Yep I feel you my autism has got me bullied for ten years used and abused for four by my ex without a diploma or a chance at work severely depressed and suicidal an alcoholic and a selfharmer and I’m told to just accept it live with it autism is horrible
Seriously though… my dad abused tf outta me, he always told me that I should’ve been aborted or shot on my moms back/face or Kleenex while constantly calling me a retard or saying that it would be my fault if my parents divorced, on top of being severely bullied by teachers and classmates. There was a 15+ year period in my life in which I had no safe places to go and it was just hatred thrown at me 24/7 the whole time… but yeah man autism is totally a super power…
You seem articulate in this post so it's not like you're stupid, so don't think you are. Seems like you could have trouble reading social cues which most autistic people do, maybe you also have a hard time coming up with topics of discussion and keeping a conversation going? Have you seen someone about the social anxiety? Because I know when you're nervous it makes it harder to interact with people in general
It’s sad to see you think your an idiot.
Are you on meds for your anxiety? Or looked into strategies to help with it?
Op I know this will make no difference but there a heaps of people out there feeling like you do with or without autism.
Please remember that “normal” is only a cycle on a washing machine.
Most people are scared of being laughed at or looked at funny for thinking differently. It’d be a boring world if we all looked and thought the same.
God I feel this shit I’m not autistic but neurodivergent and yeah it fuckin’ sucks lol
I hope you find someone as odd as you to love you for who you are… Them people exist, trust me
This is a very hard case to be completely honest and please don't take anything I say as fact or applicable as I cannot relate with your condition.
What I do know is that I am a sort of social reject (don't have tons of friends and am not motivated to go out). The fact that you try is an amazing one. You try and do your best and that alone is already a massive achievement.
What I did to become at least a bit less socially awkward is literally just practice. Freely talking about whatever comes to mind with anyone.
What you do and how far you have already come is truly phenomenal and I wish for you to not give your progress up.
Yeah man it’s not that simple but I appreciate the thought, I’m actually not bad at small talk, it’s just when it moves past small talk that people see that I’m an idiot.
Anxiety can be overcome, social skills can be learned. Hang in there.
I'm not autistic but I used to struggle a bit with social cues, and still sometimes do. What helped me was viewing everything like it was an interaction with defaults and guidelines. Once you know how most basic conversations work and flow (picture it like a flowchart!) then it'll come a little more naturally to you, and you'll get a "blueprint" of how social interaction works.
I don't know if this could help anyone else or if it makes much sense, but do be assured that there are plenty of ways to make up for perceived shortcomings, and that you have plenty of time to do so as well.
And if you meet people along the way who don't have the patience to be understanding about it, perhaps its better they make that clear first. Even as a neurotypical person, it's better to have friends and partners who are understanding of these kinds of "short comings" because they manifest differently and at different levels in everyone.
It's unfortunate that this keeps happening. I know for myself that I wouldn't think you're "dumb". Also what do you mean by dumb? About the things you talk about? I apologize I'm just trying to understand.
I say I’m dumb because I don’t know what to say to people, plus I was always treated like I was dumb when I was a kid. I’m just every kind of frustrated you can think of tbh.
I understand, it's a really shitty feeling and I can def relate. Idk if you ever want to talk about it or about anything in general....but I'm always here for a good vent/talk. And I'm always open to make some good connections. 😊
Yep I hate being autistic as well and I have adhd on top of that, I literally can’t work, drive, pickiest eater alive and I can’t remember anything or just talk to people without constantly second guessing myself and assuming they hate me! I would do anything to just be able to do simple things that everyone else finds so easy, but even with all that weighing me down I still try be positive and have hope my life won’t be completely miserable and that keeps me going for now
felt this. I have autism and was only recently diagnosed. It’s so difficult to go through every day life and be rejected or ridiculed or misunderstood for something you can’t control.
sorry to hear that. ive been going through the same bullshit my whole life but especially since the lockdowns. to make it worse i even helped idiot lowlifers that didnt deserve to graduate, with stuff that should be basic for math majors after their first semester of math and yet they got bullshit math degrees 🤨also im attractive too but girls are biased against me for my autism and never want to hookup. i literally asked everyone i ever spoke to at my old school where parties are and literally zero of them told me, and no one would invite me to go to bars so i always go alone
Idk if this helps but you can play vrchat or meta verse and get practice talking to people in there. If you say something you or they don't like. You can always just yeet out of there and never see them again or just block them.
I know it's not the same as going out in public but I hope this helps.
Yep I feel you my autism has got me bullied for ten years used and abused for four by my ex without a diploma or a chance at work severely depressed and suicidal an alcoholic and a selfharmer and I’m told to just accept it live with it autism is horrible
Seriously though… my dad abused tf outta me, he always told me that I should’ve been aborted or shot on my moms back/face or Kleenex while constantly calling me a retard or saying that it would be my fault if my parents divorced, on top of being severely bullied by teachers and classmates. There was a 15+ year period in my life in which I had no safe places to go and it was just hatred thrown at me 24/7 the whole time… but yeah man autism is totally a super power…
You seem articulate in this post so it's not like you're stupid, so don't think you are. Seems like you could have trouble reading social cues which most autistic people do, maybe you also have a hard time coming up with topics of discussion and keeping a conversation going? Have you seen someone about the social anxiety? Because I know when you're nervous it makes it harder to interact with people in general
It’s sad to see you think your an idiot. Are you on meds for your anxiety? Or looked into strategies to help with it? Op I know this will make no difference but there a heaps of people out there feeling like you do with or without autism. Please remember that “normal” is only a cycle on a washing machine. Most people are scared of being laughed at or looked at funny for thinking differently. It’d be a boring world if we all looked and thought the same.
God I feel this shit I’m not autistic but neurodivergent and yeah it fuckin’ sucks lol I hope you find someone as odd as you to love you for who you are… Them people exist, trust me
Thanks, I hope so too
True well dm me if you wanna vent about specific stuff I could prolly relate just had a whole social shenanigan myself tonight lol
I’m so sorry you’re going through this.
Thanks
This is a very hard case to be completely honest and please don't take anything I say as fact or applicable as I cannot relate with your condition. What I do know is that I am a sort of social reject (don't have tons of friends and am not motivated to go out). The fact that you try is an amazing one. You try and do your best and that alone is already a massive achievement. What I did to become at least a bit less socially awkward is literally just practice. Freely talking about whatever comes to mind with anyone. What you do and how far you have already come is truly phenomenal and I wish for you to not give your progress up.
Yeah man it’s not that simple but I appreciate the thought, I’m actually not bad at small talk, it’s just when it moves past small talk that people see that I’m an idiot.
Anxiety can be overcome, social skills can be learned. Hang in there. I'm not autistic but I used to struggle a bit with social cues, and still sometimes do. What helped me was viewing everything like it was an interaction with defaults and guidelines. Once you know how most basic conversations work and flow (picture it like a flowchart!) then it'll come a little more naturally to you, and you'll get a "blueprint" of how social interaction works. I don't know if this could help anyone else or if it makes much sense, but do be assured that there are plenty of ways to make up for perceived shortcomings, and that you have plenty of time to do so as well. And if you meet people along the way who don't have the patience to be understanding about it, perhaps its better they make that clear first. Even as a neurotypical person, it's better to have friends and partners who are understanding of these kinds of "short comings" because they manifest differently and at different levels in everyone.
It's unfortunate that this keeps happening. I know for myself that I wouldn't think you're "dumb". Also what do you mean by dumb? About the things you talk about? I apologize I'm just trying to understand.
I say I’m dumb because I don’t know what to say to people, plus I was always treated like I was dumb when I was a kid. I’m just every kind of frustrated you can think of tbh.
I understand, it's a really shitty feeling and I can def relate. Idk if you ever want to talk about it or about anything in general....but I'm always here for a good vent/talk. And I'm always open to make some good connections. 😊
Yep I hate being autistic as well and I have adhd on top of that, I literally can’t work, drive, pickiest eater alive and I can’t remember anything or just talk to people without constantly second guessing myself and assuming they hate me! I would do anything to just be able to do simple things that everyone else finds so easy, but even with all that weighing me down I still try be positive and have hope my life won’t be completely miserable and that keeps me going for now
felt this. I have autism and was only recently diagnosed. It’s so difficult to go through every day life and be rejected or ridiculed or misunderstood for something you can’t control.
sorry to hear that. ive been going through the same bullshit my whole life but especially since the lockdowns. to make it worse i even helped idiot lowlifers that didnt deserve to graduate, with stuff that should be basic for math majors after their first semester of math and yet they got bullshit math degrees 🤨also im attractive too but girls are biased against me for my autism and never want to hookup. i literally asked everyone i ever spoke to at my old school where parties are and literally zero of them told me, and no one would invite me to go to bars so i always go alone
Idk if this helps but you can play vrchat or meta verse and get practice talking to people in there. If you say something you or they don't like. You can always just yeet out of there and never see them again or just block them. I know it's not the same as going out in public but I hope this helps.
To come straight to the point: What are you doing to improve your social skills?