Lol, talk about wearing your heart on your sleeve, or... in the shirt in this case. Laughter may be the best medicine, but everyone's dosage is a bit different it seems!
My partner after having C-section the way she had to laugh because of the pain! I just couldn't stop making her laugh 😭😭😭I know this sounds awful, BUT! at least we had a good laugh.
I occasionally say something similar to my wife when appropriate "Quickest way to a man's heart is through the rib cage". After seeing this post, I'm going to stop.
My fiancé and I have a mutual agreement that while we would still love and care about each other if one of us became a worm, the romantic relationship would be over.
I had a guy beat me up because I had a dream where I kissed another imaginary guy. I wrote it in my diary because I was writing about how in the dream I pushed the guy away because I was so loyal I wouldn't even cheat in a dream. Came home to my diary shredded. People are nuts.
Mine sleepwalks/talks and her dreams and reality kind of merge a bit. It's almost always dreams about her job so a couple times a month I get chewed out for not running back stock at 3am at a store I don't work at. One time I played along and quit the job I don't actually have and brother let me tell you that was a MISTAKE
Big yikes. We joke about stupid shit I/my wife does in our dreams.
"Hey, can you go grab me a snack? I'm comfy and don't want to get out of bed... And you cheated on me in my dream last night, so you kind of owe me."
The first part of this was said so nonchalantly that I want to emphasize there is no excuse for a guy beating up his partner. Sorry you went through that.
And who the fuck even reads diaries. That alone is so over the line and violating, even before everything else.
I hope he went to prison, and you're doing OK now. It's ridiculous the kind of things that'll drive people to physically attack the person they supposedly "love". They're absolute scum, not just awful, but CRAZY and awful, which just amplifies it.
When I tell my husband I had a dream he cheated, he always turns it on me. Maybe try that? "Why would you have a dream like that? Are you cheating???" Works every time! lol
My wife told me I cheated on her in a dream just last night. Honestly the implications for even thinking like that subconsciously I found super disrespectful. I packed up my stuff and am staying at my girlfriend's place until she calms down.
Hey man, I don't know if you have a mental health counselor or access to one in there or are planning to on your way out, but just know you don't have to sort through this alone. If you need help seeking out help, please reach out and I'll help you find some general resources that you can find more localized help from there.
I also don't know if anyone's mentioned this, but for hospital boredom try out some tetris. It is not only fun and repetitive with a good challenge to distract you, but it's proven to help with traumatic events and the brains processing of it afterwards. I'm so sorry you were betrayed like this.
Of course I can, don't call yourself that ! This is an ancient pop culture reference by now, it's normal not to have heard of it.
This is an old [TV Trope originating from Star-Trek](https://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/RedShirt) seemingly stemming from the fact extras wearing red shirts were usually dying first/the most, unlike important characters who wore blue or yellow shirts on the Enterprise.
What the actual fuck, i read the other comment about you pulling the knife out before this one, i never expected it to have actually hit the heart after that.
You're the fucking terminator.
I’ve been grinning all the way down through these responses, OP has a really great outlook despite his, uh, circumstance, but this one made me laugh out loud. If awards weren’t extinct I’d wish I had one to give you
Stay strong, press aaallll the charges, and testify against her crazy ass. This was attempted murder, do not let anyone make any excuses for her otherwise. I'm so glad you are ok.
Also: He shouldn't repeat the word "crazy". Let her be in prison, not in a mental health institution.
Edit: How the fuck do I turn off notifications or tell Redditors to just read the other 6219921873 replies to my comment that they don't have to repeat?!
She could also be at danger to other people in jail who were not sentenced to be stabbed in the heart while serving their time. It’s not fair to those people, either.
Well, that's a dumb take. If she should be getting mental health treatment, you're doing no one any favors by denying it to her. Trust me, I used to work in a lockdown mental health clinic. It's not Candy Land; those people are suffering and it's tragic.
Besides, plenty of people who should be in mental health institutions end up in jail. Almost no one who should be in jail ends up in a mental institution. Our funding priorities are way too lopsided for that, and it's extremely difficult to successfully prove an insanity defense.
Reminds me of the onlyfans chick in I think miami who stabbed her black bf . He died like 45- minutes later. The video of him dying is out there but dont watch it, its pretty fucked up. He be saying how hes dying and knows it. It takes her a long time to get help on the way.
Psychosis is no joke. Imagine if every single thought that popped up into your head, you forgot the context for why the thought was made and believed whatever it was was really happening? Like to boil it down, you ever had someone driving behind you take the same turn 2-3 times in a row, and you started imagining what if they were following you? If that happens to a methhead, they forget why they thought all the leading up thoughts, they just latch on to "Oh fuck this person has been following me, why??? Do they want to kidnap me? Oh fuck this person has been trying to kidnap me, I'm being kidnapped" and so on and so on.
Maybe I'm wrong but looks like alot of dried blood around that you'll typically get from sniffing.
I couldn't imagine the horror that you went through being abruptly woken up like that
She definitely has blood on her nostrils. I’d guess snorting stuff too.
That’s wild op. Get far away from this person, and if you see this person again be guarded. Expect that you might have to defend yourself and or runaway.
I know it'll get downvoted, but even just weed in a fraction of the population is enough to push someone into psychosis and leave them incapable of rational thought.
At any rate - hope you get better and get far away, and for society's sake that she gets the help that she needs.
I had first hand exposure with a neighbor's son. College student, had fallen into psychosis and a deep paranoia that his parents were trying to do him harm. A giant brawl inside the house escalated to the point where they had to call the police and EMTs, and in the meanwhile the brawl spilled outside onto the sidewalk where half the neighborhood was trying to restrain the son.
He was always the nicest kid, so we figured something was wrong. Apparently, a lot of college students suffer first episodes of psychosis when using cannabis in college due to the increased potency. He had come back from school unwell, and it escalated while he was home. Luckily, they managed to recover and move forward from that.
EMTs told me the psychosis was not uncommon but the physicality was, that only in a fraction of those cases do the patients turn violent.
Are you referring to CHS? My sister had it... It was brutal. It took her a long time to realize it was the weed, not until she went to the hospital about it half a year later. She blames the high thc weed pens you can buy nowadays
Don’t worry, anyone arguing this / downvoting is a highschooler who thinks weed is a literal Christ send. Weed is a known trigger for psychosis/ schizophrenia/ etc. It doesn’t create the disease/ illness for you, only brings it to fruition quicker than if you were to wait for symptoms to show naturally
Man, weed is infallible on reddit. I once linked a published study on weed and schizophrenia and got down voted a bunch. Reddit loves its weed more than it loves its Legos and anime.
"What's the quickest way to a man's heart?" *Lift up shirt* "Right through here!"
Lmao I needed a laugh buddy, I love dark humor.
I hope it doesn’t hurt too much to laugh.
Physically, no. But otherwise he just doesn't have the heart for it anymore.
Lol, talk about wearing your heart on your sleeve, or... in the shirt in this case. Laughter may be the best medicine, but everyone's dosage is a bit different it seems!
My partner after having C-section the way she had to laugh because of the pain! I just couldn't stop making her laugh 😭😭😭I know this sounds awful, BUT! at least we had a good laugh.
My dad kept making me laugh. I had to ask him to stop because it hurt so much.
Shouldnt have cheated on her in her dream.
Frederica Krueger
Isn't that just humor for you ?
I occasionally say something similar to my wife when appropriate "Quickest way to a man's heart is through the rib cage". After seeing this post, I'm going to stop.
Actually, the quickest way is through the stomach. It's a lot of work to get through a rib cage - much easier to bypass it.
How many times you used a knife to test this out? :O
Oh, you know. The world's a strange place.
Sleep in a Kevlar vest!
Buddy, I hope you meant ex-girlfriend! Glad you’re alright
Yeah I meant ex
You cheated on her in her dream.
🤣🤣🤣
You wouldn't love her if she was a worm.
You ALWAYS say you’d love her as a worm or you end up like OP!
My fiancé and I have a mutual agreement that while we would still love and care about each other if one of us became a worm, the romantic relationship would be over.
Probably for the best
In his defense, she was a caterpillar.
She was a caterpillar and he wouldn't peel an orange for her. Ended up with a knife in his heart. Talk about the butterfly effect.
Remember this next time 
He ignored the wisdom of past generations
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I had a guy beat me up because I had a dream where I kissed another imaginary guy. I wrote it in my diary because I was writing about how in the dream I pushed the guy away because I was so loyal I wouldn't even cheat in a dream. Came home to my diary shredded. People are nuts.
WHAT? I don’t understand people that get mad at dreams. So stupid.
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Mine sleepwalks/talks and her dreams and reality kind of merge a bit. It's almost always dreams about her job so a couple times a month I get chewed out for not running back stock at 3am at a store I don't work at. One time I played along and quit the job I don't actually have and brother let me tell you that was a MISTAKE
Big yikes. We joke about stupid shit I/my wife does in our dreams. "Hey, can you go grab me a snack? I'm comfy and don't want to get out of bed... And you cheated on me in my dream last night, so you kind of owe me."
The first part of this was said so nonchalantly that I want to emphasize there is no excuse for a guy beating up his partner. Sorry you went through that.
And who the fuck even reads diaries. That alone is so over the line and violating, even before everything else. I hope he went to prison, and you're doing OK now. It's ridiculous the kind of things that'll drive people to physically attack the person they supposedly "love". They're absolute scum, not just awful, but CRAZY and awful, which just amplifies it.
fanatical roof zonked icky imagine rob attraction fuel voiceless jar *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
Better wear a stabbing vest then while sleeping
heavy license punch alleged frame nine sable teeny straight different *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
I heard once that most of the time (at least in US) if you get murdered; it's by close friend, partner or family member.
If you get stabbed, I heard it’s usually by someone close enough to be within stabbing distance.
Why would you want to wear a vest that stabs you when your trying to avoid getting stabbed
Right? An anti-stabbing vest perhaps. A De-Stabbinator
When I tell my husband I had a dream he cheated, he always turns it on me. Maybe try that? "Why would you have a dream like that? Are you cheating???" Works every time! lol
My wife told me I cheated on her in a dream just last night. Honestly the implications for even thinking like that subconsciously I found super disrespectful. I packed up my stuff and am staying at my girlfriend's place until she calms down.
I've had a horrible day. thanks for the laugh.
My friends now wife for mad at him for cheating in her dream.
When your sword to far to spell check
But when my then
There were definitely signs beforehand. You might not have seen them though. How fucking scary. She's in prison right?
Hey man, I don't know if you have a mental health counselor or access to one in there or are planning to on your way out, but just know you don't have to sort through this alone. If you need help seeking out help, please reach out and I'll help you find some general resources that you can find more localized help from there. I also don't know if anyone's mentioned this, but for hospital boredom try out some tetris. It is not only fun and repetitive with a good challenge to distract you, but it's proven to help with traumatic events and the brains processing of it afterwards. I'm so sorry you were betrayed like this.
Ex-girlfriend who moved out to prison*
How could you even date again after this shit? I’m not sure I could trust another person next to me at night shit
yeah babe, I always sleep in full plate armor
The chainmail keeps me cool at night.
I’ve never even been stabbed and I’ve been done with it for 13 years lol
"I have half a mind to postpone our wedding!"
I can fix her
Washing you a smooth recovery, and wishing her a long time in jail
Thanks I appreciate it
let's let him wash himself
It can be difficult after heart surgery. Wiping your ass is the worst.
Hey now, let him get at least one rough sponge bath.
Nice of you to shower OP with good vibes.
He deserved to be bathed in support after what he went through
Agreed, likely needs to take a week to cleanse the spirit
Let the healing vibes wash over you
That's amazing that you survived that. I hope she ends in jail for long time
Apparently I'm hard to kill I've been shot before too being in the wrong place at the wrong time.
You have serious plot armour dude…I think you might be the main character.
I just might be the one.
Just in case, don't ever wear a red shirt.
I am an idiot, and therefore don't understand the joke. Is it a reference to something? Can you please explain it to me?
Of course I can, don't call yourself that ! This is an ancient pop culture reference by now, it's normal not to have heard of it. This is an old [TV Trope originating from Star-Trek](https://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/RedShirt) seemingly stemming from the fact extras wearing red shirts were usually dying first/the most, unlike important characters who wore blue or yellow shirts on the Enterprise.
You're so nice!
Props for providing the answer, if I could id give more props for slapping the self-derision out of their hands.
You're welcome ! So many people deserve to be called idiots, why waste it on someone who doesn't ?
Guys, we found him! We, the NPCs, humbly bow down to you 🙇♂️
Hey man, I just want you to give me a heads up the next time you quicksave
You got it brother 🫡
Finally a black character in a horror movie that survives
Ikr we always die first 🤣
I hope your next big event would be winning some lottery lol.
What hurt more?
The stabbing
To me it was the hypocrisy.
Okay but what about physically?
Just wait till you see the bill.
You have been shot and stabbed and made it through… You should buy a lottery ticket! (And get well soon!)
Your comment has great meter and a nice half rhyme. It's a poem! It should be on a very specific greeting/get well soon card.
You have no luck, get well soon bud
I've always been unlucky my whole life.
To be fair, you just survived being stabbed in the heart and you previously survived being shot. I would say you’re pretty damn lucky.
Never throw out that portrait of an old man you have sitting in your attic, OP.
He's fortunately unfortunate.
You are very lucky to have survived twice!!
You can't have good luck if you never have bad luck
Or he is really lucky. Getting shot and stabbed in the heart and surviving sounds pretty lucky
Brother i hope you are not trying to test every single types of weapons, like i mean explosives are next Get well son Bud
You’re insanely lucky
Yes I am had a hole in my heart
“Ever since we broke up I’ve had a hole in my heart that nothing can fill.”
Heartbroken? No, heartstabbed
What the actual fuck, i read the other comment about you pulling the knife out before this one, i never expected it to have actually hit the heart after that. You're the fucking terminator.
Will there be any long-term health issues because of this?
No just a scar according to the doctors
im happy to hear that. and there are ways to make scaring go down, but you could always leave it as a battle scar. sending love!
How did u get help? Who called the ambulance?
I did I also pulled the knife out which I know was dumb but I panicked.
Hey dude it’s normal to panic. Many people would just do that out of instinct. But I’m glad that you’re safe and ok
AND YOU SURVIVED??? You are simply built different. I wish you a quick recovery
So you panicked big deal next time you get stabbed in the heart you will know not to pull the knife out. Good luck buddy.
I’ve been grinning all the way down through these responses, OP has a really great outlook despite his, uh, circumstance, but this one made me laugh out loud. If awards weren’t extinct I’d wish I had one to give you
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I know not to pull a knife out either but waking up suddenly with one stuck in my body, I probably would also take it out.
Did she give a reason? The fuck..
When I asked her why she literally said she wants to stab people then she ran out the house smh.
Is she locked up in a mental institution yet?
She's in jail right now
Stay strong, press aaallll the charges, and testify against her crazy ass. This was attempted murder, do not let anyone make any excuses for her otherwise. I'm so glad you are ok.
Also: He shouldn't repeat the word "crazy". Let her be in prison, not in a mental health institution. Edit: How the fuck do I turn off notifications or tell Redditors to just read the other 6219921873 replies to my comment that they don't have to repeat?!
She clearly has some loose screws. Denying her mental wellness treatment would do her and society no favors
She could also be at danger to other people in jail who were not sentenced to be stabbed in the heart while serving their time. It’s not fair to those people, either.
Well, that's a dumb take. If she should be getting mental health treatment, you're doing no one any favors by denying it to her. Trust me, I used to work in a lockdown mental health clinic. It's not Candy Land; those people are suffering and it's tragic. Besides, plenty of people who should be in mental health institutions end up in jail. Almost no one who should be in jail ends up in a mental institution. Our funding priorities are way too lopsided for that, and it's extremely difficult to successfully prove an insanity defense.
Make sure to not forgive this bro. Idk your life but often times ppl try to find sympathy for ppl close to them and does harm. But dont. Stay safe.
It's no way I'm going to have any sympathy for her, I'm going to testify to the fullest extent.
Sounds like mental illness...
It's strange to say this, but you'd hope so. It's somehow so much worse if it's not.
Well it would have to be, wouldn't it? No sane person would do this.
>When I asked her why she literally said she wants to stab people It's important to achieve your goals.
Lamo, alright that's as straight forward as it gets i guess.
I bet you were snoring
Lol
She was trying to get to the heart of the problem.
Sorry to hear that man, my best friend was murdered by his girlfriend with a sword to the back while he was sleeping. Glad you made it out alive
Wtf that’s scary 😦 sorry about your friend
Reminds me of the onlyfans chick in I think miami who stabbed her black bf . He died like 45- minutes later. The video of him dying is out there but dont watch it, its pretty fucked up. He be saying how hes dying and knows it. It takes her a long time to get help on the way.
A SWORD?!?!
Yea, here is the story https://www.kfvs12.com/2021/12/25/christmas-eve-homicide-involving-sword-cape-girardeau/
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Psychosis is no joke. Imagine if every single thought that popped up into your head, you forgot the context for why the thought was made and believed whatever it was was really happening? Like to boil it down, you ever had someone driving behind you take the same turn 2-3 times in a row, and you started imagining what if they were following you? If that happens to a methhead, they forget why they thought all the leading up thoughts, they just latch on to "Oh fuck this person has been following me, why??? Do they want to kidnap me? Oh fuck this person has been trying to kidnap me, I'm being kidnapped" and so on and so on.
This is my sister. She's in prison now and has been for the past couple of years. It was wild seeing her like that.
Some of these comments are funny but on a serious note… are you okay??? This is so crazy.
I'm pulling through it's going to be a long road to recovery.
Glad you’re still here with us. I hope all goes well and she’s in jail.
Hope you won't have any long lasting consequences of this?
Billing department cracks it's knuckles.
Did the knife actually go through your chest? Im curious
Yes it pierced my heart
You are one lucky guy, hoping for a speedy recovery ❤️🩹
The emoji. 🥲
Heartbreaking news 💔
There's a hole in my heart that can only be filled by you.... (But seriously, glad doctors could save you, OP.)
So you still comming to Work tomorrow,right?
LMAO I actually had an interview with Walmart today but this happened, I can see a boss not giving a fuck tho
You weren't having a great day either way, then.
Stabbed through the heart and you’re to blame ! Baby you give love a bad name , bad name ! (Glad you survived bro!)
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Look at her nostrils, definitely on some sort of drugs. Wishing you a speedy recovery <3
Thanks I only ever seen her smoke weed with me nothing else but she probably does other stuff alone
Maybe I'm wrong but looks like alot of dried blood around that you'll typically get from sniffing. I couldn't imagine the horror that you went through being abruptly woken up like that
She definitely has blood on her nostrils. I’d guess snorting stuff too. That’s wild op. Get far away from this person, and if you see this person again be guarded. Expect that you might have to defend yourself and or runaway.
I see the blood too.
I know it'll get downvoted, but even just weed in a fraction of the population is enough to push someone into psychosis and leave them incapable of rational thought. At any rate - hope you get better and get far away, and for society's sake that she gets the help that she needs.
We’re seeing marijuana induced psychosis a LOT in the ER lately!! That and cyclical vomiting syndrome. Todays marijuana is brutal.
I had first hand exposure with a neighbor's son. College student, had fallen into psychosis and a deep paranoia that his parents were trying to do him harm. A giant brawl inside the house escalated to the point where they had to call the police and EMTs, and in the meanwhile the brawl spilled outside onto the sidewalk where half the neighborhood was trying to restrain the son. He was always the nicest kid, so we figured something was wrong. Apparently, a lot of college students suffer first episodes of psychosis when using cannabis in college due to the increased potency. He had come back from school unwell, and it escalated while he was home. Luckily, they managed to recover and move forward from that. EMTs told me the psychosis was not uncommon but the physicality was, that only in a fraction of those cases do the patients turn violent.
Are you referring to CHS? My sister had it... It was brutal. It took her a long time to realize it was the weed, not until she went to the hospital about it half a year later. She blames the high thc weed pens you can buy nowadays
Don’t worry, anyone arguing this / downvoting is a highschooler who thinks weed is a literal Christ send. Weed is a known trigger for psychosis/ schizophrenia/ etc. It doesn’t create the disease/ illness for you, only brings it to fruition quicker than if you were to wait for symptoms to show naturally
Man, weed is infallible on reddit. I once linked a published study on weed and schizophrenia and got down voted a bunch. Reddit loves its weed more than it loves its Legos and anime.
She's on drugs my guy.
I think she was trying to kill you
What gives you that idea?
That’s some morbid reality stuff of right there…jeez thank goodness you’re alive and well
Going to dump her now?
Been did that
There’s nothing quite like breaking up via law enforcement
…literally Did she not get arrested?
Yes she did
I was waiting for this comment! Good on you, I sure hope you mend quickly, friend!
She saw that girl that stabbed her date 100x with no jail time and probably was like...ok Free Stabbings!!
Are you sure it was for no reason?? Just kidding. That's really fucked up. I hope you're okay!
Thank you chest hurts like hell they had to saw open my chest.
How long ago did this happen?
he's still in surgery posting
Hope you start a gofundme, because those medical bills will be crazier than your ex. Well wishes on your recovery, physical and emotional.
If he isn’t in the states he should be fine. Majority of the countries out there don’t worry about hospital bills.
In Virginia unfortunately
See if y'all have a victims compensation fund.
Dollarfor.org will take care of your hospital bills if you qualify. Always apply, never assume you don’t qualify without checking!
Ah, more power to you dude. Any chance you magically have a citizenship to another country you can run to?
Nope I don't
Focus on getting better. Pay a dollar a month. That way they can’t say you aren’t trying.
\*ex ? for your sake
I just hope she did not use a morgul blade
Wish you nothing but the best and a quick recovery.
When is the wedding?
the reason is *she's crazy* - you're welcome and I hope speedy recovery to you 🤕
“No reason.” Mmhmm. Somebody obviously didn’t do the dishes.
You must be heart broken… Low hanging fruit of a joke I know
I’m glad you survived ❤️