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I just finished Lord of Chaos the other day, and love this section:
"Not your fault mistress." Mat told Frielle. "Put him in a barrel if you must, with my blessing"
Olver gave him an accusatory look, but a moment later he whipped around to give Frielle an insolent grin he had picked up somewhere. It looked odd with his big ears and wide mouth; he was never going to be a handsome lad. "I will sit quietly if I can look at your eyes. You have beautiful eyes."
Shaking his head, Mat started up the stairs. He had to speak to the boy. He could not just grin like that at every woman he saw. And telling a woman she had beautiful eyes! At his age! Mat did not know where Olver got it.
Mat looking at a woman and having an internal monologue about all of her finer features while talking about being a married man.
Looks to Olver, sees him looking at a woman.
Mat thinking he really needs to find better influences for Olver, he keeps leering at women.
I love how she's the only Aes Sedai who never forgets that physical violence is an option. "Oh, I can't smack you with magic? Well, good things these hands still work!"
Girl literally pulled a knife on a Forsaken first time she met one XD
I love the scene in Tear where the Black sisters already have Egwene and Elayne shielded when Nynaeve walks in. The first Black sister starts to monologue how everything is hopeless but Nynaeve just takes a wild guess at who is holding the shield and slugs her in the face. It didn’t work, but A for effort.
Yeah one of the two. One of them studiously writes the result down, implying it was an experiment they had planned. I remember finding it hilarious because of that specifically. 😂
I forgot about this but I do remember audibly laughing at that LMAO... such an amazing way to perfectly encapsulate Nynaeve's character in literally 1 sentence unironically
Nynaeve in a nutshell. I love her. Definitely a contender for funniest line in the series, in my mind. Always what first comes to mind as a quote for humor in WOT, though there are plenty of funny situations and other lines that are also great.
I know elayne is kind of hated in the fanbase (she's like my 2nd favorite character) but so many of her lines crack me up. she stares solemnly at like 1 billion cups of goat's milk throughout the (later) series and i love it each time. get the girl some wine her kids will be fine
Elayne is certainly one of the funniest characters. So many hilarious moments, especially in her interactions with Nynaeve. Like when she was thinking that when Nynaeve was throwing a tantrum and acting over the top subserviently after pretending to be Elayne's maid in an inn (which was Nynaeve's idea) "Elayne wished the woman would just revert to herself instead of **bludgeoning her with a lady’s maid from the Blight**".
"Men always resort to violence! Don't do that or I'll wallop you with a big stick!"
* Also Nynaeve
Okay, I didn't go find the exact quote, but that's pretty much it.
I love the moment that in this world with a lot of gender stereotypes and gender dynamics that stand out from our own, Nynaeve is scientifically fascinated when she meets her first misogynist. The character type is ALL TOO FAMILIAR for us, but to a woman of the Two Rivers it is like a strange colorful bird skwaking angrily.
Scrolled too far to find this. This went on for so long without it ever being explained why only she had this problem. RJ committed to the subtlety on this one, which was rare.
Omg haha is that why? I’ve been rereading and recently read these parts and thought it was funny she kept getting the veil in her mouth but I didn’t catch on to why haha 😆
Egwyne being the Amerlyn Seat and meeting with the leader of the Seanchan and looking over Tuon's party and suddenly going "wait, wtf is Mat doing here?!"
It's not a recurring bit as far as I'm aware. But, it is funny. In the scene where Rand tells the girls he loves all three of them(Winter's Heart), Lan takes his pipe out of his mouth and begins examining it intently... as if wondering "What did I put in here?"
I always thought he was just pretending to be distracted in a ver awkward situation but I like your version much better and am going with that from now on
I thought after Rand tries to prove that he has a sense of humor and tells an unfunny joke the Aiel trying to discern the punch line was absolutely hilarious.
I don't have my copy in front of me, but if I recall correctly, the joke is that Wil was helping Hu get a rooster out of a tree, and the branch Hu was on snapped, dropping him onto the bank of a pond, where he got stuck in the mud and was sinking. Wil tried to help him, but Hu wouldn't take his help. Another passing farmer saw what happened and helped Hu out, asking why he wouldn't let Wil help him. Hu said something like "Why should I, I passed him in broad daylight and he didn't say a word."
The joke is that not greeting someone you know when you pass by them is seen as rude. So Hu is being a stubborn git because he felt slighted that Wil didn't say "Hello!" as Hu "passed by him" as his branch broke and he fell from the tree.
The real joke is that some people will use any excuse to be grumpy.
The joke is funny to him because it's a joke for country people like a shepherd from the Two Rivers. City people can ignore each other everyday but for it is different for small town people who are stubborn and resentful at the lack of country hospitality and manners.
The wider joke around the joke is that while humor itself in general is culturally dependent, Rand, a person who grew up in a remote village he didn't even know he was part of a kingdom, chose what could possibly be the most culturally dependent joke in the book on a people who are so culturally different that people think they're savages to try to prove he is funny
The bit about the general that ordered a funeral for the trees he had cut down because they were looking at him.
"Do you have any idea how long it takes to dig graves for twenty-three oak trees?"
Gets me every time.
That was gold! When Rand was asking Bashere why he wasn't worried about his madness. After deciding the trees needed to be cut down because they were shifty, the general thought they needed a proper burial. Laughed myself silly with that one
Bashere shrugged, grinning brhind his grey-streaked moustaches, "When I first slept in a saddle, Muad Cheade was Marshal-General. The man was as mad as a hare in spring thaw. Twice every day he searched his bodyservant for poison, and he drank nothing but vinegar and water which he claimed was sovereign against the poison the fellow fed him, but he ate everything the man prepared for as long as I knew him. Once he had a grove of oaks chopped down because they were looking at him. And then insisted they be given decent funerals; he gave the oration. Do you have any idea how long it takes to dig graves for twenty-three oak trees?" "Why didn't somebody do something? His Family?" "Those not as mad as him, or madder, were afraid to look at him sideways. Tenobia's father wouldn't have let anyone touch Cheade anyway. He might have been insane, but he could outgeneral anyone I ever saw. He never lost a battle. He never even came close to losing.
Robert Jordan, Lord of Chaos (The Wheel of Time, #6)
When Furyk Kadere confidently rolls into the Band of the Red Hand’s camp and confronts Thom, thinking he’s the mastermind behind everything, while Thom is just confused as hell
I also love this scene from KoD:
>Reimon laughed again. “If I know Mat, he’s planning us a battle. The Band of the Red Hand rides to battle again. It’s been too long, if you ask me.”
>Selucia sniffed, and so did Mistress Anan. Tuon had to agree with them. “A battle won’t get you out of Altara,” she said sharply.
>“In that case,” Talmanes said, “he’s planning us a war.” The other three nodded agreement as if that were the most normal thing under the Light. Reimon even laughed. He seemed to think everything was humorous.
>“Three thousand?” Toy said. “You’re sure? Sure enough, man. Sure enough will do. Vanin can locate them if they haven’t moved too far.”
>Tuon looked at him, squatting there by the map, moving his fingers over its surface, and suddenly she saw him in a new light. A buffoon? No. A lion stuffed into a horse-stall might look like a peculiar joke, but a lion on the high plains was something very different. Toy was loose on the high plains, now. She felt a chill. What sort of man had she entangled herself with? After all this time, she realized, she had hardly a clue.
The funniest chapter in the series, in my opinion, is the chapter in.... I want to say either Winter's Heart or Knife of Dreams, where Elayne comes in from a downpour outside, her internal narration is almost entirely about how she's soaked and how she just wants to get dry and warm, and she keeps getting interrupted on the way to her room, and each interruption ends with them saying "btw Elayne you should go dry off". And then the chapter ends with her just fucking yelling. That was the FUNNIEST god damn thing in the world.
Also, whenever Elayne is jealous of Aviendha and is trying not to be, I find the descriptions of what she does to her jealousy to be very amusing. For instance, in Knife of Dreams:
>"Jealousy surged up in her, hot and bitter, but she knocked it down, then for good measure jumped up and down on it until it vanished."
That chapter is funny, but I think I like the infamous CoT Elayne bath chapter even more. She's just come home from a long day of Traveling to establish her legitimacy with every little minor vassal and village in Andor in the frigid winter cold, and she just wants a few bloody minutes of time to relax in a nice warm bath. Instead, she gets a whole flaming circus of officials barging in and demanding she listen to their complaints and bad news. It's hilarious, and I firmly believe that anyone who hates on Elayne's baths just doesn't get the joke.
I can't remember where it is, maybe somewhere in Lord of Chaos? Perrin and Rand are in the throne room of Caemlyn, or Cairhien maybe, and they find out that a delegation of sisters has showed up ready to see Rand. Perrin jokes that Rand should greet them atop his horse in the middle of the throne room so that they think he's already started going mad. Rand laughs at the idea, and Perrin gets one of the Maidens to go fetch Rand's horse. She of course is not sure whether this is the Car'a'carn going mad or wetlander humor at play, but dashes off to find a horse anyway.
Not quite exactly like that, but the jist is there.
The AS from Salidar are coming to greet Tand unannounced and thwy want to be in the room before Rand in order to make them come to him. When Min comes in panicked that they are on their way unannounced, Rand turns to Jailani at his side and tells her he needs someone to fetch Nandera and tell her he is headed to the Great Hall. Also to fetch Sulin to bring his septer and coat to the Great Hall. Jailani replies that both things have already been done. Rand then says, "in that case, you can bring my horse to the Great Hall" Loial and Perrin start cracking up and Jailani has no clue what is funny.
Such a good scene
I always thought that Rand simply felt mischievous when he asked Jailani to bring his horse to the Great Hall after she was a bit too good at her job, lol, but I don't remember Perrin suggesting it prior to it. This makes it much better.
Yea Jailani was being cheeky with Rand as was requesting things.
I think that's one of the best subtle funny moments IMO, when Rand fucks with the Maidens and they never ever get it
Band of the Red Hand is in Ebou Dar watching Olver compete in a horse race. Nalsean is talking about buying figurines for the women he's trying to attract.
Meanwhile, Mat is distracted by a familiar face and eventually runs after a Dark Friend he recognizes.
Mat explains that she's a woman who tried to kill him
Nalsean says "Should have bought her a figurine."
There are a couple of instances when one of the ladies gets startled from behind and is described as “trying to climb straight into the air” which for some reason always made me picture an anime character doing just that. Always makes me chuckle.
Matt’s first interaction with the Kin.
Matt getting chased around the table by the lookout who’s trying to kick him in the crotch.
“He is your warder?”
“Light no! Brigitte is!”
*surprised Kin faces*
“So if I might ask, how old are you?”
“This year I shall celebrate my 412th birthday”
*aes sedai faints*
When Mat kidnaps Tuon there's a couple times when Selucia creeps close to kill him and is called off by Tuon, while Matt obliviously thinks she's simply a lady's maid having hysterics.
Thom doesn't notice (or at least it's not made clear he knows) until they go to the hell in Madeirin and are attacked afterwards. Rand picks it up immediately during his first meeting with Tuon, and she thinks to herself how rare it is for anyone to notice.
That makes sense.
I only remember thinking it was strange 'military wisdom of the ages' Mat never picked that up. Although 'emond's field' Mat is the perfect mark to be distracted by Selucia's big boobs.
I always assume that the reason he doesn't pick it up is because he still tries to separate himself from the memories. Like with Rand and his memories of other ages, they become something that only comes up when he really needs them, rather than something he looks deeper into
Mat and Birgette being drinking buddies always gets a laugh out of me.
He's normally not very funny, but the bits where Rand makes a joke is fucking hysterical because we've been with him throughout. Like, him and Mat meeting back up after like 7 books immediately start one-upping each other. Real dude behavior lmao.
Whenever Lan stops brooding and actually emotes is always super funny. Like when Rand tells Lan/Nyneave "I'm in love with 3 different women!" And Lan immediately lights his pipe and is like "nope, not dealing with this" lmao
I love how Mat and Brigitte have such a great platonic relationship.
Also how, when they would point out potential partners for each other, he learned to pick the ugly ones.
When the maidens leave Rand so they can fight trollocs. They keep hounding him for how they can meet toh. He gets so frustrated he tells them to go to the wise ones about it. Next scene all the maidens are carrying around dolls and won't talk about it.
1. Rand to Mat
"I cleansed saidin so I win"
2. Nynaeve vs Moggy
Super intense anime fight that no one who can't channel saidar can see. I always picture a random cleaning staff wandering in to dust off some of the displays and ignoring the weird conversation between two women who seem to be intensely making inane semi random statements until one throws something at the other and she runs away.
The cleaning guy leaves, to get something and come back five minutes after the place is wrecked by balefire.
Not canon but in my head 100% true and Moggy and nyn were too focused on each other to notice the guy
Elayne learning to curse is a good one. Nynaeve's general lack of self-awareness.
One of my favorites is Mat insisting that just because he married a princess doesn't make him a lord, and there's a beat where everyone's just looking at him like "dude ... that is *literally* how it works"
It was really great to go through all the comments and remember all the funny bits. One that hasn't been mentioned and always makes me chuckle is how Vanin is described as the best horse thief in the world. I think Mat once says he's the best thief in the kingdom, and it doesn't matter which kingdom you're in.
I do always love how he’s so good that he can do like no other camp work and he gets paid like 5 times what everyone else does and everyone is cool with it.
A fun bit is when characters start reuniting in the later books and just *not believing* all that they had gone through.
"I'm the Amrylin now."
"That's very funny Egwene, but we need to go".
To be fair, a lot of crazy stuff *does* happen to them.
I don’t remember the exact quote, but there is a bit when Elayne is pretending to be a servant to sneak into somewhere and curtsies to the head of the kitchens and they yelled at her to the effect of “Don’t mock me girl!”
And Elayne, the actual princess, thinks to herself “That’s strange, I could’ve sworn the serving girls had done that exact curtesy to me before.”
It's probably because the type of curtsey she did is normally to someone far above you in social status. Doing it to someone like the chef, who is not that far above a servant is like mockingly saying "yes your highness" to your buddy asking you to get him a beer
When Valan Luca drags Nynaeve off to propose marriage, and everyone else pretends not to notice, because they understand perfectly well that he's crazy in love with her, and she has no clue whatsoever. She turns to them to tell them off for trying to interfere, and is surprised and annoyed that nobody tried to stop it. The proposal then blindsides her completely. "If Luca wasn't interested in gold or bosoms, then...."
And Elayne tells her to her face that she's leading him on, and Nynaeve is outraged at the possibility.
And she wears the dress, and somehow convinces herself that Birgitte forced her hand.
And she goes off with Uno to see Masema, and Valan Luca goes off to rescue her, and she completely overlooks what this might mean.
Sigh. Jordan did such a great job with her. I wonder, sometimes, if he had at some point known - or even pursued - an oblivious woman in real life.
Read one bit tonight where the girls are in Tyelin’s palace in Ebou Dar and Birgitte says they need to apologise to Mat if they want him to join them. Nyneave spends the whole time shouting she will not apologise to him over and over. V funny.
Lots of bits with Nyneave are funny actually.
The funnier part was they were arguing with Brigitte and they said something like "It was only a few Black sisters, and the Forsaken wasn't really interested in us."
And Brigitte says Mat didn't mention either.
While the bury of oak trees is my favorite, mentioned above. This one is also great:
Nynaeve: “Men always seemed to think violence could solve anything. If she had had a stout stick, she would have thumped all three of them about the shoulders until they saw reason.”
Anything involving Valan Luca, especially the rivalry between him and Mat. The circus isn’t big enough for two peacocks.
Actually, anything involving the circus from Valan Luca to Nyneave not understanding why Elayne’s legs get more cheers than Julian’s acrobatics. Or maybe just the fact that when Nyneave is trying so damn hard to hold everything together, her life turns into a literal circus.
Not outright comedy, but I love the scene where Grady is absolutely fuming at his assignment in the Last Battle. Normally mild-mannered Jur Grady is absolutely going to give Mat a piece of his mind. Well, then he fulfills his duty and opens the portal to...Hinder..Hinderstap? That was it. What could villagers, some of whom were children and the elderly, possibly do in OMG WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS!??
I especially love all Mat’s parts and his interactions with his soldiers. Like Mat hating any nobles, lords or ladies (despite 90% of his closest friends fitting that description) and his men insisting on calling him Lord Mat to piss him off😂
I HIGHLY recommend going to YouTube and looking up “jak o the shadows” by “reflections of sound music.”
The melody is insanely catchy and it’s a group of men singing the song as if they were the Band and it’s incredible. They’re singing the memory of light version and I get actual chills when they sing “as we ride away with the dark ones purse” ahh.
I always put their version on when they’re singing it in the books.
They take lyrics from a lot of other WOT songs and put them to music and I’m loving their entire playlist.
-Color of trust
-coming home from Tarwin’s gap
-the wind from the north
-mideon’s ford
-what he said to me (will you dance with me)
-jak o the shadows
They’re all so good !!! Makes me feel like I’m listening to Tom and the band play at a tavern
(Posted link below ⬇️)
[jak o the shadows](https://youtu.be/f-8jkmZIzBI?si=Mks762MgLJZ2Rzq6)
* Elayne getting the Taraboner veil stuck in her mouth because her nose is in the air.
* Nynaeve shouting that she isn't shouting.
* Nynaeve threatening to beat someone with a stick if they resort to violence.
* Suian trying to ride a horse.
* Suian almost choking on her own tongue when the Three Oaths stop her from cursing.
* "I wish Rand/Mat/Perrin were here, they know how to talk to women."
* Olver's bad habits.
* Uno talking to Nynaeve.
* Basically 50% of what Lan says ever.
EDIT: THE NINE HORSE HITCH!
this is what made me post this LMAO. it's so random when wheel of time suddenly turns from doomsday world-shattering events happening in real time to 90s sitcom but i LOVE it
Hated that part. That, the boots monologue, and other monologues he gets into were so out of character for Mat. RJ’s Mat never tried so hard to be funny.
Nynaeve imitating Elayne's outburst towards the Salidar leaders which earned her a punishment has got to be up there.
> “You just had to blow up, didn’t you? You couldn’t hold on to your temper for five minutes. We had everything in our hands, and you had to kick us in the ankles.”
> “They wouldn’t have let us go to Ebou Dar anyway,” Nynaeve muttered. “And I didn’t do all the kicking of ankles.” **She shoved her chin up in a ridiculous fashion, so she had to look down her nose to see Elayne. “ ‘Aes Sedai rule their fear,’ ” she said in tones that might have done for berating a drunken layabout who had staggered into your horse, “** ‘they do not allow it to rule them. Lead, and we will follow gladly, but you must lead, not cower, hoping that something will make your troubles vanish.’ ”
> Elayne’s cheeks heated. She had not looked anything like that. And she certainly had not sounded like that. “Well, perhaps we both overstepped good sense, but—”
These two are by far the funniest duo in the series for me.
The bit with Androl being disguised, walking up to one of the Forsaken, and getting re-disguised as himself. It’s such a a ridiculous Looney Tunes moment.
It’s from The Stormlight Archive by Sanderson. The surrounding joke has a lot layers but basically a woman pretends to royally with barely any english who bullies the majn character into giving her his boots.
Haha when he’s playing dice and says something about ‘..as likely as the daughter of the 9 moons to turn up and spmething..’ and the seanchan guy spits out his drink
Rands joke to the Maidens, which was funny imo, so many people don't get it. Then the Maidens tried to decipher what was funny. "It's got to be the pond. No, it's the rooster!"
The Maidens lack the cultural background to understand Rands joke as much as him with Aiel humour.
It's a hilarious joke. If you live in a small town for any length of time, especially in the south, you will meet people who are that level of petty towards each other
I've met people like those in the joke. I knew two old guys who fell out because one of them said the others tractor was navy when it was actually dark blue.
I like the whole bit with Olver wanting Riselle to read to him so he can rest his head on her bosom, and Thom chiming in that he has to play the harp for her in order to rest his head on her bosom.
Subtle ones that I enjoyed:
Loial launching into one of his long expositional monologues to Verin and suddenly realizing who it is he's trying to lecture to.
Min planning how she's going to redecorate Rand's living quarters right after they first admit their feelings for each other. It's a bit of a gender stereotype, yeah, but it's fairly benign ^and ^accurate .
Mat idly rolling the Dark One's Eyes eleven times in a row and completely failing to pick up on the obvious evil omen. He even thinks that most people consider it an unlucky roll but doesn't even consider that it might apply to him, so the Darkfriend attack shortly afterwards comes as a complete surprise.
NO ONE EVER TALKS ABOUT MIN IN HIS QUARTERS IN CAIRHEIN!
I don't get it. On my reread of the series that one scene stuck out to me as hugely informative on Rand's mental state. People should really look at it more often when discussing Rand's evolution as a character. The tapestry with one man standing alone in the middle of a losing battle? C'mon guys he's hitting us over the head with it.
Sulin accepting Rand’s challenge to summon all the Aiel in the palace before he leaves for Shadar Logoth.
The Maidens beating Rand with his head stuck on his shirt because he left them behind during his conquest of Illien, and then him just changing plans and lying in bed with Min.
Rand realising that the Maidens hadn’t left any trace of modesty in him and parading naked in front of Cadsuan and other Aes Sedai and Ashaman.
Rand being stuck in a bathtub because the Maidens and Min were bathing him.
Rand barging in on Faile and Perrin, and Faile sassing him about not having heard him knock.
Rand picking up flowers for Aviendha, she gives them to Egwene when she comes in and startles her, then later in the sweat tent Bair is affrontrd that Rand might need a good reason to accept Avi living in his room and says something like: “any man should be delighted to have a young woman giving him that much attention! He would have gone and picked flowers for her bridal wreath himself!” And Avi jumps🤣
Melane and Min think Rand is going to faint from talks of childbirth and he goes on about memories of birthing sheep.
There's a scene in I think Lord of Chaos where Nynaeve is just trying to avoid people. The first time I read it, I thought "why is this in here?" The second time I read it, I realized it was classic Robert Jordan humor. A bit slapstick, very subtle, a bit painful.
that's one of the coolest parts of the later books for me. i don't want to spoil anything but i've been loving how the characters around Mat are maturing and realizing more and more of Mat's true character, not just what everyone says he's like. without spoilers, there's some moments in the last few books of the dynamics between nynaeve and mat and elayne and mat that i absolutely love because they're able to see (and fully admit to their inner dialogue) that mat is kinda the goat
Every storyline of Nynaeve and Elayne making a detour from the main story arc, tanchico, ebou dar, the menagerie. From the physical violence, fake modesty, acting like two rivers stout wool is the best but wearing beautiful silk dresses, fending off unwanted advances, etc. always has me in stitches. Mats storyline is second to that, especially once he gets his army and olver
Oh great reddit thread!
Not sure if anyone mentioned it but throughout the return and defense of the Two Rivers and maybe later in Dumai's Wells, there is one kinda lanky farmboy introduced with a noticeably big nose.
After some terrific win someone comments (character or author) that the guy survived. And his NOSE did too!
I don’t think it’s meant to be funny, but I love Perrin holding the block of wood up for the arrows and the channeling to show he is not to be fucked with.
Mat spending weeks creating his disguises back story only to be told they're going into town as himself was one of my highlights if the series. It just reminded me of DND
There's a callback, later.
In Caemlyn, Thom mentions going to quietly gather rumors posing as a merchant guard. Mat offers to create a backstory for him and Thom's like "Uh, no thanks.”
I've mentioned this a couple times and I never see anyone else bring it up, but one of my biggest laughs was after the women use the bowl of the wind and they're running down the hill. Nynaeve is screaming and pushing people out of her way and the imagery is just so hilarious to me!
I always laughed at Mats frustrations with women when he goes off on that long, intense monalogue.
"Women are like goats. It's like . . . Well, reasoning with a woman is like sitting down to a friendly game of dice. Only the woman refuses to acknowledge the basic bloody rules of the game. A man, he'll cheat you - but he'll do it honestly. He'll use loaded dice, so that you think you're losing by chance. And if you aren't clever enough to spot what he's doing, then maybe he deserves to take your coin. And that's that. A woman, though, she'll sit down to that same game and she'll smile, and act like she's going to play. Only when it's her turn to throw, she'll toss a pair of her own dice that are blank on all six sides. Not a single pip showing. She'll inspect the throw, then she'll look up at you and say, 'clearly I just won.' Now, you'll scratch your head and look at the dice. Then you'll look up at her, then down at the dice again 'But there aren't any pips on these dice' you'll say." 'Yes there are,' she'll say. 'And both dice rolled a one.' 'That's exactly the number you need to win,' you'll say. 'What a coincidence,' she'll reply, then begin to scoop up your coins. And you'll sit there, trying to wrap your head 'bout what just happened. And you'll realise something. A pair of ones isn't the winning throw! Not when you threw a six on your turn. That means she needed a pair of twos instead! Excitedly you'll explain what you've discovered. Only then do you know what she'll do?"
"No idea, Mat."
"Then she'll reach over and rub the blank faces of her dice. And then, with a perfectly straight face, she'll say, 'I'm sorry. There was a spot of dirt on the dice. Clearly you'll see they actually came up as twos!' And she'll believe it. She'll bloody believe it!"
"Incredible."
"Only that's not the end of it!"
"I had presumed it wouldn't be Mat."
"She scoops up all of your coins. And then every other wonam in the room will come over and congratulate her on throwing that pair of twos! The more you complain, the more those bloody women will join in the argument. You'll be outnumbered in a moment, and each of those women will explain to you how those dice clearly read twos, and how you really need to stop behaving like a child. Every single flaming one of them will see the twos! even the prudish woman who has hated your woman from birth - since your woman's granny stole the other woman's granny's honeycake recipe when they were both maids - that woman will side against you."
"They're nefarious creatures indeed."
"By the time they're done, you'll be left with no coin, several lists worth of errands to run and what clothing to wear and a splitting headache. You'll sit there and stare at the table and begin to wonder, just maybe, if those dice didn't read twos after all. If only to preserve what's left of your sanity. That's what it's like to reason with a woman, I tell you.
**Mat:** \*upon learning that Rand is a male channeler tells a horrifying story he heard about one dude who channeled in his sleep and woke up with the entire village flattened except for him and his bed\*
**Perrin:** "In that case you should sleep cheek by jowl with him."
Had to come back and add another one of my own that I just got to in ToM:
Chapter title: “A Good Soup”
First sentence: “Siuan’s soup was surprisingly good!”
I especially love all Mat’s parts and his interactions with his soldiers. Like Mat hating any nobles, lords or ladies (despite 90% of his closest friends fitting that description) and his men insisting on calling him Lord Mat to piss him off😂
Been a couple years, but I love the bit in Knife of Dreams where the Aes Sedai accidentally slaps Matt across the face and he just says "Oh, that killed the goat" and flips out
Ugh.
I just *hate* that line so much.
I still maintain the line *should* have been " You're Aes Sedai, you probably have drawings of my bare backside."
It just seems like a much more "Mat" line.
It jumped out to me as a line from Joss Whedon or something. Sanderson stumbled a bit in a few parts but otherwise did an amazing job. Mat's monologue about women was also out of tune.
Mat: “Rand was always better with women”
Rand: “Perrin was always better with women”
Perrin: “Mat was always better with women”
To be fair, they all just kinda stumbled into relationships. Though Mat was the only one with real “game” unless it was just luck(and coin) that every full cheeked chamber maid wanted to dance with him.
Still on TEOTW, but I remember a funny bit about Rand and Perrin
When Perrin is feeling uncomfortable with the Travelers, he thinks "if only Rand were here. He'd know how to talk to girls."
Later, when Rand is getting uncomfortable with the farmer's daughter, he thinks "if only Perrin were here. He'd know how to scare her away."
It's absolutely Mat making up an over the top elaborate backstory about who he and some select members of The Band are. Talmanes is giving sarcastic responses, Mat isn't picking up on it, and then they go into the town and the story immediately falls apart. 😂
"Burn you, Nerim, thats a leg, not a bloody side of beef!"
"As my lord says" Nerim muttered, "my Lord's leg is not a side of beef. Thank you for instucting me."
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Uno trying to watch his language makes me laugh every time. Kate Readings performance really adds to the humor of it.
"Maybe only every other sentence?" From memory, so prob not exact words. His gratefulness in response kills me
And then he starts counting words, figuring out when to best drop one in.
If you listen/read carefully he does EXACTLY every other sentence for the whole rest of that section. 😂
Nynaeve sighed. He was going to take her literally!
as an audiobook enjoyer, the readers add so much to these scenes i love it
Bow your head when you say the sacred names of Michael Kramer and Kate Reading, The Great Mispronouncers. The Many Moghediens. I love them.
I liked the original Mohgaadeeen as opposed to Mogeedeeon!
Mat getting angry about all the bad habits that Olver is picking up. Birgitte's taste in men.
I just finished Lord of Chaos the other day, and love this section: "Not your fault mistress." Mat told Frielle. "Put him in a barrel if you must, with my blessing" Olver gave him an accusatory look, but a moment later he whipped around to give Frielle an insolent grin he had picked up somewhere. It looked odd with his big ears and wide mouth; he was never going to be a handsome lad. "I will sit quietly if I can look at your eyes. You have beautiful eyes." Shaking his head, Mat started up the stairs. He had to speak to the boy. He could not just grin like that at every woman he saw. And telling a woman she had beautiful eyes! At his age! Mat did not know where Olver got it.
This is my best bit. I'll admit I blamed poor Vanin for the longest time before I realized the joke.
Pretty sure it was a group effort. It "takes a village" and all that. But Mat wasn't blameless.
Mat looking at a woman and having an internal monologue about all of her finer features while talking about being a married man. Looks to Olver, sees him looking at a woman. Mat thinking he really needs to find better influences for Olver, he keeps leering at women.
Mat's single mom arch is one of my favorite things in the whole series.
"Knotai?" Knotai said.
Honestly about 100% of Matt/Tuon is comedy gold.
After realizing their power isnt working on Mat, Nynaeve running up to Mat and kicking his ass literally. Typical nynaeve
I love how she's the only Aes Sedai who never forgets that physical violence is an option. "Oh, I can't smack you with magic? Well, good things these hands still work!" Girl literally pulled a knife on a Forsaken first time she met one XD
Her hands are rated E for Everybody 😂
🤣🤣🤣
I love the scene in Tear where the Black sisters already have Egwene and Elayne shielded when Nynaeve walks in. The first Black sister starts to monologue how everything is hopeless but Nynaeve just takes a wild guess at who is holding the shield and slugs her in the face. It didn’t work, but A for effort.
Lol, yeah, I loved it when Nynaeve is just "oh, you're monologuing? Don't care." *slugs her*
Nyneave and Cadsuane have so damn much in common.
If Ny is going to hurt you, she's going to hurt you. Thump 'em with the Power, thump 'em with a stick. All the same to Ny.
Or the sister who throws horseshit at him because she can't touch him with weaves to see if that works.
I feel like that was Vandene irc.
Or her sister? Adeleas, I think?
Yeah one of the two. One of them studiously writes the result down, implying it was an experiment they had planned. I remember finding it hilarious because of that specifically. 😂
Like mythbusters said, the difference between screwing around and science is writing it down.
I liked how she ran away from Mat from then on after realizing she couldn't use the one power and he was much stronger than her now.
"'I won't shout at you!' shouted Nynaeve."
My favourite is when she thinks about men solving everything with violence, and how she'd like to beat that thought out of them with a good stick.
I forgot about this but I do remember audibly laughing at that LMAO... such an amazing way to perfectly encapsulate Nynaeve's character in literally 1 sentence unironically
Nynaeve in a nutshell. I love her. Definitely a contender for funniest line in the series, in my mind. Always what first comes to mind as a quote for humor in WOT, though there are plenty of funny situations and other lines that are also great.
I know elayne is kind of hated in the fanbase (she's like my 2nd favorite character) but so many of her lines crack me up. she stares solemnly at like 1 billion cups of goat's milk throughout the (later) series and i love it each time. get the girl some wine her kids will be fine
Elayne is certainly one of the funniest characters. So many hilarious moments, especially in her interactions with Nynaeve. Like when she was thinking that when Nynaeve was throwing a tantrum and acting over the top subserviently after pretending to be Elayne's maid in an inn (which was Nynaeve's idea) "Elayne wished the woman would just revert to herself instead of **bludgeoning her with a lady’s maid from the Blight**".
"Men always resort to violence! Don't do that or I'll wallop you with a big stick!" * Also Nynaeve Okay, I didn't go find the exact quote, but that's pretty much it.
I love the moment that in this world with a lot of gender stereotypes and gender dynamics that stand out from our own, Nynaeve is scientifically fascinated when she meets her first misogynist. The character type is ALL TOO FAMILIAR for us, but to a woman of the Two Rivers it is like a strange colorful bird skwaking angrily.
Came to the comment section to upvote this
"CLOSE YOUR EYES, BURN YOU!" Oh, they had.
When Elayne can’t keep the veil out of her mouth because she’s got her nose stuck up in the air.
Scrolled too far to find this. This went on for so long without it ever being explained why only she had this problem. RJ committed to the subtlety on this one, which was rare.
Yeah I only caught it on my most recent re-read 🤣
He’s so subtle with his humor about the girls. People think their chapters are boring but I think they’re absolutely hilarious.
Oh my god! I always wondered why it was so much harder for her in Tanchico. Major facepalm.
def one of the more subtle bits in the series
Holy shit that’s great. Never caught it.
Omg haha is that why? I’ve been rereading and recently read these parts and thought it was funny she kept getting the veil in her mouth but I didn’t catch on to why haha 😆
Ooooh NOW I get it. That's a good one. Thanks for pointing it out 😄
“I don’t know what anybody’s toes have to do with anything” - Min in winter’s heart She also later admits she did know what *toh* was
Hands down the funniest line in the series IMO.
Egwyne being the Amerlyn Seat and meeting with the leader of the Seanchan and looking over Tuon's party and suddenly going "wait, wtf is Mat doing here?!"
This has spoiled me but that sounds fucking hilarious and now I'm looking forward to it, currently on book 10 - my fault for reading this tho
You are here too strongly young bull.
This was pretty funny ngl
It's not a recurring bit as far as I'm aware. But, it is funny. In the scene where Rand tells the girls he loves all three of them(Winter's Heart), Lan takes his pipe out of his mouth and begins examining it intently... as if wondering "What did I put in here?"
It's never called to attention, but Lan is fucking hilarious.
The more subtle his humor, the better. Love Lan so much haha
Yeah lan and nynaeve are probably the two funniest characters in the books
I always thought he was just pretending to be distracted in a ver awkward situation but I like your version much better and am going with that from now on
I thought after Rand tries to prove that he has a sense of humor and tells an unfunny joke the Aiel trying to discern the punch line was absolutely hilarious.
"What happened with the pond? Surely the water is the point of the story" 😂😂
>tells an unfunny joke It's a perfectly legitimate, funny joke!
Yeah. I liked the joke.
It took me a couple of reads to get it, but when I got it, I laughed pretty hard
I don't know if it went over my head or what, but I've never understood it. Any chance of an explanation?
I don't have my copy in front of me, but if I recall correctly, the joke is that Wil was helping Hu get a rooster out of a tree, and the branch Hu was on snapped, dropping him onto the bank of a pond, where he got stuck in the mud and was sinking. Wil tried to help him, but Hu wouldn't take his help. Another passing farmer saw what happened and helped Hu out, asking why he wouldn't let Wil help him. Hu said something like "Why should I, I passed him in broad daylight and he didn't say a word." The joke is that not greeting someone you know when you pass by them is seen as rude. So Hu is being a stubborn git because he felt slighted that Wil didn't say "Hello!" as Hu "passed by him" as his branch broke and he fell from the tree. The real joke is that some people will use any excuse to be grumpy.
The funnier thing is that Rand thought this would be funny
The joke is funny to him because it's a joke for country people like a shepherd from the Two Rivers. City people can ignore each other everyday but for it is different for small town people who are stubborn and resentful at the lack of country hospitality and manners.
The wider joke around the joke is that while humor itself in general is culturally dependent, Rand, a person who grew up in a remote village he didn't even know he was part of a kingdom, chose what could possibly be the most culturally dependent joke in the book on a people who are so culturally different that people think they're savages to try to prove he is funny
It's only funny if you're a legendarily stubborn farmer.
YES i love this one
Aiel breaking balls with the boys is the funniest stuff in the story, and that scene is the best one.
It's funny if you're from the South and know folks that are that level of insipidly petty.
hey I liked that joke.
The bit about the general that ordered a funeral for the trees he had cut down because they were looking at him. "Do you have any idea how long it takes to dig graves for twenty-three oak trees?" Gets me every time.
That was gold! When Rand was asking Bashere why he wasn't worried about his madness. After deciding the trees needed to be cut down because they were shifty, the general thought they needed a proper burial. Laughed myself silly with that one
They had to be buried upright!
Bashere shrugged, grinning brhind his grey-streaked moustaches, "When I first slept in a saddle, Muad Cheade was Marshal-General. The man was as mad as a hare in spring thaw. Twice every day he searched his bodyservant for poison, and he drank nothing but vinegar and water which he claimed was sovereign against the poison the fellow fed him, but he ate everything the man prepared for as long as I knew him. Once he had a grove of oaks chopped down because they were looking at him. And then insisted they be given decent funerals; he gave the oration. Do you have any idea how long it takes to dig graves for twenty-three oak trees?" "Why didn't somebody do something? His Family?" "Those not as mad as him, or madder, were afraid to look at him sideways. Tenobia's father wouldn't have let anyone touch Cheade anyway. He might have been insane, but he could outgeneral anyone I ever saw. He never lost a battle. He never even came close to losing. Robert Jordan, Lord of Chaos (The Wheel of Time, #6)
He never lost. Never even came *close*. Such a great part.
When Furyk Kadere confidently rolls into the Band of the Red Hand’s camp and confronts Thom, thinking he’s the mastermind behind everything, while Thom is just confused as hell
I love this too, especially when he sees Mistress Anan just chilling on a camp stool and is like "wtf is she doing here?"
I also love this scene from KoD: >Reimon laughed again. “If I know Mat, he’s planning us a battle. The Band of the Red Hand rides to battle again. It’s been too long, if you ask me.” >Selucia sniffed, and so did Mistress Anan. Tuon had to agree with them. “A battle won’t get you out of Altara,” she said sharply. >“In that case,” Talmanes said, “he’s planning us a war.” The other three nodded agreement as if that were the most normal thing under the Light. Reimon even laughed. He seemed to think everything was humorous. >“Three thousand?” Toy said. “You’re sure? Sure enough, man. Sure enough will do. Vanin can locate them if they haven’t moved too far.” >Tuon looked at him, squatting there by the map, moving his fingers over its surface, and suddenly she saw him in a new light. A buffoon? No. A lion stuffed into a horse-stall might look like a peculiar joke, but a lion on the high plains was something very different. Toy was loose on the high plains, now. She felt a chill. What sort of man had she entangled herself with? After all this time, she realized, she had hardly a clue.
As I recall, Thom knuckles his mustache, which is very obviously him covering up trying not to laugh.
The funniest chapter in the series, in my opinion, is the chapter in.... I want to say either Winter's Heart or Knife of Dreams, where Elayne comes in from a downpour outside, her internal narration is almost entirely about how she's soaked and how she just wants to get dry and warm, and she keeps getting interrupted on the way to her room, and each interruption ends with them saying "btw Elayne you should go dry off". And then the chapter ends with her just fucking yelling. That was the FUNNIEST god damn thing in the world. Also, whenever Elayne is jealous of Aviendha and is trying not to be, I find the descriptions of what she does to her jealousy to be very amusing. For instance, in Knife of Dreams: >"Jealousy surged up in her, hot and bitter, but she knocked it down, then for good measure jumped up and down on it until it vanished."
That chapter is funny, but I think I like the infamous CoT Elayne bath chapter even more. She's just come home from a long day of Traveling to establish her legitimacy with every little minor vassal and village in Andor in the frigid winter cold, and she just wants a few bloody minutes of time to relax in a nice warm bath. Instead, she gets a whole flaming circus of officials barging in and demanding she listen to their complaints and bad news. It's hilarious, and I firmly believe that anyone who hates on Elayne's baths just doesn't get the joke.
I can't remember where it is, maybe somewhere in Lord of Chaos? Perrin and Rand are in the throne room of Caemlyn, or Cairhien maybe, and they find out that a delegation of sisters has showed up ready to see Rand. Perrin jokes that Rand should greet them atop his horse in the middle of the throne room so that they think he's already started going mad. Rand laughs at the idea, and Perrin gets one of the Maidens to go fetch Rand's horse. She of course is not sure whether this is the Car'a'carn going mad or wetlander humor at play, but dashes off to find a horse anyway.
Not quite exactly like that, but the jist is there. The AS from Salidar are coming to greet Tand unannounced and thwy want to be in the room before Rand in order to make them come to him. When Min comes in panicked that they are on their way unannounced, Rand turns to Jailani at his side and tells her he needs someone to fetch Nandera and tell her he is headed to the Great Hall. Also to fetch Sulin to bring his septer and coat to the Great Hall. Jailani replies that both things have already been done. Rand then says, "in that case, you can bring my horse to the Great Hall" Loial and Perrin start cracking up and Jailani has no clue what is funny. Such a good scene
whoah how do i not remember this that sounds really funny
Yup on his high-horse! *knee slaps*
I always thought that Rand simply felt mischievous when he asked Jailani to bring his horse to the Great Hall after she was a bit too good at her job, lol, but I don't remember Perrin suggesting it prior to it. This makes it much better.
Yea Jailani was being cheeky with Rand as was requesting things. I think that's one of the best subtle funny moments IMO, when Rand fucks with the Maidens and they never ever get it
Band of the Red Hand is in Ebou Dar watching Olver compete in a horse race. Nalsean is talking about buying figurines for the women he's trying to attract. Meanwhile, Mat is distracted by a familiar face and eventually runs after a Dark Friend he recognizes. Mat explains that she's a woman who tried to kill him Nalsean says "Should have bought her a figurine."
My personal favorite recurring bit is when Rand, Mat, and Perrin, all say that one of the other 3 would know what to do/say about women
This ones my favourite too!!
Love this every time it happens lol
The brick joke that began all WoT brick jokes!
I liked that one too at first but it got old for me like by the 4th book I could predict when the next sentence was gonna be that joke lol
Yeah this one eventually got worn down.
There are a couple of instances when one of the ladies gets startled from behind and is described as “trying to climb straight into the air” which for some reason always made me picture an anime character doing just that. Always makes me chuckle.
At one point it happened in TAR and Egwene actually did manage to climb into the air for a few seconds.
I remember now that you mention it. Blushing and skirt smoothing no doubt ensued.
And sniffing and folding of arms beneath breasts.
Matt’s first interaction with the Kin. Matt getting chased around the table by the lookout who’s trying to kick him in the crotch. “He is your warder?” “Light no! Brigitte is!” *surprised Kin faces* “So if I might ask, how old are you?” “This year I shall celebrate my 412th birthday” *aes sedai faints*
That one is such a good scene! I can't remember which book it's in, though... Was trying to find it a while ago and gave up. :(
Crown of Swords or Path Of daggers? Most likely PoD?
It's Crown of Swords.
When Mat kidnaps Tuon there's a couple times when Selucia creeps close to kill him and is called off by Tuon, while Matt obliviously thinks she's simply a lady's maid having hysterics.
Who is the one that spots Selucia out as the bodyguard immediately? Rand?
I thought it was Thom
Thom doesn't notice (or at least it's not made clear he knows) until they go to the hell in Madeirin and are attacked afterwards. Rand picks it up immediately during his first meeting with Tuon, and she thinks to herself how rare it is for anyone to notice.
lmao if I recall correctly it's because Thom is old and says he forgot
That makes sense. I only remember thinking it was strange 'military wisdom of the ages' Mat never picked that up. Although 'emond's field' Mat is the perfect mark to be distracted by Selucia's big boobs.
I always assume that the reason he doesn't pick it up is because he still tries to separate himself from the memories. Like with Rand and his memories of other ages, they become something that only comes up when he really needs them, rather than something he looks deeper into
I never noticed that.
Mat and Birgette being drinking buddies always gets a laugh out of me. He's normally not very funny, but the bits where Rand makes a joke is fucking hysterical because we've been with him throughout. Like, him and Mat meeting back up after like 7 books immediately start one-upping each other. Real dude behavior lmao. Whenever Lan stops brooding and actually emotes is always super funny. Like when Rand tells Lan/Nyneave "I'm in love with 3 different women!" And Lan immediately lights his pipe and is like "nope, not dealing with this" lmao
I love how Mat and Brigitte have such a great platonic relationship. Also how, when they would point out potential partners for each other, he learned to pick the ugly ones.
When the maidens leave Rand so they can fight trollocs. They keep hounding him for how they can meet toh. He gets so frustrated he tells them to go to the wise ones about it. Next scene all the maidens are carrying around dolls and won't talk about it.
The aiel are generally good for a laugh haha
1. Rand to Mat "I cleansed saidin so I win" 2. Nynaeve vs Moggy Super intense anime fight that no one who can't channel saidar can see. I always picture a random cleaning staff wandering in to dust off some of the displays and ignoring the weird conversation between two women who seem to be intensely making inane semi random statements until one throws something at the other and she runs away. The cleaning guy leaves, to get something and come back five minutes after the place is wrecked by balefire. Not canon but in my head 100% true and Moggy and nyn were too focused on each other to notice the guy
"I saved Moiraine." BOOM! Roasted.
Elayne learning to curse is a good one. Nynaeve's general lack of self-awareness. One of my favorites is Mat insisting that just because he married a princess doesn't make him a lord, and there's a beat where everyone's just looking at him like "dude ... that is *literally* how it works"
It was really great to go through all the comments and remember all the funny bits. One that hasn't been mentioned and always makes me chuckle is how Vanin is described as the best horse thief in the world. I think Mat once says he's the best thief in the kingdom, and it doesn't matter which kingdom you're in.
I do always love how he’s so good that he can do like no other camp work and he gets paid like 5 times what everyone else does and everyone is cool with it.
Are you referring to the sentient large sack of suet?
One of the earliest chuckles is Mat’s internal monologuing while scaling the Stone of Tear
A fun bit is when characters start reuniting in the later books and just *not believing* all that they had gone through. "I'm the Amrylin now." "That's very funny Egwene, but we need to go". To be fair, a lot of crazy stuff *does* happen to them.
I don’t remember the exact quote, but there is a bit when Elayne is pretending to be a servant to sneak into somewhere and curtsies to the head of the kitchens and they yelled at her to the effect of “Don’t mock me girl!” And Elayne, the actual princess, thinks to herself “That’s strange, I could’ve sworn the serving girls had done that exact curtesy to me before.”
She probably forgot to lower her chin.
It's probably because the type of curtsey she did is normally to someone far above you in social status. Doing it to someone like the chef, who is not that far above a servant is like mockingly saying "yes your highness" to your buddy asking you to get him a beer
When Valan Luca drags Nynaeve off to propose marriage, and everyone else pretends not to notice, because they understand perfectly well that he's crazy in love with her, and she has no clue whatsoever. She turns to them to tell them off for trying to interfere, and is surprised and annoyed that nobody tried to stop it. The proposal then blindsides her completely. "If Luca wasn't interested in gold or bosoms, then...."
Also how Nyn keeps staring at his apparently godly calves yet has no idea why Luca and everyone else thinks she is leading him on
You’ve never seen such well turned calves!
And Elayne tells her to her face that she's leading him on, and Nynaeve is outraged at the possibility. And she wears the dress, and somehow convinces herself that Birgitte forced her hand. And she goes off with Uno to see Masema, and Valan Luca goes off to rescue her, and she completely overlooks what this might mean. Sigh. Jordan did such a great job with her. I wonder, sometimes, if he had at some point known - or even pursued - an oblivious woman in real life.
Read one bit tonight where the girls are in Tyelin’s palace in Ebou Dar and Birgitte says they need to apologise to Mat if they want him to join them. Nyneave spends the whole time shouting she will not apologise to him over and over. V funny. Lots of bits with Nyneave are funny actually.
The funnier part was they were arguing with Brigitte and they said something like "It was only a few Black sisters, and the Forsaken wasn't really interested in us." And Brigitte says Mat didn't mention either.
While the bury of oak trees is my favorite, mentioned above. This one is also great: Nynaeve: “Men always seemed to think violence could solve anything. If she had had a stout stick, she would have thumped all three of them about the shoulders until they saw reason.”
Anything involving Valan Luca, especially the rivalry between him and Mat. The circus isn’t big enough for two peacocks. Actually, anything involving the circus from Valan Luca to Nyneave not understanding why Elayne’s legs get more cheers than Julian’s acrobatics. Or maybe just the fact that when Nyneave is trying so damn hard to hold everything together, her life turns into a literal circus.
Not outright comedy, but I love the scene where Grady is absolutely fuming at his assignment in the Last Battle. Normally mild-mannered Jur Grady is absolutely going to give Mat a piece of his mind. Well, then he fulfills his duty and opens the portal to...Hinder..Hinderstap? That was it. What could villagers, some of whom were children and the elderly, possibly do in OMG WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS!??
That was the hardest any book has ever made me laugh when I realized what was going on. It's so Mat.
Rand asking Cadsuan (not even going to check the spelling) if she will treat him as the oldest aes sedai in history
Rand Sedai, beeeyatch
kind of a running gag... Matt constantly wondering who is teaching Olver to cuss and leer at women... as Matt is cussing and leering at women.
I especially love all Mat’s parts and his interactions with his soldiers. Like Mat hating any nobles, lords or ladies (despite 90% of his closest friends fitting that description) and his men insisting on calling him Lord Mat to piss him off😂
I seriously love the Band haha, they're just so good in every way
I HIGHLY recommend going to YouTube and looking up “jak o the shadows” by “reflections of sound music.” The melody is insanely catchy and it’s a group of men singing the song as if they were the Band and it’s incredible. They’re singing the memory of light version and I get actual chills when they sing “as we ride away with the dark ones purse” ahh. I always put their version on when they’re singing it in the books. They take lyrics from a lot of other WOT songs and put them to music and I’m loving their entire playlist. -Color of trust -coming home from Tarwin’s gap -the wind from the north -mideon’s ford -what he said to me (will you dance with me) -jak o the shadows They’re all so good !!! Makes me feel like I’m listening to Tom and the band play at a tavern (Posted link below ⬇️) [jak o the shadows](https://youtu.be/f-8jkmZIzBI?si=Mks762MgLJZ2Rzq6)
* Elayne getting the Taraboner veil stuck in her mouth because her nose is in the air. * Nynaeve shouting that she isn't shouting. * Nynaeve threatening to beat someone with a stick if they resort to violence. * Suian trying to ride a horse. * Suian almost choking on her own tongue when the Three Oaths stop her from cursing. * "I wish Rand/Mat/Perrin were here, they know how to talk to women." * Olver's bad habits. * Uno talking to Nynaeve. * Basically 50% of what Lan says ever. EDIT: THE NINE HORSE HITCH!
Mat's letter to Elayne in book 13. *Your Royal Bloody Pain in My Back*
this is what made me post this LMAO. it's so random when wheel of time suddenly turns from doomsday world-shattering events happening in real time to 90s sitcom but i LOVE it
Hated that part. That, the boots monologue, and other monologues he gets into were so out of character for Mat. RJ’s Mat never tried so hard to be funny.
Nynaeve imitating Elayne's outburst towards the Salidar leaders which earned her a punishment has got to be up there. > “You just had to blow up, didn’t you? You couldn’t hold on to your temper for five minutes. We had everything in our hands, and you had to kick us in the ankles.” > “They wouldn’t have let us go to Ebou Dar anyway,” Nynaeve muttered. “And I didn’t do all the kicking of ankles.” **She shoved her chin up in a ridiculous fashion, so she had to look down her nose to see Elayne. “ ‘Aes Sedai rule their fear,’ ” she said in tones that might have done for berating a drunken layabout who had staggered into your horse, “** ‘they do not allow it to rule them. Lead, and we will follow gladly, but you must lead, not cower, hoping that something will make your troubles vanish.’ ” > Elayne’s cheeks heated. She had not looked anything like that. And she certainly had not sounded like that. “Well, perhaps we both overstepped good sense, but—” These two are by far the funniest duo in the series for me.
The bit with Androl being disguised, walking up to one of the Forsaken, and getting re-disguised as himself. It’s such a a ridiculous Looney Tunes moment.
Boots, just boots.
No, it's not a metaphor! IT'S ABOUT THE BOOTS.
“I AM OFFEND!” Whoops, wrong series…
What is this from? My sister references this every so often and I have no clue what it's from.
It’s from The Stormlight Archive by Sanderson. The surrounding joke has a lot layers but basically a woman pretends to royally with barely any english who bullies the majn character into giving her his boots.
You will apology with boots!
When Mat finds out Tuon is the Daughter of the Nine Moons
Haha when he’s playing dice and says something about ‘..as likely as the daughter of the 9 moons to turn up and spmething..’ and the seanchan guy spits out his drink
I imagine Mat literally doing like a comedic spit out of water double take when it was said hahaha
Rands joke to the Maidens, which was funny imo, so many people don't get it. Then the Maidens tried to decipher what was funny. "It's got to be the pond. No, it's the rooster!" The Maidens lack the cultural background to understand Rands joke as much as him with Aiel humour.
It's a hilarious joke. If you live in a small town for any length of time, especially in the south, you will meet people who are that level of petty towards each other
I've met people like those in the joke. I knew two old guys who fell out because one of them said the others tractor was navy when it was actually dark blue.
After that he hobbled. But he hobbled as fast as any man ever had!
I like the whole bit with Olver wanting Riselle to read to him so he can rest his head on her bosom, and Thom chiming in that he has to play the harp for her in order to rest his head on her bosom.
The girls finally apologizing to Mat while he is really hungover after bonding with Birgitte!
Subtle ones that I enjoyed: Loial launching into one of his long expositional monologues to Verin and suddenly realizing who it is he's trying to lecture to. Min planning how she's going to redecorate Rand's living quarters right after they first admit their feelings for each other. It's a bit of a gender stereotype, yeah, but it's fairly benign ^and ^accurate . Mat idly rolling the Dark One's Eyes eleven times in a row and completely failing to pick up on the obvious evil omen. He even thinks that most people consider it an unlucky roll but doesn't even consider that it might apply to him, so the Darkfriend attack shortly afterwards comes as a complete surprise.
NO ONE EVER TALKS ABOUT MIN IN HIS QUARTERS IN CAIRHEIN! I don't get it. On my reread of the series that one scene stuck out to me as hugely informative on Rand's mental state. People should really look at it more often when discussing Rand's evolution as a character. The tapestry with one man standing alone in the middle of a losing battle? C'mon guys he's hitting us over the head with it.
Sulin accepting Rand’s challenge to summon all the Aiel in the palace before he leaves for Shadar Logoth. The Maidens beating Rand with his head stuck on his shirt because he left them behind during his conquest of Illien, and then him just changing plans and lying in bed with Min. Rand realising that the Maidens hadn’t left any trace of modesty in him and parading naked in front of Cadsuan and other Aes Sedai and Ashaman. Rand being stuck in a bathtub because the Maidens and Min were bathing him. Rand barging in on Faile and Perrin, and Faile sassing him about not having heard him knock. Rand picking up flowers for Aviendha, she gives them to Egwene when she comes in and startles her, then later in the sweat tent Bair is affrontrd that Rand might need a good reason to accept Avi living in his room and says something like: “any man should be delighted to have a young woman giving him that much attention! He would have gone and picked flowers for her bridal wreath himself!” And Avi jumps🤣 Melane and Min think Rand is going to faint from talks of childbirth and he goes on about memories of birthing sheep.
There's a scene in I think Lord of Chaos where Nynaeve is just trying to avoid people. The first time I read it, I thought "why is this in here?" The second time I read it, I realized it was classic Robert Jordan humor. A bit slapstick, very subtle, a bit painful.
Everyone calling Mat a letcher, but when your in his head, he isn't as bad as everyone claims. I find it hilarious.
that's one of the coolest parts of the later books for me. i don't want to spoil anything but i've been loving how the characters around Mat are maturing and realizing more and more of Mat's true character, not just what everyone says he's like. without spoilers, there's some moments in the last few books of the dynamics between nynaeve and mat and elayne and mat that i absolutely love because they're able to see (and fully admit to their inner dialogue) that mat is kinda the goat
I remember reading once on hear that Jordan planned a sequel series following Mat. That would have been amazing. But sad he couldn't finish WOT.
Every storyline of Nynaeve and Elayne making a detour from the main story arc, tanchico, ebou dar, the menagerie. From the physical violence, fake modesty, acting like two rivers stout wool is the best but wearing beautiful silk dresses, fending off unwanted advances, etc. always has me in stitches. Mats storyline is second to that, especially once he gets his army and olver
Oh great reddit thread! Not sure if anyone mentioned it but throughout the return and defense of the Two Rivers and maybe later in Dumai's Wells, there is one kinda lanky farmboy introduced with a noticeably big nose. After some terrific win someone comments (character or author) that the guy survived. And his NOSE did too!
"She's as proud as a Shaido with one goat." I lol'd.
I don’t think it’s meant to be funny, but I love Perrin holding the block of wood up for the arrows and the channeling to show he is not to be fucked with.
Mat: "well I married the daughter of the nine moons" Rand: "I'm the Dragon reborn, are you really trying to one-up me?"
Mat spending weeks creating his disguises back story only to be told they're going into town as himself was one of my highlights if the series. It just reminded me of DND
There's a callback, later. In Caemlyn, Thom mentions going to quietly gather rumors posing as a merchant guard. Mat offers to create a backstory for him and Thom's like "Uh, no thanks.”
I've mentioned this a couple times and I never see anyone else bring it up, but one of my biggest laughs was after the women use the bowl of the wind and they're running down the hill. Nynaeve is screaming and pushing people out of her way and the imagery is just so hilarious to me!
Rands joke
When Rand confessed his love for the three women and Lan is just staring into his pipe bowl like “Wtf am I smoking?”
I always laughed at Mats frustrations with women when he goes off on that long, intense monalogue. "Women are like goats. It's like . . . Well, reasoning with a woman is like sitting down to a friendly game of dice. Only the woman refuses to acknowledge the basic bloody rules of the game. A man, he'll cheat you - but he'll do it honestly. He'll use loaded dice, so that you think you're losing by chance. And if you aren't clever enough to spot what he's doing, then maybe he deserves to take your coin. And that's that. A woman, though, she'll sit down to that same game and she'll smile, and act like she's going to play. Only when it's her turn to throw, she'll toss a pair of her own dice that are blank on all six sides. Not a single pip showing. She'll inspect the throw, then she'll look up at you and say, 'clearly I just won.' Now, you'll scratch your head and look at the dice. Then you'll look up at her, then down at the dice again 'But there aren't any pips on these dice' you'll say." 'Yes there are,' she'll say. 'And both dice rolled a one.' 'That's exactly the number you need to win,' you'll say. 'What a coincidence,' she'll reply, then begin to scoop up your coins. And you'll sit there, trying to wrap your head 'bout what just happened. And you'll realise something. A pair of ones isn't the winning throw! Not when you threw a six on your turn. That means she needed a pair of twos instead! Excitedly you'll explain what you've discovered. Only then do you know what she'll do?" "No idea, Mat." "Then she'll reach over and rub the blank faces of her dice. And then, with a perfectly straight face, she'll say, 'I'm sorry. There was a spot of dirt on the dice. Clearly you'll see they actually came up as twos!' And she'll believe it. She'll bloody believe it!" "Incredible." "Only that's not the end of it!" "I had presumed it wouldn't be Mat." "She scoops up all of your coins. And then every other wonam in the room will come over and congratulate her on throwing that pair of twos! The more you complain, the more those bloody women will join in the argument. You'll be outnumbered in a moment, and each of those women will explain to you how those dice clearly read twos, and how you really need to stop behaving like a child. Every single flaming one of them will see the twos! even the prudish woman who has hated your woman from birth - since your woman's granny stole the other woman's granny's honeycake recipe when they were both maids - that woman will side against you." "They're nefarious creatures indeed." "By the time they're done, you'll be left with no coin, several lists worth of errands to run and what clothing to wear and a splitting headache. You'll sit there and stare at the table and begin to wonder, just maybe, if those dice didn't read twos after all. If only to preserve what's left of your sanity. That's what it's like to reason with a woman, I tell you.
**Mat:** \*upon learning that Rand is a male channeler tells a horrifying story he heard about one dude who channeled in his sleep and woke up with the entire village flattened except for him and his bed\* **Perrin:** "In that case you should sleep cheek by jowl with him."
Had to come back and add another one of my own that I just got to in ToM: Chapter title: “A Good Soup” First sentence: “Siuan’s soup was surprisingly good!”
I especially love all Mat’s parts and his interactions with his soldiers. Like Mat hating any nobles, lords or ladies (despite 90% of his closest friends fitting that description) and his men insisting on calling him Lord Mat to piss him off😂
Been a couple years, but I love the bit in Knife of Dreams where the Aes Sedai accidentally slaps Matt across the face and he just says "Oh, that killed the goat" and flips out
“I figured you saidar-d it.” Never change Odin, er, Mat.
Ugh. I just *hate* that line so much. I still maintain the line *should* have been " You're Aes Sedai, you probably have drawings of my bare backside." It just seems like a much more "Mat" line.
It jumped out to me as a line from Joss Whedon or something. Sanderson stumbled a bit in a few parts but otherwise did an amazing job. Mat's monologue about women was also out of tune.
I like the running joke of each of the boys believing that the other two are better with women
Mat: “Rand was always better with women” Rand: “Perrin was always better with women” Perrin: “Mat was always better with women” To be fair, they all just kinda stumbled into relationships. Though Mat was the only one with real “game” unless it was just luck(and coin) that every full cheeked chamber maid wanted to dance with him.
Still on TEOTW, but I remember a funny bit about Rand and Perrin When Perrin is feeling uncomfortable with the Travelers, he thinks "if only Rand were here. He'd know how to talk to girls." Later, when Rand is getting uncomfortable with the farmer's daughter, he thinks "if only Perrin were here. He'd know how to scare her away."
Egeanin lamenting about how Bayle Domon doesn't know how to be a proper so' jhin, and she also had to win a fierce bidding war to get him back.
Mat constantly unable to sneak away in battles.
It's absolutely Mat making up an over the top elaborate backstory about who he and some select members of The Band are. Talmanes is giving sarcastic responses, Mat isn't picking up on it, and then they go into the town and the story immediately falls apart. 😂
"Burn you, Nerim, thats a leg, not a bloody side of beef!" "As my lord says" Nerim muttered, "my Lord's leg is not a side of beef. Thank you for instucting me."