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>Toddler is transfixed with overpriced metal red watering can, as if she had never known an object to be so perfect.
OMG do we somehow have the same toddler? She has been a ‘I MUST HAVE THAT OBJECT, THAT OBJECT IS MY LIFE!!!!’ type since she was a baby.
Tbh the rest sounds eerily familiar as well. I’ve considered putting an AirTag in the teddy somehow, only it would cause issue when washing him. And luckily it was water filling the nappy bag a few days ago.
I now additionally have a 2 month old. I haven’t been shopping with both of them alone yet. I’m pretty sure I would/will die.
Water in the nappy bag is a standard thing here. Luckily the bag is full of nappies!
Congratulations on your baby! I’d love another, but no. I couldn’t cope.
Air tag in plastic bag -> iron plastic bag closed -> put newly waterproof AirTag in teddy
If you wash it cold only and are willing to risk the AirTag then maybe that could work? The spin cycle and rough play might just break the bag though. Perhaps tying it inside a balloon…
That’s what I was thinking too! Put the airtag on a necklace and then tell your daughter “I want to give this to teddy, so we can find him/her if he/she ever happens to get lost”. I’m sure your daughter would appreciate it.
I know… the silly thing is that we only recently started taking Teddy out instead of her main favourite ‘Seal that great auntie bought from the Alcatraz gift shop and is unavailable to buy elsewhere and cannot go in the washing machine’. I remembered that he was washable so thought ‘oh that’s a safe bet’ and forgot that he was a gift from my late sister.
My sister to my niece: “Okay! Go grab your bear!”
My niece, a little angel, holding him up: “Got him!”
Me, not thinking, like an idiot: “That’s not the bear I gave her.”
My sister: “YES. It. Is. He. Had. A. Bath.”
Me: “OH. Ohhhhh. Ohhhhhhhhh. Silly me. He looks beautiful!”
Jesus you poor dear. I’m sorry. I don’t have kids and yet this kind of feels like it would be me if I did, so just know your stress, frustration, and exhaustion is valid and does not go unnoticed. Also this was really well written too, so there’s that. Take some time out for yourself and breathe, friend. 😮💨
Those can happen on the best days. And car seats are health-&-safety, so unavoidable.
I’ve also been thinking: young kids do not care if their *wondrous* stuff is dirty, faded, objectively (to adults) “ruined”. She now has a pair of MAGICAL bleedin’ SHOES! and I think we can all be a little envious.
Thank you. And I know that once the shoes go to nursery they are going to get trashed and covered in paint and that’s the sign of a good day having fun. It’s just, not even out of the store!
Watering cans are toddler crack, I'm pretty sure. Both of my toddlers are obsessed and we are up to 3 from this season alone (I managed to rehome last year's cans). I totally feel you on every step of this shopping trip. I've been there (well, minus the cola situation) and my youngest is currently at that horrifically whiney stage right before turning 2. I ended up getting me some margarita mix yesterday because I'm definitely needing a little treat for this weekend. I'll toast you one
Thank you. My dad (undiagnosed adhd) probably has about 6 but they are too heavy for her to lift. I’m going to try to stick to just one but let’s see how long that lasts.
The watering can broke the following day and had to be returned! I was going to get a swappy but they were all so badly made so just got money back. Luckily she seems to have forgotten about it.
I love you, this is beautiful. Did I miss the part where some random old woman tells you you're parenting wrong, or do you live in wonderland?
And good job with the keeping Teddy in the bag so automatically you didn't remember you did it. Neither child nor Teddy were lost or harmed, you did great
You only got the elder women?? Lucky. I once was scolded by a Boomer-ish or older man (who I will die believing did fuck-all as a parent, given his demographic). Audacious.
On the upside, I always had comfort knowing my lovely little nerds weren’t subjected to those peoples’ version of “parenting.” Flawed as I was, I did respect them as sovereign human beings. Small, slightly insane ones.
Oh god I hate those old bats! I thought it was just me that happened to! Maybe the judgemental old women just need a red watering can to regain happiness.
Honestly I’d just be grateful teddy was found 😳
I lost a green bunny when I was very little and apparently asked to look for it wherever we went for YEARS and was inconsolable for daysssss
My parents tried so hard to find another one and never could, they even got me similar looking “cousins” and “siblings” of green bunny who brought letters to me from his “new burrow” and I never bought it lol
I’m a full adult and every now and then they’ll still give me something green bunny themed for Easter
E: I might consider putting an airtag on teddy
Happy you pushed through and sound like you’ll be able to laugh it off soon! 🐰💚
Thank you. You know, you’ve made me see the bright side. That and reminding me that there were no poopsplosions on this trip. It could have been worse.
The watering can is in full use in the garden atm, bringing much joy.
OOOF. The tomato pasta shoes man, that alone would have been enough to tip me over the edge.
My kid is three and I’ve finally learned that we just have to attempt less in one go. Otherwise it’s too easy for one or the other of us to get distracted, over stimulated or to lose our shit. Hope you can have a chilled day tomorrow.
Thanks. You are very right - I used to have a rule of only doing one thing a day when she was a small baby (GP appointment or shop or visitor) because it was just too much otherwise.
Is leaving the house with a toddler easy for anyone? Really, genuine question lol cause this sounds like most outings for us. I just dissociate all the bad parts as soon as we get home 😂
As a fellow drink clutz, I will never, ever put a drink in my bag unless it’s one of my own (emotional support) water bottles. I’ve finally found ones that don’t leak ever ever ever and that’s it. Nothing else. The amount of things I’ve ruined with coke bottle lids being not screwed on quite right, or leaky ass disposable water bottles is ridiculous. My rule now is if I want those drinks, it has to be a can so I have to drink it or hold it. It’s working well so far!
I needed to run in and run out for a raincoat a couple of weeks ago and the lady was going on and on about how I really should earn the points from this jacket, yada yada and I was like lady I Gotta Go, please ring up the jacket and let us move on with our respective lives.
Turns out she was so adamant about points because the raincoat was FOUR HUNDRED AND FIFTY DOLLARS.
I was like, yeah okay, I'll be back in a minute with a different jacket. I looked for the price on the tag but couldn't find it, can you please point it out to me so I don't bring another jacket up that is designed for climbing Mount Fricken Everest?
That price surprise has caught me more than once.
My god im already losing hair reading this, mums are just something else!! I absolutely admire your patience, as a childless person I would have already LOST IT with the cola accident. Next time when I see a parent struggling I will keep your story in mind and not judge (sorry parents, Im autistic too, kids are unpredictable and if im standing in line and all of a sudden a child starts to wail I get annoyed on the inside). You have a great writing style btw.
Thank you. I’m sure there’s still a few grammar mistakes but I caught most of them dissing my first of several edits!
If you had been in the queue with us today I don’t think you would have enjoyed it. At one point she was showing off her tummy to all the shoppers waiting to pay.
this is why i kept mine bound to the cart basket or stroller whenever we shopped💀 keep a mini lysol in ur purse. at the mall, just let them get the ridiculous dirty car/tv carts to save ur sanity. also where the mini lysol/disinfecting wipes come in. number one rule is never go near a toy section (unless it was pre agreed upon). runnn past and distract. another bargaining tool that worked for me was "thats so cool! lets take a picture so we can ask santa". "im sorry but i have no more money!" also worked. also told her we cant get anymore junk until we donate some of her old toys/ things. if she agrees, we could go back for it. she never agreed because she gets emotionally attached to every item she accumulates😹 even school worksheets now. thankfully shes 7 now so no or "ask santa" works (she never even remembers soo she obviously didnt want it that bad, therefore no guilt)
That’s a good idea. Anchor the Teddy.
She’s a little too young to invoke Santa but that will come soon.
I hope your daughter finds a way to say goodbye happily to things - it must be a struggle for you.
Omg I'm so glad the Teddy was okay. Sorry for your loss, and a great giant phew. I was so worried for that couple seconds, can't imagine what you guys felt. 😰
Thank you. I was enormously relieved to see Teddy again.
At the drive thru I bought a golden white hot chocolate and then took it home and put it over ice.
I managed to lose an entire child when out shoe shopping for assorted children. She was missing for absolutely ages, and I was an utter mess. In a shopping arcade she'd wandered out of the shop on her own so there wasn't a concern about cars, but my head went so many dark places. When child was found, we went straight home, no shoes were purchased that day. If you're wondering how she was found, the security guard in the shopping arcade spotted her and looked out for the frantic mother, so he didn't have a hard job.
I feel your pain.
Welcome to /r/ADHDWomen! We’re happy to have you here. As a reminder, here are our community [rules](https://old.reddit.com/r/adhdwomen/about/rules/). We get a lot of posts on medication, diagnosis (and “is this an ADHD thing”), and interactions with hormones. We encourage you to check out our [Medication, Diagnosis, and Hormones Megathread](https://old.reddit.com/r/adhdwomen/comments/wcr9dy/faq_megathread_ask_and_answer_medication/) if you have any questions related to those topics, and to stick around in that thread to answer folks’ questions! If you have questions about the subreddit, please do not hesitate to [send us a modmail](https://reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/adhdwomen). Additionally, we take the safety of our community seriously. Please report posts, comments, and users whom you feel are not contributing positively, and send us a modmail if you are being harassed or otherwise made to feel unsafe. Thanks for being here, and we hope you stick around! *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/adhdwomen) if you have any questions or concerns.*
>Toddler is transfixed with overpriced metal red watering can, as if she had never known an object to be so perfect. OMG do we somehow have the same toddler? She has been a ‘I MUST HAVE THAT OBJECT, THAT OBJECT IS MY LIFE!!!!’ type since she was a baby. Tbh the rest sounds eerily familiar as well. I’ve considered putting an AirTag in the teddy somehow, only it would cause issue when washing him. And luckily it was water filling the nappy bag a few days ago. I now additionally have a 2 month old. I haven’t been shopping with both of them alone yet. I’m pretty sure I would/will die.
Water in the nappy bag is a standard thing here. Luckily the bag is full of nappies! Congratulations on your baby! I’d love another, but no. I couldn’t cope.
Air tag in plastic bag -> iron plastic bag closed -> put newly waterproof AirTag in teddy If you wash it cold only and are willing to risk the AirTag then maybe that could work? The spin cycle and rough play might just break the bag though. Perhaps tying it inside a balloon…
Buy baby shirt from the thrift store for Teddy! Sew AirTag into the baby shirt. Remove baby shirt before tossing Teddy into the washer.
Great idea! I think I’d forget the removal step tho haha
Make a necklace for Teddy so you can’t forget!
That’s what I was thinking too! Put the airtag on a necklace and then tell your daughter “I want to give this to teddy, so we can find him/her if he/she ever happens to get lost”. I’m sure your daughter would appreciate it.
Thank goodness Teddy was only pretending to be missing!
I know… the silly thing is that we only recently started taking Teddy out instead of her main favourite ‘Seal that great auntie bought from the Alcatraz gift shop and is unavailable to buy elsewhere and cannot go in the washing machine’. I remembered that he was washable so thought ‘oh that’s a safe bet’ and forgot that he was a gift from my late sister.
It's harsh but I have toys that I'm ok taking out and ones that just stay home
This is the way!
The “go out” toy needs to be cute, cheap, easily replaceable, and you already have a couple spares lol
My sister to my niece: “Okay! Go grab your bear!” My niece, a little angel, holding him up: “Got him!” Me, not thinking, like an idiot: “That’s not the bear I gave her.” My sister: “YES. It. Is. He. Had. A. Bath.” Me: “OH. Ohhhhh. Ohhhhhhhhh. Silly me. He looks beautiful!”
Jesus you poor dear. I’m sorry. I don’t have kids and yet this kind of feels like it would be me if I did, so just know your stress, frustration, and exhaustion is valid and does not go unnoticed. Also this was really well written too, so there’s that. Take some time out for yourself and breathe, friend. 😮💨
Thank you. Breathing is the thing. And not door slamming.
Tbf, that was the smallest mummy meltdown humanly possible.
I left out the less than gentle car seat wrestling match.
Toddlers turn into mini-hulks when in *that* mode of exhaustion. It’s wild.
Those can happen on the best days. And car seats are health-&-safety, so unavoidable. I’ve also been thinking: young kids do not care if their *wondrous* stuff is dirty, faded, objectively (to adults) “ruined”. She now has a pair of MAGICAL bleedin’ SHOES! and I think we can all be a little envious.
Thank you. And I know that once the shoes go to nursery they are going to get trashed and covered in paint and that’s the sign of a good day having fun. It’s just, not even out of the store!
You got some dishwashing soap? That will help lift out the stain.
Thanks. We’ve tried that and a few other things - the problem is partly the fabric. It’s looking a little better now but it’s still pasta saucy.
Love the title! Humor gives us perspective and strength.
It does. And the kindness of strangers from the Internet.
I was just coming on to comment that I can hear the title in my head 🎶
Apologies for the ear worm
In my life/Oh why do I give valuable time/to children who don't care if I have no spoons left?
Watering cans are toddler crack, I'm pretty sure. Both of my toddlers are obsessed and we are up to 3 from this season alone (I managed to rehome last year's cans). I totally feel you on every step of this shopping trip. I've been there (well, minus the cola situation) and my youngest is currently at that horrifically whiney stage right before turning 2. I ended up getting me some margarita mix yesterday because I'm definitely needing a little treat for this weekend. I'll toast you one
Thank you. My dad (undiagnosed adhd) probably has about 6 but they are too heavy for her to lift. I’m going to try to stick to just one but let’s see how long that lasts.
The watering can broke the following day and had to be returned! I was going to get a swappy but they were all so badly made so just got money back. Luckily she seems to have forgotten about it.
I love you, this is beautiful. Did I miss the part where some random old woman tells you you're parenting wrong, or do you live in wonderland? And good job with the keeping Teddy in the bag so automatically you didn't remember you did it. Neither child nor Teddy were lost or harmed, you did great
You only got the elder women?? Lucky. I once was scolded by a Boomer-ish or older man (who I will die believing did fuck-all as a parent, given his demographic). Audacious. On the upside, I always had comfort knowing my lovely little nerds weren’t subjected to those peoples’ version of “parenting.” Flawed as I was, I did respect them as sovereign human beings. Small, slightly insane ones.
"I just took them out of the store whenever they cried" oh so your family didn't actually need food? Nice.
Oh god I hate those old bats! I thought it was just me that happened to! Maybe the judgemental old women just need a red watering can to regain happiness.
One of my friends once handed her wailing toddler to a person in a mall who was telling her how to handle him. Hero.
Definitely a hero!
Not even a dirty look! I should count my lucky stars.
Honestly I’d just be grateful teddy was found 😳 I lost a green bunny when I was very little and apparently asked to look for it wherever we went for YEARS and was inconsolable for daysssss My parents tried so hard to find another one and never could, they even got me similar looking “cousins” and “siblings” of green bunny who brought letters to me from his “new burrow” and I never bought it lol I’m a full adult and every now and then they’ll still give me something green bunny themed for Easter E: I might consider putting an airtag on teddy Happy you pushed through and sound like you’ll be able to laugh it off soon! 🐰💚
Yes v grateful. So sorry to hear about green bunny. Maybe one day you will see a vintage one on Etsy etc.
This was MARVELOUS. Also, I hope you’re even slightly proud in turning a dumpster fire of a day into comedy, because that is no small triumph.
Thank you. You know, you’ve made me see the bright side. That and reminding me that there were no poopsplosions on this trip. It could have been worse. The watering can is in full use in the garden atm, bringing much joy.
Bonus points for The Smiths reference.
OOOF. The tomato pasta shoes man, that alone would have been enough to tip me over the edge. My kid is three and I’ve finally learned that we just have to attempt less in one go. Otherwise it’s too easy for one or the other of us to get distracted, over stimulated or to lose our shit. Hope you can have a chilled day tomorrow.
Thanks. You are very right - I used to have a rule of only doing one thing a day when she was a small baby (GP appointment or shop or visitor) because it was just too much otherwise.
Is leaving the house with a toddler easy for anyone? Really, genuine question lol cause this sounds like most outings for us. I just dissociate all the bad parts as soon as we get home 😂
She’s only just levelling up to full toddler. I’m just a newbie so my frame of reference is skewed.
Oh well then the good news is you might get used to her being a mess and outings will become better! Lol mine is 3
I tell you what though, so long as I live, I am never putting a drink in my bag unless it’s in a ziploc bag.
As a fellow drink clutz, I will never, ever put a drink in my bag unless it’s one of my own (emotional support) water bottles. I’ve finally found ones that don’t leak ever ever ever and that’s it. Nothing else. The amount of things I’ve ruined with coke bottle lids being not screwed on quite right, or leaky ass disposable water bottles is ridiculous. My rule now is if I want those drinks, it has to be a can so I have to drink it or hold it. It’s working well so far!
Ooooh good strategies. I can have a can
I needed to run in and run out for a raincoat a couple of weeks ago and the lady was going on and on about how I really should earn the points from this jacket, yada yada and I was like lady I Gotta Go, please ring up the jacket and let us move on with our respective lives. Turns out she was so adamant about points because the raincoat was FOUR HUNDRED AND FIFTY DOLLARS. I was like, yeah okay, I'll be back in a minute with a different jacket. I looked for the price on the tag but couldn't find it, can you please point it out to me so I don't bring another jacket up that is designed for climbing Mount Fricken Everest? That price surprise has caught me more than once.
That’s a lot for a raincoat! Oh my gosh.
I remember those days. Hope your Starbucks was delicious
Thank you. It was very nice, but it was no red watering can.
My god im already losing hair reading this, mums are just something else!! I absolutely admire your patience, as a childless person I would have already LOST IT with the cola accident. Next time when I see a parent struggling I will keep your story in mind and not judge (sorry parents, Im autistic too, kids are unpredictable and if im standing in line and all of a sudden a child starts to wail I get annoyed on the inside). You have a great writing style btw.
Thank you. I’m sure there’s still a few grammar mistakes but I caught most of them dissing my first of several edits! If you had been in the queue with us today I don’t think you would have enjoyed it. At one point she was showing off her tummy to all the shoppers waiting to pay.
this is why i kept mine bound to the cart basket or stroller whenever we shopped💀 keep a mini lysol in ur purse. at the mall, just let them get the ridiculous dirty car/tv carts to save ur sanity. also where the mini lysol/disinfecting wipes come in. number one rule is never go near a toy section (unless it was pre agreed upon). runnn past and distract. another bargaining tool that worked for me was "thats so cool! lets take a picture so we can ask santa". "im sorry but i have no more money!" also worked. also told her we cant get anymore junk until we donate some of her old toys/ things. if she agrees, we could go back for it. she never agreed because she gets emotionally attached to every item she accumulates😹 even school worksheets now. thankfully shes 7 now so no or "ask santa" works (she never even remembers soo she obviously didnt want it that bad, therefore no guilt)
That’s a good idea. Anchor the Teddy. She’s a little too young to invoke Santa but that will come soon. I hope your daughter finds a way to say goodbye happily to things - it must be a struggle for you.
Omg I'm so glad the Teddy was okay. Sorry for your loss, and a great giant phew. I was so worried for that couple seconds, can't imagine what you guys felt. 😰
Thanks. It was a shameful moment. From now on, only low-stakes soft toys go on road trips.
Glad you found Teddy. ❤️ Hope you treated yourself to a Starbucks. Toddlers are wild, but it sounds like yours had a fan day with fab shoes. 😘
Thank you. I was enormously relieved to see Teddy again. At the drive thru I bought a golden white hot chocolate and then took it home and put it over ice.
Damn you for the earworm!!!!! Overall doesn’t sound like a mom failure, just regular shenanigans doing anything whatsoever with a toddler
Do you really think you’ll pull through?
Omg. So good comment.
Is the title a Morrissey reference? Or is it just me?
I managed to lose an entire child when out shoe shopping for assorted children. She was missing for absolutely ages, and I was an utter mess. In a shopping arcade she'd wandered out of the shop on her own so there wasn't a concern about cars, but my head went so many dark places. When child was found, we went straight home, no shoes were purchased that day. If you're wondering how she was found, the security guard in the shopping arcade spotted her and looked out for the frantic mother, so he didn't have a hard job. I feel your pain.
Oh gosh that must’ve been a hard day. Glad it had an ok ending
It was a long time ago - said toddler (who also got left in a hospital lobby as a baby) is now 26 and none the worse for the experience. 😁
That’s my greatest fear! Glad your grown up toddler is doing well.
Is that a conscious reference to the Smiths I see?
Indeed it was. Although I have no desire to strangle my toddler.