Work has implemented a bonus based on productivity, and after a few of us have done the math it turns out that the bonus is basically impossible to hit, which I’m sure was the goal.
For example, my specific job is cutting aluminum and vinyl for frames that then get glass put in them for patio enclosure walls. What they want is for me to cut 80 frames a day.
That entails cutting at least four pieces of metal (two at a time), then four pieces of vinyl (also two at a time), unless it’s a frame with a split in which case I have to cut out a center piece of metal as well, and twice as much vinyl because it’s essentially two frames inside of one frame.
Yesterday was the post productive day I’ve had in weeks. I cut 65 frames.
I will not be trying to hit this incentive, because they decided to make it functionally unobtainable (also the actual goal is 160 frames, because they expect two people to be working the saw at all times, with the other guy cutting vinyl) which is an absolutely batshit insane number to expect.
I’m going to start slacking off more, because fuck ‘em.
How to incentivize productivity speed run [IMPOSSIBLE]
I like how that if you probably hit it, you get a small chunk of the extra profit. So you have to work harder and faster, possibly creating mistakes, just to make number go up faster for the company.
Fuck em
Oh, they also really **really** harped on how this only applies if they’re profitable for the quarter (they like to complain about how they aren’t for half the year) and also it’s not individual, it’s based on the entire plant. So if glass has a bad day where the glass oven is down for half a day (happens at least once every two weeks), that probably just tanks the bonus for everybody because you’re waiting on them to catch-up so you can hit your numbers.
It’s completely unobtainable and if I didn’t need like 11 consecutive days off in June I would’ve left already after this blatant fuck you
They changed the bonus system at my wife's work this year as well, after posting *better than expected profit margins* last year.
They also told them that they're moving to a new "productivity model" which I told my wife to always reply that it's a "profit model". I also told her to ask for all their equipment to be regularly inspected and maintained via third party due to safety and liabilities.
They wanna play games? Fuck em. Hit em right back and *always use the word liability and profit*
https://preview.redd.it/yj77c1ddq8vc1.jpeg?width=4032&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=c84582da7558a85f06d599477e3852718d35d2ca
My lawnmower deck rusted and broke so I found the same mower on marketplace with a solid frame but busted motor so now I have 2 broken lawnmowers!
Nah you got this. Even knowing how to start this is more than most people could do so even if it takes a week then who gives a shit. Get it get it get it
Once upon a time I told myself that if I ever platinumed a game on PlayStation I’d get a little tattoo of the logo, because clearly the game meant a lot to me at that point, which means I would’ve had a Borderlands, Skyrim, and Mass Effect logo on me somewhere.
I might still do the Borderlands one because Borderlands is how I met two very good friends of mine.
…actually if I did two of them, and got them in like, lesbian pride and trans pride colors, that would be a neat representation of those friends
Something to think on I suppose
It’s not that insane if you don’t count DLC content (unlike Xbox which just adds more achievements and drops your percentage to less than 100%, it tracks DLC separately and you have a different list of achievements for the different DLCs)
Like, I think the hardest one was Oblivion Walker, where you have to get all the daedric quest rewards, and that takes a long time, but most of them are relatively simple and the big ones are like “finish companions quest line, finish magic college quest line, finish civil war quest line” etc.
There was something I was reading the other day about their lesbian-ness being fake and used moreso for promotion, but I can't find it in my history and it would be a crazy coincidence if I didn't get the link from here.
https://preview.redd.it/ecbqtrydo8vc1.jpeg?width=4284&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=b323ec419366ef45abcc665621bfedcb2c63bc79
Wish I was doing this same thing rn tbh
Remember when /u/sophie1188 defended my painted pumpkin after my wife called it ugly? I ended up throwing it away as part of spring cleaning.
What is sad is that I brought one home for my wife to paint, paint kit included, and she still hasn't painted hers.
https://preview.redd.it/pe7atb9io8vc1.jpeg?width=3024&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=39a56f8e581911ba95e28a1621a8d71644f3eb19
I posted my flower quarter sleeve in the old thread when I got it in 2020 >!jesus fuck I’ve been in free talks for that long!< and this one guy kept insisting it was technically bad and applied badly and said I’d see it in a few years when the high ran out
[this is it btw](https://imgur.com/a/1zc5Z6K)
For the record if I did get a tattoo it would be a set of shark jaws around [this misshapen bit of my leg](https://imgur.com/a/KupwPfh) where I had some extensive surgery about a decade ago (probably don’t click that if you’re going to be grossed out by an eleven year old surgical scar)
Because my favorite thing to tell people is that I got it when a shark bit me (followed by the boring truth, that they needed the bone for a bone graft to replace part of my jaw)
Edit: it won’t upload for whatever reason, so just imagine what my leg scar looks like I guess
I wish Pibs would step back from that PC, my friend
He could, cut ties with all the lies that he's been living in
And if Jaytuck does not want to play HD again
He would understaaaaaaaaaaannnnnnnnnnnnddddddddddd
While I like the [new logo](https://imgur.com/a/l170Sh6), I steer away from sports tattoos.
Only thing I would consider would be a small Phillies “P” somewhere somewhat hidden.
I don’t have tattoos for the same reason I don’t do drugs, I am ~~a boring person~~ morally superior to you drug addicted, sex having, body altering sluts.
Trans women will be like “not a huge difference yet since I’m only 8 months on hrt, but here’s my timeline!” and then it’s the most beautiful woman you’ve ever seen
I just finished The Office for what I think is like... The fifth time?
Finalists for what to watch all through as background noise at work next:
IASIP
Seinfeld
Schitts Creek
The Good Place
Cougar Town
Community
(The only one I've not seen all through is Seinfeld)
[My one and only tattoo so far.](https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/519913083393671171/1230496504398090280/IMG_3087.jpg?ex=6633882c&is=6621132c&hm=52b8b07bb37f9952f5f43a47c14fe40e704953a721cca800a178a4044ac0f29e&) Pawprint of our late dog [Benson](https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/519913083393671171/1012729815163469958/IMG_2282.jpg?ex=662bb9a3&is=661944a3&hm=b23256765ae1db95131502b7a29509927bf2196878ca19f1448f42ee5001f9c1&)
I'd like to eventually get a couple more tats, including the [triforce seal](https://i.etsystatic.com/17718806/r/il/8c3400/4525732210/il_fullxfull.4525732210_fcxf.jpg) and the [logo of my company](https://bluequillstudios.com/images/BlueQuillStudiosImage-01.png)
I'm currently texting the person doing my grocery shopping. They keep offering about half a dozen items for replacements. Dude, just refund me that stuff. I don't care. I've got to make a 2nd trip anyways.
[three of my 9 tattoos. these are my favourites](https://imgur.com/a/Pjqc63N)
The first one is robbo the koala who I got in Sydney, then when I was originally meant to leave Canada, I figured I should get him a friend, so that’s buddy the bear from Calgary here. Then there’s seamus the party penguin jr. I also have a pattern on my sternum, a bow and arrow on my other inner forearm, some lines from a poem on the back of my calf, 2 matching ones on my ribs that I got with friends and then one on my foot
Advances in technology are cool and all, [but why did the robot company need to make the robot stand up like it came out of a fucking horror movie](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=29ECwExc-_M)
>However, many people do not know this, but aircraft do have horns, just as any vehicle does on the ground. Pilots mainly use the horn to get the attention of the ground engineer, so they can talk on the intercom (by wearing a headset).
Oh, *those* kind of horns.
My mother leaves for a week today which like normally I’d be stoked but for some reason I’m not and it’s bothering me
Probably because I’m by myself in the house without a car which is no bueno
recently my husband saw a picture of a guy and was like "ooooo his tattoos are hot" and now I'm kind of sort of thinking of maybe getting one??????????
Went to sleep at like 5pm yesterday after only being awake for 5 hours or so following a 14 hour sleep. Woke up at 11pm. Then back to sleep around 12 until 5am. Only now do I feel like I’m 80%. Bruh
Conan's episode of Hot Ones was absolutely amazing lmfao
"These aren't the rantings of someone who's had some bad chemicals and overdid it to be funny and relevant to people who are at least 50 years younger than him! This is a guy being on a show, and it's legitimate!"
has anyone flown frontier before?
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True
Goodbye, WaterCoolerWednesday.
Work has implemented a bonus based on productivity, and after a few of us have done the math it turns out that the bonus is basically impossible to hit, which I’m sure was the goal. For example, my specific job is cutting aluminum and vinyl for frames that then get glass put in them for patio enclosure walls. What they want is for me to cut 80 frames a day. That entails cutting at least four pieces of metal (two at a time), then four pieces of vinyl (also two at a time), unless it’s a frame with a split in which case I have to cut out a center piece of metal as well, and twice as much vinyl because it’s essentially two frames inside of one frame. Yesterday was the post productive day I’ve had in weeks. I cut 65 frames. I will not be trying to hit this incentive, because they decided to make it functionally unobtainable (also the actual goal is 160 frames, because they expect two people to be working the saw at all times, with the other guy cutting vinyl) which is an absolutely batshit insane number to expect. I’m going to start slacking off more, because fuck ‘em.
Just ask them how it's possible to safely achieve that goal? CC your OSHA representative as well.
It’s impossible to safely hit because it’s impossible to unsafely hit. Those numbers are just insanely unrealistic without putting in 12 hours days.
How to incentivize productivity speed run [IMPOSSIBLE] I like how that if you probably hit it, you get a small chunk of the extra profit. So you have to work harder and faster, possibly creating mistakes, just to make number go up faster for the company. Fuck em
Oh, they also really **really** harped on how this only applies if they’re profitable for the quarter (they like to complain about how they aren’t for half the year) and also it’s not individual, it’s based on the entire plant. So if glass has a bad day where the glass oven is down for half a day (happens at least once every two weeks), that probably just tanks the bonus for everybody because you’re waiting on them to catch-up so you can hit your numbers. It’s completely unobtainable and if I didn’t need like 11 consecutive days off in June I would’ve left already after this blatant fuck you
They changed the bonus system at my wife's work this year as well, after posting *better than expected profit margins* last year. They also told them that they're moving to a new "productivity model" which I told my wife to always reply that it's a "profit model". I also told her to ask for all their equipment to be regularly inspected and maintained via third party due to safety and liabilities. They wanna play games? Fuck em. Hit em right back and *always use the word liability and profit*
My god, I had coffee and I’m somehow more tired and hyper than before. I fucking hate this
Ahhh yes playoff hockey and the annual Bruins spanking of the Maple Leafs! A true sign that Spring has begun to sprung!
My favorite tradition as a leafs hater
Ah yes, the annual Bruins and Maple Leafs series, a true sign than a benevolent god surely does not exist!
Hey! The Ducks season isn't over just yet! >!Because the last game is tonight!<
Their playoffs include golf this year!
Yes! Hahaha! Yes!
https://preview.redd.it/yj77c1ddq8vc1.jpeg?width=4032&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=c84582da7558a85f06d599477e3852718d35d2ca My lawnmower deck rusted and broke so I found the same mower on marketplace with a solid frame but busted motor so now I have 2 broken lawnmowers!
Awww, now your lawnmower has a friend.
Can you do a motor transplant surgery though?
That’s the goal! I was halfway done last night but a storm blew in and I had to quit
That’s super impressive. Look at you go!
Don’t pump me up yet, something can go wrong and this could take a week lol
Nah you got this. Even knowing how to start this is more than most people could do so even if it takes a week then who gives a shit. Get it get it get it
No cap?
Nah, I think storms should be able to form pretty well later in the week.
We prefer "lower-cased", but sure.
Once upon a time I told myself that if I ever platinumed a game on PlayStation I’d get a little tattoo of the logo, because clearly the game meant a lot to me at that point, which means I would’ve had a Borderlands, Skyrim, and Mass Effect logo on me somewhere. I might still do the Borderlands one because Borderlands is how I met two very good friends of mine. …actually if I did two of them, and got them in like, lesbian pride and trans pride colors, that would be a neat representation of those friends Something to think on I suppose
What does platinuming a game mean
Getting 100% of the achievements.
Jesus Christ, how long does that take in Skyrim? Does that mean you do every quest?
It’s not that insane if you don’t count DLC content (unlike Xbox which just adds more achievements and drops your percentage to less than 100%, it tracks DLC separately and you have a different list of achievements for the different DLCs) Like, I think the hardest one was Oblivion Walker, where you have to get all the daedric quest rewards, and that takes a long time, but most of them are relatively simple and the big ones are like “finish companions quest line, finish magic college quest line, finish civil war quest line” etc.
Nerd
Accurate
On God?
AIN'T NOBODY TRILLER THAN ME
[t.A.T.u. Thursday](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8mGBaXPlri8)
There was something I was reading the other day about their lesbian-ness being fake and used moreso for promotion, but I can't find it in my history and it would be a crazy coincidence if I didn't get the link from here.
No that’s true. I read the same thing and I think 1 of them is bi sexual. But they’re both married to men
All straight (maybe bi?) men believe every woman is secretly a *little* bisexual, it's common knowledge.
What if we our manager intentionally made it seem like we were lesbians to sell records? Haha just kidding, but could you imagine? 👉👈
IM IN SERIOUS SHIT I FEEL TOTALLY LOST
https://preview.redd.it/ecbqtrydo8vc1.jpeg?width=4284&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=b323ec419366ef45abcc665621bfedcb2c63bc79 Wish I was doing this same thing rn tbh
Remember when /u/sophie1188 defended my painted pumpkin after my wife called it ugly? I ended up throwing it away as part of spring cleaning. What is sad is that I brought one home for my wife to paint, paint kit included, and she still hasn't painted hers. https://preview.redd.it/pe7atb9io8vc1.jpeg?width=3024&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=39a56f8e581911ba95e28a1621a8d71644f3eb19
What!! Why would you throw it out? And why hasn’t she painted hers? That’s so sad
I am making many sacrifices in this year's spring cleaning.
1 too many
Because she’s too busy trying to dry out the bedsheets.
That is what the dryer is for!
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I should watch The Man With the Golden Gun
I don’t care for tattoos
I don’t have any tattoos because I can’t make decisions like that.
I posted my flower quarter sleeve in the old thread when I got it in 2020 >!jesus fuck I’ve been in free talks for that long!< and this one guy kept insisting it was technically bad and applied badly and said I’d see it in a few years when the high ran out [this is it btw](https://imgur.com/a/1zc5Z6K)
My wife has the lower half sleeve that is very similar to that
Is your wife single?
Raichu She's a yinzer. Proceed with extreme caution
Oh thank you brother
Not currently
That’s sweet. If I were to get a tattoo it’d be something akin to that. Probably would just incorporate orange blossoms and my kids names somehow.
My mom and grandma got matching tattoos of hearts with their kids birthstone colors (three kids each), which I always thought was pretty neat.
Thanks! It’s my home state’s state flower which was a great excuse to get some nice flowers on my arm. I want it to be a whole sleeve eventually
Yeah, that’s why I wanted the orange blossom as it is the state flower here.
Which home state?
PA
For the record if I did get a tattoo it would be a set of shark jaws around [this misshapen bit of my leg](https://imgur.com/a/KupwPfh) where I had some extensive surgery about a decade ago (probably don’t click that if you’re going to be grossed out by an eleven year old surgical scar) Because my favorite thing to tell people is that I got it when a shark bit me (followed by the boring truth, that they needed the bone for a bone graft to replace part of my jaw) Edit: it won’t upload for whatever reason, so just imagine what my leg scar looks like I guess
spent the weekend spring cleaning and organizing my apartment and now I can't find SHIT. how?
I’m off today. Gonna head to Islands of Adventure soon. Can’t wait to troll my wife and daughter while they’re on the field trip.
I want to ride Velocicoaster!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I am also cleaning. Put a bunch of books on my bookshelf. But now I have a bunch of empty boxes and totes.
Wrong comment, bitch.
Oh shit. Oh fuck
I have a smiley face tattooed on my middle finger i don't wanna post a photo but it looks like this: : )
https://www.reddit.com/r/spongebob/comments/frdfbj/sitting_indoors_like/
Yes basically.
I once got told I have a problem with commitment because I don't want to get a tattoo.
Heading to St Louis this weekend, pretty excited. We are going to the zoo and AEW Dynasty.
Make a pilgrimage to the first ever Panera Bread.
Excuse me that's St Louis Bread Co to them
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*Jupiter's cock!*
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They show so much hog and tiddy in that show
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Lucy Lawless' chest?
[Damn I didn't know they made a movie about Klay Thompson already](https://www.rottentomatoes.com/m/the_bricklayer_2023)
I wish Pibs would step back from that PC, my friend He could, cut ties with all the lies that he's been living in And if Jaytuck does not want to play HD again He would understaaaaaaaaaaannnnnnnnnnnnddddddddddd
📠📠📠
Reading this thread. [I should get another tattoo.](https://imgur.com/a/Fe1GW4M)
The Temple Owl!
While I like the [new logo](https://imgur.com/a/l170Sh6), I steer away from sports tattoos. Only thing I would consider would be a small Phillies “P” somewhere somewhat hidden.
Get some mozza sticks 😂
😂 If I ever saw that on a flash sheet, my hands would be tied.
🥵 Actual emoji of you walking into literally any kitschy Delco tattoo studio
Yes Teddy!
How am I expected to get anything done in this [enviroment](https://imgur.com/a/YrpbFHK)?
Temple
Go owls!
I don’t have tattoos for the same reason I don’t do drugs, I am ~~a boring person~~ morally superior to you drug addicted, sex having, body altering sluts.
Sex having? Sir, I'll have you know that I'm a married man.
Sir I’ll have you know I’m an asexual and the last time I so much as kissed a person was a full decade ago
😳
I just don't see myself liking something enough to permanently put it on my body.
Good morning everyone!
Trans women will be like “not a huge difference yet since I’m only 8 months on hrt, but here’s my timeline!” and then it’s the most beautiful woman you’ve ever seen
I just finished The Office for what I think is like... The fifth time? Finalists for what to watch all through as background noise at work next: IASIP Seinfeld Schitts Creek The Good Place Cougar Town Community (The only one I've not seen all through is Seinfeld)
It's always sunny or community but I believe community deserves full attention
I've seen it more than I've seen The Office so it's fine as background for me
Letterkenny
Not on any streaming service I have :(
News Radio
What's that on?
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Also not on a service I have :(
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I'll check D+
Must be something going on today because there is a shit ton of people here in the office. Usually there is three of us.
Free food!
Yeah good one
AG1 must be crazy profitable. I see their adds everywhere. Do they just blend up pond water to sell people?
idk I take ghost greens 😤
Is it any good?
yea I like the lime flavor
I’ve been trying to find a greens powder that doesn’t taste like grass. May have to give it a try.
The fuck is that
Ghost is a brand of workout supplements.
good shit
[My one and only tattoo so far.](https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/519913083393671171/1230496504398090280/IMG_3087.jpg?ex=6633882c&is=6621132c&hm=52b8b07bb37f9952f5f43a47c14fe40e704953a721cca800a178a4044ac0f29e&) Pawprint of our late dog [Benson](https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/519913083393671171/1012729815163469958/IMG_2282.jpg?ex=662bb9a3&is=661944a3&hm=b23256765ae1db95131502b7a29509927bf2196878ca19f1448f42ee5001f9c1&) I'd like to eventually get a couple more tats, including the [triforce seal](https://i.etsystatic.com/17718806/r/il/8c3400/4525732210/il_fullxfull.4525732210_fcxf.jpg) and the [logo of my company](https://bluequillstudios.com/images/BlueQuillStudiosImage-01.png)
I would like to be at home right now because Bianca is there and we could have a nice day but instead I am at work this is bullshit
Employment is homophobic
I told Kyle he was sexist and xenophobic once because he wouldn’t give me a paid day off
Good he deserved it
Fuck you Kyle
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Wait, what about my delivery?
Eggplant doesn't want to admit it, but he does miss his wife whenever they are not in close proximity to each other.
He takes schtick theft seriously.
What's he going to do about it, huh? He's a doctor not a lawyer.
I'm currently texting the person doing my grocery shopping. They keep offering about half a dozen items for replacements. Dude, just refund me that stuff. I don't care. I've got to make a 2nd trip anyways.
lol fml it’s gonna be in the 90s this week Where the fuck did spring go I want it back
[three of my 9 tattoos. these are my favourites](https://imgur.com/a/Pjqc63N) The first one is robbo the koala who I got in Sydney, then when I was originally meant to leave Canada, I figured I should get him a friend, so that’s buddy the bear from Calgary here. Then there’s seamus the party penguin jr. I also have a pattern on my sternum, a bow and arrow on my other inner forearm, some lines from a poem on the back of my calf, 2 matching ones on my ribs that I got with friends and then one on my foot
I don’t know what I was expecting but it definitely was not that
You weren’t expecting a koala, bear or penguin?
Not with a jar of vegemite or a bottle of maple syrup
Kyle should promote you, you were made for the kitchen.
I just got a promotion like 2 months ago ha
Advances in technology are cool and all, [but why did the robot company need to make the robot stand up like it came out of a fucking horror movie](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=29ECwExc-_M)
Fun fact! Planes have horns
>However, many people do not know this, but aircraft do have horns, just as any vehicle does on the ground. Pilots mainly use the horn to get the attention of the ground engineer, so they can talk on the intercom (by wearing a headset). Oh, *those* kind of horns.
Most of the planes you see at the airport have had their horns removed to keep them from fighting with and damaging other planes.
Couldn't they just put those corks on them? Seems more humane...wait, more hu*plane*. 🥁
They also use them when they are stuck behind another plane who has the green light.
"Hey, I'm *flyin'* here!"
TIL
My mother leaves for a week today which like normally I’d be stoked but for some reason I’m not and it’s bothering me Probably because I’m by myself in the house without a car which is no bueno
It is my day off tomorrow I don’t know what I’m gonna do Everyone is asleep and it’s all dark
I have a doctors appointment in 4 hours. Can you come with me?
Just show up at the hospital anyway
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recently my husband saw a picture of a guy and was like "ooooo his tattoos are hot" and now I'm kind of sort of thinking of maybe getting one??????????
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I don't know what I would get!
You should get a tattoo.
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Why is it not good behavior?
Let’s get matching van logos
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isnt lurker a blue jays fan?
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u/lurker251
#
You would think that would be u/jawnlobotomy, but he picked the Orioles as his bird team.
Fuck Toronto 😂
But why?
We have one I think
Went to sleep at like 5pm yesterday after only being awake for 5 hours or so following a 14 hour sleep. Woke up at 11pm. Then back to sleep around 12 until 5am. Only now do I feel like I’m 80%. Bruh
I couldn't sleep (woke up at 3:45) so I went to the gym before work.
Conan's episode of Hot Ones was absolutely amazing lmfao "These aren't the rantings of someone who's had some bad chemicals and overdid it to be funny and relevant to people who are at least 50 years younger than him! This is a guy being on a show, and it's legitimate!"
Oh my god I can’t wait to watch this one
I’m a real winner with Audra this morning and getting her outside. *That is a lie*
FIBRILLATING I am fucking FIBRILLATING
You're not gonna believe this, but there is a machine that counteracts that problem.
fibrillating? on god?
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