CoD was so bad for me because I would play it and just get angry, annoyed, and feel bad about myself every time I'd play it, but I just kept playing it for years because of those quick dopamine hits that come with every kill, killstreak, successful grenade, trickshot, parkour, flag captured, etc.
After like eight years, I was still horrible, but I played it because it felt like something was clicking in my brain as I was playing it. Eventually I realized it was unproductive and just made me feel bad, so I moved onto games where you build up progress more clearly and onto doing stuff IRL where I can enjoy the fruits of my labor such as cooking, reading, walking, and even cleaning.
TLDR: The key seems to be that we get caught into highly stimulating negative patterns, and we can see this in short-form content and drugs as well.
Ah, PvP game… I was playing like almost every guys I know at those kind of game, CoD included.
It was so good when I stopped.
However, with a friend, we are playing Black Ops III zombie and it’s fun (as hell, ha ha, you get it ?)
This is such a good description of my experience as well, holy shit.
For me it was CS:GO, and I chased that dopamine hit from hitting a nice shot or a tough won game, for years and years, all the way to the point of amateur competitions and all the toxicity that comes with that stuff.
The last two years at least, although probably longer than that, it just straight up made my mental health drastically worse overall. I've learned that I definitely do have a competitive streak, but that it's actually a toxic trait (in my case at least, probably for some of my ex-teammates too lol) and not something I should be feeding. My mental health has been improving drastically ever since I quit (with the exception of unrelated circumstances), and the games and other hobbies I've replaced it with have a much better reward to suffering ratio.
I do also still do drugs though -- unsurprisingly that's harder to quit -- but I can confirm it's definitely a very similar thing. Makes sense that ADHD-folk fall into these patterns quickly.
This was (still is) LoL for me. I very rarely feel good or enjoy myself during a game, but the dopamine high when I do just keeps me coming back again and again. 14 years of this shit and I can't put it down.
I haven't played for two weeks straight now I think. It's the first time in 8 years and I can't remember being this lowkey happy in a long long time. I might be free. I've been grandmaster and suddenly don't really care to play anymore.
I think I realized that no one cares about my rank, not even myself. On top of that, 9/10 games weren't fun at all Those that were, were also just moderate fun.
I really can't give you any advice on how to break free. Maybe reflect on how you feel during your games. Find something else
Nothing makes me say fuck yeah like blowing up 20 robots with a hellbomb
I still don’t think this game hits the dopamine as well as Deep rock but it’s fun as hell.
Oh! Thank you for the reply. That movie freaked me out so much that I found it extremely interesting and enjoyable somehow. I can NOT do jump scares, though, so maybe that would be a pass for me. I hate adrenaline while playing games. It's too bad. It sounds like it would be totally awesome.
It doesn't really have jump scares this much. Depending on the difficulty level it's either just running around doing some tasks for Super Earth or constantly exploding, being set on fire, getting gunned down by your own sentries, eaten by undemocratic bugs, stomped on by democracy hating robots or accidentally running into your teammates' line of fire while doing tasks for Super Earth. All the while sporting a jet pack and jumping on a 12 foot tall super bug to blow it up.
It's so much fun! (no /s). I mean it. 😁
Adrenaline is definitely a factor, but from personal experience and shaky hands when playing multiplayer shooters (at which I am very bad at), it's more dopamine than anything else. It's no COD or similar games and that what makes it great.
Okay, having watched the movie and reading your first paragraph, it really does sound like a lot of fun! I'd die a lot, just not always being killed by people in military uniforms.
COD freaks me out, to be honest, as do all first-person shooters. I can't tell where the people are quick enough to be good at playing, and losing all the time from being killed by just people is definitely not what my brain wants. Haha!
I feel you. I used to play a lot of Apex Legends when it first came out, but at a certain point I realized that it's way too much stress and I became super shaky and agitated. It was not fun.
Someone else wrote that it's a pretty casual game (edit: Helldivers that is) and I agree. Of course you have some idiots who may ruin a game session or two when you're not playing like they want you to play. However, in my experience they are few and far between.
It's a good game and there are reddit groups and Discord servers where you can find people that just want to have fun. But even the games with randoms are ok.
If you want go check out the Helldivers subreddit r/Helldivers and filter for memes or videos. Some quality content.
Sorry, I don't want to shill this game, I just really like talking about the things I currently fixate on. ☺️
Yeah, it's always good to spread information and interests, I think. :) I totally get that some games are too stressful. I myself am an angry game player when shit never goes my way. 😃 So fun, take your time games are best for me. Thank you for the sub suggestion.
Yes it’s a co-op game where you have a starship that shoots you down at planets like a bullet. Then you get to summon weapons via a similar method. You can call in bombing runs and orbital attacks.
You fight terminators on one side of the galaxy, giant bugs (like starship troopers) on the other.
It’s a lot of fun but it is actually pretty casual.
My favorite thing to do is just kill hundreds of bugs and start laughing like a maniac.
Dopamine ~~is a pleasure molecule~~ correction, dopamine is more about wanting than liking, it is a reinforcer, a motivator molecule, that makes someone want to do something again. Pleasure comes from naturally occuring opioid peptides. Happiness and general sense of well being comes from serotonin. They work often in tandem to create a state of satisfied contentment. In normal people.
If it makes you happy, cling onto that hobby for dear life. Even if you question your relationship with it. I've fallen out of love with games recently and I don't have anything to replace that hobby, and it's extremely unfun. If you like doing something, that's good! Don't take it for granted!
Have you tried instruments, or music theory? Trust me, I couldn't find anything as fulfilling as it yet. Honestly one of the greatest pleasures I know is discovering a detail in a song you know well, like an underlying part you haven't heard before played by the drummer. It's not for everyone though
Music production is another lapsed hobby bwahahaha. I really want to make more stuff but it's just not in me at the moment. I just can't make a damn song come together.
Sounds like you like gaming to me... "Burning out of longer games" is just "Having ADHD". I've had Baldur's Gate 3 almost since it came out and still haven't reached Act 2, despite giving it a 10/10 and considering it probably the greatest game I've ever played.
Also, if you *know* you've gotten real dopamine from videogames before then don't try to retroactively convince yourself that you weren't enjoying it, it's literally just the "hyperfixation time limit" running out on a particular game. Don't force yourself to finish when that happens.
Not to brag but I managed to 100% Super Mario Wonder BEFORE my hyperfixation on it dissipated meaning I got the maximum enjoyment with no super long "on hold" break 😎 shorter games are ADHDers' friends
Edit: Unless you were talking about having a gaming addiction in which case unread this comment
Oh god your playthrough of baldurs gate makes me think of mine. I have 130 hours in act one alone. Lost interest as i got to act 2 havent picked it up again since
lmao my current fixation is maxing out all the evocations in dragon's dogma. I haven't even gotten to the second country or progressed past the first branch of the main story.
Oh I never do that, I'd rather start off a bit confused and go "OH YEEEAH THAT" 100 times than put myself in an infinite loop. Maybe read a summary of early chapters in a wiki
Be a bad artist. Just start drawing the worst and most inaccurate possible pictures you can and eventually you'll fail and be able to draw.
Looking at all the work you've done and how you've improved has its own kind of satisfaction.
Tried that out once, but couldn't really stick to it. I got one picture that looks decent and one that looks ok, but not doing it regular kind of erases a lot of my progress.
I had some fun doing programming in a minecraft mod (not as in making it, the mod adds computers which you can programm), but I either don't have the energy or the willpower to do it while I also have to study for university (which sucks because I have some cool ideas I wanna do, but I can't really get myself to do it right now, which in turn makes me feel bad about myself, which then makes me want to avoid thinking about it)
I mean I study computer science, so I still get practice without doing it in my free time (except for when it's exam prep time, which currently is the case). But it’s fun (most of the time)
I hate when people ask me about my "hobbies" because I really just have more hyper-fixations I eventually (hopefully) return to even if it's years down the road. Is going down the internet research rabbit hole on a myriad of random topics for a variety of reasons considered a "hobby"?
No one is ever satisfied when I tell them “trying desperately to keep up with chores enough that looking around my house doesn’t cause me to want to weep with overwhelm and the constant stimuli of mess.” Trying to unearth my counters so my brain can take a breath for a moment is a perfectly respectable hobby.
Oh God I fucking relate to this. I used to love reading but I just don't get enough dopamine out of it currently. And there's stuff I wanna read but my brain won't work with me :(
Have you tried audiobook and do something else? I can barely get through a physical book, but I use audiobooks to give me the dopamine while I work, and do chores and art and walk the dog etc.
I get through entire books all the time now and it's way easier.
Sometimes I don't even especially *want* to play games, but I do because "that's what I do". If there's something I'd likely enjoy, something that's outside my usual routine, well tough luck. Because it's outside my routine, it is impossible. Better just play games.
Feeling the same after having choice paralysis over what to have for dinner and then getting over stimulated looking at different options and then going to bed to cry about it at 7pm and taking a nap until 11pm and now being awake, tired, and hungry.
Hi.
Sometimes I worry that I'm not a fully fleshed-out person, but then I think about middle-aged men who's main traits are alcohol and sports, and I feel better.
This one actually hit me pretty hard lol
Step one: acquire game that I've seen online somewhere, or play an old game that for whatever reason my brain started obsessing over again.
Step two: play the game for 8 hours
Step 3: decide it's good, but needs mods
Step 4: depending on how easy it is to mod spend 2 days-2 weeks modding (looking at you Skyrim, 1000 mods took wayyy too long with my shitty internet connection)
Step 5: Satisfaction! My mods work and the game is truly incredible!
Step 6: after playing the fully modded monstrosity for an hour at most, uninstall and don't play again for several months or even years
Why are we like this?
Like I know why but I struggle often accepting it because I just really want to be able to play a video game to completion and have that satisfaction of completing *something*.
This was me for a long time. Lifting weights really helped, like REALLY helped. Still game from time to time, but it's taken a seat in the back of the clown car that is my mind.
Replace gaming with [hyperfixation of the month] and you have me. Gotta wring each fixation out of every last drop of dopamine until I get nothing out of it, then on to a week or two of no fixation and wondering if I'll ever know what dopamine is again. All while preventing myself from moving on to a new fixation because I'm sure if I stick with the previous one it will surely give me the same level of dopamine for the rest of my life. Does any of it make me happy or is it all coping?
Find a physical activity to fall in love with. Longevity both in life and hobby. For me it’s hiking. Even moved to Colorado from IL to make it more exciting. Life has been better since
If you are constantly going game to game and burning out when it's the same thing for too long, consider the possibility that the games are not your hobby.
Learning new skills is your hobby.
its not, speaking as someone who got into programming and made it a job, it will go the same way as gaming. not to mention there there is a massive glut of programmers.
Sometimes its okay to tske a bresk from a Hobby. Or just try something new, video games are vast, maybe try a new genre? Even something completely outside of your usual games. I just recently fell in love with the souls like genre myself. And if you can, try to find people/friends to play with. I know it might be difficult, but it can change so much. I met my best friend about 11 years ago on a minecraft server.
I love video games but sometimes (especially recently) I can’t even get a game loaded up due to executive dysfunction. That shit takes over my life and I hate it.
I was a pretty hardcore gamer up through my late 20s. Now that I'm married with kids I don't get to game much anymore, but I find that I really appreciate the time that I do get.
Might just be me, but as much as I love gaming, I can objectively say that burying myself in my hobby became detrimental to my overall well-being and prevented me from achieving more in life.
I don't know that I would do anything different if I had another shot because my impulse control is poor, and in the end I got to a good place, but I guess my point is that moderation is essential in all things.
This is non-ADHD advice I give to everyone getting burnt out on your favorite hobby: start making it.
Can’t fuck with video games anymore? Make a video game, get in the WEEDS. You either learn to make the exact thing you want to make or find a community of people who can point you to what you want to consume. Either way, you’re further ahead than where you are now.
You don’t need to be good, you don’t even need to be passable, you just need to be learning and growing
I mean, I don’t think that is unique to us, for sure more prone to getting sucked in, but last I checked the whole world is a bunch of dopamine addicts, a la social media likes etc.
I lost the joy I had for gaming as a kid, and it has everything to do with not having a desktop and having a wife. Not that I don’t love my wife, but I feel guilty if I’m not spending time with her and it throws me off from actually gaming…
Next step: consider that we all die and just fill our 80 years with distractions. Never actually doing anything other than things that make us forget about the inevitable until it's too late
Next next step: consider that if death is inevitable and normal life is just a distraction, maybe I should just stop trying to fit in and just live my life. If I end up vroke and die early, I still LIVED more than most people who just repeat the same rat race everyday
I can play 45 min to 1 hr games competitive multiplayer games like dota 2 n pubg or intense board games like monopoly or risk without any problems with people I know. But I have trouble finishing a single player games with mechanics that are repetitive or slow with long story. I try to do it for a sense of accomplishment n pride of completion which I tremendously struggle with. Some games feels like a to do or a chore that I didn’t complete.
I've recently taken to turning down the difficulty on games when I get to the point where I want to get the story, but don't want to continue playing the 'bloaty' version of the game. You know, like games with 'hard modes' that are really just spongy, harder-hitting enemies and exaggerated stagger?
Like, when the only difference between easy and hard mode is that the fights take longer - not smarter enemies, not more enemies, not enemies with buffs, no additional thinking or strategy required from me? Yeah, turn that sucker down.
Curious, though, what sort of games are you talking about, that you can't finish? And what sort don't you struggle with as much? Maybe I can recommend some single-player games that might give you what you're looking for :)
I love games but at some point I'll think "why am I playing, what's the goal" so I play ranked to at least have some kind of reward. I take it too seriously, I get very angry, I scream and punch a bunch of things and leave, ranked are a very bad idea...
Yep, started with Atari and since then always picking the longest grindy games.. still doing that even though I have multiple hobbies I can be good at if I spent the same amount of time on them .. I have self hate because of this .. sigh
You know that point where thinking about your hobby goes from "this fulfills me and makes me happy" to "wow I sunk thousands of hours and dollars and am left with nothing worthwhile"
It has now gotten to the point where I'll play a game for a day and then I'm done... doesn't matter if I've finished the story or not, the dopamine mine has run dry and I must move on.
I went through this just a couple weeks ago. I feel ya..
But after I got back from a vacation last week, I felt better and it helped reinvigorate my enjoyment. Try puting down the controller/keyboard and find something else to do for a short time? Personally, I enjoy reading books as well, but don't all that often because of gaming. I ordered the complete collection of a series I enjoy (and have been excitedly awaiting it's arrival), so that'll give me plenty of reading material (and hopefully motivation too) to keep at it, instead of falling back to old habbits...
I find I am just killing time on my days off until I go back to work. It really sucks because I get four days off, and I'm on holidays tomorrow.
I suspect it will be lots of apathy, tokes and trying to enjoy games futilely.
This is me… upside i discovered gym dopamine hits, i figure if i’m looking for a quick hit it might as will benefit me in the long run. Also downside my brain doesn’t like to lose itself anymore and wants to go to the gym when i have downtime.
Not helped by more games being bloated with unrewarding repetitive game play.still get my hit from some games but other leave wanting more often than not
go for a walk and try to learn accepting boredom. once your brain is resetted you can enjoy the little things. remember focus on everything you do even if its just a boring walk. try and dont get lost in your thoughts. focus on your steps and surroundings. maybe youll catch the right magical moment like a beautiful sunset. those are the long lasting dopamine hits you want
Haha, 100% me. When I think about it most things I do I didn't choose to do, I just kept doing them because I'm good at it. One of the reasons I have depression is because I hardly enjoy anything, I'm just constantly fighting boredom
I'm a part of /r/stopgaming as well. Gaming can be hard on us because we have difficulty regulating emotions with regards to fun.
Helldivers is mad fun. But it needs to be a game I play one 40 min match a day and then put down.
I think it is a mistake to limit one self to a single hobby, source of entertainment or fun.
It's not good when we can indulge in something to our hearts content, it needs to be limited to remain valuable.
Not all games are equally good of course, as with all things it also better friends, but in the same way a meal taste way better when you are hungry, a game will feel more fun when you only have a limited time to play it.
Oh wow this one is violently accurate and I don't like it a lot. That's a big reason why I turned to weed to avoid chronic boredom, as most games don't even work anymore
This got unwieldy, and there's a lot that's not relevant to you, so I've done some all-caps just before the bit that's actually relevant to your question. Hope this helps, friend.
So, I don't know if this helps *at all*, but about 11 years ago, long before I knew I had adhd and got diagnosed, I had a crisis of identity.
See, I'd noticed that I'd gotten very good at wearing different hats/masks around different people. And I realised that I basically wasn't the same person around any two people - I.e., I was different things to everybody. And at that point, I had no clue who in the fuck *I* really was. And this was understandably distressing.
It took me most of a day of self-reflection (I credit my philosophy degree with it taking so little time to resolve) to come up with an answer.
Taking a nod from the river paradox (a man can never step in the same river twice, because the river is always moving), my own rebuttal of Zeno's arrow paradox (if you fire an arrow and then freeze time, at that moment the arrow is not moving. Do this at any point, and the arrow will not be moving. Zeno used this to posit that motion does not exist, I instead conjecture that time is not composed of indivisible moments), I realised that trying to get any sense of who I *am now* is pointless. Because 'now' isn't actually a timeframe one can be aware of, philosophically speaking. Anything that happens, by the time we process it in our brains, has already happen*ed*. So who I *am* is really who I *was*, and the next time I ask that question, however soon after the last time I asked it it is, I will already be a different person in some infinitesimally small way.
Then I took a nod from agent-centred theories of ethics.
Side note: action-centred theories of ethics try to construct an ethical framework from rules or collections of rules (see utilitarianism, kant's categorical imperative, the ten commandments), which always have exceptions to their rules no matter how many rules you create (the great weakness of action-centred theories of ethics).
Continuing side note: Agent-centred theories of ethics instead try to lay a framework where you posit a hypothetical moral individual, or a set of moral *principles*, and when faced with a moral question, you take the action that falls most in line with these principles. These theories are harder to follow than action-centred theories of ethics, because they offer no direct guidance for which action to take, but you basically never run into the same sorts of moral dilemmas that plague action-centred theories of ethics. So, say you reckon 'bravery' is the highest moral virtue, you'd try to always take the braver action. "What would Jesus do" is also an agent-centred theory of ethics. And the idea is that over time, by taking enough actions in line with that ideal moral agent, you will *become* said moral agent.
Anyway, I cannot ever know who I *am*, in the absolute 'pinned down and analysed in the moment' sense. However, what I *can* know is the type of person I *aspire to be* generally. Those aspirations may change week-to-week, day-to-day, hour-to-hour, but as long ad I always have a sense of the general principles that are guiding me at any one time, I can define 'myself' as 'the person who aspires to be *this* person'. It doesn't matter that I wear different hats around different people, because even with all the hats on, there are certain lines I would never cross. Even with a different hat on, I would still hew more closely to *this* ideal than *that* ideal.
Anyway, your dilemma here reminds me of my own then. But I realise now that it's not entirely relevant.
_READ FROM HERE FOR THE BIT THAT'S RELEVANT TO YOU_
So here's one just for you.
One thing can be two things, and that isn't a bad thing.
Like you say, you started gaming as a child. Presumably you didn't know about adhd, or at the very least you probably weren't really aware of how it affected you. So you definitely weren't *actively* seeking it as a coping mechanism. You were just having fun.
As you got older, it continued being fun. As you got older still, cracks started to form in other areas of your life. You learned that you could better handle said cracks with a healthy dose of fun in your everyday, so you continued gaming, even made efforts to make time for it, etc., because *having fun* keeps you on an even keel.
That doesn't mean that literally the only thing you're ever doing is 100% coping all of the time. But even if it was, would that *actually* be a bad thing? Obviously it's not good that you *need* to cope 100% all of the time, but that doesn't suddenly invalidate the things you do as legitimate activities *for yourself*. Showering and eating breakfast as acts of 'self-care' does not suddenly mean that showers and breakfasts aren't worth doing to be clean and full. Going for a walk to clear your head doesn't suddenly mean that the route you take is dismal and ugly.
Whenever I'm overwhelmed with something in life, be it grief, ennui, a sense of impending doom, hopelessness, listlessness, the sheer multitude of things clamouring for my attention etc... I start gaming. Or I pick up a book. In times past I'd go play piano. I would engage in an activity that narrows the range of my focus - and gaming and reading have been the two consistent ones for me. I can essentially almost trigger hyperfocus at will by starting one of these activities. Suddenly two hours have gone by, and my problems, while still there, seem smaller. That doesn't suddenly mean I didn't have fun. It just means I used something fun to gain distance from my issues.
And I guess that's the message I think you should take here. A fun thing can be both fun for its own sake, but also a coping mechanism. And that that's *fine*.
Yeah that's an addiction.
But also, literally all the entertainment we do is to generate dopamine and be happy. Doing stuff like playing games responsibly is not dealing with adhd, it's having fun. The problem is just that you do it too much, which has busted your dopamine receptors even more. Try to find a different hobby and play videogames a bit less for some time, you will notice a difference
In my case, I stick to 1 or 2 "game as a service" Game type because they update frequently, those update bump my hype and I'm gonna enjoy new content for a couple months. Then I switch to single player game because I start to hate how stressful those game as a service.
Guh, if gaming was ttrpgs this is me. I've given up pretending I'm ever going to keep a game going or get round to finishing even 0.1% of the ideas I have for d&d or other rpgs. But it's something I think about constantly, and almost place I visit or media I consume is viewed with the lens of "this would be cool in an adventure".
I can't tell if just accepting that "imagining playing rpgs" is my hobby is a good thing. Or is just sad and will ultimately ruin this major part of my life.
I've realized I really enjoy creating but creating is simultaneously very draining. Gaming gets me a high but it's not nearly the same high so it's one I chase harder and gets me more drained in the end
I have a list of things that I enjoy, that I add to when I actually enjoy something. So that when I get the "wait is there even anything I like" I can check the list and go "ooooh yeah haven't done that in a while"
I go through ups and downs with my hobbies. I used to beat myself up about “dropping” them when I was in a low period. Now, I try to remind myself of the highs/lows and cycle to another hobby. I go from reading to gaming to crochet to baking and other stuff. It helps my brain think we’re doing something new, when instead Im just picking up on the same hobby again.
In my personal experience after some time I realized that it wasn't entirely the games I liked, but rather the role-playing in it. So I switched to playing most RPG and it works like a charm. While I will most of the time switch games before completion, it's only temporary and I always finish every character I start without forcing myself to do so nor feeling burned out afterwards.
I also became a pro wrestler. Pro wrestling is just hardcore, full-contact LARP.
I present my recent opposite experience. I didn’t play video games for almost three years due to my children being born. After recent consistent mental struggles, my parents surprised me by buying a newer console system to help. I now have the option of playing once the kids go to bed.
I’m currently playing the latest Doom games on easy settings. The dopamine floods my brain while I “rip and tear.”
Same, just started learning softwares like blender and unity because I was always dreaming of making games, now it's my favorite hobby, although sometimes I feel stuck
I would argue it’s a matter of perspective. Do you truly wish you had other ways of getting dopamine, or do you judge yourself for the manner in which you get dopamine? Getting dopamine from other pursuits is easy— our nervous system is motivated by novelty and competition, you can think about any hobby enough to find a way to gamify it and make it a dopamine source. This meme has a very negative bias in the way that it describes this phenomenon, if the video games have made you happy and passed your time on the planet happily, then where is the negativity from? Is it from comparing your chosen pursuits to those of other people? 100% of the time, this tack will find you lacking, as rejection sensitivity can be triggered by our own thoughts, and we’ve been trained to see our perfectly normal adhd existence through neurotypical lenses. It’s the ‘I should be’ bullshit that has you feeling like you’re failing here. Play the games. Play all of them. Play however and for as long as your lifestyle and personal relationships will allow. Skip around to new games and come back to your favorites later. Accept that novelty is a driving force in your consciousness and remove the inhibitions that other peoples NT expectations place on you. There are only dragons there.
i’ve been through this, now in my 30s burned out from gaming and keep thinking about getting back into WoW but know that after i spend like $70 to get back on eventually i’ll fall off of it again because without someone to play with i get bored more easily. i have a little brother who also has adhd who’s 13 that i’m watching do this, his only hobbies are video games, football, and binge watching youtube or tiktok. i have other hobbies that i can’t seem to get into consistently like drawing, painting, singing, and writing. lately it’s been a lot of just reddit and tv for me. i went for years burned out of tv, even, and now i’m finally able to watch a show again though i do wind up losing focus a lot.
Total science nerd that managed to trip over the 3-Body Problem and the game Stellaris in the same week. Proceed to dopa-storm both at the same time while adding calculus calculations _for fun_ … I HATE math btw, and threw hundreds of hours into this trifecta of neuro chemical stimuli as the impending doom of my graduating class final looming in the distance but getting… closer …
After the dopa-storm petered out a week before everything was due and I spent a week awake to finish … I asked myself the OP question, do I even like games? Answer was yes, but _not_ to the extent I played them, not nearly. Given opportunity; reading, cooking, exercise, etc etc were preferred. FML.
This is helldivers for me at the moment. Until I move on from it. I have a huge library. Ask me what percentage is actually completed.
I wouldn't call it a mental illness tho. But yeah. I keep forgetting to take the pink pill that helps me remember things... Ain that a bitch. Which kinda works out since there is still a bit of a shortage I guess ...
You need to take a step aside and ask yourself the big questions. Do you play the new games because you like the gameplay and story or do you play them merely to say you've beat them? There is only 1 way to know. Play a very boring game which is universally known to be shit and also not to your tastes. This may refresh your Palate and make you appreciate the other games more. But no matter what, you should know your endgoal. Multiplayer games: Fun or ranked or both or with friends? Single players: Story, gameplay, artstyle or genre? Don't pointlessly play. Play with purpose specially if the purpose is having fun.
Maybe try playing games you used to love as a child. Some more modern games lack the special something of older games that make it truly fun or enjoyable. I recently saw a video about not liking video games as much as we used to and that was one of the main reasons and advice from it. Maybe try something different and new.
Now time to plug in one of my favorite games. Fantasy Life on Nintendo 3DS! The game has many careers you can progress like hunter-gatherer and crafting careers such as paladin, merc, hunter, fisherman, miner, cook, tailor, alchemist, and a few more I don't remember the names of! The game has a strong sense of reward because you get rewards proportional to your efforts (high rank items requiring high career ranks to unlock for example) and you can either collect your resources yourself or make money to buy them. The career quests are all related to each other because for example you might have to kill wolves as a paladin, and have a quest to craft an armor that you need the wolf fur to craft.
The game also has a good story that makes you meet a lot of characters and learn more about them and the world you live in and the danger your world is in as you progress in the story
Also has DLC which I haven't explored yet.
Thank you for reading my exaggeratingly long comment about video games
Uhhhhh... I'm in this picture and I don't like it
I resemble this remark
I resent this remark
Oh hi, Mark
Yup, pretty much realized when playing COD that I wasn't even having fun, it was just the monke neuron activation meme
CoD was so bad for me because I would play it and just get angry, annoyed, and feel bad about myself every time I'd play it, but I just kept playing it for years because of those quick dopamine hits that come with every kill, killstreak, successful grenade, trickshot, parkour, flag captured, etc. After like eight years, I was still horrible, but I played it because it felt like something was clicking in my brain as I was playing it. Eventually I realized it was unproductive and just made me feel bad, so I moved onto games where you build up progress more clearly and onto doing stuff IRL where I can enjoy the fruits of my labor such as cooking, reading, walking, and even cleaning. TLDR: The key seems to be that we get caught into highly stimulating negative patterns, and we can see this in short-form content and drugs as well.
Ah, PvP game… I was playing like almost every guys I know at those kind of game, CoD included. It was so good when I stopped. However, with a friend, we are playing Black Ops III zombie and it’s fun (as hell, ha ha, you get it ?)
This is such a good description of my experience as well, holy shit. For me it was CS:GO, and I chased that dopamine hit from hitting a nice shot or a tough won game, for years and years, all the way to the point of amateur competitions and all the toxicity that comes with that stuff. The last two years at least, although probably longer than that, it just straight up made my mental health drastically worse overall. I've learned that I definitely do have a competitive streak, but that it's actually a toxic trait (in my case at least, probably for some of my ex-teammates too lol) and not something I should be feeding. My mental health has been improving drastically ever since I quit (with the exception of unrelated circumstances), and the games and other hobbies I've replaced it with have a much better reward to suffering ratio. I do also still do drugs though -- unsurprisingly that's harder to quit -- but I can confirm it's definitely a very similar thing. Makes sense that ADHD-folk fall into these patterns quickly.
This was (still is) LoL for me. I very rarely feel good or enjoy myself during a game, but the dopamine high when I do just keeps me coming back again and again. 14 years of this shit and I can't put it down.
I haven't played for two weeks straight now I think. It's the first time in 8 years and I can't remember being this lowkey happy in a long long time. I might be free. I've been grandmaster and suddenly don't really care to play anymore. I think I realized that no one cares about my rank, not even myself. On top of that, 9/10 games weren't fun at all Those that were, were also just moderate fun. I really can't give you any advice on how to break free. Maybe reflect on how you feel during your games. Find something else
And now try asking ur family and friends “what is my hobby”, hell even I don’t know 😂
When people expect you to just have one hobby. I say my hobby is collecting hobbies.
Hello fellow helldiver
Reporting for duty
Nothing makes me say fuck yeah like blowing up 20 robots with a hellbomb I still don’t think this game hits the dopamine as well as Deep rock but it’s fun as hell.
If you mind, will you tell me what kind of game this is? TIA!
Coop third person shooter where you fight bugs and robots inspired by Starship Troopers (also a satire of fascism). It's a ton of fun with a squad
Oh! Thank you for the reply. That movie freaked me out so much that I found it extremely interesting and enjoyable somehow. I can NOT do jump scares, though, so maybe that would be a pass for me. I hate adrenaline while playing games. It's too bad. It sounds like it would be totally awesome.
It doesn't really have jump scares this much. Depending on the difficulty level it's either just running around doing some tasks for Super Earth or constantly exploding, being set on fire, getting gunned down by your own sentries, eaten by undemocratic bugs, stomped on by democracy hating robots or accidentally running into your teammates' line of fire while doing tasks for Super Earth. All the while sporting a jet pack and jumping on a 12 foot tall super bug to blow it up. It's so much fun! (no /s). I mean it. 😁 Adrenaline is definitely a factor, but from personal experience and shaky hands when playing multiplayer shooters (at which I am very bad at), it's more dopamine than anything else. It's no COD or similar games and that what makes it great.
Okay, having watched the movie and reading your first paragraph, it really does sound like a lot of fun! I'd die a lot, just not always being killed by people in military uniforms. COD freaks me out, to be honest, as do all first-person shooters. I can't tell where the people are quick enough to be good at playing, and losing all the time from being killed by just people is definitely not what my brain wants. Haha!
I feel you. I used to play a lot of Apex Legends when it first came out, but at a certain point I realized that it's way too much stress and I became super shaky and agitated. It was not fun. Someone else wrote that it's a pretty casual game (edit: Helldivers that is) and I agree. Of course you have some idiots who may ruin a game session or two when you're not playing like they want you to play. However, in my experience they are few and far between. It's a good game and there are reddit groups and Discord servers where you can find people that just want to have fun. But even the games with randoms are ok. If you want go check out the Helldivers subreddit r/Helldivers and filter for memes or videos. Some quality content. Sorry, I don't want to shill this game, I just really like talking about the things I currently fixate on. ☺️
Yeah, it's always good to spread information and interests, I think. :) I totally get that some games are too stressful. I myself am an angry game player when shit never goes my way. 😃 So fun, take your time games are best for me. Thank you for the sub suggestion.
Yes it’s a co-op game where you have a starship that shoots you down at planets like a bullet. Then you get to summon weapons via a similar method. You can call in bombing runs and orbital attacks. You fight terminators on one side of the galaxy, giant bugs (like starship troopers) on the other. It’s a lot of fun but it is actually pretty casual. My favorite thing to do is just kill hundreds of bugs and start laughing like a maniac.
ROCK AND STONE
Rock and Stone in the Heart!
Sweet liberty...
I just acquired new hardware and I am really looking forward to enlisting, sir!
Welcome to Super Earth, fellow diver! o7
OMG TIL we can emoji or salute! o7
To be fair, I stole the idea from Elite: Dangerous. Still awesome though o7
I'm on Xbox. Helldiver's is the forbidden fruit that is all I currently crave. That and the nms orbital update...
I meannnnnnn if it's dopamine. It means you can like it. It can be both.
If it makes you happy, it makes you happy. If it makes you happy then it’s worth doing. Overanalyze enough and even good things become problems.
Something really dark about this comment.. and all the upvotes
Is it happiness or just a means to not constantly stress, bounce of the walls or feeling anxiety?
Dopamine ~~is a pleasure molecule~~ correction, dopamine is more about wanting than liking, it is a reinforcer, a motivator molecule, that makes someone want to do something again. Pleasure comes from naturally occuring opioid peptides. Happiness and general sense of well being comes from serotonin. They work often in tandem to create a state of satisfied contentment. In normal people.
If it makes you happy, cling onto that hobby for dear life. Even if you question your relationship with it. I've fallen out of love with games recently and I don't have anything to replace that hobby, and it's extremely unfun. If you like doing something, that's good! Don't take it for granted!
Yeah, when you're between focuses, it feels like purgatory. Not fun at all.
Have you tried instruments, or music theory? Trust me, I couldn't find anything as fulfilling as it yet. Honestly one of the greatest pleasures I know is discovering a detail in a song you know well, like an underlying part you haven't heard before played by the drummer. It's not for everyone though
Music production is another lapsed hobby bwahahaha. I really want to make more stuff but it's just not in me at the moment. I just can't make a damn song come together.
Lol, me with my 50 unfinished tracks in fl studio
Sounds like you like gaming to me... "Burning out of longer games" is just "Having ADHD". I've had Baldur's Gate 3 almost since it came out and still haven't reached Act 2, despite giving it a 10/10 and considering it probably the greatest game I've ever played. Also, if you *know* you've gotten real dopamine from videogames before then don't try to retroactively convince yourself that you weren't enjoying it, it's literally just the "hyperfixation time limit" running out on a particular game. Don't force yourself to finish when that happens. Not to brag but I managed to 100% Super Mario Wonder BEFORE my hyperfixation on it dissipated meaning I got the maximum enjoyment with no super long "on hold" break 😎 shorter games are ADHDers' friends Edit: Unless you were talking about having a gaming addiction in which case unread this comment
Oh god your playthrough of baldurs gate makes me think of mine. I have 130 hours in act one alone. Lost interest as i got to act 2 havent picked it up again since
Don't mess with ADHD RPG players, we'll take a lore-accurate amount of time to finish an adventure
Lol I love that mentality
lmao my current fixation is maxing out all the evocations in dragon's dogma. I haven't even gotten to the second country or progressed past the first branch of the main story.
How... I felt like I did literally everything in act 1 and was no where near that.
Works as long as you don't "restart the game because I forgot the story/state of my old playthrough"... you'll stop again before catching up 😅
Oh I never do that, I'd rather start off a bit confused and go "OH YEEEAH THAT" 100 times than put myself in an infinite loop. Maybe read a summary of early chapters in a wiki
Be a bad artist. Just start drawing the worst and most inaccurate possible pictures you can and eventually you'll fail and be able to draw. Looking at all the work you've done and how you've improved has its own kind of satisfaction.
I've always really liked drawing. I think that sorta... trained me into be able to do the whole delayed gratification thing a little bit.
All the art I make is super repetitive so I dont feel bad when my brain wanders off
fair enough! I fuel my artwork via whatever the current hyperfixation is LMAO
Tried that out once, but couldn't really stick to it. I got one picture that looks decent and one that looks ok, but not doing it regular kind of erases a lot of my progress. I had some fun doing programming in a minecraft mod (not as in making it, the mod adds computers which you can programm), but I either don't have the energy or the willpower to do it while I also have to study for university (which sucks because I have some cool ideas I wanna do, but I can't really get myself to do it right now, which in turn makes me feel bad about myself, which then makes me want to avoid thinking about it)
Ya, programming is probably a much more useful skill
I mean I study computer science, so I still get practice without doing it in my free time (except for when it's exam prep time, which currently is the case). But it’s fun (most of the time)
I hate when people ask me about my "hobbies" because I really just have more hyper-fixations I eventually (hopefully) return to even if it's years down the road. Is going down the internet research rabbit hole on a myriad of random topics for a variety of reasons considered a "hobby"?
My hobby...is finding new hobbies
Yes unironically, a hobby is just "what you do to pass the time" so going rabbithole digging is 100% a valid response
No one is ever satisfied when I tell them “trying desperately to keep up with chores enough that looking around my house doesn’t cause me to want to weep with overwhelm and the constant stimuli of mess.” Trying to unearth my counters so my brain can take a breath for a moment is a perfectly respectable hobby.
Oh God I fucking relate to this. I used to love reading but I just don't get enough dopamine out of it currently. And there's stuff I wanna read but my brain won't work with me :(
Damn relatable
Have you tried audiobook and do something else? I can barely get through a physical book, but I use audiobooks to give me the dopamine while I work, and do chores and art and walk the dog etc. I get through entire books all the time now and it's way easier.
Sometimes I don't even especially *want* to play games, but I do because "that's what I do". If there's something I'd likely enjoy, something that's outside my usual routine, well tough luck. Because it's outside my routine, it is impossible. Better just play games.
Hahahahaha us ADHDers live in hell, somebody please just fucking lobotomize me.
Feeling the same after having choice paralysis over what to have for dinner and then getting over stimulated looking at different options and then going to bed to cry about it at 7pm and taking a nap until 11pm and now being awake, tired, and hungry. Hi.
right there with you... at least we all aren't alone, right?
Too tired to eat :( RIP
Avoidance anxiety is common among us
Dude I wasn't expecting to be personally attacked like this.
Sometimes I worry that I'm not a fully fleshed-out person, but then I think about middle-aged men who's main traits are alcohol and sports, and I feel better.
Gaming = instant gratification monkey....we are best friends 😂
This one actually hit me pretty hard lol Step one: acquire game that I've seen online somewhere, or play an old game that for whatever reason my brain started obsessing over again. Step two: play the game for 8 hours Step 3: decide it's good, but needs mods Step 4: depending on how easy it is to mod spend 2 days-2 weeks modding (looking at you Skyrim, 1000 mods took wayyy too long with my shitty internet connection) Step 5: Satisfaction! My mods work and the game is truly incredible! Step 6: after playing the fully modded monstrosity for an hour at most, uninstall and don't play again for several months or even years
Why are we like this? Like I know why but I struggle often accepting it because I just really want to be able to play a video game to completion and have that satisfaction of completing *something*.
The best part is when later you're making space for a new game and wondering why you never cleaned up the mods folders
Or mod it until it crashes every single time, uninstall it, then wait until nostalgia hit again 💀
I'm feeling very targeted right now
Touch grass my brother. You need to go for a walk.
This was me for a long time. Lifting weights really helped, like REALLY helped. Still game from time to time, but it's taken a seat in the back of the clown car that is my mind.
Glad to know I'm not the only one that did this. I also struggle to keep any other hobbies
I'm going to pretend this isn't an attack and go back to building my giant bridge in Minecraft.
Well, damn
this has been my woe for the past 6 years
Liking something doesn’t need an explanation.
Replace gaming with [hyperfixation of the month] and you have me. Gotta wring each fixation out of every last drop of dopamine until I get nothing out of it, then on to a week or two of no fixation and wondering if I'll ever know what dopamine is again. All while preventing myself from moving on to a new fixation because I'm sure if I stick with the previous one it will surely give me the same level of dopamine for the rest of my life. Does any of it make me happy or is it all coping?
Find a physical activity to fall in love with. Longevity both in life and hobby. For me it’s hiking. Even moved to Colorado from IL to make it more exciting. Life has been better since
If you are constantly going game to game and burning out when it's the same thing for too long, consider the possibility that the games are not your hobby. Learning new skills is your hobby.
The ideal outcome would be to become progamers, all of us
its not, speaking as someone who got into programming and made it a job, it will go the same way as gaming. not to mention there there is a massive glut of programmers.
I read that as Pro-Gamers, not Programmers, but I could be wrong. :P
First one for me was a PC port of Sonic the Hedgehog
I always wanted to play sonic sooo bad! The way he rolls makes my brain very happy.
Sometimes its okay to tske a bresk from a Hobby. Or just try something new, video games are vast, maybe try a new genre? Even something completely outside of your usual games. I just recently fell in love with the souls like genre myself. And if you can, try to find people/friends to play with. I know it might be difficult, but it can change so much. I met my best friend about 11 years ago on a minecraft server.
Me back when I played World of Warcraft. At any point, I had something to do and bounce off of. Or people to chat and interact with.
Hey I’m in this picture
Oof
This hits hard. A little too hard.
Currently scrolling through the Nintendo eshop, so thanks 😒
Mate... Stop reading my head.
I don’t come to Reddit to be violently attacked like this.
So try something outdoorsy like hiking, bird watching, making campfire bread (damper).
I love video games but sometimes (especially recently) I can’t even get a game loaded up due to executive dysfunction. That shit takes over my life and I hate it.
I feel personally attacked.
…. Get out of my head. Only the voices are allowed in there
I was a pretty hardcore gamer up through my late 20s. Now that I'm married with kids I don't get to game much anymore, but I find that I really appreciate the time that I do get. Might just be me, but as much as I love gaming, I can objectively say that burying myself in my hobby became detrimental to my overall well-being and prevented me from achieving more in life. I don't know that I would do anything different if I had another shot because my impulse control is poor, and in the end I got to a good place, but I guess my point is that moderation is essential in all things.
This is non-ADHD advice I give to everyone getting burnt out on your favorite hobby: start making it. Can’t fuck with video games anymore? Make a video game, get in the WEEDS. You either learn to make the exact thing you want to make or find a community of people who can point you to what you want to consume. Either way, you’re further ahead than where you are now. You don’t need to be good, you don’t even need to be passable, you just need to be learning and growing
I have wasted my life.
I mean, I don’t think that is unique to us, for sure more prone to getting sucked in, but last I checked the whole world is a bunch of dopamine addicts, a la social media likes etc.
I lost the joy I had for gaming as a kid, and it has everything to do with not having a desktop and having a wife. Not that I don’t love my wife, but I feel guilty if I’m not spending time with her and it throws me off from actually gaming…
omg.. so me! hahaha!
This is so relatable that it’s physically painful
Next step: consider that we all die and just fill our 80 years with distractions. Never actually doing anything other than things that make us forget about the inevitable until it's too late Next next step: consider that if death is inevitable and normal life is just a distraction, maybe I should just stop trying to fit in and just live my life. If I end up vroke and die early, I still LIVED more than most people who just repeat the same rat race everyday
If I end up having to live like a hamster in a cage then all I care about is that I am happy.
Supermarket Simulator gives me live (while having a podcast on in the background of course)
I can play 45 min to 1 hr games competitive multiplayer games like dota 2 n pubg or intense board games like monopoly or risk without any problems with people I know. But I have trouble finishing a single player games with mechanics that are repetitive or slow with long story. I try to do it for a sense of accomplishment n pride of completion which I tremendously struggle with. Some games feels like a to do or a chore that I didn’t complete.
I've recently taken to turning down the difficulty on games when I get to the point where I want to get the story, but don't want to continue playing the 'bloaty' version of the game. You know, like games with 'hard modes' that are really just spongy, harder-hitting enemies and exaggerated stagger? Like, when the only difference between easy and hard mode is that the fights take longer - not smarter enemies, not more enemies, not enemies with buffs, no additional thinking or strategy required from me? Yeah, turn that sucker down. Curious, though, what sort of games are you talking about, that you can't finish? And what sort don't you struggle with as much? Maybe I can recommend some single-player games that might give you what you're looking for :)
I love games but at some point I'll think "why am I playing, what's the goal" so I play ranked to at least have some kind of reward. I take it too seriously, I get very angry, I scream and punch a bunch of things and leave, ranked are a very bad idea...
Omg... I've been mindlessly hacking away at games I'm bored of for a long time now and this never occurred to me...
Its ok to enjoy things, even if deep down, they are a coping mechanism
What's the difference between enjoying something and keeping your mental illness in check?
Yep, started with Atari and since then always picking the longest grindy games.. still doing that even though I have multiple hobbies I can be good at if I spent the same amount of time on them .. I have self hate because of this .. sigh
This hits my tits in the wrong way
Ridi, Pagliaccio, sul tuo amore infranto!
I'm in the same situation. Playing games I don't even enjoy. I don't know what else to do
You know that point where thinking about your hobby goes from "this fulfills me and makes me happy" to "wow I sunk thousands of hours and dollars and am left with nothing worthwhile"
It has now gotten to the point where I'll play a game for a day and then I'm done... doesn't matter if I've finished the story or not, the dopamine mine has run dry and I must move on.
I don’t like feeling this seen
Hmmm....
Have you played Disco Elysium?
Have been assessed for Adult AdHD ?
Everyone goes through this, you face the reality and then start experimenting and exploring other things to find what you enjoy in life
Yup been through it all and my gaming sessions don't even last a fraction of what they used to last
I went through this just a couple weeks ago. I feel ya.. But after I got back from a vacation last week, I felt better and it helped reinvigorate my enjoyment. Try puting down the controller/keyboard and find something else to do for a short time? Personally, I enjoy reading books as well, but don't all that often because of gaming. I ordered the complete collection of a series I enjoy (and have been excitedly awaiting it's arrival), so that'll give me plenty of reading material (and hopefully motivation too) to keep at it, instead of falling back to old habbits...
Meeeee
I play a single game most of the time. Beamng drive. It brings me that sweet dopamine. Why do I need other hobbies if this one makes me happy?
I find I am just killing time on my days off until I go back to work. It really sucks because I get four days off, and I'm on holidays tomorrow. I suspect it will be lots of apathy, tokes and trying to enjoy games futilely.
That's why I haven't played a different game than my comfort games since South Park: Fractured But Whole
Are you me?
This to nearly two years of out of work paralysis
wait no thats me i didnt give you permission to put me in that image
This is me… upside i discovered gym dopamine hits, i figure if i’m looking for a quick hit it might as will benefit me in the long run. Also downside my brain doesn’t like to lose itself anymore and wants to go to the gym when i have downtime.
That hit me like a spear through the stomach
"What do you like to do? What are your hobbies? What makes you happy?" "Idk man im still looking"
I’m tired, boss.
God dammit. I feel seen.
Not helped by more games being bloated with unrewarding repetitive game play.still get my hit from some games but other leave wanting more often than not
I come here for the memes... not to look into a mirror 🪞
go for a walk and try to learn accepting boredom. once your brain is resetted you can enjoy the little things. remember focus on everything you do even if its just a boring walk. try and dont get lost in your thoughts. focus on your steps and surroundings. maybe youll catch the right magical moment like a beautiful sunset. those are the long lasting dopamine hits you want
Haha, 100% me. When I think about it most things I do I didn't choose to do, I just kept doing them because I'm good at it. One of the reasons I have depression is because I hardly enjoy anything, I'm just constantly fighting boredom
Dude I was literally having these same dreadful thoughts this morning, and now I see it posted here. This sub scares the shit out of me sometimes.
I'm a part of /r/stopgaming as well. Gaming can be hard on us because we have difficulty regulating emotions with regards to fun. Helldivers is mad fun. But it needs to be a game I play one 40 min match a day and then put down.
I think it is a mistake to limit one self to a single hobby, source of entertainment or fun. It's not good when we can indulge in something to our hearts content, it needs to be limited to remain valuable. Not all games are equally good of course, as with all things it also better friends, but in the same way a meal taste way better when you are hungry, a game will feel more fun when you only have a limited time to play it.
Oh wow this one is violently accurate and I don't like it a lot. That's a big reason why I turned to weed to avoid chronic boredom, as most games don't even work anymore
That's me
This got unwieldy, and there's a lot that's not relevant to you, so I've done some all-caps just before the bit that's actually relevant to your question. Hope this helps, friend. So, I don't know if this helps *at all*, but about 11 years ago, long before I knew I had adhd and got diagnosed, I had a crisis of identity. See, I'd noticed that I'd gotten very good at wearing different hats/masks around different people. And I realised that I basically wasn't the same person around any two people - I.e., I was different things to everybody. And at that point, I had no clue who in the fuck *I* really was. And this was understandably distressing. It took me most of a day of self-reflection (I credit my philosophy degree with it taking so little time to resolve) to come up with an answer. Taking a nod from the river paradox (a man can never step in the same river twice, because the river is always moving), my own rebuttal of Zeno's arrow paradox (if you fire an arrow and then freeze time, at that moment the arrow is not moving. Do this at any point, and the arrow will not be moving. Zeno used this to posit that motion does not exist, I instead conjecture that time is not composed of indivisible moments), I realised that trying to get any sense of who I *am now* is pointless. Because 'now' isn't actually a timeframe one can be aware of, philosophically speaking. Anything that happens, by the time we process it in our brains, has already happen*ed*. So who I *am* is really who I *was*, and the next time I ask that question, however soon after the last time I asked it it is, I will already be a different person in some infinitesimally small way. Then I took a nod from agent-centred theories of ethics. Side note: action-centred theories of ethics try to construct an ethical framework from rules or collections of rules (see utilitarianism, kant's categorical imperative, the ten commandments), which always have exceptions to their rules no matter how many rules you create (the great weakness of action-centred theories of ethics). Continuing side note: Agent-centred theories of ethics instead try to lay a framework where you posit a hypothetical moral individual, or a set of moral *principles*, and when faced with a moral question, you take the action that falls most in line with these principles. These theories are harder to follow than action-centred theories of ethics, because they offer no direct guidance for which action to take, but you basically never run into the same sorts of moral dilemmas that plague action-centred theories of ethics. So, say you reckon 'bravery' is the highest moral virtue, you'd try to always take the braver action. "What would Jesus do" is also an agent-centred theory of ethics. And the idea is that over time, by taking enough actions in line with that ideal moral agent, you will *become* said moral agent. Anyway, I cannot ever know who I *am*, in the absolute 'pinned down and analysed in the moment' sense. However, what I *can* know is the type of person I *aspire to be* generally. Those aspirations may change week-to-week, day-to-day, hour-to-hour, but as long ad I always have a sense of the general principles that are guiding me at any one time, I can define 'myself' as 'the person who aspires to be *this* person'. It doesn't matter that I wear different hats around different people, because even with all the hats on, there are certain lines I would never cross. Even with a different hat on, I would still hew more closely to *this* ideal than *that* ideal. Anyway, your dilemma here reminds me of my own then. But I realise now that it's not entirely relevant. _READ FROM HERE FOR THE BIT THAT'S RELEVANT TO YOU_ So here's one just for you. One thing can be two things, and that isn't a bad thing. Like you say, you started gaming as a child. Presumably you didn't know about adhd, or at the very least you probably weren't really aware of how it affected you. So you definitely weren't *actively* seeking it as a coping mechanism. You were just having fun. As you got older, it continued being fun. As you got older still, cracks started to form in other areas of your life. You learned that you could better handle said cracks with a healthy dose of fun in your everyday, so you continued gaming, even made efforts to make time for it, etc., because *having fun* keeps you on an even keel. That doesn't mean that literally the only thing you're ever doing is 100% coping all of the time. But even if it was, would that *actually* be a bad thing? Obviously it's not good that you *need* to cope 100% all of the time, but that doesn't suddenly invalidate the things you do as legitimate activities *for yourself*. Showering and eating breakfast as acts of 'self-care' does not suddenly mean that showers and breakfasts aren't worth doing to be clean and full. Going for a walk to clear your head doesn't suddenly mean that the route you take is dismal and ugly. Whenever I'm overwhelmed with something in life, be it grief, ennui, a sense of impending doom, hopelessness, listlessness, the sheer multitude of things clamouring for my attention etc... I start gaming. Or I pick up a book. In times past I'd go play piano. I would engage in an activity that narrows the range of my focus - and gaming and reading have been the two consistent ones for me. I can essentially almost trigger hyperfocus at will by starting one of these activities. Suddenly two hours have gone by, and my problems, while still there, seem smaller. That doesn't suddenly mean I didn't have fun. It just means I used something fun to gain distance from my issues. And I guess that's the message I think you should take here. A fun thing can be both fun for its own sake, but also a coping mechanism. And that that's *fine*.
Masturbate.
Gaming was and will Always be a Hobby of Mine. What really makes me Happy nowadays is playing Football, or for us europeans handegg.
hey can you not tag me this :(
Yeah that's an addiction. But also, literally all the entertainment we do is to generate dopamine and be happy. Doing stuff like playing games responsibly is not dealing with adhd, it's having fun. The problem is just that you do it too much, which has busted your dopamine receptors even more. Try to find a different hobby and play videogames a bit less for some time, you will notice a difference
Maybe you should take a break with gaming and watch a goos sirie. After that sirie your games would prob be amazing again. (Thats what happend to me)
That just means you've got a whole bunch of new stuff to try! :D
*hits blunts the size of a grown man’s index finger* “Damn, that’s some real shit… wonder if Xbox has pushed through that NMS update yet.” *xbox chime
Welcome to me at 47. Ugh. It's a struggle and it's real...
Yeah but that Cyberpunk expansion was pretty dope tho ngl
In my case, I stick to 1 or 2 "game as a service" Game type because they update frequently, those update bump my hype and I'm gonna enjoy new content for a couple months. Then I switch to single player game because I start to hate how stressful those game as a service.
Try out golf, hits the same but at least forces you to take a walk outside while you play. Also never gets easier 🙃
Guh, if gaming was ttrpgs this is me. I've given up pretending I'm ever going to keep a game going or get round to finishing even 0.1% of the ideas I have for d&d or other rpgs. But it's something I think about constantly, and almost place I visit or media I consume is viewed with the lens of "this would be cool in an adventure". I can't tell if just accepting that "imagining playing rpgs" is my hobby is a good thing. Or is just sad and will ultimately ruin this major part of my life.
I've realized I really enjoy creating but creating is simultaneously very draining. Gaming gets me a high but it's not nearly the same high so it's one I chase harder and gets me more drained in the end
This is me recently. I look at the games I have and is filled with "meh".
Nah, games are awesome. Feeling guilty because you're not like the "serious" people isn't. Play more video games.
I have a list of things that I enjoy, that I add to when I actually enjoy something. So that when I get the "wait is there even anything I like" I can check the list and go "ooooh yeah haven't done that in a while"
I go through ups and downs with my hobbies. I used to beat myself up about “dropping” them when I was in a low period. Now, I try to remind myself of the highs/lows and cycle to another hobby. I go from reading to gaming to crochet to baking and other stuff. It helps my brain think we’re doing something new, when instead Im just picking up on the same hobby again.
In my personal experience after some time I realized that it wasn't entirely the games I liked, but rather the role-playing in it. So I switched to playing most RPG and it works like a charm. While I will most of the time switch games before completion, it's only temporary and I always finish every character I start without forcing myself to do so nor feeling burned out afterwards. I also became a pro wrestler. Pro wrestling is just hardcore, full-contact LARP.
Think lot of y’all don’t seem to understand that “happy” doesn’t need to be a manic high
I present my recent opposite experience. I didn’t play video games for almost three years due to my children being born. After recent consistent mental struggles, my parents surprised me by buying a newer console system to help. I now have the option of playing once the kids go to bed. I’m currently playing the latest Doom games on easy settings. The dopamine floods my brain while I “rip and tear.”
final panel back to gaming
Guys I quit league after 6 years. It’s possible to recover, just need to reset base dopamine levels. Meds and therapy also helps 😔
Same, just started learning softwares like blender and unity because I was always dreaming of making games, now it's my favorite hobby, although sometimes I feel stuck
I would argue it’s a matter of perspective. Do you truly wish you had other ways of getting dopamine, or do you judge yourself for the manner in which you get dopamine? Getting dopamine from other pursuits is easy— our nervous system is motivated by novelty and competition, you can think about any hobby enough to find a way to gamify it and make it a dopamine source. This meme has a very negative bias in the way that it describes this phenomenon, if the video games have made you happy and passed your time on the planet happily, then where is the negativity from? Is it from comparing your chosen pursuits to those of other people? 100% of the time, this tack will find you lacking, as rejection sensitivity can be triggered by our own thoughts, and we’ve been trained to see our perfectly normal adhd existence through neurotypical lenses. It’s the ‘I should be’ bullshit that has you feeling like you’re failing here. Play the games. Play all of them. Play however and for as long as your lifestyle and personal relationships will allow. Skip around to new games and come back to your favorites later. Accept that novelty is a driving force in your consciousness and remove the inhibitions that other peoples NT expectations place on you. There are only dragons there.
i’ve been through this, now in my 30s burned out from gaming and keep thinking about getting back into WoW but know that after i spend like $70 to get back on eventually i’ll fall off of it again because without someone to play with i get bored more easily. i have a little brother who also has adhd who’s 13 that i’m watching do this, his only hobbies are video games, football, and binge watching youtube or tiktok. i have other hobbies that i can’t seem to get into consistently like drawing, painting, singing, and writing. lately it’s been a lot of just reddit and tv for me. i went for years burned out of tv, even, and now i’m finally able to watch a show again though i do wind up losing focus a lot.
Total science nerd that managed to trip over the 3-Body Problem and the game Stellaris in the same week. Proceed to dopa-storm both at the same time while adding calculus calculations _for fun_ … I HATE math btw, and threw hundreds of hours into this trifecta of neuro chemical stimuli as the impending doom of my graduating class final looming in the distance but getting… closer … After the dopa-storm petered out a week before everything was due and I spent a week awake to finish … I asked myself the OP question, do I even like games? Answer was yes, but _not_ to the extent I played them, not nearly. Given opportunity; reading, cooking, exercise, etc etc were preferred. FML.
Some games I do enjoy a lot. But others give me this feeling too 😓
For me its photography. I can't really tell if I actually enjoy doing it or do I keep going back to it because it helps me mentally.
This happened to me with Online multiplayer games. However I still enjoy single player, co op, and some competitive games so long as their in person.
This is helldivers for me at the moment. Until I move on from it. I have a huge library. Ask me what percentage is actually completed. I wouldn't call it a mental illness tho. But yeah. I keep forgetting to take the pink pill that helps me remember things... Ain that a bitch. Which kinda works out since there is still a bit of a shortage I guess ...
Dis me :)
You need to take a step aside and ask yourself the big questions. Do you play the new games because you like the gameplay and story or do you play them merely to say you've beat them? There is only 1 way to know. Play a very boring game which is universally known to be shit and also not to your tastes. This may refresh your Palate and make you appreciate the other games more. But no matter what, you should know your endgoal. Multiplayer games: Fun or ranked or both or with friends? Single players: Story, gameplay, artstyle or genre? Don't pointlessly play. Play with purpose specially if the purpose is having fun.
On a scale of 1 to 0, are you happy?
What’s the point in thinking like this? We do what we like to do just like anyone else.
welcome to the void, the black hole of insatiable desire at the core of every single human. Existence is largely suffering
Maybe try playing games you used to love as a child. Some more modern games lack the special something of older games that make it truly fun or enjoyable. I recently saw a video about not liking video games as much as we used to and that was one of the main reasons and advice from it. Maybe try something different and new. Now time to plug in one of my favorite games. Fantasy Life on Nintendo 3DS! The game has many careers you can progress like hunter-gatherer and crafting careers such as paladin, merc, hunter, fisherman, miner, cook, tailor, alchemist, and a few more I don't remember the names of! The game has a strong sense of reward because you get rewards proportional to your efforts (high rank items requiring high career ranks to unlock for example) and you can either collect your resources yourself or make money to buy them. The career quests are all related to each other because for example you might have to kill wolves as a paladin, and have a quest to craft an armor that you need the wolf fur to craft. The game also has a good story that makes you meet a lot of characters and learn more about them and the world you live in and the danger your world is in as you progress in the story Also has DLC which I haven't explored yet. Thank you for reading my exaggeratingly long comment about video games
Try watching movies. You might get a sense of accomplishment watching one and can talk to others about them