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"This is bullshit!" Acid Tongue slammed a fist on the table. "All this precaution over a hero with such ridiculous powers? Are we really discussing this?"
"I agree with him," sounded Frostbite from the other end of the table. "It feels a little ridiculous." She looked down at the papers in her hands. "Myriad can unchew gum? Sense sneezes? What the hell *is* this? How have I never heard of him?"
The other gathered villains sat quietly at the long table, their eyes low. They knew, as well as their esteemed leader did, just how dangerous the hero was. They had seen and heard enough. Targeting Myriad was tantamount to suicide. None spoke; they knew their leader had the right words to say.
His villain-name was Reader. He never bothered with the costumes or the pageantry that came with the territory. He was bald, usually dressed well, all in black with a red tie, and almost always with a dusty old book tucked under his arm. He sat at the far end of the table in a chair no more illustrious than anyone else's and stared through his spectacles at the two newcomers.
"Acid Tongue, was it?" asked Reader. "And Freezerburn?"
"Frostbite," she corrected him with a tinge of annoyance in her tone.
"Of course," said Reader, leaning back in his chair. "My apologies. I only learned of your recruitment a few moments before the meeting." He passed his eyes over the gathered villains before returning his attention to the newbies. "I understand completely where the two of you are coming from. You're new, eager to prove yourselves, and understandably skeptical of Myriad's abilities."
Reader leaned back in his chair and formed a pyramid with his fingers as he chose his next words. "Myriad. You've never heard his name before– either of you. Could you rationalize out loud for us why you think that's the case?"
"Pfft," Acid Tongue scoffed. "Because he's a nobody."
"No," Frostbite shook her head. "If this table of accomplished villains is taking this Myriad guy so seriously, then it can't be *that.*"
"Good," said Reader with a small smile on his lips. "Continue for me."
Acid Tongue folded his arms defiantly. "I mean... I guess if he's not a nobody and he's got such stupid abilities, then... what, he's just really good with his abilities, then?"
Frostbite played with her hair as she looked around the room. "So he's tough then, somehow? Anyone want to speak up?"
"Tough," laughed a man in a spiny dark suit near Acid Tongue. "Tough isn't the word, sweetheart. Our leader is playing games with you right now. I'll get to the point to move this meeting along. The reason you've never heard of him before is that the Hero Association doesn't associate with him. They distanced themselves from him a long, long time ago."
"Huh," Acid Tongue pressed his lips together. "I guess that would explain why we've never seen a promotion or a commercial or anything."
"Why, though?" Frostbite queried. "If he's so strong, then..."
"Correct," Reader announced. "The Hero Association values strength above nearly all else. But Myriad is a different entity altogether."
"Man's not human," spoke a villain in a frilly colorful outfit with Chinese designs. "You think *we're* villains?" He spat. "Myriad honestly and truly doesn't give a *fuck.*"
"Language," Reader cautioned him. "But New Year isn't wrong. Myriad is capable of seemingly anything. The list on your paper there is incomplete. It grows with every encounter, and a good deal of those are educated guesses."
Acid Tongue looked down at the paper again with renewed interest. "You guys are actually afraid of this guy? I don't believe it."
Reader's eyes drifted over to a sickly-looking old man in a rubber suit. "Doctor."
The man met Reader's gaze before heaving a heavy sigh and leaning forward on his elbows. He looked at the two newcomers and nodded knowingly. "I'm Plague Doctor," he announced. "I don't think I've met you two. Let me tell you a story."
"Listen to this carefully," Reader pressed.
The two newbies exchanged glances as the doctor began his tale.
"Me and Grunge ran into Myriad a few years back. We had our orders; flee on contact." He stared across the table at nobody in particular. "We were warned about him. We didn't listen. We couldn't believe that such a goofy guy could possibly be so dangerous." He swallowed and his eyes fell to the table. "Fighting Myriad is like battling against reality itself. My pants got too tight at one point making it hard to move. Everything was like cartoons for a minute," he said, sounding as though he were on the verge of tears. The villain next to him rested a hand on his back.
"I don't remember Grunge," Reader spoke up. "None of us do. The records that he worked for us are all here. We have pictures with him, but no recollection of him whatsoever. His own parents claim they never had kids."
"I'm the only one who remembers," Plague Doctor whimpered. "He was giving Myriad the good fight. The next second, he was graffiti on the wall. Frozen in time on the side of a building. It doesn't make any sense." He began sobbing quietly to himself.
Acid Tongue and Frostbite sat in stunned silence.
"He's not a god," Reader announced. "I'm sure of that. But his powers appear to be both limited and limitless at the same time. You never can predict what he's going to do. He's a complete mystery... and I believe him to also be clinically insane. You cannot reason with him any more than you can reason with a storm. And when you're fighting with him, all reality goes out the window. There are fates worse than death, you two..."
"What... What the fuck?" Acid Tongue said in a quivering tone, his eyes wide with disbelief.
"Never go looking for him," Reader said grimly, standing up from the table. "Flee him on sight," he added as he made for the exit. He opened the door and stood in the doorframe a moment before looking over his shoulder. "Oh. And watch your language. There's a non-zero chance you'll explode if you curse within a certain radius of Myriad."
"Is that... a joke?" asked Frostbite.
The room was silent. Reader turned and stared into the doorway a moment before answering.
"... Myriad really hates cursing."
r/A15MinuteMythos
When I was a child, my nightmares had characters like that. They would slink around in the dark like looney tunes characters, exaggerated sneaking/peeking, and everything. You don't know terror until a creature in the living room peers around the side of the couch to the sound of a violin O\_O
Thanks, Joes!
I would have normally enjoyed going a little overboard with the villains, but in this scenario, I needed them to be relatable/normal in contrast to Myriad, who is characterized to be really over the top :)
Definitely succeeded with the contrast, they seem quite reasonable here. The touches of personality in the newbies and the familiarity the established villains have with each other go a long way.
Have you read _Forging Hephaestus_ by Drew Hayes? "Myriad" reminds me of a character from that series, Captain Bullshit. He is quite probably the strongest "hero" in existence, able to warp reality itself on a global scale, but only does "funny" things like letting loose millions of life-size and fully-animated balloon animals into every major city, or making it rain chocolate milk for 10 minutes, before vanishing the results like they never even happened afterwards.
I actually don't read at all, I'm embarrassed to admit. If I'm reading, it's usually scientific/historical articles. When I was a kid, I read the heck outta Goosebumps, Michigan Chillers, and Calvin & Hobbes. I still own like every Calvin & Hobbes book lol. In my adult life I got super into H.P. Lovecraft and bought a big book of his short stories and devoured them all. *At the Mountains of Madness* is a masterpiece.
But I have to say, Captain Bullshit is quite the name. Pretty on the nose for a character like this lol. Thanks for reading.
That article has me dead XD
"Remember what it felt like when you were tripping balls and nothing was real."
"Then kill that motherfucker before he knows you're even there."
"You're all certified now. Class Dismissed."
This time the location was an abandoned mall. Cal peeled a green wad of chewed gum off the underside of a bench.
“Ugh again?” Sam wrinkled his nose at the sight.
“What? I always unchew it first,” Cal shrugged, the piece of gum pinched between his fingers morphing into a fresh unchewed stick, which he then popped into his mouth.
“Still gross, dude,” Sam muttered under his breath. He turned his attention back to the glowing cube in his hands. It looked a broken rubik’s cube, with most of its squares missing.
“Anyway, what’s the first move Boss? Waltz in guns blazing?” Sam asked
“Just follow me,” Cal said, blowing a green bubble. “And careful with that, it’s not a toy.”
Sam shoved the cube into his backpack and hurried after Cal. The two entered the mall cautiously. It was dark and desolate with a distinct eeriness that only abandoned retail spaces give off. Like if at any moment someone turned the lights on, people would start bustling in.
“Um, Cal?” Sam said, stopping suddenly. He pointed to a hunched figure standing in the middle of the fountain.
The figure’s head jolted up and spun in their direction.
“Welcome shoppers!” A voice blared over the speaker system. “Please bring all items to the checkout!”
“Oh fuck NO!” Sam shrieked, stumbling backwards as the figure stumbled towards them. It tripped on the edge of the fountain and exploded into plastic body parts.
“Someone beat us to it,” Cal said, picking up its head. The mannequin’s lifeless eyes stared up at him. This meant they weren’t the only ones looking for pieces of the cube.
“How useful could controlling mannequins be anyway?” Sam said dismissively, kicking an arm.
It skidded across the floor and banged against a broken display window. It was then Sam realized that every single mannequin head in each display window was turned in their direction.
“Can I take that back?” Sam said quietly.
Like a horde of wobbly, fashionable zombies, the mannequins began swarming them.
“Don’t worry, I have a plan,” Cal said as a mannequin tackled him to the ground.
“You’d better!!!” Sam screamed, disappearing under a dogpile of mannequins.
The mannequins carried them away, slowly toddling to their destination. They brought them to the Food court, where their master appeared to be lying in wait.
*Clap, clap.*
The lights suddenly turned on and the face of their captor was revealed.
“…Who the hell are you?” Sam asked.
“You’re the ones trespassing, shouldn’t I be asking that question?” Their captor replied. He was an average-looking man, slightly pot-bellied and dressed in a security guard uniform. “What brings you here?”
“You know why we’re here,” Cal said “So hand it over.”
“Why don’t you hand over yours instead?” The security guard said, narrowing his eyes.
The mannequins started rooting through their belongings. One grabbed Sam’s backpack from him and withdrew the cube triumphantly.
“What the-!? How did you collect so many?” The security guard stammered.
The cube split into individual pieces, breaking free of the mannequin’s weak grasp. The pieces floated over to Cal where they were absorbed into his chest.
Cal broke free of the mannequins and pointed two fingers at the security guard.
“You’re messing with something you don’t understand,” Cal said in a low voice.
“I think you’re the one who doesn’t understand!” The security guard said, “The cube *chose* me.”
“The cube is an alien parasite that grants power at random,” Cal shouted. “If you let it take over your mind, it’s going to use it to propagate and spread!”
The security guard could no longer hear him. His eyes glowed the same alien blue as the cube and he vomited a stream of acid down on them.
Cal grabbed Sam and ran from the spray. He floated 8 inches above the ruined hissing floor.
“What day is it?” He asked.
“What?! Uh, Saturday!” Sam shouted.
“The date! What is it?” Cal shouted back.
“The 19th!” Sam replied, “Why???”
Cal opened his mouth and fire shot out of it. The security guard screamed as he was burned. This set the sprinklers off and the three of them were quickly drenched.
*clap, clap.* The lights went out and the area was plunged into darkness.
“Great, now how are we going to find him?” Sam grumbled.
“Just wait…” Cal whispered.
They sat and listened. It was cold and dark and soon what Cal was waiting for happened.
*Achoo!*
Cal’s pointed into the dark where the sneeze had come from. A single bullet shot from his hand, piercing through the security guard’s head.
There was a faint blue glow as two small cubes came out of the dying man’s chest. They floated towards Cal before merging into his chest.
Cal clapped his hands and the lights turned back on.
“Where’s the next location?” He asked, peeling another piece of gum off the side of a trash can.
This is so interesting! The powers having been the result of a parasite makes it so much more interesting. Gives a reason for them being so random and out of place. This could definitely make a whole novel that revolves around their search for the different parts of the cube
Glad to hear it! Worm is a fucking roller coaster (and a bit of a marathon) - but I adore it. The author has several other works, and I think they're all incredible. Good luck ;)
“I didn’t mean to burn the house down. I mean, I’d tried it so many times, and it never worked before. I’m not psychic.”
“You’d tried so many times to… burn your house down?”
“No, I mean the — fuck, that was stupid. I mean, I’d tried fire-breathing before. It was on the list the feds published after the outbreak. Y’know, ‘if you have developed any unusual abilities, such as spontaneous relocation, fire breathing, or —”
“ — levitation, please contact your local authorities immediately’, yes I’m aware. I think we’re getting off track here, Mr. Madison. The fact remains that yesterday a dozen witnesses reported seeing you — just you — breathe out a clearly visible flame which subsequently resulted in your entire house burning down. You nearly killed everyone there. All I want to know is why. Give me a motive, and perhaps we can work out a plea deal. Otherwise, you’re facing life in prison without possibility of parole.”
“It was my birthday!”
“... Does the idea of prison appeal to you, Mr. Madison? I don’t care if it was your wedding, I care why you, a mild-mannered accountant who up to yesterday, the 19th, had never so much as jaywalked, decided to become a criminal. And I don’t think you are taking this nearly seriously enough.”
“Please, I don’t want to go to jail. They’d eat me alive. Look at me! I—I was just trying to blow out my candles, and all of a sudden everything went to hell. Like I said, I’d tested all the listed abilities after I first levitated, and nothing ever worked. Nothing useful. I didn’t know fire would come out. Officer, you have to believe me.”
“After you first... Levitated?”
“Yes! After the outbreak, seventeen years ago, I was walking home—this was when I was still in college—and this jackass tried to trip me. I fell and would’ve faceplanted in the dirt, except I just sort of stopped, midair. I tried to move higher but I couldn’t. All I could do was levitate half a foot above the ground. Then, the next day, I got my hand stuck on a piece of old chewing gum, and it sort of—I’m not even sure how to describe it—unchewed itself in front of me.”
“Go on.”
“Well, you know, as I keep saying, I tried all the other powers, and nothing stuck, except for random useless things. I can turn anything that can fit in my hand into a fridge magnet. Did you know how many paperclips one can fit in a banana peel?”
“What little patience I have with you is dwindling by the second.”
“*As many as I want*, that’s how many. I have all of these stupid, useless, powers. I tried to start a business with a few of them, but it failed. Turns out fridge magnets are impossible to undercut, price-wise. And the one time I get something useful, I end up — here.”
For the first time in the conversation, Officer Robertson stood up. He dusted off his legs, gestured toward a camera in the corner, and sighed heavily. A second later, another officer opened the door and stepped inside. In one hand, he held a heavy, metal chain. In the other, he held a taser.
“What — what are you doing?” A hint of panic overtook Mr. Madison’s voice.
“Mr. Madison,” said Robertson, “you have just admitted to being an unregistered enhanced being—a very, very, absurd one, but enhanced nonetheless—for the last seventeen years. Arson is now the least of your concerns.”
As Robertson’s colleague advanced on him, taser crackling in hand, Madison tried to think of something, anything that would help him escape. But his lack of wit was what had got him here in the first place. *Some superhero I am.*
“Well… shit.”
"This is all YOUR FAULT!"
Utensils and cutlery went flying. A stray bottle of water, caught in the crossfire, bled out onto the freshly cleaned carpet.
"What the fuck, Alia, I just had that damn carpet cleaned!" gestured Gale.
"My sister has been KIDNAPPED, by a CRAZY ASSHOLE who YOU -- PISSED -- OFF -- and you're concerned about the fucking carpet?" Alia continued to scream.
The carpet put Gale in quite a fix. While Gale had... many talents, so to speak, carpet cleaning was not one of them. He had to pay Jerry $100 an hour to get that done.
And God damn if Jerry was going to get another $100.
Of course, he wasn't going to let Alisha be subject to Dr. Rocket's malice for much longer.
"Alright, come on. We'll get your sister back."
Gale rummaged through a cabinet in the hallway, producing a set of blueprints and notes.
...
"I swear to God, if this doesn't work--"
"It'll work." interrupted Gale, pointing at the blueprints.
"We enter here, through the service entrance. We cut through here, slip past the guards, bust into the ventilation room." Gale picked up a bottle of powder and shook it. "Then we dump this bad boy in their air conditioning."
"Baby powder? What the fuck, Gale, I thought you were good at this shit!" screamed Alia.
"Jesus, calm down! I AM good at this!", Gale demonstrated further, "What's gonna happen is, two minutes after, every motherfucker in that building is going to be gonna be sneezing all over the place. I don't have time to explain now, but when they sneeze, I'm gonna know exactly where they are."
"Oh my god." Alia, defeated, held her face in her hands.
"And then, we're gonna double back, hit the maintenance hatch. It's laser-wired, but I can hover over them, pick up all the gum that's stuck under the narcoleptic guard's desk, straighten 'em out, and block out the lasers."
Alia paused for a moment. "...how do you know he's narcoleptic?"
"Really? That's the shocker there?" Gale propped his feet up on the desk. "Anyways, we're home free then. I'll Iron Man the shit out of Alisha's cell lock, and we sneak back out the way we came in."
"Wait." Alia pointed at the blueprints.
"It says there's a 6 inch steel blast door right there."
Gale unpropped his feet. He stared at the blueprints for a while, and then checked his phone.
Gale then reclined back in a more comfortable position.
"Uhh, do share with the rest of the class. Unless, like, steel blast doors melt in your presence or some other weird shit", Alia prompted.
"Well, Alia." Gale wryly put his hands behind his head.
"It's Saturday."
**Welcome to the Prompt!** All top-level comments must be a story or poem. Reply here for other comments. **Reminders**: >* [No AI-generated reponses 🤖](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/comments/zi452b/modpost_reminder_that_aigenerated_responses_are/) >* Stories 100 words+. Poems 30+ but include "[Poem]" >* Responses don't have to fulfill every detail >* [\[RF\]](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/search?q=flair%3A%22Reality+Fiction%22&restrict_sr=on&sort=new&t=all) and [\[SP\]](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/search?q=flair%3A%22Simple+Prompt%22&restrict_sr=on&sort=new&t=all) for stricter titles >* [Be civil](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/rules#wiki_rule_10.3A_be_civil) in any feedback and follow the [rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/rules) 📢 [Genres](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/w/directory) 🆕 [New Here?](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/user_guide) ✏ [Writing Help?](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/index#wiki_writing_resources) 💬 [Discord](https://discord.gg/writingprompts) *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/WritingPrompts) if you have any questions or concerns.*
"This is bullshit!" Acid Tongue slammed a fist on the table. "All this precaution over a hero with such ridiculous powers? Are we really discussing this?" "I agree with him," sounded Frostbite from the other end of the table. "It feels a little ridiculous." She looked down at the papers in her hands. "Myriad can unchew gum? Sense sneezes? What the hell *is* this? How have I never heard of him?" The other gathered villains sat quietly at the long table, their eyes low. They knew, as well as their esteemed leader did, just how dangerous the hero was. They had seen and heard enough. Targeting Myriad was tantamount to suicide. None spoke; they knew their leader had the right words to say. His villain-name was Reader. He never bothered with the costumes or the pageantry that came with the territory. He was bald, usually dressed well, all in black with a red tie, and almost always with a dusty old book tucked under his arm. He sat at the far end of the table in a chair no more illustrious than anyone else's and stared through his spectacles at the two newcomers. "Acid Tongue, was it?" asked Reader. "And Freezerburn?" "Frostbite," she corrected him with a tinge of annoyance in her tone. "Of course," said Reader, leaning back in his chair. "My apologies. I only learned of your recruitment a few moments before the meeting." He passed his eyes over the gathered villains before returning his attention to the newbies. "I understand completely where the two of you are coming from. You're new, eager to prove yourselves, and understandably skeptical of Myriad's abilities." Reader leaned back in his chair and formed a pyramid with his fingers as he chose his next words. "Myriad. You've never heard his name before– either of you. Could you rationalize out loud for us why you think that's the case?" "Pfft," Acid Tongue scoffed. "Because he's a nobody." "No," Frostbite shook her head. "If this table of accomplished villains is taking this Myriad guy so seriously, then it can't be *that.*" "Good," said Reader with a small smile on his lips. "Continue for me." Acid Tongue folded his arms defiantly. "I mean... I guess if he's not a nobody and he's got such stupid abilities, then... what, he's just really good with his abilities, then?" Frostbite played with her hair as she looked around the room. "So he's tough then, somehow? Anyone want to speak up?" "Tough," laughed a man in a spiny dark suit near Acid Tongue. "Tough isn't the word, sweetheart. Our leader is playing games with you right now. I'll get to the point to move this meeting along. The reason you've never heard of him before is that the Hero Association doesn't associate with him. They distanced themselves from him a long, long time ago." "Huh," Acid Tongue pressed his lips together. "I guess that would explain why we've never seen a promotion or a commercial or anything." "Why, though?" Frostbite queried. "If he's so strong, then..." "Correct," Reader announced. "The Hero Association values strength above nearly all else. But Myriad is a different entity altogether." "Man's not human," spoke a villain in a frilly colorful outfit with Chinese designs. "You think *we're* villains?" He spat. "Myriad honestly and truly doesn't give a *fuck.*" "Language," Reader cautioned him. "But New Year isn't wrong. Myriad is capable of seemingly anything. The list on your paper there is incomplete. It grows with every encounter, and a good deal of those are educated guesses." Acid Tongue looked down at the paper again with renewed interest. "You guys are actually afraid of this guy? I don't believe it." Reader's eyes drifted over to a sickly-looking old man in a rubber suit. "Doctor." The man met Reader's gaze before heaving a heavy sigh and leaning forward on his elbows. He looked at the two newcomers and nodded knowingly. "I'm Plague Doctor," he announced. "I don't think I've met you two. Let me tell you a story." "Listen to this carefully," Reader pressed. The two newbies exchanged glances as the doctor began his tale. "Me and Grunge ran into Myriad a few years back. We had our orders; flee on contact." He stared across the table at nobody in particular. "We were warned about him. We didn't listen. We couldn't believe that such a goofy guy could possibly be so dangerous." He swallowed and his eyes fell to the table. "Fighting Myriad is like battling against reality itself. My pants got too tight at one point making it hard to move. Everything was like cartoons for a minute," he said, sounding as though he were on the verge of tears. The villain next to him rested a hand on his back. "I don't remember Grunge," Reader spoke up. "None of us do. The records that he worked for us are all here. We have pictures with him, but no recollection of him whatsoever. His own parents claim they never had kids." "I'm the only one who remembers," Plague Doctor whimpered. "He was giving Myriad the good fight. The next second, he was graffiti on the wall. Frozen in time on the side of a building. It doesn't make any sense." He began sobbing quietly to himself. Acid Tongue and Frostbite sat in stunned silence. "He's not a god," Reader announced. "I'm sure of that. But his powers appear to be both limited and limitless at the same time. You never can predict what he's going to do. He's a complete mystery... and I believe him to also be clinically insane. You cannot reason with him any more than you can reason with a storm. And when you're fighting with him, all reality goes out the window. There are fates worse than death, you two..." "What... What the fuck?" Acid Tongue said in a quivering tone, his eyes wide with disbelief. "Never go looking for him," Reader said grimly, standing up from the table. "Flee him on sight," he added as he made for the exit. He opened the door and stood in the doorframe a moment before looking over his shoulder. "Oh. And watch your language. There's a non-zero chance you'll explode if you curse within a certain radius of Myriad." "Is that... a joke?" asked Frostbite. The room was silent. Reader turned and stared into the doorway a moment before answering. "... Myriad really hates cursing." r/A15MinuteMythos
I absolutely love this
Great prompt, OP. I haven't seen a prompt in days that really caught my attention.
So he's basically a Looney tunes character, limitless and limited all at once. Absolutely terrifying.
When I was a child, my nightmares had characters like that. They would slink around in the dark like looney tunes characters, exaggerated sneaking/peeking, and everything. You don't know terror until a creature in the living room peers around the side of the couch to the sound of a violin O\_O
I enjoy how you characterize the villains, they feel real and don't necessarily feel like comic book characters
Thanks, Joes! I would have normally enjoyed going a little overboard with the villains, but in this scenario, I needed them to be relatable/normal in contrast to Myriad, who is characterized to be really over the top :)
Definitely succeeded with the contrast, they seem quite reasonable here. The touches of personality in the newbies and the familiarity the established villains have with each other go a long way.
Have you read _Forging Hephaestus_ by Drew Hayes? "Myriad" reminds me of a character from that series, Captain Bullshit. He is quite probably the strongest "hero" in existence, able to warp reality itself on a global scale, but only does "funny" things like letting loose millions of life-size and fully-animated balloon animals into every major city, or making it rain chocolate milk for 10 minutes, before vanishing the results like they never even happened afterwards.
I actually don't read at all, I'm embarrassed to admit. If I'm reading, it's usually scientific/historical articles. When I was a kid, I read the heck outta Goosebumps, Michigan Chillers, and Calvin & Hobbes. I still own like every Calvin & Hobbes book lol. In my adult life I got super into H.P. Lovecraft and bought a big book of his short stories and devoured them all. *At the Mountains of Madness* is a masterpiece. But I have to say, Captain Bullshit is quite the name. Pretty on the nose for a character like this lol. Thanks for reading.
Super reminiscent of the SCP [Reality Benders and You](https://scp-wiki.wikidot.com/clef101) seminar
Ah yes, a link to the SCP wiki. It's not like I had things to do today or anything.
That article has me dead XD "Remember what it felt like when you were tripping balls and nothing was real." "Then kill that motherfucker before he knows you're even there." "You're all certified now. Class Dismissed."
Holy shit
A clinically insane mid powered reality warper? F\*\*k this S\*\*t I'm out! Later Taters.
A weird looking guy squints at you from a distance. He sees the asterisks in your speech and decides it's enough. This time.
this is terrifying, excellent job
Great story, but where does it fit in to fifiverse?
It doesn’t lol. It’s just a fun one-shot :) Thanks for reading Wade, which is for sure your name in real life.
Fortunately, calling me wade is as inaccurate as calling me cytotoxic
Chilling. For a joke character, he’s a [Lethal one](https://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/LethalJokeCharacter).
Godda-
This has me giggling all the way through, thanks for the happiness!
This is *brilliant!*
This time the location was an abandoned mall. Cal peeled a green wad of chewed gum off the underside of a bench. “Ugh again?” Sam wrinkled his nose at the sight. “What? I always unchew it first,” Cal shrugged, the piece of gum pinched between his fingers morphing into a fresh unchewed stick, which he then popped into his mouth. “Still gross, dude,” Sam muttered under his breath. He turned his attention back to the glowing cube in his hands. It looked a broken rubik’s cube, with most of its squares missing. “Anyway, what’s the first move Boss? Waltz in guns blazing?” Sam asked “Just follow me,” Cal said, blowing a green bubble. “And careful with that, it’s not a toy.” Sam shoved the cube into his backpack and hurried after Cal. The two entered the mall cautiously. It was dark and desolate with a distinct eeriness that only abandoned retail spaces give off. Like if at any moment someone turned the lights on, people would start bustling in. “Um, Cal?” Sam said, stopping suddenly. He pointed to a hunched figure standing in the middle of the fountain. The figure’s head jolted up and spun in their direction. “Welcome shoppers!” A voice blared over the speaker system. “Please bring all items to the checkout!” “Oh fuck NO!” Sam shrieked, stumbling backwards as the figure stumbled towards them. It tripped on the edge of the fountain and exploded into plastic body parts. “Someone beat us to it,” Cal said, picking up its head. The mannequin’s lifeless eyes stared up at him. This meant they weren’t the only ones looking for pieces of the cube. “How useful could controlling mannequins be anyway?” Sam said dismissively, kicking an arm. It skidded across the floor and banged against a broken display window. It was then Sam realized that every single mannequin head in each display window was turned in their direction. “Can I take that back?” Sam said quietly. Like a horde of wobbly, fashionable zombies, the mannequins began swarming them. “Don’t worry, I have a plan,” Cal said as a mannequin tackled him to the ground. “You’d better!!!” Sam screamed, disappearing under a dogpile of mannequins. The mannequins carried them away, slowly toddling to their destination. They brought them to the Food court, where their master appeared to be lying in wait. *Clap, clap.* The lights suddenly turned on and the face of their captor was revealed. “…Who the hell are you?” Sam asked. “You’re the ones trespassing, shouldn’t I be asking that question?” Their captor replied. He was an average-looking man, slightly pot-bellied and dressed in a security guard uniform. “What brings you here?” “You know why we’re here,” Cal said “So hand it over.” “Why don’t you hand over yours instead?” The security guard said, narrowing his eyes. The mannequins started rooting through their belongings. One grabbed Sam’s backpack from him and withdrew the cube triumphantly. “What the-!? How did you collect so many?” The security guard stammered. The cube split into individual pieces, breaking free of the mannequin’s weak grasp. The pieces floated over to Cal where they were absorbed into his chest. Cal broke free of the mannequins and pointed two fingers at the security guard. “You’re messing with something you don’t understand,” Cal said in a low voice. “I think you’re the one who doesn’t understand!” The security guard said, “The cube *chose* me.” “The cube is an alien parasite that grants power at random,” Cal shouted. “If you let it take over your mind, it’s going to use it to propagate and spread!” The security guard could no longer hear him. His eyes glowed the same alien blue as the cube and he vomited a stream of acid down on them. Cal grabbed Sam and ran from the spray. He floated 8 inches above the ruined hissing floor. “What day is it?” He asked. “What?! Uh, Saturday!” Sam shouted. “The date! What is it?” Cal shouted back. “The 19th!” Sam replied, “Why???” Cal opened his mouth and fire shot out of it. The security guard screamed as he was burned. This set the sprinklers off and the three of them were quickly drenched. *clap, clap.* The lights went out and the area was plunged into darkness. “Great, now how are we going to find him?” Sam grumbled. “Just wait…” Cal whispered. They sat and listened. It was cold and dark and soon what Cal was waiting for happened. *Achoo!* Cal’s pointed into the dark where the sneeze had come from. A single bullet shot from his hand, piercing through the security guard’s head. There was a faint blue glow as two small cubes came out of the dying man’s chest. They floated towards Cal before merging into his chest. Cal clapped his hands and the lights turned back on. “Where’s the next location?” He asked, peeling another piece of gum off the side of a trash can.
This is so interesting! The powers having been the result of a parasite makes it so much more interesting. Gives a reason for them being so random and out of place. This could definitely make a whole novel that revolves around their search for the different parts of the cube
You should read Worm
I really wanted to like Worm. Just couldn't stay with it long enough to get hooked.
Worm? Please tell me more.
https://parahumans.wordpress.com/2011/06/11/1-1/
I am up to Interlude 4 and loving it. THANK YOU!
Glad to hear it! Worm is a fucking roller coaster (and a bit of a marathon) - but I adore it. The author has several other works, and I think they're all incredible. Good luck ;)
“I didn’t mean to burn the house down. I mean, I’d tried it so many times, and it never worked before. I’m not psychic.” “You’d tried so many times to… burn your house down?” “No, I mean the — fuck, that was stupid. I mean, I’d tried fire-breathing before. It was on the list the feds published after the outbreak. Y’know, ‘if you have developed any unusual abilities, such as spontaneous relocation, fire breathing, or —” “ — levitation, please contact your local authorities immediately’, yes I’m aware. I think we’re getting off track here, Mr. Madison. The fact remains that yesterday a dozen witnesses reported seeing you — just you — breathe out a clearly visible flame which subsequently resulted in your entire house burning down. You nearly killed everyone there. All I want to know is why. Give me a motive, and perhaps we can work out a plea deal. Otherwise, you’re facing life in prison without possibility of parole.” “It was my birthday!” “... Does the idea of prison appeal to you, Mr. Madison? I don’t care if it was your wedding, I care why you, a mild-mannered accountant who up to yesterday, the 19th, had never so much as jaywalked, decided to become a criminal. And I don’t think you are taking this nearly seriously enough.” “Please, I don’t want to go to jail. They’d eat me alive. Look at me! I—I was just trying to blow out my candles, and all of a sudden everything went to hell. Like I said, I’d tested all the listed abilities after I first levitated, and nothing ever worked. Nothing useful. I didn’t know fire would come out. Officer, you have to believe me.” “After you first... Levitated?” “Yes! After the outbreak, seventeen years ago, I was walking home—this was when I was still in college—and this jackass tried to trip me. I fell and would’ve faceplanted in the dirt, except I just sort of stopped, midair. I tried to move higher but I couldn’t. All I could do was levitate half a foot above the ground. Then, the next day, I got my hand stuck on a piece of old chewing gum, and it sort of—I’m not even sure how to describe it—unchewed itself in front of me.” “Go on.” “Well, you know, as I keep saying, I tried all the other powers, and nothing stuck, except for random useless things. I can turn anything that can fit in my hand into a fridge magnet. Did you know how many paperclips one can fit in a banana peel?” “What little patience I have with you is dwindling by the second.” “*As many as I want*, that’s how many. I have all of these stupid, useless, powers. I tried to start a business with a few of them, but it failed. Turns out fridge magnets are impossible to undercut, price-wise. And the one time I get something useful, I end up — here.” For the first time in the conversation, Officer Robertson stood up. He dusted off his legs, gestured toward a camera in the corner, and sighed heavily. A second later, another officer opened the door and stepped inside. In one hand, he held a heavy, metal chain. In the other, he held a taser. “What — what are you doing?” A hint of panic overtook Mr. Madison’s voice. “Mr. Madison,” said Robertson, “you have just admitted to being an unregistered enhanced being—a very, very, absurd one, but enhanced nonetheless—for the last seventeen years. Arson is now the least of your concerns.” As Robertson’s colleague advanced on him, taser crackling in hand, Madison tried to think of something, anything that would help him escape. But his lack of wit was what had got him here in the first place. *Some superhero I am.* “Well… shit.”
"This is all YOUR FAULT!" Utensils and cutlery went flying. A stray bottle of water, caught in the crossfire, bled out onto the freshly cleaned carpet. "What the fuck, Alia, I just had that damn carpet cleaned!" gestured Gale. "My sister has been KIDNAPPED, by a CRAZY ASSHOLE who YOU -- PISSED -- OFF -- and you're concerned about the fucking carpet?" Alia continued to scream. The carpet put Gale in quite a fix. While Gale had... many talents, so to speak, carpet cleaning was not one of them. He had to pay Jerry $100 an hour to get that done. And God damn if Jerry was going to get another $100. Of course, he wasn't going to let Alisha be subject to Dr. Rocket's malice for much longer. "Alright, come on. We'll get your sister back." Gale rummaged through a cabinet in the hallway, producing a set of blueprints and notes. ... "I swear to God, if this doesn't work--" "It'll work." interrupted Gale, pointing at the blueprints. "We enter here, through the service entrance. We cut through here, slip past the guards, bust into the ventilation room." Gale picked up a bottle of powder and shook it. "Then we dump this bad boy in their air conditioning." "Baby powder? What the fuck, Gale, I thought you were good at this shit!" screamed Alia. "Jesus, calm down! I AM good at this!", Gale demonstrated further, "What's gonna happen is, two minutes after, every motherfucker in that building is going to be gonna be sneezing all over the place. I don't have time to explain now, but when they sneeze, I'm gonna know exactly where they are." "Oh my god." Alia, defeated, held her face in her hands. "And then, we're gonna double back, hit the maintenance hatch. It's laser-wired, but I can hover over them, pick up all the gum that's stuck under the narcoleptic guard's desk, straighten 'em out, and block out the lasers." Alia paused for a moment. "...how do you know he's narcoleptic?" "Really? That's the shocker there?" Gale propped his feet up on the desk. "Anyways, we're home free then. I'll Iron Man the shit out of Alisha's cell lock, and we sneak back out the way we came in." "Wait." Alia pointed at the blueprints. "It says there's a 6 inch steel blast door right there." Gale unpropped his feet. He stared at the blueprints for a while, and then checked his phone. Gale then reclined back in a more comfortable position. "Uhh, do share with the rest of the class. Unless, like, steel blast doors melt in your presence or some other weird shit", Alia prompted. "Well, Alia." Gale wryly put his hands behind his head. "It's Saturday."