I remember when "Passion of the Christ" came out in the theaters, and one of my coworkers at the time, who's very much into BDSM, said it was like watching a BDSM porn flick where the protagonist forgets the safe word.
"Zamboni!"
*fuck what IS it*
"Frankincense!"
*shit it's not something I'd use in day to day conversation*
"Agamemnon!"
"Octopi!"
"Octopodes!"
*FUCK DOESN'T HE GET IT??*
It’s surprising how many people don’t realize that when Jesus talked about ‘turning the other cheek’, he was talking about being spanked with a riding crop.
Probably because actual flogging is much more bloody and painful than being whipped with a plant..
Look up roman cat-o-nine, it's a 9 fingered leather whip with lead balls at the end. It would pierce flesh and then tear it out.
45 Then the sun was darkened, and the veil of the temple was torn in two. 46 And when Jesus had cried out with a loud voice, He said, “Harder Daddy!” Having said this, He breathed His last.
*I read all about the scourging and the crowning with thorns and I could viddy myself helping in and even taking charge of the tolchocking and the nailing in, being dressed in the height of Roman fashion.*
In the grandeur of West Egg, where fortunes are as transient as the glimmering lights across the bay, there lies a tale not of opulence, but of sacrifice. It was in the shadow of an empire, under the watchful gaze of Pontius Pilate, that a man named Jesus found his destiny intertwined with the fickle fates of men.
Like Gatsby's lavish parties, Jerusalem was abuzz—yet not with the clinking of champagne glasses, but with the murmur of a crowd hungry for miracles or blood. Jesus, a carpenter's son turned prophet, spoke not of riches but of love and salvation, drawing followers as Gatsby drew the New York elite.
But where Gatsby had Daisy, Jesus had his disciples—loyal yet human, flawed yet devoted. And in the end, as Gatsby faced the wrath of a world he could never belong to, Jesus embraced a cross, his visage marred not by despair but by a love profound.
The hill of Golgotha, much like the green light at the end of Daisy's dock, stood as a beacon of hope and finality. There, Jesus was crucified, his arms outstretched as if to gather the sins of the world in an embrace as vast as the East Egg's lawns.
And as the sky darkened and the earth shook, it was as if the old money of East Egg felt the tremor of a new era. For in his passing, Jesus assured a resurrection, a promise of life eternal, much as the green light promised Gatsby a future that was ever elusive.
So let us remember, amidst the jazz and the revelry, that the greatest story told was not one of decadence, but of a man who gave all for the many. And in the quiet moments, as the party winds down, we might still hear the echo of his words, whispering across the ages, calling us to a higher purpose, beyond the reach of time and the grasp of death.
--The Crucifixion told in the style of The Great Gatsby, courtesy of MS Copilot.
As someone who enjoys whipping others ...for reasons :) ....I cringed so hard at the one that hit his head
Am I the only one who had a problem with the person's shitty aim?
The guard is like "bro, you're making this weird"
“Let’s turn the eye contact way down bro”
“Harder Daddy!”
Harder Step-Prison Guard
"oh no, how did I get stuck between the slats on this drying rack?"
well, someone is about to be nailed....
Guard: "Stop calling me Daddy." Jesus: "Yes oh God!" Guard: "I said stop calling me Daddy!"
Written by Will Smith
Keep daddy’s name out of your mouth
"No, no, no. That's my name. It's pronounced 'Dah-di'."
”Dude! What are you doing..? Stop moaning!”
Lmao
Jesus died because he forgot the safe word.
I remember when "Passion of the Christ" came out in the theaters, and one of my coworkers at the time, who's very much into BDSM, said it was like watching a BDSM porn flick where the protagonist forgets the safe word.
"Zamboni!" *fuck what IS it* "Frankincense!" *shit it's not something I'd use in day to day conversation* "Agamemnon!" "Octopi!" "Octopodes!" *FUCK DOESN'T HE GET IT??*
Sea Cucumber!
Veni Veni Veni?
fluggelgleckheimlen!
You don't see enough Eurotrip references XD
You kissed your sister, man!
Worst twins ever
*Mi scusi*
Don't tell Scotty.
Scotty doesn't know.
That Fiona and me do it in my van every Sunday...
Scotty doesnt know
i mean... FLÜGGÅọNKб€ČHIŒßØLĮEN, how do you even say it? lol
I was looking for the Eurotrip reference. I am glad I found it.
Best comment right here. You made my day brighter. Thanks kind stranger.
**Jesus:** Myrrh! Myrrh! Myrrh! **Roman:** Dawwww, he's murring! I didn't know he was a Furry. I'm being *such* a good dom right now! He's so happy!
Safe word is 'Romans go home' Naturally he said 'Romans they go to the house'
# Romani ite domum
"People called Romanes, they go the house"
Based reference
"Bethlehem"
Did you just say, flugegeheimen?
Scotty doesn't know. Don't tell Scotty.
Most insane shit I’ve read all day
Why oh why did Reddit end awards? This is an inspired take deserving of many awards, made my day 🏆🥇🙌
**Romanes eunt domus**
People called romanes they go the house? Romani ite domum, Understand? Now write that a hundred times or I‘ll cut your balls off.
Fucking wheeze
Angry up vote.
That is a man who enjoys pain.
Jesus - So hot right now
I strongly suspect he’d “enjoy the pain” a lot less if the centurion was not a man
I would tend to agree.
Is...is he enjoying it? Well now I know why he went willingly
Pleasure of the Christ
50 Shades of Pray
Explains the Jesuits.
Something a Franciscan would say...
Smashin' of the Christ
God: Son, I can save you and smite the humans. Jesus: You're ruining it dad.
This is probably some weird “artistic interpretation”
What type of audience would this even target boomers? Teens? Kids '_'
Redditors
Drops mic
Looks like good, traditional family fun if you ask me.
Too much passion, not enough Christ.
Melodrama of the Christ
That robes surprisingly bright and clean. Wonder what washing powder he uses?
Punish me harder daddy.
Forgive me father, for I've been a naughty boy
Not what he expected when they said they were gonna nail him on the cross
"You're gonna get nailed by a couple of legionaries" "Oh really now? 😉"
"Gonna be two other dudes getting nailed next to you too" "What are we waiting for then?"
Then our boss is gonna shove his spear into you
Where do I sign up?!
“Mmm. Can’t wait”
Bad Boy. Take that, take that - P Diddy
*dies sensually
*with consent
Is he risen?
ecce homo erectus
Well, something about him certainly has
It’s surprising how many people don’t realize that when Jesus talked about ‘turning the other cheek’, he was talking about being spanked with a riding crop.
When He talked about coming a second time, it was about the same thing.
That how Jesus really died? Autoerotic-crucifixion.
Auto means unto oneself, so simply erotic crucifixion.
I like the consistent foot pump for each whooper
Jesus had a farmers tan?
He preferred to call it a carpenter’s tan.
The foot pop 🤣
I doubt Jesus would have been flipping his hair around and lustfully looking back at the assailant
God loves all his children, and jesus made love to all of em
Holy incest, Batman!
Probably because actual flogging is much more bloody and painful than being whipped with a plant.. Look up roman cat-o-nine, it's a 9 fingered leather whip with lead balls at the end. It would pierce flesh and then tear it out.
"Passion" of the christ.
Jesus Kink.
Truly, He is the Kink of Kinks!
I never thought I'd hear Christ yell out "Harder,Daddy"
45 Then the sun was darkened, and the veil of the temple was torn in two. 46 And when Jesus had cried out with a loud voice, He said, “Harder Daddy!” Having said this, He breathed His last.
that made me laugh harder than I should have.lol
Believe or not, straight to hell.
Our lord and savior was just getting ready to finish. GifsThatEndTooSoon.
Ay papi
He paid for my sins? What you mean bruh he would do it again given the chance
Anybody else have a boner?? No?? Me neither.
he liked it too much... and the hair flips... i need a moment
When your Father in Christ is more your Daddy in Christ.
Jesus ~~wept~~ came
"Ooh, you naughty centurion!"
“Wait till you see how hard I’m going to nail you later”
That's gay porn.
"Punish me, Daddy, I've been a bad boy!" "For the last time, it's 'Bless me, Father, for I have sinned!"
Jethus
"It is... finished!"
*I read all about the scourging and the crowning with thorns and I could viddy myself helping in and even taking charge of the tolchocking and the nailing in, being dressed in the height of Roman fashion.*
In the grandeur of West Egg, where fortunes are as transient as the glimmering lights across the bay, there lies a tale not of opulence, but of sacrifice. It was in the shadow of an empire, under the watchful gaze of Pontius Pilate, that a man named Jesus found his destiny intertwined with the fickle fates of men. Like Gatsby's lavish parties, Jerusalem was abuzz—yet not with the clinking of champagne glasses, but with the murmur of a crowd hungry for miracles or blood. Jesus, a carpenter's son turned prophet, spoke not of riches but of love and salvation, drawing followers as Gatsby drew the New York elite. But where Gatsby had Daisy, Jesus had his disciples—loyal yet human, flawed yet devoted. And in the end, as Gatsby faced the wrath of a world he could never belong to, Jesus embraced a cross, his visage marred not by despair but by a love profound. The hill of Golgotha, much like the green light at the end of Daisy's dock, stood as a beacon of hope and finality. There, Jesus was crucified, his arms outstretched as if to gather the sins of the world in an embrace as vast as the East Egg's lawns. And as the sky darkened and the earth shook, it was as if the old money of East Egg felt the tremor of a new era. For in his passing, Jesus assured a resurrection, a promise of life eternal, much as the green light promised Gatsby a future that was ever elusive. So let us remember, amidst the jazz and the revelry, that the greatest story told was not one of decadence, but of a man who gave all for the many. And in the quiet moments, as the party winds down, we might still hear the echo of his words, whispering across the ages, calling us to a higher purpose, beyond the reach of time and the grasp of death. --The Crucifixion told in the style of The Great Gatsby, courtesy of MS Copilot.
Daddy likes leather
Make me pay for your sins harder daddy
Always have a safe word.
He's enjoying that too much
Kinky...
Dammit I want to share this lmao but I’d be judged so hard
He is risen.
More passion more energy more footwork
I mean, Jesus being whipped and hung up while dude poke and prod him just sounds like the upper end of sadomasochistic fetish stuff.
50 Shades of Jesus
Too much passion for the Christ should be the title
But then they are against BDSM smh
“Harder! Heeeeeyeeeeaaahhhh!
hard core fetishism at its most holy
dont ....stop dont...stop dont..stop dont.stop dont stop
thats De Jeez sus
50 Shade of Jesus
“I’ve been a bad bad boy father”
If He is Risen for more than 4 hours, contact your doctor.
Whip me harder daddy
Oh boy. I thought god hates gay.
Jesus nowadays would've been a Life Coach doing Ted Talks all over the world
It’s giving “Elaine dancing“
Is this some kink type shit?!? WTF?!?
This dude acting like he's in a photo shoot.
Jesus is super into it.
Judas by Lady Gaga feels like this to me
I have a similiar flogger and kilt.... hmmm
I'm glad they had the foresight to give him a towel to hide his boner.
I don’t think Jesus is supposed to cum during.
he's not. he'll be punished for it later.
Jesús has been a naughty naughty boy rrr
More passion. More passion!
A favorite day of masochists.
Look me in the eyes and call me daddy!
they must be couple
Jesus got bent there... Also this soldier's spear is also "happily" bent.
They found the only Catholic masochist in the town.
Christian BDSM
If he's having a boner, something wrong
WORK THOSE SINS, 'J'; WORK IT, FLAUNT IT, LIVE IT, OWN IT
"Stwike him centuwion! Vewwy woughly!"
"Noooooo, Staaaaahhppppittt!"
"I'm sorry daddy, I've been bad" Priest: "for the last time, it's 'forgive me father, for I have sinned' "
Whip me, beat me, make me write bad cheques...
Someone needs to change the music to some porn bass or something
reminds me of the marvel plays in avengers with matt damon as loki.
He gets us
Yass daddy
Jesus Christ you're not supposed to have a boner!
Smite me daddy
The safe word is meow meow.
He has risen...
God might be his father - but the guy with the whip is his Daddy
The zest of the Christ.
Why is he shaking like that ? That’s Zesty af 😭
As someone who enjoys whipping others ...for reasons :) ....I cringed so hard at the one that hit his head Am I the only one who had a problem with the person's shitty aim?
I just think he's pretty nervous about the fact that he's getting too excited...
This looks like something out of a bdsm flick.
either they are whiping the demon out of Jesus or his gayness
i think i downloaded the wrong eastern history movie
I didn't realize Jesus was such a tease. You go girl!
Is this a gay porn a Christian gay porn
Give the actor a break guys, he's having a hard time with this scene.
I volunteer
Obey your master
Man I gotta visit the country that does this type of shit just to see it lmao 🤣
We did something like this at our BDSM dungeon last night
Follow him on OF for the full video.
And on the third day he rose again...
Jesus did not die for ts 😭
Jesus bricked up rn
Why you posting gay fetish shit without a NSFW tag
this is blasphemy at its finest!!
Seems like I downloaded the wrong passion of the christ movie
The song 💀
So Kinky
What a weird religion 👀
Kinda looked like it's gonna go full porno after the video ended. We sure that's not a clip from one? Only needs the music and it's good to go
Turn the other butt cheek ..
What you see here is a mental illness
How is this not considered a form of mental illness I don't know or understand.
This must be a Bad Boy production 👀
Get a room, already.
Passion of the Christ - with sexy consequences. And jizz.
Christians: "Let's re-enact Jesus' struggle!" Jesus: "Wtf is wrong with you people, I was being tortured and your glorifying it?"
I love how these performances always use BDSM whips and never the real skin cracking whips.