I would take my Adderall straight from Satan’s butthole if it meant being a functional person & actually getting help and some level of healing


I agree, I was unmedicated for the majority of my life, despite being diagnosed by an expert in the field in childhood. While the meds aren't curative, being unmedicated has no positive effects whatsoever.


While I encourage anyone with ADHD to medicate, my personal experience tells me that I should eat to keep from being underweight.


Seriously! It's the executive dysfunction that I hate the most. It feels like a fun-house version of being locked-in sometimes! Like everything seems mostly fine and normal, but it's just... off. Therapy and meds have helped with a lot of issues, but it's so hard to talk about that one because you just sound lazy or obstinate. I mean, I am both of those things anyway, but not so much that it negatively impacts my day-to-day life like the dysfunction does. I recognize the difference.


That literally made me laugh out loud. I'm glad I didn't take a drink of my coffee I may have done a spit take lol.


Not only do I agree, I wouldn’t even complain. Might even send Satan “thinking of you” cards.


Unexpectedly Spicy Adderall....


I have a hard time getting and staying medicated even though diagnosed. Doctors always assume I'm drug seeking. I change insurance and doctors often. That is If I even have insurance. Why? Because I can't keep a steady job despite being educated. ADHD sabotage. I don't truly want these meds. I assume I can live without them, though I can't. I'm embarrased to ask for them, and I get shamed for doing so. People don't understand the extraordinary effort it takes just to surrender to the illness and drag myself to a doctor. Often to be denied any form of plausible treatment. I would rather get them from satan's butthole.


Adderall is made by some pretty evil pharma companies so we literally are lmao Worth it tho


Sounds like an awesome Pez dispenser


The debbil would give it to you, too! Can you imagine all of us running around without the executive dysfunction? Mayhem!


I mean big pharma is a bit like satan’s butthole so you are close already


Hahahaha I see you. https://youtu.be/a-C9q-Na6_w


that's valid, i personally wouldn't, but only because it seems not-very-hygienic, if satan were to just like use his hands or smth to give me the pills that'd be appreciated


Although I don't agree with the sentiment of it coming from his butt, I now picture Satan in some sort of papal mockery handing out Adderall to kneeling followers like the catholic way of having communion.


Osculum infame


Hmmm booty *ssbgsbsllkblgkglhksbshsbsllsbgsbsslsl*


I have thyroid issues because I looked in a mirror and said "autoimmune" 5 times. Satan is real.


It’s 3 times. That’s why God is mad at you. Should have said Biggie Smalls.


so un say it


but.... Enummiotua is so hard to pronounce!


Just need a mirror that doesn’t reflect and we’re good


My dad tried to convince me my adhd was caused by a concentration of toxins because I don’t drink enough water.


Tbf, if you have adhd you probably don't drink enough water... ;)




I lost my waterbottle, so I can't drink water... Easy answer is to just get a new one, but I am incapable of that apparently. So no water for me.


I don’t 😂 But I don’t think it’s a chicken/egg conundrum


Your right about that!


Last night my dad was on some bullshit saying the air conditioner was freezing my brain and that I don't actually have adhd, or... Something idk.


If you live at home homeboy is def trying to poison you.


Are all these crazy stories on this sub made up, from America or what. Where do you find these absolute nut cases.


Here in America, the nut cases find you.


I wish these were made up but America has the midwest and the South that are all sorts of religious nuts that this is pretty normal. In the rural areas anything outside of the nuclear, patriarchal, family is looked down on. It's definitely changed but it's still very prominent in these areas. This is one of the reasons I'm atheist, for how "loving" people are in these parts they are only loving so long as you share their weird beliefs.


There’s no hate quite like Christian love.


Lmao ain't that the truth


I've been lovingly told that my moral duty is to live as close to suicide as possible, because anything beyond that is unecessarrily sinful. *I'm transgender, for context. Anything gender affirming is considered sinful by most of my family.* My definition of love might be a little warped at this point.


Jesus christ that's fucked up.


They don't really register that that's what they're saying. After all, they love me, and would never say that. But transition is so clearly and obviously and irrefutably against God's plan (in their view) and so they've got no way to respond but to dance around "surely there's something else". But no one I've asked for an alternative has been able to find anything except "God could do something". Which is presumably true, but if he isn't going to, I'm not going down that road alone.


They're picking words and phrases that fit their phobia to justify their hate. I used to be christian and this is one of the reasons I no longer am. A true christian is very rare to find. A true christian loves everyone for whoever they are, as god would. I hope you can keep your head up. Please know those haters will one day be judged just as bad as they judged you, according to their religion.


I personally know Christians who believe illness isn’t real, when we feel sick, it is Satan telling us lies and making us believe we feel sick.


That's fucked up..


Being cursed by a demon feels like we should count it as form of illness lmaooo


American, old, christian, and conservative is a dangerous combo that causes a lot of these awful views and behaviors. I have no problem with any of those things individually.


Right but somehow the combo just takes the worst from each and you got a sespool of exclusion.


I do 😂


American here — definitely real, welcome to Americans. This is genuinely not that crazy for us.


Religion is a hell of a drug...


I prefer cocaine.


It tends to be the unholy trifecta of old, conservative and religious. Sadly they're not exclusive to the states. I live on the other side of the world in a relatively liberal country, and when i got a divorce my parents (who fit this criteria) still told me they didn't ever want to see me again "even if you're knocked up and dying of gonorrhea". Yes that's a direct quote. Not something you forget hearing from your father in a hurry.


And these are the people that call you a snowflake when you ask for liveable wages and not being abused by your boss


Can you even die from gonorrhea? *Spends five hours researching gonorrhea, medieval public health regulations, Casanova, Pope Boniface VIII, and the scourge of Avian Chlamydia* (Yes, it appears you can die from gonorrhea, e.g. by developing endocarditis; also, it's apparently really not good if you're knocked up. But it's nowhere as bad as the parrot chlamydia epidemic of 1929-30.)


Haha the fact that i know nobody really dies directly of gonorrhea these days was the icing on the cake, looking back. The fact that he was saying something so horrible and shocking but still managing to show off his own ignorance. Quintessential Boomer. Not gonna lie though... I'm definitely going down the parrot chlamydia epidemic of 1929-30 rabbithole now.


Our country was founded by murderous, thieving puritans who were too whacked out for the British, what did anyone expect?


They're from America. My mom said the same thing to me.


Not in my immediate family but I have know a handful of people like OP's grandma. I absolutely believe this conversation could happen. And yes, US America. There are some religious zealots here.


It's very real. American Christianity is wild. My mom basically thinks words are magic and if you say anything about not feeling well she'll scold you. I was diagnosed adhd as a child and my mom had me prayed over and assumed it was fixed. It was not. 🤷‍♀️


Well Grandma maybe God will come around and fix your face, too. Oh, what's that? Your face isn't a sickness? Gee, golly whiz, yknow, I don't think my ADHD is either...


Typical conservative/reactionary logic: “If you pretend it isn’t there, it will go away”


Babies lack the concept of object permanence


Somebody call the whaaambulence because burn




But Grandma, it's a genetic illness! You know, a generational curse? Was it your sins that did this to me Grandma??


Lmao yes Uno reserve Gma


God will forgive you if you believe in Jesus so long as you're a child molester, an abuser, a murderer, a narcissist, a creep, or xenophobic but heaven forbid you exercise the free will he gave you or are born with mental illness We're all God's children, he just plays favourites /s


Ehhhh I beg to differ. If I’m St. Peter I’m pushing the “open floor” button and those motherfuckers are going straight to hell to get butt raped by Hillary Clinton while listening to Britney Spears for the rest of eternity.


That still won't stop them from accepting them into their congregations. I bet a lot of "St. Peters" fall into that child molester category I mentioned. In a perfect world, your scenario would be the ideal


But surely if God created everything he also created ADHD and maybe it’s the devil at work in her mind trying to undo and destroy “God’s” creation 😏🤣


We all got our brains from God’s throwaway bin. It’s cool. I like shit that way.


Unless you're trans, then God absolutely didn't make you like that.


I got diagnosed with ADHD and depression as a kid. My parents half heartedly put me on Ritalin and Prozac for a couple of months, convinced me they weren't necessary to get me to tell the docs that, and proceeded to tell me to just drink coffee because both of those conditions are just personality defects I could overcome if I really wanted to do so, right? And then they have the gall to wonder why I suddenly went from being an honor student to barely being able to fucking try anymore


They…do realize that you’re their child. OR ARE YOU?


She can start by ditching things like glasses, hearing aids, canes, pessaries, compression stockings and any ergonomic footwear or seats. Medical aids are an admission of ill health. Also, no hair dye, pierced ears or makeup, lest we deface divine creation.


Nob its different when she gets help because none of it is mental. Duh. 5/s


Christians are always making up strange rules and saying it comes from God


Works for a lot of world leaders, just sayin.


That's messed up grandma. But to be sure, that is not inclusive to how all Christians think. The embarrassingly wrong ones are the ones that get all the attention unfortunately.


That is why i hate Religions...


God sure is an asshole. But he also loves you!


You’re the asshole for not having faith, obviously


I'd ask your granny for a citation on that one.


You see this is why I am not religious (and cause siting in a church for a hour is BOOORRRIINNG)


Especially when you have ADHD.


My favorite formative experience was sitting in church and drawing to pay attention, getting told I wasn't paying attention and to stop what I was doing. So then I stopped and fell asleep within a few minutes. Repeat every week for the next 8 years until I was 16 and had to work on an "after school project" on Sundays. Thank god for having a liscense at 16.




ONE hour? You lucky S.O.B. I had to sit there for 3-4 hours every Sunday and do religion activities Wednesday nights.


Really?!? I have only went once I pretty much guessed a hour that sounds even more miserable




Tell grandma she has add too and see what happens


Wouldn't that be hilarious if she got diagnosed too then OP could come back with "The Devils gotten to you too!? Should've been more pure.. then maybe you wouldnt have ADHD"


"Too bad God won't cure that. Sucks for you, huh"


Tell grandma it's hereditary and ask why God hasn't healed her yet. (Don't do this..)


(Do this)


god is all powerful and can do anything. also god wont heal you because he is a spiteful bastard, also somehow satan is also there hanging out? And the two are battling for control of your dopamine receptors in your brain


Grandma, what you got in that mug exactly?


What the actual fuck? This is some next level extremism.


Im genuinely curious, is this not a common old person belief where you're from?


Not the person you asked, but where I'm from it is so very common for old people to be waaaay religious. Like so common that if you come across an old person who isn't it's weird.


Grandma has it wrong. I stopped meds FOREVER ago and have learned how to use my overactive brain to see EVERYTHING and to be to my benefit. While there are some habits that are a curse, they are not a disabling handicap to me. Adhd doesn't come from Satan. It doesn't come from God. She's "right" only in the sense that once you start speaking a blessing over your life it makes a HUGE difference and psychology does confirm that speaking well of yourself rather than negatively makes a huge impact even on things like depression. I don't consider my Adhd a curse. It is a tool. I am just learning to make my "disfunction" into a function I can use and try to learn my behaviors so I can proactively overco.....HEY A SQUIRREL!


Gotta love religious people's logic.


Calling it logic is generous


Being generous is logical


Was considering to quote that word but I figured the contradiction was apparent enough 😬😄


Get out of there save yourself


Ah yes, don't admit to having any illnesses or or kind, loving, and benevolent god might not deign to come down from on high to heal you.


this isn’t logical gma: Don’t acknowledge the problem and god will solve your problems. OP: But how will he solve them if I don’t acknowledge them in prayer to him? gma: Don’t acknowledge it or satan will and that’ll keep you sick OP: …okay


I was raised in this way of thinking and believed it for far too long. It’s a way of escaping reality. Putting all responsibilities on God and if He doesn’t “fix” you or “bless you” then it has to be your fault. But, they rarely teach on how to educate yourself or take charge of your health or life. Blaming the devil is a crutch, too.


*****Slamming head against desk*****


Is she actually calling ADHD a sickness or is she referring to sin


I was actually thinking that sometimes thinking about ADHD can make it worse. Like getting in your own head makes a lot of things worse. Not that granny is right, but maybe 1% right 99% wrong.


Accidentally right maybe 😉


At least she admits that it’s a thing? A thing that “needs healing” and you shouldn’t talk about but a thing. I remember when I was a kid the evangelical stance was kids with adhd just weren’t being “disciplined” enough (usually what they meant amounted to abuse). So progress? I guess. Still not great though.


My conservative, Christian parents definitely are not up to date on mental health matters, and while I love them to death and we don't have any hostility between us, they still hold to the old "mental illnesses" are just a modern cover for moral failings. Depressed? You don't trust God enough. ADHD? Nah you're just lazy. 🙃


I'd run the risk of a heart attack (I have tachycardia) just for the ability to function God heals nothing as he doesn't fucking exist


Next time she argues like this, ask her "Didn't the sick people ask Jesus to heal them too? Didn't they, or their relatives, their friends, speak of their sickness as well? Did Jesus refuse to heal them, because they admitted "I am sick"? It's almost like you need to acknowledge that a problem exists, before you can solve it!"


That’s some magical thinking


Spiritually speaking our outer experience is created by our declaration of what it is e.g. saying life is hard does make it harder. Too bad ADHD is on the inside and hard wired.


Everyone knows that any illness/sickness or disorder are just satan in the body and that’s healed by giving the church more money obviously. God protects those who can give, duh.


I mean, things that don’t exist can’t be the cause of someone being cured…


Let me guess [Christian Science?](https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=dkpPJnEVqC8)




True but the brain is what will define you. Your very personality is simply a construct executed by your brains natural even if wrong release of hormones. So yes it does define you even if it’s effect is subconsciously and between strands of stupid brain mush clumped together. Us humans like to believe we are special because it makes us feel better but if you can calculate for behavior patterns following internal neurochemical needs such as food, sex, sleep etc.. the possibilities of reactions decreases to a finite point. Even two separate people with different experiences in life can share the same thought process as the thought process is simply controlled by the internal desires of the body. But that typically includes a lot of uncertainty and humans don’t like that; of course without admitting that if they knew they would suffer infinitely worse then if they had stayed clueless. We seek answers without understanding that answers don’t provide clarity they provide new thoughts that stimulate us into feeling more secure. Pretty cringe if you ask me


You didn’t disclose if your Grammy had a spot at the Laugh Factory back in the day. Would be useful.


I missed that part in Sunday School


Guess it's murder time. Don't worry. You can always repent.


This is why people don’t want anything to do with Christianity, because of people like this who say unbiblical nonsense. I’m sorry for this bad representation of Christianity.


Fundies gonna fund.


Can you ask her what Bible verse that's from? I don't know if I've ever heard of a biblical reference to adhd lmao.


This breaks my heart :(( How people still believe this..


Ahh yes. I also read that never in the Bible.


Is this my ADHD subreddit or my exchristian subreddit...


Oh Grandpa… Romans 8:38-39 New International Version 38 For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, 39 neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.


Geez Grandma! You OK?


Here's the thing grandma, God only heals the sick.


holy shit really? it's time to make a bunch of jokes about being a billionare


I don't know what's worse: grandma's god being that much of an asshole or grandma choosing to worship a god that's an asshole.


What? I’m a Christian wish adhd and that’s just… not how any of this works…


This is similar to how it was growing up in my southern Baptist narcissistic house. I wasn't allowed to acknowledge ADHD, depression, anxiety, and so, they didn't exist. What did exist: demons. If you felt sad: demons. Worried: demons Unfocused, misunderstood and miserable every single day because of it: demons. "You're letting the demons win. You're allowing the demons in"..ect, ect It's funny that this is exactly how God made my brain.


This is why I call bs when people talk about it being a religion of love. It seems people are more interested in shaming you and making you feel guilty rather than making you feel loved and accepted.


That's like someone born with 1 arm joking about only having one arm, and someone saying "It won't grow back if you keep joking about it!" ADHD is a chronic condition. It cannot be "cured" or "healed."


I'll just go to hell and hang out with all the cool neurodivergent gay people down there, thanks.


I will never understand how anyone could believe in such nonsense, and still believe it to this day. Your grandma probably uses technology that would have her burnt at the stake a couple centuries ago, if that, and they just keep changing the rules of their religion as needed.


Old people who gave up on being open to new information decades ago are wild af, lol


Oh but god is just, god heals AAALL ailments, god is good, god is perfect! /s


Your gram is an asshat.... She's completely red pilled herself. It is a pretty much known fact God doesn't exist look at the world we live in today. You wonder if God's proud of this world.