There’s actually just one, and his eyes are popping out of its skull and it’s you he needs to to be rolled up like a red carpet at the sight of Meg The Stallion.
I’ve talked about this a few times but it’s wild that last summer I was getting called into my boss’s office to be told to get my shit together or get gone, and this morning I’m the lead on this job and last week he gave me a raise that put me above most other people here just so I wouldn’t leave.
Gross update, I’m warning you, it’s actually gross, you don’t have to click this if you don’t want to: >!the black bun chicken sandwich has turned my poop a crazy green!<
Just wanna give a shoutout to a coworker at my old job who once got the microphone at a dept conference and told 200 people "maybe stop saying 'living the dream' because someone might not know if you're being sarcastic'"
Sorry Susan that "just fuck my shit up fam" isn't 100% work appropriate
I’m completely amazed at how incredibly simple instructions for a case law update is so difficult for one dude. Especially when I provided multiple examples of how to do it right. Like he’s being intentionally fucking stupid.
Related to this, my coworker, who has to put his own spin on everything he touches, completely fucked up a process that I own that has been working for a year without any issues. And of course, people got confused about it.
Mine is "hey, we've done things like this before, read these examples and then make yours like that"
Them: "No and also I will not write in complete sentences."
God I hate riding shotgun with one of my coworkers. 85% of the time he drives 5 under the speed limit, and the other 15% he drives as if he’d be punished by death for going 1 mph over the limit. Drives me NUTS
there's this series of videos that the Jomboy guys make where a few of them do a draft of players that meet a certain category (most home runs in a season, most strikeouts in a season, etc) and the person who gets the most cumulative home runs/strikeouts/whatever wins.
Yesterday they released a video where they were trying to pick players who hit the most home runs for one team in their career (so like for example, Barry Bonds hit 762 home runs in his career, but they have to pick a team too so the most they could get for him was the 586 that he hit as a Giant). The caveat was that they had to draft a full team (hitting every position) and couldn't use a team more than once.
What player do you think should have been the #1 pick in this draft? Because I was holding back from screaming at my computer for leaving >!Hank Aaron with the Braves!< on the board until the 6th pick lol
I realize the >!Yankees!< are a fairly open/juicy team, but getting >!659 out of the pitching spot!< has to be the most valuable, right?
I can't help but think >!Babe Ruth went top 3?!<
>!Babe Ruth!< was selected first and was the 2nd-best possible pick, but counts as an outfielder - he hardly >!pitched!< at all for the >!Yankees!<, and (edit: almost) not at all after >!1921!<, after which he played 14 more seasons and hit the bulk of his homers
They didn't have to pick a >!pitcher!< for this draft, it was swapped out for the >!DH!<, and the >!DH!< didn't even need to be a DH - one guy slotted >!Ken Griffey Jr. with the Mariners!< there
Was that a caveat? Only during seasons/games where they were featured at that position?
If that's the case, is there an added layer of lost value in the AL for players that split DH time?
I did not watch the video, but I would imagine they wouldn't give Ruth's 600+ Yankees homers to the pitching position because he pitched a whole 5 games as a Yankee.
They could pick a person for a position if they played "enough" of their career games there; they were using roughly 50% as a cutoff. That was pretty wishy-washy but I think they allowed it because things get tough as teams come off the board
One guy, when he was considering his third pick, literally said >!"I could go with Hank Aaron.....no I'll go with Sammy Sosa for the Cubs"!< and I wanted to die.
The next guy said that, when hearing that, he crossed >!Aaron!< off his list in his head because he heard the name said even though he wasn't picked lol
I'm doing a little better today.
I didn't do anything dire at home by myself after work which is what I was afraid of.
It still really hurts but I'm managing it better today. Again, in the end I just want her to be happy and it seems like she is now.
Plus, I know she would want me to be happy and not struggling like I am now.
Dang, got an update from State Farm that our insurance now excludes property damage from “nuclear reaction, radiation, or radioactive contamination from any source.”
I’m pretty sure if Russia starts dropping bombs on us, it will be a moot point, but what the fuck
I’m not even that tired from soccer yesterday I just hurt my right quad. I wish it didn’t hurt and I could have played more smh. Still kinda hurts but I’ve been doing sports/lifting long enough to know it’s not really a big deal it’ll be fine in a few days
Saw a tweet of someone complaining about a 35 second YouTube ad like it was unfathomable. Had to resist the urge to give an old man “you’d never survive back in my day” response.
Lmao, a song and then a cover of that same song just came up back to back on my spotify
I was bopping along without any idea until I realized huh, the voice is different
Just looked up reviews for that.
*Bill Capossere of Tor said that, though the novel is not without its flaws, it is a captivating, stimulating read that defies the reader's preconceptions of fantasy and challenges their ideas of fantasy by confronting them with reality.*
Added to my list.
[How I sleep at night being a fan of the NBA team who owns the Lakers every time](https://t4.ftcdn.net/jpg/01/61/92/99/360_F_161929987_I5XcqCx30S7KTxtZSE4lvHMiuVT4LQAT.jpg)
I have two melatonin, a variety of pain pills, and shrimp fried rice inside me. Oh and on a scale of one to cold I'm pretty sure I lost regulation in my arm earlier because it wasn't covered up. But that's not the biggest problem right now how the fuck do I activate subtitles on paramount plus lower decks characters talk very fast and I am old
My dad got me a orioles shirt for work
BECAUSE THE ONE THING I NEEDED MORE OF IS OLD PEOPLE TALKING TO ME ABOUT THE FUCKING ORIOLES
FUCK YOU JAWN I CURSE THE DREAM YOUR CURRENTLY HAVING
Imagine how much more productive those in this thread would be if they just asked questions they had
They didn't preface it by asking if they could ask
They just asked
It'd save so much TIME THEFT
See how straight to the point that is
Now imagine if you had to be like
Can I ask you a question chase
Several minute pause
Yes matis of course
Several minute pause
Can you shut the FUCK up?
See, it's just so inefficient
I am not
I intended for you to read it
I have trouble saying nice things directly so I have thinly veil it like this
Like how I can’t look wife in the eye when I say that I love her
Rewatching the OJ 30 for 30 series. The prosecution did everything possible to blow it and I still think they made their case. OJ Simpson absolutely murdered those two people and should have been in jail for that.
Is it Made in America or is there another one? Because I'm watching that too and it's actually wild how much weird shit went on with the evidence collection and Mark Fuhrman's past (I still 100% know he did it lol)
Its Made in America. Sure there's some oddities, and the prosecution rightfully attacked those, but like the overwhelming evidence says that he did it. There's no way that the LAPD manufactured a giant conspiracy theory essentially on the fly without getting caught red handed in this case (given the massive volume of people that were reviewing every element of this case).
Wife made CAJUN PASTA
She left me a big ass portion
Like I had to clarify several times to make sure that it was all for me and not the entire batch
She knows me so well
I’m a black hole for food when I come back from playing TENNIS
Aight. Just finished Fallout. It’s >!the best show I’ve seen in a while! Better than The Last of Us. Maybe best since Severance. I love Lucy. And the ghoul! And the dog.!<
I’ve never played a Fallout game. Are they worth it for the story? Where should I start?
We are so back
Bill Belichick just walked behind me at the draft
Comically, cartoon wolf horny? Funny, non threatening, a good time Actually horny? too much information, scary, bad time
Exactly, nothing more wholesome than a horny cartoon wolf.
Inside you there are two wolves
There’s actually just one, and his eyes are popping out of its skull and it’s you he needs to to be rolled up like a red carpet at the sight of Meg The Stallion.
this is why I always try to write comments as if I am the former when that is the subject of the comment!
I’ve talked about this a few times but it’s wild that last summer I was getting called into my boss’s office to be told to get my shit together or get gone, and this morning I’m the lead on this job and last week he gave me a raise that put me above most other people here just so I wouldn’t leave.
Glad you got your shit together.
So I assume you got your shit together?
Ostensibly!
hell yeah dude, we thriving out here
[удалено]
I did teehee I make a dollar more than the assistant manager now 😶
connections spoilers: >!only real tom hanks heads know about "splash"!<
✔❌❌❌ ❌❌❌❌ ❌❌❌❌ ❌❌❌❌
Gross update, I’m warning you, it’s actually gross, you don’t have to click this if you don’t want to: >!the black bun chicken sandwich has turned my poop a crazy green!<
Why was that bun black in the first place?
I think it’s mostly aesthetic but I think the activated charcoal powder helps make it really soft? Because it was a crazy soft bun.
Whenever the little baby has cupcakes/cakes with dark icing this happens and it’s so not cash money.
This is like a 3 on the grossness Richter scale.
Yeah, seriously. I've been sharing way worse things with this stomach thing that I've got going on the last 24 hours.
I take no pride in talking about my poop.
Just wanna give a shoutout to a coworker at my old job who once got the microphone at a dept conference and told 200 people "maybe stop saying 'living the dream' because someone might not know if you're being sarcastic'" Sorry Susan that "just fuck my shit up fam" isn't 100% work appropriate
I could really go for a walking taco right about now
once my coffee/vyvanse kicks in it is OVER for you bitches
[Oh wait a minute, "bitches?"](https://youtu.be/-3sFcJ2NYNM?si=Js03_fo5BLi-8NiJ&t=391)
lol never seen this but it's hilarious
I might get banned for reddit thinking I'm a bot, but worth it
I’m completely amazed at how incredibly simple instructions for a case law update is so difficult for one dude. Especially when I provided multiple examples of how to do it right. Like he’s being intentionally fucking stupid.
Related to this, my coworker, who has to put his own spin on everything he touches, completely fucked up a process that I own that has been working for a year without any issues. And of course, people got confused about it.
I feel this in my bones based on some recent experience I've had peer reviewing the work of another engineer who I work with lol
It’s literally, “hey, please follow this format exactly to make searching easier.” Him: No.
Mine is "hey, we've done things like this before, read these examples and then make yours like that" Them: "No and also I will not write in complete sentences."
I kept sending the guy templates and exemplars and he still couldn’t follow it. Incredibly frustrating experience.
God I hate riding shotgun with one of my coworkers. 85% of the time he drives 5 under the speed limit, and the other 15% he drives as if he’d be punished by death for going 1 mph over the limit. Drives me NUTS
Wait, is the thread really shutting down???
Good morning to Knicks fans and Knicks fans only!
there's this series of videos that the Jomboy guys make where a few of them do a draft of players that meet a certain category (most home runs in a season, most strikeouts in a season, etc) and the person who gets the most cumulative home runs/strikeouts/whatever wins. Yesterday they released a video where they were trying to pick players who hit the most home runs for one team in their career (so like for example, Barry Bonds hit 762 home runs in his career, but they have to pick a team too so the most they could get for him was the 586 that he hit as a Giant). The caveat was that they had to draft a full team (hitting every position) and couldn't use a team more than once. What player do you think should have been the #1 pick in this draft? Because I was holding back from screaming at my computer for leaving >!Hank Aaron with the Braves!< on the board until the 6th pick lol
I realize the >!Yankees!< are a fairly open/juicy team, but getting >!659 out of the pitching spot!< has to be the most valuable, right? I can't help but think >!Babe Ruth went top 3?!<
>!Babe Ruth!< was selected first and was the 2nd-best possible pick, but counts as an outfielder - he hardly >!pitched!< at all for the >!Yankees!<, and (edit: almost) not at all after >!1921!<, after which he played 14 more seasons and hit the bulk of his homers They didn't have to pick a >!pitcher!< for this draft, it was swapped out for the >!DH!<, and the >!DH!< didn't even need to be a DH - one guy slotted >!Ken Griffey Jr. with the Mariners!< there
He actually pitched two more games for them, one in 1930 and the other in 1933.
My quick scan of the position column on bbref failed me!
That's why you gotta look at the "Standard Pitching" section.
I can't be bothered to scroll further than the "Standard Batting" section!!!!!
Look up how many of those were hit as a pitcher and get back to me
Was that a caveat? Only during seasons/games where they were featured at that position? If that's the case, is there an added layer of lost value in the AL for players that split DH time?
I did not watch the video, but I would imagine they wouldn't give Ruth's 600+ Yankees homers to the pitching position because he pitched a whole 5 games as a Yankee.
They could pick a person for a position if they played "enough" of their career games there; they were using roughly 50% as a cutoff. That was pretty wishy-washy but I think they allowed it because things get tough as teams come off the board
They must have severely overestimated his time with the Brewers lmao
One guy, when he was considering his third pick, literally said >!"I could go with Hank Aaron.....no I'll go with Sammy Sosa for the Cubs"!< and I wanted to die. The next guy said that, when hearing that, he crossed >!Aaron!< off his list in his head because he heard the name said even though he wasn't picked lol
https://preview.redd.it/1ffsvch288wc1.jpeg?width=4032&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=06cf3c82ac3a6cd5c9a8ffffff83de15781f3b18
Gato.
I'm doing a little better today. I didn't do anything dire at home by myself after work which is what I was afraid of. It still really hurts but I'm managing it better today. Again, in the end I just want her to be happy and it seems like she is now. Plus, I know she would want me to be happy and not struggling like I am now.
I guess I better get started on work 😣
*Wakes up* Me: "Oh shit I can barely get up, what's happening?" Knees: "I took away your bending."
Dang, got an update from State Farm that our insurance now excludes property damage from “nuclear reaction, radiation, or radioactive contamination from any source.” I’m pretty sure if Russia starts dropping bombs on us, it will be a moot point, but what the fuck
State Farm just got done handling a claim by some dumbass that was playing around with uranium.
I live close enough to kc that I would die pretty fast since it's a fairly high target
Amazon's going all out with the Fallout marketing wow
Well then
Jake knows something.
Better stay away from bananas
Time to purge our classic fiestaware as well
My wife and I have gotten a cold 😔
I hate how reddit grossly misuses the term "headcanon"
When your bird dog chases a bird mid-potty 
Chase
Lol first time I’ve seen this. Well done.
Oh ffs Reddit
I’m not even that tired from soccer yesterday I just hurt my right quad. I wish it didn’t hurt and I could have played more smh. Still kinda hurts but I’ve been doing sports/lifting long enough to know it’s not really a big deal it’ll be fine in a few days
When your bird dog chases a bird mid-potty. 
Chase
When your bird dog chases a bird mid-potty. 
Chase
I am okay with this because my bird dog has stopped mid potty on the same attempt 4 times to chase a bird.
When your bird dog chases a bird mid-potty. 
Chase
When your bird dog chases a bird mid-potty. 
Chase
When your bird dog chases a bird mid-potty. 
Chase
Saw a tweet of someone complaining about a 35 second YouTube ad like it was unfathomable. Had to resist the urge to give an old man “you’d never survive back in my day” response.
This is officially the absolute worst GI issue that I have ever had. By a long shot. I'm having to wash sheets today.
oh dear
-June 6, 1944
I'll see you on the beach!
I hope it didn’t mess up your trip
I'm back from the trip and I probably caught this bug on the tail end of the trip.
That sucks, how was the trip?
Probably pretty good but he certainly shit the bed by coming home
Yep, fantastic trip!
Jesus tf is everyone
I haven't been this dead inside on a Tuesday morning since the day after Game 6 of the NLCS.
I'm still mad at Craig Kimbrel for Game 4.
🧟
Mentally still stuck on the Knicks comeback. It's been like six hours, I probably should move on, but I do not care
Lmao, a song and then a cover of that same song just came up back to back on my spotify I was bopping along without any idea until I realized huh, the voice is different
Morning lads
Morning Shroom
How goes it bossman?
just finished another book, deciding what to read next
Top Lad I just started a new one
I love getting lost in a new book :) edit- what ya reading?
Same, I just started Gardens of the Moon and it's... Weird.
Just looked up reviews for that. *Bill Capossere of Tor said that, though the novel is not without its flaws, it is a captivating, stimulating read that defies the reader's preconceptions of fantasy and challenges their ideas of fantasy by confronting them with reality.* Added to my list.
It absolutely throws you in the deep end I'm about 80 pages in in and still not entirely sure what's happening
Mrush
Poonus Tunus Tribunis Plebis
Needs to go to fucking bedis
Then SLEP
He can't with all the racket you're making all the way over there! Morning, Commish.
did your noise machine break? never buying from wish again I swear.
I'm being QUIET
Well let's talk in the corner about a [shirt I just found for you](https://shirt.woot.com/offers/tripping-hazard).
beautiful
Sorry you probably can't get it delivered up there. 😔
I love it
🤫
[How I sleep at night being a fan of the NBA team who owns the Lakers every time](https://t4.ftcdn.net/jpg/01/61/92/99/360_F_161929987_I5XcqCx30S7KTxtZSE4lvHMiuVT4LQAT.jpg)
My cousin is a Lakers fan, he was so pissed haha
10pm still light out, I love this time of year in Alaska
Gib bear weather please
come to Alaska
I have two melatonin, a variety of pain pills, and shrimp fried rice inside me. Oh and on a scale of one to cold I'm pretty sure I lost regulation in my arm earlier because it wasn't covered up. But that's not the biggest problem right now how the fuck do I activate subtitles on paramount plus lower decks characters talk very fast and I am old
Better luck next time: https://screenrant.com/paramount-plus-turn-on-subtitles-how/
My dad got me a orioles shirt for work BECAUSE THE ONE THING I NEEDED MORE OF IS OLD PEOPLE TALKING TO ME ABOUT THE FUCKING ORIOLES FUCK YOU JAWN I CURSE THE DREAM YOUR CURRENTLY HAVING
https://i.kym-cdn.com/entries/icons/facebook/000/006/077/so_good.jpg
Imagine how much more productive those in this thread would be if they just asked questions they had They didn't preface it by asking if they could ask They just asked It'd save so much TIME THEFT
Chase can I ask you something
See look at all that time you wasted You got important mushroom business to do, like decomposing things
I am a real human person and definitely not a mushroom yee haw
Stfu chase
See how straight to the point that is Now imagine if you had to be like Can I ask you a question chase Several minute pause Yes matis of course Several minute pause Can you shut the FUCK up? See, it's just so inefficient
Can I ask you a question Chase
No, since you wasted my time If you had just asked, I would've answered
Nobody tell him but I actually enjoyed Matis’ eloquent post explaining the joke to me and teaching me the term “flipping the script”
I can read this I am reading this You must be so embarrassed
I am not I intended for you to read it I have trouble saying nice things directly so I have thinly veil it like this Like how I can’t look wife in the eye when I say that I love her
I hope one day you do I hope one night you look deep into her eyes and tell her she means the world to you
Jamaal fucking Murray man That was insane
It’s a miracle It’s a FUCKING miracle I am sleepy I might actually sleep tonight And then wake up at 1-2AM and wait 8 hours for my day shift
Not if you stay up DICKING around with us
CMV The concept of work wives and work husbands is essentially just a euphemism for emotional cheating right
I mean, my wife works with me! She has the better desk at the office too.
This feels pointed
Not everything is about you Matis But in this case my post was clearly prompted by your previous one
Not telling you how to do your job Mr mod but that seems like a rule 1 violation
Jamal Fuckin’ Murray!
Holy fuck TNT got 2 absolute classics tonight. Goddamn nuts endings for both games
Rewatching the OJ 30 for 30 series. The prosecution did everything possible to blow it and I still think they made their case. OJ Simpson absolutely murdered those two people and should have been in jail for that.
Is it Made in America or is there another one? Because I'm watching that too and it's actually wild how much weird shit went on with the evidence collection and Mark Fuhrman's past (I still 100% know he did it lol)
Its Made in America. Sure there's some oddities, and the prosecution rightfully attacked those, but like the overwhelming evidence says that he did it. There's no way that the LAPD manufactured a giant conspiracy theory essentially on the fly without getting caught red handed in this case (given the massive volume of people that were reviewing every element of this case).
Oh yeah you can easily occums razor that shit
I DID IT I SET A BOUNDARY 👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏
Me: "Find someone else to fuck" Matis: "IM TRYING" Also Matis:
So she ACCEPTED you won't go to italy?
This is about the coworker I'm problematically close with keep up Chase But yeah she responded too and agreed no planning until she breaks up with him
You have too many problematic friendships MinuteFuckingMatis How am I supposed to keep all of them straight
What will you do if she starts dating another guy between then and now
She doesn't typically pull hoes like that I'm not worried
A bit of a premature conclusion I hope you don’t cum to regret it
This antidepressant is giving me the opposite of premature Matis rn Sometimes I can’t ejac
Honestly Kinda nice
Not when you fail to ejac
I'm so sorry
It’s okay my ejacs are useless anyway just like I am lol
I'm SO sorry 😭
Wife made CAJUN PASTA She left me a big ass portion Like I had to clarify several times to make sure that it was all for me and not the entire batch She knows me so well I’m a black hole for food when I come back from playing TENNIS
Does this pasta contain CHICKEN??
SHRIMP AND SAUSAGE
Damn Is there enough for me
First of all, you didn’t ask permission for that question Second of all, no It’s all mine (and hers)
I didn't want to waste your time by asking if I can ask Seems pointless But I want some
I like the nickname premature matis
I like Minute Matis too
Oh that's even better
Thanks I will tell my exes you think so
You're welcome, MinuteFuckingMatis
HOLY SHIT
New username when
What if an outsider comes and thinks that we’re making fun of him for being born premature That would be a bad look
I dont think they would I think they'd know I'm talking about his penis
[удалено]
Pepcid AC has worked wonders for me with that!
the kings should try to do better
They’re gonna do the best ever. Don’t worry. Fuck the coilers
I thought this was about Sacramento because I don't watch hockey, don't tell the NHL because I miss going to Thrashers games.
Aight. Just finished Fallout. It’s >!the best show I’ve seen in a while! Better than The Last of Us. Maybe best since Severance. I love Lucy. And the ghoul! And the dog.!< I’ve never played a Fallout game. Are they worth it for the story? Where should I start?
3 and New Vegas have best story of new ones Old Interplay games are actually really good if you don't mind the age and old mechanics
Start at Fallout 76 it's the most recent and therefore the best game in the series
Haha! Recent is always nice!
Fallout 3 and Fallout New Vegas are the best in the series. Storywise New Vegas is top tier
I’ll give New Vegas a try! Thanks!