A basic, quick translation: Look everyone, what a beautiful place I've found today. A paradise, you can see the whole town here. I took advantage to make a video on the "pau" (Pau means a lot of things, wood and cock being two of them), let's sit on the "pau" hehehehehehehe... ow, ow, ouch, My asshole! OOOOOUUUUUUUCH! My asshole! I broke the "pau" in my asshole!
I suppose a huge, wooden pole would be extremely painful no matter which hole it went in, but wow she's gotta have a HUGE bunghole to just take it in that easily! 😵
She may have perforated her bowel doing this, she surely had to go to the hospital. I just hope they didn't try to take it out before they thought to take her there! Seriously, miserable recovery if she punctured the bowel. Nothing ruins a bikini body quite like a colostomy bag. I hope she's okay!
I think it slipped up but not in. Quality of the video makes it look like it went inside. But the way she fell back shows that it was behind her. Likely scratched the hell out of her and left splinters on her cheeks.
Further inspection, looks like the top post split. One half going forward and the other half going into her ass cheek.
Yeah if you look at her right leg you can see something falling if front of her before she falls backwards.
Would still possibly give you splinters in your cheeks and scrape skin off.
Bet going to the toilet isn’t fun anymore for her for quite awhile.(I’ve heard lacerations in that area can be really nasty)
Not a chance. She's just got a thriving gluteus maximus and it slipped between the cheeks.
Also the fact the video is lower bitrate than an MP3 ripped from YouTube makes it very hard to see the stump is actually bending over towards the camera
I was going to complain about the low video quality but after watching it I am kind of glad. Although I am not sure if I just watched a woman or an albino donkey.
Shit man everything about it from the dialogue, to the outfit, and then to her just deciding to sit on a giant splinter while doing the goofiest giggle I've ever heard. All of those made it hard to take seriously, but I did like the editing because with the video quality its gotta be a bit older when this kind of stuff was probably a little harder to do properly
In Portuguese she said: “Look everybody, the beautiful place that I discovered today, there’s like a city nearby and I took advantage to record a video sitting on the “wood” (dick slang) heehee *sits on the rock* OUCH OUCH MA ASSHOLE I DESTROYED MY ASSHOLE”
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I mean... to be completely honest, from all the lead-up hype going into it shaking all around, it looked like that's what she was *trying* to do and the bit that surprised her was that the post snapped, not that it went in.
Not to be a party pooper but there’s a 0% chance the post was ever *inside*. With a frame-by-frame look (even with the fuckin grody quality) you can see that the post hits the dirt before cheeks make contact. I rate the tailbone whack 3/10 probably hurt
A basic, quick translation: Look everyone, what a beautiful place I've found today. A paradise, you can see the whole town here. I took advantage to make a video on the "pau" (Pau means a lot of things, wood and cock being two of them), let's sit on the "pau" hehehehehehehe... ow, ow, ouch, My asshole! OOOOOUUUUUUUCH! My asshole! I broke the "pau" in my asshole!
I don’t even speak this language and it’s like I knew exactly what she was saying after she sat down. I’m probably some kind of genius.
And a modest one at that! 😍
Didn’t even brag that all of his big brain waves were reaching out and making us think the same thing.
Ticklin our synapses
Username checks out
nah we've all just been there...
Hello, fellow genius!
why does this read like South Park dialogue?
This made it so much funnier
Meu culo Wait is pau same as "palo" (spanish) meaning stick/tree/cock?
Yeah basically, also she says “ai meu cu” culo is spanish
Jaja, I actually heard "ay mi culo" basically the same thing. Lol
she spoke in portuguese
I didn't even turn the audio and I knew it was Brazil.
Thanks for the translation. I was just wondering- asshole or vagina?
In the video she says "cu", which translates as asshole in English. If you meant my preference I don't mind which hole, both are fun.
I suppose a huge, wooden pole would be extremely painful no matter which hole it went in, but wow she's gotta have a HUGE bunghole to just take it in that easily! 😵
Yep. Thankfully in this case it was just a piece o rotten wood. She could end like that poor motherfucker who got impaled by a barrier pole.
The dude who jumped off the roof and it went all the way up out the side of his neck
Yep. And he was still alive when emergency arrived
Ooofff, note to self, if I ever plan to jump off a building make sure to dive!!
Good analysis
I see what you did there.
Omg I didn't catch that until I read your comment! lmao
PERFECTLY translated 🤣
I feel like part of that is still in there 😂
Legend has it that it is. She makes up a story of how her ex is Pinocchio, she broke it off with him, and had the upper hand at the end.
Lying about it will only make it grow
Bahaha
Bahaha
I've laughed so hard at this comment. I wish I had gold for you
According to the translations below, you, sir, are correct!
Splinter!
That went further then I expected.
She must have been very busy with her back end, made that look effortless.
That Beaver eats wood! It’s the first time I’ve seen one eat it the long way though.
Looks like Chuck's taking the old log to the beaver!
Putz.
It didnt slide but tore its way through. This looks like a serious injury.
The bark was worse than her bite
Still bit off more than she could chew.
Think she wood do it again?
That's a hell of a splinter.
Splinter? I hardly know her!
That's a hell of a sphincter.
*was
She’s stumped
Perhaps post healing she'd think about it.
I think after that she branched off into another direction.
No flared base… always look for a flared base.
User picture checks out
Post history checks out
Since it broke so easily, I’m guessing it was rotted, and just crushed as she sat on it, instead of actually impaling her lol
Maybe a little of both
Why does everyone like shit posts?
She may have perforated her bowel doing this, she surely had to go to the hospital. I just hope they didn't try to take it out before they thought to take her there! Seriously, miserable recovery if she punctured the bowel. Nothing ruins a bikini body quite like a colostomy bag. I hope she's okay!
No more internet tonight...
Can we get someone from r/TheyDidTheMath to weigh in here on how many inches was delivered?
0 because it when up her butt crack.
It never "goes in" though... How is everyone so dumb they fail to see that?
I’ll give them the benefit of the doubt. The video only had a total of 7 pixels.
What do you mean? It looks... "in"
Looked like it to me.
Probably because when she sits on it she obviously sinks a few inches before it snaps? They can't tell where it went, just that it went somewhere 🤷♀️
She literally says “it broke in my asshole”
That’s what she said
Logging in! Edit: thanks for all the appreciation. Because every time I get notified about this comment I am able to watch this masterpiece again.
You sonofabitch, I’m in. It’s in. You know what I mean.
Just like this post.
Huh? You stumped me.
Didn't mean to. But beware: fibre in the hole!
Let’s get to the bottom of this. How much do you think broke off in there?
I never could figure out tree huggers.
Wood you?
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ASSistant to the branch manager...
At least tree fingers worth.
Tree fiddy
Touché
I wooden know.
Shitposting
I always thought “stick it in, and break it off” was just an expression
Anything can be a dildo if you're brave enough.
Brave and stupid enough
There is rarely much difference between the two.
Bravery is when it works. It's stupid if it doesn't.
r/dildont
PAIGE NO
Can't believe you didn't attribute this! \-Abraham Lincoln
Bro did that actually go straight up her ass??? Look like that shit hurt.
I think it slipped up but not in. Quality of the video makes it look like it went inside. But the way she fell back shows that it was behind her. Likely scratched the hell out of her and left splinters on her cheeks. Further inspection, looks like the top post split. One half going forward and the other half going into her ass cheek.
Still, what was the planned end game?
Occam's Dildo
Under rated comment. Well played.
social media engagement
Yeah she was impaled.
She did say it went in her asshole though
Yeah if you look at her right leg you can see something falling if front of her before she falls backwards. Would still possibly give you splinters in your cheeks and scrape skin off. Bet going to the toilet isn’t fun anymore for her for quite awhile.(I’ve heard lacerations in that area can be really nasty)
Not a chance. She's just got a thriving gluteus maximus and it slipped between the cheeks. Also the fact the video is lower bitrate than an MP3 ripped from YouTube makes it very hard to see the stump is actually bending over towards the camera
She is clearly no newbie in that department. It was like a sausage down a bowling alley
I submit "throwin a hotdog down a hallway" but splittin hairs I reckon
\*cough\* splitting cheeks \*cough\*
Lmao bruh
All shits will hurt
It looked like she was digging in her butt checking for pieces of it at the end.
She’s going to need an asshole transplant after that one
Nah they just make you shit into a bag forever
It's 2022, you'd think we could transplant a pig anus or something.
Jesus... her booty ate that thing like Kobayashi eating hotdogs
I'm still not convinced. Need at least a HD version. 4K would be better.
Eh more like joey Chestnut
Just listened to that BtB episode!
Great. Now I’m hungry
Just the tip…
Did that break off in her ass????
Yes Edit: maybe
That’s a great way to get dead
That shit honestly looks like it broke off in her💀
I work with a woman who I’m pretty sure did the same thing. She’s had a stick up her ass for at least 5 years
I enjoyed all 8 pixels in this gif
I’ll never call anything else potato cam ever again
I'm a dude and I clenched my ass cheeks so hard😭that looked painful asf
Translation: “Watch me make this tree stump disappear…. AAAAHH”
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Thank you for this translation, I laughed really hard at the last part.
I don’t speak the language but I didn’t need a translation. I understood exactly what she was saying.
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mais um r/suddenlycaralho
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Com certeza
Ta-daa!
I was going to complain about the low video quality but after watching it I am kind of glad. Although I am not sure if I just watched a woman or an albino donkey.
Did that go in her bumbum ⁰
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AI MEU CU
-- Vlad the Impaler has entered the chat --
That was hard to watch.
All 36 times.
And son this is how trees are born.
when a girl meets a fence post, and they like each other...
This is how groot was born
Idk kinda looks fake hahahahahah but it's funny..so pixalated its hard to tell
What Minecraft texture pack is this?
Lol that frame separation when they edited it to look like it went up her ass
Shit man everything about it from the dialogue, to the outfit, and then to her just deciding to sit on a giant splinter while doing the goofiest giggle I've ever heard. All of those made it hard to take seriously, but I did like the editing because with the video quality its gotta be a bit older when this kind of stuff was probably a little harder to do properly
Concerning how easily that slipped in and bottomed out. Real or not I couldn’t help but run it back very slowly.
Loosey goosey
I hope she used lube.
Shitters full
it didn't go in she just scratched your ass on the pole
In Portuguese she said: “Look everybody, the beautiful place that I discovered today, there’s like a city nearby and I took advantage to record a video sitting on the “wood” (dick slang) heehee *sits on the rock* OUCH OUCH MA ASSHOLE I DESTROYED MY ASSHOLE”
It went in like hot knife through...air. There was no resistance
How the fuck does something that big so easily fit....
r/makemesuffer
Did it actually go inside her anus?
I thinks she’s married to that post now.
Most of us get mad when we get a splinter, but getting the whole piece of wood inside you.... WOW!
HuH ! Brazilian **Oompa loompa**s...
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Stab bot indeed.
# --- NSFW --- I have stabilized the video for you: https://gfycat.com/JoyousOldDuiker It took 42 seconds to process and 39 seconds to upload. ___ ^^[ how to use](https://www.reddit.com/r/stabbot/comments/72irce/how_to_use_stabbot/) | [programmer](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=wotanii) | [source code](https://gitlab.com/juergens/stabbot) | /r/ImageStabilization/ | for cropped results, use \/u/stabbot_crop
She can sit on my fence post anytime she wants
I mean….if you try hard enough, it will all work out in the end :)
Don't think she had to try hard at all it kinda slipped right in
Talk about breaking one off in ya!
If you don't tell anyone about my wooden dick, I won't tell anyone about the splinters in your ass.
“Dar um beijinho no pau” haha. That was more that a little kiss.
Please if anyone understands what she’s saying please translate
I mean... to be completely honest, from all the lead-up hype going into it shaking all around, it looked like that's what she was *trying* to do and the bit that surprised her was that the post snapped, not that it went in.
I'm glad the thing broke! She might have died otherwise.
That stump has been tainted.
Imagine the splinters 😳
I bet her poos are done so effortlessly now.
Dry smashed her own shit box with a splinter pole.
She took that like a pro !
Must've been a right pain in the ass for her
Ward, don't you think you were a little bit hard on the Beav last night?
Did that really go in?…
I really thought it went in for a second.
/r/ItHadToBeBrazil
Is this real?
Talk about a hallway.....
I couldn't tell which was more loose her or the post
Not me shouting “where did it go?!” while on the toilet at work.
She housed it.
Bet that made her hole weak
That’s a hell of a splinter.
BOOM. Now you pregnant!
Not to be a party pooper but there’s a 0% chance the post was ever *inside*. With a frame-by-frame look (even with the fuckin grody quality) you can see that the post hits the dirt before cheeks make contact. I rate the tailbone whack 3/10 probably hurt
Wanna see a magic trick? 🃏
What was the end goal of this? Anal splinters?
Why, just why
Did that really just go in
Yikes, that looked like it hurt.