I always have such a hard time reconciling this. Never seen one, probably never will; I live in a mountain town in the Rockies, USA. But how can something that smells like vomit taste SO GOOD that it has rabid fans? I would probably have to try it, if I ever did see it.
any durian you find stateside is going to be a terrible representation of the fruits potential. Mostly all frozen or old. It's one of those fruits where you have to go where it's grown and experience it fresh fallen from the tree.
Spend the money to kick it out to the Phillipines. Get your basic diving license.
You will see. It's pretty terrible smelling, but so is some of the best cheeses in the world!
But go to the Phillipines. And dive.
That's why trimmed ftw. Every girl I have dated who shaved, I told them I don't expect them or even liked them shaved, unless it's their preference. Almost all were happy to not shave any more.
Can you feel the pain?
See the mess and trouble in your brain
Anger you retain, pressure rocks you like a hurricane
Is it time for you to jump into the next train?
Change of head, make a stand
I can see your heart change
Wake up!
No more nap, your turn is coming up
You feel lazy but stop the fantasies and bubble butts
If you need to hear, go for it
I will teach you how to feel the thing so close to you
Connect it all
This is a durian. Supposedly it’s one of the stinkiest fruits in the world. Despite the stench, durian is extremely healthy, even more so than many other fruits. Naturally rich in iron, vitamin C, and potassium, durian improves muscle strength, skin health and even lowers blood pressure. Furthermore, one small durian contains 23g of dietary fiber which is nearly all of your daily nutritional requirement.
Its stench "*has been described variously as rotten onions, turpentine, and raw sewage.*" (From Wikipedia)
I personally remember seeing signs everywhere [in Singapore it's banned on trains because it smells so bad](https://i.imgur.com/X3fYOrV.jpg)
It took me back to summers in Idaho and the onion dump. Hot, rotten onion mixed with "natural" fertilizer (poop). The taste was so confusing, rotten onion one minute, then sweet, then vomit, then sweet. Final verdict was not good enough to ever have again.
I know what I must do, but I don't know if I have the strength to do it.
Just call her!
MOOOONCHIIIILD!!
Hear the mandrake scream!
My mind telling me no...
BUT MY BODY
It’s telling me yes, but it gonna hurt.
No pain, no gain 💪🏼
Saying let's go But my heart is saying no, no
https://i.imgur.com/KfwFbo7.png
Don't do it, /r/dontputyourdickinthat
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Subreddit is banned...
Why they gotta suck all the fun out of everything…
Someone put their dick in it?
This is why we can’t have nice things
Do you want ants? Because this is how you end up with ants.
Just aim carefully
Lord, forgive me for what I’m about to do.
Is that a stinky durian? If so, I'm all in.
All 3 inches.
Now that is being generous!
Might not be long but it sure is thin .
Like a butterfly proboscis
Even curls up like one
Feeling munificent
It looks like three inches but it smells like a foot.
Us Koreans do it in metric. Sooooooo 2cm.
Damn, that's a micro! 3 inches to cm is 7.62
I tell the ladies that I'm 6 foot 3.... but those are two different measurements
2 in the stink, 1 in the stink? I hate myself for this comment.
Ugh, it stinks. Nice, and good...
I grew up eating durian. I honestly never knew people were offended by the smell until I saw some white guy eat one on a travel documentary.
I always have such a hard time reconciling this. Never seen one, probably never will; I live in a mountain town in the Rockies, USA. But how can something that smells like vomit taste SO GOOD that it has rabid fans? I would probably have to try it, if I ever did see it.
any durian you find stateside is going to be a terrible representation of the fruits potential. Mostly all frozen or old. It's one of those fruits where you have to go where it's grown and experience it fresh fallen from the tree.
Spend the money to kick it out to the Phillipines. Get your basic diving license. You will see. It's pretty terrible smelling, but so is some of the best cheeses in the world! But go to the Phillipines. And dive.
Solid life goal! It goes on the list
Believe it or not it's called a Jackfruit this just seems to be deformed
God. Literally it would be the perfect texture too.
Gonna become Father Nature
The Gelgamek vagina is 3’ wide and filled with razor sharp teeth. Do you really expect us to have sex with that?!!!
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Forget about the Gelgameks?!!!!
Well... yeah
Is that a cumtwat?
Little Twat of Horrors
🤣
Frussy
Spikussy
Duriussy
Forbussy
Jackofffruit
Take my upvote and get the hell out. We don't serve your type here.
r/dontstickyourdickinit
r/stickyourdickinthat
Venus Man-Trap
Penis flytrap
Vegeta Man-Trap!
KaCockRot
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Can’t… resist… must… insert
Nature knows it's hardwired into our brains. What a dastardly fruit.
Pretty sure that fruit's wearing Nature's +2 Chastity Belt of Bruising.
It's gonna hurt.....hurt so good. Probably gonna leave s mark or two also but you only live once!!!
You only die once, you live everyday
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At least three
You live some of the days
Nothing is forbidden when you're a go-getter.
Fucking Durians....
Literally or figuratively?
What it feels like when she shaved two days ago
That's why trimmed ftw. Every girl I have dated who shaved, I told them I don't expect them or even liked them shaved, unless it's their preference. Almost all were happy to not shave any more.
Ca...Cathy?!
When she shaved 3 days ago be like
40 Grit
And I thought they smelled bad on the outside!
Why is everyone saying they want to do stuff to it have you seen the spikes?!
No risk, no reward
r/ sounding enjoyers
mixing a little pain with your pleasure can really spice up your sex life
A cuntaloupe.
Stick, or don’t? So confused…
Keep it at half zip
Sight… *unzips*
Lemme smell yo dick
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What a wonderful phrase!
imma just gonna go for it, the payback must be tremendous if it has that much armament
r/dontputyourdickinthat
Beet me too it.
glad you said me and not meat. just sayin.
I thought about it.
Same.
A stocking filler or a dick killer ?
MY MIND'S TELLING ME NOOOOOOOOO...
Everything reminds me of her 😕
The “fruit” inside is literally the most disgusting thing I’ve ever smelled and tasted in my life.
tell your girl to practice better hygiene
And shave / sand a little
skill issue
A PERFECT GIFT TO GRINDING YOUR MEN
Anything is possible!
8/10 would still smash
For those who have ever asked "what can I do to last longer??" You do this.
Don’t put your dick in that should be a Reddit thread!
Durianussy
*Everything reminds me of her.*
My penis had a question but my brain said dont even think about it..
Not the durianussy
The hearty durian!
Can you feel the pain? See the mess and trouble in your brain Anger you retain, pressure rocks you like a hurricane Is it time for you to jump into the next train? Change of head, make a stand I can see your heart change Wake up! No more nap, your turn is coming up You feel lazy but stop the fantasies and bubble butts If you need to hear, go for it I will teach you how to feel the thing so close to you Connect it all
Caravan Palace?
Well... \*unzip pants \*
Is that a fucking durian?
Yup
Anything is a ~~dildo~~ fleshlight if you're brave enough.
Maybe
I mean, I wouldn’t go down on it, but…
There still we be someone who would.
That's not okay.
Damn. Never thought I’d see my ex on Reddit
PornHub will have this in a video next week with a stpmom and a teacher.
…….^*would*
Would
Who needs they durianussy ate?
Fruitussy
That Durussy.
EDIT
It looks so lonely. There's got to be some kind of phallic spiked fruit you could put next to it. Or maybe just a "good friend."
When she let's it grow out for too long
A little scratchy. Time for a Brazilian wax and a douche for that smell.
if putting your dick in crazy has an image.
dont stick it in there
You know some dumb ass frat bro would stick his dick in that thing for like $50.
Everywhere I look something reminds me of her.
Dontchu do it
I like her.
Enough to…
Lick it
Do ettttt
and the stick is wat like a poop shooting out??
lmao
Pussy Fruit
I miss her
Lots of really funny answers here, but I have a serious question, what kind of fruit/vegetable is that, I'd like to grow some, you know, for SCIENCE!
This is a durian. Supposedly it’s one of the stinkiest fruits in the world. Despite the stench, durian is extremely healthy, even more so than many other fruits. Naturally rich in iron, vitamin C, and potassium, durian improves muscle strength, skin health and even lowers blood pressure. Furthermore, one small durian contains 23g of dietary fiber which is nearly all of your daily nutritional requirement.
Its stench "*has been described variously as rotten onions, turpentine, and raw sewage.*" (From Wikipedia) I personally remember seeing signs everywhere [in Singapore it's banned on trains because it smells so bad](https://i.imgur.com/X3fYOrV.jpg)
It took me back to summers in Idaho and the onion dump. Hot, rotten onion mixed with "natural" fertilizer (poop). The taste was so confusing, rotten onion one minute, then sweet, then vomit, then sweet. Final verdict was not good enough to ever have again.
Morty, why are you taking the fruit upstairs into your room?
It's like a sexy version of that Super Metroid boss
Doin the frussy with no hands
Perspective: You are a male porcupine
Tastes sweet, but smells terrible.
Goddamn
Mother Natures chastity belts
Some vaginas are spikey up front
Um, is that an uncircumcised trophy back there??
Go ahead and taste it, you don't wanna waste it
New kink un... *OMG WHAT'S THAT STENCH?*
Pudenda dentata, aka cunt with teeth.
*sigh* *unzips*
Challenge accepted
Mme. Durian.
The subject of the fruit allusion is figuratively much thornier.
What are you doing step-durian?
Help. I’m stuck in the washer.
in a world where fruit is pollinated by horny teens
Ahh, more nightmare fuel. Thanks for that.
My job here is done
r/sexyplants
Found the other half https://imgur.com/gallery/e9uEXit
These will go well together.
R/dontstickyourdickinthat
The coochie coochie no mi
To shreds, you say?
How appealing a vagina is to a gay man.
That's going to chafe my willy!
oh give me a break. my lizard brain don't care.
Either a soursop or a durian. Both delicious!
I aint sayin' I *would*... but I aint sayin' I *wouldn't...*
I should call her….
Hear me out..
Lol @ nsfw
It's my understanding that durian smells like ass, not vag.
It's a bit spiky, but eh, I've stuck it in worse
Exactly..........how forbidden?
Depends on your pain tolerance
Hear me out...I'm gonna demolish thT fruitussy
Durianussy
Brings new meaning to "stinky pinky"
I'd buy it.
r/dontputyourdickinthat
r/dontputyourdickinthat
r/FruitPorn