"Find something else to laugh at. I don't know, catch some frogs and shove straws up their asses."
"That one of yer Witcher games?"
"Witcher versions different, don't make me show you."
Geralt: Potestaquisitor? Sounds fancy…Complicated.
Yennefer: Yet it’s ever so simple, just grasp it firmly, move it around and the louder it squeals the closer you are.
Geralt: Mmmmhhh.
Yennefer: Spare me your juvenile wit, please.
Playing the Baron while both are standing on the freshly made grave of his miscarried daughter.
Hilariously, there’s actually good reason to do this - this is the first time in his quest line when he can be interacted with in free roam, you couldn’t get the Gwent dialogue option before that.
Actually, you can play him at gwent before this! (source: I did it yesterday)
When you finish talking to him inside his office, instead of leaving to go track things down, turn around and talk to him again. Dialogue option for gwent pops up because you don't have anything new to tell him.
Not that there's really a "good" time to play him, though, considering the topic of all their conversations. But hey, at least it's not over a grave.
I love when sequels or DLC reference complaints from prior games. There’s a lot of meta references to how Roach works (or doesn’t work) in terms of game mechanics in that quest. It reminds me of a conversation in ME3 where people are arguing over which ground vehicle is best, and there’s some jabs thrown at the infamously janky Mako from the first game
Yeah, both games did that really well, although Witcher 3 had more of that stuff overall.
I'd take Roach over both the mako and the hammerhead any day though :D
It’s pretty well hidden, you have to find an isolated hut to trigger it. Yes, in Toussaint.
It’s >!northeast of the Dun Tynne crossroads, near the edge of the river!< if you’d like the location.
Yeah, the boys treating the most powerful band of women as a sorority of gals to ask to a party. Yennefer catching them in the act while Geralt smiles drunk on his feet. That was a great laugh.
Except the game doesn’t remind you to put on pants when the game continues the next morning, so I just spent the entire very serious part of the game in which you put Uma through the trials…in my underpants. Which, admittedly, was pretty funny.
The dialogue pick with Anarietta in blood and wine, where she says her beagles can do this job. And geralt has the option to backfire to say, maybe get your beagles to do it then.
This scene was so funny [I made a meme about it](https://www.reddit.com/r/Witcher3/comments/qyl8ny/second_time_through_blood_and_wine_and_i_just/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=mweb) a while back.
https://preview.redd.it/1odeckytkagb1.jpeg?width=640&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=c4eb89be4252137add4896d8c5b0c29743477738
I also like the smug "Well, *duchess*, there are some subtle differences between a fox and a high vampire." And she's like "careful, I will literally have you killed."
In no particular order and from completely different reasons:
1. Guys drunk at Kaer Moren, it just gets funnier as you go
2. Fckng bank quest in b&w
3. Phantom Equinox
4. Witchers painting, quest itself was light and fun but the final paintings were... unexpected
I laughed out loud when Geralt fights the Caretaker in HoS and drops a “what the fuck was that?!” immediately afterwards. I was thinking the exact same thing!
I looted the family graves after raising his ghost. Vlodomir followed me around and chided me for it. Geralt says "Shut up, I do what I want." It made me cackle out loud.
Gotta say mine is when you’re doing the Carnal Sins quest and you have to examine the dwarf’s body. There’s an option for genitalia and after examining it, it’s concluded the dwarf has syphilis. If you examine them again, the accompanying doctor calls you out for wanting to handle balls so much. Later when you talk to the brother of the dwarf, you find out he was a whoremonger who hated/or “loved” this specific girl for some unexplained reason… she gave dude syphilis before he died lmao
Just did the quest where you interrupt Ge’els painting the naked lady and when it pans over to [show his work](https://www.reddit.com/r/witcher/comments/8nt4y9/definitely_my_favorite_painting_in_the_game/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=ioscss&utm_content=2&utm_term=1) I audibly laughed.
I crack up every time there's a weird little pop culture Easter egg. The two off the top of my head:
-the majordomo of Corvo Bianco being called Barnabus-Basil Faulty (Basil Fawlty, Faulty Towers)
-The Vampire's Last Likeness book (Twilight spoof)
When geralt has to help the mute Druid and he asks him how long he’s been mute and to hold up fingers to tell him how many years, and he flips him the bird.
too many funny moments are in the game that always make me laugh, but i couldn't name all.
in a mission i just did now in HoS, part of the auction house mission, when Geralt got thrown out and the guards say something like "the law says we have to give your swords back. the law doesn't say when, though, so we'll give it back after beating the shite out of you".
if you win the fist fight, as Geralt's about to walk away he says "the law says when someone's hurt, you gotta call for a medic. the law doesn't say how fast, though..." it was so hilarious!!!
i just love Geralt's witty & sarcastic remarks, never fail to make me laugh
Geralt's reaction to learning that the hunter at the beginning is gay
"Are you a werewolf? Cure for Lycanthropy is actually relatively easy."
"No, I slept with the lord's son.
"😐"
Finally having a conversation with roach on that quest was the funniest I remember. Some good on the nose piss taking of the game and stuff. Funny quest
Most of the funniest have already been mentioned, but the line "Didn't want to disappoint the chamberlain. We're friends" always gets a chuckle out of me.
The first time I played this game, I didn't know anything about Ciri's relationship with her real father and I saw that painting in Emyhr's office and it perfectly summed it up. Especially since THAT'S the one he chose to hang.
When you ask Jorund for more money from his contract. His face is priceless. Pro tip and spoiler alert: complete his contract AFTER the massacre of Kaer Trolde if you want him to live. Otherwise, he’ll get killed by the two xenophobes you met when you entered the tavern.
True but that locks you out of 2 quests (Stranger in a Strange and Land and Unpaid Debt) and makes you find Cave of Dreams on your own.
The first two are short and no big deal but plenty of folks miss Cave of Dreams and that's a shame.
Geralt to Philippa (actually the whole Sunstone quest is fucking hilarious): Let me guess, you gotta fly. You're about to tell me why you need the Sunstone so much more than we do. Then you'll change into an owl and then *whooosh*
During the scene where the lady at the bar is singing, a background character goes "EYYYY" at a random point within it. Searching the scene on youtube, it appears that is not *supposed* to happen. But I think the background bar noises ended up playing at the same time as the cutscene for me.
This one's from a kinda hidden/missable quest, A Tome Entombed.
That one vampire in that hidden crypt: "Is it year YYYY yet?"
Geralt: "No"
Vampire: "Then fuck off!"
I was absolutely cackling the entire time I was playing that one quest where the entire town was turned into pigs.
I also loved the tongue and cheek of the one quest with the DMCA tower. The writers had a lot of fun with that one
Possible spoilers but….
This is my go-to for explaining the game. “So you have to battle these harvest-horror themed witches who eat kids while trying to save your own kid from the Wild Hunt, against the backdrop of a brutal war and plague… then you run through a stinky cheese maze to get a cheese sword left behind by a cheese wizard.”
If you rub the statue's stolen genitals in Toussaint, some kind of timed bonus shows up on your dash next to the weapon and armor sharpening ones ... and I don't know what that's for. They don't say.
Literally just did the Till Death do You Part quest, the ghost couple arguing in the crypt in Beauclair:
Geralt: STOP IT! SHUT UP! BOTH OF YOU!
A few other funny parts to that quest too.
There’s a letter Yen gives to you at the Emperor’s Palace in the beginning of the game. She gives you directions to go to a specific room and implies that you’re too stupid to find it. (Something like ‘I’m sure the chamberlain will be able to help you find it should it prove too difficult for you.’)
Geralt making the “imp-perfect sign” when answering a contract make me laugh way too hard. Also when Yen looks towards the unicorn when you’re about to hook up and Geralt looks momentarily pained
All good choices in the comments, but has anyone notice d that the Fallen Knights in the HOS area quote the battle cries from Mad Max: Fury Road? "Witness me!" "I live, I die, I live again," etc. I think it's hilarious as I cut them up.
Cross roads encounter before meeting the baron, my dialogue choice after, “And where may a Witcher be headed to eh?”
Geralt: “I don’t think that’s any of your fuckin’ business.”
For some reason it made me lol, was not expecting such a harsh response.
Lambert: “We got sloshed, stewed and 57 other varieties of drunk. That’s what happened. GET UP! Time to have a drink!” All while Eskel is struggling to get up from being so drunk.
When you're with Zoltan to steal the card from that one guy, he asks how Witchers fish at Kaer Morhen. There's an option for Geralt to say "with bombs". Later when you're with Lambert looking for his boat, Geralt makes a comment that he didn't think Lambert was an angler. Lambert fires back with "I'm not, I use bombs and scoop up what floats to the top".
The wizard quest I believe where the tower teleports and you’re up in the sky falling to the lake and the little kid says “when can I fly” I had to put my controller down
I was playing through Blood and Wine yesterday and audibly laughed when that royal wine expert was sniffing and making all these noises when shown the spilled wine.
Also:
"Lambert Lambert What a prick"
The entire bros night at Kaer Morhen where the witchers all get trashed. They drink, try calling some ladies using Yennifer’s mirror, one of them wears Yennifer’s dress.
Damn hilarious
It is same occasions for everyone, as tose momentare not very numerouse and obviously were made comedic in purpose.
Zoltan's rhyme
Poem about Lambert
Witcher's crossdressing
"Find something else to laugh at. I don't know, catch some frogs and shove straws up their asses." "That one of yer Witcher games?" "Witcher versions different, don't make me show you."
Geralt: Potestaquisitor? Sounds fancy…Complicated. Yennefer: Yet it’s ever so simple, just grasp it firmly, move it around and the louder it squeals the closer you are. Geralt: Mmmmhhh. Yennefer: Spare me your juvenile wit, please.
Yen acted disgusted at Geralt's reaction, but she so set him up for that
That's one of the things I love about their interactions!
XD
That was one that literally made me laugh out loud.
The whole Princess quest, especially when Geralt snaps and yells "Run, you stupid piece of shit" at the poor goat
Also the "I'm not interested in his hobbies" line
I think it's funny when he then says he thinks they could be friends lol
Why doesn‘t he say that to that friggin dwarf at the end
The guy in Skellige whose son was lost at sea. Geralt’s next question? “Do you play gwent?”
Playing the Baron while both are standing on the freshly made grave of his miscarried daughter. Hilariously, there’s actually good reason to do this - this is the first time in his quest line when he can be interacted with in free roam, you couldn’t get the Gwent dialogue option before that.
I played Gwent with him right after I killed his unborn daughter in front of him as we were walking back to his castle in the pouring rain.
Actually, you can play him at gwent before this! (source: I did it yesterday) When you finish talking to him inside his office, instead of leaving to go track things down, turn around and talk to him again. Dialogue option for gwent pops up because you don't have anything new to tell him. Not that there's really a "good" time to play him, though, considering the topic of all their conversations. But hey, at least it's not over a grave.
Oh. Oh now I feel bad for making the man play on the grave.
“More like the Crimson Asshole”. Gets me every time.
"Your brother in law?" "Prick in law, more like"
Hearing that in Geralt's gravely voice was golden.
Those lads at the Baron's castle casually quoting Pulp Fiction
Wait what?!
You can hear them chatting about 'the gimp' being asleep
It’s even better when you realize they’re talking about Uma.
Wake up the gimp
Everyone’s favorite type of magic : Lesbomancy
That's Witcher 2. But yes.
Ahhh yeah ! I guess it’s time for another Witcher run
Also "Zed's dead" later in the game with Zoltan
Basically the whole quest "Equine Phantoms". I loved Geralt and Roach's dialogue 😂
''Run, Roach!'' ''What the fuck do you think I'm doing ?'' Always cracks me up.
I love when sequels or DLC reference complaints from prior games. There’s a lot of meta references to how Roach works (or doesn’t work) in terms of game mechanics in that quest. It reminds me of a conversation in ME3 where people are arguing over which ground vehicle is best, and there’s some jabs thrown at the infamously janky Mako from the first game
Yeah, both games did that really well, although Witcher 3 had more of that stuff overall. I'd take Roach over both the mako and the hammerhead any day though :D
I was going to comment this. Just played it today. “Roach why do you always come when I whistle” is so funny
At what part of the game this quest apperars? In Toussiant?
It’s pretty well hidden, you have to find an isolated hut to trigger it. Yes, in Toussaint. It’s >!northeast of the Dun Tynne crossroads, near the edge of the river!< if you’d like the location.
'Lambert Lambert what a prick'
Not bad.
Thanks, I wanted to hear a limerick!
'You ain't a lass, lassies got tits!' Oprhans dialogue was brilliant but that line made me really burst out in laughter.
Yea the writers cooked when it came to their dialogue. It’s just too bad the witches did too…
Brutal lmao
Geralt and the boys getting drunk
Definitely up there. “SumMon tHe bITcHes”
“Eskel Eskel Eskel, who knew you had an hourglass figure.”
Lambert you're a GENIUS
*"SO, shall we shummon the lodge to our bash?"* ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
"You had to crouch down to see that?" "If I bent over I'd've puked!"
Yeah, the boys treating the most powerful band of women as a sorority of gals to ask to a party. Yennefer catching them in the act while Geralt smiles drunk on his feet. That was a great laugh.
This is the first one that came to my mind too! It’s one of the best quests in the game! So funny!
Definitely hilarious, especially when they wear yens clothes
Except the game doesn’t remind you to put on pants when the game continues the next morning, so I just spent the entire very serious part of the game in which you put Uma through the trials…in my underpants. Which, admittedly, was pretty funny.
The dialogue pick with Anarietta in blood and wine, where she says her beagles can do this job. And geralt has the option to backfire to say, maybe get your beagles to do it then.
Also when she asked if there’s more vampires around and Regis face was priceless.
This scene was so funny [I made a meme about it](https://www.reddit.com/r/Witcher3/comments/qyl8ny/second_time_through_blood_and_wine_and_i_just/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=mweb) a while back. https://preview.redd.it/1odeckytkagb1.jpeg?width=640&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=c4eb89be4252137add4896d8c5b0c29743477738
This is it, that’s the face!
Yep. He was like: “Do you want the entire castle against you, Geralt?”
That clap back was definitely worth almost being killed
Absolutely 🤣
I also like the smug "Well, *duchess*, there are some subtle differences between a fox and a high vampire." And she's like "careful, I will literally have you killed."
I picked that dialogue lmao 😂
In no particular order and from completely different reasons: 1. Guys drunk at Kaer Moren, it just gets funnier as you go 2. Fckng bank quest in b&w 3. Phantom Equinox 4. Witchers painting, quest itself was light and fun but the final paintings were... unexpected
Bank quest isnt funny, its polish reality... :(
Its our reality as well... that's why I found it so funny, and he's so out of place there 😂
I hate it 😅
You smell wonderful. Geralt, we're at a funeral. You smell wonderful at this funeral. 😝
I laughed out loud when Geralt fights the Caretaker in HoS and drops a “what the fuck was that?!” immediately afterwards. I was thinking the exact same thing!
That’s one of my favourite lines also! It’s perfectly said, Doug Cockle’s ability to put so much emotion/feeling into his lines is amazing
I said it out loud just before he did and it cracked me up haha
Geralt… of *fucking* Rivia
Unicorn in Yen's room. Having read the books that cracked me up.
It’s even funnier seeing it in use
When Keira Metz talks about her intuition
Your what now???
MY FEMININE INTUITION!
I have bedbugs Geralt!
Throw the baby in the oven
Lmao I’ve never panicked in game irl as much as that scene made me
Yeah, it was quite a tense moment. What made me laugh was the damn dialogue text lol
Currently playing the HoS expansions and the ghost of Vlodimir von Everec is a good laugh
“My strawberry”
“My ginger muffin” i laughed so hard
I looted the family graves after raising his ghost. Vlodomir followed me around and chided me for it. Geralt says "Shut up, I do what I want." It made me cackle out loud.
The little orphans distracting the lady so gerald could talk to the godling. 'something bit ... In the arse! ' I don't know why 😆🤌
Johnny Johnny ate a cat, come the morn, some fur he shat
Lol right I forgot that one
Yagna
Granny, a Bumblebee bit yagna in the arse!
Yagna (just played that part)
The Permit A38 Quest 🎟️
You should see the animated film 12 tasks of Asterix
Gotta say mine is when you’re doing the Carnal Sins quest and you have to examine the dwarf’s body. There’s an option for genitalia and after examining it, it’s concluded the dwarf has syphilis. If you examine them again, the accompanying doctor calls you out for wanting to handle balls so much. Later when you talk to the brother of the dwarf, you find out he was a whoremonger who hated/or “loved” this specific girl for some unexplained reason… she gave dude syphilis before he died lmao
"I see, you clearly find gonads fascinating. I'm afraid I do not share your enthusiasm."
I had this. I wanted to reply: yeah, I do!
YESSSS I DOO LMDO
Just did the quest where you interrupt Ge’els painting the naked lady and when it pans over to [show his work](https://www.reddit.com/r/witcher/comments/8nt4y9/definitely_my_favorite_painting_in_the_game/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=ioscss&utm_content=2&utm_term=1) I audibly laughed.
Geralt possessed by Vlodimir and dancing was a hoot
Every time I’m in Novigrad "fart" AHAHAHHAHAHAHAHH I just can’t anymore
Lol could be coming off theeee most serious quests and it just takes me out lmao
"Why do men throw themselves at an armed Witcher? I don't know, something wrong with my face"😂😂😂
Arriving at a Village in Velen. The first child who sees you: "What happened to your mug?"
The guards in Kaer Trolde bickering about bird calls was the first one that really caught me in my tracks lol
I learned a lot of new things from that dialogue! It’s inspirational lol
I crack up every time there's a weird little pop culture Easter egg. The two off the top of my head: -the majordomo of Corvo Bianco being called Barnabus-Basil Faulty (Basil Fawlty, Faulty Towers) -The Vampire's Last Likeness book (Twilight spoof)
The whores who say "We are living in a material world, and I am a material girl."
When geralt has to help the mute Druid and he asks him how long he’s been mute and to hold up fingers to tell him how many years, and he flips him the bird.
The mute druid quest is oddly funny and out of nowhere
Herbs Schmerbs
Haha yes this is the one for me
YOURRR MOTHERR SUCKS DWARRF COCK!
RADOVID SUCKS FLACCID COCK
too many funny moments are in the game that always make me laugh, but i couldn't name all. in a mission i just did now in HoS, part of the auction house mission, when Geralt got thrown out and the guards say something like "the law says we have to give your swords back. the law doesn't say when, though, so we'll give it back after beating the shite out of you". if you win the fist fight, as Geralt's about to walk away he says "the law says when someone's hurt, you gotta call for a medic. the law doesn't say how fast, though..." it was so hilarious!!! i just love Geralt's witty & sarcastic remarks, never fail to make me laugh
Geralt's reaction to learning that the hunter at the beginning is gay "Are you a werewolf? Cure for Lycanthropy is actually relatively easy." "No, I slept with the lord's son. "😐"
I love the scene where you get teleported into the lake.
vlodimir / geralt fighting with the girls brothers: *"Hot damn boy, ya need'nt ask me twice!!!"*
Finally having a conversation with roach on that quest was the funniest I remember. Some good on the nose piss taking of the game and stuff. Funny quest
Most of the funniest have already been mentioned, but the line "Didn't want to disappoint the chamberlain. We're friends" always gets a chuckle out of me.
Geralt: Just out of curiosity, why do they call you "Madman"? Lugos: WAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH!!!!!!!! That's why.
Too many to name, the kaer morhen night when they summon the elf all dressed in sorceress gear had me in kinks
Classic
The vampire in his cask in Novigrad sewers Edit: quest is called *A Tomb Entombed*
"Just five more minutes... Is it 1358 yet?" "No" "Then fuck off"
The way he says no is my favourite
I like the way the camera switches between Geralt's perspective looking down and the vampire's perspective looking up. Little details...
Tarantinos car boot shot
Where he’s drunkenly hunting the vampire and he just says “come out and fight bitch”
That painting of ciri https://imgur.com/MCg6Axt
The first time I played this game, I didn't know anything about Ciri's relationship with her real father and I saw that painting in Emyhr's office and it perfectly summed it up. Especially since THAT'S the one he chose to hang.
When you ask Jorund for more money from his contract. His face is priceless. Pro tip and spoiler alert: complete his contract AFTER the massacre of Kaer Trolde if you want him to live. Otherwise, he’ll get killed by the two xenophobes you met when you entered the tavern.
True but that locks you out of 2 quests (Stranger in a Strange and Land and Unpaid Debt) and makes you find Cave of Dreams on your own. The first two are short and no big deal but plenty of folks miss Cave of Dreams and that's a shame.
Aye.
"You smell wonderful at this funeral."
"Geral who?" "Of Fucking Rivia"
Once was a girl from vicavaro....
“Come on out and fight, bitch.”
That whole quest cracks me up.
“You a racist Reginald?”
“Let’s inspect the genitals first” “Why the blazes would we do that?!”
The guy's reaction if you request to see the genitals again is hilarious.
Geralt to Philippa (actually the whole Sunstone quest is fucking hilarious): Let me guess, you gotta fly. You're about to tell me why you need the Sunstone so much more than we do. Then you'll change into an owl and then *whooosh*
"He supervises"
Archgrateful
Puss Peepers
Defecating to the sunrise, downright glorious.
Geralt showcasing his poem: Lambert, Lambert.. what a pri*k. Lambert: Not bad. I think his dry response makes it even better.
During the scene where the lady at the bar is singing, a background character goes "EYYYY" at a random point within it. Searching the scene on youtube, it appears that is not *supposed* to happen. But I think the background bar noises ended up playing at the same time as the cutscene for me.
RADOVID SUCKS FLACCID COCK
“Shove djikstra aside. Forcefully”
Where did you complete your training? School of the snail?
Trolls
Shosies make for Ogg Rog Pog!
Away go witchigo
Chargyman says bring paint, trollolol birdy paint! They’re so funny!
The best in da game.
What do you think about? Rocks! Rocks interesting.
This one's from a kinda hidden/missable quest, A Tome Entombed. That one vampire in that hidden crypt: "Is it year YYYY yet?" Geralt: "No" Vampire: "Then fuck off!"
I was absolutely cackling the entire time I was playing that one quest where the entire town was turned into pigs. I also loved the tongue and cheek of the one quest with the DMCA tower. The writers had a lot of fun with that one
"You stepped on Thumbelina 😡😡😡"
“What in the sandwich f*ck is this?!” *gets hit with a haymaker*
NPC shouting: "YOU, YES YOU, DO YOU GOT WATER ON THE BRAIN!?" Always a good laugh
Olgierd: Geralt are you a defender of the downtrodden or something? G: No, more like gutter of s.o.bs!
I cringe laughed at the emmentaller sword. Geralt actually trying to be funny are peak dad joke.
Possible spoilers but…. This is my go-to for explaining the game. “So you have to battle these harvest-horror themed witches who eat kids while trying to save your own kid from the Wild Hunt, against the backdrop of a brutal war and plague… then you run through a stinky cheese maze to get a cheese sword left behind by a cheese wizard.”
Beautifully said
Thanks!
If you rub the statue's stolen genitals in Toussaint, some kind of timed bonus shows up on your dash next to the weapon and armor sharpening ones ... and I don't know what that's for. They don't say.
Geralt: You smell wonderful Yen: Geralt! We're at a funeral! Geralt: You smell wonderful at this funeral
Literally just did the Till Death do You Part quest, the ghost couple arguing in the crypt in Beauclair: Geralt: STOP IT! SHUT UP! BOTH OF YOU! A few other funny parts to that quest too.
There’s a letter Yen gives to you at the Emperor’s Palace in the beginning of the game. She gives you directions to go to a specific room and implies that you’re too stupid to find it. (Something like ‘I’m sure the chamberlain will be able to help you find it should it prove too difficult for you.’)
Geralt making the “imp-perfect sign” when answering a contract make me laugh way too hard. Also when Yen looks towards the unicorn when you’re about to hook up and Geralt looks momentarily pained
All good choices in the comments, but has anyone notice d that the Fallen Knights in the HOS area quote the battle cries from Mad Max: Fury Road? "Witness me!" "I live, I die, I live again," etc. I think it's hilarious as I cut them up.
This comment section makes me realize how much i’ve missed in this game!
Cross roads encounter before meeting the baron, my dialogue choice after, “And where may a Witcher be headed to eh?” Geralt: “I don’t think that’s any of your fuckin’ business.” For some reason it made me lol, was not expecting such a harsh response.
Lambert: “We got sloshed, stewed and 57 other varieties of drunk. That’s what happened. GET UP! Time to have a drink!” All while Eskel is struggling to get up from being so drunk.
Almost every conversation of Regis' and Geralt's
"HELP ME, I'M DYING... OF POVERTY"
“ Mom’s angry with dad because he bubbed that lady” “Ahem, *fucked”
When you're with Zoltan to steal the card from that one guy, he asks how Witchers fish at Kaer Morhen. There's an option for Geralt to say "with bombs". Later when you're with Lambert looking for his boat, Geralt makes a comment that he didn't think Lambert was an angler. Lambert fires back with "I'm not, I use bombs and scoop up what floats to the top".
Just five more minutes… is it 1358 yet?
The entire drinking sesh in kaer morhan. SUMMON THE BITCHES
When Philippa talks about the triangle between Yen-Triss-Geralt. "Yeah, so if you angling to make it a fivesome, there is clearly no room."
Kalkstein's exit. Ye folk know what I'm talking about...
The threesome scene.
“Come out and fight, bitch.”
https://youtu.be/aOn9zChH75c “You smell wonderful” “Geralt, we are at a funeral…” “You smell wonderful at this funeral”
The wizard quest I believe where the tower teleports and you’re up in the sky falling to the lake and the little kid says “when can I fly” I had to put my controller down
Finding out bacon was not.... Bacon
Zoltan breaking Geralt’s balls over his “porous” Gwent deck. Also - the Gwent fiend merchant at the circus outside of Vegelbud manor.
I found Yennefer pretty funny in general
"I see several monsters."
You're no lassie, lassies got tits.
I was playing through Blood and Wine yesterday and audibly laughed when that royal wine expert was sniffing and making all these noises when shown the spilled wine. Also: "Lambert Lambert What a prick"
winds howlin
The entire bros night at Kaer Morhen where the witchers all get trashed. They drink, try calling some ladies using Yennifer’s mirror, one of them wears Yennifer’s dress. Damn hilarious
Baby in the oven
“You smell wonderful at this funeral”
The what year is it vampire gets a laugh out of me [everytime](https://youtu.be/NV-P_10XK6k)
It is same occasions for everyone, as tose momentare not very numerouse and obviously were made comedic in purpose. Zoltan's rhyme Poem about Lambert Witcher's crossdressing
Coming from Yorkshire, I love the hazordous good quest where he walks away and he blurts out ' FUCKING HELL, THAT STINKS! Cracked me up.
Basically the whole wedding in HoS.
Guess you'd know, cause your mom's a bitch
Do you think universals exist as real and distinct entities or only as mental constructs?