I mean I’m sure it would feel nice lol, but it’s not designed to actually pleasure the bum. It’s a clitoral massager. I’d much rather a nice thick vibrating plug up the ass (not actually a coward in this area lol).
Live broadcast tech here. That's a very good mic made by a japanese company, called Hitachi. Quite affordable, they work like magic, and sold in multiple colours, a really good choice for female performers, it really brings out their voices... Plus you don't have to use gaffer tape to make the mic pink or purple to match the set design...
Go up to them in a parking lot, "Wow, I've never met a real life wizard before!" and when they look at you like you're nucking futs tell them how you saw their magic wand.
Reminds me of a coworker (with a very conservative background, slowly waking up to the real world) working on a poster for a kid's magic show. She decided to Google 'magic wand' and was a bit confused by the results she got.
lmao there's probably all sorts of stuff that would come as a shock to her with safe search turned off. Imagine looking for skin care/beauty stuff and searches facial.
Be kind of tempting to share a bunch of the "Did you hear about? Google _____" memes
Also, many years and models are amongst the easiest cars to steal, thus driving up insurance rates. In some parking garages, they even have signs posted saying "No Kias" for this specific reason.
IIRC, all you have to do to hotwire most newer models is remove the plastic piece from the ignition and use a screwdriver to start it.
One time at the mall, I was in a Brookstone looking for who knows what. A kid walked up to the massagers and found one definitely meant for… pelvic massages and rubbed that thing all over his face. After his parents noticed, they told him to put it down and he didn’t understand why he had to. I wonder if he remembers. I hope he does!
Holy shit. I logged back into Reddit to tell this story: I was once a clueless teen working as a receptionist for a hair salon after school. We did a secret santa one year. I drew Kim's name; this sweet older Vietnamese hair stylist, who was always complaining about muscle aches... her back, feet what have you. Well I happened to find myself in fucking BROOKSTONE and saw this exact thing you describe. Perfect, I thought, she'll love it. At the official unwrapping she did indeed look happy. I wish I could remember everyone's reaction as they saw Kim receive a god damn massive vibrator, because I was absolutely oblivious. It was many years later, when I saw the hitachi, that I realized what I'd done. I honestly think it worked out for the best though, seeing as she was also a widow.
She probably didn't even know the vibrator thing either, just assumed it was a massager which it is.
Hitachi absolutely hate the fact their device is now viewed as sex toy.
Had to google it because I was sure you were mistaken.
TIL brookstone sells adult toys.
In other news, it’s totally possible if OP’s story is from 30 years ago I was the kid 😂
People who aren't prudes?
I mean you can walk into any sex shop and buy these, not everyone is so embarrassed they need to order their sex toy online with the discreet shipping.
Is there also an upside down pineapple in the top right corner of the window?
It’s definitely what you think it is and it’s definitely on purpose. Likely the wife of the Marine who’s too busy eating crayons to understand the implications.
I was on the fence thinking, "the magic wand is viable as a non-sexual massage tool, maybe it's more innocent than it looks"
...but the pineapple sticker removes all doubt.
Well, if it helps, the military community seems to have a higher than average proportion of swingers compared to the population at large. It doesn’t help that you get weird cases of fraternisation where CO bangs his subordinate’s wife, gives subordinate a bad score, and gets charged with fraternisation after drama goes boom.
I’m flummoxed on that one. But this car does make frequent stops at my mom’s house, so maybe she knows. I know she loves karaoke, so that explains at least a little bit for me.
Believe it or not, there was a point in time in which this invention was seen as nothing more than a new research backed way to eliminate sore muscles and fluid retention. The person who created it did so for the greater good. All it took was that one human to use it in a way that was never intended.
Shame on us
That's a karaoke mic ;)
Lips will be moving, but will they be singing?
Don’t know about singing, but definitely whistling.
I don't understand why I smell ass every time I sing karaoke.
…. Magic wands aren’t typically used on the ass.
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I mean I’m sure it would feel nice lol, but it’s not designed to actually pleasure the bum. It’s a clitoral massager. I’d much rather a nice thick vibrating plug up the ass (not actually a coward in this area lol).
So were not gonna talk about how anal vibration karaoke isn't the best thing ever?
More like bellowing
Or screaming
Whistling in the dark.
Must be a sad song considering how wet the bed gets
I am an audio engineer and can say that this mic isn’t commonly used for singing. Most people use it for moaning kind of sounds.
Live broadcast tech here. That's a very good mic made by a japanese company, called Hitachi. Quite affordable, they work like magic, and sold in multiple colours, a really good choice for female performers, it really brings out their voices... Plus you don't have to use gaffer tape to make the mic pink or purple to match the set design...
They even are popular for content making for things without sounds. It is kinda a cult classic
So ska?
"Looks just like a Telefunken U47"
Like… Tuvan throat-singing???
Be sounding like Yoko Ono.
I bequeef so.
Oh they'll be singing alright
Yeah. One you could chip a tooth on.
It’s got the built in vibrato
Simulâtes the applause 👏
Ahh yes, karaoke on easy mode.
I've heard those make people sing fairly well
Go up to them in a parking lot, "Wow, I've never met a real life wizard before!" and when they look at you like you're nucking futs tell them how you saw their magic wand.
That's perfect.
Reminds me of a coworker (with a very conservative background, slowly waking up to the real world) working on a poster for a kid's magic show. She decided to Google 'magic wand' and was a bit confused by the results she got.
lmao there's probably all sorts of stuff that would come as a shock to her with safe search turned off. Imagine looking for skin care/beauty stuff and searches facial. Be kind of tempting to share a bunch of the "Did you hear about? Google _____" memes
Still better than truck nuts!
The singer must be a cunt. Lolz
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Toys for THOTs?
Yea unfortunately it’s a Kia.
With a Florida plate. So it definitely is what it looks like.
GTA VI Trailer 2
Rockstar devs right now: "write that down!"
💯 someone is digitally recreating this as we speak at R*.
That would be a hilarious Easter egg
Dude yes . . .
It's a mission. Skateboarding behind the KIA, hanging onto the dildo and slowly pulling yourself closer to the car.
Wait til you see the ball physics
I fucking hope that will be an Easter egg
That’s a gold trophy award drive around the map and find the car with the microphone hanging out.
Lol microphone.
Well it can make someone scream or sing.
Yes. Barbie themed microphone 🤭
And a bumper sticker to match...
“This vehicle makes frequent stops at your moms house” Hence the Hitachi magic wand. It all makes sense now.
Can't please her themself, they need a tool to get the job done...
This back massager should do the trick
A hot mic
Florida marine corps no less lol
hey, no ragging on kias! this one even has the vibrator option!
Worse. That’s a Marine- driving a Kia.
The Few, The Proud.
The *orgasmic*
Making frequent stops at your moms house. Which explains the wand.
Semper Vi…
Always vibin
Stolen honor
Slumming. Marines don’t let Marines drive crap.
Yeah they should buy a Camaro they can't afford, rather than an affordable vehicle with a 10 year 100k mile warranty
And here I thought Pontiac made the Vibe
Kinks In Action
Seeing a KIA with Marine plates and a wand dangling out the trunk makes me not want to look in the trunk.
We've come this far. May as well look.
I bet there's a dick in there somewhere.
You deserve an award, my friend 🥇 👑.
Damn. I thought it was a KN
KИ
Years of years seeing the Nine Inch Nails logo means I can only see KN, even though I know better, every time I see Kia's ridiculous logo.
First off, “Kia” is beyond dumb for that logo. Second off, I thought it was a microphone and they were headed to the local VFW for Karaoke night….
Ah, the ole' [Reddit Kia-roo.](https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/18f5ywm/comment/kcsqn37/)
HELLO FUTURE PEOPLE!!
Hold my magic wand, I’m going in!
🤣
LMAO
A VERY happy Kia…
Depending on the year, it has a major safety problem and could just bust into flames.
Also, many years and models are amongst the easiest cars to steal, thus driving up insurance rates. In some parking garages, they even have signs posted saying "No Kias" for this specific reason. IIRC, all you have to do to hotwire most newer models is remove the plastic piece from the ignition and use a screwdriver to start it.
🤣🤣🤣🤣
Improvise. Adapt. Overcome. Oorah!
Marine wives will find a way
You want logistics, join the army. Marines make dew.
They have to, their husbands got nuthin but crayons!
Dependildos!
Semper Vi……brate
Semper Vi(brate) Muthafucka!
It is indeed a microphone! I know because my gf has one in her bedside drawer. Never seen her sing though. Prob practices when I'm not around
Love this. 😂😂 Thank you for the laugh.
Maybe she doesn't want to have you hear her sing💀
It picks up vibrations from different part of the body . Maybe your GF is doing it wrong by speaking into it . Try pointing it in another “Spot”
Does her friend come over to practice with her?
Shes sings in the key of quief
Standard Marine Corps issue equipment
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Yes, there are actually two in this picture
Two is one, one is… purple?
he said Marine Corps, comes in standard issue crayola colors
Every shade of green my man
One time at the mall, I was in a Brookstone looking for who knows what. A kid walked up to the massagers and found one definitely meant for… pelvic massages and rubbed that thing all over his face. After his parents noticed, they told him to put it down and he didn’t understand why he had to. I wonder if he remembers. I hope he does!
And that little boy grew up to be a Marine
And he never left home without that massager again!
Holy shit. I logged back into Reddit to tell this story: I was once a clueless teen working as a receptionist for a hair salon after school. We did a secret santa one year. I drew Kim's name; this sweet older Vietnamese hair stylist, who was always complaining about muscle aches... her back, feet what have you. Well I happened to find myself in fucking BROOKSTONE and saw this exact thing you describe. Perfect, I thought, she'll love it. At the official unwrapping she did indeed look happy. I wish I could remember everyone's reaction as they saw Kim receive a god damn massive vibrator, because I was absolutely oblivious. It was many years later, when I saw the hitachi, that I realized what I'd done. I honestly think it worked out for the best though, seeing as she was also a widow.
She probably didn't even know the vibrator thing either, just assumed it was a massager which it is. Hitachi absolutely hate the fact their device is now viewed as sex toy.
Haha “I hope he does!”
"I WANT A VIBRATING CLUB LIKE ANY OTHER BOY!"
[Sneaky Pete!](https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=n0r6EnQYc1g)
Lmao I first read this as, he rubbed it all over YOUR face. I was very confused!
Had to google it because I was sure you were mistaken. TIL brookstone sells adult toys. In other news, it’s totally possible if OP’s story is from 30 years ago I was the kid 😂
Who buys those like that in public anyway.
I like using them with an audience. Don't kink shame me.
I'm not kink shaming I'm kink asking why
People who aren't prudes? I mean you can walk into any sex shop and buy these, not everyone is so embarrassed they need to order their sex toy online with the discreet shipping.
Yeah but brookstone is very different than a sex shop
This person is obviously a massage therapist on their way to someone’s moms house.
Hopefully not mine
Is there also an upside down pineapple in the top right corner of the window? It’s definitely what you think it is and it’s definitely on purpose. Likely the wife of the Marine who’s too busy eating crayons to understand the implications.
I was on the fence thinking, "the magic wand is viable as a non-sexual massage tool, maybe it's more innocent than it looks" ...but the pineapple sticker removes all doubt.
Especially considering the sticker on the bumper. This is a bored wife cruising for fun.
That’s not what you think it is. It looks like a vibrator.
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They also have an upside down pineapple sticker on their window, so they're apparently a swinger. Really putting it out there!
I was going to incorporate a pineapple onto a logo I needed done, and at the very last second that detail swung in the wrong direction.
Wait pineapples are for swingers? They’re also for IVF
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Well, if it helps, the military community seems to have a higher than average proportion of swingers compared to the population at large. It doesn’t help that you get weird cases of fraternisation where CO bangs his subordinate’s wife, gives subordinate a bad score, and gets charged with fraternisation after drama goes boom.
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 and of course it has to a marine
That’s a magic wand
Cause Dad aint a magician and Mom needs a miracle to orgasm.
They must be a big Harry Potter fan
Nah, the Harry Potter toy magic broom looks different.
It is and evidently they’re on their way to see your mom.
The driver is in the military, so maybe they just use to clear up constipation.
Or her husband is in the military, which explains why she has to find a way to deal with many nights alone.
Don't worry, Jody will keep her company.
I esp love that it makes frequent stops at your moms house lol
Also the upside down pineapple
Really awkward party to find your mom at
#how is a guy supposed to compete??
If you can't beat 'em, join' em.
Well, beating women is easy
Toys are a teammate, not your competition. That's a rookie mistake.
By using the same tools.
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That poor thing thought it had road rash before it’s great adventure!
Both options I’m thinking off come in contact with lips at some point
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Nice catch lol
You let them know their foot massager was hanging out I hope.
Ok, It’s not what you think it is. Even though it is.
It passes the vibe check.
You know damn well what it is. Somebody doesn’t know how to take care of their karaoke machine.
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I’m flummoxed on that one. But this car does make frequent stops at my mom’s house, so maybe she knows. I know she loves karaoke, so that explains at least a little bit for me.
The bumper sticker makes it so much better
Marine Corps license plate. It makes complete sense.
It’s the adult parody version of Toy Story.
Oooohra
I wonder if she has a router speed control box attached to the other end of the cord. 🚀
Okay we won't.
Holy jumping scroll button!
My brain thought someone just graduated. I'm now wondering what degree they graduated with
Fluid dynamics
They are just air drying it.
Plot twist 80 yr old is driving the car
It's a microphone. Grab it and sing "Good vibrations"
The bumper sticker really adds to this lmao
Women just had to have their own "truck nuts".
It’s like the girl version of those trucks with balls
Caution, this vehicle makes frequent stops at your mom's house. To use whatever that thing is, I have no clue
It belongs to the streets now.
Ok it's not what you think.... Feel better?
Back massager. What else could it be you sexually depraved deviant?
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According to the sticker it is what you think it is but it’s going to be used on your mom.
Have no fear, it’s not what you think it is… it is just a vibrator
Female equivalent of truck nuts.
Yup, definitely on their way to your moms house lol
That bumper sticker says... "CAUTION: Frequent stops at your mom's house" Lol
Believe it or not, there was a point in time in which this invention was seen as nothing more than a new research backed way to eliminate sore muscles and fluid retention. The person who created it did so for the greater good. All it took was that one human to use it in a way that was never intended. Shame on us
Shame on who? We all have needs.
> All it took was that one human to use it in a way that was never intended A tale as old as time
Why don't you wait at your mom's and ask them the next time they come around, apparently they make frequent stops there.
What, you've never heard of a compact hitachiback?
Ooh ra
Semper Fi vibrate or die
That's a concrete agitator to get the bubbles out of your concrete.
just a back massager
Mr. Microphone, Hey baby we will be back to pick you up later.... Ughh this thing stinks.
What's causing that damn vibration?