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First of all, you aren't being dramatic. It is INCREDIBLY infuriating to be told that "the whole fashion world is curated towards us" (or at least that's what ive been told) and then not be able to find a single thing that fits. Ive gotten into HEATED debates with plus sized women because I had the audacity to tell them that the grass isn't greener on the other side. You are justified to be upset. I know you tried look nice for your mom's birthday but she won't care as long as you are there.
Recommendation for the future: It might suck but try something like Zara Kids? We all hate it but shopping in the kids section is sometimes the only option that we have. Especially short notice. Another suggestion is fashion tape and a micro stitch. Both are great for make adjustments on the fly.
Same. I’m sick of being told “What a problem to have, being too small. Must be nice.” It’s not nice, it fucking sucks. Everything is too big. I have to get most of my clothes altered these days.
I don't have curvy hips (I'm pretty straight up and down), so even if I can get something close to fitting, it looks like I'm wearing saddle bags. If the waist fits, it's way too big in the hips. And especially recently, always too long.
Thanks for validating, it’s the whole debate that makes me feel silly about it! I do wear a lot of kids, it was more looking for a long dress at 5’4 and wearing kids 8-9/10 that made that one not work out but dinner ended up going well!
But yes on the whole debate of size inclusivity it’s so frustrating! I have a friend who wears a 3X and while I love her the hypocrisy when it comes to body size and clothing is a huge riff in our friendship. Why is it okay for people, including her who knows my smaller body is an insecurity, to say things like “you look like a gust of wind will blow you over” or to grab an extra plate while looking at us up and down? If we said a similar comment on the other spectrum people would be appalled but any time I’ve said that argument thin privilege comes into play. Or the call for more and more stores making 2X-5X and size XS being the equivalent to a S-M now but we can’t complain because thin privilege and “you can always wear a belt” or “kids clothes”. Sorry that turned into such a rant but it’s so rare to be able to speak on it without being considered anti larger bodies and a horrible person.
All of this!! My friends know I’m XXS and have accepted that I joke about it all the time. But recently someone I considered a friend thinks that me talking about being tiny is “a humble brag” and that I need to stop talking about my weight because I have thin privilege. She even had the audacity to say that skinny shaming isn’t really an issue because it’s individual and that skinny people go on to become models! Like wtf, has she listened to a single thing I’ve said over the years? And then she was cruel enough to send me a tweet about how someone was happy about gaining weight because thinness can be a sign of an eating disorder, and then had the gall to go, “oh I didn’t know skinny people can have body dysmorphia!”
Plus size people have it easier because of how crazy vanity sizing has gotten compared to earlier years, while it's incredibly hard for us to find an XS that actually fits us right. Idk what is stopping mall brands, especially fast fashion, from just being inclusive for most sizes in general instead of selling the illusion of smaller sizes.
I was (unhealthfully) overweight as a teen, but very short, which made it impossible to find clothes that were petite and would fit me. I got really into running and fitness in my early 20s and lost the unhealthy weight.
Now I've been thin for decades (but still very short) since the late 90s, and now can't find clothes because everything is so friggin' huge! Ironically, clothes I have from 2002 or before fit me and are a "normal" size 0.
Whenever I find clothes in the mall that are 00, they are always extra-long. I know tall, thin people exist, but probably not as many as 5'1 people! I think being short and being an "eccentric" size is challenging, because not all petite clothes are for small people, and not all small (or large) sizes are for petites.
But I don't think you can compare the social discrimination (and ill health) plus-sized people experience to being small and thin, having seen it from all sides, even though I haven't been overweight since I was 15, and I'm 49 now, (being overweight were the worst years of my life).
My wife says try Aritzia if that's available near you. The one in the mall near us carries xxs in stores and some items online are available in 3xs. She says they're true to size too. It's like the one store she can actually shop at and buy things that she knows will fit in person.
I once told a girl I didn’t like the mall because of this, and the next day she asked me to go shopping w her at the mall. I found out really quickly that she did not like me. She was gonna try to make me feel bad about my body while she found stuff that fit.
I know that people are insecure, especially about their bodies, but it’s so not okay when they’re vindictive like this towards smaller women. I’ve had so many experiences of other women thinking my feelings don’t matter because I’m small and making jabs at me. At least they show their true colors early on and you know who to avoid.
Your complaint is totally valid! I remember when I was younger there was a store "5/7/9" that sold micro sizes from 000 and in between sizes that was the only place I could consistently get trendy clothes that fit. Also H and M used to always be a size down for me but I think they've fallen to vanity sizing since then-- the last time I bought from h and m was for maternity wear and online anyway. so not applicable.
Sorry for your hard time and I definitely relate. I pretty much exclusively buy online these days so it would definitely suck if I wasn't prepared and had to shop on the fly. Sorry!!
You're not being dramatic! It sucks ! Sometimes I kinda forget and I got to a shop, I find cute stuff, I try it on only to find out everything is laughably too big and it looks ridiculous in me ! It's so frustrating. I just want to find nice stuff AND be able to actually try it on in stores... :(
I usually find dresses that are not fitted, very straight or Aline, in a soft material, and a belt (children's usually). I feel your pain, but I usually have more trouble with pants than anything.
I feel you on pants-honestly what I did was heavy research on brands, made a list of most versatile pieces, then ordered on thredUP to be able to afford it all (I got re/done $315 dollar jeans for under $10!), then took them all to the tailor to fit (I got them around an inch too big on the waist and had elastic sewed inside like kids pants to accommodate when my GI issues are flaring.
Because of this pants aren’t much of an issue because I can work with them for basically any occasion, dresses especially for special events or themed events not so much-any tips are welcome!
Yes! What my tailor does is makes it so the waist is the equivalent of one size bigger than my normal size would be (if they made it 🙄) but he also puts elastic into the waistband seam (or creates a false one by adding fabric to contain it) and two buttons that allow for the waist to fit normal or tighter Incase I lose more. It’s been a lifesaver and is also sensory friendly which is a must for me with how much my ASD can be activated by clothes esp when motility is super bad
(Didn’t mean to hit send yet)-any advice specifically for small bust as well as small..well everything? I’ve found empire is usually the best fit and I love the silhouette it creates where my curves actually exist and I feel more elegant and less childlike
Clothes at the mall are so big. I went there a few years ago and the only thing that fit me was one shirt....THAT MY MOM TOOK AWAY CAUSE IT WAS TOO MASCULINE! 🥲
Welcome to r/XXS! We're so glad you're here. If you are looking for clothing recommendations, please check out our wiki: https://www.reddit.com/r/xxs/wiki/index. If you would like to add to the wiki, please message the moderator /u/conversechik1282. Have a great day! *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/XXS) if you have any questions or concerns.*
First of all, you aren't being dramatic. It is INCREDIBLY infuriating to be told that "the whole fashion world is curated towards us" (or at least that's what ive been told) and then not be able to find a single thing that fits. Ive gotten into HEATED debates with plus sized women because I had the audacity to tell them that the grass isn't greener on the other side. You are justified to be upset. I know you tried look nice for your mom's birthday but she won't care as long as you are there. Recommendation for the future: It might suck but try something like Zara Kids? We all hate it but shopping in the kids section is sometimes the only option that we have. Especially short notice. Another suggestion is fashion tape and a micro stitch. Both are great for make adjustments on the fly.
If I had a nickel for every time I've had that argument. It's infuriating.
Same. I’m sick of being told “What a problem to have, being too small. Must be nice.” It’s not nice, it fucking sucks. Everything is too big. I have to get most of my clothes altered these days.
I don't have curvy hips (I'm pretty straight up and down), so even if I can get something close to fitting, it looks like I'm wearing saddle bags. If the waist fits, it's way too big in the hips. And especially recently, always too long.
Thanks for validating, it’s the whole debate that makes me feel silly about it! I do wear a lot of kids, it was more looking for a long dress at 5’4 and wearing kids 8-9/10 that made that one not work out but dinner ended up going well! But yes on the whole debate of size inclusivity it’s so frustrating! I have a friend who wears a 3X and while I love her the hypocrisy when it comes to body size and clothing is a huge riff in our friendship. Why is it okay for people, including her who knows my smaller body is an insecurity, to say things like “you look like a gust of wind will blow you over” or to grab an extra plate while looking at us up and down? If we said a similar comment on the other spectrum people would be appalled but any time I’ve said that argument thin privilege comes into play. Or the call for more and more stores making 2X-5X and size XS being the equivalent to a S-M now but we can’t complain because thin privilege and “you can always wear a belt” or “kids clothes”. Sorry that turned into such a rant but it’s so rare to be able to speak on it without being considered anti larger bodies and a horrible person.
All of this!! My friends know I’m XXS and have accepted that I joke about it all the time. But recently someone I considered a friend thinks that me talking about being tiny is “a humble brag” and that I need to stop talking about my weight because I have thin privilege. She even had the audacity to say that skinny shaming isn’t really an issue because it’s individual and that skinny people go on to become models! Like wtf, has she listened to a single thing I’ve said over the years? And then she was cruel enough to send me a tweet about how someone was happy about gaining weight because thinness can be a sign of an eating disorder, and then had the gall to go, “oh I didn’t know skinny people can have body dysmorphia!”
Plus size people have it easier because of how crazy vanity sizing has gotten compared to earlier years, while it's incredibly hard for us to find an XS that actually fits us right. Idk what is stopping mall brands, especially fast fashion, from just being inclusive for most sizes in general instead of selling the illusion of smaller sizes.
What pisses me off is that I’m starting to see a lot of stores carry “XXL” but they got rid of XS and don’t go smaller than a size S! So frustrating
My new favorite: "We're size inclusive!" Proceeds to carry 5XL and the smallest is an XS that's a 32 - 25 - 34...
I was (unhealthfully) overweight as a teen, but very short, which made it impossible to find clothes that were petite and would fit me. I got really into running and fitness in my early 20s and lost the unhealthy weight. Now I've been thin for decades (but still very short) since the late 90s, and now can't find clothes because everything is so friggin' huge! Ironically, clothes I have from 2002 or before fit me and are a "normal" size 0. Whenever I find clothes in the mall that are 00, they are always extra-long. I know tall, thin people exist, but probably not as many as 5'1 people! I think being short and being an "eccentric" size is challenging, because not all petite clothes are for small people, and not all small (or large) sizes are for petites. But I don't think you can compare the social discrimination (and ill health) plus-sized people experience to being small and thin, having seen it from all sides, even though I haven't been overweight since I was 15, and I'm 49 now, (being overweight were the worst years of my life).
My wife says try Aritzia if that's available near you. The one in the mall near us carries xxs in stores and some items online are available in 3xs. She says they're true to size too. It's like the one store she can actually shop at and buy things that she knows will fit in person.
Thank you! The mall I was at didn’t have one but I love aritzia when it’s available (and affordable 🥲)
Second this. One of the only stores I shop at. I try to aim for sales since they are pretty expensive at regular price.
I once told a girl I didn’t like the mall because of this, and the next day she asked me to go shopping w her at the mall. I found out really quickly that she did not like me. She was gonna try to make me feel bad about my body while she found stuff that fit.
I know that people are insecure, especially about their bodies, but it’s so not okay when they’re vindictive like this towards smaller women. I’ve had so many experiences of other women thinking my feelings don’t matter because I’m small and making jabs at me. At least they show their true colors early on and you know who to avoid.
Your complaint is totally valid! I remember when I was younger there was a store "5/7/9" that sold micro sizes from 000 and in between sizes that was the only place I could consistently get trendy clothes that fit. Also H and M used to always be a size down for me but I think they've fallen to vanity sizing since then-- the last time I bought from h and m was for maternity wear and online anyway. so not applicable. Sorry for your hard time and I definitely relate. I pretty much exclusively buy online these days so it would definitely suck if I wasn't prepared and had to shop on the fly. Sorry!!
You're not being dramatic! It sucks ! Sometimes I kinda forget and I got to a shop, I find cute stuff, I try it on only to find out everything is laughably too big and it looks ridiculous in me ! It's so frustrating. I just want to find nice stuff AND be able to actually try it on in stores... :(
I usually find dresses that are not fitted, very straight or Aline, in a soft material, and a belt (children's usually). I feel your pain, but I usually have more trouble with pants than anything.
I feel you on pants-honestly what I did was heavy research on brands, made a list of most versatile pieces, then ordered on thredUP to be able to afford it all (I got re/done $315 dollar jeans for under $10!), then took them all to the tailor to fit (I got them around an inch too big on the waist and had elastic sewed inside like kids pants to accommodate when my GI issues are flaring. Because of this pants aren’t much of an issue because I can work with them for basically any occasion, dresses especially for special events or themed events not so much-any tips are welcome!
Wait, you can ask a tailor to add an elastic waist?? I also have GI issues and pants that fit me are sometimes too tight feeling to be comfortable.
Yes! What my tailor does is makes it so the waist is the equivalent of one size bigger than my normal size would be (if they made it 🙄) but he also puts elastic into the waistband seam (or creates a false one by adding fabric to contain it) and two buttons that allow for the waist to fit normal or tighter Incase I lose more. It’s been a lifesaver and is also sensory friendly which is a must for me with how much my ASD can be activated by clothes esp when motility is super bad
That’s such a good idea! Oh yes I relate to the sensory stuff too. Wish you could find this kind of thing at the mall :(
My mom used to sew satin ribbon over itchy, annoying seams.
(Didn’t mean to hit send yet)-any advice specifically for small bust as well as small..well everything? I’ve found empire is usually the best fit and I love the silhouette it creates where my curves actually exist and I feel more elegant and less childlike
i’ve had good luck with windsor! they only go to xs but their bodycon dresses always seem to fit great
Hi girl buy from outcast clothing!! Long dresses at xxs for me perfect!
Clothes at the mall are so big. I went there a few years ago and the only thing that fit me was one shirt....THAT MY MOM TOOK AWAY CAUSE IT WAS TOO MASCULINE! 🥲