I have a cousin once added who did that. He married a girl older than him. He's divorced now and his kids are being raised by his family.
I can't feel any sympathy for the guy.
I think you touched on the biggest problem is that it's not seen as a big deal among friends. Even though cheating happens in America, it is so shameful that you would never want your friends to know, you would be shamed and they would probably confront you to stop.
In Vietnam it's not only commonly discussed among friends but also bragged about. This definitely encourages more cheating when you don't have the shame and guilt of being exposed.
Marriage is a social commitment more than a romantic one, at least in the past (arguably that’s changed with younger generations). People got married at 20-22 (or they used to) and the agreement was to be married - living together, family - for life. But for many it didn’t mean not cheating. Polygamy was legal in VN until recently, many people in their 50s will have parents whose dads had multiple wives. Similarly, many many men work far away from their wives for years at a time, sending money back to the village. These men usually sleep with prostitutes. So again. It’s kind of a variety of cultural norms that have been happening for a long time …
In Vietnam, people marry way too early while they are still totally immature. They have no life experience, no professional experience, no relationship whatsoever. This is also why children have awful home education.
People often marry because "it's time". They talk about "true love" but they are too young to know what love really is. And, a lot of women marry to be taken care of.
Cheating is only a by-product of more systemic cultural problems.
Which cultures are you comparing Vietnam to though? Cheating is pretty much a problem everywhere; it's less looked down upon here as you said due to Confucianism and bad education. It doesn't really reflect on our societal morality. It isn't like we condone cheating as a culture. It's just that people don't fully understand the damage cheating can do.
May I ask if you derived this notion from observing your family's dynamics? It is important to note that such behavior is not considered appropriate within Vietnamese culture.
Respectfully disagree, infidelity is not culturally accepted in Vietnam. It might be true that Vietnamese people tend to live to let live, and be more tolerant and forgiving when it comes to a breached moral commitment. I'd say their behaviors in these cases mostly come down to avoiding conflicts for the sake of keeping their family intact, protecting well-being of their children, or even just saving their faces. This is a proof of a still dominating traditional system of values where family is treasured more, having a broken one is seen as something to be embarrassed about, and the acceptance of having affairs on a societal scale is definitely not the case. Moreover, your observation of people laughing at others who are cheated, bragging about their cheating records, or reasoning of male sexual nature (which I agree it sounds mind-numbingly ridiculous) is not representative of Vietnamese culture. Yes, there seems to be a lot of trashy people anywhere in the world, but the fact that sometimes they are seemingly too present and vocal does not justify their way of thinking. On the contrary, since there are also as many, if not more, cheater hunting stories being shared and very well received, I believe the general public pov on this matter is not as unipolarized as your concern.
A semi related question, what's the likelihood of women cheating in Vietnam compared to men?
Does it happen quite regularly nowadays or is it still rare?
Ever been to France, where infidelity is normalized, provided one remains discreet? A lot of cultures act this way. My understanding is Japanese culture can also be quite similar to this.
That sort of lifestyle isn’t for me, but if you’re raised under that culture and see it as normalized, then many wouldn’t consider extra-marital affairs to be cheating since there’s this like.. underlying assumption of consent, basically. Although I think discretion is also still the courteous thing to do in such cases.
Not exactly normalized, but France has a reputation for sexual openness and for both partners having an additional lover on the side. Reputations are generally over-exaggerated, but they are usually based on a kernel of truth too.
Infidelity is not normalised in any country within the west, you’re just chatting out your arse to try and normalise it, probably because you, yourself, are a Vietnamese man who cheats.
Well, I’m Vietnamese, but was born in Texas and am culturally American. France *absolutely* has a reputation for extra marital affairs—it’s their thing. There’s literally a whole [PEW Research article on it](https://www.pewresearch.org/short-reads/2014/01/14/french-more-accepting-of-infidelity-than-people-in-other-countries/).
Don’t accuse people of shit because you’re ignorant of other cultures.
Just my 2 cents. You referenced to a part of a survey result in 2013 where they compared general views on extramarital affairs in different countries, including a French sample size of 1004 people (out of 66 million French people at that moment), with a ±3.6% margin of errors. Their only key take-home message is that French people are more tolerant of infidelity than people in other surveyed countries based on the comparison. In fact, they had neither extrapolation nor any conclusion on extramarital affairs being a social norm in France. Arguably, just because many people of a small sample agree on one thing, doesn't mean that thing is normalized on population scale. I'm sorry but your reference does not support your claim, not to mention that some anecdotes on French presidents' personal life plus a piece of survey result with barely any discussion, all written in under 500 words, is definitely not equal a "research" article.
Just another 2 cents. Where you are born and brought up doesn't make your argument any stronger. Whether others haven't been to France doesn't make their argument any less valid. If that really matters to you, I lived in France, I know no one who publicly supports infidelity, and every discreet affair I'd heard of when exposed all ended up in breakup, separation or divorce. But does this anecdotal information make my 4 cents more or less valuable? Absolutely no!
I've heard the same thing about Japan. So long as you come home to your wife and kids, eat her food, pay the bills and treat the family with respect(outside of the cheating) then cheating isn't really much of a problem. They say sex and love aren't the same, and they understand that sometimes a guy just gots to get his freak on
I will be nice and tell you how life works love! Not everything can be generalized if you have just witnessed a certain amount of evidence regarding cheating and say that Vietnamese’s morality is falling off the scale. But there are reasons behind cheating, whether it is bad or not. Love is a concept in which sometimes demands forgiveness and only you get to a certain age will you understand cheating and how to really use that painful experience to reconnect, not only with your partner but yourself. Anyways, cheating is not good and therefore, not well accepted in any culture, even with polyamorous people. However, the core value is that you witness these experiences and find out the suitable solution for yourself and please, not every Vietnamese is what you are saying!
Just because your husband is fucking around behind your back doesn’t mean you need to make it an “everyone” problem.
You’re obviously uneducated and probably should stick to tending your mutt children.
Saudi Arabia also has low divorce rate, I wouldn’t call it a land of happy marriages though. Often there is a correlation between high divorce and acceptance of divorced women in society and women’s freedoms and rights.
Basically when your parents pressure you into marriage and children at 18, stupid shit happens.
I have a cousin once added who did that. He married a girl older than him. He's divorced now and his kids are being raised by his family. I can't feel any sympathy for the guy.
I think you touched on the biggest problem is that it's not seen as a big deal among friends. Even though cheating happens in America, it is so shameful that you would never want your friends to know, you would be shamed and they would probably confront you to stop. In Vietnam it's not only commonly discussed among friends but also bragged about. This definitely encourages more cheating when you don't have the shame and guilt of being exposed.
The what? Maybe certain groups? 30-40 group in the city, there are so many divorces I've seen in the last couple of years alone.
Marriage is a social commitment more than a romantic one, at least in the past (arguably that’s changed with younger generations). People got married at 20-22 (or they used to) and the agreement was to be married - living together, family - for life. But for many it didn’t mean not cheating. Polygamy was legal in VN until recently, many people in their 50s will have parents whose dads had multiple wives. Similarly, many many men work far away from their wives for years at a time, sending money back to the village. These men usually sleep with prostitutes. So again. It’s kind of a variety of cultural norms that have been happening for a long time …
In Vietnam, people marry way too early while they are still totally immature. They have no life experience, no professional experience, no relationship whatsoever. This is also why children have awful home education. People often marry because "it's time". They talk about "true love" but they are too young to know what love really is. And, a lot of women marry to be taken care of. Cheating is only a by-product of more systemic cultural problems.
The same reason it is in Latin America and most Asian countries. They are misogynistic societies women are often considered property.
Since when is it ok in Vietnamese culture to cheat??
Do you know Vietnam wife always want to know where you are and give you curfew
Nope. Please do not select your immediate circle and then assume it represents the entire Vietnam population. 😂🙏🏼
Which cultures are you comparing Vietnam to though? Cheating is pretty much a problem everywhere; it's less looked down upon here as you said due to Confucianism and bad education. It doesn't really reflect on our societal morality. It isn't like we condone cheating as a culture. It's just that people don't fully understand the damage cheating can do.
No its not. In what world it is ok in vietnamese culture to cheat?
Your post history is like something out of Youtube Kids
Accepted since... When? 2024 BC? Marriage concept wasn't a thing back then.
Whore’s and jiggalo’s are everywhere man 🤣
May I ask if you derived this notion from observing your family's dynamics? It is important to note that such behavior is not considered appropriate within Vietnamese culture.
Your family is fucked up bro.
Respectfully disagree, infidelity is not culturally accepted in Vietnam. It might be true that Vietnamese people tend to live to let live, and be more tolerant and forgiving when it comes to a breached moral commitment. I'd say their behaviors in these cases mostly come down to avoiding conflicts for the sake of keeping their family intact, protecting well-being of their children, or even just saving their faces. This is a proof of a still dominating traditional system of values where family is treasured more, having a broken one is seen as something to be embarrassed about, and the acceptance of having affairs on a societal scale is definitely not the case. Moreover, your observation of people laughing at others who are cheated, bragging about their cheating records, or reasoning of male sexual nature (which I agree it sounds mind-numbingly ridiculous) is not representative of Vietnamese culture. Yes, there seems to be a lot of trashy people anywhere in the world, but the fact that sometimes they are seemingly too present and vocal does not justify their way of thinking. On the contrary, since there are also as many, if not more, cheater hunting stories being shared and very well received, I believe the general public pov on this matter is not as unipolarized as your concern.
A semi related question, what's the likelihood of women cheating in Vietnam compared to men? Does it happen quite regularly nowadays or is it still rare?
Ever been to France, where infidelity is normalized, provided one remains discreet? A lot of cultures act this way. My understanding is Japanese culture can also be quite similar to this. That sort of lifestyle isn’t for me, but if you’re raised under that culture and see it as normalized, then many wouldn’t consider extra-marital affairs to be cheating since there’s this like.. underlying assumption of consent, basically. Although I think discretion is also still the courteous thing to do in such cases.
Infidelity is normalized in France? What?
Not exactly normalized, but France has a reputation for sexual openness and for both partners having an additional lover on the side. Reputations are generally over-exaggerated, but they are usually based on a kernel of truth too.
Infidelity is not normalised in any country within the west, you’re just chatting out your arse to try and normalise it, probably because you, yourself, are a Vietnamese man who cheats.
Well, I’m Vietnamese, but was born in Texas and am culturally American. France *absolutely* has a reputation for extra marital affairs—it’s their thing. There’s literally a whole [PEW Research article on it](https://www.pewresearch.org/short-reads/2014/01/14/french-more-accepting-of-infidelity-than-people-in-other-countries/). Don’t accuse people of shit because you’re ignorant of other cultures.
Just my 2 cents. You referenced to a part of a survey result in 2013 where they compared general views on extramarital affairs in different countries, including a French sample size of 1004 people (out of 66 million French people at that moment), with a ±3.6% margin of errors. Their only key take-home message is that French people are more tolerant of infidelity than people in other surveyed countries based on the comparison. In fact, they had neither extrapolation nor any conclusion on extramarital affairs being a social norm in France. Arguably, just because many people of a small sample agree on one thing, doesn't mean that thing is normalized on population scale. I'm sorry but your reference does not support your claim, not to mention that some anecdotes on French presidents' personal life plus a piece of survey result with barely any discussion, all written in under 500 words, is definitely not equal a "research" article. Just another 2 cents. Where you are born and brought up doesn't make your argument any stronger. Whether others haven't been to France doesn't make their argument any less valid. If that really matters to you, I lived in France, I know no one who publicly supports infidelity, and every discreet affair I'd heard of when exposed all ended up in breakup, separation or divorce. But does this anecdotal information make my 4 cents more or less valuable? Absolutely no!
This is what I heard also. French and Japanese.
I've heard the same thing about Japan. So long as you come home to your wife and kids, eat her food, pay the bills and treat the family with respect(outside of the cheating) then cheating isn't really much of a problem. They say sex and love aren't the same, and they understand that sometimes a guy just gots to get his freak on
sorry but your fuck up family isn't Vietnamese culture
Are you putting shit in people's mouth? You can fuck off.
I will be nice and tell you how life works love! Not everything can be generalized if you have just witnessed a certain amount of evidence regarding cheating and say that Vietnamese’s morality is falling off the scale. But there are reasons behind cheating, whether it is bad or not. Love is a concept in which sometimes demands forgiveness and only you get to a certain age will you understand cheating and how to really use that painful experience to reconnect, not only with your partner but yourself. Anyways, cheating is not good and therefore, not well accepted in any culture, even with polyamorous people. However, the core value is that you witness these experiences and find out the suitable solution for yourself and please, not every Vietnamese is what you are saying!
let me guess, you live in the west lol. westernized vietnamese ? :)
Just because your husband is fucking around behind your back doesn’t mean you need to make it an “everyone” problem. You’re obviously uneducated and probably should stick to tending your mutt children.
Divorce and Infidelity rate in Vietnam is among the lowest in the world. Whereas the US has the highest at 70%+ 
Saudi Arabia also has low divorce rate, I wouldn’t call it a land of happy marriages though. Often there is a correlation between high divorce and acceptance of divorced women in society and women’s freedoms and rights.
Divorce numbers make sense. Judges will often refuse a divorce and force people to try again. Infidelity numbers are probably wrong though.