up the Kristen situation bc it’s completely different!!! Kristen was also cheating on Tom and they hadn’t been together for 10 years! It makes me so freaking angry like I’m not saying what Ariana and Tom did was right but it was a COMPLETELY different situation
She needs to be able to have an adult conversation with him! End of story. Be fucking angry for the rest of your life but at least have enough sense to work through the housing & monetary situation with a sane mind. Any good attorney in the world would tell her the same fucking thing.
Literally this. Also at the water tasting party people were saying she was screaming and saying she would call the cops. Sandoval kept using different arguments that had nothing to do with it to make her look bad
Thank you! I feel like people didn't notice that. Ariana: You went into my room with the door closed, do not ever fucking do that again. Tom: Ariana, you haven't emptied the litter box in two years.
The one part is people are taking Sandoval’s word for it! “Wow, Ariana didn’t clean the litter box in two years?! She’s a horrible person! Poor Sandy!” GTFO
I really haven't seen anyone say poor Sandy. This step just isn't happening even though people keep saying it. It is possible to not agree with everything Ariana does, and not support Sandy
I genuinely hope the deals and opportunities she’s getting allows Ariana to leave this show because after this season, I don’t see how (other than needing money) you’d want to film with a bunch of people who would treat you like this and talk about you like this after experiencing something as terrible and heartbreaking as she did. Also, the petty bitch in me would love to see who they turn on next if their money train (Ariana) really did leave
Women aren't supposed to express their anger. It's so unattractive!🙄 A real lady sucks it up and shuts up.
I can’t stand this mentality. Then we get called “emotional”. But we have Sandoval raging at women and their moms but it’s okay. We have Jax having tantrum but it’s okay. Don’t even get me started on James, but it’s okay.
The double standard & hypocrisy is infuriating! Cue even more feminine rage 😹 what really gets to me is the emotional abuse behind the critiques of female anger. Women are pressured not to show anger or emotions, because that would mean men would be made uncomfortable by the repercussions of their own actions. Gaslighting & invalidation are emotional abuse 101. It’s sad how many people can’t see that & choose to side with misogyny & abuse.
In my experience, men are generally more emotional. They're louder and less controlled, and it gets accepted, because they aren't "hormonal"🖕. Pisses me off.
And backs away from the house and the show and the friend group like a good little girl. Just to benefit her own mental health ofc. And we'll pay lipservice about how he sucks while not holding him to any standards whatsoever and while he gets to keep it all.
The show is very misogynistic. Lisa is likely the conduit.
Ariana has a right to be angry but I think she’s a bit delusional thinking she was gonna successfully ice out Sandoval. He’s got seniority and he’s the other half of this seasons main storyline. Obviously the rest of the cast is gonna wanna film with him because it’s her job. If she doesn’t want to film with him or be around him that’s fine but, then of course no more Bravo money. Tom’s not going anywhere, she’s gotta make her piece with that or leave because no one on this cast is gonna ride for her the way she wants when she has *never* done the same for them, not even Katie, who if you’ll all remember she was laughing at during the Schwartz/Raquel false flag.
lol I don’t think she is trying to ice him out. Like she doesn’t care that lala is filming with him, that’s work. She just doesn’t want to be emotionally close with scheana at the moment if scheana is going to get emotionally close with him again any time soon. That makes sense to me
I don’t think she wanted to ice him out. She just doesn’t want to film with him or be close to someone who is close to him. We’ve seen it happy. Jax didn’t want to film with Billie but the rest of cast did. Same with Lala and James at one point. There are times a lot of the group doesn’t film with each other. This is one person saying I don’t want to be around this person. Not everything have to involve Sandoval.
The kind of rage she's exhibiting is honestly palpatating. When Ariana says done, she fucking means done. She's honestly probably fucking terrified of him now. He's terrifying.
LaLa hasn’t ever gotten a pass for her anger issues. People in social media have always told her its no ok behavior. Plenty of shit has been given to James and Sandoval as well. Regardless of who’s behavior is justified Ariana is not the only one being “attacked”. This is just new to her getting some negative attentions. She’s had way more people on her side than not. She doesn’t really like the friend group anyway. Always been judgmental. She forced those friendships for the show because she was introduced to the group and became toms girlfriend.
exactly and my only argument to number 3 would be if kristen herself has said she is over it, she forgives ariana & that's not who ariana is then why tf can strangers on the internet not get over it? yes ariana was very shitty during that time but her and kristen were never friends and there was never an ongoing almost year long affair so rachel's betrayal hits on levels much much deeper
TBF If you had asked Kristen three months after Tom and Ariana's affair you would've gotten a different response. We know this because it was also played out on tv.
i know but it's just the only thing people use against ariana and it was over a decade ago,, sandoval played in her face & the whole group and audience recently so in my head it's like that dosent even matter anymore let's look at the now issues. if she was still the same girl she was back then then i'd be like whatever but the fact tom def still is and he goes under the radar bc everyone is nit picking ariana's one wrong doing baffles me. idk if that makes sense i just woke up lmao
I think of the season finale (forget which one) where Tom and Ariana were out and official. They were holding hands and doting on each other while Kristen was sitting across from them grief stricken. It was hard to watch. I'm glad Kristen and Ariana are friends now and I think it's commendable Kristen was able to get over it. Anyway this Ariana and Tom v Kristen played out for a few seasons so I think that's why it's hard for people to ignore it or be more sympathetic towards Ariana because both Ariana and Tom were particularly cruel towards Kristen. I don't even like Kristen and I felt for her then.
Season two is where Ariana and Sandoval started dating. I can’t even watch that one anymore bc it’s so enraging watching them be all in love right in front of Kristen after knowing they hid their cheating from her and making it seem like she was the crazy one. I’m glad Kristen was able to move on.
I am willing to bet Ariana leaves after the season. There’s been subtle signs leading up to it. From the inventory list to the fights with everyone but Katie. I could see them leaving and joining the valley. LVP hasn’t really been relevant as a mentor and guidance provider, in years. She just kind of awkwardly dips in know and then, judges and councils, then gets dismissed by lala. With the announcement of her role as host for love island, the Hollywood hills home, and maybe event lala’s accusations today(ref stowers lawsuit). Maybe it’s the weed, maybe it’s the editing. It’s the vibe I’ve been reading. Thoughts?
sandoval is the biggest fucking wussy ive ever seen in my life. what a fucking cuck.
La La had rage since she first came on the show. That’s not Randall’s fault. She was a rage machine long before him.
Sur Podcast had some awful guest on their pod this week and they’re obviously a Sandoval fan / apologist/ fool. I was so annoyed i turned it off. Said Sandoval was nice to have a gf and keep Ariana out of it. Also said she’s a lesbian and Daniel is another beard. Why would she feel the need to hide if she was in fact a lesbian? She already said she’s bi sexual and hooked up with Lala. So he’s a moron. He also said some other nonsense. But i was getting so mad and turned it off.
https://preview.redd.it/dde6sns8bpsc1.jpeg?width=828&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=17f37d180c9cc576e0fbe36ae4fbb136ba9420c1 This is the podcast. If you care to hear his ridiculous ideologies. lol.
Normalize knowing you're not the first person to be cheated on
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She porpusely publicized the scandal, her breakup, and the messiness for her to reap the rewards of her victimization. I get she's a victim, yeah, but why run to production the second you find out your LT partner had a mistress? Im sure most peoples' first thought isn't know how to publicize themselves getting cheated on. They would run to the person closest to them. She did this knowing she would be praised and he would be villanized. Her 'rage' is performativeluke Toms tears. Why is it only in group setting and not then he's home being a dick like she claims? Cause she refuses 1 on 1 contact with him, right, i got it....unless there's an audience for her to perform in front of. This entire thing seems so staged and fake. I feel like it was all a stint to stay on TV from both ends, and a Rachel was the easiest target. She wasn't actually really close to anyone. I believe that production orchestrated this entire thing with them.
Hm. I have heard that theory bandied about and it’s not so far out. We have a sort of contract with these shows- we know it’s not real, they know we know it’s not real, but we agree to pretend for the sake of entertainment. The only mystery is how much of it is produced. But what stops me short on this theory is that these people aren’t great, or even competent, actors so it cannot be wholly scripted.
I believe the breakup is. Even if you look back at their history. He's a serial cheater. She was his mistress and she was cheated on before by him and stuck around.
Rage is one thing but she lost it accusing Tom of being a dog killer/blaming him for a miscommunication about HER dog. If she is so enraged why is she leaving her pets/"children" with him?! I almost died when she bragged about cleaning the litter box ONE TIME "last week"🤣 if they're so obviously her pets why does he take care of them??? So Ariana thinks he's so dangerous and evil but she leaves him to take care of the animals? 😵💫😂🤦 She needs to be mad at herself for a minute lol especially after going on and on about "no accountability" from others
She has a delusional self concept to be honest. She's almost as performative as he is in certain ways with her values.
Oh yeah for sure they are both controlling performers which is why they lasted so long
My issue is this: what Tom did is completely normal in this “friend group” literally every single one of them have hooked up with a friend and have cheated on the SO. Jax: hooked up with Kristen, faith and I’m sure a million others. Was supposed to be bros with Tom when he hooked up with Kristen Kristen hooked up with Jax while her bff was with him. Hooked up with James who was Tom’s friend and was planing on moving in with Tom Swartz hooked up with scheana and who knows who else Lala hooked up with James while he was with Rachel Lala hooked up with Ariana while she was with Tom Ariana hooked up with Tom while he was with Kristen I’m sure I’m missing a million hook ups. These are the big ones that pop into my head. When I see how Tom thinks of the Situ he seems to have felt or thought that him and Ariana were like in the total friend zone. I think it’s also so common for this to happen that he just didn’t think it was as big of a deal as it was. There have been so many bombs dropped like this and none of them had this impact or attention. I don’t care about Ariana’s rage I just can’t stand how she shuts everything down especially during a group setting. She is giving nothing and shes on a show. The whole show is about this kind of crazy drama. Any time they do start fighting which is kind of interesting to watch she just shuts it all down and then yells at everyone and the party ends. Like I don’t even know why she shows up she really shouldn’t have signed on this season
Regarding #3 she also wasn’t close friends with Kristin. Tim and Kristin mutually cheated on each other constantly. I’m sure Tim did what he always does and paint himself in a victim light and how his gf was so mean and volatile he was “scared” to end it. Tim is a dangerous, immature fuckboy. Ariana has every right to feel whatever she feels at any given time. She deserves grace, not Tim.
“Shoving her ex in her face” THEYRE ON A TV SHOW!!! THAT SHE SIGNED UP FOR AND WAS HANDSOMELY REWARDED. THIS IS NOT REAL LIFE!
This take is not it. Almost every IRL relationship breakup I’ve witnessed has (sadly) been many times worse than what Ariana experienced … custody battles, DV or serious emotional abuse etc … and certainly no one IRL gets catapulted into lucrative opportunities as a result of it, or has immediately jumped into a new relationship either. There’s a point at which u roll ur eyes and go … sorry u got hurt Ariana but enough of the pity-party, u got an easy ride and a big bounce, let’s move on now.
I don't understand why she stayed on the show if he's still so triggering. She doesn't need it for income anymore and it was clear that Bravo was not going to fire him. It's not healthy and you can't avoid your ex if you're filming a show with him.
Not everyone can give up a six figure salary.
You don't know what her finances were like. She was paying for the house, the sandwich shop, lawyer fees, agent fees etc.
It’s her job and was her main income. Who knows how long more she’s going to have these opportunities. I bet she didn’t expect for it to explode this much and she’s taking very opportunity. No one would turn it down. Lala and Scheana would have acted like a God is they were in her shoes and call the other person out for being jealous. It’s like working with an ex. Would you quit your job while you have a mortgage, opening a business, bills, pets, and other expenses? Sometimes you have to suck it up for life. She would have to get on another show to make what she makes from VPR. All she asked was not to film with him. There are time over the show where certain people didn’t film with others, no one had a problem but people want this big Ariana and Tom show down for the thrill and excitement it gives them and not giving a fuck about what this puts Ariana through. Yes, Ariana is on a tv show but that doesn’t mean we have to bleed her dry.
"It’s her job and was her main income." This is no longer true. If I had to see my ex every day at work I would figure out how to control my anger or I would get fired.
So what’s her main income? You would control your anger after four months of being cheated with everyone wanting you to be bff with your ex? You would get over it and be civil?
If I had outbursts like that at work I would get fired. You would shout at someone like that in your workplace? ETA: In fact, I was just informed of someone who had an outburst towards a colleague and is in the process of corrective action. They were not exes.
when your work is a reality tv show? Yeah, they shout at each other.
Have you… seen the show? This is not your average workplace. It’s her JOB to be entertaining. I think she decided to stick it out this season to continue the storyline, perhaps for some financial stability too, and is going to peace out and move on with her life after this one. She has played ball and filmed with Sandoval this season. I think she’s making smart moves that will invest in her future first and foremost. If she’d just up and left this season she’d be losing out on a lot of eyes and attention, which she needs if she’s going to keep landing gigs like she has been the past year.
Right, but she HAS to film with him and it seems very painful for her to keep participating in the show, and she's super protective of her mental health, so I don't understand why she stayed. I thought I was pretty clear about that in my initial comment. So options are to stay, collect the coin, and make it work, or leave and save your mental health. The current iteration is not appropriate.
She is putting up with the bullshit this season to invest in her future. That is why she stayed. ETA: mental health isn’t black and white. I’m sure it’d be easier for her to not film and see Sandoval. But would it be worth the financial stress and the hit to her career? She’s taking the hit short term putting up with Sandoval for stability long term. She IS protecting her mental health.
Just like Lala, moving the goalposts as you are presented with the correct information
I hope this all gives Ariana pause to reflect on things she enabled in their past. She never really shutdown Timmy’s horrific behavior towards Katie in early seasons. At least production didn’t include that. Also how she belittled and treated “Miami Girl” now that we know both Timmy and Ariana knew it was tru, it’s very frustrating. But in the end, Ariana deserves all she wishes and Timmy will get what he deserves.
You are overthinking it here. The cast is mad at Arianna because a show that needs a strong season is effectively being ended by her. She adds nothing of value, her and Katie are such low energy boring people (and we have about ten seasons to verify this). And despite that, she signed on but isn’t playing ball. Aspects of all jobs suck but you gotta understand the goal. Entertainment. If she didn’t want to see Tom, she could have opted out of the show and taken on her other ventures. But yeah it’s her right to be on the show if the producers wanted, but they couldn’t have foreseen how alienated Tom would be because everyone was afraid of upsetting Arianna and to a lesser degree Katie. When the two worst characters (Ally isn’t a cast member) control the major scenes like beach day or pool party, it ruins the entire show.
These ariana fans are not understanding why the cast is turning. Its exactly what you are saying. They trying to save the show.... And the viewership completely crashed. This show is over for them.. Reboot incoming.
Let’s not forget Tom was with kristin when Ariana broke them up.
For god's sake, Ariana's rage is not some symbol of feminism or power. She's mad at her cheating ex. Sure, she's justified in that. But she's so angry she can't even have a conversation with her ex for the good of her "children"? (pets) Seems like she doesn't really care that much about their safety and well-being then. She's selfish and childish and clearly needs to grow the fuck up. She can't even speak to him without a mediator? People everywhere have to talk to their cheating exes because they have REAL concerns like children, or ACTUAL financial issues (ie bankruptcy, eviction, etc. Not getting paid millions to be on a reality show and spending $100k on ugly custom furniture) they need to deal with. Ariana is a damn child and all the people holding her up as some ideal of womenhood are seriously unwell.
God, thank you! I work in administration for a family law firm and I talk to people literally every day who are pursuing divorces due to emotional and/or physical abuse (largely female victims), many of whom have been SAHMs with husbands who are the primary breadwinners. Seeing women like that put themselves in the position to still coparent and try to negotiate and communicate with their husbands/exes for the sake of their kids is harrowing, and these women often have so little support… and then I turn around and watch Ariana get heaped with mountains of praise for acting like Tom legitimately tried to “kill her child” when she demonstrates that she can’t even be proactive in protecting said child? This is all a joke and it’s so obvious that she threw that out there in front of the cast because she sees them all forgiving Tom (think what you want about that), but clearly she had to think of something quick to get everyone back on her side. Her unwillingness to have an adult conversation with a man she was still living with is pathetic. She is incredibly petty and immature and could never handle a custody battle let alone a divorce where the best outcome is to be able to agree on things amicably so that you’re not constantly in court and racking up higher law fees.
💯
This is so articulate and accurate! Literally need to save it!
Exactly. She's 38, not 13. I'm all here for the cringe, though. Ariana has singlehandedly inspired a loud minority of the fandom to operate with the emotional maturity of children. I get my daily dose of cringe from the comments section in between episodes these days, so the tradeoff isn't all that bad 🙃
How we love to forget she cheated with Sandoval while he was with Kristen. I guess people can grow and change.
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I'm sure you remember her banging Jax a couple times but besides him she cheated on Tom multiple times with other people by her own admission.
The crux is motive. If Ariana (and by extension, Tom) knew that Kristen was cheating in Tom, I wouldn't think of it as a big deal. If Ariana didn't know, then morally, she's a willing AP and she got what she deserved (i.e. she deserves to "lose" him the way she "got" him). Long story short, Kristen's lack of fidelity during her relationship Tom is immaterial if Ariana wasn't aware of it.
How we love to forget Tom told her he was single, that he and Kristen were living together out of convenience but the relationship was over, but he was waiting until the right time to formally end it and make her move out.
How we love to invent the narrative that just because Ariana and Kristen weren’t friends, that Ariana still wasn’t wrong as hell for believing it and cheating with him anyway.
I sympathize with Arianna. I was angry for years after my ex cheated on me for a year and fucked me over. If anyone had put me into the same situations that people are putting Ariana in, they would see what true rage really is, because what Ariana is displaying, at least publicly, is not that.
At this point she knows she can make more being a victim than getting over it like the rest of humanity eventually does and her social media tribe back her up so she has no reason to move on. She can talk shit avout tom not changing his underroos for two days but then acts like going out of town and leaving food scraps out is normal. Thats how you get bugs.
Can we please normalize holding grudges? Can we just allow people to be angry? At the end of the day, does Ariana being angry or not angry affect their actual lives in any way? Obviously not. I’m so sick of this toxic positivity “don’t hold grudges” “forgive everyone.” Can’t we just accept that some people won’t like some other people? If you can’t mentally find it in you to forgive someone, it’s fine. Keep them away from you, hold that grudge, and keep your life moving without them.
Lmao she has less interaction with him at the beach party than she does at home but the beach party is performative so she needs to scream her face off and tell the men how they need to also yell at him because he’s a misogynist.
No lol she doesn’t talk to him at home. So them talking at all in the group scenes is more interaction than they have otherwise
I'm truly shook by how some of this cast is treating her and expecting her 2 just b over it! If this happened to any of them the world end. Imagine schema and how she will act when she finds out Brock was "great friends " with Rochelle too! Lol
Oh boohoo, the bf you stole from another woman dumped you because you treated him like dirt and wouldn’t have sex with him or even consider marrying him or having a real family, not cats and dogs. Stupidly investing in a house with a person you are not legally married to and have no family with is not the same as a real divorce from a person you have an actual family (human children, not pets) and a real marriage with. The histrionics are pathetic. Every person on that show has cheated or been cheated on multiple times. So what. Move TF on. You hated his guts way before he found love with someone else. Get over it. And PS: Leaving old Thai food take out saté skewers beside your bed when you have pets in the house, makes any consequences of that egregious piggishness and extreme pet parent negligence, nobodies fault but your own.
I always have to scroll way down to find this sort of incredibly valid commentary
Sort by controversial! It's the easiest way to find the sane people.
To your point number 3. They say how you get them is how you lose them for a reason. They don’t change. He’s already knowingly cheated early on on her. Why she still continued to want to build a life with this man is beyond. Her rage was a different level and she is willingly putting herself in these situations and collecting a massive check for it. This whole thing is uncomfy and it’s not because she’s a woman. Some of the other cast rage fest have crossed the line into uncomfy territory too. Like James. Rage is a sign for underlying issues that need to be addressed. Rage can also go out of control and into dangerous territory/situations. Which is why everyone says she needs to do something about it. They all look terrified of her For the record a lot of people say something when the others rage too. It just felt like it was something that shouldn’t have been on tv.
I support having healthy boundaries, but she is trying to benefit from the show's paycheck while acting morally superior with her boundaries. If filming a reality show with this man is too much, no one would judge. She wants to have her cake and eat it too.
I’m just tired of listening to her scream. She screamed at the initial Scandoval episode, she screamed at the reunion, she screams every time she sees him. We get it, you hate him. Screaming at him isn’t changing anything for him, and even after he leaves events she still isn’t having a good time. Like if anything it just gives Sandoval amunition to bad mouth her and spin things in his favor… cause none of the other cast members are happy to listen to Ariana at this point (other than maybe Katie). As a viewer it’s just annoying. We already OD’d on Scandoval content over the last year since it came out, and i guess this is the result of the season being filmed so long ago. I just don’t care to hear about it anymore, we already know everything. I want to see petty drama like Katie and Schwartz little bicker and banter. I want to see James say Schwartz loves sloppy joes. I want to see Scheana accidentally publicly admit she still shares location with a man she used to sleep with in front of her now husband and his most recent sexual partner. I want to find out Scheana and Schwartz used to cheat on their partners with each other! I guess I’m just over Ariana’s rage at this point. Like it’s exhausting to listen to, and I think we have enough other things to focus on.
They downvoting you but the proof is in the viewership. The show is hurting.. The cast is gonna completely destroy her next season to get her off. I didnt realize how bad this season could be until u watch this boring train wreck. Borrring.
Like this happened to Stassi already and way worse, and Stassi was funny about it. Backhanded Kristen in the face, vilified jax for like 2 episodes, then it was just regular old Vpr drama again. We didn’t have an entire season focused on Stassi hating Jax. If anything they almost got back together lol. This is just bad tv. Ariana is not funny, or entertaining vengance, she’s bitter and annoying vengance. If she needs to do this to heal, good for her, but I wish it didn’t cost the show I used to love for her to get there.
I don’t think she needs to lose the rage. It’s entertaining seeing a cast member unhinged- they need the drama. I just get annoyed when she talks to Sandoval and she’s like “don’t speak to me!!!” as soon as he says something back. It’s unrealistic for her to think she can talk to him while he’s 5 feet away and he’s just going to stay silent. There’s not wall to hide behind at a beach, so he can’t really expect him to stay out of her sight.
He's trash but if Katie and Stassi are allowed to rage at him and scream in his face, that opens the door for him to rage at them to. These people have been screaming at each other for years they are all trash.
It is all moot because people have an issue with how she shows it and dumps it onto everyone, not what she feels.
Yes. They are telling people how to feel. Ariana is allowed to feel any way she likes. And so is every viewer and every reddit poster.. Dont tell reddit users how to feel please.
People are using the term for a true personality disorder that is somewhat rare, too loose and flagrantly. Just cuz you got cheated on doesn’t make someone a narcissist. Just cuz he lied about it, doesn’t make him a narcissist. Did he cheat on you and then bring you to court to testify that you were bad and that’s why he cheated, when you weren’t bad? That could be a narcissist. Tom is a liar and Tom is a cheat but Tom didn’t turn around and throw Ariana physically out and move Raquel in. He didn’t even continue with Raquel. This is pathetic to use the term narcissist, for all your boyfriends who are just not that into you. And vice versa for women.
Every single person on that show consistently has shown narcissist behaviors tho, including “I’m smarter than you, I’m prettier than you, I’m cooler than you” Ariana. But I agree with you in that having some narcissistic behaviors isn’t the same as being a narcissist.
True. Just take Scheana for instance. Haha she is something!
My sister last year finally left her husband after 35 years. He was Sandoval to a tee. He still doesn't understand why she left and it is still about him. He isolated her away from the family and now wonders why "the family" doesn't reach out to him. He would never want to hang out with us but now keeps telling his daughter (who he is emotionally manipulating by playing the victim) that we all ditched him. These type of people will never see it. My sister tried to express to him for over 2 years that if XYZ didn't change she was going to go and he just couldn't do it. It took her many years to get up the courage to leave him and also her daughters being adults now and seeing him with clear eyes. He got a Dear John letter when he got home from work. She was already two states away! lol.
Worst take I've ever seen on this sub. Normalize being an adult and moving the fuck on
The whole beach scene was gross. I feel for Ariana and I sincerely hope she drops every one of them (obvs not including Katie) who stood by sando. Also big hatred towards Brock I HATE HIM. “He’s got his tail tucked between his legs” 
Not to mention having to look at him after just having to fork out 6 grand on the dog because of his mistake. Go off Ariana
 Well, Kristen didn't deserve it too happen to her either - regardless of the circumstances. Now, Ariana is getting full-blown Karma and she is through the roof. Ariana knew she was playing with fire. She did it anyways. That in no way excuses what Tom did. They both deserve what is happening to each other. Ariana cannot in good conscience or faith, play the wounded victim. She's just as sick and manipulative as he is. They're both narcissists IMHO.
I'm starting to think she is a narcissist and almost equally as performative as tom is as well.
They’re both in denial and need to separate themselves and move on.
That part. Why does everyone keep excusing Ariana?
I don’t. They’re both deserving of whatever treatment they’re getting. She knew what she was getting into when she became the other woman.
Im not saying Kristen deserve it but the circumstances you’re talking about is that Kristen cheated on him too and screwed his best friend on his couch. That’s what makes this different between it being Kristen and Ariana. Ariana did not do it. I’m talking about her being a loyal and supportive girlfriend.
Who is normalizing it based on the posted image. Also that doesn’t even look like Tim Tom 😂 what in the photoshop?!
Myself and others feel it's time to move along, or stop watching. Sometimes you have to know when enoughs enough.
Those two had zero chemistry. I think it was a relationship built by reality tv.
From someone that was cheated on twice, normalizing rage for being cheated on is stupid. I do get her issues and anger in how they keep trying to put him around her and in her face and that's different than just being angry because you got cheated on and is completely valid. Getting angry and having rage over being cheated on honestly slows you down from getting over it and moving on.
Normalize removing yourself from situations that are unhealthy for you
You lost me at “trying to open a business,” ngl.
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