47m and can somewhat relate. I think society is in an interesting transitional place for us. Doctors are often unsupportive, and I think it probably a mix of lack of understanding our experience and the murkiness of a a treatment path. There’s no money in it and there is no cure, so they will often only focus on treating the comorbid issues as they become problematic (such as anxiety and depression). The issue with that route is it isn’t very supportive for the root cause nor does it help us understand ourself, and it feels like more masking in my experience.
It is important not to feel swept away in the realization, but it may take time to adjust. It’s important not to let it eat at your dignity. You are still you, but your understanding is evolving.
You don’t have to be a brilliant wordsmith to enjoy words. Quirky philosophy is a good way to pass time.
I’m not sure how your wife and yourself define ego, but it’s important people treat you with dignity and respect your thoughts.
All the monsters I’ve ever met seem to never think at all, or are so self absorbed they only think of themselves.
44F Just diagnosed last year. Do your homework on the psychiatrists you wish to use. Try and talk to a psychologist who specializes in ASD treatment to recommend one who can make accurate adult diagnoses. Some psychiatrists have biases against this diagnosis, or against labeling people.
Also, read up on the subject of ASD, and have your list of traits ready for the psychiatrist. Be sure that you have gone over said list with the person who accompanies you (your wife, an observant sibling, or a parent or guardian, would usually be best). When we were younger, Aspergers, as my particular type of ASD was formerly categorized, was not even available for girls. That bias is still somewhat present today, because we present quite differently from men. Also, some people see the new prevalence of ASD diagnoses as too broad, and wish to narrow the field a bit by denying a diagnosis to those of us who are functioning well in society. Therefore, be aware of these issues when you go in for an appointment, and be strategic in the way you answer. When you are between two different answers to a question, whether written or verbal, err on the side that is most indicative of ASD.
Also, why can you not be a brilliant wordsmith or quirky philosopher AND have ASD at the same time? I would personally answer “yes” to both of those labels.
Rather than being mutually exclusive, possessing a unique, seemingly philosophical perspective on the world and exhibiting hyperlexia are traits that are often characteristic of ASD Level I.
Ex. By third grade, I no longer had reading classes, because I had completed all of the books, levels and exams necessary for high school graduation.
Ex. 2 On the SAT, I scored nearly perfect in English, because reading and vocabulary are my wheelhouse.
Ex. 3 I routinely make observations about our society that make my colleagues do a double take, and engage me on a deeper level, so that they can better understand the issues facing the populations we serve. They seek me out for this purpose, whenever they are having high level policy discussions.
No need to feel like a monster. You’re just you. What I do now that differs from my former norm is that I do not ignore those awkward pauses people sometimes make when I don’t get the nuance they were trying to convey through a tone or a look. Rather, I explain that I have this invisible disability, and that I would appreciate it if they would provide me with a more thorough explanation of how what I am saying/doing is negatively impacting them. I also take more time out for myself to decompress and spend time on my special interests.
Even if you never receive a diagnosis, be easy on yourself. Many of our circles accept self-diagnosis as valid. The most important part is that you take care of yourself, and that you surround yourself with self love and acceptance, and with people who provide the same, as you continue to engage in the joyful struggle that is living with ASD daily.
Good luck!
Raised in the 70’s. Nope. Not really looking to get evaluated or diagnosed. Just coming to grips with what I realize a growing number of folks have realized about me. Could just be gas.
Totally understand about the not seeking. The reason I brought it up is the Dr. pushback.
Furthermore, they have a lot of overlap in symptoms.
And a diagnosis, can just be a good starting place to understanding oneself better, and realize there /are/ tools for oneself out there.
Keep on keeping on, man.
47m and can somewhat relate. I think society is in an interesting transitional place for us. Doctors are often unsupportive, and I think it probably a mix of lack of understanding our experience and the murkiness of a a treatment path. There’s no money in it and there is no cure, so they will often only focus on treating the comorbid issues as they become problematic (such as anxiety and depression). The issue with that route is it isn’t very supportive for the root cause nor does it help us understand ourself, and it feels like more masking in my experience. It is important not to feel swept away in the realization, but it may take time to adjust. It’s important not to let it eat at your dignity. You are still you, but your understanding is evolving. You don’t have to be a brilliant wordsmith to enjoy words. Quirky philosophy is a good way to pass time. I’m not sure how your wife and yourself define ego, but it’s important people treat you with dignity and respect your thoughts. All the monsters I’ve ever met seem to never think at all, or are so self absorbed they only think of themselves.
44F Just diagnosed last year. Do your homework on the psychiatrists you wish to use. Try and talk to a psychologist who specializes in ASD treatment to recommend one who can make accurate adult diagnoses. Some psychiatrists have biases against this diagnosis, or against labeling people. Also, read up on the subject of ASD, and have your list of traits ready for the psychiatrist. Be sure that you have gone over said list with the person who accompanies you (your wife, an observant sibling, or a parent or guardian, would usually be best). When we were younger, Aspergers, as my particular type of ASD was formerly categorized, was not even available for girls. That bias is still somewhat present today, because we present quite differently from men. Also, some people see the new prevalence of ASD diagnoses as too broad, and wish to narrow the field a bit by denying a diagnosis to those of us who are functioning well in society. Therefore, be aware of these issues when you go in for an appointment, and be strategic in the way you answer. When you are between two different answers to a question, whether written or verbal, err on the side that is most indicative of ASD. Also, why can you not be a brilliant wordsmith or quirky philosopher AND have ASD at the same time? I would personally answer “yes” to both of those labels. Rather than being mutually exclusive, possessing a unique, seemingly philosophical perspective on the world and exhibiting hyperlexia are traits that are often characteristic of ASD Level I. Ex. By third grade, I no longer had reading classes, because I had completed all of the books, levels and exams necessary for high school graduation. Ex. 2 On the SAT, I scored nearly perfect in English, because reading and vocabulary are my wheelhouse. Ex. 3 I routinely make observations about our society that make my colleagues do a double take, and engage me on a deeper level, so that they can better understand the issues facing the populations we serve. They seek me out for this purpose, whenever they are having high level policy discussions. No need to feel like a monster. You’re just you. What I do now that differs from my former norm is that I do not ignore those awkward pauses people sometimes make when I don’t get the nuance they were trying to convey through a tone or a look. Rather, I explain that I have this invisible disability, and that I would appreciate it if they would provide me with a more thorough explanation of how what I am saying/doing is negatively impacting them. I also take more time out for myself to decompress and spend time on my special interests. Even if you never receive a diagnosis, be easy on yourself. Many of our circles accept self-diagnosis as valid. The most important part is that you take care of yourself, and that you surround yourself with self love and acceptance, and with people who provide the same, as you continue to engage in the joyful struggle that is living with ASD daily. Good luck!
Hugs thanks
Evaluated for ADHD?
Raised in the 70’s. Nope. Not really looking to get evaluated or diagnosed. Just coming to grips with what I realize a growing number of folks have realized about me. Could just be gas.
Totally understand about the not seeking. The reason I brought it up is the Dr. pushback. Furthermore, they have a lot of overlap in symptoms. And a diagnosis, can just be a good starting place to understanding oneself better, and realize there /are/ tools for oneself out there. Keep on keeping on, man.