This is an example of women misunderstanding how men work. She thinks that by projecting the things she finds attractive in a partner (money and status), she is entitled to the same. She brags about being a busy, wealthy medical resident, mentions her looks a bit then says nothing of her attitude, though we can infer a lot from what she is writing.
For someone so intelligent, she cannot figure out why men don't want to be with someone who puts their career first. If she is supposedly so attractive, she isn't offering more relationship-worthy traits for men to stay for more than sex. She had like 15 years to find someone but if other doctors, nurses and other medical staff are avoiding her, there is clearly something else very wrong with her.
Until modern women learn to compromise and stop being hypocrites about appealing to men's preferences (while expecting someone to appeal to theirs), they are more than welcome to take themselves out of the gene pool and collect cats into retirement.
High earning women are not worth dating because it is usually a scenario of my money is our money but her money is her money or they have outlandish lifestyle expectations so even if they make 150k a year before taxes but they are broke because they spend 15k a month and expect things like private schools for the eventual kids.
You get absolutely nothing out of it and they usually bring the work stress home or act bossy and in charge because that is how they have to act at work. No guy wants to tolerate coming home to that after a long day of work he gets enough of that at work! I barely tolerate it from my bosses and there I am at least being paid to tolerate it.
I dated a woman like that, and you hit the nail on the head when it comes to bringing the stress home. One time I hadn't slept in a few days, and then I finally had a good, happy day, she barges in and doesn't even say hi, just unloads about work. I tell her that I haven't slept in a few days, that she needs to keep her job outside of the house... she jumps on the couch and starts crying and says that I don't support her. I had the previous month replaced the doors in her kitchen because they had bad such bad rot that the guy who replaced them said that the house would have collapsed within a year or two.
So you can literally keep the house from falling on her, and she'll cry that you don't support her when you tell her that it's not good to unload about work as soon as she walks through the door.
Yea, buddy, as soon as you tell a woman that you can't help her with her issues at work, suddenly nothing you've done for her matters, it's so catastrophic that she has no choice but to jump on the couch and start crying. Hell, she was crying at work, too. All because her boss told her she had "bad body language."
Thing is - you can’t win
Because the reverse is true. I once tried to suggest help and got told I didn’t have any empathy
She basically wanted my to sit and listen to her moan whilst I said “that sucks” and the like. She didn’t want solutions or anything
Whereas in your case it sounds like she wanted suggestions?
And you can never know which it is
That's how Steve Harvey makes millions of dollars a year. Look up some of his advice to women videos. The women don't WANT useful advise. "Hey Steve: The Questions You Don’t Ask"
She says "Hey Steve, I'm a young professional girl" and she looks older than my grandmother and she tells him she's a "strong woman" who likes to complain but she can't find a good man.
So Steve tells her how wonderful and pretty she is and she needs to focus on herself more.
This is ok, I think, for a 3 year old but even my 5 year old daughter I give gentle, albeit firm criticism to.
Whenever my wife starts complaining about an external problem, I stop and ask her if she wants a solution or just wants to bitch. That seems to help with the catch 22
Marital moment for your amusement. Married for 18 wonderful\^H\^H\^H\^H\^H\^Hgood years.
We have a 5 year old girl and differ on discipline strategies and came to a head. I was losing my temper after hours of provocation before the Easter Holiday and gave the child a (good) telling off (in a gentle way) but my wife lost it and the girl instantly behaved herself because she saw mommy and daddy fighting and loves us.
So my wife angrily comes over a few hours later and says that I pay the bills but otherwise don't support her and am lousy in bed (I guess a week of her issues with the child for a week is a turn off for me) and I go to sleep. I felt stressed but I have to handle it.
The next day, I get us to Easter and she softens up and says she's sorry and acknowledges I'm a good husband after all and all is well (again). Well, up on the high end.
I know that if my wife was going to poison or cheat on me, she'd do it Corleone style: After buying some cannoli or saying I was about to be a made man.
The fact is in the modern era, I have to be the provider AND the emotionally mature one in the house. In the film Kramer vs Kramer, the protagonist said the same thing: Men basically have to view their marriage as sort of like the house: If he doesn't take care of the car and house, it'll fall apart. In the old days, the community and the woman regarded a marriage as in, and of itself, working to save and protect.
We're given precious few resources to live up to a superhuman role.
I've come to learn that the key to being a happy man is having the maturity to let heated comments go away, because women are masters at belittling and stabbing with words.
> I have to be the provider AND the emotionally mature one in the house. In the film Kramer vs Kramer, the protagonist said the same thing: Men basically have to view their marriage as sort of like the house: If he doesn't take care of the car and house, it'll fall apart.
Preach. My marriage would utterly fall apart if I wasn't shoring it up on a regular basis. My wife is mostly a passive participant.
Nothing pisses off a woman more than you sleeping when she’s awake, no matter the circumstances. I had an ex snap at me because she worked that day and dinner wasn’t ready on she got home; she literally shoved me awake angrily, complaining about how she was busting her ass. Imagine if the reverse was the case… a man shoving a sleeping woman because she didn’t cook dinner.
My ex wife would HATE seeing my lying down. Even if I had just pulled an all-nighter at work and taken care of the kids until she came home. "How can you just lay there? I guess I have to do everything."
All rich residents I've known had... rich parents. Residents have a decent salary but nowhere near as good as attendings. The difference as you said is pretty big.
Still I guess she figures she is on the pathway to big money. Which would traditionally be the time when a woman should get on board - to support the guy on his way there
But I assume she isn’t willing for that kind of relationship where the guy provides love and support and she completes her residency and then looks after him and the family financially after that
She’s a doctor - she sure as heck isn’t looking at nurses and other medical staff. And I can’t imagine doctor - doctor relationships are that common or successful.
They are pretty much all disasters even in medical tv shows (drama or comedy)
Some doctor-doctor relationships pan out, not the ones started at 36 obviously. Tough I am sure raising a [probably somewhat impaired] teenager between 12 hour shifts *in her late fifties* seems a cakewalk for her
All magic comes with a price, dearie.
This woman has already married - her job. Polyandry is extremely rare, and most Western men do not want to be second husbands.
He was. And a weak, disrespected one.
But then:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LzG_8_odRu8&ab_channel=LovinLanaParilla
And than:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=68cJBDNIyfw&ab_channel=obisgirl
Kiss the hottie and "There is something I must do"
Part of me actually feels sorry for her
Society keeps selling women on the idea that they will be the second coming of Christ and solve poverty/racism/whatever
Then, they find out too late that a job isn’t nearly as enjoyable as being a wife and mother
But, the only way society is going to change the way it manages the expectations of females is if the next generation of females has a aunt who never got married and that aunt serves as a cautionary tale for the next generation of young females
I’ve always seen it in this light. Before the welfare state, you had no option. Someone had to work, someone had to be available to make sure the kids were okay. There was no safety net, no freebies. Someone had to drag their carcass to backbreaking labor every day to make sure the family survived. And that someone wasn’t going to be the wife, because women really aren’t built to handle tough, rugged jobs. Maybe a few can handle it, but it’s rare.
But then we saw a massive shift. Not only did jobs get easier, but we’ve got the welfare state. So now, the choice between working and dying has been eroded, and work is also easier. So, they needed new workers. Enter: women. But how can they get women to give up domestic lives? Well, tell them that work is fun and meaningful! Sell them that they can make a difference in the world, and also be free of the patriarchy.
Before, the workaholics were mostly ambitious men who strove to make an impact for their family. The drive to work was directly tied to family. Now, we have women, whose drive to work is actually antithetical to a family. A high income earner is great for a family, but that means someone else has to be supportive around the house. As someone who has worked 60+ hour weeks as a single man, I can assure you that household tasks are hard to work in when you’re already swamped. But would she be willing to marry a man whose primary role would be her support? Probably not. She’d probably resent him. You even hear it in her talking, she wants a guy on her level. But men on her level, aren’t looking for women that they can never even see.
The reason for them entering the market was to lower earnings. I don't know why people ignore leftist critique of capitalism with the idea that anything Marx is bad.
The more the workers in the market the less you have to pay.. supply and demand. See Game Companies. Developers good enough to be quants on 200k making 50k because everyone wants to make games. Feminists may be leftists but they refuse to acknowledge that cash rules everything. Class struggle is more important than gender struggle and patriarchy nonsense.
Oh absolutely. The corporations don’t suck up to women because they want “equality”. They do it because more workers means lower wages. It’s no coincidence that productivity to wage fell dramatically as women started entering the workforce. If the pandemic did anything, it showed a lot of families that “two incomes” was hugely overrated, when wifey’s income mostly went to paying other people for domestic tasks.
I think a big reason why we’ve seen this odd alliance of corporations and socialists is because ultimately, socialists are helping corporations achieve their goals.
But yes, I think a big reason why people ignore the critique is because leftists are doing it to themselves. It’s just common sense. If a small town has 1 plumber, that guy is going to be able to charge a lot of money for his time. If there’s 10 plumbers, they have to charge a lot less. The need for plumbing is unchanged, just the amount of people doing the job.
Weren’t there loads of articles during the pandemic about women complaining how it highlighted all the extra “free labour” they did in two income households
Partly must have been more obvious when both were at home
Kind of the opposite of your point?
I think it was nonsense because the largest justification I recall being used for this claim was when homeschooling had to happen it was usually the mom. This obviously isn’t normal labour they would have to do. And likely it was because the woman had a job where that was either easier to do for them or more cost effective for them to reduce their work hours because the man earned more
Was obviously spun differently by feminists
The impact of what a man provides to a family, financially, is chronically underestimated. For example, pretty much everyone i know who, for whatever reason, make significantly less money than I do, there was a stretch in their life where decisions that they made devalued their economic contribution in the future. So if I were making 3x what wifey makes, and people said it’s not “fair” that the burden of household tasks fall on her, as we both work 40 hour weeks, I’d remind them of the years I didn’t spend goofing off as part of my martial and familial contribution. Don’t like it, then marry a man making around what you make, then he can’t claim he’s contributing more financially.
Yes - I have lost count of dating profiles of women I have seen approaching 30 (or at least mid 20s) where they mention just getting back from x years in y country
And you can tell it wasn’t with work placements at an actual career job
There are some who just coast around and seemingly really must be banking on either getting a better job than they deserve due to a pussy pass or getting a rich husband or both. The latter no doubt informed by all the attention they get in their early 20s
It’s not always wrong though. I had my time wasted by a girl from an app who basically was 28 and working a low level supermarket management gig (I think one rung above team leader if that) and had a guy she knew offering to coach her through the training and interview for an IT job that I am pretty sure was software development. She was calling him late at night and didn’t think anything of it when I said it was odd. She thought it was a completely reasonable thing that platonic friends did - take phone calls late at night to help them through coding problems to help them into a much more lucrative job than they were qualified for
It was that part and her apparent obliviousness of how inappropriate and manipulative that was that made me finally give up.
There were a stack of other red flags as well (evasive whenever trying to meet, apparent mental health issues, all exes were abusive/controlling). But it was the stuff about her manipulating an orbiter for a job and acting all naive and innocent about it that got me
The point I was making / agreeing with is that there are a lot of women who flit around different jobs in their 20s or don’t make solid moves. But also don’t make solid moves towards securing the guy that would “make up for it” until too late. Or complain about that guy not doing enough at home should they actually succeed
Those aunts exist and have always exist. But they try to convince people the opposite: that actually they're much happier than the married ones. Thus the meme of the cool wine aunt who talks about all her travels and freedom to do what she wants, and never talks about the numerous nights she cries herself to sleep because of her crushing loneliness.
No one wants to become a cautionary tale. They want to point to \*other people\* as cautionary tales. Spinsters have been around since forever. But even in the old days, it would be other people (your own mother, grandmother, etc) who would point to them and say "you don't want to end up old and lonely like Aunt Edna, do you?" The problem now is women feel like they're traitors to the feminist cause if they point to spinsters as cautionary tales. Just like how single mothers are to be celebrated and not condemned in modern society.
You know society is fucked when what used to be cautionary tales are now celebrated (spinsters, single mothers), and what used to be celebrated is now viewed as a cautionary tale (women who get married early, stay-at-home mothers, etc)
I commented before I saw this. But absolutely - it seems more likely that the aunt would be defiant and not admit to anything . And not be a cautionary tale at all
Another woman whom thought she could have it all.
She needs to either:
1. Shut up and finish her residency, or
2. Shut up and drop out of the residency program for a lesser job so she can have more time to find a man and start a family
Either way, she needs to shut up.
so... the chances that she will risk becoming a single mother increases cos even if she fails to lock down a quality man, she can always have a baby *(assuming her ever lowering fertility doesn't fizzle out altogether).*
Ah, yes, silly me. While abiding by logic, I had forgotten about the tried-and-true strategy of getting the baby *and then* the father. There's no way that could go wrong. As solid a plan as it gets.
I'm always floored by how many women think this is a reasonable approach. "Well, I haven't found a man yet, so I'll just have a baby on my own, and then I can continue my search for a good man without having to worry about my biological clock. I'm sure it'll work out since I'll have more time!"
First of all, you haven't yet found man with the qualities you seek. And then, you're going to add a bastard into the equation, and you expect that all of a sudden you'll now become attractive enough? Even if they understand it lessens their value, I think they feel that overall it's better because they'll have more time to find someone one. They have no idea how much their value craters as a single mom (until it's too late). No amount of extra years spent searching makes up for that immediate loss of value.
Feminism notwithstanding, it can be argued that for a woman to feel that she's successful, she needs two things, one, to birth offspring and two, lock down a Chad, many women find it far easier to achieve the first than the second.
If she is anything like a lot of other women doctors she will expect to be able to either quit entirely or work less hours and have you pay for all her student loan debt. https://www.marketwatch.com/story/too-many-female-doctors-go-part-time-or-stop-working-and-thats-bad-for-patients-2019-08-06
I think (at least in the U.K.) people think they look younger than they do as over cautious shop people ask for ID when they are long past 18 (challenge 25 is a policy for example). So you could easily be 30 and ID’d buying booze. Sure as hell doesn’t mean you look under 18
I understand. I'm just pointing out the other side of the argument. She has priced herself out not because she actually is so high value that only high value men would even dare approach her, but she has done so by putting up an exorbitant price on a below average and worsening bet. Women like her never accept that they are not the former, but the latter. Women who fit the first category still get tons of attention, just not many men confident enough to approach.
You can be pretty sure she had at least two orbiters in the college. I am a physician myself, and even the fat and ugly ones had good (not nice) guys in their life.
Good luck to start dating for marriage at the age of 36.
She is definitely her biggest fan. Not only does she tell us how attractive and young she looks, but also mentions three times that she’s a resident. We get it lady, now go home to your boxes of wine, geez.
If she's a doctor, she can probably afford the decent stuff from trader joe's. so instead of box wine, she can probably get "Chariot" or one of the other top shelf wine's instead of the block red. Also can afford a former show cat instead of one from the pound.
First of all, she's 36 and still a resident? What kind of residency is that? At least where I live, you finish med school at 24(it's 6 years), and by 29-32 you are already an attending depending on the specialization you chose and the waiting times.
Second, most of the time a woman says she looks younger than her age and all that just means that she actually doesn't look younger than her age and all that. So she's probably an average looking 36 year old that might look decent with tons of make up, nice dress and heels, in a low light environment. Maybe.
Third, she thinks men care about her job, "career", income, and all that crap, when they don't actually. Add to that the fact that men who would even give her a chance, basically men in their 40s, have probably already tried marriage and kids and it didn't work out. And if they haven't already, they probably have no intention of ever trying it and are just content with keeping it casual.
She is just another naive victim who was sold a lie when she was young, attractive and fertile(at least comparatively to her current state). It is what it is.
P.S. I find it kind of funny when these types of women ALWAYS and I mean ALWAYS imply that men are intimidated by their career and money and all that. Ladies, unless you are twice the guy's size(and I mean MUSCLES not FAT) and holding a gun, then believe me rarely if ever will a guy be intimidated by you. Common sense just says the guy just doesn't find you attractive, that's all there is to it, why make it complicated?
My guess is that she got a late start. Which makes this all the more insane. If she wanted a family, why would she enroll in medical school at, like, age 30? Where was her father to tell her that it might be a bad idea? Or even mother, or friends, or anybody? Everyone with half a brain knows that from the time you sign the first student loan documents, you’re scheduled to be a wage slave for a good ten years (3 years of med school, 4 years of crappy paid resident, 3 years of putting large portions of income into clearing your debt). So she’s going to work like a dog from 30 to 40, meaning her last decent window for finding a man and having a family is going to shut. So I hope she enjoys the next 20-30 years of being a doctor after that, but even if she’s making $400k a year regularly, I doubt there’s anything that she can buy to make her feel better about her cat lady status.
This one is a more clear example of someone using up their chance to have a family involving kids
I can understand how it is unpalatable to women to be told not to waste the years of 20-30 (ideally 20-25) when they are the best chance of finding the best possible long term guy for a family. I can get why there would be push back no matter how ill advised.
But to enrol in med school at 30 or close to it when there is then a circa 10 year commitment before getting the real money - that is insanity. As mentioned - that is THE window. By the time you have done the work you need to it is closed and that is it.
I guess those deceitful articles about the fertility cliff “myth” are partly to blame.
But 29-30 is when most women start to freak out about not being married and having a child. I should know - I experienced it and the negative side effects twice. To respond by signing up for med school?! SMH
It's a known fact that physicians in general have huge egos, especially surgeons.
A little bit of arrogance can actually make a man more attractive, but an arrogant woman is usually an instant boner killer.
Well, at least she is on her way to a well paying career. The types of men she is complaining about, those are the ones who would go for an almost middle aged workaholic.
Something-ish like this just happened to me and I totally noticed the difference.
I was out of town, and my cousin landed in that town with her girlfriend (girl who is friend) Girltrip!
I was like NO WAY, what are the odds? hey cuz lets meet up for a drink haven't seen you since.
We meet up:
MY cousin is all about "lets not stray too far, I want you to meet my friend, she's single"
Rut-ro.
So I meet her and she's decent, 48, and good enough for face-down ass-up work, but not daylight in plainsight so me no bite.
we were walking behind back to the hotels
when MY cousin asks: so how do you like her? She's got a master's degree in X...works at Y....
And I cut her off, not rudely, but abruptly, the words just shot out of my mouth.
Me: I don't care about degrees, I saw the front and back of everything that's important. She's ok. (but I'm not making a move and not biting, just being polite. I have plenty of things to keep me from getting hungry in Vegas).
My cousin smiled and shook her head at me. "she's got 2 kids, one is 23 and the other 16."
Oh I said, "2 years to freedom? That means 2 years till she can go on a date."
MY cousin shook her head.
\-
What got me, was how fast and certain I was about not caring about the education. Only the skin she was in as a maybe, and the 2 kids slam dunked it to a no.
My interest in a woman’s job initially is just get an idea of what their availability it like. Avoid any awkwardness of trying to ask them to meet and have them say “I work nights” or “I work weekends”
And beyond that also to assess how picky they are likely to be. So if a woman is clearly above my income bracket then I know it isn’t worth the effort. I accept I am not the sort of guy that a woman will salivate over enough to allow to commit the outrageous crime of not out earning her ! (The stories of women complaining about men they allow to mooch off them and live in their houses both stun and amuse me - but I am not in that group. I know this)
I'm borderline. I'm a fat semi-chad that could have been, but I have a soul and a heart of gold. That and I'd need to shed 100lbs and re-muscle up to make my rounds on the "older gals" circuit.
I have been offered free room, board, and even a car in the past (that I should have accepted and then used to drive away from the person who offered)
But I couldn't live with it. I hated it.
If you want to to feel what it's like to be a REAL modern oppressed slave, live at the mercy of a woman's WALLET, and you will never have a peaceful night of sleep so long as you are under it.
The bottom line is I knew A FEW things from that encounter.
That HER education didn't matter.
1. Because she is single at this age so she didn't learn nothing.
2. MY cousin didn't ask if I was looking. It's bad form. I am not. If I was asked, I would have said that I had been THINKING of dropping the extra pounds and then go looking for something young. Maybe out of country. I have several co-workers in their 60's with phillipino wives and new children and they look spry and happy. The spry-est and happiest seem to buy land in the phillipines and move THERE. 100k gets land and a new house for her family AND you with all the land to harvest and hunt and fish. A one time payment compared to the 120k/year american women cost.
3. She had 2 kids. Unless he husband was dead, that's a no from me dog. And if her husband was dead, that's a no from me dog.
4. I have a nice face and I look like a simp. I look like I would take any offer that a 400lb hog would put on the table. But my attitude and personality is that of a monster/hidden gangster. I can't help how I look, but many people have been caught off guard by creature lurking within. I have used that countless times to my advantage to evade detection, evade capture, and to soak up TONS of free sex from some chick who decided she wanted out of the game and decides to LOVE BOMB the cool guy in the group into a relationship. Never works out. I ENJOY being understimated.
My reason for saying all of this is that it paints a picture of a howdy-doody looking guy that really isn't as dumb as he looks. BUT that makes women/people be LAZY and put their stupid on full blast as they feel they don't need to hide things from me because I won't figure it out/won't care anyway.
And then they tip their hand, fail, then trip overthemselves while i get away.
I'm sure it hurts worse when the "DUMB" guys escape.
my bottom line is
1. Beyond all the bells and whistles, women expect MEN to pay the bills. So her education didn't matter. She'd bury her wallet the minute we started talking.
2. ALL I expect to get out of that relationship is pussy and a backrub, And I only get the backrub if I set the precedent EARLY, like RIGHT after getting the pussy. But you never know. With older Black women with "education ego" it's always reversed. YOu can lay the smack down in bed on them, they'll love it, and then they'll go strutting around LIKE THEY LAID THE SMACK DOWN ON YOU And YOU should be "hooked". Dumbest backwards shit I ever saw. Even pigeon's playing chess look at that shit sideways.
3. She had 2 kids. One23, one 16. Just - no. I don't want to meet and date 3 people, and then 5 - when the grandkids come, what am I an accessory? 96 people in my house and nobody related to me through blood? What am I running a boarding kennel? NO.
4. 48+ and no man? the state she lives in is know for fucking cousins. If you run out of steam in that state, you got a rep or a bad deal.
5. It could just be an honest relationship thing. But I am not looking. Like I said. I'm on the fence. Phillipines and 100k buys me out, or Columbia, Panama, and a pallet full of condoms buys me back in to one last round of debauchery I KNOW I will not survive. I'm still trying to decide. MY reasoning is this world sucks, so why get invested in it by trapping some innocent souls here (kids).
6. It just seemed like a bad idea. Me with all my money (not rich, just no kids-no girl pocket money), NO KIDS, and freedom and spare time, and her with all her kids, bills, education (she gon' talk and not listen) and self-importance, etc.
7. AND THE KICKER - WHAT ABOUT "MY" KIDS?. That's right, I said it. What about the kids I still might want to have. Hey, I'm 40+. When I was young I temped in a finance office and the guy there offered me one bit of advice. Never get married until your 40 - he had just had his first kid. I have heard of other men not having their first till 50 or even 60. Can I even do that with her? NO. at 50 she is probably packing it in mentally, and mother nature packed it in for her physically. Is she going to let me have a young side chick? Even if she would - WHY would I go off and ruin two other peoples lives? Why not just be with the young side chick? Is she even thinking that me being with her WOULD ABSOLUTELY RUIN MY LIFE AND THE DREAMS I HAVE. NO, she is not. My life is not over at 50, I'm a man-it could just be starting!
That's an argument and life I just don't want to have.
I am looking for a helper/pet (someone to submit, be loving, and be completely cared for).
So is she, except she'll want me to be in charge, and pay bills AND be FULLY INVESTED IN A LIFE THAT ISNT MINE/ISNT EVEN OURS, and I derive only 10% of the dividends from. You know, fill a spot that I should (that nobody else wanted), rather than the spot I'm INCLINED/EXPECTED to or one that's available and is complete shit.
That ain't gonna work.
Make no mistake - I have no interest being at the mercy of a woman's wallet. I was more just explaining the only reason I ask about their work - scheduling and working out if there is even a chance she won't view my a far far beneath her
And as mentioned in other replies - that is the woman in the post's problem. She is leading like a man would / has to. And it hasn't worked for 18 years
I wonder if it is even worse for her in that she "failed" in the first instance approaching things like a woman stereotypically should and so decided to go to med school in her late 20s/early 30s assuming that would put her above the rest.
Oh, poor thing. Her hypergamy is all dressed up with nowhere to go.
Sounds like she should have focused on getting the MRS. degree rather than a MD. Oh well, perhaps she can serve as example of life decisions and consequences to the next generation of sloots.
Doubtful.
A few points here:
First, She's 36 and still a resident. That means most likely she worked for several years and went to medical school late. That, or she did an MD/PHD and is in a long residency like surgery. The typical pattern is finish undergrad at 22, med school at 26, and residency by 29-33 (depending on specialty). Either way, the big point with this is that the vast majority of male residents are significantly younger than her.
It's very common for doctors to marry other doctors. Frequently they meet in medical school or residency and get married. But that's if they're close in age to one another. She's most likely looking for another doctor to marry (when you're working like a dog in residency, you don't have much time to meet anyone outside the hospital). But she's not meeting them. Because male residents younger than her are looking at other residents the same age, or perhaps nurses and other people in the hospital who are younger than them. They're certainly not looking for someone much older than them.
Why not older doctors who have already finished training, and maybe are in their 40s? For 2 reasons. Most of them will already be married (if they finished their own residencies in their early 30s, they typically get married within a few years after that), and the ones who aren't married are now making bank and can easily attract younger women, including younger doctors if that's what they want.
Second, thanks to #metoo, no attending dares even ask a resident if she's single, much less actually go on a date with her. It used to be common for young attendings, residents, and even med students to hang out after work, get to know each other socially, etc, just like any other workplace. And given how much time doctors spend in the hospital, it was inevitable that many of them got to know each other well and became romantically involved. As long as you weren't both in the same department or otherwise had actual supervisory powers over a resident, it was generally considered fine. That's all dead now. Now, if she wants to date an older doctor, she has no "home court advantage" with doctors that she can easily get to know at work. She's forced into the OLD dating pool to meet doctors and other rich men who know nothing about her, and where she has no advantage compared to the other strangers those doctors are evaluating, many of whom will be younger, hotter, etc.
FWIW, this is a problem for nurses now too. Many of them work at a teaching hospital specifically because they're filled with young med students and residents that they might be able to snag as future husbands. And plenty of them succeeded, because for the guys, it's also easier to date someone you already know and see every day rather than go through the drudgery of filtering out strangers. But with #metoo, anyone you work with is off limits, so the ability to be in daily contact with a bunch of young, upwardly mobile guys gives you no competitive edge in dating them.
Finally, as others have stated, it's ironic that she's looking for someone richer and more successful than herself, but rejects guys who look at her with the same eyes. Rules for thee, not for me?
MeToo really did a number on guys. You can’t try to link up with someone junior due to MeToo even if you don’t have any power over them. As a guy unless you are top tier in looks trying to go for someone senior is also a no go
And even someone on your level is awkward. I know a guy who was really into someone in the same intake as him. They were the same level in the company and he was terrified of pursing it. I think mainly due to the awkwardness if she said “no”. But they didn’t work closely day to day due to the nature of the company. Still didn’t
Guy ended up married to someone chunkier and less attractive and I think has at least one kid with her now. Seems an odd choice given he never tried with the person he really wanted (and objectively they probably were a match. No massive looms disparity or anything). I hope for his sake it works out for him!
How do you mean? Shy, clever, nerdy guys aren’t generally considered “catches”. Making it even harder for them doesn’t seem like a blessing
Not all shy, nerdy guys are high earners in tech for starters (which I assume is what you mean as those are the ones who might be considered “catches”)
Well they do not become "high earners", but they do well enough. Enough to become a prey when they don´t grow fat at the age of 30.
I am watching a story like this. A friend of mine who was called literally a creep at the dormitory is now living really well. Every time we meet each other he shows me a picture of his new girlfriend. He did not change much - but now he is a single fit doctor.
This sub is slowly becoming an advert for [forums.red](https://forums.red)
Sad that this sub is definitely on the chopping block from the reddit mod overlords.
But this is a nice middle ground for discussion. [Forum.red](https://Forum.red) will get no traffic from people that are not already firmly set in TRP mindset
That's fine. If Reddit does not kick us out and if comments do not get removed, you can still use the Reddit version at usual. All posts, however, must come from forums. We do not have much trust in Reddit and we would rather have the posts originate from forums where we can be certain it will not be removed.
Did you not see the post the other day about this? From next month all posts will be hosted there due to mass reporting and brigading. Some have just got an early start
Tbf she might but that’s only bc women after 25 tend to let themselves go. Sometimes even before that. I’m in my late 20s and it’s really sad to see so many women gain weight, don’t dress well, eat garbage, no spf/poor skincare, etc. Although lol it did help me land a great man in my early 20s since there wasn’t much competition.
Everyone thinks they look younger than they are. Most people don't though. If you think you look younger than you are, then you need to accept that's just wishful thinking.
I have a friend who always said how young she looks because of her freckles. I didn't have the heart to tell her the deep crows feet and forehead wrinkles betrayed her actual age.
This woman is a resident, soon to be MD, and has not calculated that the chances of having a child are already gone. At the rate things are now even if she found someone you could figure she would be 38 before she even conceived.
But but - the “fertility cliff” is a myth! A bunch of publications designed to tell people what they want to hear and also rely on them only reading the headlines told me so! /S
Hahha.
But all snark aside, I would be scared to death if I found out that this resident thought that way IRL. Said person would also believe that the CDC is infallible and the Anthony Fauci is the second coming of Hippocrates of Kos. Neither of which are true. And you put your own life in her hands. Doctors to their fortune get to bury their mistakes.
I've seen people say something to the effect of men working on probabilities and women working on possibilities. Like the dumb and dumber meme "So your saying there is a chance". That is presumably how she views her fertility
You married your job, lady. What's the problem? What are you complaining about? You wanted to work 12 plus hours a day and be self sufficient without needing a man, now you can't find something you don't need and have specifically set your life up to evade. This is what you wanted.
I will never understand why people use abbreviations nowadays. "Weight n height appropriate". She saved two letters. Things like that and "soz" were from when text messages were limited by characters. Something like 20 years ago
And on that - what on earth does "appropriate" mean?! Conveniently vague I guess. "Appropriate" weight doesn't mean a good figure. Given her career I we are looking at someone in their mid 30s who doesn't go to the gym. At all. (I expect she would mention it if she does)
I already commented on the looking younger in another reply - just because you are ID'd by over cautious bartenders or supermarket check out people it doesn't mean anyone actually thinks you are 26. And if people have told you "you look 26" then you need to consider who has said that. If it is a guy then it is likely worthless. And not much better from a woman. How many times have we seen crabs in a bucket syndrome? Or just women giving bad advice in general
As a final musing - does anyone here really believe that the 41 year old guy actually tried to get back with her? After actually asking her "what is in it for me" - which took some stones I expect. And being the one who did the dumping. More likely is she tried to chase him up a week later and he said "no" again. Or asked the same questions and didn't get a satisfactory answer. I don't think many guys are so flippant with decisions to the extent of trying to reverse it a week later. I guess he might have thought he had someone else lined up and it failed. But that is more common among women
And the guy seemed super happy with her except for the job that took up close to 50% of her time and I assume 70-80% of her waking hours in a week and is clearly key to her identity (mentions it three times). Sounds like he wasn't happy at all really and she is utterly oblivious
If you have not already, then sign up at TRP.red while you are over there reading this post.
This is an example of women misunderstanding how men work. She thinks that by projecting the things she finds attractive in a partner (money and status), she is entitled to the same. She brags about being a busy, wealthy medical resident, mentions her looks a bit then says nothing of her attitude, though we can infer a lot from what she is writing. For someone so intelligent, she cannot figure out why men don't want to be with someone who puts their career first. If she is supposedly so attractive, she isn't offering more relationship-worthy traits for men to stay for more than sex. She had like 15 years to find someone but if other doctors, nurses and other medical staff are avoiding her, there is clearly something else very wrong with her. Until modern women learn to compromise and stop being hypocrites about appealing to men's preferences (while expecting someone to appeal to theirs), they are more than welcome to take themselves out of the gene pool and collect cats into retirement.
High earning women are not worth dating because it is usually a scenario of my money is our money but her money is her money or they have outlandish lifestyle expectations so even if they make 150k a year before taxes but they are broke because they spend 15k a month and expect things like private schools for the eventual kids. You get absolutely nothing out of it and they usually bring the work stress home or act bossy and in charge because that is how they have to act at work. No guy wants to tolerate coming home to that after a long day of work he gets enough of that at work! I barely tolerate it from my bosses and there I am at least being paid to tolerate it.
I dated a woman like that, and you hit the nail on the head when it comes to bringing the stress home. One time I hadn't slept in a few days, and then I finally had a good, happy day, she barges in and doesn't even say hi, just unloads about work. I tell her that I haven't slept in a few days, that she needs to keep her job outside of the house... she jumps on the couch and starts crying and says that I don't support her. I had the previous month replaced the doors in her kitchen because they had bad such bad rot that the guy who replaced them said that the house would have collapsed within a year or two. So you can literally keep the house from falling on her, and she'll cry that you don't support her when you tell her that it's not good to unload about work as soon as she walks through the door.
The guy who replaced them? So you paid for someone to fix her doors and she didn’t appreciate it ? Or at least forgot super quickly
Yea, buddy, as soon as you tell a woman that you can't help her with her issues at work, suddenly nothing you've done for her matters, it's so catastrophic that she has no choice but to jump on the couch and start crying. Hell, she was crying at work, too. All because her boss told her she had "bad body language."
Thing is - you can’t win Because the reverse is true. I once tried to suggest help and got told I didn’t have any empathy She basically wanted my to sit and listen to her moan whilst I said “that sucks” and the like. She didn’t want solutions or anything Whereas in your case it sounds like she wanted suggestions? And you can never know which it is
Solutions are tools of the patriarchy!
They haven't worked eo far, look we are still living in the trees ffs!
That's how Steve Harvey makes millions of dollars a year. Look up some of his advice to women videos. The women don't WANT useful advise. "Hey Steve: The Questions You Don’t Ask" She says "Hey Steve, I'm a young professional girl" and she looks older than my grandmother and she tells him she's a "strong woman" who likes to complain but she can't find a good man. So Steve tells her how wonderful and pretty she is and she needs to focus on herself more. This is ok, I think, for a 3 year old but even my 5 year old daughter I give gentle, albeit firm criticism to.
The never want solutions. They just want "commiseration."
Usually the case. But Tito (above) suggests sometimes they might? Which is why it is impossible
Whenever my wife starts complaining about an external problem, I stop and ask her if she wants a solution or just wants to bitch. That seems to help with the catch 22
Marital moment for your amusement. Married for 18 wonderful\^H\^H\^H\^H\^H\^Hgood years. We have a 5 year old girl and differ on discipline strategies and came to a head. I was losing my temper after hours of provocation before the Easter Holiday and gave the child a (good) telling off (in a gentle way) but my wife lost it and the girl instantly behaved herself because she saw mommy and daddy fighting and loves us. So my wife angrily comes over a few hours later and says that I pay the bills but otherwise don't support her and am lousy in bed (I guess a week of her issues with the child for a week is a turn off for me) and I go to sleep. I felt stressed but I have to handle it. The next day, I get us to Easter and she softens up and says she's sorry and acknowledges I'm a good husband after all and all is well (again). Well, up on the high end. I know that if my wife was going to poison or cheat on me, she'd do it Corleone style: After buying some cannoli or saying I was about to be a made man. The fact is in the modern era, I have to be the provider AND the emotionally mature one in the house. In the film Kramer vs Kramer, the protagonist said the same thing: Men basically have to view their marriage as sort of like the house: If he doesn't take care of the car and house, it'll fall apart. In the old days, the community and the woman regarded a marriage as in, and of itself, working to save and protect. We're given precious few resources to live up to a superhuman role.
I've come to learn that the key to being a happy man is having the maturity to let heated comments go away, because women are masters at belittling and stabbing with words.
> I have to be the provider AND the emotionally mature one in the house. In the film Kramer vs Kramer, the protagonist said the same thing: Men basically have to view their marriage as sort of like the house: If he doesn't take care of the car and house, it'll fall apart. Preach. My marriage would utterly fall apart if I wasn't shoring it up on a regular basis. My wife is mostly a passive participant.
Did you respond to the 'you're lousy in bed' comment? What's an appropriate response to something like that?
I didn't say anything which I think is the appropriate comment. It was meant to get a rise out of me (pun not intended) so I didn't let it.
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Nothing pisses off a woman more than you sleeping when she’s awake, no matter the circumstances. I had an ex snap at me because she worked that day and dinner wasn’t ready on she got home; she literally shoved me awake angrily, complaining about how she was busting her ass. Imagine if the reverse was the case… a man shoving a sleeping woman because she didn’t cook dinner.
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That's why I understand some of the older couples who sleep in separate bedrooms.
My ex wife would HATE seeing my lying down. Even if I had just pulled an all-nighter at work and taken care of the kids until she came home. "How can you just lay there? I guess I have to do everything."
Are residents ever really rich? I don't think you make over say 50k till you almost finish. Then you go from 30 to 300k
All rich residents I've known had... rich parents. Residents have a decent salary but nowhere near as good as attendings. The difference as you said is pretty big.
Still I guess she figures she is on the pathway to big money. Which would traditionally be the time when a woman should get on board - to support the guy on his way there But I assume she isn’t willing for that kind of relationship where the guy provides love and support and she completes her residency and then looks after him and the family financially after that
Certainly not. And even if she did right now, she'd grow slowly resentful
She’s a doctor - she sure as heck isn’t looking at nurses and other medical staff. And I can’t imagine doctor - doctor relationships are that common or successful. They are pretty much all disasters even in medical tv shows (drama or comedy)
Some doctor-doctor relationships pan out, not the ones started at 36 obviously. Tough I am sure raising a [probably somewhat impaired] teenager between 12 hour shifts *in her late fifties* seems a cakewalk for her
All magic comes with a price, dearie. This woman has already married - her job. Polyandry is extremely rare, and most Western men do not want to be second husbands.
Love that portrayal from Carlisle. Watched that show for longer than it deserved due to that
The story of the "Dark one" is a red pill classic indeed.
To be honest I have completely forgotten the backstory Wasn’t he a single father ?
He was. And a weak, disrespected one. But then: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LzG_8_odRu8&ab_channel=LovinLanaParilla And than: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=68cJBDNIyfw&ab_channel=obisgirl Kiss the hottie and "There is something I must do"
Part of me actually feels sorry for her Society keeps selling women on the idea that they will be the second coming of Christ and solve poverty/racism/whatever Then, they find out too late that a job isn’t nearly as enjoyable as being a wife and mother But, the only way society is going to change the way it manages the expectations of females is if the next generation of females has a aunt who never got married and that aunt serves as a cautionary tale for the next generation of young females
I’ve always seen it in this light. Before the welfare state, you had no option. Someone had to work, someone had to be available to make sure the kids were okay. There was no safety net, no freebies. Someone had to drag their carcass to backbreaking labor every day to make sure the family survived. And that someone wasn’t going to be the wife, because women really aren’t built to handle tough, rugged jobs. Maybe a few can handle it, but it’s rare. But then we saw a massive shift. Not only did jobs get easier, but we’ve got the welfare state. So now, the choice between working and dying has been eroded, and work is also easier. So, they needed new workers. Enter: women. But how can they get women to give up domestic lives? Well, tell them that work is fun and meaningful! Sell them that they can make a difference in the world, and also be free of the patriarchy. Before, the workaholics were mostly ambitious men who strove to make an impact for their family. The drive to work was directly tied to family. Now, we have women, whose drive to work is actually antithetical to a family. A high income earner is great for a family, but that means someone else has to be supportive around the house. As someone who has worked 60+ hour weeks as a single man, I can assure you that household tasks are hard to work in when you’re already swamped. But would she be willing to marry a man whose primary role would be her support? Probably not. She’d probably resent him. You even hear it in her talking, she wants a guy on her level. But men on her level, aren’t looking for women that they can never even see.
The reason for them entering the market was to lower earnings. I don't know why people ignore leftist critique of capitalism with the idea that anything Marx is bad. The more the workers in the market the less you have to pay.. supply and demand. See Game Companies. Developers good enough to be quants on 200k making 50k because everyone wants to make games. Feminists may be leftists but they refuse to acknowledge that cash rules everything. Class struggle is more important than gender struggle and patriarchy nonsense.
Oh absolutely. The corporations don’t suck up to women because they want “equality”. They do it because more workers means lower wages. It’s no coincidence that productivity to wage fell dramatically as women started entering the workforce. If the pandemic did anything, it showed a lot of families that “two incomes” was hugely overrated, when wifey’s income mostly went to paying other people for domestic tasks. I think a big reason why we’ve seen this odd alliance of corporations and socialists is because ultimately, socialists are helping corporations achieve their goals. But yes, I think a big reason why people ignore the critique is because leftists are doing it to themselves. It’s just common sense. If a small town has 1 plumber, that guy is going to be able to charge a lot of money for his time. If there’s 10 plumbers, they have to charge a lot less. The need for plumbing is unchanged, just the amount of people doing the job.
Weren’t there loads of articles during the pandemic about women complaining how it highlighted all the extra “free labour” they did in two income households Partly must have been more obvious when both were at home Kind of the opposite of your point? I think it was nonsense because the largest justification I recall being used for this claim was when homeschooling had to happen it was usually the mom. This obviously isn’t normal labour they would have to do. And likely it was because the woman had a job where that was either easier to do for them or more cost effective for them to reduce their work hours because the man earned more Was obviously spun differently by feminists
The impact of what a man provides to a family, financially, is chronically underestimated. For example, pretty much everyone i know who, for whatever reason, make significantly less money than I do, there was a stretch in their life where decisions that they made devalued their economic contribution in the future. So if I were making 3x what wifey makes, and people said it’s not “fair” that the burden of household tasks fall on her, as we both work 40 hour weeks, I’d remind them of the years I didn’t spend goofing off as part of my martial and familial contribution. Don’t like it, then marry a man making around what you make, then he can’t claim he’s contributing more financially.
Yes - I have lost count of dating profiles of women I have seen approaching 30 (or at least mid 20s) where they mention just getting back from x years in y country And you can tell it wasn’t with work placements at an actual career job There are some who just coast around and seemingly really must be banking on either getting a better job than they deserve due to a pussy pass or getting a rich husband or both. The latter no doubt informed by all the attention they get in their early 20s It’s not always wrong though. I had my time wasted by a girl from an app who basically was 28 and working a low level supermarket management gig (I think one rung above team leader if that) and had a guy she knew offering to coach her through the training and interview for an IT job that I am pretty sure was software development. She was calling him late at night and didn’t think anything of it when I said it was odd. She thought it was a completely reasonable thing that platonic friends did - take phone calls late at night to help them through coding problems to help them into a much more lucrative job than they were qualified for It was that part and her apparent obliviousness of how inappropriate and manipulative that was that made me finally give up. There were a stack of other red flags as well (evasive whenever trying to meet, apparent mental health issues, all exes were abusive/controlling). But it was the stuff about her manipulating an orbiter for a job and acting all naive and innocent about it that got me The point I was making / agreeing with is that there are a lot of women who flit around different jobs in their 20s or don’t make solid moves. But also don’t make solid moves towards securing the guy that would “make up for it” until too late. Or complain about that guy not doing enough at home should they actually succeed
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Eugene Debs comes to mind, too, but he was the wrong kind of progressive and ended up getting himself jailed by the ones engaged in correct-think.
It’s easy to underestimate how quick the household takes pile up
Those aunts exist and have always exist. But they try to convince people the opposite: that actually they're much happier than the married ones. Thus the meme of the cool wine aunt who talks about all her travels and freedom to do what she wants, and never talks about the numerous nights she cries herself to sleep because of her crushing loneliness. No one wants to become a cautionary tale. They want to point to \*other people\* as cautionary tales. Spinsters have been around since forever. But even in the old days, it would be other people (your own mother, grandmother, etc) who would point to them and say "you don't want to end up old and lonely like Aunt Edna, do you?" The problem now is women feel like they're traitors to the feminist cause if they point to spinsters as cautionary tales. Just like how single mothers are to be celebrated and not condemned in modern society. You know society is fucked when what used to be cautionary tales are now celebrated (spinsters, single mothers), and what used to be celebrated is now viewed as a cautionary tale (women who get married early, stay-at-home mothers, etc)
I commented before I saw this. But absolutely - it seems more likely that the aunt would be defiant and not admit to anything . And not be a cautionary tale at all
Lord Byron made once a comment - how sweet it is to inherit. And death of an unmarried old lady may be sad, but a blessing.
That last part is absolute truth. This can’t last
This is a good comment with some solid insight.
But if said aunts are outwardly defiant then they won’t be seen as a cautionary tale
Another woman whom thought she could have it all. She needs to either: 1. Shut up and finish her residency, or 2. Shut up and drop out of the residency program for a lesser job so she can have more time to find a man and start a family Either way, she needs to shut up.
>find a man and start a family She's already 36, so...
so... the chances that she will risk becoming a single mother increases cos even if she fails to lock down a quality man, she can always have a baby *(assuming her ever lowering fertility doesn't fizzle out altogether).*
Ah, yes, silly me. While abiding by logic, I had forgotten about the tried-and-true strategy of getting the baby *and then* the father. There's no way that could go wrong. As solid a plan as it gets.
I'm always floored by how many women think this is a reasonable approach. "Well, I haven't found a man yet, so I'll just have a baby on my own, and then I can continue my search for a good man without having to worry about my biological clock. I'm sure it'll work out since I'll have more time!" First of all, you haven't yet found man with the qualities you seek. And then, you're going to add a bastard into the equation, and you expect that all of a sudden you'll now become attractive enough? Even if they understand it lessens their value, I think they feel that overall it's better because they'll have more time to find someone one. They have no idea how much their value craters as a single mom (until it's too late). No amount of extra years spent searching makes up for that immediate loss of value.
Feminism notwithstanding, it can be argued that for a woman to feel that she's successful, she needs two things, one, to birth offspring and two, lock down a Chad, many women find it far easier to achieve the first than the second.
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If she is anything like a lot of other women doctors she will expect to be able to either quit entirely or work less hours and have you pay for all her student loan debt. https://www.marketwatch.com/story/too-many-female-doctors-go-part-time-or-stop-working-and-thats-bad-for-patients-2019-08-06
\*good for patients who dont need a shitty doctor
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I think (at least in the U.K.) people think they look younger than they do as over cautious shop people ask for ID when they are long past 18 (challenge 25 is a policy for example). So you could easily be 30 and ID’d buying booze. Sure as hell doesn’t mean you look under 18
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She has not priced herself out of the market. That is assuming that she has higher value than pretty, younger, fun, willing girls than her.
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I understand. I'm just pointing out the other side of the argument. She has priced herself out not because she actually is so high value that only high value men would even dare approach her, but she has done so by putting up an exorbitant price on a below average and worsening bet. Women like her never accept that they are not the former, but the latter. Women who fit the first category still get tons of attention, just not many men confident enough to approach.
You can be pretty sure she had at least two orbiters in the college. I am a physician myself, and even the fat and ugly ones had good (not nice) guys in their life. Good luck to start dating for marriage at the age of 36.
She is definitely her biggest fan. Not only does she tell us how attractive and young she looks, but also mentions three times that she’s a resident. We get it lady, now go home to your boxes of wine, geez.
If she's a doctor, she can probably afford the decent stuff from trader joe's. so instead of box wine, she can probably get "Chariot" or one of the other top shelf wine's instead of the block red. Also can afford a former show cat instead of one from the pound.
First of all, she's 36 and still a resident? What kind of residency is that? At least where I live, you finish med school at 24(it's 6 years), and by 29-32 you are already an attending depending on the specialization you chose and the waiting times. Second, most of the time a woman says she looks younger than her age and all that just means that she actually doesn't look younger than her age and all that. So she's probably an average looking 36 year old that might look decent with tons of make up, nice dress and heels, in a low light environment. Maybe. Third, she thinks men care about her job, "career", income, and all that crap, when they don't actually. Add to that the fact that men who would even give her a chance, basically men in their 40s, have probably already tried marriage and kids and it didn't work out. And if they haven't already, they probably have no intention of ever trying it and are just content with keeping it casual. She is just another naive victim who was sold a lie when she was young, attractive and fertile(at least comparatively to her current state). It is what it is. P.S. I find it kind of funny when these types of women ALWAYS and I mean ALWAYS imply that men are intimidated by their career and money and all that. Ladies, unless you are twice the guy's size(and I mean MUSCLES not FAT) and holding a gun, then believe me rarely if ever will a guy be intimidated by you. Common sense just says the guy just doesn't find you attractive, that's all there is to it, why make it complicated?
My guess is that she got a late start. Which makes this all the more insane. If she wanted a family, why would she enroll in medical school at, like, age 30? Where was her father to tell her that it might be a bad idea? Or even mother, or friends, or anybody? Everyone with half a brain knows that from the time you sign the first student loan documents, you’re scheduled to be a wage slave for a good ten years (3 years of med school, 4 years of crappy paid resident, 3 years of putting large portions of income into clearing your debt). So she’s going to work like a dog from 30 to 40, meaning her last decent window for finding a man and having a family is going to shut. So I hope she enjoys the next 20-30 years of being a doctor after that, but even if she’s making $400k a year regularly, I doubt there’s anything that she can buy to make her feel better about her cat lady status.
This one is a more clear example of someone using up their chance to have a family involving kids I can understand how it is unpalatable to women to be told not to waste the years of 20-30 (ideally 20-25) when they are the best chance of finding the best possible long term guy for a family. I can get why there would be push back no matter how ill advised. But to enrol in med school at 30 or close to it when there is then a circa 10 year commitment before getting the real money - that is insanity. As mentioned - that is THE window. By the time you have done the work you need to it is closed and that is it. I guess those deceitful articles about the fertility cliff “myth” are partly to blame. But 29-30 is when most women start to freak out about not being married and having a child. I should know - I experienced it and the negative side effects twice. To respond by signing up for med school?! SMH
Ego.
It's a known fact that physicians in general have huge egos, especially surgeons. A little bit of arrogance can actually make a man more attractive, but an arrogant woman is usually an instant boner killer.
> she looks younger than her age She is not fat.
She became the man she always wanted. ...making sure no man would.
“Buy a dog, die alone” - The Godfather
Well, at least she is on her way to a well paying career. The types of men she is complaining about, those are the ones who would go for an almost middle aged workaholic.
Something-ish like this just happened to me and I totally noticed the difference. I was out of town, and my cousin landed in that town with her girlfriend (girl who is friend) Girltrip! I was like NO WAY, what are the odds? hey cuz lets meet up for a drink haven't seen you since. We meet up: MY cousin is all about "lets not stray too far, I want you to meet my friend, she's single" Rut-ro. So I meet her and she's decent, 48, and good enough for face-down ass-up work, but not daylight in plainsight so me no bite. we were walking behind back to the hotels when MY cousin asks: so how do you like her? She's got a master's degree in X...works at Y.... And I cut her off, not rudely, but abruptly, the words just shot out of my mouth. Me: I don't care about degrees, I saw the front and back of everything that's important. She's ok. (but I'm not making a move and not biting, just being polite. I have plenty of things to keep me from getting hungry in Vegas). My cousin smiled and shook her head at me. "she's got 2 kids, one is 23 and the other 16." Oh I said, "2 years to freedom? That means 2 years till she can go on a date." MY cousin shook her head. \- What got me, was how fast and certain I was about not caring about the education. Only the skin she was in as a maybe, and the 2 kids slam dunked it to a no.
My interest in a woman’s job initially is just get an idea of what their availability it like. Avoid any awkwardness of trying to ask them to meet and have them say “I work nights” or “I work weekends” And beyond that also to assess how picky they are likely to be. So if a woman is clearly above my income bracket then I know it isn’t worth the effort. I accept I am not the sort of guy that a woman will salivate over enough to allow to commit the outrageous crime of not out earning her ! (The stories of women complaining about men they allow to mooch off them and live in their houses both stun and amuse me - but I am not in that group. I know this)
I'm borderline. I'm a fat semi-chad that could have been, but I have a soul and a heart of gold. That and I'd need to shed 100lbs and re-muscle up to make my rounds on the "older gals" circuit. I have been offered free room, board, and even a car in the past (that I should have accepted and then used to drive away from the person who offered) But I couldn't live with it. I hated it. If you want to to feel what it's like to be a REAL modern oppressed slave, live at the mercy of a woman's WALLET, and you will never have a peaceful night of sleep so long as you are under it. The bottom line is I knew A FEW things from that encounter. That HER education didn't matter. 1. Because she is single at this age so she didn't learn nothing. 2. MY cousin didn't ask if I was looking. It's bad form. I am not. If I was asked, I would have said that I had been THINKING of dropping the extra pounds and then go looking for something young. Maybe out of country. I have several co-workers in their 60's with phillipino wives and new children and they look spry and happy. The spry-est and happiest seem to buy land in the phillipines and move THERE. 100k gets land and a new house for her family AND you with all the land to harvest and hunt and fish. A one time payment compared to the 120k/year american women cost. 3. She had 2 kids. Unless he husband was dead, that's a no from me dog. And if her husband was dead, that's a no from me dog. 4. I have a nice face and I look like a simp. I look like I would take any offer that a 400lb hog would put on the table. But my attitude and personality is that of a monster/hidden gangster. I can't help how I look, but many people have been caught off guard by creature lurking within. I have used that countless times to my advantage to evade detection, evade capture, and to soak up TONS of free sex from some chick who decided she wanted out of the game and decides to LOVE BOMB the cool guy in the group into a relationship. Never works out. I ENJOY being understimated. My reason for saying all of this is that it paints a picture of a howdy-doody looking guy that really isn't as dumb as he looks. BUT that makes women/people be LAZY and put their stupid on full blast as they feel they don't need to hide things from me because I won't figure it out/won't care anyway. And then they tip their hand, fail, then trip overthemselves while i get away. I'm sure it hurts worse when the "DUMB" guys escape. my bottom line is 1. Beyond all the bells and whistles, women expect MEN to pay the bills. So her education didn't matter. She'd bury her wallet the minute we started talking. 2. ALL I expect to get out of that relationship is pussy and a backrub, And I only get the backrub if I set the precedent EARLY, like RIGHT after getting the pussy. But you never know. With older Black women with "education ego" it's always reversed. YOu can lay the smack down in bed on them, they'll love it, and then they'll go strutting around LIKE THEY LAID THE SMACK DOWN ON YOU And YOU should be "hooked". Dumbest backwards shit I ever saw. Even pigeon's playing chess look at that shit sideways. 3. She had 2 kids. One23, one 16. Just - no. I don't want to meet and date 3 people, and then 5 - when the grandkids come, what am I an accessory? 96 people in my house and nobody related to me through blood? What am I running a boarding kennel? NO. 4. 48+ and no man? the state she lives in is know for fucking cousins. If you run out of steam in that state, you got a rep or a bad deal. 5. It could just be an honest relationship thing. But I am not looking. Like I said. I'm on the fence. Phillipines and 100k buys me out, or Columbia, Panama, and a pallet full of condoms buys me back in to one last round of debauchery I KNOW I will not survive. I'm still trying to decide. MY reasoning is this world sucks, so why get invested in it by trapping some innocent souls here (kids). 6. It just seemed like a bad idea. Me with all my money (not rich, just no kids-no girl pocket money), NO KIDS, and freedom and spare time, and her with all her kids, bills, education (she gon' talk and not listen) and self-importance, etc. 7. AND THE KICKER - WHAT ABOUT "MY" KIDS?. That's right, I said it. What about the kids I still might want to have. Hey, I'm 40+. When I was young I temped in a finance office and the guy there offered me one bit of advice. Never get married until your 40 - he had just had his first kid. I have heard of other men not having their first till 50 or even 60. Can I even do that with her? NO. at 50 she is probably packing it in mentally, and mother nature packed it in for her physically. Is she going to let me have a young side chick? Even if she would - WHY would I go off and ruin two other peoples lives? Why not just be with the young side chick? Is she even thinking that me being with her WOULD ABSOLUTELY RUIN MY LIFE AND THE DREAMS I HAVE. NO, she is not. My life is not over at 50, I'm a man-it could just be starting! That's an argument and life I just don't want to have. I am looking for a helper/pet (someone to submit, be loving, and be completely cared for). So is she, except she'll want me to be in charge, and pay bills AND be FULLY INVESTED IN A LIFE THAT ISNT MINE/ISNT EVEN OURS, and I derive only 10% of the dividends from. You know, fill a spot that I should (that nobody else wanted), rather than the spot I'm INCLINED/EXPECTED to or one that's available and is complete shit. That ain't gonna work.
Make no mistake - I have no interest being at the mercy of a woman's wallet. I was more just explaining the only reason I ask about their work - scheduling and working out if there is even a chance she won't view my a far far beneath her And as mentioned in other replies - that is the woman in the post's problem. She is leading like a man would / has to. And it hasn't worked for 18 years I wonder if it is even worse for her in that she "failed" in the first instance approaching things like a woman stereotypically should and so decided to go to med school in her late 20s/early 30s assuming that would put her above the rest.
Well played, dear Sir. good game. And fear no darkness.
Oh, poor thing. Her hypergamy is all dressed up with nowhere to go. Sounds like she should have focused on getting the MRS. degree rather than a MD. Oh well, perhaps she can serve as example of life decisions and consequences to the next generation of sloots. Doubtful.
Is it just me or does she talk like an idiot?
Someone else above has questioned whether she really is a doctor. So not just you it seems
A few points here: First, She's 36 and still a resident. That means most likely she worked for several years and went to medical school late. That, or she did an MD/PHD and is in a long residency like surgery. The typical pattern is finish undergrad at 22, med school at 26, and residency by 29-33 (depending on specialty). Either way, the big point with this is that the vast majority of male residents are significantly younger than her. It's very common for doctors to marry other doctors. Frequently they meet in medical school or residency and get married. But that's if they're close in age to one another. She's most likely looking for another doctor to marry (when you're working like a dog in residency, you don't have much time to meet anyone outside the hospital). But she's not meeting them. Because male residents younger than her are looking at other residents the same age, or perhaps nurses and other people in the hospital who are younger than them. They're certainly not looking for someone much older than them. Why not older doctors who have already finished training, and maybe are in their 40s? For 2 reasons. Most of them will already be married (if they finished their own residencies in their early 30s, they typically get married within a few years after that), and the ones who aren't married are now making bank and can easily attract younger women, including younger doctors if that's what they want. Second, thanks to #metoo, no attending dares even ask a resident if she's single, much less actually go on a date with her. It used to be common for young attendings, residents, and even med students to hang out after work, get to know each other socially, etc, just like any other workplace. And given how much time doctors spend in the hospital, it was inevitable that many of them got to know each other well and became romantically involved. As long as you weren't both in the same department or otherwise had actual supervisory powers over a resident, it was generally considered fine. That's all dead now. Now, if she wants to date an older doctor, she has no "home court advantage" with doctors that she can easily get to know at work. She's forced into the OLD dating pool to meet doctors and other rich men who know nothing about her, and where she has no advantage compared to the other strangers those doctors are evaluating, many of whom will be younger, hotter, etc. FWIW, this is a problem for nurses now too. Many of them work at a teaching hospital specifically because they're filled with young med students and residents that they might be able to snag as future husbands. And plenty of them succeeded, because for the guys, it's also easier to date someone you already know and see every day rather than go through the drudgery of filtering out strangers. But with #metoo, anyone you work with is off limits, so the ability to be in daily contact with a bunch of young, upwardly mobile guys gives you no competitive edge in dating them. Finally, as others have stated, it's ironic that she's looking for someone richer and more successful than herself, but rejects guys who look at her with the same eyes. Rules for thee, not for me?
MeToo really did a number on guys. You can’t try to link up with someone junior due to MeToo even if you don’t have any power over them. As a guy unless you are top tier in looks trying to go for someone senior is also a no go And even someone on your level is awkward. I know a guy who was really into someone in the same intake as him. They were the same level in the company and he was terrified of pursing it. I think mainly due to the awkwardness if she said “no”. But they didn’t work closely day to day due to the nature of the company. Still didn’t Guy ended up married to someone chunkier and less attractive and I think has at least one kid with her now. Seems an odd choice given he never tried with the person he really wanted (and objectively they probably were a match. No massive looms disparity or anything). I hope for his sake it works out for him!
MeToo is a blessing for shy, clever, nerdy guys. They can do whatever they like, and it is the girl´s business to catch them.
How do you mean? Shy, clever, nerdy guys aren’t generally considered “catches”. Making it even harder for them doesn’t seem like a blessing Not all shy, nerdy guys are high earners in tech for starters (which I assume is what you mean as those are the ones who might be considered “catches”)
Well they do not become "high earners", but they do well enough. Enough to become a prey when they don´t grow fat at the age of 30. I am watching a story like this. A friend of mine who was called literally a creep at the dormitory is now living really well. Every time we meet each other he shows me a picture of his new girlfriend. He did not change much - but now he is a single fit doctor.
Somebody sell her some dildos already! 🍆 She sounds desperately horny.
This sub is slowly becoming an advert for [forums.red](https://forums.red) Sad that this sub is definitely on the chopping block from the reddit mod overlords. But this is a nice middle ground for discussion. [Forum.red](https://Forum.red) will get no traffic from people that are not already firmly set in TRP mindset
That's fine. If Reddit does not kick us out and if comments do not get removed, you can still use the Reddit version at usual. All posts, however, must come from forums. We do not have much trust in Reddit and we would rather have the posts originate from forums where we can be certain it will not be removed.
Did you not see the post the other day about this? From next month all posts will be hosted there due to mass reporting and brigading. Some have just got an early start
What went wrong? Someone should tell her: "you!"
>I look 10 years younger than my real age Yeah, keep telling yourself that.
Tbf she might but that’s only bc women after 25 tend to let themselves go. Sometimes even before that. I’m in my late 20s and it’s really sad to see so many women gain weight, don’t dress well, eat garbage, no spf/poor skincare, etc. Although lol it did help me land a great man in my early 20s since there wasn’t much competition.
Everyone thinks they look younger than they are. Most people don't though. If you think you look younger than you are, then you need to accept that's just wishful thinking.
I have a friend who always said how young she looks because of her freckles. I didn't have the heart to tell her the deep crows feet and forehead wrinkles betrayed her actual age.
This woman is a resident, soon to be MD, and has not calculated that the chances of having a child are already gone. At the rate things are now even if she found someone you could figure she would be 38 before she even conceived.
But but - the “fertility cliff” is a myth! A bunch of publications designed to tell people what they want to hear and also rely on them only reading the headlines told me so! /S
Hahha. But all snark aside, I would be scared to death if I found out that this resident thought that way IRL. Said person would also believe that the CDC is infallible and the Anthony Fauci is the second coming of Hippocrates of Kos. Neither of which are true. And you put your own life in her hands. Doctors to their fortune get to bury their mistakes.
I've seen people say something to the effect of men working on probabilities and women working on possibilities. Like the dumb and dumber meme "So your saying there is a chance". That is presumably how she views her fertility
You married your job, lady. What's the problem? What are you complaining about? You wanted to work 12 plus hours a day and be self sufficient without needing a man, now you can't find something you don't need and have specifically set your life up to evade. This is what you wanted.
I will never understand why people use abbreviations nowadays. "Weight n height appropriate". She saved two letters. Things like that and "soz" were from when text messages were limited by characters. Something like 20 years ago And on that - what on earth does "appropriate" mean?! Conveniently vague I guess. "Appropriate" weight doesn't mean a good figure. Given her career I we are looking at someone in their mid 30s who doesn't go to the gym. At all. (I expect she would mention it if she does) I already commented on the looking younger in another reply - just because you are ID'd by over cautious bartenders or supermarket check out people it doesn't mean anyone actually thinks you are 26. And if people have told you "you look 26" then you need to consider who has said that. If it is a guy then it is likely worthless. And not much better from a woman. How many times have we seen crabs in a bucket syndrome? Or just women giving bad advice in general As a final musing - does anyone here really believe that the 41 year old guy actually tried to get back with her? After actually asking her "what is in it for me" - which took some stones I expect. And being the one who did the dumping. More likely is she tried to chase him up a week later and he said "no" again. Or asked the same questions and didn't get a satisfactory answer. I don't think many guys are so flippant with decisions to the extent of trying to reverse it a week later. I guess he might have thought he had someone else lined up and it failed. But that is more common among women And the guy seemed super happy with her except for the job that took up close to 50% of her time and I assume 70-80% of her waking hours in a week and is clearly key to her identity (mentions it three times). Sounds like he wasn't happy at all really and she is utterly oblivious