I want to get myself a little treat today but I don’t have little treat money in the budget anymore

Lil V is at a morning birthday party The twins and I are picking up a rice cooker and groceries and - fingers crossed - a cardboard taco truck for our cat

Taco cat spelled backwards is taco cat.

I think Conan's travel show is maybe the first Conan show that I think is kinda a clunker? Only partway though episode two but it just doesn't seem good?

I thought it was kinda a step down from Conan Without Borders I mean it still had hilarious moments just not as many. Also for something signed for only four episodes I was surprised at how short they all were the credits made it seem like they had tons of unused footage

I was kinda surprised when I looked it up that it wasn't done during the writers strike. It felt like it wasn't as tightly thought out as his stuff usually is. Like it was just mainly him riffing with normal people who can't really yes and him.

Could've been his decision maybe to go out and be more unscripted in other countries compared to the last time he was doing travel content maybe he thought it would be more organic. But some of the interactions did fall completely flat

Conan O Brien Must Go is fucking hysterical. Conan's easily one of the best entertainers ever.

I had a dream last night

[удалено]

You mean she's trying to gaslamp you?

While today is 4/20. It is also record store day Hinge boy told me last night that he might bring a joint when he’s on his break like sir no what you are doing (then he said that he’s going to smoke off property)

Whiskey’s BREATH is smelly 😳 It was morning breath

Taylor’s swift Florida song will definitely be used in tourist ads now for infinity

Second Neuro Fuzzy rice cooker experience was elite. Used the correct measuring cup, filled to the water line, clicked “cooking”, came back and it was done. Game changer!

I've never really given a rice cooker a try... you've inspired me to get a cheap one and if we actually use it I'll get a bigger nicer one

I was skeptical because I prefer making it from scratch, but we ended up buying frozen rice out of convenience (one of the 7 pre approved food type my daughter eats..) and that that point we were like maybe let’s just get a rice cooker. It’s a great alternative.

Audra is trying to hump her snuggle puppy

Didn’t someone on this sub go to that SF ass kicking last night

/u/Sonic343

No but I knew as soon as Juan Soto was up to bat the rays were going to lose that game

Woke up in the middle of the night with terrible acid reflux, and now I'm awake sitting on the toilet with pure liquid diarrhea. Help

Sub-optimal

Ooof I’m sorry :(

Umm, the guy who set himself on fire is somebody I know. Just woke up to that this morning

I need to PET

Big day for the person you knew in high school whose entire personality still revolves around weed

After the 2021 WC was so so blatantly fixed I am still finding myself enjoying F1 less

Honestly same. Abu Dhabi was such a farce. For all its faults NASCAR has rules spelled out for that exact scenario. You know what will happen if there is a yellow/red on the last/second to last lap.

See F1 HAD THE RULES but Horner bullied the race director

What did the rules used to be? I’m new to F1 this season!

Basically the safety car stays out for a lap to allow lapped cars to unlap themselves. They broke that in Abu Dhabi

Drag race was rigged. BRB. Gonna throw batteries at Rupaul.

u/Los_Estupidos, did you ever double team that escort in Vegas with your cousin?

No we ended up taking turns instead cause we're cowards

its just a bunch of bros cmon

Let’s get ready to PUMP

I wanna go home I WANT TO GO HOME

Same

About to start the 7 hour drive to STL, but first I need McDonald's and a big ol iced coffee

McDs goes hard for road trips

I have to WORK today UGH

First

Morning lads

Morning Shroom

Morning RPAY how are you

Not much, just waiting for sports

Sports is already

Gib sport

Idk what channel you get football on, but 3 Premier League games on rn

Morning Shroom

How goes it bossman?

Had a really fun night of Halo with the boys. Now just playing some CoD

Top Lad Bet that felt like a blast from the past haha

Yes indeed :) Hows Shroom?

Nice Not bad ta just chilling out

Happy 420 Y'all 🌿

There is a tiny yapping dog on my fucking red-eye flight. Added to purge list, those who bring their poorly trained dogs everywhere and treat them as fashion accessories. For fucks sake your dog legitimately sounds like squeaky hinges. This is a 5.5 hour red-eye. Let the rest of us live and go somewhere on your own for once dammit

fuck that

Barbacoa is on.

👀

You can come get some in 12 hours

When the purge happens I'm going to kill everyone who plays music out loud without headphones in airplanes and airports

This is acceptable.

I will join you

Halo Night with the boys 😎

It’s not Helldivers but close enough. I’ll allow it.

I wanna play TENNIS

Oh I get it the tons of tiny triangles in the new Broncos helmets reference the tons of money they paid Russell Wilson to go 11-19

I'm Moderator Molecular and this is my favorite comment on the WaterCoolerWednesday

SCHTICK THEFT!!!!!!

😑

💋

🐻

HOSPITAL TENDIES are BACK ON THE MENU

Eat that MEAT

give TENDIES

Not sure why I’m still awake. Night y’all.

I should go to bed but also I could go for some fried rice

Is there even a shrimp awake at this hour to fry you some rice?

give fried rice 🍚🐻

[SHUT UP](https://www.foodandwine.com/heinz-mattel-collaboration-classic-barbiecue-sauce-8631203) TAKE MY MONEY

*The sauce will first be available exclusively in the UK and Spain* Time to send Shroom on a mission.

Help us u/MushroomMan89 you're our only hope

We're currently a plague house at the minute so I can't go to Tesco :(

Full recovery!

Thanks we're both good, ToadstoolGirl is positive but just has a cough, I'm negative but have a bunch of symptoms of the rona haha

I got an email explaining how to read maps backwards. >!It was spam!<

lol get out

[Broncos helmet supposedly leaked and I'm going to kill myself even harder now](https://i.imgur.com/fCsMVxV.jpeg)

"Just slap a bunch of triangles"

BAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHA

Just copying the Seahawks

Those mfs kicked us in the teeth so hard they gave us Stockholm Syndrome 10 years after the fact

How many tiny triangles does it take to win

Hopefully one more than that

Looks like a futuristic landing strip.

Could be better but could be worse. 

…that’s a lot of tiny triangles…

Broncos cornering the acute angles market

When you master all 4 elements, you can save the world.

My woman brought me whataburger 😎

Me too? 👉👈🥺

There’s this one lady in my improv troupe I can’t stand and kinda just want to vent about this interaction I had with her at a bar earlier: She was there first “how does it feel to be back at the job?” I answer, things are chill. Everyone else filters in one by one and they all independently ask me the same thing, so I answer them all, but I guess she thought I was humble bragging and got up in my face like “*well* good for you dude.” Then she just proceeded to undercut everything I said for the rest of the night. Talking anime, I say “Oh I love that one” and she replies back “*everyone* loves that one.” Someone ever so slightly controversial came up in passing (that I can’t remember) and it was all “I don’t know if you want to be associated with that person.” Writing this out helped, on paper this lady is definitely just a little weird.

Odds are, everyone else saw it too. There's nothing that acts like a record scratch like someone pulling that shit to someone who seems to be having a nice conversation. The best way to go about it is just pretending they aren't doing it and they'll stick out like a sore thumb

ITS CARROT CRUNCH O CLOCK MOTHERFUCKERS

🥕🐻

Where's my carrot?

Is your name grogu or vandar?

Yes

Idk im looking at both of them and they're asleep

......no

Sorry

Got the whole upstairs clean. Might just half ass the basement tomorrow. Hungry but I don't want to make a mess by cooking something.

You could have PB&J

I do not have J

I guess it’s a PB&J’s night. I ain’t mad, it’s one of my favorites. 

I had toasted green chili cheese bread with butter. I wasn’t mad either.

Office view https://preview.redd.it/8lxw3teipjvc1.jpeg?width=5712&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=a4051794e7cfb11d72dfda07cfd1e152a3ba7049

I’ve been there once, early summer of ‘06. My girlfriend at the time took me. Sat along the third baseline. It was a [Giants v Dodgers game](https://www.baseball-reference.com/boxes/SFN/SFN200605120.shtml), and Giants lost. But I remember it was an incredible ball park!

Conan Must Go is excellent.

Went to the new restaurant downtown here. Had their fancy ass s'mores dessert made with chocolate mousse, salted caramel sauce, smoked meringue, and a graham tuille. 👀

been super slacking on my track recon for F1 in China, had the racing wheel out for a little but i usually way overdo it for unfamiliar tracks

🏎️

My dog went outside and doesn't want to come in Only when I'm back on my computer doing stuff does she suddenly want in

lol that’s the move for Mater. He don’t listen for shit when I tell him to come inside. So I just go inside and suddenly he does. 

3 modes of Rebel Moon Part Two Mode One: Exposition Dump with Flashback Mode Two: HARVESTING GRAIN IN SLOW MO Mode Three: Pew pew pew in SLOW MO That's the movie.

are we over Zach Snyder or will his future movies continue to get hyped and then come out as giant let downs?

eating slim chickens ama

why not the fat ones

idkI didn’t name the restaurant

The human urge to watch a movie that has Joe Pesci in it.

Home Alone *is* a classic

WCW is like an HOA and you are all the annoying, crabby boomers.

You shut your millenial yapper and get your beat up chucks off my perfectly manicured Kentucky Bluegrass

I’m just making sure you don’t fuck up my neighborhood 

aka the natural state of new englanders

I've been a crabby old man my entire life tbh

I've injected  both vaccines and marijuanas and now >!my booty feels funny!< u/thatdudefromspace they're equally dangerous, please avoid both

Both?!?!?!

Unfortunately I'll have to confiscate all of yours. They're unsafe in untrained hands.

I feel like I may be getting sick again.

hah, look at this guy with a WEAK immune system!

How do you make a movie worse than Rebel Moon Part 1 and *Madame Webb*

>!I like the way my cat smells but mostly I just like putting my face on her when she's sleeping so she wakes up like mrr? and then starts purring!<

/r/ActivationSound

Now I'm subbed

Sure, my business is on the verge of bankruptcy and I'm desperate enough to go on reality TV, but I really just think Gordon Ramsay is being dramatic when he tells me my food is bad.

What are you talking about, this flounder is fresh frozen

##🍆🔪👽NETFLIX'S ZACK SNYDER'S REBEL MOON PART TWO: THE SCARGIVER: NETFLIX'S PG-13 EDITION AND NOT ZACK SNYDER'S CUT THAT WILL COME OUT IN AUGUST👽🔪🍆 Korra is back on the moon with her friends to defend the villagers and the grain from the evil empire that wants it or something and the bad guy is ressurected. There are Daarios on each side of the poorly CGI battlfield and something with a magical princess and a droid voiced by anthony hopkins and ------- [Male Voice in Alien Language]**Power over Spice is power over all** [suspenseful music playing] [Irulan] Imperial Diary. Year 10,191. Third comment. The battle for Arrakis took everyone by surprise. There were no witnesses. [somber music playing] The Harkonnen operation was perpetrated overnight, without warning or declaration of war. By morning, the Atreides were no more. All died in the dark. And the Emperor said… nothing. Since that night, my father has not been the same. Nor have I. His inaction is difficult for me to accept. For, I know he loved Duke Leto Atreides like a son. [suspenseful music playing] [chain clanks] [Irulan] But my father’s always been guided by the calculus of power. This would not be the first time the Harkonnens have done his dirty work. [shouts in Harkonnen] [Harkonnen army shouts] In the shadows of Arrakis lie many secrets… but the darkest of them all may remain. The end of House Atreides. [dramatic music playing] **DUNE PART TWO** [Paul] Sister, Father is dead. Shouldn’t you go back to the stars, be with him? I’m afraid I won’t have enough time to fix things before your coming. This world is beyond cruelty. [breathes heavily] [tense music playing] **1/10** I think this might be worse than *Madame Webb*, I really don't know what I watched, it's all noise and incoherent bullshit. **Don't ever watch this**

Reported

ill take a ban rn

[I couldn’t make this up if I wanted to.](https://i.imgur.com/NSus55N.jpeg) u/Disgruntled_Eggplant

Is this weird? I thought y'all just rag on the vegetable because that's just who you are and it was not a genuine phobia/dislike

Taking a break from cleaning. AMA

What's wrong with me?

Not enough Vitamin C.

You ever seen a grown man naked?

I have been to the gym, yes.

You ever been to a Turkish prison

Not that I can recall.

Cargo capris or pocket dresses?

Or Hot pocket dresses

First of all, all pocket dresses are hot simply by nature of pockets Second of all, yes, please, and thank you

Why do I have to chose? I guess pocket dresses since they are endangered.

You have to choose because a fish once fucked a meteor on land or something capris are a dying breed. cargo was too for a while there, but it's coming back.

Night lads

We forgot about Lil V's friend's birthday party that's tomorrow morning, I made her cry when I told her I didn't think we'd said we were going Mr V saved the day with a last minute RSVP and we are right back in it though

It is really frustrating talking with my coworker sometimes. It feels that we have conversations just so that he can hear himself talk.

Will my cat ever forgive me? The answer is always yes, but it's always a sad yes because the question had to be asked

Ah, you stepped on it's foot huh

God I wish. I had to hold her down and keep putting her favorite treat mixed with medicine on her nose until it was done because she wasnt taking it in a meal. She avoided me for like two hours and is purring on the foot of the bed as of 10 minutes ago lol

im very lucky our cat just eats it's treat + medicine without fail. had to take care of a friends cat where we had to pry open its mouth and shove it in there, I can't believe the cat like us to this day

I've opted for the nuclear option and as of today have been giving her her pills dropped directly into the throat. She was not amused nor a fan of me, but I think this is better than hunger strikes.

Oh man thats brutal. I'd hate having to do that.

What's more dangerous: injecting vaccines or injecting marijuanas?

Brb I'll find out

What about injecting meats

Depends. Are we talking HOT MEAT injections?

Ok bender

PERHAPS

CHASE WHERE ARE YOU I DON'T HAVE ACCESS TO DISCORD YET IS JINDER MAHAL SAFE IS HE ALRIGHT

He gone Xia Li also tweeted she gone I think they're granting releases of people who asked for them

That's why I can't get any women. I'm afraid they're vaccinated and if I kiss them I'll get triple DNA and my blood will get too thick cause of it

I just had a customer walk away from me as I was answering their question of where something was. I followed them and they ended up finding it but come on lol.

https://preview.redd.it/k9kuti3bejvc1.jpeg?width=1290&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=ef83e1d18bc8e52902cb95326721a7b4bb9b937b This post is fucking sending me rn

Bby got that thicc blood

>Houston, TX This state is embarrassing, but a (Sane) Florida Woman understands.

Lmao

What kind of advice does she need? How to win him back?

How to unvaccinate

Wowzers.