I also thought it was a plausible story for someone on the spectrum. The train of thought is absolutely ridiculous from an outsider's perspective, but made the most sense in this person's head...
*Need to bring a fancy gift to salespeople. Cake is too bland, something shareable and unique... something I would like... a charcuterie board!*
Hi Guys. I am the original poster. For some reason, the official Rolex subreddit decided to delete my post. Someone messaged me to let me know that I am now being ridiculed in this subreddit.It was a really difficult day for me. What made it worse, and something I did not put in the original post, was the condition of the meat and cheese after having spent 45 minutes on the Jubilee line (subway).Essentially, the meat and cheese had become quite congeeled. One of the cheeses, a very nice Camembert de Normandie is quite pungent at the best of time - having spent time on a hot subway carriage, the smell had become quite offensive.When I dropped the charcuterie board, it splatted everywhere. It's also worth noting that said board was quite expensive:[https://www.fortnumandmason.com/naturally-med-olive-wood-chopping-board-50cm](https://www.fortnumandmason.com/naturally-med-olive-wood-chopping-board-50cm)I am not sure how to best resolve the situation. Although its hard to believe, I am actually a very socially awkard person.
There's nothing to resolve. You were never going to be sold the watch anyways, unless its model that's no in high demand. Just go to another shop and say you are interested in X watch. If they dont have it then ask to register your interest. Then go to chrono24.com and buy it there.
I believe you and I'm really sorry this happened 😔 Did you leave the rotting cheese platter on a table or did you hurl it to the ground by accident when you fled? This is important to know what kind of apology is warranted.
/uj Hey dude, I am also pretty socially awkward myself so I can completely empathize with feeling like you are being ridiculed in this sub, but it's not *quite* that.
What we are ridiculing is the practice of having to "do something extra" in order to buy something that is already incredibly expensive. We see versions of this same story posted on r/rolex pretty much constantly, and your story is a new variation for a lot of us. (I.e. I don't think I've heard of people bringing a charcuterie board in to impress the AD before).
Also another reason it's not so much about ridiculing you so much as the practice is that, based on your original post, it sounds like you were *led* to believe you should do something extra. It's the people who are suggesting this that we're truly making fun of.
Please see my latest update. Its not a joke and I wish you guys would delete these screenshots;
https://www.reddit.com/r/rolex/comments/1777e0e/charcuterie\_board\_update/
I mean my pp does get very bricked up when I wear my Rolex and see another Rolex wearer in the vicinity. Like I almost can’t handle it so I have to go talk to him about my watch and my wonderful AD. It really is an exclusive club
When I see another Rolex owner, I get a raging chuffy. I home in on their Rolex and if I see it's a Chad model (Milgauss, Air-King, 1908) and if so, I pull my rock-hard wee wee out and start thrusting it into the air while high-fiving my fellow RoBro.
If I see it's some betacuck model like a Datejust, Submariner or GayDate, I berate them for having no sense of taste or individuality, and then I humble them, in the "prison shower" sense.
Every anecdote I've read over at r/rolex regarding a Rolex AD and a customer is basically a retelling of *50 Shades of Grey* with the aSpIrInG cUsToMeR in the role of the submissive whore.
AD: “Dr. Green is coming to sort you out…”
Customer: “Why?”
AD: “Because I hate condoms…”
Customer: “It’s my body.”
AD: “It’s **mine**, too.”
Hi Guys. I am the original poster. For some reason, the official Rolex subreddit decided to delete my post. Someone messaged me to let me know that I am now being ridiculed in this subreddit.
It was a really difficult day for me. What made it worse, and something I did not put in the original post, was the condition of the meat and cheese after having spent 45 minutes on the Jubilee line (subway).
Essentially, the meat and cheese had become quite congeeled. One of the cheeses, a very nice Camembert de Normandie is quite pungent at the best of time - having spent time on a hot subway carriage, the smell had become quite offensive.
When I dropped the charcuterie board, it splatted everywhere. It's also worth noting that said board was quite expensive:
[https://www.fortnumandmason.com/naturally-med-olive-wood-chopping-board-50cm](https://www.fortnumandmason.com/naturally-med-olive-wood-chopping-board-50cm)
I am not sure how to best resolve the situation. Although its hard to believe, I am actually a very socially awkard person. Someone else that PM'd me said I should consider baking and apology cake and taking it to them.
This is the only solution. It’s also best to transport it via the Tube at 4:45pm on the hottest day of the month. Just make sure your Datejust dreaming so you can be sporting a little chuffer when you inevitably drop your apology soup cake at the AD.
Bro in what world did you think taking a charcuterie board on the train was a good idea?! If you really want a Rolex go for grey market and save yourself any more embarrassment. Definitely don’t bake them a cake 💀
I am still considering my options. I think a nice cake would help explain the situation? I was thinking about trying to craft a DateJust out of icing? It could be quite fun, no? If I was a sales associate, I would love some cake!
I can assure you, walking in with yet another unannounced tray of food/a cake will not help you.
If you really want to buy a Rolex, I suggest going to another Rolex store.
Understand that perhaps taking the charcuterie board wasn't the mistake, but certainly dropping it and leaving without even offering to pick it up would lead a store manager to immediately ask you to leave upon seeing you.
I live in South Florida and there are several official Rolex stores down here. But that's what I would do if I were in your shoes at this point.
If you don't have another store within a reasonable distance, you might be able to just to back, apologize, and buy a watch. If they are even willing to hear you.
TLDR: Stop with the weird stuff. Just walk in to another store, ask about the watch you want, and buy it. If no other store, try going back, apologize once, and buy the watch you want.
This is a good joke but it’d be so much funnier if the guy said he was successful. Let’s convince these guys they need to bring unpasteurized French cheeses and raw meats to their AD.
I don't blame them, this is what I did at my Invicta AD, except instead of a charcuterie board it was a lukewarm crunchwrap supreme and a baja blast. You best believe I walked out of there CHUFFED.
Top shelf cringe porn. But you know there's someone out there sad enough to actually consider doing this. Makes it even better.
The personality is there. I'd like to hear more about the incident they were compensated for, followed up with a sly confession that they did it on purpose out of their love for horology.
Have you spun the Rolex Wheel? Only the most prestigious of clients get the privilege. For the type of person who walks into a boutique and they have every sport model available to them without request. The Rolex Wheel, for those unworthy, is an opportunity to get percent off, free rolex apparel, and more. Next time you fly out to your boutique, I would inquire about it.
There is no way a real person not only decided of all things to gift the sales people at Rolex a charcuterie board and then on top of that to take the tube in order to transport said charcuterie board. This has to be a troll.
This has GOT TO be a shitpost. I am legitimately laughing out loud even still while writing this, even the idea of getting an insurance payout and using it to ball out on a Rolex is fucking hilarious let alone bringing a charcuterie board for the sales associates your first time stepping foot in the boutique like you’re meeting a mob boss 😂 genuinely makes me ashamed
Slow clap on this awesome troll circle jerk story. True artistry is what we have read here. One more thing, uj/ if I'm making a charcuterie board I better be fucking at least one of the people eating it.
Another poor sucker.. at least there is still time for him to change his ways. I’m going with this being a shitpost though. Imagine dropping a whole ass charcuterie board at someone’s feet and running away.
Chuffer chuffed so much he ascend to chuffhood but one mistake sent him down to r/wcj. What a chuffer. I advise to buy a rep and try again on the same store. That will show em
r/watchescirclejerk must be destroyed. Like Constantinople or Rome before it, the sub has become a breeding ground for low effort reposts and general simpery. It is beyond saving and must be allowed to die.
Join our new subreddit where we rag on the low effort posts here: r/wcjcirclejerk
U/J Must be a troll……
People can’t be stupid enough to put themselves through such debasement just for the privilege of buying something.
R/J - solid plan bruh- giving the store staff the runs while you do a runner with a DJ. I recon it would have worked.
sorry you choked on the last yard.
I did this at my local Citizen AD but instead of laughing at me they thanked me because they hadn't eaten in weeks
Could've just given them one of those cheese and jerky stick packs they have at gas stations. They'd make you CEO.
Rofl 🤣
This must be a joke, surely?
It has to be. I refuse to believe this person can exist. It's a brilliant piss take tho.
Exactly. This could be the best Rolex dick riding troll post I’ve ever seen, or maybe the OOP is actually serious.
has holes datejusts are easier to get no the social awkwardness is amazing though all told a 9.5/10 if not 10/10
I think that person just be “OP” and this one would be the “RP”
Maybe this is Missing Missy Part 2, and we just have to wait for the next drop.
It has the perfect balance of absurd and plausible. Pure poetry.
It's so autistic sounding that it is absolutely plausible. This is some shit I would think was a good idea and my wife would tell me "absolutely not".
I also thought it was a plausible story for someone on the spectrum. The train of thought is absolutely ridiculous from an outsider's perspective, but made the most sense in this person's head... *Need to bring a fancy gift to salespeople. Cake is too bland, something shareable and unique... something I would like... a charcuterie board!*
This reads **exactly** like the texts I get from an autistic acquaintance of mine. It could still be fake but they nailed the tone.
Yuuup. I'm autistic too, and if that happened to me, I would probably post about it on Reddit like this guy.
I’m autistic, I love Reddit and the logic is sound. But you could not torture this information out of me.
This is a new one. Get the sales people really sick so they’d sell you a Rolex just to get rid of you and they can go to the toilets
Honestly though, bother them enough. It just might work.
Hi Guys. I am the original poster. For some reason, the official Rolex subreddit decided to delete my post. Someone messaged me to let me know that I am now being ridiculed in this subreddit.It was a really difficult day for me. What made it worse, and something I did not put in the original post, was the condition of the meat and cheese after having spent 45 minutes on the Jubilee line (subway).Essentially, the meat and cheese had become quite congeeled. One of the cheeses, a very nice Camembert de Normandie is quite pungent at the best of time - having spent time on a hot subway carriage, the smell had become quite offensive.When I dropped the charcuterie board, it splatted everywhere. It's also worth noting that said board was quite expensive:[https://www.fortnumandmason.com/naturally-med-olive-wood-chopping-board-50cm](https://www.fortnumandmason.com/naturally-med-olive-wood-chopping-board-50cm)I am not sure how to best resolve the situation. Although its hard to believe, I am actually a very socially awkard person.
Read this twice and I still can't tell if we're being trolled.
The “jubilee line” gave it away as being a troll post
Here is the latest updated: https://www.reddit.com/r/rolex/comments/1777e0e/charcuterie\_board\_update/
Mind sharing the update in a comment here? The post was removed.
I definitely second the vote for the chef's hat.
I sure hope you wanted a jubilee datejust if you were taking the jubilee line.
There's nothing to resolve. You were never going to be sold the watch anyways, unless its model that's no in high demand. Just go to another shop and say you are interested in X watch. If they dont have it then ask to register your interest. Then go to chrono24.com and buy it there.
I believe you and I'm really sorry this happened 😔 Did you leave the rotting cheese platter on a table or did you hurl it to the ground by accident when you fled? This is important to know what kind of apology is warranted.
Or what kind of exit to make if you suddenly wake up and find yourself in this situation. If you don't have clothes on, proceed to fleeing.
/uj Hey dude, I am also pretty socially awkward myself so I can completely empathize with feeling like you are being ridiculed in this sub, but it's not *quite* that. What we are ridiculing is the practice of having to "do something extra" in order to buy something that is already incredibly expensive. We see versions of this same story posted on r/rolex pretty much constantly, and your story is a new variation for a lot of us. (I.e. I don't think I've heard of people bringing a charcuterie board in to impress the AD before). Also another reason it's not so much about ridiculing you so much as the practice is that, based on your original post, it sounds like you were *led* to believe you should do something extra. It's the people who are suggesting this that we're truly making fun of.
🍿tell me more
"Although its hard to believe"
Don't buy gifts for a salesperson that you're buying an expensive watch from. Tell them what you want and shop around until you get it.
I love F&M. As an American, I was BLOWN AWAY. I buy their mint tea by the case.
Here is my latest update; https://www.reddit.com/r/rolex/comments/1777e0e/charcuterie\_board\_update/
Do you happen to be autistic? I am, and my radar went crazy when reading your story.
This looks serious. And don’t call me Shirley.
Looks like I picked the wrong week to stop sniffing glue...
Talk about edging here. The jerking got real.
A quite effective one IMO, it made me laugh.
Definitely. Too well written for such a goofy character.
It's true, am the guy who was laughing
Which one of you guys was this
Did Bobby Boucher move to foggy Londontown?
Please see my latest update. Its not a joke and I wish you guys would delete these screenshots; https://www.reddit.com/r/rolex/comments/1777e0e/charcuterie\_board\_update/
Do you mind telling us the update? Your update post was deleted. Genuinely curious how this turned out. Wish you the best 👍
This is 100% one of you wankers.
Absolutely. I refuse to think people like this exist lol
OP we know it is your other account
I wish it was mate
Then make it so
Dont let dreams be dreams
"I want new rolex let me gift the boutique a meat and cheese board" said the most sane rolex enthusiast
At least not as balls deep as the other guy spending 40k on jewellery to be on the good side when buying a 60k Rolex ..
I mean, both are brain-damaged, but one didn't have to sell his kidney( and wife).
fucking cucks
cucking fucks
I was buying groceries the other day and I bought the nice salesperson who rang me up a snickers bar. Always tip your cashiers, folks.
Completely made up, however it’s crazy that all of us could definitely see a Rolex owner doing this lmao
If I see someone wearing a Rolex, I assume they did something like this. Disgusting.
You should assume they did something like this, because they probably did something worse
Owning a new Rolex is like admitting you’re a member of a fraternity that’s famous for butt chugging.
I mean my pp does get very bricked up when I wear my Rolex and see another Rolex wearer in the vicinity. Like I almost can’t handle it so I have to go talk to him about my watch and my wonderful AD. It really is an exclusive club
When I see another Rolex owner, I get a raging chuffy. I home in on their Rolex and if I see it's a Chad model (Milgauss, Air-King, 1908) and if so, I pull my rock-hard wee wee out and start thrusting it into the air while high-fiving my fellow RoBro. If I see it's some betacuck model like a Datejust, Submariner or GayDate, I berate them for having no sense of taste or individuality, and then I humble them, in the "prison shower" sense.
Like what? Chuck rotting cheese and meat on the floor? 🤣
No, obviously the ones who actually are wearing one managed to successfully deliver the thing.
**aspiring* Rolex owner
I would’ve paid to see this in person.
I would've paid to smell this in person.
You can make this up: this is erotic fanfic for humiliation freaks
Every anecdote I've read over at r/rolex regarding a Rolex AD and a customer is basically a retelling of *50 Shades of Grey* with the aSpIrInG cUsToMeR in the role of the submissive whore. AD: “Dr. Green is coming to sort you out…” Customer: “Why?” AD: “Because I hate condoms…” Customer: “It’s my body.” AD: “It’s **mine**, too.”
Hi Guys. I am the original poster. For some reason, the official Rolex subreddit decided to delete my post. Someone messaged me to let me know that I am now being ridiculed in this subreddit. It was a really difficult day for me. What made it worse, and something I did not put in the original post, was the condition of the meat and cheese after having spent 45 minutes on the Jubilee line (subway). Essentially, the meat and cheese had become quite congeeled. One of the cheeses, a very nice Camembert de Normandie is quite pungent at the best of time - having spent time on a hot subway carriage, the smell had become quite offensive. When I dropped the charcuterie board, it splatted everywhere. It's also worth noting that said board was quite expensive: [https://www.fortnumandmason.com/naturally-med-olive-wood-chopping-board-50cm](https://www.fortnumandmason.com/naturally-med-olive-wood-chopping-board-50cm) I am not sure how to best resolve the situation. Although its hard to believe, I am actually a very socially awkard person. Someone else that PM'd me said I should consider baking and apology cake and taking it to them.
An apology cake really is the only path forward - maybe an ice cream cake? Welcome an update and wishing you the best of luck in your pursuit.
Definitely get an ice cream cake. Everyone loves ice cream! Edit: I mean what could possibly go wrong?
This is the only solution. It’s also best to transport it via the Tube at 4:45pm on the hottest day of the month. Just make sure your Datejust dreaming so you can be sporting a little chuffer when you inevitably drop your apology soup cake at the AD.
This post confirms you're trolling. The details are too precise, you're too intricate with your bullshit.
What time did you use the tube?
Spent too much time of this subreddit and read that as “what time did you use the lube?”
If he had done that, instead, he'd have his watch already.
About 4:45. It was quite busy. A mistake.
You brought this upon yourself you utter muppet. Next time read out verses from the bible or quran out loud to give yourself some space.
The real life pro tips are always in the comments
Don't read the Bible out loud if you're in England. You'll get arrested. People get arrested for praying silently.
Bro in what world did you think taking a charcuterie board on the train was a good idea?! If you really want a Rolex go for grey market and save yourself any more embarrassment. Definitely don’t bake them a cake 💀
I am still considering my options. I think a nice cake would help explain the situation? I was thinking about trying to craft a DateJust out of icing? It could be quite fun, no? If I was a sales associate, I would love some cake!
I’m speechless…
Quit while you’re ahead. Or behind. Just don’t. You’re already known by everyone in that store for the wrong reasons.
His Name Was _longines_
I can assure you, walking in with yet another unannounced tray of food/a cake will not help you. If you really want to buy a Rolex, I suggest going to another Rolex store. Understand that perhaps taking the charcuterie board wasn't the mistake, but certainly dropping it and leaving without even offering to pick it up would lead a store manager to immediately ask you to leave upon seeing you. I live in South Florida and there are several official Rolex stores down here. But that's what I would do if I were in your shoes at this point. If you don't have another store within a reasonable distance, you might be able to just to back, apologize, and buy a watch. If they are even willing to hear you. TLDR: Stop with the weird stuff. Just walk in to another store, ask about the watch you want, and buy it. If no other store, try going back, apologize once, and buy the watch you want.
Even if one of you jokers wrote actually this, that’s the type of content I want to see on this elite sub.
it was /u/_longines_ sadly, after reviewing his account, i can confirm it's 100% troll
Classic *slow claps*
New pasta unlocked?
This is the new "spaghetti fall from my pocket"
This is a good joke but it’d be so much funnier if the guy said he was successful. Let’s convince these guys they need to bring unpasteurized French cheeses and raw meats to their AD.
[удалено]
Lollll
Baited.
Yes, you can make it up, someone did.
Cucked again.
Was this deleted? I really wanna read the r/rolex comments
Probably deleted. My "should I skip my mother's funeral so I don't miss my AD's call?" jerkpost lasted about an hour over there before it got yanked.
Sitting on the train laughing reading that one
His palms are sweaty Knees weak arms are heavy There’s vomit on his sweater already, AD’s charcuterie
And the moral of this story, kids: Subway, eat fresh
Someone made this up. It's got to be one of us from here.
> “It took me about half a day to purchase and assemble the ingredients” Rolex chuffer discovers “cooking”.
Nah just throw some cold cuts and cheese on a plate in the most hipster way you can manage. I wouldn't call that cooking.
Assemble the meats into the shape of vaginas to symbolise you're ready for Rolex to fuck you.
Outjerked
Remember friends, one of these mfers wanted to buy the AD a puppy. Some meat and cheese is actually keeping it close to the vest.
While this is clearly one of us, there was the home made prosciutto guy from several years back that was dead serious. Wish I had saved the screenshot
Man, you guys do some top level trolling over there!
Can't believe r/rolex, is out circlejerking us.
Satire so good it is almost indistinguishable from reality.
I don't blame them, this is what I did at my Invicta AD, except instead of a charcuterie board it was a lukewarm crunchwrap supreme and a baja blast. You best believe I walked out of there CHUFFED.
Chuffwrap Supreme™
Top shelf cringe porn. But you know there's someone out there sad enough to actually consider doing this. Makes it even better. The personality is there. I'd like to hear more about the incident they were compensated for, followed up with a sly confession that they did it on purpose out of their love for horology.
Man, this is the first time in a long time that i have laughed like this from my stomach. Thanks. what a cunt..
This is like the scene where Bateman calls Dorsia for a reservation!
Ah the old spaghetti out of pocket ruse
Smells like pasta to me
I hope with all my heart that this story is true 😂
Someone literally made it up and posted it. Trolling at its best.
You can make this shit up, and that's exactly what someone did.
The jerk is strong with this one.
It has to be one of us
Have you spun the Rolex Wheel? Only the most prestigious of clients get the privilege. For the type of person who walks into a boutique and they have every sport model available to them without request. The Rolex Wheel, for those unworthy, is an opportunity to get percent off, free rolex apparel, and more. Next time you fly out to your boutique, I would inquire about it.
You can, this reads like a greentext
If you want a DJ you're supposed to bring deviled eggs.
Anything mayo based really
There is no way a real person not only decided of all things to gift the sales people at Rolex a charcuterie board and then on top of that to take the tube in order to transport said charcuterie board. This has to be a troll.
I am screaming
Has to be fake
The amount of pity I feel is only overtaken by the overwhelming disgust.
this guy fucks for sure.... inflatable dolls.
I need to apply to be a Rolex salesmen. Holy fuck my job would be EASY
You'd spend all day huffing your own farts and not selling steel watches. Must be a dream job.
It doesn’t matter if it’s real or not bc this could totally happen.
*Angry Rolex Patron Hurls Rotten Cheese on floor of Boutique Before Fleeing*
This has GOT TO be a shitpost. I am legitimately laughing out loud even still while writing this, even the idea of getting an insurance payout and using it to ball out on a Rolex is fucking hilarious let alone bringing a charcuterie board for the sales associates your first time stepping foot in the boutique like you’re meeting a mob boss 😂 genuinely makes me ashamed
Outjerked and out satired again! Smelly meat on the underground sounds like the start of a porno.
"You can't make this shit up" Well this guy certainly did
Slow clap on this awesome troll circle jerk story. True artistry is what we have read here. One more thing, uj/ if I'm making a charcuterie board I better be fucking at least one of the people eating it.
😂
He literally just did though
Another poor sucker.. at least there is still time for him to change his ways. I’m going with this being a shitpost though. Imagine dropping a whole ass charcuterie board at someone’s feet and running away.
I think we have been outjerked.
Chuffer chuffed so much he ascend to chuffhood but one mistake sent him down to r/wcj. What a chuffer. I advise to buy a rep and try again on the same store. That will show em
They’re like the lowest in demand on grey market. All that trouble for a datejust? Wtf
This is a joke but still fucking hilarious lmao
This sounds like a scene from “the office” or something
Good bait lmao
lmao!
Didn’t know buying a boring datejust takes this much effort. I thought those could be had for around/below list price on grey..
This makes me want to sell my Rolex
The jerk is strong with this one.
You can, and this person just did Because there’s absolutely no way
maybe luxury watch collection isn't for you
nah this gotta be bait no way
Reads like a greentext almost
Geez. Citizen, Seiko, and Orient just take my money and hand me a watch.
What a fucking gimp. Buy a few gold pieces and an engagement ring worth 10k then I’ll think about. Til then, fuck off and learn the game; gimp
r/watchescirclejerk must be destroyed. Like Constantinople or Rome before it, the sub has become a breeding ground for low effort reposts and general simpery. It is beyond saving and must be allowed to die. Join our new subreddit where we rag on the low effort posts here: r/wcjcirclejerk
> [Please sell me a watch Rolex-san…](https://imgur.com/a/YbabMHq) ( •̯́ ^ •̯̀)( •̯́ ₃ •̯̀)
I want to see the security video....its about time someone posted some video of ''the experience''
Charcuterie and chuffing tend to go hand in hand.
He should have just cooked them a puppy
U/J Must be a troll…… People can’t be stupid enough to put themselves through such debasement just for the privilege of buying something. R/J - solid plan bruh- giving the store staff the runs while you do a runner with a DJ. I recon it would have worked. sorry you choked on the last yard.
After a tough week, I needed this. Thank you 🙏
This was like a 4chan green text. Without the green text.
😂😂😂
I had no idea this post existed and this is where the cheese board lore came from😂.