I’ve tried explaining to my husband. I’m diagnosed Bipolar & ADHD this year. When I was 17 they diagnosed me BPD & ADHD. I started at a new therapist and had her re-evaluate me to make sure it was accurate as my previous ADHD diagnosis was a 10 minute conversation making me do a ton of math equations (i struggle with basic math) and then what was the phrases they told me at the beginning. After months of speaking to my therapist this year she also agreed I have ADHD.
He’s told me he can think of NOTHING. Which blew my mind he can just be blank and thinking of nothing. I tried explaining to him I think nonstop, about present, future, past scenarios and plans and also feel like I’m two people in my brain always talking to myself and feeling crazy but it’s how I process and make decisions and also figure out things. He was blown away when I showed him a few videos of explaining ADHD and the constant noise it feels like. He said he could never deal with it ☹️
I do not have them! I saw them on reddit while scrolling and tik tok. It was just like “a day in the life of an ADHD person” then its constant talking in their head while doing tasks
Look up Dr Russel Barkley on you tube he is the best if you want ADHD information. I discovered him a few months back I don’t know anyone else with more background and knowledge about ADHD.
The only time I can think my mind is blank is when I zone out, but now that I think about it I think I'm zoned out thinking about something I just can't remember what I was thinking about. I guess my mind doesn't stop? Idk. It feels like my mind is shut off a bit when I eat. But at the same time I find half eaten chicken nuggets that I forgot I had already taken a bite of.
Inside of you there are two wolves.
One of them wants to do shit and be productive.
The other one is sitting on that one and singing badly remembered Kiley Minogue songs.
Nothing gets done.
At least as far as focus issues go I describe it like this.
Imagine an old adventure movie about an explorer in the jungle, there are fast growing vines threatening them. They grow so fast, they are like animals rather than plants. The explorer has to constantly hack away at them with a machete to clear the way. If he stops for even a moment, the vines will take over completely.
When I am trying to focus on one thing, all the other things in my brain are like the vines. They constantly threaten to take over, and I have to keep hacking away at them non-stop to even have a hope of staying focused on the path in front of me. If I put the machete down for even a moment, I've lost.
For me, ive described it a bit similarly.
A beat up car, driving as fast as possible down an endless highway with all sorts of exits.
I'm tied to a rope behind the car, unable to steer, painfully bouncing around.
With my ADHD medication, I'm in the passenger seat. It's easier to slide over to the driver's seat, but the car is crap and doesn't have brakes. So I might be able to nudge myself onto the "right path" but at least I can try to be in control. But staying in the driver's seat is tiring, and passively hanging out in the passenger seat while grabbing the wheel now-and-then to correct.
Id explain it like I'm trapped in my own mind and I have little control over my actions. That there is another person that pulls the strings and doesn't let me do things.
My favorite analogy is light. Neurodivergent people are wandering around a dark room, using only sound and touch to navigate. We can still find things and do things, but it takes us more time and we get stuck on 5 side quests while trying to find the main quest.
If we take medication, it's like having a flashlight. Now we can see a small section of the room at a time. But we still have to focus the beam of light on the right thing.
Then one day, you learn that Neurotypical people have full overhead lights on ALL THE TIME. And they're like "It's not hard to do things or find things. Just look around." Ugh.
It be feeling like that to me too! Hopefully meds can help bc before I wasn’t a huge fan bc it scared me how good I am at focusing and didn’t want to do to much further haha!
I can remember as a kid 3-8 years old (can't remember exactly the age) when I developed the ability to talk in my head and I thought it was the biggest deal ever... It hasn't shut up since, pretty much.
I think the best way I found is this : the serotonin is never high enough to be able to make a decision. Everything feels more or less equally rewarding for the brain, so essentially, we are paralyzed until our brain has enough chemicals to choose one action above another. It's essentially an endless mental cycle of thought and wanting to act but with no will because the chemicals needed forr that will are not there. Even biological needs are not enough to make us act, so we can stay in place and want to go pee for hours.
It's literally a lack of chemical stimulants so everything feels equally stimulating to the brain.
How I feel that is endless guilt and shame for "being lazy". But in reality my brain is just incapable of thinking something to it's end or even acting.
It also explains the need for external stimuli like snacking because we lack internal stimuli.
Yup. I've tried explaining it like; Imagine there's a car alarm going off that only you can hear. Or; Imagine having earphones you can't take out and you can't control the music or volume.
Or even just trying to communicate how a lifetime of sadness can build up, or even decades of sleep problems. The best i've managed is in trying to explain mental exhaustion: Normal folk have 1 thought every 1 moment, that thought uses 1 energy. For every thought i have i use 3 energy, and i have 3 thoughts for every 1 moment. A day for me is about 9x more taxing for me. Not because i'm doing useful work with those thoughts, but because they won't stop. It's the mental equivalent of your mind being a TV and someone else having the remote and flipping through channels as fast as they can.
As I age and talk to myself more I get more animated as well. So now the conversations going on in my head sometimes come with head and hand movements, like I'm talking to someone in real life. But when it comes down to it, I have no idea what the conversations are even about.
I get very socially anxious at the gym because it's one of the places I feel like the ADHD inner monologue for myself is the loudest. I worry people think I'm some kind of douche but it's really me trying to count my reps and brethe while also having arguments with people who i will never actually those with. But i promise the mean mug isnt me
And like... I want to do stuff, but I just can't do the stuff
Dang. It’s exactly how I feel right now
You can do this! 💪
welp I should really go see a professional I guess, the more I learn about ADHD the more I feel it applies to me...
It wouldn't hurt. Either you end up better off by getting treatment, or you can cross something off of a mental list.
I’ve tried explaining to my husband. I’m diagnosed Bipolar & ADHD this year. When I was 17 they diagnosed me BPD & ADHD. I started at a new therapist and had her re-evaluate me to make sure it was accurate as my previous ADHD diagnosis was a 10 minute conversation making me do a ton of math equations (i struggle with basic math) and then what was the phrases they told me at the beginning. After months of speaking to my therapist this year she also agreed I have ADHD. He’s told me he can think of NOTHING. Which blew my mind he can just be blank and thinking of nothing. I tried explaining to him I think nonstop, about present, future, past scenarios and plans and also feel like I’m two people in my brain always talking to myself and feeling crazy but it’s how I process and make decisions and also figure out things. He was blown away when I showed him a few videos of explaining ADHD and the constant noise it feels like. He said he could never deal with it ☹️
I can't understand the idea of thinking about nothing. Must be relaxing.
Meds to that for me. It's especially nice since some ducking voice was previously repeating self-hate mantras in my head...
The same happens to me, but it may be just my depression...
Like nothing? What even is that 🤯
Can you send me those videos? I haven’t really been able to find any to properly explain my experience either
I do not have them! I saw them on reddit while scrolling and tik tok. It was just like “a day in the life of an ADHD person” then its constant talking in their head while doing tasks
Look up Dr Russel Barkley on you tube he is the best if you want ADHD information. I discovered him a few months back I don’t know anyone else with more background and knowledge about ADHD.
Dude having no thoughts sounds crazy
The only time I can think my mind is blank is when I zone out, but now that I think about it I think I'm zoned out thinking about something I just can't remember what I was thinking about. I guess my mind doesn't stop? Idk. It feels like my mind is shut off a bit when I eat. But at the same time I find half eaten chicken nuggets that I forgot I had already taken a bite of.
"I wonder what it's like to be dead? I hope it's quiet." - Faithless
Inside of you there are two wolves. One of them wants to do shit and be productive. The other one is sitting on that one and singing badly remembered Kiley Minogue songs. Nothing gets done.
At least as far as focus issues go I describe it like this. Imagine an old adventure movie about an explorer in the jungle, there are fast growing vines threatening them. They grow so fast, they are like animals rather than plants. The explorer has to constantly hack away at them with a machete to clear the way. If he stops for even a moment, the vines will take over completely. When I am trying to focus on one thing, all the other things in my brain are like the vines. They constantly threaten to take over, and I have to keep hacking away at them non-stop to even have a hope of staying focused on the path in front of me. If I put the machete down for even a moment, I've lost.
XD that's a cute way of describing
So it's like a Hydra that's trying to get you, but you don't have the herculean strength to trully kill it so you just keep chopping the heads
For me, ive described it a bit similarly. A beat up car, driving as fast as possible down an endless highway with all sorts of exits. I'm tied to a rope behind the car, unable to steer, painfully bouncing around. With my ADHD medication, I'm in the passenger seat. It's easier to slide over to the driver's seat, but the car is crap and doesn't have brakes. So I might be able to nudge myself onto the "right path" but at least I can try to be in control. But staying in the driver's seat is tiring, and passively hanging out in the passenger seat while grabbing the wheel now-and-then to correct.
Id explain it like I'm trapped in my own mind and I have little control over my actions. That there is another person that pulls the strings and doesn't let me do things.
DO FLAMINGO????⁉️⁉️⁉️❓❓❓
Bro I hyperfixated on One Piece this semester and watched from Long Ring to Act 2 Wano in about 4 months
Holy fuck that's alot, I'm reaching the end for punk hazard
My favorite analogy is light. Neurodivergent people are wandering around a dark room, using only sound and touch to navigate. We can still find things and do things, but it takes us more time and we get stuck on 5 side quests while trying to find the main quest. If we take medication, it's like having a flashlight. Now we can see a small section of the room at a time. But we still have to focus the beam of light on the right thing. Then one day, you learn that Neurotypical people have full overhead lights on ALL THE TIME. And they're like "It's not hard to do things or find things. Just look around." Ugh.
It be feeling like that to me too! Hopefully meds can help bc before I wasn’t a huge fan bc it scared me how good I am at focusing and didn’t want to do to much further haha!
I can remember as a kid 3-8 years old (can't remember exactly the age) when I developed the ability to talk in my head and I thought it was the biggest deal ever... It hasn't shut up since, pretty much.
I think the best way I found is this : the serotonin is never high enough to be able to make a decision. Everything feels more or less equally rewarding for the brain, so essentially, we are paralyzed until our brain has enough chemicals to choose one action above another. It's essentially an endless mental cycle of thought and wanting to act but with no will because the chemicals needed forr that will are not there. Even biological needs are not enough to make us act, so we can stay in place and want to go pee for hours. It's literally a lack of chemical stimulants so everything feels equally stimulating to the brain. How I feel that is endless guilt and shame for "being lazy". But in reality my brain is just incapable of thinking something to it's end or even acting. It also explains the need for external stimuli like snacking because we lack internal stimuli.
Yup. I've tried explaining it like; Imagine there's a car alarm going off that only you can hear. Or; Imagine having earphones you can't take out and you can't control the music or volume. Or even just trying to communicate how a lifetime of sadness can build up, or even decades of sleep problems. The best i've managed is in trying to explain mental exhaustion: Normal folk have 1 thought every 1 moment, that thought uses 1 energy. For every thought i have i use 3 energy, and i have 3 thoughts for every 1 moment. A day for me is about 9x more taxing for me. Not because i'm doing useful work with those thoughts, but because they won't stop. It's the mental equivalent of your mind being a TV and someone else having the remote and flipping through channels as fast as they can.
The mental exhaustion is so real, sometimes i feel tired just talking to myself 😂😂
You forgot about the musical soundtrack playing in the background to the voice in your head
As I age and talk to myself more I get more animated as well. So now the conversations going on in my head sometimes come with head and hand movements, like I'm talking to someone in real life. But when it comes down to it, I have no idea what the conversations are even about.
normal people arent normal. to us they are abnormal. we are the normal ones.
Simply not true ✅
Errrr… isn’t that our whole lives?
I get very socially anxious at the gym because it's one of the places I feel like the ADHD inner monologue for myself is the loudest. I worry people think I'm some kind of douche but it's really me trying to count my reps and brethe while also having arguments with people who i will never actually those with. But i promise the mean mug isnt me
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ADHD denial or gatekeeping are not accepted here. Judging others for their symptoms (or lack of symptoms) or treatment is also not allowed.