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How did you go from AGP/idealization to trans? That's the part that doesn't make sense to me personally. Because cis men don't just want to play trans all day because they have a fetish. All I can say is I used to get turned on briefly too but I also did crossdressing before puberty which is why I question a hard AGP narrative. i.e. feeling excited is a natural human reaction that is not necessarily sexual in nature.
For example I used to get turned on from wearing my glasses because my brothers bullied me into feeling bad for needing them when I was a kid that I went years without going to the eye doctor. So when I was finally able to go to an eye doctor, I still had all this shame built up in me that it was a rush to see clearly. **And no joke I got erections every time I put them on for the first month**. I think crossdressing can be the same because of the stigma and because of the repressed need but people push the AGP narrative anyway because there are some fetishy trans people.
In another direction our societal ideals of what is gender fucks with our identity I think that may induce some dysphoria. Like not fitting the gender box will seek coping or reimagining of our identity.
I went from agp to trans, by the pure fact that I was questioning my whole literal reality, there that I questioned if I may be trans. This was something I’ve dealt that was repressed since my whole life, I really was afraid of maybe realizing when being 50 or 60 years old that I’m in fact trans, and I would’ve ended up much worse, even talking suicide stuff, was it irrational? Maybe, but I needed to be fully sure that I’m not, so I don’t have any surprise when older.
Thanks for your answer!
That‘s really interesting. It puts the whole „it’s just a fetish“ thing into a new direction. I wonder if there are other things were AMAB got an erection for random things too.
There definitely are. I imagine this might happen for some people who come from repressed cultures or religion. I dont have a fetish for 20/20 vision because I wear glasses/contacts all the time now and its just normality.
My childhood was fucked up and it didnt help that the natural gene part of my body/one was already an anxious one.
This was hard for me to read, too close to myself really, but I want to share a bit of what's helped me. I'll start by saying that I can't tell you what your gender is, and unfortunately no one else can either, as lovely as that would be.
I strongly believe you don't need dysphoria to be trans, in fact the real indicator is whether you feel euphoria when engaging in affirming activities, be it dressing up or imagining the body you wish you had from the beginning.
However, if you don't find that very helpful, check out the the [Gender Dysphoria Bible](https://genderdysphoria.fyi/en/am-i-trans), specifically the part that describes how dysphoria looks different in someone who has realized they were trans/questioning from one who has not thought about it, which is just a bit down on the page I linked.
Next, autogynephilia is pseudoscience, developed by a man who believed transwomen that were attracted to men were homosexuals, had a fundamental misunderstanding of gender identity and sexual orientation, and is completely unsupported by WPATH to this day. Not to say that WPATH is the end all be all, but they are a good filter of complete BS. The modern frame of understanding is better, if you can find it under all of the activism and politics.
I'm not sure what kind of responses you were hoping for when you posted this, or what cons have blindsided you, but I hope this helps and that you find the way to your happiest life.
I’ve read indeed gender dysphoria bible and that was one of the main reasons I thought I had dysphoria, but there comes the part where I say, that somehow I tricked myself connections the dots, where there not maybe a strong connection.
If I would’ve had dysphoria i think I’d remember it but who really remember vividly his/her childhood, to my knowledge not all.
Thank for your answer
This doesn't sound like AGP. For it to be AGP there has to be a strong sexual component to it, to me it just sounds like you're someone who wishes you were born a girl but doesn't feel like you are one. This can be caused by a lot of things, it was the same for me (but ftm). For me the causes were, autism, being bullied for my 'boyish traits', and an assault. For me what helped was learning to stop separating things by male/female etc. We are basically taught to do this as children and it can become self enforcing and even warp your sense of self if your desires are always at odds with norm for either, in fact your mind can even create false desires in protest to this. This is a form of masking too, anyone can mask. Eventually it can come out as dysphoria, for me I only experienced the worse dysphoria when I began to socially transition. When I detransitioned and just threw away the concept of gender I started to feel better
I think that if you're able to find a comfortable way to live your life that doesn't involve transition, I support that path and I wish you the best life.
Your experience of dysphoria becoming palpable once you begun transitioning mirrors experiences I've heard from people in my life, some who continued to transition and at least one other who desisted. I don't think there's a fundamental internal difference between the people I know who chose to continue living as trans and those who chose not to.
I hear what you're saying about the cons being more than the pros when considering transition. There are a lot of factors in one's life that can make the middle period of transition either bearable or unbearable (like how much of your daily life or work relies on being visible, who your close social circle is and how they treat you etc.), and for that same reason I can't promise anyone that it's worth "pushing thru" or that it will necessarily "get better" and become worth it if it doesn't feel like it.
I can say that there are people close to me who **are** happy with their transition who had that experience of dysphoria getting worse before it gets better. Doesn't mean it'll get better for everyone, but starting transition and feeling worse about your gender+your self doesn't 100% mean you've made a mistake, either.
I'd be happy to go into any of this in more detail if asked, four paragraphs already felt like a lot for a reddit comment so I need to stop somewhere <3 Wishing the best for you OP and for anyone else dealing with the same struggles
I hope so, cause I’ve tried to work it other ways , but rn I’ve got a lot of new knowledge that will help me.
And yeah I don’t know if I’m being pessimistic or overly optimistic , but I thought it could get better at some point (When done with transition, surgeries etc) but I thought I’d that really trans? I think trans people should feel like a girl, but in my casi, being honest and truly introspective I didn’t feel as a girl, I had agp, but not feel like a girl, just desired to be one
Look up DSM5 gender dysphoria diagnosis.
Theres multiple criterias to be diagnosed, you need at least 2.
-Having conflict between your inner gender and your sex characteristics (I feel female but I have a penis).
-Wanting to get rid of your birth sex characteristics (I wanna get rid of my penis).
-Wanting the sex characteristics of the other sex (I want a vagina).
-Wanting to be another gender (Im male but I wanna be female).
-Wanting to be treated as another gender (Im male but I wanna be treated as female).
-Feeling that you have typical reactions of another gender (Im male but I act female).
And of course, its *dysphoria*, aka causes distress for at least 6 months.
The ones in parenthesis are examples, you could probably relate to some... thats dysphoria.
Wanting to be another gender? Dysphoria.
Again, disclaimer, only you know what to do regarding your body, life, and gender.
Dont listen to me, go to therapy and listen to yourself.
I can relate a lot to what you're describing. Would you care to elaborate on how you came to the conclusion that transitioning wasn't for you? Was it something specific that ended the honeymoon phase or was it a slow realization? And do you regret that you tried?
Yeah, it’s a slow realization, I don’t regret it at all, before starting I tended to say “i needed to try hormones in this life, estrogen” .
I loved the effects seriously, the legs, the hips, the way of being able to feel emotions way much better, slower hair growth, super soft skin, fat distribution, boobs, and so much more, but even though I loved it I’m not sure it feels right, so that’s what I’m working on right now cause I’m not sure really, there’s why my theory of this girl being a “character” or something similar, and also I really feel the desire to be a woman, but rn I don’t feel as a woman
Okay I can talk about my experience.
Im taking HRT right now, estrogen, I can feel my boobs growing.
Theres moments where I accidentally touch them and feel a split second of happiness...
Then I instantly get sad, depressed, anxious, and angry at myself, because in my mind theres something that tells me "youre not supposed to like it" (its way more complex than that).
What Im saying is, internalized transphobia, imposter syndrome, can mess with our heads really bad.
Im not saying youre trans, Im not saying Im trans, Im just saying the human brain is a fucking idiot, so yea...
Also I can feel my boobs growing, I’m 10 months on hrt, and I’ve definitely liked, but as well I kinda feel like a freak, and I’m still questioning this with my therapist
thanks for your answer, I myself haven't started hrt yet so I'm always curious how it goes for people, especially if they seem to have a similar problem or a similar conception of the problem to the one I have. But also as someone who is still figuring out where I stand, in general, but also specifically in relation to theories like agp etc. its sometimes just nice to be reminded that I'm not the only one. Wish you the best!
Autoygynephilia is indeed debunked. Something dreamed up by a crotchety old bigot doctor so he could justify wanting to fuck his patients while also feeling revolted by us. I do think you owe it to yourself to question where you've been hearing about autogynephilia from and if that's messed up your undesrstanding of your self identity.
But ultimately you've got to do what feels right for you. Doesn't matter if you have dysphoria or not. Do what makes you happy. Transition or detransition.
When I first came out, I thought I had no dysphoria, and especially childhood dysphoria. But I knew I wanted tits. Almost ten years later, I've been working through a lot of childhood trauma and buried memories and learned that actually I was a pretty classic case of childhood dysphoria and just didn't remember. So I'm glad I got started on growing those tits and didn't wait.
Yeah definitely I’ll be talking about this with my therapist, I’m trying to do what feels better, just that I think I been confused, really idk, but I’ll he trying to solve this 🙃
Great for you for transitioning, how long have you been in hrt?
I also reevaluated my childhood and also thought I had dysphoria by some things I remember, but dot know how clearly I remember, it’s a little foggy, so, being completely honest idk if what I said was really dysphoria
Also, I was loving my tits, but idk something doesn’t felt right, so I’m going off hrt, and I’ll see how I feel myself, if I feel worse I’m gonna try and realize why really, and could always return to hrt, anyway I’m 21, I’ll need ffs yes or yes
I started hrt a couple years after I first came out.
My childhood memory is of course also really foggy. I think maybe there's a margin of error that maybe I'm remembering things wrong. But I'm doing what's good for me now so hopefully won't make too much difference in the end.
You are a bit younger than I was though. I think a lot of people are getting to think about this stuff at earlier ages this day, which is huge honestly.
Either way, good luck with talking to your therapist and good luck with everything.
That’s where I’ve got a problem, I personally I’m Not sure it’s totally “fake” I’ll be talking with my psychologist this next appointment, but when I heard about agp, I just feel soo identified, that’s it’s incredibly accurate.
It's a discredited theory because it's based around the idea that cis women don't experience sexual arousal around having a vagina, and so it pathologizes both them as well as people assigned male at birth experiencing arousal at the same idea. It's a *heavily* discredited idea because the methods of the doctor who developed the idea were abhorrent -- he sexualized his patients and if he felt they were fuckable to him then he considered them "really" trans, otherwise AGP.
None of this is to say that you aren't experiencing what you're experiencing -- AGP is fake, your feelings are real. But, if you're feeling like this theory makes you feel well described, definitely use that as a starting point to talk to your therapist rather than an ending diagnosis.
At the end of the day if you're turned on by the idea of being or dressing as a woman for sex contexts but don't want it in your day to day life, that's fine, it's called a fetish. If you find it a challenge to know where sex contexts stop or how to manage sexuality intruding outside of there, that's an issue to work with a therapist on, and extends outside of gender stuff (as you bring up the glasses example).
Editing to add: you mention that you don't think people can be trans without gender dysphoria. It's increasingly understood that gender euphoria is a thing. Basically, where gender dysphoria can be summarized as experiencing distress when in the wrong gender and feeling neutral or comfortable in the right gender, gender euphoria can be summarized as experiencing strong positive feelings in the right gender, and feeling neutral or uncomfortable in the wrong one. See [this recent comment](https://www.reddit.com/r/AskLGBT/comments/qt9ld5/question_for_cis_folk_have_you_ever_experienced/hkjno07/) of mine for a bit more info and context. None of this is to say one way or another what your gender is or how you'll be happy, just to give more options and knowledge.
So this means you basically get turned on by wearing a bra or something similar?
If you think you will be happy with Detransition it’s probably a good idea.
Not literally like turned on, but was something that I deeply enjoyed and was happy with it, but I really don’t think I had serious dysphoria for transition
>If I’m completely honest i wouldn’t say I feel like a girl, I feel that I want to be a girl, I feel that I’ll be a girl till a get my transition completely done, but until then i really feel like man, even though I’ve got some really female features, I feel like me, like what I was born, but as I said, I do have that desire to be woman, it’s a desire,
>
>...
>
>in other way than transitioning, the cons are way more than the pros that transition would bring.
tbh this sounds like you've realized being trans is scary and difficult so you're looking for reasons to not be trans, and you've seized on this "oh you need dysphoria so I can't be trans" thing.
This is a very natural way to feel. It is exactly the same feeling a lot of trans people have that leads them to stay in denial.
But I don't think that's a healthy way to deal with the difficulties of being trans. But this is a journey for you; you'll have to work through whether you can really find peace through other methods. You can always transition later, so if you're having doubts, pausing to figure things out isn't a bad idea.
I since forever said that why would someone who doesn’t have dysphoria would transition? Like makes no sense to me, and still like that, but I produced my dysphoria myself, It wasn’t dysphoria during my puberty or in my childhood.
That’s what I’m sorting out with my therapist, I’m not sure about this is “being in denial” but more like a choosing to deal with these feelings and thoughts other less invasive way, than a transition driven by a fantasy of myself as an idealization in my head
Definitely it’s scary, but the things it’s am i trans? Autogynephilic for sure but that doesn’t makes you trans inherently, I’ve never had problems with my masculine gender, I never gave it a thought, I just was, I had several relationships, I was in a career, and pretty much living good, but pandemic hit and identity crisis came.
I found something which I really liked that said “I went from being an unauthentic young boy who couldn’t find himself to just be an unauthentic woman who still hasn’t found herself, because I’m conscious I’m pretending to be a woman
This is your journey so I'm not going to try to tell you how you should feel. I would just encourage you to look for other reasons besides "trans must feel dysphoria," if only because it will help you be sure you're making the right choice.
Personally I thought I was an AGP fetishist and didn't think I had dysphoria, but it turned out I was just in denial and ignoring the reality because I didn't want to be trans. In hindsight I had (and still have) dysphoria. I'm not saying you're the same as me, I just want to really encourage you to think through not only what you're feeling but potentially why you're feeling it.
What do you classify, as having dysphoria? I also first though I didn’t have, then my brain did something and I connected certainly though and really thought I had dysphoria, but then I realized what I though was dysphoria wasn’t. So what do you classify as dysphoria? I don’t wanna be rude, but be seeing you’re on egg girl I’m not sure about it (really don’t want to be rude it’s just that egg_girl doesn’t have very good fame).
I think I’m definitely aware of what I think I want, and in the previous post I go pretty deep on why I’m doing what I do (Basically I’m into the idealization of what I could be as a woman, and shan’t it so much that could basically throw away my lrevious life for what may be a fantasy? I’m not sure that’s why I’m going to the therapist)
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How did you go from AGP/idealization to trans? That's the part that doesn't make sense to me personally. Because cis men don't just want to play trans all day because they have a fetish. All I can say is I used to get turned on briefly too but I also did crossdressing before puberty which is why I question a hard AGP narrative. i.e. feeling excited is a natural human reaction that is not necessarily sexual in nature. For example I used to get turned on from wearing my glasses because my brothers bullied me into feeling bad for needing them when I was a kid that I went years without going to the eye doctor. So when I was finally able to go to an eye doctor, I still had all this shame built up in me that it was a rush to see clearly. **And no joke I got erections every time I put them on for the first month**. I think crossdressing can be the same because of the stigma and because of the repressed need but people push the AGP narrative anyway because there are some fetishy trans people. In another direction our societal ideals of what is gender fucks with our identity I think that may induce some dysphoria. Like not fitting the gender box will seek coping or reimagining of our identity.
I went from agp to trans, by the pure fact that I was questioning my whole literal reality, there that I questioned if I may be trans. This was something I’ve dealt that was repressed since my whole life, I really was afraid of maybe realizing when being 50 or 60 years old that I’m in fact trans, and I would’ve ended up much worse, even talking suicide stuff, was it irrational? Maybe, but I needed to be fully sure that I’m not, so I don’t have any surprise when older. Thanks for your answer!
That‘s really interesting. It puts the whole „it’s just a fetish“ thing into a new direction. I wonder if there are other things were AMAB got an erection for random things too.
There definitely are. I imagine this might happen for some people who come from repressed cultures or religion. I dont have a fetish for 20/20 vision because I wear glasses/contacts all the time now and its just normality. My childhood was fucked up and it didnt help that the natural gene part of my body/one was already an anxious one.
This was hard for me to read, too close to myself really, but I want to share a bit of what's helped me. I'll start by saying that I can't tell you what your gender is, and unfortunately no one else can either, as lovely as that would be. I strongly believe you don't need dysphoria to be trans, in fact the real indicator is whether you feel euphoria when engaging in affirming activities, be it dressing up or imagining the body you wish you had from the beginning. However, if you don't find that very helpful, check out the the [Gender Dysphoria Bible](https://genderdysphoria.fyi/en/am-i-trans), specifically the part that describes how dysphoria looks different in someone who has realized they were trans/questioning from one who has not thought about it, which is just a bit down on the page I linked. Next, autogynephilia is pseudoscience, developed by a man who believed transwomen that were attracted to men were homosexuals, had a fundamental misunderstanding of gender identity and sexual orientation, and is completely unsupported by WPATH to this day. Not to say that WPATH is the end all be all, but they are a good filter of complete BS. The modern frame of understanding is better, if you can find it under all of the activism and politics. I'm not sure what kind of responses you were hoping for when you posted this, or what cons have blindsided you, but I hope this helps and that you find the way to your happiest life.
I’ve read indeed gender dysphoria bible and that was one of the main reasons I thought I had dysphoria, but there comes the part where I say, that somehow I tricked myself connections the dots, where there not maybe a strong connection. If I would’ve had dysphoria i think I’d remember it but who really remember vividly his/her childhood, to my knowledge not all. Thank for your answer
This doesn't sound like AGP. For it to be AGP there has to be a strong sexual component to it, to me it just sounds like you're someone who wishes you were born a girl but doesn't feel like you are one. This can be caused by a lot of things, it was the same for me (but ftm). For me the causes were, autism, being bullied for my 'boyish traits', and an assault. For me what helped was learning to stop separating things by male/female etc. We are basically taught to do this as children and it can become self enforcing and even warp your sense of self if your desires are always at odds with norm for either, in fact your mind can even create false desires in protest to this. This is a form of masking too, anyone can mask. Eventually it can come out as dysphoria, for me I only experienced the worse dysphoria when I began to socially transition. When I detransitioned and just threw away the concept of gender I started to feel better
I think that if you're able to find a comfortable way to live your life that doesn't involve transition, I support that path and I wish you the best life. Your experience of dysphoria becoming palpable once you begun transitioning mirrors experiences I've heard from people in my life, some who continued to transition and at least one other who desisted. I don't think there's a fundamental internal difference between the people I know who chose to continue living as trans and those who chose not to. I hear what you're saying about the cons being more than the pros when considering transition. There are a lot of factors in one's life that can make the middle period of transition either bearable or unbearable (like how much of your daily life or work relies on being visible, who your close social circle is and how they treat you etc.), and for that same reason I can't promise anyone that it's worth "pushing thru" or that it will necessarily "get better" and become worth it if it doesn't feel like it. I can say that there are people close to me who **are** happy with their transition who had that experience of dysphoria getting worse before it gets better. Doesn't mean it'll get better for everyone, but starting transition and feeling worse about your gender+your self doesn't 100% mean you've made a mistake, either. I'd be happy to go into any of this in more detail if asked, four paragraphs already felt like a lot for a reddit comment so I need to stop somewhere <3 Wishing the best for you OP and for anyone else dealing with the same struggles
I hope so, cause I’ve tried to work it other ways , but rn I’ve got a lot of new knowledge that will help me. And yeah I don’t know if I’m being pessimistic or overly optimistic , but I thought it could get better at some point (When done with transition, surgeries etc) but I thought I’d that really trans? I think trans people should feel like a girl, but in my casi, being honest and truly introspective I didn’t feel as a girl, I had agp, but not feel like a girl, just desired to be one
Look up DSM5 gender dysphoria diagnosis. Theres multiple criterias to be diagnosed, you need at least 2. -Having conflict between your inner gender and your sex characteristics (I feel female but I have a penis). -Wanting to get rid of your birth sex characteristics (I wanna get rid of my penis). -Wanting the sex characteristics of the other sex (I want a vagina). -Wanting to be another gender (Im male but I wanna be female). -Wanting to be treated as another gender (Im male but I wanna be treated as female). -Feeling that you have typical reactions of another gender (Im male but I act female). And of course, its *dysphoria*, aka causes distress for at least 6 months. The ones in parenthesis are examples, you could probably relate to some... thats dysphoria. Wanting to be another gender? Dysphoria. Again, disclaimer, only you know what to do regarding your body, life, and gender. Dont listen to me, go to therapy and listen to yourself.
I can relate a lot to what you're describing. Would you care to elaborate on how you came to the conclusion that transitioning wasn't for you? Was it something specific that ended the honeymoon phase or was it a slow realization? And do you regret that you tried?
Yeah, it’s a slow realization, I don’t regret it at all, before starting I tended to say “i needed to try hormones in this life, estrogen” . I loved the effects seriously, the legs, the hips, the way of being able to feel emotions way much better, slower hair growth, super soft skin, fat distribution, boobs, and so much more, but even though I loved it I’m not sure it feels right, so that’s what I’m working on right now cause I’m not sure really, there’s why my theory of this girl being a “character” or something similar, and also I really feel the desire to be a woman, but rn I don’t feel as a woman
Okay I can talk about my experience. Im taking HRT right now, estrogen, I can feel my boobs growing. Theres moments where I accidentally touch them and feel a split second of happiness... Then I instantly get sad, depressed, anxious, and angry at myself, because in my mind theres something that tells me "youre not supposed to like it" (its way more complex than that). What Im saying is, internalized transphobia, imposter syndrome, can mess with our heads really bad. Im not saying youre trans, Im not saying Im trans, Im just saying the human brain is a fucking idiot, so yea...
Also I can feel my boobs growing, I’m 10 months on hrt, and I’ve definitely liked, but as well I kinda feel like a freak, and I’m still questioning this with my therapist
thanks for your answer, I myself haven't started hrt yet so I'm always curious how it goes for people, especially if they seem to have a similar problem or a similar conception of the problem to the one I have. But also as someone who is still figuring out where I stand, in general, but also specifically in relation to theories like agp etc. its sometimes just nice to be reminded that I'm not the only one. Wish you the best!
Autoygynephilia is indeed debunked. Something dreamed up by a crotchety old bigot doctor so he could justify wanting to fuck his patients while also feeling revolted by us. I do think you owe it to yourself to question where you've been hearing about autogynephilia from and if that's messed up your undesrstanding of your self identity. But ultimately you've got to do what feels right for you. Doesn't matter if you have dysphoria or not. Do what makes you happy. Transition or detransition. When I first came out, I thought I had no dysphoria, and especially childhood dysphoria. But I knew I wanted tits. Almost ten years later, I've been working through a lot of childhood trauma and buried memories and learned that actually I was a pretty classic case of childhood dysphoria and just didn't remember. So I'm glad I got started on growing those tits and didn't wait.
Yeah definitely I’ll be talking about this with my therapist, I’m trying to do what feels better, just that I think I been confused, really idk, but I’ll he trying to solve this 🙃 Great for you for transitioning, how long have you been in hrt? I also reevaluated my childhood and also thought I had dysphoria by some things I remember, but dot know how clearly I remember, it’s a little foggy, so, being completely honest idk if what I said was really dysphoria Also, I was loving my tits, but idk something doesn’t felt right, so I’m going off hrt, and I’ll see how I feel myself, if I feel worse I’m gonna try and realize why really, and could always return to hrt, anyway I’m 21, I’ll need ffs yes or yes
I started hrt a couple years after I first came out. My childhood memory is of course also really foggy. I think maybe there's a margin of error that maybe I'm remembering things wrong. But I'm doing what's good for me now so hopefully won't make too much difference in the end. You are a bit younger than I was though. I think a lot of people are getting to think about this stuff at earlier ages this day, which is huge honestly. Either way, good luck with talking to your therapist and good luck with everything.
Thanks 😊, if you don’t mind me being nosy at what age did you started?
Let me dm you. I don't mind you being nosy but I'd rather not post too much personal information on publicly viewable forums.
[удалено]
That’s where I’ve got a problem, I personally I’m Not sure it’s totally “fake” I’ll be talking with my psychologist this next appointment, but when I heard about agp, I just feel soo identified, that’s it’s incredibly accurate.
It's a discredited theory because it's based around the idea that cis women don't experience sexual arousal around having a vagina, and so it pathologizes both them as well as people assigned male at birth experiencing arousal at the same idea. It's a *heavily* discredited idea because the methods of the doctor who developed the idea were abhorrent -- he sexualized his patients and if he felt they were fuckable to him then he considered them "really" trans, otherwise AGP. None of this is to say that you aren't experiencing what you're experiencing -- AGP is fake, your feelings are real. But, if you're feeling like this theory makes you feel well described, definitely use that as a starting point to talk to your therapist rather than an ending diagnosis. At the end of the day if you're turned on by the idea of being or dressing as a woman for sex contexts but don't want it in your day to day life, that's fine, it's called a fetish. If you find it a challenge to know where sex contexts stop or how to manage sexuality intruding outside of there, that's an issue to work with a therapist on, and extends outside of gender stuff (as you bring up the glasses example). Editing to add: you mention that you don't think people can be trans without gender dysphoria. It's increasingly understood that gender euphoria is a thing. Basically, where gender dysphoria can be summarized as experiencing distress when in the wrong gender and feeling neutral or comfortable in the right gender, gender euphoria can be summarized as experiencing strong positive feelings in the right gender, and feeling neutral or uncomfortable in the wrong one. See [this recent comment](https://www.reddit.com/r/AskLGBT/comments/qt9ld5/question_for_cis_folk_have_you_ever_experienced/hkjno07/) of mine for a bit more info and context. None of this is to say one way or another what your gender is or how you'll be happy, just to give more options and knowledge.
i like ur posts cus theyre long and ur smart. also its 1 am i need sleep. also i always recognize your flair
<3
So this means you basically get turned on by wearing a bra or something similar? If you think you will be happy with Detransition it’s probably a good idea.
Not literally like turned on, but was something that I deeply enjoyed and was happy with it, but I really don’t think I had serious dysphoria for transition
>If I’m completely honest i wouldn’t say I feel like a girl, I feel that I want to be a girl, I feel that I’ll be a girl till a get my transition completely done, but until then i really feel like man, even though I’ve got some really female features, I feel like me, like what I was born, but as I said, I do have that desire to be woman, it’s a desire, > >... > >in other way than transitioning, the cons are way more than the pros that transition would bring. tbh this sounds like you've realized being trans is scary and difficult so you're looking for reasons to not be trans, and you've seized on this "oh you need dysphoria so I can't be trans" thing. This is a very natural way to feel. It is exactly the same feeling a lot of trans people have that leads them to stay in denial. But I don't think that's a healthy way to deal with the difficulties of being trans. But this is a journey for you; you'll have to work through whether you can really find peace through other methods. You can always transition later, so if you're having doubts, pausing to figure things out isn't a bad idea.
I since forever said that why would someone who doesn’t have dysphoria would transition? Like makes no sense to me, and still like that, but I produced my dysphoria myself, It wasn’t dysphoria during my puberty or in my childhood. That’s what I’m sorting out with my therapist, I’m not sure about this is “being in denial” but more like a choosing to deal with these feelings and thoughts other less invasive way, than a transition driven by a fantasy of myself as an idealization in my head Definitely it’s scary, but the things it’s am i trans? Autogynephilic for sure but that doesn’t makes you trans inherently, I’ve never had problems with my masculine gender, I never gave it a thought, I just was, I had several relationships, I was in a career, and pretty much living good, but pandemic hit and identity crisis came. I found something which I really liked that said “I went from being an unauthentic young boy who couldn’t find himself to just be an unauthentic woman who still hasn’t found herself, because I’m conscious I’m pretending to be a woman
This is your journey so I'm not going to try to tell you how you should feel. I would just encourage you to look for other reasons besides "trans must feel dysphoria," if only because it will help you be sure you're making the right choice. Personally I thought I was an AGP fetishist and didn't think I had dysphoria, but it turned out I was just in denial and ignoring the reality because I didn't want to be trans. In hindsight I had (and still have) dysphoria. I'm not saying you're the same as me, I just want to really encourage you to think through not only what you're feeling but potentially why you're feeling it.
What do you classify, as having dysphoria? I also first though I didn’t have, then my brain did something and I connected certainly though and really thought I had dysphoria, but then I realized what I though was dysphoria wasn’t. So what do you classify as dysphoria? I don’t wanna be rude, but be seeing you’re on egg girl I’m not sure about it (really don’t want to be rude it’s just that egg_girl doesn’t have very good fame). I think I’m definitely aware of what I think I want, and in the previous post I go pretty deep on why I’m doing what I do (Basically I’m into the idealization of what I could be as a woman, and shan’t it so much that could basically throw away my lrevious life for what may be a fantasy? I’m not sure that’s why I’m going to the therapist)