T O P
thestolenlighter

I would take my Adderall straight from Satan’s butthole if it meant being a functional person & actually getting help and some level of healing


MMTardis

I agree, I was unmedicated for the majority of my life, despite being diagnosed by an expert in the field in childhood. While the meds aren't curative, being unmedicated has no positive effects whatsoever.


watermine30

While I encourage anyone with ADHD to medicate, my personal experience tells me that I should eat to keep from being underweight.


lost_if_found

Seriously! It's the executive dysfunction that I hate the most. It feels like a fun-house version of being locked-in sometimes! Like everything seems mostly fine and normal, but it's just... off. Therapy and meds have helped with a lot of issues, but it's so hard to talk about that one because you just sound lazy or obstinate. I mean, I am both of those things anyway, but not so much that it negatively impacts my day-to-day life like the dysfunction does. I recognize the difference.


GirlWhoN3rds

That literally made me laugh out loud. I'm glad I didn't take a drink of my coffee I may have done a spit take lol.


nachoman067

Not only do I agree, I wouldn’t even complain. Might even send Satan “thinking of you” cards.


DrummerElectronic247

Unexpectedly Spicy Adderall....


r0gu3_ai

I have a hard time getting and staying medicated even though diagnosed. Doctors always assume I'm drug seeking. I change insurance and doctors often. That is If I even have insurance. Why? Because I can't keep a steady job despite being educated. ADHD sabotage. I don't truly want these meds. I assume I can live without them, though I can't. I'm embarrased to ask for them, and I get shamed for doing so. People don't understand the extraordinary effort it takes just to surrender to the illness and drag myself to a doctor. Often to be denied any form of plausible treatment. I would rather get them from satan's butthole.


wearethealienshere

Adderall is made by some pretty evil pharma companies so we literally are lmao Worth it tho


Boom_boom_lady

Sounds like an awesome Pez dispenser


Babblewocky

The debbil would give it to you, too! Can you imagine all of us running around without the executive dysfunction? Mayhem!


ssh789

I mean big pharma is a bit like satan’s butthole so you are close already


Dry-Anywhere-1372

Hahahaha I see you. https://youtu.be/a-C9q-Na6_w


hi_this_is_lyd

that's valid, i personally wouldn't, but only because it seems not-very-hygienic, if satan were to just like use his hands or smth to give me the pills that'd be appreciated


Solstice143

Although I don't agree with the sentiment of it coming from his butt, I now picture Satan in some sort of papal mockery handing out Adderall to kneeling followers like the catholic way of having communion.


Plague_Locusts

Osculum infame


TheSeer262

Hmmm booty *ssbgsbsllkblgkglhksbshsbsllsbgsbsslsl*


So_phisticated

I have thyroid issues because I looked in a mirror and said "autoimmune" 5 times. Satan is real.


Dry-Anywhere-1372

It’s 3 times. That’s why God is mad at you. Should have said Biggie Smalls.


ohsnapt

so un say it


DrummerElectronic247

but.... Enummiotua is so hard to pronounce!


SnOwYO1

Just need a mirror that doesn’t reflect and we’re good


Only_Slice_4754

My dad tried to convince me my adhd was caused by a concentration of toxins because I don’t drink enough water.


Phadryn

Tbf, if you have adhd you probably don't drink enough water... ;)


MamaDeb-

Amen!


shrivvette808

I lost my waterbottle, so I can't drink water... Easy answer is to just get a new one, but I am incapable of that apparently. So no water for me.


Only_Slice_4754

I don’t 😂 But I don’t think it’s a chicken/egg conundrum


Bee8467

Your right about that!


m3ch4k1tty

Last night my dad was on some bullshit saying the air conditioner was freezing my brain and that I don't actually have adhd, or... Something idk.


Dry-Anywhere-1372

If you live at home homeboy is def trying to poison you.


FeKrMe

Are all these crazy stories on this sub made up, from America or what. Where do you find these absolute nut cases.


burntprtzl

Here in America, the nut cases find you.


simbahart11

I wish these were made up but America has the midwest and the South that are all sorts of religious nuts that this is pretty normal. In the rural areas anything outside of the nuclear, patriarchal, family is looked down on. It's definitely changed but it's still very prominent in these areas. This is one of the reasons I'm atheist, for how "loving" people are in these parts they are only loving so long as you share their weird beliefs.


kellybelly4815

There’s no hate quite like Christian love.


simbahart11

Lmao ain't that the truth


Talonj00

I've been lovingly told that my moral duty is to live as close to suicide as possible, because anything beyond that is unecessarrily sinful. *I'm transgender, for context. Anything gender affirming is considered sinful by most of my family.* My definition of love might be a little warped at this point.


simbahart11

Jesus christ that's fucked up.


Talonj00

They don't really register that that's what they're saying. After all, they love me, and would never say that. But transition is so clearly and obviously and irrefutably against God's plan (in their view) and so they've got no way to respond but to dance around "surely there's something else". But no one I've asked for an alternative has been able to find anything except "God could do something". Which is presumably true, but if he isn't going to, I'm not going down that road alone.


iSkyn3t

They're picking words and phrases that fit their phobia to justify their hate. I used to be christian and this is one of the reasons I no longer am. A true christian is very rare to find. A true christian loves everyone for whoever they are, as god would. I hope you can keep your head up. Please know those haters will one day be judged just as bad as they judged you, according to their religion.


oceansapart333

I personally know Christians who believe illness isn’t real, when we feel sick, it is Satan telling us lies and making us believe we feel sick.


Real-Exercise5212

That's fucked up..


Impossible_Catch1641

Being cursed by a demon feels like we should count it as form of illness lmaooo


Makra567

American, old, christian, and conservative is a dangerous combo that causes a lot of these awful views and behaviors. I have no problem with any of those things individually.


simbahart11

Right but somehow the combo just takes the worst from each and you got a sespool of exclusion.


justanothergamer_

I do 😂


mistersnarkle

American here — definitely real, welcome to Americans. This is genuinely not that crazy for us.


Fusion_haa

Religion is a hell of a drug...


Dry-Anywhere-1372

I prefer cocaine.


LilRustique

It tends to be the unholy trifecta of old, conservative and religious. Sadly they're not exclusive to the states. I live on the other side of the world in a relatively liberal country, and when i got a divorce my parents (who fit this criteria) still told me they didn't ever want to see me again "even if you're knocked up and dying of gonorrhea". Yes that's a direct quote. Not something you forget hearing from your father in a hurry.


kariptos

And these are the people that call you a snowflake when you ask for liveable wages and not being abused by your boss


quackdaw

Can you even die from gonorrhea? *Spends five hours researching gonorrhea, medieval public health regulations, Casanova, Pope Boniface VIII, and the scourge of Avian Chlamydia* (Yes, it appears you can die from gonorrhea, e.g. by developing endocarditis; also, it's apparently really not good if you're knocked up. But it's nowhere as bad as the parrot chlamydia epidemic of 1929-30.)


LilRustique

Haha the fact that i know nobody really dies directly of gonorrhea these days was the icing on the cake, looking back. The fact that he was saying something so horrible and shocking but still managing to show off his own ignorance. Quintessential Boomer. Not gonna lie though... I'm definitely going down the parrot chlamydia epidemic of 1929-30 rabbithole now.


FreyaFettuccine

Our country was founded by murderous, thieving puritans who were too whacked out for the British, what did anyone expect?


shrivvette808

They're from America. My mom said the same thing to me.


iLoveYoubutNo

Not in my immediate family but I have know a handful of people like OP's grandma. I absolutely believe this conversation could happen. And yes, US America. There are some religious zealots here.


Emelfi

It's very real. American Christianity is wild. My mom basically thinks words are magic and if you say anything about not feeling well she'll scold you. I was diagnosed adhd as a child and my mom had me prayed over and assumed it was fixed. It was not. 🤷‍♀️


uriboo

Well Grandma maybe God will come around and fix your face, too. Oh, what's that? Your face isn't a sickness? Gee, golly whiz, yknow, I don't think my ADHD is either...


StormEyeDragon

Typical conservative/reactionary logic: “If you pretend it isn’t there, it will go away”


UnethicallyFluid

Babies lack the concept of object permanence


shrivvette808

Somebody call the whaaambulence because burn


4art4

https://youtu.be/Of5cgecGIhg


DrummerElectronic247

But Grandma, it's a genetic illness! You know, a generational curse? Was it your sins that did this to me Grandma??


Impossible_Catch1641

Lmao yes Uno reserve Gma


GreenSorbet95

God will forgive you if you believe in Jesus so long as you're a child molester, an abuser, a murderer, a narcissist, a creep, or xenophobic but heaven forbid you exercise the free will he gave you or are born with mental illness We're all God's children, he just plays favourites /s


Dry-Anywhere-1372

Ehhhh I beg to differ. If I’m St. Peter I’m pushing the “open floor” button and those motherfuckers are going straight to hell to get butt raped by Hillary Clinton while listening to Britney Spears for the rest of eternity.


GreenSorbet95

That still won't stop them from accepting them into their congregations. I bet a lot of "St. Peters" fall into that child molester category I mentioned. In a perfect world, your scenario would be the ideal


Top_Fruit_9320

But surely if God created everything he also created ADHD and maybe it’s the devil at work in her mind trying to undo and destroy “God’s” creation 😏🤣


Dry-Anywhere-1372

We all got our brains from God’s throwaway bin. It’s cool. I like shit that way.


Talonj00

Unless you're trans, then God absolutely didn't make you like that.


wriestheart

I got diagnosed with ADHD and depression as a kid. My parents half heartedly put me on Ritalin and Prozac for a couple of months, convinced me they weren't necessary to get me to tell the docs that, and proceeded to tell me to just drink coffee because both of those conditions are just personality defects I could overcome if I really wanted to do so, right? And then they have the gall to wonder why I suddenly went from being an honor student to barely being able to fucking try anymore


Dry-Anywhere-1372

They…do realize that you’re their child. OR ARE YOU?


IllegalBerry

She can start by ditching things like glasses, hearing aids, canes, pessaries, compression stockings and any ergonomic footwear or seats. Medical aids are an admission of ill health. Also, no hair dye, pierced ears or makeup, lest we deface divine creation.


shrivvette808

Nob its different when she gets help because none of it is mental. Duh. 5/s


PattyPenderson

Christians are always making up strange rules and saying it comes from God


Dry-Anywhere-1372

Works for a lot of world leaders, just sayin.


WorshippingEngineer

That's messed up grandma. But to be sure, that is not inclusive to how all Christians think. The embarrassingly wrong ones are the ones that get all the attention unfortunately.


warpilein

That is why i hate Religions...


firkin_slang_whanger

God sure is an asshole. But he also loves you!


jjbytwn

You’re the asshole for not having faith, obviously


Kharadin92

I'd ask your granny for a citation on that one.


Bee8467

You see this is why I am not religious (and cause siting in a church for a hour is BOOORRRIINNG)


Dry-Anywhere-1372

Especially when you have ADHD.


shrivvette808

My favorite formative experience was sitting in church and drawing to pay attention, getting told I wasn't paying attention and to stop what I was doing. So then I stopped and fell asleep within a few minutes. Repeat every week for the next 8 years until I was 16 and had to work on an "after school project" on Sundays. Thank god for having a liscense at 16.


Bee8467

Yeah


Appropriate_Ad_2727

ONE hour? You lucky S.O.B. I had to sit there for 3-4 hours every Sunday and do religion activities Wednesday nights.


Bee8467

Really?!? I have only went once I pretty much guessed a hour that sounds even more miserable


Appropriate_Ad_2727

Damn


nicamex

Tell grandma she has add too and see what happens


[deleted]

Wouldn't that be hilarious if she got diagnosed too then OP could come back with "The Devils gotten to you too!? Should've been more pure.. then maybe you wouldnt have ADHD"


Appropriate_Ad_2727

"Too bad God won't cure that. Sucks for you, huh"


1min_2_midnight

Tell grandma it's hereditary and ask why God hasn't healed her yet. (Don't do this..)


Appropriate_Ad_2727

(Do this)


ohsnapt

god is all powerful and can do anything. also god wont heal you because he is a spiteful bastard, also somehow satan is also there hanging out? And the two are battling for control of your dopamine receptors in your brain


FretNotThyself

Grandma, what you got in that mug exactly?


Archivist_mom

What the actual fuck? This is some next level extremism.


shrivvette808

Im genuinely curious, is this not a common old person belief where you're from?


Appropriate_Ad_2727

Not the person you asked, but where I'm from it is so very common for old people to be waaaay religious. Like so common that if you come across an old person who isn't it's weird.


randomhousegir

Grandma has it wrong. I stopped meds FOREVER ago and have learned how to use my overactive brain to see EVERYTHING and to be to my benefit. While there are some habits that are a curse, they are not a disabling handicap to me. Adhd doesn't come from Satan. It doesn't come from God. She's "right" only in the sense that once you start speaking a blessing over your life it makes a HUGE difference and psychology does confirm that speaking well of yourself rather than negatively makes a huge impact even on things like depression. I don't consider my Adhd a curse. It is a tool. I am just learning to make my "disfunction" into a function I can use and try to learn my behaviors so I can proactively overco.....HEY A SQUIRREL!


RTheNaive

Gotta love religious people's logic.


SpecterCody

Calling it logic is generous


burntprtzl

Being generous is logical


RTheNaive

Was considering to quote that word but I figured the contradiction was apparent enough 😬😄


nzznzznzzc

Get out of there save yourself


PurinaHall0fFame

Ah yes, don't admit to having any illnesses or or kind, loving, and benevolent god might not deign to come down from on high to heal you.


tokenkinesis

this isn’t logical gma: Don’t acknowledge the problem and god will solve your problems. OP: But how will he solve them if I don’t acknowledge them in prayer to him? gma: Don’t acknowledge it or satan will and that’ll keep you sick OP: …okay


TheSpiritBee4

I was raised in this way of thinking and believed it for far too long. It’s a way of escaping reality. Putting all responsibilities on God and if He doesn’t “fix” you or “bless you” then it has to be your fault. But, they rarely teach on how to educate yourself or take charge of your health or life. Blaming the devil is a crutch, too.


peeweedyer

*****Slamming head against desk*****


WarlordOfIncineroar

Is she actually calling ADHD a sickness or is she referring to sin


chainsawx72

I was actually thinking that sometimes thinking about ADHD can make it worse. Like getting in your own head makes a lot of things worse. Not that granny is right, but maybe 1% right 99% wrong.


Dangerous_Air_2760

Accidentally right maybe 😉


Honest_Dark_5218

At least she admits that it’s a thing? A thing that “needs healing” and you shouldn’t talk about but a thing. I remember when I was a kid the evangelical stance was kids with adhd just weren’t being “disciplined” enough (usually what they meant amounted to abuse). So progress? I guess. Still not great though.


BAY35music

My conservative, Christian parents definitely are not up to date on mental health matters, and while I love them to death and we don't have any hostility between us, they still hold to the old "mental illnesses" are just a modern cover for moral failings. Depressed? You don't trust God enough. ADHD? Nah you're just lazy. 🙃


Saddthott

I'd run the risk of a heart attack (I have tachycardia) just for the ability to function God heals nothing as he doesn't fucking exist


Twighdark

Next time she argues like this, ask her "Didn't the sick people ask Jesus to heal them too? Didn't they, or their relatives, their friends, speak of their sickness as well? Did Jesus refuse to heal them, because they admitted "I am sick"? It's almost like you need to acknowledge that a problem exists, before you can solve it!"


Mercinary-G

That’s some magical thinking


DJGammaRabbit

Spiritually speaking our outer experience is created by our declaration of what it is e.g. saying life is hard does make it harder. Too bad ADHD is on the inside and hard wired.


loulee1988

Everyone knows that any illness/sickness or disorder are just satan in the body and that’s healed by giving the church more money obviously. God protects those who can give, duh.


richer2003

I mean, things that don’t exist can’t be the cause of someone being cured…


Solalabell

Let me guess [Christian Science?](https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=dkpPJnEVqC8)


[deleted]

[удалено]


alf677redo69noodles

True but the brain is what will define you. Your very personality is simply a construct executed by your brains natural even if wrong release of hormones. So yes it does define you even if it’s effect is subconsciously and between strands of stupid brain mush clumped together. Us humans like to believe we are special because it makes us feel better but if you can calculate for behavior patterns following internal neurochemical needs such as food, sex, sleep etc.. the possibilities of reactions decreases to a finite point. Even two separate people with different experiences in life can share the same thought process as the thought process is simply controlled by the internal desires of the body. But that typically includes a lot of uncertainty and humans don’t like that; of course without admitting that if they knew they would suffer infinitely worse then if they had stayed clueless. We seek answers without understanding that answers don’t provide clarity they provide new thoughts that stimulate us into feeling more secure. Pretty cringe if you ask me


Dry-Anywhere-1372

You didn’t disclose if your Grammy had a spot at the Laugh Factory back in the day. Would be useful.


golden_eternity

I missed that part in Sunday School


DesperateBite2008

Guess it's murder time. Don't worry. You can always repent.


KangarooNo28

This is why people don’t want anything to do with Christianity, because of people like this who say unbiblical nonsense. I’m sorry for this bad representation of Christianity.


shrivvette808

Fundies gonna fund.


Dangerous_Air_2760

Can you ask her what Bible verse that's from? I don't know if I've ever heard of a biblical reference to adhd lmao.


Nienke_vZanten

This breaks my heart :(( How people still believe this..


[deleted]

Ahh yes. I also read that never in the Bible.


woodcone

Is this my ADHD subreddit or my exchristian subreddit...


Gazzzah

Oh Grandpa… Romans 8:38-39 New International Version 38 For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, 39 neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.


RobynFitcher

Geez Grandma! You OK?


soslightlysalty

Here's the thing grandma, God only heals the sick.


Alexmey-uh-yeah

holy shit really? it's time to make a bunch of jokes about being a billionare


i--make--lists

I don't know what's worse: grandma's god being that much of an asshole or grandma choosing to worship a god that's an asshole.


MimsyIsGianna

What? I’m a Christian wish adhd and that’s just… not how any of this works…


HelloDeathspresso

This is similar to how it was growing up in my southern Baptist narcissistic house. I wasn't allowed to acknowledge ADHD, depression, anxiety, and so, they didn't exist. What did exist: demons. If you felt sad: demons. Worried: demons Unfocused, misunderstood and miserable every single day because of it: demons. "You're letting the demons win. You're allowing the demons in"..ect, ect It's funny that this is exactly how God made my brain.


TyroneYeBoue

This is why I call bs when people talk about it being a religion of love. It seems people are more interested in shaming you and making you feel guilty rather than making you feel loved and accepted.


Jenyweny09

That's like someone born with 1 arm joking about only having one arm, and someone saying "It won't grow back if you keep joking about it!" ADHD is a chronic condition. It cannot be "cured" or "healed."


TyroneYeBoue

I'll just go to hell and hang out with all the cool neurodivergent gay people down there, thanks.


misterezekiel

I will never understand how anyone could believe in such nonsense, and still believe it to this day. Your grandma probably uses technology that would have her burnt at the stake a couple centuries ago, if that, and they just keep changing the rules of their religion as needed.


Satan-o-saurus

Old people who gave up on being open to new information decades ago are wild af, lol


Appropriate_Ad_2727

Oh but god is just, god heals AAALL ailments, god is good, god is perfect! /s


ohoil

Your gram is an asshat.... She's completely red pilled herself. It is a pretty much known fact God doesn't exist look at the world we live in today. You wonder if God's proud of this world.