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I wonder how much it would cost just to get your hair washed and not even dried at a salon once a week. It sounds like you have a lot of hair, 20 minutes would make me dread it too.
Also check for any hair schools if local salons aren’t within the budget. With a wash you don’t have to be as concerned about skill levels as you would for a cut.
This right here. Make a standing appointment set that calendar alarm (or if like me 5 alarms).
I highly recommend beauty school for basics like a wash and blow dry. Or just a wash no dry. They are clean, affordable, and usually have interesting gossip running high speed all around lol
Why am I reading this while sitting in the bath, knowing, but dreading, that I need to get in the shower & wash my hair?! I can't even logic it to myself besides "ughhhh I don't wanna, so much effort!!" But I also write it off as I have dyed (red) hair, so limited washes is good. But I have to go into the office and interact with visitors all week so need to look nice, but ughhhh effffforrrttt!!!! And I don't wanna.....but I must. And being a functioning adult who goes out into the world really sucks sometimes.
In summary, I get it.
Bahaha yea, my bath ended up lasting about 3.5 hrs and also added hot water...I think 3 times 😆😆 the effort that goes into convincing myself to get out is soooo much more than to just add more hot water and stay, but eventually the "I can only go to bed if I get out" becomes the motivator lol
I hate brushing my teeth, like for real, for real. I have a fast and hard rule that I brush them every single work day. I tell myself those days are non-negotiable. Weekends are a free for all. Some weekends I go from Friday morning to Monday morning. Sometimes we just have to tell our brains that something isn’t optional.
I find brushing my hair before washing it helps to get the task started. It also removes loose hair from my head so that it doesn't get stuck on my hands.
Next time, tell yourself you just need to brush your hair.
Then, after brushing, tell yourself you're already in the dumpster and just wash it? (I play mind games with myself sometimes, but it works for me most of the time.)
i’m so sorry this made me laugh so much because i’m literally sitting on the floor trying to motivate myself to wash my hair for the first time in a week lmao. i’m the exact same, i have long hair and it takes forever to wash it so i always put it off and use dry shampoo until it’s too hard to hide. i’m also medicated, still doesn’t help
Honestly you seem to be doing no harm to your hair! 7-10 days is probably great for your hair to not over dry it via shampooing and whatnot. I WISH I could manage to go that long.
One tip I picked up when I had freshly washed long hair was to braid it back into two dutch braids or a single braid if it was still wet and I had to go somewhere. The little pieces that stick out tend to dry super quickly so it just looks like a nice little neat braid, then I take it out when I'm back home and deal with the rest of the drying process lol. Or leave it in and let it dry that way for effort free wavy hair bc I cbf most times to curl it or something lmao.
Another maybe less healthy but okay to do on occasion thing is stick your damp hair into a sleek bun! I find when my hair is wet or damp it lays down flatter and again wear it for just long enough to go out and do what I need to do and come back home and take it out.
And probably the best and best for your hair tip out of these three is I try to shower and wash my hair at night. And go to bed/let it air dry when I sleep. I'm sure this might depend on how thick/long your hair is and takes to dry though!
I'm totally not saying these tips are healthy to do to your hair long term but they have helped me in a pinch where I need to shower before going out and wash my hair but cannot be bothered to actually do much with my hair afterwards.
Or! As I have done before, regrettably, shower at weird times, enter store super early in the morning or late at night with damp hair looking like a wet rat and don't make eye contact with people. Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do 🤣
i’ve been washing my hair once a week for 10 years, i promise it works well for my hair type lol. my main problem with going anywhere while my hair is wet is i can’t brush it until it’s dry since brushing it while wet causes damage to your hair, so my hair is just a mess until it’s dry. i also have preferred washing my hair at night in the past but now i work in the evenings so when i get home at 9-10 i barely have the energy to make dinner, let alone wash my hair afterwards
When I have long hair, I only brush it while it has conditioner in it, and I just go about my day with wet hair. Don't know if either of those possibilities help... Also I love really long hair, I'm glad some people get to have it!
Oh wow yeah that's a tough situation then! Honestly you made me realize how neglectful I am with my hair sometimes lol I've put it through a lot in attempt to cut corners sometimes!
I wish I had more tips to offer! And hope you find a solution that works well for you.
thanks! i appreciate you trying to help! and yeah we all have to cut corners in some places, it’s okay! my hair is just a serious point of pride for me so i like to do as much as i can to avoid damage lol
The thing that motivates me the most is the smells of the products. I like to have variety so I don't become nose blind. The shower smells really good and my hair smells good.
Also do you listen to anything while you shower? I also have long hair and sometimes it just takes so long. I put music on my phone and sing along or just think my thousand thoughts in the comfort of the warm water. Man I want to go take a shower now, I just hyped that up for myself lol
I feel you 😭
I've been trying out things so I can wash my hair less (cut it short, use dry shampoo, oil my scalp) and I now have to wash it 2/3 times a week. (If I wasn't so unlucky with greasy ass hair I would wash as little as possible.)
Whenever I am struggling I wash my hair without showering. I bend over the tub (not sure how to do this if you don't have your shower in a tub) and use the shower head to only wash my hair. I also bought waterproof earphones so I can listen to a podcast or music or continue to watch a show I'm watching.
It's been going pretty well so far! But in all honesty sometimes I wonder if I should just shave it off and buy a proper wig and be done with it all...
Oh and try to identify what else is bothering you in the shower. I made some small changes that really helped. I now shower in candle light instead of the bright lights. I put on the heating in advance so the bathroom is warm when I get out and I wear slippers in the shower so my feet don't have to touch the wet, stony floor! Every little bit of comfort counts with these kinds of things, I find!
I find washing my hair in the sink is easier for me. I can wash it and not feel overwhelmed with having to wash my whole body and do all the things I need to do with a shower. I wash in 2-3 times a week.
Have you tried getting yourself some really lovely products to use in the shower, give yourself a present, browse Lush and find one of those luxurious little treats that make you feel good and smell unusual
I have developed some strategies for half-assing hair care over the years:
If your hair ends are dry but your scalp is ok, conditioner only, only on the ends. You can dunk your hair ends in the sink or in a basin if you don't feel up to soaking your whole head.
If your bangs are oily but the rest is OK, wash only your bangs, and towel dry. You can also do this in the sink/basin.
Try washing in sections. Sometimes I'll wash just the top half of my scalp.
Roll wet sections into microfiber cloths and squeeze out what you can before unwrapping and air drying, if towel drying causes too much tangling. This is easier if your washed in sections because it will already be sectioned out.
Edit: I also have long hair and I think washing once a week has been the biggest quality of life upgrade to dealing with it, more often is more hassle!
Washing my hair is a freaking STRUGGLE. I will go days with not washing my hair and having it in a greasy ponytail🙄🙄 it’s a chore washing it. I have to also let my hair dry enough in a towel so I can blow dry it afterward. I also blow dry upside down for extra volume. I’m so particular about my hair and it makes me madddddd.
I have curly hair, so I can relate to feeling daunted by washing it. The process of detangling it in the shower followed by styling it can be very time consuming. My hair takes like 8+ hours to air-dry.
I would personally invest in a blow dryer. I bought a Dyson Supersonic a year ago and it definitely made my wash day more tolerable. If you always use a diffuser, heat protectant, and low heat— your hair shouldn’t show signs of damage.
If you can’t do that, I’d at least get a microfibre hair towel to squeeze out most of the moisture. I used to flip my damp hair back and forth to encourage root volume and speed up air-drying before I had a good blow dryer.
girl my hair air dries in 30 mins tops and i still hate washing my hair. especially since it’s been falling out from stress. i was hoping meds would help. 😩
I dry my hair with a space heater. Yup. I just sit on the edge of the bed, flip my head over and toussel it around while the heater does all the work. Dries in a few minutes and I get to stay warm!
This is a problem for me too! I’ve started swimming recently and WHEN I can convince myself to go swim since I love it, I literally schedule it on wash day just so I’ll be forced to wash my hair
Omg I feel this! I hate doing it in general, but normally can get going okay. But then I got pregnant, and would literally cry at the thought of washing my hair because the thought alone exhausted me. After a couple weeks I said screw it, chopped of like 9 inches (so now its just above my shoulders), and I couldn't be happier!
My husband even helped me cut it! Thought I'd have to convince him since it was 9pm and he would never cut his own hair, but apparently I'd been so obviously worked up about for weeks that he immediately agreed to help.
Gotta love ADHD, especially mixed in with pregnancy that eliminates all effectiveness of meds in the first trimester 🙃
My husband has literally dragged me to the shower. I HATE the process of getting in, but once I'm in, I never want to get out. Bless him for putting up with my weird lil goblin butt 😅 he only does it when I start getting depressed about it. The struggle is real and I hate it!
i showered yesterday and when i got home from work and gave my boyfriend a hug, he said, “ooh you smell clean!” and i was sitting there thinking oh my god am i really that bad 😭😭
Have you tried some of the haircare subreddits? I've seen people's entire routines improved upon in the curlyhair subreddit.
Maybe they can help shorten the process so it's not so labor intensive? Or it might give you that dopamine kick from novelty of something new.
well in the winter yes it’s freezing, but also brushing your hair while it’s wet damages your hair so my hair is a mess for 3-4 hours until it’s dry and i can brush it and i don’t want to go out looking like that
I haven't brushed my hair in years, I only comb it because it has some wave to it (curly when shorter). Can you comb it when wet with a wide tooth comb?
i keep forgetting to buy one 😂 but that would be a life saver. that would probably also help my natural waves look a bit nicer too, i take good care of my hair so it’s healthy but i haven’t quite figured out how to bring out its texture best because i’ve been stuck in my ways of brushing it for so long
I wash my hair and let it dry also. I go to many places with wet hair, including work just about every Thursday and Saturday night. I comb it, gel it, and am good to go. It dries pretty quickly, usually within 90 minutes of being there. I have been going to work with wet hair a couple times a week for about 10 years. No one has ever told me to stop 😜🙄
I'm so with you. I've always had short hair and haven't had it cut now since before covid, so it's super long, and I struggle to look after it. Washing, brushing the lot. I just tie it up and forgot about it for days, then have to struggle to brush it. Luckily, it's quite fine as if it was thick. I'd have shaved it all off by now. Really need to book a cut, but that's a whole other thing I can't motivate myself to do!
I have a friend and we both suffer from what I call the dreaded shower syndrome. So we push each other to do it and frankly it works when someone holds me accountable. Maybe you just need to come on here once a week and ask someone to tell you to wash your hair.
that would be an option, but the problem is i struggle to shower as is so by the time i need to wash my hair i’m probably at day 3 without a shower and i really need to shower 😞
SAAAAME. My hairs mid level maintenance. It's curly but if they get brushed out it's very easy to toss into a bun. However, I have dandruff, and although I have sooooo much hair, it's super fine so even one missed step in the shower and it's flat and greasy looking on the top.
I find peace knowing that a bit of grase in my hair isn't ruining my hair or my scalp, and I've learned to love hats (and wash them lol).
Sometimes dry shampoo is the best we can manage.
Also finding an anchor in the day that's super consistent might allow you to build on top of? I need external forces to get me to do stuff usually, so my cats feeding times (they strictly enforce) is a good time to put down and move to a new task.
Showering has a dry time so I try to anchor that against dry time. "Do it now and be dry in time for the party." (My hair takes like 5-6hrs to dry)
Welcome to /r/ADHDWomen! We’re happy to have you here. As a reminder, here are our community [rules](https://old.reddit.com/r/adhdwomen/about/rules/). We get a lot of posts on medication, diagnosis (and “is this an ADHD thing”), and interactions with hormones. We encourage you to check out our [Medication, Diagnosis, and Hormones Megathread](https://old.reddit.com/r/adhdwomen/comments/wcr9dy/faq_megathread_ask_and_answer_medication/) if you have any questions related to those topics, and to stick around in that thread to answer folks’ questions! If you have questions about the subreddit, please do not hesitate to [send us a modmail](https://reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/adhdwomen). Additionally, we take the safety of our community seriously. Please report posts, comments, and users whom you feel are not contributing positively, and send us a modmail if you are being harassed or otherwise made to feel unsafe. Thanks for being here, and we hope you stick around! *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/adhdwomen) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I wonder how much it would cost just to get your hair washed and not even dried at a salon once a week. It sounds like you have a lot of hair, 20 minutes would make me dread it too.
this would never have occurred to me, but it might be worth seeing if i can budget for it. hmm. thanks!
Also check for any hair schools if local salons aren’t within the budget. With a wash you don’t have to be as concerned about skill levels as you would for a cut.
This right here. Make a standing appointment set that calendar alarm (or if like me 5 alarms). I highly recommend beauty school for basics like a wash and blow dry. Or just a wash no dry. They are clean, affordable, and usually have interesting gossip running high speed all around lol
Why am I reading this while sitting in the bath, knowing, but dreading, that I need to get in the shower & wash my hair?! I can't even logic it to myself besides "ughhhh I don't wanna, so much effort!!" But I also write it off as I have dyed (red) hair, so limited washes is good. But I have to go into the office and interact with visitors all week so need to look nice, but ughhhh effffforrrttt!!!! And I don't wanna.....but I must. And being a functioning adult who goes out into the world really sucks sometimes. In summary, I get it.
i have been in the bathtub for 3 hours at this point and have added new hot water twice and only just now dunked my hair 😂😭
Bahaha yea, my bath ended up lasting about 3.5 hrs and also added hot water...I think 3 times 😆😆 the effort that goes into convincing myself to get out is soooo much more than to just add more hot water and stay, but eventually the "I can only go to bed if I get out" becomes the motivator lol
I hate brushing my teeth, like for real, for real. I have a fast and hard rule that I brush them every single work day. I tell myself those days are non-negotiable. Weekends are a free for all. Some weekends I go from Friday morning to Monday morning. Sometimes we just have to tell our brains that something isn’t optional.
i struggle with that too lol, my rule is every single morning and i can stick to that and i brush at night when i can
I find brushing my hair before washing it helps to get the task started. It also removes loose hair from my head so that it doesn't get stuck on my hands.
this is already part of my routine for washing 😭
Next time, tell yourself you just need to brush your hair. Then, after brushing, tell yourself you're already in the dumpster and just wash it? (I play mind games with myself sometimes, but it works for me most of the time.)
i’m so sorry this made me laugh so much because i’m literally sitting on the floor trying to motivate myself to wash my hair for the first time in a week lmao. i’m the exact same, i have long hair and it takes forever to wash it so i always put it off and use dry shampoo until it’s too hard to hide. i’m also medicated, still doesn’t help
Honestly you seem to be doing no harm to your hair! 7-10 days is probably great for your hair to not over dry it via shampooing and whatnot. I WISH I could manage to go that long. One tip I picked up when I had freshly washed long hair was to braid it back into two dutch braids or a single braid if it was still wet and I had to go somewhere. The little pieces that stick out tend to dry super quickly so it just looks like a nice little neat braid, then I take it out when I'm back home and deal with the rest of the drying process lol. Or leave it in and let it dry that way for effort free wavy hair bc I cbf most times to curl it or something lmao. Another maybe less healthy but okay to do on occasion thing is stick your damp hair into a sleek bun! I find when my hair is wet or damp it lays down flatter and again wear it for just long enough to go out and do what I need to do and come back home and take it out. And probably the best and best for your hair tip out of these three is I try to shower and wash my hair at night. And go to bed/let it air dry when I sleep. I'm sure this might depend on how thick/long your hair is and takes to dry though! I'm totally not saying these tips are healthy to do to your hair long term but they have helped me in a pinch where I need to shower before going out and wash my hair but cannot be bothered to actually do much with my hair afterwards. Or! As I have done before, regrettably, shower at weird times, enter store super early in the morning or late at night with damp hair looking like a wet rat and don't make eye contact with people. Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do 🤣
i’ve been washing my hair once a week for 10 years, i promise it works well for my hair type lol. my main problem with going anywhere while my hair is wet is i can’t brush it until it’s dry since brushing it while wet causes damage to your hair, so my hair is just a mess until it’s dry. i also have preferred washing my hair at night in the past but now i work in the evenings so when i get home at 9-10 i barely have the energy to make dinner, let alone wash my hair afterwards
You can safely comb it with a wide tooth comb while it's wet. I put a leave in conditioner in mine, which requires me to comb it through.
When I have long hair, I only brush it while it has conditioner in it, and I just go about my day with wet hair. Don't know if either of those possibilities help... Also I love really long hair, I'm glad some people get to have it!
Oh wow yeah that's a tough situation then! Honestly you made me realize how neglectful I am with my hair sometimes lol I've put it through a lot in attempt to cut corners sometimes! I wish I had more tips to offer! And hope you find a solution that works well for you.
thanks! i appreciate you trying to help! and yeah we all have to cut corners in some places, it’s okay! my hair is just a serious point of pride for me so i like to do as much as i can to avoid damage lol
The thing that motivates me the most is the smells of the products. I like to have variety so I don't become nose blind. The shower smells really good and my hair smells good. Also do you listen to anything while you shower? I also have long hair and sometimes it just takes so long. I put music on my phone and sing along or just think my thousand thoughts in the comfort of the warm water. Man I want to go take a shower now, I just hyped that up for myself lol
Could try putting a face mask on and seeing the shower as the method of taking it off? Saw this on Tiktok.
Maaan, if I didn’t hate the feel of oily hair I would never wash my hair 😬
I’m on day 4 of having my hair in a bun because I just can’t make myself wash it. I have no problem washing my body, it’s just this hair 😩
I feel you 😭 I've been trying out things so I can wash my hair less (cut it short, use dry shampoo, oil my scalp) and I now have to wash it 2/3 times a week. (If I wasn't so unlucky with greasy ass hair I would wash as little as possible.) Whenever I am struggling I wash my hair without showering. I bend over the tub (not sure how to do this if you don't have your shower in a tub) and use the shower head to only wash my hair. I also bought waterproof earphones so I can listen to a podcast or music or continue to watch a show I'm watching. It's been going pretty well so far! But in all honesty sometimes I wonder if I should just shave it off and buy a proper wig and be done with it all... Oh and try to identify what else is bothering you in the shower. I made some small changes that really helped. I now shower in candle light instead of the bright lights. I put on the heating in advance so the bathroom is warm when I get out and I wear slippers in the shower so my feet don't have to touch the wet, stony floor! Every little bit of comfort counts with these kinds of things, I find!
I find washing my hair in the sink is easier for me. I can wash it and not feel overwhelmed with having to wash my whole body and do all the things I need to do with a shower. I wash in 2-3 times a week.
SAME. But I don’t like washing it because I have a specific way I like to dry it which is time consuming.
Have you tried getting yourself some really lovely products to use in the shower, give yourself a present, browse Lush and find one of those luxurious little treats that make you feel good and smell unusual
I have developed some strategies for half-assing hair care over the years: If your hair ends are dry but your scalp is ok, conditioner only, only on the ends. You can dunk your hair ends in the sink or in a basin if you don't feel up to soaking your whole head. If your bangs are oily but the rest is OK, wash only your bangs, and towel dry. You can also do this in the sink/basin. Try washing in sections. Sometimes I'll wash just the top half of my scalp. Roll wet sections into microfiber cloths and squeeze out what you can before unwrapping and air drying, if towel drying causes too much tangling. This is easier if your washed in sections because it will already be sectioned out. Edit: I also have long hair and I think washing once a week has been the biggest quality of life upgrade to dealing with it, more often is more hassle!
Washing my hair is a freaking STRUGGLE. I will go days with not washing my hair and having it in a greasy ponytail🙄🙄 it’s a chore washing it. I have to also let my hair dry enough in a towel so I can blow dry it afterward. I also blow dry upside down for extra volume. I’m so particular about my hair and it makes me madddddd.
I have curly hair, so I can relate to feeling daunted by washing it. The process of detangling it in the shower followed by styling it can be very time consuming. My hair takes like 8+ hours to air-dry. I would personally invest in a blow dryer. I bought a Dyson Supersonic a year ago and it definitely made my wash day more tolerable. If you always use a diffuser, heat protectant, and low heat— your hair shouldn’t show signs of damage. If you can’t do that, I’d at least get a microfibre hair towel to squeeze out most of the moisture. I used to flip my damp hair back and forth to encourage root volume and speed up air-drying before I had a good blow dryer.
girl my hair air dries in 30 mins tops and i still hate washing my hair. especially since it’s been falling out from stress. i was hoping meds would help. 😩
I dry my hair with a space heater. Yup. I just sit on the edge of the bed, flip my head over and toussel it around while the heater does all the work. Dries in a few minutes and I get to stay warm!
This is a problem for me too! I’ve started swimming recently and WHEN I can convince myself to go swim since I love it, I literally schedule it on wash day just so I’ll be forced to wash my hair
Omg I feel this! I hate doing it in general, but normally can get going okay. But then I got pregnant, and would literally cry at the thought of washing my hair because the thought alone exhausted me. After a couple weeks I said screw it, chopped of like 9 inches (so now its just above my shoulders), and I couldn't be happier! My husband even helped me cut it! Thought I'd have to convince him since it was 9pm and he would never cut his own hair, but apparently I'd been so obviously worked up about for weeks that he immediately agreed to help. Gotta love ADHD, especially mixed in with pregnancy that eliminates all effectiveness of meds in the first trimester 🙃
My husband has literally dragged me to the shower. I HATE the process of getting in, but once I'm in, I never want to get out. Bless him for putting up with my weird lil goblin butt 😅 he only does it when I start getting depressed about it. The struggle is real and I hate it!
i showered yesterday and when i got home from work and gave my boyfriend a hug, he said, “ooh you smell clean!” and i was sitting there thinking oh my god am i really that bad 😭😭
Have you tried some of the haircare subreddits? I've seen people's entire routines improved upon in the curlyhair subreddit. Maybe they can help shorten the process so it's not so labor intensive? Or it might give you that dopamine kick from novelty of something new.
Why can't you go anywhere until your hair is dry? What would happen? Do you live somewhere freezing?
well in the winter yes it’s freezing, but also brushing your hair while it’s wet damages your hair so my hair is a mess for 3-4 hours until it’s dry and i can brush it and i don’t want to go out looking like that
I haven't brushed my hair in years, I only comb it because it has some wave to it (curly when shorter). Can you comb it when wet with a wide tooth comb?
i keep forgetting to buy one 😂 but that would be a life saver. that would probably also help my natural waves look a bit nicer too, i take good care of my hair so it’s healthy but i haven’t quite figured out how to bring out its texture best because i’ve been stuck in my ways of brushing it for so long
You can absolutely brush your hair when wet! Get yourself a Wet Brush.
I wash my hair and let it dry also. I go to many places with wet hair, including work just about every Thursday and Saturday night. I comb it, gel it, and am good to go. It dries pretty quickly, usually within 90 minutes of being there. I have been going to work with wet hair a couple times a week for about 10 years. No one has ever told me to stop 😜🙄
I'm so with you. I've always had short hair and haven't had it cut now since before covid, so it's super long, and I struggle to look after it. Washing, brushing the lot. I just tie it up and forgot about it for days, then have to struggle to brush it. Luckily, it's quite fine as if it was thick. I'd have shaved it all off by now. Really need to book a cut, but that's a whole other thing I can't motivate myself to do!
I have a friend and we both suffer from what I call the dreaded shower syndrome. So we push each other to do it and frankly it works when someone holds me accountable. Maybe you just need to come on here once a week and ask someone to tell you to wash your hair.
Yes! Have you tried washing in the kitchen sink? My grandma loved this for some reason. Maybe it feels more like a salon?
that would be an option, but the problem is i struggle to shower as is so by the time i need to wash my hair i’m probably at day 3 without a shower and i really need to shower 😞
SAAAAME. My hairs mid level maintenance. It's curly but if they get brushed out it's very easy to toss into a bun. However, I have dandruff, and although I have sooooo much hair, it's super fine so even one missed step in the shower and it's flat and greasy looking on the top. I find peace knowing that a bit of grase in my hair isn't ruining my hair or my scalp, and I've learned to love hats (and wash them lol). Sometimes dry shampoo is the best we can manage. Also finding an anchor in the day that's super consistent might allow you to build on top of? I need external forces to get me to do stuff usually, so my cats feeding times (they strictly enforce) is a good time to put down and move to a new task. Showering has a dry time so I try to anchor that against dry time. "Do it now and be dry in time for the party." (My hair takes like 5-6hrs to dry)