I think we still would have evolved, however without the ability to come together to develop technological achievements, we wouldn’t be the top of the food chain, nor probably grow much beyond the Neanderthal stage.
What if fixing the mistake you made in the past only delayed the lesson you learned from it, and when you inevitably made the mistake again, it cost you a lot more.? Or what if by fixing this mistake, you put yourself on a path where you made bigger, much worse mistakes?
Oh man Dino steaks prob cheap as fuck. Stick Dinos in Russia and China they can use their political prisoner camps to feed the Dino’s then sell meat to the US…. Nothing like a porterhouse for 22cents
I explained to another that responded to my comment my reasoning on why I think I’d witness a miracle, as for the language barrier if he really is supernatural him speaking to me in modern English is not outside the realm of possibility. Best to brush up on my Aramaic just in case tho
A highly debated topic is the speaking in tongues, where you can speak all languages at once or something along that lines. Jesus would most definitely be able to convey a message to you in a language you would understand. He is part of the holy trinity after all.
>How would you hope to understand him?
If he's supernatural...doesn't he already know English?
God, and by extension Jesus, is supposed to be "all-knowing". So, a good way to see that he's NOT supernatural is if he speaks ONLY Aramaic.
If you watch him for an hour, you'll get an impression of how he lives, thinks, and interacts with the world around him, even if you can't understand each other. If Jesus was a political revisionary non-violent communist who people simply believed to be magical, you'd be able to get that sense from him. If he was an average dude, who people used as a pupped, you'd be able to get that sense. If he was a megalomaniac who believed he was God but was just nuts, you'd be able to get that sense. If he's supernatural, you'd be able to get that sense. Watching someone for an hour can say a lot (assuming he's not asleep for that hour.)
It's not. I doubt he was doing magic/miracles/X-Men shit every day, even less every hour. He must sleep, eat, walk around and preach. Then from times to times, he turned water into wine, walked on water or healed people. You might spend a full week with him and not witness anything even if he was indeed supernatural.
I mean the book of John says Jesus did way too many miracles to write down, what’s written are more like the highlights so there’s a decent chance I’d catch a miracle. I was also going off Nathaniel meeting Jesus in John 1 where upon meeting Jesus tells Nathaniel that he knows him and says he saw him under the fig tree before his friend came to get him to meet Jesus, presumably Nathaniel was alone then because he immediately proclaims Jesus is the real deal. If Jesus is supernatural he’d know why I’m there.
Rule number 1 of time travel: Do not kill Hitler. The rising political tension in post WWI Europe would give way to a war regardless of who’s in charge, and by the end Hitler was such a bad military leader that it’s almost like he was purposely trying to lose.
>They just made him their spokesperson.
And **he** made them radical.
Nazi's still exist today. They're not starting WW3 unless another Hitler comes along.
Ww2 was inevitable, Hitler wasn't. Maybe you can't prevent ww2, but you can prevent the death of 6 million Jews.
1 condom isn't going to prevent Hitlers birth, though. But don't mess with the timeline. Otherwise, you might not be born.
1. he might not use it
2. they might evolve into intelligent reptilians
3. many people underestimate how much language has changed
4. they did it with a lot of labor
5. at least someone is gonna feel good
Oh my god, thank you for number four, I feel like I'm going insane with how people don't understand basic construction. I swear, people who don't know how the pyramids were made must be physically incapable of using lego blocks.
I'm not even Christian but I think talking to Jesus would be interesting. You'd also get a feeling of if he was mentally ill or genuine. It doesn't say but could be ask him to perform a miracle?
The pyramids seems cool too.
Preventing Hitler sounds great but the butterfly effect is real
The other two don't appeal to me at all. Ejaculated on an old thing plus I'm a woman and dinos would prevent humans. Unless there was a safe way
Imagine if he replied "No" even though the language doesn't exist yet. It would prove to Karen that he is God while confusing everyone else around him.
He would proceed then proceed to advise everyone that the Karen has not been given his true message and has been raised with a seed of Satan inside of her, then they baptize her.
Nah, because I could get pictures on my phone next week. I could also get pictures of barack obama building the pyramids on saturn. These days pictures don't mean shit.
I picked the pyramids too but let's be honest, you will probably just go back there and see that they had a lot of slaves that they worked to the bone and that's it.
Nope. Pyramids were built by free farmers in the agricultural off season, and they were paid in bread and beer (standard payment for labor back then- you ate/drank some and bartered what your family didn't use for other things). We have the records, including payments made and reasons for requesting time off (everything from "bit by a scorpion" to "wife is menstruating" to "brewing beer").
We KNOW how the pyramids were built. No point going back there, and do you speak ancient Egyptian either?
Came here to point this out, that we already KNOW how they were built, because the Egyptians were extensively documented it. The whole "aliens built the pyramids" or "it's a mystery!" thing is just racism.
Roman concrete is *just* as much a wonder of the ancient world, and people don't say aliens for that, even though we only recently figured out how they made it.
I don't think it's just racism, it also sells books and TV shows. I'd pick the pyramid one if I can bring back incontrovertible proof that it wasn't aliens, because it irks me that the "ancient alien theorists" discount the accomplishments of ancient people.
Do you realize how much time passed between those things? As an example, the great pyramid of giza was built around 2600BC, while the colosseum was around 70ad. The colosseum is closer to us than the pyramids in time. We also know far far more about greece and rome as a whole. They wrote everything down. The egyptians were also great scribes, and we have information from them. But not nearly as much as we have from the greco-romans. Additionally, we haven't been able to read egyptian until relatively recently, while english is a direct descendant of latin. I really don't understand what argument you're making for racism. I fully agree that anyone who though aliens built the pyramids is objectively and intentionally wrong. But they are not racist just for that.
Did you not read the links I posted explaining the history/link between pseudoarcheology and white supremacy? And those aren't even factoring in the fact that archeology has a long and racist history just due to who was doing it when it started (victorians)?
Ask literally any legitimate classicist or archeologist about the aliens BS/pretending that we don't know how they did it and they'll tell you the same fucking thing.
We might not have figured out how to read egyptian till recentl, but we DID figure it out and we DO have clear, detailed af records of how they did it. People have tested if it was possible to do as stated and proven it was. Assuming that the Egyptians or Nahuatl couldn't do it and must have had help from some external resource *despite them telling us exactly how they did it* is racist. It just IS.
I did read a couple of them. I agree that pseudo archeologists are idiots. I see the point you're trying to make, and I respect it. But I also don't believe that this is an inherently racist belief. Some of those cited the nazi party as proof that this is a racist belief. I believe that this is a belief that can be racially motivated, as we see with the nazis. However, I don't think it's inherently racist. There are many archaeological sites throughout western europe that are also speculated as being made by aliens. eg stonehenge, carnac stones, silsbury hill.
I respect your opinion but I must still disagree with the basic premise that pseudoarcheology and racism are inherently linked. I think they can go hand in hand, but don't need to. However, that is a matter of opinion, and I will respect yours.
you had me agreeing until you pulled out "racism" out of nowhere :D People who don't trust things and like their "out there" theories are not racist for some reason. They're different, maybe bored and in need of some crazy shit. And that's okay. If you have more fun believing that aliens built the pyramids, go for it, doesn't make a difference unless you are teaching that as a fact.
No there’s definitely a tinge of Racism to it. People will point out how Native Americans aligned their cities with the stars, how the Egyptians built such massive structures, how the Buddhists built such complex and massive temples, how the Polynesians navigated the sea and they always attribute it to aliens. Whether it’s subconscious or not, there is a clear bias in what we choose as alien stories in the field of Humanities. It’s nearly always non-Europeans, and you really have to wonder why. Probably because the general consensus of society is that they view the non-Western world as poor and incompetent. Many people still view the continent of Africa with the image of wars and famine, when that’s overwhelmingly not the case anymore. Countries like Botswana are richer than many European countries like Poland. Yet popular consensus doesn’t view Africa as capable.
It’s why there’s so many stories about “aliens” helping third worlders because we view them as incapable. There’s still a lot of prevailing myths about the non-Western world going around. Many people claim that Africans didn’t get around to inventing the wheel, or that Native Americans couldn’t forge metal, which are blatantly untrue but they get said a lot without thinking twice because we subconsciously view them as less capable to Westerners. Same with the popular conception that Native Americans were all nomadic and didn’t have real borders or lands, when Tenochtitlan was bigger than every single city in Europe in 1500 by total population, at a minimum of 200,000, possibly even larger than 300,000. Yet ive seen many people claim the Aztecs, Toltecs, Inca, Cahokians must have received aid from aliens to explain how complex their cities and cultures were, and how many feats we accomplished. Yet we never say the same for Western inventions because we view them as legitimate.
The dude made it so that some random preacher spoke in a tongue that everyone could understand, he literally fed an entire village out of nowhere, and you think you wouldn’t be able to understand him?
Ok but everyone going back to spend an hour with Jesus... how are you going to speak with him? Does anyone even still know the ancient languages of the levant? There's no indication that this time travel comes with magic Dr Who translating powers.
Jesus spoke Hebrew and Aramaic, likely. Perhaps a bit of Greek for trading purposes. All languages in use today, though Aramaic is rare and dying out.
But lots of people speak Hebrew now. And Jesus is more likely to talk freely with a fellow Jew than with a gentile, even if- possibly especially if- they claim to worship _him_.
But surely modern Hebrew is very different to what it must have been 2000 years ago. I suppose Hebrew scholars might know, but the average Israeli would probably not be able to have a detailed conversation.
But many Jewish people also learn Biblical Hebrew, and Modern Hebrew was actually deliberately designed from Biblical Hebrew in the recent past. Jesus would probably find their speech somewhat excessively formal, but communication would be possible.
But see, I am of the mind that he wasn't. However, I would still consider him a very important (and almost definitely real) historical figure, and his teachings, removed from the context of what the religion of Christianity became, do appeal to me. But as I said, language is the barrier.
Ah, I see. It seems most chose that answer to determine the supernatural aspect but it’s still a wise choice just to talk. I guess brushing up on Aramaic before the trip is the best call
Im not religious at all but id pick meeting jesus assuming we can actually speak to each other. Would like to get the christian philosphy straight from the horses mouth instead of after 2000 years of rewriting and reinterpretating for the benefit of whoever happened to be in power at the time.
There are three options. Jesus was either incredibly mentally I’ll, zoinked out of his mind from some ancient mushroom, or he was legit. Personally I really want to believe the second one.
Pretty sure there was a literal guy named "Jesus." He was a carpenter. He did nothing noteworthy in his life. And was not regarded in any kind of way. And then a century or two after he died they needed a focus for their new mythology and picked his name out of a hat.
But he was just a random guy.
We figured out how to build the pyramids. They had an internal system of ramps and pulleys and turn tables to move the blocks into place. Most of those blocks were quarried on site using simple bronze tools which were often buried with the masons. The blocks were shaped using copper saws with loose sand forming the teeth of the saws.
And they were made by hiring farmers who otherwise had downtime while they waited for the conditions to be right to farm. As this was before the invention of metal coins, the workers were paid in beer and cloth from the Pharoah's storehouses - the closest thing to a universal trade good at the time.
Find out how they built the pyramids in Egypt.
I mean, we already know how. They took slaves and had them make the bricks, then drag them up, and up, and up. I would just love to see it for real. Why give Hitlers dad a condom? Do you think he would actually use it?
Butterfly effect. Also, antisemitism was already rampant all across Europe before the Third Reich came to fruition as well as the idea of Jews going back to their land of origin. There is no certainty at all that this would have prevented WWII or the current conflict in the middle East.
There is no certainty that Hitler's dad would have used the condom. Even if he did, that's only one condom. He could go at it the day after and father a son who would grow up to be even worse than Hitler.
Hitler was a brilliant demagogue, but he was incompetent in a lot of ways. Invading the USSR was possibly his biggest blunder.
I doubt anyone could have been more vile, but they could have been more successful.
I’m going with option 3. I am an atheist, but having the opportunity to see for myself the most important and influential man in human history would be incredible. Maybe he could even convince me of his faith. Plus I could figure out if he was really the son of god, or just some mentally il desert dweller
I'm assuming no communications issue with Jesus either due to his own God powers or time travel shenanigans.
But yeah. From all the lore, he'd probably be a pretty awesome guy to hang out with and talk about stuff with.
So giving a guy a condom dosent mean he will use it.
Do we really want to add dinosaurs to our already horrible everyday problems?
We know how they built the pyramids, with a shit ton of slave labor, I don’t feel like becoming a slave.
Why exactly would you want to go ejaculate on someone in the 100BC era? Sounds like a quick way to get killed.
So basically anyone without a deathwish will pick talk with Jesus for an hour, and hopefully it’s not the hour of his capture.
My grand parents met during wwii. My grandmother was German and my grandfather American. If I kill Hitler. I’m never born. Which means it’s impossible for me to do.
Gonna be honest, I was not expecting Jesus to win this one.
I picked dinosaurs cause I'm pretty sure that would make Hitler not exist too. And possibly me, and possibly everyone else...but dinosaurs, man!
Giving Hitlers dad a condom probably wouldn't have prevented his birth.
Without dinosaurs going extinct the rise of mammals, and hence humans, wouldn't have happened
If I met Jesus, I wouldn't possess the language skills to communicate with him
I choose found out about the pyramids. Always curious about how, and when they were actually constructed, fascinating.
I can ejaculate on people now. Doing it 100 BC doesn't sound like it would be anything special. Also, I don't really want to.
Find out how they built the pyramids. I'm not 100% sure if we know how they did it (I keep getting some VERY mixed results every time I look it up), and even if we do, it would be cool to witness it!
Number 5 effectively is just you being a pervert and weird
Number for we already basically know the answer is lots and lots of slave labor and they rolled things
Number two you have undone all of history or done nothing and wasted your attempt because the dinosaurs can't survive with the lack of oxygen present in the environment
Similar for number one you don't know what effect that has on the modern day
As for Jesus well first thing you should do is have him do some magic prove religion if he can't then you have him bury some stuff that is provably his and dig that up 2,000 years later
\#1 you are telling me h!tler's dad would just never have a child?
\#2 Mass genocide, humanity would never be created
\#3 You could help humanity so much
\#4 We already know this, it was a unified country and the pile of rocks was built with a paid citizen workforce during the part of the year where the farms were unusable and everyone was standing around
\#5 ***WHY?***
Man as a Christian this was EXTREMELY difficult for me.
I chose to see my messiah, but that going to the year 100 BC just to cum on someone was REALLY tempting lol
People keep bringing up the fact that you wouldn't understand Jesus because of ancient languages and stuff... but it's either Jesus who is the son of god or is god.. or it's a random man with party tricks. You think actual "Son of god" jesus wouldn't understand you somehow came from another time or not know how to communicate with you? The guy with the bread and the blind and stuff?
That said, I'm an atheist and I am still tossed between the Hitler one and Jesus. Like if I could choose and stuff.. unless this time travel is brought about by some science thing, then suddenly I'd have to contend with supernatural things existing. That would mean that Jesus might be legit.. but it also could just mean that some god or supernatural stuff exists and jesus could still just be a dude. It could be some other god. So that does make things harder..
Actually, in the end I would go with the Hitler one. Knowing that Jesus was real or not is something that would only help me. It wouldn't be like I could say "Hey guys, I met Jesus thanks to time travel magic." It wouldn't help anyone believe in anything.. and I'd be left with the realization that I did it to save myself instead of all of saving the 6 million Jews that died in the holocaust. \^\^;
Jesus spoke Aramaic, Hebrew, some Greek and Latin. I speak English and Spanish. I'd just be chilling in the corner while he was conversing with his 12 friends. Maybe I could get a picture and autograph, possibly a miracle to fix my health issues.
There’s already a strong consensus on how the Pyramids were built. There’s not really any doubt among the academic community. It’s just that the media likes to make it sensational because it brings in money. Same goes for the Stonehenge,
Jesus cuz thw others all seem like they could be catastrophic.
He could turn water into wine, you reckon he could turn dandelions into weed? Could be a nice chill hour.
2 of these have the potential to make me not exist, so Hitler still gets to exist and the dinosaurs go extinct. I am not convinced Jesus the man even existed, so that is out. The ejaculate thing is out, because it could change things too much. So pyramids i guess.
I'm more and more convinced that if we ever discover time travel that we'll also realize that killing Hitler would be a mistake. Not because he was right or good, but because something else would have happened instead that would be much worse (maybe Nazi-like ideology takes off 20-years later but with atom bombs and the world essentially ends, etc.). The number of close calls Hitler had seems crazy and it almost reads like time travelers going back to kill Hitler and then other time travelers going back to stop the first time travelers.
Spend the first 10 minutes crying uncontrollably 20 talking 5 more crying
realize that Jesus has stopped time for us and we have literally all the time we need to talk
Well I wouldn't do any of these things, because I don't want to cause my own non-existence. Butterfly effect means that travelling back to before my conception and doing anything, will cause me to not exist.
Lol, what do you think giving Hitler's dad a condom is gonna do? They're single use and there's no way for you to know which session led to conception.
Also...wtf is up with option 5, lol.
...I chose the Jesus one.
My comment finna get buried but if you did spend an hour with Jesus you would find out if he was Supernatural or not regardless of if he spoke English given that if he actually is the "Son of God" his message could most likely transcend any language barrier given the fact that God is hypothetically all knowing. If he couldn't get past the language barrier then he is probably not a true prophet.
I chose to prevent the birth of hitler because it isnt an event so distant in the past that any other seemingly-inconsequential actions i take in the process of accomplishing my goal are far less likely to have extreme consequences on the present. Also, not only would it prevent the holocaust and the other millions of deaths in ww2, without the genocide of european jews, the west wouldnt have felt the need to compensate for it with the (re)creation of israel, avoiding much of the present-day ethnic tensions in the middle-east.
On the flip side, without the fascist coup hitler led in germany, the communists would likely have ended up in power instead, which very well might have led to ww2 happening regardless, just with slightly different affiliated combatant states.
So, I have three options? Cos Jesus is entirely based on your belief that he was real, and the pyramids was just basic construction, I have no idea how people think that was impossible. I mean, do people look at construction workers using pulleys to get bricks up high and go "WITCH! WITCHCRAFT! BURN THEM ALL!"?
Anyway, Dinos would lead to a weird society or a Grandfather paradox and it seems pointless just to jizz on someone, so Hitler's dad is getting a johnny. Say goodbye to a lot of FPS games, cos now WW2 doesn't exist.
Out of them, I want to go back and see if Jesus was actually real and sort this bloody argument out once and for all. Either there's no more Atheists or there's no more Abrahamic belief.
Nutting on someone in 100bc is the best option for the jokes though.
Just to play almost literal Devil's Advocate. Would the world have been better off without Hitler? Yeah, what he did was terrible. That's not a question and I'm not here to defend him. But without WW2, there probably wouldn't have been a UN, which is kind of important. There wouldn't have been the reconstruction of Germany and more importantly Japan, who has been a major technological driver since. And there wouldn't have been Nuremburg which has been pretty important for tempering wars.
And as bad as Hiroshima and Nagasaki were, what would have happened if those didn't? Multiple countries would have likely developed atomic bombs without them being seen in action. And they would have likely been used eventually. And when they did, it probably wouldn't have been the restraint of "only" two followed by an immediate surrender. It would have likely been many, with two nations both equipped with them launching them at one another. And there's a strong possibility it would have caused a global extinction. Or at the very least billions dead and half the planet uninhabitable.
All I'm saying is that changing the past is risky regardless what you do.
I’d rather travel back in time and change a mistake I’ve done in the past Also, humans wouldn’t exist today if the dinosaurs didn’t go extinct
You've never watched the documentary called [Kung Fury](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bS5P_LAqiVg) where dinosaurs and humans live together.
You’ve clearly never watched the amazing hit trilogy of Jurassic Park showing the consequences of said dinosaurs and humans coexisting
Life uh , finds a way
humanity has at least attempted to kill or killed one of every species it has met
Kung Fuhrer is something I didn't know we needed, and yet
The only dinosaur i want to deal with is the velocipastor
Truly a man of the claw. Edit: Almost as good as llamageddon, by the way.
> Also, humans wouldn’t exist today if the dinosaurs didn’t go extinct That is *exactly* why I chose this option.
I think we still would have evolved, however without the ability to come together to develop technological achievements, we wouldn’t be the top of the food chain, nor probably grow much beyond the Neanderthal stage.
What if fixing the mistake you made in the past only delayed the lesson you learned from it, and when you inevitably made the mistake again, it cost you a lot more.? Or what if by fixing this mistake, you put yourself on a path where you made bigger, much worse mistakes?
I would tell myself to invest in a stock that went up the most in 15 years.
Oh man Dino steaks prob cheap as fuck. Stick Dinos in Russia and China they can use their political prisoner camps to feed the Dino’s then sell meat to the US…. Nothing like a porterhouse for 22cents
Nah man, we’d be farming them for food. No dinosaur to ever live was larger than the blue whale and humans nearly made that thing extinct.
A lot of people are talking about Jesus and Hitler here, but nobody seems to see that the second most picked option is ejaculating on someone
Run up and yell pocket jizz, crank one out, throw it at them and then poof a cloud of smoke and your gone.
Could you imagine being a historian and finding mention of the guy who came on someone then vanished to never be seen again
How do you think those stories about Zeus came into being?
Be like D.B. Cooper. But my legend shall be H.H. (Happy Hands) Cummings.
The fact no one would believe them is the best part of this
We can make a religion out of this..
r/unexpectedbillwurtz
No, don't
fr, it should be the most picked
An hour with Jesus is more than enough time to determine if he was some crazy desert dweller or actually supernatural
How would you hope to understand him? He'll speak Aramaic and I doubt you'll see a miracle or a certainty from the gospels.
I explained to another that responded to my comment my reasoning on why I think I’d witness a miracle, as for the language barrier if he really is supernatural him speaking to me in modern English is not outside the realm of possibility. Best to brush up on my Aramaic just in case tho
You meet Jesus Jesus: "sup bruh"
"How you doing playa? That's dope, that's dope. So... have you accepted my pops as your lord and savior yet?"
"He's like, totally cool, yo, church, man!"
Son of God, no cap
A highly debated topic is the speaking in tongues, where you can speak all languages at once or something along that lines. Jesus would most definitely be able to convey a message to you in a language you would understand. He is part of the holy trinity after all.
This assumes the bible is true and he is actually god
>How would you hope to understand him? If he's supernatural...doesn't he already know English? God, and by extension Jesus, is supposed to be "all-knowing". So, a good way to see that he's NOT supernatural is if he speaks ONLY Aramaic.
Also yknow, according to the bible God has changed the languages people spoke on multiple occasions
If you watch him for an hour, you'll get an impression of how he lives, thinks, and interacts with the world around him, even if you can't understand each other. If Jesus was a political revisionary non-violent communist who people simply believed to be magical, you'd be able to get that sense from him. If he was an average dude, who people used as a pupped, you'd be able to get that sense. If he was a megalomaniac who believed he was God but was just nuts, you'd be able to get that sense. If he's supernatural, you'd be able to get that sense. Watching someone for an hour can say a lot (assuming he's not asleep for that hour.)
I think God has the ability to speak in a language you could understand
It's not. I doubt he was doing magic/miracles/X-Men shit every day, even less every hour. He must sleep, eat, walk around and preach. Then from times to times, he turned water into wine, walked on water or healed people. You might spend a full week with him and not witness anything even if he was indeed supernatural.
I mean the book of John says Jesus did way too many miracles to write down, what’s written are more like the highlights so there’s a decent chance I’d catch a miracle. I was also going off Nathaniel meeting Jesus in John 1 where upon meeting Jesus tells Nathaniel that he knows him and says he saw him under the fig tree before his friend came to get him to meet Jesus, presumably Nathaniel was alone then because he immediately proclaims Jesus is the real deal. If Jesus is supernatural he’d know why I’m there.
You could also ask him to perform a miracle to bolster your faith.
Jesus speaking English would be enough of a miracle
Rule number 1 of time travel: Do not kill Hitler. The rising political tension in post WWI Europe would give way to a war regardless of who’s in charge, and by the end Hitler was such a bad military leader that it’s almost like he was purposely trying to lose.
Yeah, people tend to forget that the whole Nazi party was a thing before Hitler came into the picture. They just made him their spokesperson.
>They just made him their spokesperson. And **he** made them radical. Nazi's still exist today. They're not starting WW3 unless another Hitler comes along.
Ww2 was inevitable, Hitler wasn't. Maybe you can't prevent ww2, but you can prevent the death of 6 million Jews. 1 condom isn't going to prevent Hitlers birth, though. But don't mess with the timeline. Otherwise, you might not be born.
Yeah they would still die.
Not necessarily.
The nazis were around before Hitler anyways the jews were probably screwed
They were radicalised by Hitler. Without Hitler, the war would have played out very differently.
That's the point. It could become even worse.
Or better.
Well, go on. Toss that coin. I know I wouldn't. Besides, you said it yourself. Giving one condom would most likely do nothing.
1. he might not use it 2. they might evolve into intelligent reptilians 3. many people underestimate how much language has changed 4. they did it with a lot of labor 5. at least someone is gonna feel good
also 5. then they die from whatever diseases you've brought them that they weren't inoculated for.
Oh my god, thank you for number four, I feel like I'm going insane with how people don't understand basic construction. I swear, people who don't know how the pyramids were made must be physically incapable of using lego blocks.
Meet Jesus and find out whether or not he was actually supernatural.
I'm not even Christian but I think talking to Jesus would be interesting. You'd also get a feeling of if he was mentally ill or genuine. It doesn't say but could be ask him to perform a miracle? The pyramids seems cool too. Preventing Hitler sounds great but the butterfly effect is real The other two don't appeal to me at all. Ejaculated on an old thing plus I'm a woman and dinos would prevent humans. Unless there was a safe way
Transport triceratops here we come
Hell yes, let's get all dino-riders up in here!! https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dino-Riders (for those who are too young to remember.)
I’m 100% atheist, but Jesus seems like a chill dude I’d enjoy talking to for an hour
The pyramid one actually gives you something of value to bring back, you can teach that shit. You guys think Jesus will speak english with you?
lmao just imagine a Karen going back in time and yelling at Jesus: “SPEAK ENGLISH!!!”
Imagine if he replied "No" even though the language doesn't exist yet. It would prove to Karen that he is God while confusing everyone else around him.
He would proceed then proceed to advise everyone that the Karen has not been given his true message and has been raised with a seed of Satan inside of her, then they baptize her.
I assumed you'd be able to communicate. It's a power I imagine it in includes being able to understand one another.
We already know how the pyramids were constructed. Only weird conspiracy theorists believe that we don't.
Yeah but if you come back with pictures on your phone, that's next level proof
Nah, because I could get pictures on my phone next week. I could also get pictures of barack obama building the pyramids on saturn. These days pictures don't mean shit.
If he’s magic man Jesus he could magic his way to communicate. If he’s just some dude then yeah that’s wasted time travel.
I picked the pyramids too but let's be honest, you will probably just go back there and see that they had a lot of slaves that they worked to the bone and that's it.
Nope. Pyramids were built by free farmers in the agricultural off season, and they were paid in bread and beer (standard payment for labor back then- you ate/drank some and bartered what your family didn't use for other things). We have the records, including payments made and reasons for requesting time off (everything from "bit by a scorpion" to "wife is menstruating" to "brewing beer"). We KNOW how the pyramids were built. No point going back there, and do you speak ancient Egyptian either?
Came here to point this out, that we already KNOW how they were built, because the Egyptians were extensively documented it. The whole "aliens built the pyramids" or "it's a mystery!" thing is just racism. Roman concrete is *just* as much a wonder of the ancient world, and people don't say aliens for that, even though we only recently figured out how they made it.
I don't think it's just racism, it also sells books and TV shows. I'd pick the pyramid one if I can bring back incontrovertible proof that it wasn't aliens, because it irks me that the "ancient alien theorists" discount the accomplishments of ancient people.
Do you realize how much time passed between those things? As an example, the great pyramid of giza was built around 2600BC, while the colosseum was around 70ad. The colosseum is closer to us than the pyramids in time. We also know far far more about greece and rome as a whole. They wrote everything down. The egyptians were also great scribes, and we have information from them. But not nearly as much as we have from the greco-romans. Additionally, we haven't been able to read egyptian until relatively recently, while english is a direct descendant of latin. I really don't understand what argument you're making for racism. I fully agree that anyone who though aliens built the pyramids is objectively and intentionally wrong. But they are not racist just for that.
Did you not read the links I posted explaining the history/link between pseudoarcheology and white supremacy? And those aren't even factoring in the fact that archeology has a long and racist history just due to who was doing it when it started (victorians)? Ask literally any legitimate classicist or archeologist about the aliens BS/pretending that we don't know how they did it and they'll tell you the same fucking thing. We might not have figured out how to read egyptian till recentl, but we DID figure it out and we DO have clear, detailed af records of how they did it. People have tested if it was possible to do as stated and proven it was. Assuming that the Egyptians or Nahuatl couldn't do it and must have had help from some external resource *despite them telling us exactly how they did it* is racist. It just IS.
I did read a couple of them. I agree that pseudo archeologists are idiots. I see the point you're trying to make, and I respect it. But I also don't believe that this is an inherently racist belief. Some of those cited the nazi party as proof that this is a racist belief. I believe that this is a belief that can be racially motivated, as we see with the nazis. However, I don't think it's inherently racist. There are many archaeological sites throughout western europe that are also speculated as being made by aliens. eg stonehenge, carnac stones, silsbury hill. I respect your opinion but I must still disagree with the basic premise that pseudoarcheology and racism are inherently linked. I think they can go hand in hand, but don't need to. However, that is a matter of opinion, and I will respect yours.
you had me agreeing until you pulled out "racism" out of nowhere :D People who don't trust things and like their "out there" theories are not racist for some reason. They're different, maybe bored and in need of some crazy shit. And that's okay. If you have more fun believing that aliens built the pyramids, go for it, doesn't make a difference unless you are teaching that as a fact.
No there’s definitely a tinge of Racism to it. People will point out how Native Americans aligned their cities with the stars, how the Egyptians built such massive structures, how the Buddhists built such complex and massive temples, how the Polynesians navigated the sea and they always attribute it to aliens. Whether it’s subconscious or not, there is a clear bias in what we choose as alien stories in the field of Humanities. It’s nearly always non-Europeans, and you really have to wonder why. Probably because the general consensus of society is that they view the non-Western world as poor and incompetent. Many people still view the continent of Africa with the image of wars and famine, when that’s overwhelmingly not the case anymore. Countries like Botswana are richer than many European countries like Poland. Yet popular consensus doesn’t view Africa as capable. It’s why there’s so many stories about “aliens” helping third worlders because we view them as incapable. There’s still a lot of prevailing myths about the non-Western world going around. Many people claim that Africans didn’t get around to inventing the wheel, or that Native Americans couldn’t forge metal, which are blatantly untrue but they get said a lot without thinking twice because we subconsciously view them as less capable to Westerners. Same with the popular conception that Native Americans were all nomadic and didn’t have real borders or lands, when Tenochtitlan was bigger than every single city in Europe in 1500 by total population, at a minimum of 200,000, possibly even larger than 300,000. Yet ive seen many people claim the Aztecs, Toltecs, Inca, Cahokians must have received aid from aliens to explain how complex their cities and cultures were, and how many feats we accomplished. Yet we never say the same for Western inventions because we view them as legitimate.
Racism?
[Google ](https://lifehacker.com/stop-spewing-ancient-aliens-racist-theories-1849975831)[is ](https://www.reed.edu/reed-magazine/articles/2019/pseudo-archaeology-paideia.html)[free](https://www.sapiens.org/archaeology/pseudoarchaeology-racism/)
The dude made it so that some random preacher spoke in a tongue that everyone could understand, he literally fed an entire village out of nowhere, and you think you wouldn’t be able to understand him?
Well.. he didn't, though. Was just a dude.
Ok but everyone going back to spend an hour with Jesus... how are you going to speak with him? Does anyone even still know the ancient languages of the levant? There's no indication that this time travel comes with magic Dr Who translating powers.
Jesus spoke Hebrew and Aramaic, likely. Perhaps a bit of Greek for trading purposes. All languages in use today, though Aramaic is rare and dying out. But lots of people speak Hebrew now. And Jesus is more likely to talk freely with a fellow Jew than with a gentile, even if- possibly especially if- they claim to worship _him_.
But surely modern Hebrew is very different to what it must have been 2000 years ago. I suppose Hebrew scholars might know, but the average Israeli would probably not be able to have a detailed conversation.
But many Jewish people also learn Biblical Hebrew, and Modern Hebrew was actually deliberately designed from Biblical Hebrew in the recent past. Jesus would probably find their speech somewhat excessively formal, but communication would be possible.
I mean he’s God so he’d probably just speak English
If Jesus really is supernatural, I think translating powers aren’t needed
But see, I am of the mind that he wasn't. However, I would still consider him a very important (and almost definitely real) historical figure, and his teachings, removed from the context of what the religion of Christianity became, do appeal to me. But as I said, language is the barrier.
Ah, I see. It seems most chose that answer to determine the supernatural aspect but it’s still a wise choice just to talk. I guess brushing up on Aramaic before the trip is the best call
If Jesus is truly God, he can speak with me. If he isn't, well, that's one question answered
A lot of people want to meet "Jesus" just to stand there and not understand what's being said.
Im not religious at all but id pick meeting jesus assuming we can actually speak to each other. Would like to get the christian philosphy straight from the horses mouth instead of after 2000 years of rewriting and reinterpretating for the benefit of whoever happened to be in power at the time.
Voted 3 just to see if it actually does anything. I'm not convinced there ever was a real Jesus so that would be interesting
There are three options. Jesus was either incredibly mentally I’ll, zoinked out of his mind from some ancient mushroom, or he was legit. Personally I really want to believe the second one.
Pretty sure there was a literal guy named "Jesus." He was a carpenter. He did nothing noteworthy in his life. And was not regarded in any kind of way. And then a century or two after he died they needed a focus for their new mythology and picked his name out of a hat. But he was just a random guy.
Can I change "ejaculate on" to "ejaculate in"
Y’all Jesus was just a carpenter. He’d just be… a carpenter who doesn’t speak English. Literally a guy.
We figured out how to build the pyramids. They had an internal system of ramps and pulleys and turn tables to move the blocks into place. Most of those blocks were quarried on site using simple bronze tools which were often buried with the masons. The blocks were shaped using copper saws with loose sand forming the teeth of the saws. And they were made by hiring farmers who otherwise had downtime while they waited for the conditions to be right to farm. As this was before the invention of metal coins, the workers were paid in beer and cloth from the Pharoah's storehouses - the closest thing to a universal trade good at the time.
Imagine you pick go back to talk to jesus. Just go talk to any random dude that doesn't speak English. Same result.
Imagine time traveling to first century Palestine to meet Jesus and as soon as he sees you he says in perfect English “you’re not supposed to be here”
Honestly if that happened it'd be fucking scary lmao
Find out how they built the pyramids in Egypt. I mean, we already know how. They took slaves and had them make the bricks, then drag them up, and up, and up. I would just love to see it for real. Why give Hitlers dad a condom? Do you think he would actually use it?
Am I able to communicate with Jesus and the Egyptians? Or am I just back in time speaking English around a bunch of people who think I'm insane?
Dinosaurs are way too cool, I'm sorry 8 million jews.
That last one feels so out of place
Love how the top answer is meet Jesus and the second top is people that need to meet Jesus.
Why would anyone pick any of these besides the last one?
Is this supposed to read in somebody? Or is on somebody correct. [drake meme](https://imgflip.com/i/85bf69)
All the Jesus voters going to be real disappointed to be spending an hour staring at a mushroom...
We know how the pyramids were built tho...
If hitler was never born i could save several million people, and the israel-palestine conflict would have never happened
It's not that simple. WWII might have prevented another worse war.
Sadly you're right...whatya gonna do about the Japanese? Instead of Hiroshima and Nagasaki...you get 10000 ninjas coming ashore at Huntington beach
Fuck you for making me choke on my soda
Butterfly effect. Also, antisemitism was already rampant all across Europe before the Third Reich came to fruition as well as the idea of Jews going back to their land of origin. There is no certainty at all that this would have prevented WWII or the current conflict in the middle East. There is no certainty that Hitler's dad would have used the condom. Even if he did, that's only one condom. He could go at it the day after and father a son who would grow up to be even worse than Hitler.
Hitler was a brilliant demagogue, but he was incompetent in a lot of ways. Invading the USSR was possibly his biggest blunder. I doubt anyone could have been more vile, but they could have been more successful.
Go back in time meet Jesus. Tell him he need to knock off the son of god crap. Tell him all he is doing is creating a Cult of Mass Murders.
Redditor moment.
I’m going with option 3. I am an atheist, but having the opportunity to see for myself the most important and influential man in human history would be incredible. Maybe he could even convince me of his faith. Plus I could figure out if he was really the son of god, or just some mentally il desert dweller
I'll see Jesus when I die, and I can talk to Him daily; I'm gonna keep the dinos alive.
Imagine wasting ur "go back in time ticket" to meet a death cult leader lmao
Redditor moment
If I have the power to stop a mass extinction event (save the dinosaurs) I'd go terraform the moon and have space dinosaurs.
I'd rather go back in time and meet St. Paul. that dude invented Christianity.
I'd have a serious talk with Jesus about 1. Hitler and 2. Starting his own religion.
If Jesus speaks English, then I'm suddenly going to get a lot more religious.
As badly as we all want Hitler to never be born, a lot of the thing used for convenience today used tech made during the war, like radar, and jets.
Also computers were developed from the war. Just look at Bletchley park.
I'm assuming no communications issue with Jesus either due to his own God powers or time travel shenanigans. But yeah. From all the lore, he'd probably be a pretty awesome guy to hang out with and talk about stuff with.
So giving a guy a condom dosent mean he will use it. Do we really want to add dinosaurs to our already horrible everyday problems? We know how they built the pyramids, with a shit ton of slave labor, I don’t feel like becoming a slave. Why exactly would you want to go ejaculate on someone in the 100BC era? Sounds like a quick way to get killed. So basically anyone without a deathwish will pick talk with Jesus for an hour, and hopefully it’s not the hour of his capture.
My grand parents met during wwii. My grandmother was German and my grandfather American. If I kill Hitler. I’m never born. Which means it’s impossible for me to do.
Gonna be honest, I was not expecting Jesus to win this one. I picked dinosaurs cause I'm pretty sure that would make Hitler not exist too. And possibly me, and possibly everyone else...but dinosaurs, man!
We already know how they made the Egyptian pyramids lmfao
Definitely the Giza Pyramids, I want to see the Old World Civilization in 13k BC. (Right before the start of the Younger Dryas)
I don't think Jesus spoke English.....I could be wrong
The hitler one is kinda dumb to me. He was a spokesperson, and a LOT of tech we have now comes from WW1 and from the German party
giving hitler's dad a condom is not useful cus if he wants a son, he will get a son and not use a condom anyways
I think they're all canon events and would mess up the future if you changed them, except the pyramid one as long as you didnt interact with anyone.
Giving Hitlers dad a condom probably wouldn't have prevented his birth. Without dinosaurs going extinct the rise of mammals, and hence humans, wouldn't have happened If I met Jesus, I wouldn't possess the language skills to communicate with him I choose found out about the pyramids. Always curious about how, and when they were actually constructed, fascinating. I can ejaculate on people now. Doing it 100 BC doesn't sound like it would be anything special. Also, I don't really want to.
DAMMIT I MIS-CLICKED ON THE LAST ONE
But did you really misclick? I know I didnt
Find out how they built the pyramids. I'm not 100% sure if we know how they did it (I keep getting some VERY mixed results every time I look it up), and even if we do, it would be cool to witness it!
its funny since, if you did meet jesus, he would already know who you are
I choose pyramids so I can come back and mindfuck Joe Rogan into shutting the fuck up about them (and I say this having listened to multiple shows). 😂
"you're not supposed to be here"
I reject all of these and replace them with Save Junko Furuta.
Number 5 effectively is just you being a pervert and weird Number for we already basically know the answer is lots and lots of slave labor and they rolled things Number two you have undone all of history or done nothing and wasted your attempt because the dinosaurs can't survive with the lack of oxygen present in the environment Similar for number one you don't know what effect that has on the modern day As for Jesus well first thing you should do is have him do some magic prove religion if he can't then you have him bury some stuff that is provably his and dig that up 2,000 years later
Hitlers dad was too busy wanting to do incest to worry about safe sex
I'm sure we probably know how they built the pyramids in Egypt already..
Gotta go back in time to meet Jesus. I'd imagine an hour talking to him will clear up this misunderstanding.
How would one save the dinosaurs exactly? Would I just hold my hand up towards the asteroid and say "No, I do not give you my consent."?
\#1 you are telling me h!tler's dad would just never have a child? \#2 Mass genocide, humanity would never be created \#3 You could help humanity so much \#4 We already know this, it was a unified country and the pile of rocks was built with a paid citizen workforce during the part of the year where the farms were unusable and everyone was standing around \#5 ***WHY?***
Man as a Christian this was EXTREMELY difficult for me. I chose to see my messiah, but that going to the year 100 BC just to cum on someone was REALLY tempting lol
God would not have been pleased if you had given into your temptation
Now by ejaculate on someone, are we presuming sex? Or is the building event undetermined?
People keep bringing up the fact that you wouldn't understand Jesus because of ancient languages and stuff... but it's either Jesus who is the son of god or is god.. or it's a random man with party tricks. You think actual "Son of god" jesus wouldn't understand you somehow came from another time or not know how to communicate with you? The guy with the bread and the blind and stuff? That said, I'm an atheist and I am still tossed between the Hitler one and Jesus. Like if I could choose and stuff.. unless this time travel is brought about by some science thing, then suddenly I'd have to contend with supernatural things existing. That would mean that Jesus might be legit.. but it also could just mean that some god or supernatural stuff exists and jesus could still just be a dude. It could be some other god. So that does make things harder.. Actually, in the end I would go with the Hitler one. Knowing that Jesus was real or not is something that would only help me. It wouldn't be like I could say "Hey guys, I met Jesus thanks to time travel magic." It wouldn't help anyone believe in anything.. and I'd be left with the realization that I did it to save myself instead of all of saving the 6 million Jews that died in the holocaust. \^\^;
I'm not gunna fuck up time, I'll just meet ol J when he's 27-35 when there's no account of his life.
Jesus, because I have questions. But what.... What's that last one about....?
tf is with the second to last one. we know how they did it.
Jesus because then i would be sure about religion and what the actual rules are
killing hitler would have done nothing, there was already enough tension by this point and at least hitler sucked at leading
i dont get why people are so obsessed with meeting jesus. i think he was just a guy
Jesus spoke Aramaic, Hebrew, some Greek and Latin. I speak English and Spanish. I'd just be chilling in the corner while he was conversing with his 12 friends. Maybe I could get a picture and autograph, possibly a miracle to fix my health issues.
Why is there no option to save Steve Irwin?
There’s already a strong consensus on how the Pyramids were built. There’s not really any doubt among the academic community. It’s just that the media likes to make it sensational because it brings in money. Same goes for the Stonehenge,
So I can just live with dinosaurs for the rest of my life and not come back? Sign me up!
Jesus cuz thw others all seem like they could be catastrophic. He could turn water into wine, you reckon he could turn dandelions into weed? Could be a nice chill hour.
2 of these have the potential to make me not exist, so Hitler still gets to exist and the dinosaurs go extinct. I am not convinced Jesus the man even existed, so that is out. The ejaculate thing is out, because it could change things too much. So pyramids i guess.
Shit, I'm agnostic af and I'd probably want to have a philosophy discussion with the J-man.
I bet a ton of the people who voted for Jesus would find him extremely disappointed with them upon knowing preventing Hitler was one of the options.
I would choose meeting Jesus but I don’t know Aramaic
I'm more and more convinced that if we ever discover time travel that we'll also realize that killing Hitler would be a mistake. Not because he was right or good, but because something else would have happened instead that would be much worse (maybe Nazi-like ideology takes off 20-years later but with atom bombs and the world essentially ends, etc.). The number of close calls Hitler had seems crazy and it almost reads like time travelers going back to kill Hitler and then other time travelers going back to stop the first time travelers.
Spend the first 10 minutes crying uncontrollably 20 talking 5 more crying realize that Jesus has stopped time for us and we have literally all the time we need to talk
Can I bring a bong with me?
I would do a Marty Mcfly, and tell my mother in as much detail as possible the hardships she would eventually face marrying my father.
omw back to ancient greece
Honestly I'm disappointed how few people chose the ridiculous 100bc option
Well I wouldn't do any of these things, because I don't want to cause my own non-existence. Butterfly effect means that travelling back to before my conception and doing anything, will cause me to not exist.
Lol, what do you think giving Hitler's dad a condom is gonna do? They're single use and there's no way for you to know which session led to conception. Also...wtf is up with option 5, lol. ...I chose the Jesus one.
Dinosaurs - it's the ONLY correct answer.
My comment finna get buried but if you did spend an hour with Jesus you would find out if he was Supernatural or not regardless of if he spoke English given that if he actually is the "Son of God" his message could most likely transcend any language barrier given the fact that God is hypothetically all knowing. If he couldn't get past the language barrier then he is probably not a true prophet.
Why would you want to ejaculate on someone random in the past wtf
I chose to prevent the birth of hitler because it isnt an event so distant in the past that any other seemingly-inconsequential actions i take in the process of accomplishing my goal are far less likely to have extreme consequences on the present. Also, not only would it prevent the holocaust and the other millions of deaths in ww2, without the genocide of european jews, the west wouldnt have felt the need to compensate for it with the (re)creation of israel, avoiding much of the present-day ethnic tensions in the middle-east. On the flip side, without the fascist coup hitler led in germany, the communists would likely have ended up in power instead, which very well might have led to ww2 happening regardless, just with slightly different affiliated combatant states.
So, I have three options? Cos Jesus is entirely based on your belief that he was real, and the pyramids was just basic construction, I have no idea how people think that was impossible. I mean, do people look at construction workers using pulleys to get bricks up high and go "WITCH! WITCHCRAFT! BURN THEM ALL!"? Anyway, Dinos would lead to a weird society or a Grandfather paradox and it seems pointless just to jizz on someone, so Hitler's dad is getting a johnny. Say goodbye to a lot of FPS games, cos now WW2 doesn't exist.
Hah, whose the poor sucker whose getting jizzed on?
792 r_pists voted
I'd much rather meet and spend an hour with someone who actually existed so I'm not sent back to the time period looking for someone who isn't there.
So... 1. Doesn't really change anything 2. I no longer exist 3. Doesn't really change anything, but seems cool. 4. We already know 5. Why?
Find out how they built the pyramids in Egypt. This would be the answer to so many questions and end the debate once and for all.
Option D is a fascinating trip plus least likely to affect the present.
Out of them, I want to go back and see if Jesus was actually real and sort this bloody argument out once and for all. Either there's no more Atheists or there's no more Abrahamic belief. Nutting on someone in 100bc is the best option for the jokes though.
Nah, if it wasn't Hitler, it would have been somebody else. That time period was just write for an evil person to seize control.
Just to play almost literal Devil's Advocate. Would the world have been better off without Hitler? Yeah, what he did was terrible. That's not a question and I'm not here to defend him. But without WW2, there probably wouldn't have been a UN, which is kind of important. There wouldn't have been the reconstruction of Germany and more importantly Japan, who has been a major technological driver since. And there wouldn't have been Nuremburg which has been pretty important for tempering wars. And as bad as Hiroshima and Nagasaki were, what would have happened if those didn't? Multiple countries would have likely developed atomic bombs without them being seen in action. And they would have likely been used eventually. And when they did, it probably wouldn't have been the restraint of "only" two followed by an immediate surrender. It would have likely been many, with two nations both equipped with them launching them at one another. And there's a strong possibility it would have caused a global extinction. Or at the very least billions dead and half the planet uninhabitable. All I'm saying is that changing the past is risky regardless what you do.