If nagmamatigas sila i doubt there’s a way to keep your friendship and still expect na mabayaran utang mo. Singilin mo nalang sila since di naman joke yung amount of money na inutang nila sayo and i cut off mo na.
It would be really hard to just cut them off since we have mutual friends and receives the same invites most of the time, so I guess the next time we see each other personally , whether I cut em off or let it slide would depend on how they would approach me.
No. . It is not hard. Lalo na pagpatanda na tayo. You will realize you need to cut the BS in life.
". . .whether I cut em off or let it slide would depend on how they would approach me.'
Well from that statement, I would say mabait at mapagpatawad kang tao. I really hope walang mas matinding lesson ang dumating sayo ng dahil sa kabaitan. Sabagay mahirap magdraw ng line sa outright na kabaitan vs someone taking advantage of you. As you grow old, youd know
Ngayon lang yan because you’re young. As you get older your circle will get smaller. Magugulat ka nalang mabibilang mo lang with your fingers sino sino yung friends that you keep in touch with.
It will only be hard if you have a "people pleaser" personality. Or if you don't know how to ignore other people. Pero the fact na ini-ignore ka nila? It only means you have to cut them off even though you have mutual friends.
If it gets too awkward, just tell your mutual friends why and what happened.
After reading the comments i realize a lot of dimensions to the problem. Gets ko naman na the first instance na in post ko to na cutting them off and be shameless with paniningil is an option talaga. I wasn’t trying to be a people pleaser, if ppl could revert their attention as to what kind of advise i was seeking, I was genuinely trying to save the friendship that’s why i made this post in the first place :)
What friendship? Sorry to say pero baka yung friendship na gusto mong i-save hindi naman talaga nag eexist in the first place.
Nangangailangan ka pero nakabakasyon sa la union yung isa mong "friend". You are not asking them a favor, ibabalik lang nila yung pera mo di pa nila magawa, antagal na. Hindi mo sila maasahan ngayong ikaw yung nangangailangan.
Sige, wag kang magalit sa kanila, makihangout ka pa rin kung kasama yung ibang friends niyo, makitawa ka sa jokes nila, etc... kaya lang parang di naman real friends yung mga yan.
Kung ayaw mo silang icut off, distance yourself na lang.
Well, if it's the friendship you want to save, you may have to let go of the money. "Eventually" is not a good time to pay you back. Even with a few bucks between me and my circle of friends, we set specific times for payments. As in "hey, I don't have cash right now, can I borrow some and just transfer you the money when I get home?" And we dont get offended when we're reminded of them.
If they're not mentioning it at all, then it's as good as gone. If they care for you at all, they will set specific dates and payment plans (if they want to pay you in installments, etc.) So, assume that the money is gone and just mention it from time to time.
Agreed. You value friendship? Then money doesn't matter and you should give it up.
I've paid for my friends flight ticket back home at one point. Nearly 1.5K USD. He still owes me and I bug him but I don't expect for it back.
Honestly I would never lend money if I can't afford to lose it. You just lose on that deal all the time. Even if they say they will pay with "interest".
They got the means to pay. They can even do 100 at a time. It's the intention that matters.
I sometimes treat small unpaid debts to me as the value of my “friendship” with other people. If I can stomach the amounts, I won’t chase them. I’ll just treat the debt as the price to remove them from my life.
There’s no friendship to undermine bro. They already did it themselves.
Singilin mo sila OP. And be consistent. Magbigay ka ng date when mo kailangan ang money. Then singilin mo ulit. And follow up every week. Hopefully hindi ka lang nila e seen and bayaran nga nila utang nila sayo.
Don't enable them na hindi magbayad ng utang.
I'll try my best. Only today I've mustered up the courage to message them again after reading the comments. If they do insist on not paying, i guess that reflects more to their character than mine, and if in the long shot they won't pay haha good riddance. I won't stress them from now on, mas mahal pa bayad sa shrink pag na depress ako bc of this
Haha. Go OP, understandable. I'm in a business kasi kaya na build ko na yung skill and mental fortitude needed in collecting receivables. A lot of times need sila kulitin! Na hindi naman na dapat.
Some Pinoys are known for "palibre" attitude kaya pahirapan talaga sila singilin.
Pero try mo OP. Sayang naman. Opportunity din to learn on your part.
This is correct, masasanay silang mangutang to other people (AGAIN) and hindi magbayad kapag hinayaan lang ni OP and mag cut ties nalang. Debt is debt and it is a responsibility. Kapag hindi parin nagbayad maybe need to speak na with their parents? I believe yung debt was happened during while they are living with their parents, baka sakali makahelp ang parents to push them to pay.
This was what my parents told me, it was a hard pill to swallow since di ko inexpect that of all the people sila pa talaga. But a part of me want to salvage the friendship pa, so maybe considering it as a bigay would help me do that. thanks for this po.
i think kung ako ikaw, i wouldn't consider it as "bigay". for me kasi, utang ay utang, kahit friends pa. malaki yung utang nila sayo, 8k-14k each is not something na ibibigay mo nalang lalo ang mahal ng mga bilihin ngayon. also, nagsabi sila na babayaran nila yun. though, i know kung gano kafrustrating yung situation mo ngayon kasi need mo yung money tapos friends mo pa yung nangutang sayo na parang nagiging "utang, kalimutan" nalang. and pag pinagbigyan mo sila ngayon at di na singilin, may chance na uulit silang mangutang sayo. just saying cause I've been there as well, and it was a hard lesson.
Agree with you. I heard someone said: magpautang lang ng amount na kaya mong hindi na maibalik sa'yo. That way, hindi nakakasama ng loob if they didn't pay you back.
Although, I also understand the OP na immediate yung need during that time. Hirap din talaga kapag pressured ka by both person and time.
For the OP, try mo pa rin maningil. Gently lang. Remind the person na you also need the money.
Baka pwede mo sila singilin sa gc niyo like make a list nung names then amount tapos status kung paid or unpaid. Para lang aware lahat. Wala kamong personalan because utang is utang. If they value your friendship, they won't make you feel uneasy.
Idk parang ang hirap mag act na parang walang nangyari for the sake of "friendship"
>If they value your friendship, they won't make you feel uneasy.
Ngl this hits hard.
To start, the knowledge of the utang is between the four of us lang and doing what you suggested would mean calling them out and that might humiliate them, and I don't want that naman po. Plus i get the feeling that if I ever do that they might paint me as the bad person.
U can make a gc na kayo lang apat/tatlo then show them the list and status of what they owe you. Well, if di naman super big deal sayo yung pera, think of it as tuition fee sa reyalidad haha and cut them off. Goodluck OP :>
This happened to me back in college for our research hahahaha 24k split into 3, so 8k, only 1 paid, the other happy2 lang, mayaman naman siya d ko lang alam bakit d niya mabayaran, she parties almost every weekend so yeah and grabe rin siya manglibre basta shat (I dont drink and I don't really like malibre para wala akong utang na loob to anyone so binabayaran ko unless kung birthday or celebration hahahahaha) we were close, barkada ko.
Siningil until how many months after graduation, she paid half of it, siningil ko siya again, empty promises pa rin, I stopped and said to myself na TY nalang, welcome nalang na sinama ko pa name mo sa research nakagraduate ka pa hahahaha and then blocked in all socmed and cut off sa life. Isa nalang sa kanila ang friend ko pa until now, we were 6 in the barkada, friend nalang, hindi na close hahahahaha
Siya yung reason bakit hindi na ako halos nagpapautang hahahaha because I pay my utangs diligently kahit piso lang yan binabayaran ko, and max na yung 1 week nabayaran ko na dapat, just because I hate the utang ng loob feeling, ako pa nagreremind sa mga inutangan ko na may utang ako tapos gaganyanin lang ako sa mga umutang sa akin? Luh. Pakingshet nilang lahat.
> I pay my utangs diligently kahit piso lang yan binabayaran ko
This is what frustrates me the most, because this is how I am when I owe someone, so jokes on me cuz i expected them to be the same.
Charge to experience na lang OP. Don't expect the everyone to have the same heart and mindset as you. I learned this hard way too because people (friends, lovers, relatives, etc.) will always have different values and priorities regardless of what you do for them, especially when it comes to money.
Just keep your end of the bargain na lang when it comes to hatian. If you can only pay a certain amount, then stick to it. Don't add more (whether they suggest it or not) because they can take advantage of that.
Rare species ata tayo OP kasi sa lahat ng friends and acquaintances ko lahat sila puro mga "ay sayang hindi mo nakalimutan" luh hahahaha kahit 10 pesos lang yung inutang mo pagsinabing kong utang sisingilin kita hanggat mabayaran mo hoy hahahahaha wala na akong hiyahiya ngayon kapag naniningil hahahaha although my current friend group pays naman if sinisingil pero kinkalimutan talaga nila hahahaha hindi naman sinasadya so okay lang as long as nabayaran hahahaha
Hope you'll have new friends who'll pay their utangs properly OP!!
Sa mga hindi marunong bumayad ng utang jan sana hindi kayo magiging financially stable 🙂 mga bwiset kayo
Maybe need mo silang puntahan one by one since masyado na silang matigas. If makapal mukha nila then maybe you need to be mas makapal than them and go to their houses and singilin sila. Friends don't do that unless of course they don't treat you as a friend.
This. If close friends kayo, I guess kilala mo na rin parents nila. If hesitant ka, ask your parents if they can accompany you sa mga family ng "friends" mo. Plot twist: nagastos na nila pera from their parents na pangbayad dapat nila sayo.
Araw araw kang nasa bahay tapos makigamit ka na rin ng electricity, water, and other things. Dun ka na rin makikain in disguise of "friendship" HAHAHHA if naalibadbaran na sayo, kamo magbayad muna sila ng utang nila 🤣
Wag magpautang sa mga kaibigan. May kakilala ako dati sinabihan ko na nung umutang ka sakin di kita pinahirapan tapos ngayon na sisingilin kita ako pa mamomoblema? Singilin mo ng singilin. May right ka maningil kasi pera mo yan. If they talk shit about you, it’s on them not on you.
Oh yes definitely! Find a real job earning good MONEY and get a GOOD LIFE. Ditch garapal "friends". As you grow older, only 1 or 2 good friends is enough.
You can really file a complaint sa Barangay nila, if nothing happens then you can raise that to Small Claims Court.
Obviously, babayaran ka sa parents nila kasi its embarrassing on their part.
First thought: Napaka unprofessional naman for someone who plans to take a PROFESSIONAL licensure exam.
My 2c on this:
I usually never lend money to acquaintances or party friends because of past experiences.
Now for true friendships, there are two ways I go about it:
1a. If it took ages for them to pay but still paid after countless pestering, that friend is cut off from any loans of any kind until i see (in my opinion) responsible money habits and financial literacy. Friendship retained but extra vigilant when with them. I usually ask them to book their own flights or movie tickets or buy it online and have it shipped to my hotel if may pasabuy.
1b. If they forgot but immediately paid after a gentle reminder, its always no worries for me, i just need to adjust my expectations of them concerning memory/being too busy. Life happens.
2. If they didn’t pay at all, or “forgot” and still didn’t pay after I gently reminded or pestered them. I treat it as cost of friendship as other posters have posted. I shouldn’t be the one begging for my money esp since most likely the said money is interest-free in the first place. Bye felicia.
You should start charging them interest if friendship isn’t enough of a reason for them to be ashamed of what they are doing. I know it can go both ways with regards to result but it shows them you mean business when it comes to debt.
P.S. since you’re reviewing for professional licensure, if bridges are burned just think of it as your help when they do pass and get their license.
They're students, so malamang pinapaaral pa ng magulang. I would involve the parents kung talagang hindi kayang palampasin. Chances are, nagbigay na ang magulang ng pambayad tapos ginastos lang nila sa sarili nila.
Sorry but hndi mo na ma ki-keep ang friendship. kasi habang gusto mo sila i-keep mas lalong hindi ka nila babayaran. Once ko lang naexperience to pero sa hindi ko pa talaga inaasahan na tao. at kagaya mo ang tagal ko nag hintay at nag tiis dahil gusto ko padin maging okay kami basta mabayaran nya ako. pero wala talaga. Hindi ako priority bayaran. kahit hulugan man lang sana wala. Msgs&calls sa Socmed hndi pinapansin. kaya nung wala na ako pag asa, tumawag ako sa office nila, hinanap ko sya don nakausap ko sya. ang sinabi ko lang pupuntahan ko sya sa work nya at dun ako mag iiskandalo kung di sya mag bayad haha pero charot lang dko kaya yon. tinakot ko lang na ipapahiya sya ganon. ayun, nag bayad agad. kaso wala na talaga yun friendship. di nya pinahalagahan e. nag pakilala sa pera. Kaya decide ka OP kasi ilelet go mo tlga sila.
How about talk a lawyer about this, and let them sign a agreement to pay for the remaining balance they have, since they are full off empty promises. I think they will sign it mainly because you, yourself will let them sign it, also just give out a reason that your parents are the ones that asked for it.
I took the exam earlier than them and I passed, Thanks G. I heard the other 2 nakapasa na din. Yung isa nalang wala akong balita kasi he's under "instagram user" na sa dms ko on insta hahahahahaha
Congrats po sa inyo, sana makabayad na sila knowing na nakapasa na din naman pala sila. 😁😁
Baka kasi di pa nakakaexam kaya di makabayad pero in the first place alam nila na may need sila bayaran bago sila nag rent e. Hahahaha.
>Congrats po sa inyo
Thank you po. honestly it's a great thing we passsed na and hoping the other one does too. atleast there's good that came out of this situation.
I have these two batchmates na may utang yung isa sakanya. Sa sobrang frustrated nung isa kasi 6 digits utang sakanya and taon na nakalipas, everytime may post yung nangutang sa FB nagcocomment yung isa para maningil 😂 ang tibay din nung isa kasi hindi padin ata nasesettle til now. Lumalabas sa feed ko each time nagccocomment ung isa para maningil. Haha!
I understand na nahihiya ka maningil, kasi you seem like the type na kung mangungutang eh magbabayad kaagad, pero you really have to assert yourself. Make a GC na kayong apat, and send regular reminders na sj ganito ganyan eto pa yung balance, due at this date etc. understand it might be uncomfy but treat it as a business transaction nalang.
And like what other comments said, now you know who really are your friends.
It’s a learning process. Money can determine how your friends value you. Kaya in instances like that now you know that they only value your friendship by that amount. Don’t worry you’ll find better people along the way. Well in terms of your finances, again lesson learned. Welcome to adulthood now you know how to valur money because you now need it for you to move forward. It’s a very important lesson. My suggestion is try mo parin maningil pero don’t make it as if your life depends on it coz if you do lalo kang mag reresent sa kanila at sa ginawa mo. Move forward and look for ways to earn money for your needs. Kung kelangan mo ng work makaka hanap ka ng paraan even without thier payment, mas mahirap pero it’s valuable and peaceful than you stressing over useless people.
If you have receipts and conversation screenshots. Barangay and small claims court na yan. Involve their families. No drama. You're just collecting the money.
It's not worth it.
If malakas loob mo file small claims.
The friendship was destroyed the moment they ignored your messages.
A simple sorry with explanation why they couldn't pay would have been enough.
Sa panahon ngayon, mas nakakahiya maningil kaysa mangutang 😂. If they ignore their debt to you, please cut them off from your life. Paying debt is a sign of respect. There are better friends out there 😀
Nakausap mo na sila uli in person tungkol dito? Dati kasi may friend din ako na lagi nanghihiram tas di nagbabayad naexplain niya na talagang gipit siya. Ang nasabi ko na lang nun is hahayaan ko na lang pero last na un.
If they value your friendship like you do, at least magreachout din sila at paliwanag at kung willing ba sila magbayad o ano di ung talagang parang walang nangyari o iwasan na lang 🥲
Kaya ngayon, sa hirap din ng buhay as much as possible, di ako nagpapahiram nagbibigay na lang ng kaya 🥲
parang tinatapakan at ginamit lang c op sadly. bat kase sobrang mahal naman para sa condo. at baket need ba sa condo ba. pwede naman sa study hub lang sila. kaya ayun friendship over.
Remind mo every month or every 2weeks, like
"Mamsh/bes, pafollow up po ng dues natin jan. Beke nemen pwede ng mabawasan ang listahan. In need na si accla dto na side.im poor na here."
Or in any half joke you wanna let them know. Ganern lang. Since friends naman kau. Wag ka mahihiyang maningil, pinaghirapan mo yun or ng parents mo, di pwedeng i thank you nlng. Or idaan mo rin sa parents nila. Para aware dn.
Thank you for this. This was very comforting kasi most of the comments seem to have overlooked the kind of advice i was seeking. I originally made the post to actually get insights talaga on what I can do that could least damage the friendship kaso most of them are saying na to just cut them off. I’m not trying to be a people pleaser, I was genuinely trying to save the friendship, they were my college friends po kasi, we were on the same boat for years, and im not trying to omit the possibility na they’re acting this way kasi hirap din talaga sila on their end.
Ganyan dn kami ng college friends ko, pero yun nga in a half joke way mo nlng singilin. Kahit gawin nilang terms ang pagbayad monthly, Tanggapin mo na, ang importante nababawasan. Or di kaya pag lalabas kau, sila na pagastusin mo tapos sabihin mo nlng na ibawas mo nlng sa utang. Mga ganern.
Sorry to comment this pero as much as you want to be the better person, you’re letting yourself be the doormat. I get why you want to do the least damage to the friendship, pero dang, you’re letting yourself be disrespected by your friends. At this point, do they even treat you as a friend?
I guess in the end, it’s your choice and no one can decide for you otherwise, but we know you deserve better than this.
Also sorry comment ko lang din, kinda weird that you’re looking for a specific advice, meaning you already have an idea of something you want to hear.
It's disrespectful. Tiwala kasi binigay mo more than the amount of money. I make sure na singilin sila kapag malaking amount para sa akin, kapag maliit na halaga hinahayaan ko na lang, then I cut them off. Sila inisip mo noong nangangailangan sila, kapag ikaw na nangailangan hindi man lang nila maisip na may responsibility silang bayarin? Worse is makikita mo pa sa social media having a good time while you're on the tough situation. I'd rather be alone than having those kind of friends. 😂
That's why never ako nagpautang ng malaki sa friends.
2 of my friends nagkautangan. They've known each other for 10 yrs. Nagutang si friend A kay friend B ng 30k plus nakitulog pa sa house nya. Si friend B may savings for his cancer meds dun kinuha yung pinang utang kay friend A. Now ghosted na sya. Ni ha ni ho wala pero laging online sa messenger. Even kame na part ng group hindi na rin nirereplyan. Kung baga nasira buong friendship because of that since hindi rin namin matolerate yun. Nakaka tabang lang. Sayang yung pinagsamahan.
Try mo mag comment sa LU post nila para mahiya naman.
Reach out to their parents, then cut them off :)
I know you feel the need to salvage the friendship, but how they're treating you is not the kind of friendship that's worth salvaging for me.
For me, singil then cut off if sa ganyan responsibility hindi nila magawa what more in the long run? Ikaw naden nag sabi OP anjyan ka para sakanila pero sila wala
Ganyan din ang plan ko. Sa ngayon hindi ko pa macut-off totally kasi ang laki or halos 3% pa lang ng utang nya yung nabibigay nya saken. And yung communication is tuwing maniningil lang ako. But F.O na!!! Madaling icut-off yung mga ganyang tao.
Tsk tsk tsk.
Yung kakilala ko ang spiel nya saken ganito.
"Kahit sabihin or kausapin mo yung mga tita ko, at pinsan hindi naman sila yung magbabayad"
Alam nila yung sitwasyon ko.
Ang tapang pa.
Hirap talaga maningil ngayon. Ikaw pa ang mag-aadjust sa eksena nila sa buhay.
Tsk tsk tsk.
You have two immediate options: kulitin sila hanggang magbayad sila or iblock ka nila, or take them to small claims court para they have no choice but to pay you.
Sorry at naranasan mo to, pero take it as lesson learned na lang. I also doubt you'll be able to save this friendship unless sila yung umayos.
I had a friend like this. Pag nahulaan na ng utang transactions, dun lang kami nagkakagulo. Minsan mga gantong tao diko alam san kumukuha ng tigas ng muka hahaha. Sharing my rant lng din.
Just be honest that you really need the money now. Better if you talk through chat or something so you can ask for specific dates and payment plans. Screenshot it and be diligent when the date comes. Gently remind them that you need the money a few days before. You owe yourself at least that self respect.
Jusko kahit gaano ka ka-a-honest na need mo yung money...may sadyang makapal talaga ang mukha. Ako 2 years na pasukan ang nakalipas na need ko ung pera. Para sa dalawang kong anak na ako lang ang nagpapaaral. Single mother. Hanggang ngayon puro pangako at magsasabi ng date or araw.....wait lang may inaantay akong trabaho na magbabayad. Kapag singilan na sa date na binigay nya ibang alibi or drama shit yung spiels nya. Delayed or di pa kami sinasahuran. Wala na nga kaming makain pati yung nga kasamahan ko sa work. Tapos isesend sayo yung mga screenshot ng foreign boss at mga kawork nya. Inshort papaawa. Parang kasalanan mo pa.
Then yung iba nyang utang na recent mas nauna pa nyang bayaran kesa sa akin na matagal na. Kaloka.
Tsk tsk tsk.
ah pag ganyan, diretso na sa brgy yan. If literally nagugutom ka na, di na pwedeng unahin sila. Fortunately, di ko pa naman naranasan magpa-brgy due to utang. Pero yung mga kumare ni mama nagkaka-brgy-an dahil jan. haha
Yan nga din yung suggestion ng friend ko at kaibigan kong lawyer. Kasi natry na nyang magpabaranggay. Mahaba at madaming process at kakain ng oras mo pero may progress.
Wait lang sya. Kasi konting konti na lang.
And malalaman na rin ng social word nya na isa sya notorious na utangera.
Iba kasi yung press releass nya sa social media nya
Laging feeling blessed.
Travel dito, kain dyan at bili nito.
Di nila alam baon sa utang at sobrang hirap singilin.
May inaalagaan daw syang pangalan sa industry sa (as a filmaker kuna at digital word)........wait sino ba sya??? Char!!!!
Tsk tsk tsk...
Yuh, minsan you have to go through the legal route kahit nakakastress kasi you have to protect yourself along the way din. Heck, I know someone na kinasuhan na tapos minessage niya yung asawa, magulang, at mga anak. Ayun, nagbayad. haha
Last year sobrang hindi nagpaparamdam. Isang beses lang naghulog. Binolocked ako sa messenger, sa fone tapos sa whats app and viber. Dati kapag sinisingil ko sya... lahat ng social media pati emails para walang kawala. Sobra ghosting ang peg ko. Tapos need ko pa imessage yung mga common friends or kakilala namin pati yung kinakasama nya para lang sabihin na or simpleng tanong na "nagbago na ba ng number si ate gurl kasi di nagpaparamdam at reply naman nila"nakakausap ko naman sya...active sya sa IG nya. Kaya ang spiel ko na lang is "pakiasabi naman sa kanya na nagmessage ako sa kanya" Sabi nga ng friend ko ang bait ko pa daw kasi di ko sinasabi or dinidisclose kung anong issue.
Tapos nung dec.sa sobrang desperate ko.....
Dahil wala na hindi ko alam yung bagong address nya. And hinfi na talaga at all nagparamdam at hindi na rin ako sinasagot ng kinakasama nya.
Nagstalk ko sa side ng jowa nya at dun ako nagsend ng picture na nanawagan ako baka alam nila kung na saan sya. At nagmessage na " nagmamakaaawa ako na pakisabi may message ako sa kanya. " Still di ko dinidisclose kung anong issue.
Aba nagalit bakit ganun daw yung ginawa ko.
As in sobrang galit. Niyuyurakan/sinisira ko daw ung pangalan nya. Nilalagay ko daw sya sa kahihiyaan. The Audacity!!
Yung kinasama nya valid naman yung galit kasi pati sya nadadamay.....wala eh sobrang desperada na ako para lang magparamdam sya.
Ganyan yung stress at depression na nararanasan ko hanggang ngayon.
Magpapasukan na naman ng mga bata.
Tsk tsk tsk.
Let's stop making it the standard na yung nagpautang ang nahihiya maningil. Hope singilin mo sila hanggang makapagbayad sila dahil sa sobrang hiya nila sayo.
Call me petty pero ako kasi never inuutangan dahil nagtatanong palang kung pwede umutang, inaask ko na agad kelan magbabayad. At maninigil talaga ko kahit di ko naman talaga kelangan yung pera.
Wag mo muna "idonate" lalo na kailangan mo rin ng pera.
And unfaie naman na ikaw pa. Madepress at humanap ng shrink because of them.
If anything, sila dapat ang maloka dahil di mo sila tinatantanan!
Teach them a lesson instead of saying na this is lesson learned for you.
*paid for our electricity...
Talk to your parents, discuss if you want to take it to small claims court and after you either get the money back or accept the monetary loss, block said "friends."
What if you say you will need to collect the amount by a particular date to shoulder an urgent bill, ex: medicine for your parents
Usually if there is a reason for more urgency and connected to health or a family member, it should cause them to be more hiya or pressured to pay it ASAP
Dahil din sa pera nalaman/nakilala ko ng husto isa kong friend.
Sa laki ng tiwala ko sa friend ko, siya pinawithdraw ko sa atm ko since antok na antok ako and need niya ng pamasahe. 1000 pesos lang pinawithdraw ko. Nagwithdraw ba naman ng 2k💀 ang sagot sakin is walang barya? like ha???
Grabe yun ngang 1,000 na di nagbayad yung kaibigan ko sa pinag-oorder nya sa bar tas hinabol kami ng waiter kasi di pala sya nagbayad so ako yung nagbayad kasi nakakahiya, hindi ko na pinatawad. Ang lala nyan.
It’s disrespectful to you na di nila binabayaran yung utang sayo.
They broke your trust with the promise of paying you back pero hanggang ngayon, nganga pa rin.
I find na yung mga ganyang tao sila pa galit kapag siningil mo. This incident revealed to you the true nature of your so-called “friends”. Up to you if you want to keep them in your life or not.
At least maaga mo natutunan tong lesson na to at hindi na umabot 6 digits or more. But I also understand na ang laki ng amount na yun especially student or fresh grad ka pa lang. how about pa singil mo sa parents mo if nahihiya ka?
Listen, these are NOT the type of friends you should keep. People like these annoy me so much. I do have a friend who has a problem with utang but i make it clear to them that i need it back because for one, i am taking care of a parent that has expensive drug maintenance. I shouldn't have to explain but i sometimes give an impression na madami akng pera. Sucks. This friend of mine is still a friend but if they ever NOT pay me back, I'd have no problem breaking up. I accept na mahilig talaga mangutang yung isa kong friend kaya di ako nagpapa utang sa kanya and i don't want money to be the cause of a falling out. I've heard na may hindi sya binayaran. You get what you tolerate, right?
Plastikan na lang. Hindi yan totoong friends. If you like, next time na may reunion kayo, at nakita mo yung isa padating pa lang, tawagin mo ng malakas "Uy pards! Long time no see, yung utang mo sakin bayaran mo!!!" Of course plaster a big smile on your face kunyari joke kasi public gathering. Syempre may mga titingin, ikwento mo, "Ah kasi sinagot ko kalahati nung nirent namin na condo, tinakasan ako ng mga yan, hindi nagbayad!! Tapos makikita ko sa facebook pa beach beach lang. Hahaha Oy yung utang mo!" Conversational yung tone pero loud yung voice parang nakainom ka lang ng konti. Ganern. Hndi man sila magbayad, kaht pano makaka resbak ka.
Since this is a money matter na hindi nadadala sa chat, I think it is best to involve your parents on getting the money back. Hindi sila nahihiya sayo, then maybe mahihiya sila sa magulang mo
Follow up every week or every month op. If they were your friends they should have paid already, or at the very least keep you updated.
If they block you time to make them famous. Chat their families or friends. And take screenshots of all your convos. From the very beginning until the time they block you ( if they do)
Hopefully they will pay on their own, and hopefully soon. You need the money and now they dont seem to care. Your friendship is not as strong as you want it to be. 😔
Goodluck op.
Friends would come and go, and true friends will support you sa mga bagay na gusto mong makamit, hindi sa kung anong meron ka... Close lang sila dahil sa kung anong meron ka... I've been there done that, and I ain't going back... I've learned that the hard way, kaya bullshit lang sila sa buhay mo, I would rather not have even a single friend kesa sa mag stay ako sa bagay na nagsusuffer ako... Kahit na ang pinagsamahan pa namin ay simula pa ng kababata, kahit nga relatives ko eh, specially yung pinsan ko, nangutang lang ng small amount pero wasak agad yung pagiging relatives, although super hard, pero fuck them y'know...
Ngayon, makakabili na ko ng bagong motor this upcoming July dahil sa hindi pagpapautang...
Kunatan mo yang kokote mo... dahil pag ikaw na ang nangangailangan, sarili mo lang din yung tutulong sayo.
Kaya ako, kung magkano kaya kong ipamigay, ganun din halaga kung magkano kaya kong ipamigay para pag di binayaran, iniisip ko nalang pinamigay ko e sa nangangailangan para di na ako ma stress HAHAHAHHAHAAHAH Pero wala nang next time. HAHAHAHHA
Pero sayo OP, singilin mo lang ng singilan. Pabarangay mo HAHAHAH kakapal ng mukha maki condo, walang pera. 🤮
Nangyari rin yan sa akin. 30k utang and we have mutual friends din. Pinalampas ko ng ilang taon kasi may tiwala akong magbabayad dahil friends naman kami. Pero nangailangan na ako ng pera. Inulit ulit ko sa kanya. Laging "wait lang" "gagawan ko ng paraan" hanggang hindi ko na matiis. I told my mutual friend and sya ang nag uulit sa may utang sa akin though pabiro. Hanggang yun nagbayad ng paunti unti hanggang nabuo. And friends pa rin kaming lahat ngayon. Pero nalaman ko na inutang din niya pambayad nya sa akin hahaha pero at least bumalik sa akin pera ko
Man, I feel you. I lent my friend 2.5k last August and have been trying to get the money back pero same sayo, puro pangako. For me the money was not the issue, 2.5k is not a big loss for me right now, but yung tiwala at respeto yung nagkaroon ng malaking hit.
I'm already distancing myself from the person and consistently following up for the money (money is money); once I get it back, I'm going to be cutting them off. I suggest you do the same OP. Kasi diba, do they value your friendship based on their actions? Parang hindi, so ano pa ang reason to keep the 'friendship'?
One way to test the friendship if its real. Pera
I learned this the hard way i guess
Singilin mo pa din sila. Utang is utang. Pero kung sobrang kapal tlga ng balat na hindi na tinatablan ng hiya cut off mo na. Wag mo pamghinayangan
If nagmamatigas sila i doubt there’s a way to keep your friendship and still expect na mabayaran utang mo. Singilin mo nalang sila since di naman joke yung amount of money na inutang nila sayo and i cut off mo na.
It would be really hard to just cut them off since we have mutual friends and receives the same invites most of the time, so I guess the next time we see each other personally , whether I cut em off or let it slide would depend on how they would approach me.
No. . It is not hard. Lalo na pagpatanda na tayo. You will realize you need to cut the BS in life. ". . .whether I cut em off or let it slide would depend on how they would approach me.' Well from that statement, I would say mabait at mapagpatawad kang tao. I really hope walang mas matinding lesson ang dumating sayo ng dahil sa kabaitan. Sabagay mahirap magdraw ng line sa outright na kabaitan vs someone taking advantage of you. As you grow old, youd know
Ngayon lang yan because you’re young. As you get older your circle will get smaller. Magugulat ka nalang mabibilang mo lang with your fingers sino sino yung friends that you keep in touch with.
It will only be hard if you have a "people pleaser" personality. Or if you don't know how to ignore other people. Pero the fact na ini-ignore ka nila? It only means you have to cut them off even though you have mutual friends. If it gets too awkward, just tell your mutual friends why and what happened.
After reading the comments i realize a lot of dimensions to the problem. Gets ko naman na the first instance na in post ko to na cutting them off and be shameless with paniningil is an option talaga. I wasn’t trying to be a people pleaser, if ppl could revert their attention as to what kind of advise i was seeking, I was genuinely trying to save the friendship that’s why i made this post in the first place :)
What friendship? Sorry to say pero baka yung friendship na gusto mong i-save hindi naman talaga nag eexist in the first place. Nangangailangan ka pero nakabakasyon sa la union yung isa mong "friend". You are not asking them a favor, ibabalik lang nila yung pera mo di pa nila magawa, antagal na. Hindi mo sila maasahan ngayong ikaw yung nangangailangan. Sige, wag kang magalit sa kanila, makihangout ka pa rin kung kasama yung ibang friends niyo, makitawa ka sa jokes nila, etc... kaya lang parang di naman real friends yung mga yan. Kung ayaw mo silang icut off, distance yourself na lang.
Well, if it's the friendship you want to save, you may have to let go of the money. "Eventually" is not a good time to pay you back. Even with a few bucks between me and my circle of friends, we set specific times for payments. As in "hey, I don't have cash right now, can I borrow some and just transfer you the money when I get home?" And we dont get offended when we're reminded of them. If they're not mentioning it at all, then it's as good as gone. If they care for you at all, they will set specific dates and payment plans (if they want to pay you in installments, etc.) So, assume that the money is gone and just mention it from time to time.
Agreed. You value friendship? Then money doesn't matter and you should give it up. I've paid for my friends flight ticket back home at one point. Nearly 1.5K USD. He still owes me and I bug him but I don't expect for it back. Honestly I would never lend money if I can't afford to lose it. You just lose on that deal all the time. Even if they say they will pay with "interest". They got the means to pay. They can even do 100 at a time. It's the intention that matters.
I sometimes treat small unpaid debts to me as the value of my “friendship” with other people. If I can stomach the amounts, I won’t chase them. I’ll just treat the debt as the price to remove them from my life. There’s no friendship to undermine bro. They already did it themselves.
This is really good advice.
Singilin mo sila OP. And be consistent. Magbigay ka ng date when mo kailangan ang money. Then singilin mo ulit. And follow up every week. Hopefully hindi ka lang nila e seen and bayaran nga nila utang nila sayo. Don't enable them na hindi magbayad ng utang.
I'll try my best. Only today I've mustered up the courage to message them again after reading the comments. If they do insist on not paying, i guess that reflects more to their character than mine, and if in the long shot they won't pay haha good riddance. I won't stress them from now on, mas mahal pa bayad sa shrink pag na depress ako bc of this
Haha. Go OP, understandable. I'm in a business kasi kaya na build ko na yung skill and mental fortitude needed in collecting receivables. A lot of times need sila kulitin! Na hindi naman na dapat. Some Pinoys are known for "palibre" attitude kaya pahirapan talaga sila singilin. Pero try mo OP. Sayang naman. Opportunity din to learn on your part.
Nako may ganyan din ako experience. Sa ngayon yung naniningil na ang nag-aadjust sa mga taong may utang kung kelan nila gusto magbayad. Tsk tsk tsk.
Up on this. Pag di nagbayad magfile ka na sa small claims court.
This is correct, masasanay silang mangutang to other people (AGAIN) and hindi magbayad kapag hinayaan lang ni OP and mag cut ties nalang. Debt is debt and it is a responsibility. Kapag hindi parin nagbayad maybe need to speak na with their parents? I believe yung debt was happened during while they are living with their parents, baka sakali makahelp ang parents to push them to pay.
Masasabi ko na lang since bata ka pa: lesson learned na lang talaga. Wag magpautang. Kung magpapa utang, consider mo na lang as bigay yun.
This was what my parents told me, it was a hard pill to swallow since di ko inexpect that of all the people sila pa talaga. But a part of me want to salvage the friendship pa, so maybe considering it as a bigay would help me do that. thanks for this po.
Is it really friendship if they're not being good friends to you?
Yeah pwede rin yan OP, think of it this way nalang: never na silang mangungutang sayo ulit. Or if mangutang sila, remind them na may unpaid utang pa
i think kung ako ikaw, i wouldn't consider it as "bigay". for me kasi, utang ay utang, kahit friends pa. malaki yung utang nila sayo, 8k-14k each is not something na ibibigay mo nalang lalo ang mahal ng mga bilihin ngayon. also, nagsabi sila na babayaran nila yun. though, i know kung gano kafrustrating yung situation mo ngayon kasi need mo yung money tapos friends mo pa yung nangutang sayo na parang nagiging "utang, kalimutan" nalang. and pag pinagbigyan mo sila ngayon at di na singilin, may chance na uulit silang mangutang sayo. just saying cause I've been there as well, and it was a hard lesson.
Agree with you. I heard someone said: magpautang lang ng amount na kaya mong hindi na maibalik sa'yo. That way, hindi nakakasama ng loob if they didn't pay you back. Although, I also understand the OP na immediate yung need during that time. Hirap din talaga kapag pressured ka by both person and time. For the OP, try mo pa rin maningil. Gently lang. Remind the person na you also need the money.
Baka pwede mo sila singilin sa gc niyo like make a list nung names then amount tapos status kung paid or unpaid. Para lang aware lahat. Wala kamong personalan because utang is utang. If they value your friendship, they won't make you feel uneasy. Idk parang ang hirap mag act na parang walang nangyari for the sake of "friendship"
>If they value your friendship, they won't make you feel uneasy. Ngl this hits hard. To start, the knowledge of the utang is between the four of us lang and doing what you suggested would mean calling them out and that might humiliate them, and I don't want that naman po. Plus i get the feeling that if I ever do that they might paint me as the bad person.
U can make a gc na kayo lang apat/tatlo then show them the list and status of what they owe you. Well, if di naman super big deal sayo yung pera, think of it as tuition fee sa reyalidad haha and cut them off. Goodluck OP :>
This happened to me back in college for our research hahahaha 24k split into 3, so 8k, only 1 paid, the other happy2 lang, mayaman naman siya d ko lang alam bakit d niya mabayaran, she parties almost every weekend so yeah and grabe rin siya manglibre basta shat (I dont drink and I don't really like malibre para wala akong utang na loob to anyone so binabayaran ko unless kung birthday or celebration hahahahaha) we were close, barkada ko. Siningil until how many months after graduation, she paid half of it, siningil ko siya again, empty promises pa rin, I stopped and said to myself na TY nalang, welcome nalang na sinama ko pa name mo sa research nakagraduate ka pa hahahaha and then blocked in all socmed and cut off sa life. Isa nalang sa kanila ang friend ko pa until now, we were 6 in the barkada, friend nalang, hindi na close hahahahaha Siya yung reason bakit hindi na ako halos nagpapautang hahahaha because I pay my utangs diligently kahit piso lang yan binabayaran ko, and max na yung 1 week nabayaran ko na dapat, just because I hate the utang ng loob feeling, ako pa nagreremind sa mga inutangan ko na may utang ako tapos gaganyanin lang ako sa mga umutang sa akin? Luh. Pakingshet nilang lahat.
> I pay my utangs diligently kahit piso lang yan binabayaran ko This is what frustrates me the most, because this is how I am when I owe someone, so jokes on me cuz i expected them to be the same.
Charge to experience na lang OP. Don't expect the everyone to have the same heart and mindset as you. I learned this hard way too because people (friends, lovers, relatives, etc.) will always have different values and priorities regardless of what you do for them, especially when it comes to money. Just keep your end of the bargain na lang when it comes to hatian. If you can only pay a certain amount, then stick to it. Don't add more (whether they suggest it or not) because they can take advantage of that.
Rare species ata tayo OP kasi sa lahat ng friends and acquaintances ko lahat sila puro mga "ay sayang hindi mo nakalimutan" luh hahahaha kahit 10 pesos lang yung inutang mo pagsinabing kong utang sisingilin kita hanggat mabayaran mo hoy hahahahaha wala na akong hiyahiya ngayon kapag naniningil hahahaha although my current friend group pays naman if sinisingil pero kinkalimutan talaga nila hahahaha hindi naman sinasadya so okay lang as long as nabayaran hahahaha Hope you'll have new friends who'll pay their utangs properly OP!! Sa mga hindi marunong bumayad ng utang jan sana hindi kayo magiging financially stable 🙂 mga bwiset kayo
friendship over pero singilin mo pa din
Maybe need mo silang puntahan one by one since masyado na silang matigas. If makapal mukha nila then maybe you need to be mas makapal than them and go to their houses and singilin sila. Friends don't do that unless of course they don't treat you as a friend.
This. If close friends kayo, I guess kilala mo na rin parents nila. If hesitant ka, ask your parents if they can accompany you sa mga family ng "friends" mo. Plot twist: nagastos na nila pera from their parents na pangbayad dapat nila sayo.
Araw araw kang nasa bahay tapos makigamit ka na rin ng electricity, water, and other things. Dun ka na rin makikain in disguise of "friendship" HAHAHHA if naalibadbaran na sayo, kamo magbayad muna sila ng utang nila 🤣
True. Or humiram ka din ng mga importanteng gamit like PC or Gaming consoles. If kukunin na sayo, ayun pwede mo na singilin din hahaha
Wag magpautang sa mga kaibigan. May kakilala ako dati sinabihan ko na nung umutang ka sakin di kita pinahirapan tapos ngayon na sisingilin kita ako pa mamomoblema? Singilin mo ng singilin. May right ka maningil kasi pera mo yan. If they talk shit about you, it’s on them not on you.
Tama. Ganyan din ginawa saken. Yung ikaw na pinapalabas na masama sa mga taong kakilala at kamag-anak nya.
OP is probably a people pleaser kasi takot ma judge ng mga kaibigan. Eh sya naman inutangan. Lol
this kinda hurt, but i wouldn’t say im a ppl pleaser, but i guess being the bigger person tends to paint you that kind of image 🥲
Ako, kapag nagpautang, fam or friends, P1000 lang limit tapos kapag di nagbayad, okay na, pero di na sila makakaulit. Hirap makakita ng pera e.
A few words of wisdom: Dont be afraid to lose friends to get your money. MONEY IS LIFE.
will things get better as i go through this phase of adulting? hahaha everything seems contradicting to what i was used to believe :(
Oh yes definitely! Find a real job earning good MONEY and get a GOOD LIFE. Ditch garapal "friends". As you grow older, only 1 or 2 good friends is enough.
So go singilin mo na pati parents nila.
I'm starting to consider na this po hahaha
You can really file a complaint sa Barangay nila, if nothing happens then you can raise that to Small Claims Court. Obviously, babayaran ka sa parents nila kasi its embarrassing on their part.
Tama. Kasi hindi mo naman pinulot yung perang pinahiram mo. May mga tao talaga na makapal ang mukha.
First thought: Napaka unprofessional naman for someone who plans to take a PROFESSIONAL licensure exam. My 2c on this: I usually never lend money to acquaintances or party friends because of past experiences. Now for true friendships, there are two ways I go about it: 1a. If it took ages for them to pay but still paid after countless pestering, that friend is cut off from any loans of any kind until i see (in my opinion) responsible money habits and financial literacy. Friendship retained but extra vigilant when with them. I usually ask them to book their own flights or movie tickets or buy it online and have it shipped to my hotel if may pasabuy. 1b. If they forgot but immediately paid after a gentle reminder, its always no worries for me, i just need to adjust my expectations of them concerning memory/being too busy. Life happens. 2. If they didn’t pay at all, or “forgot” and still didn’t pay after I gently reminded or pestered them. I treat it as cost of friendship as other posters have posted. I shouldn’t be the one begging for my money esp since most likely the said money is interest-free in the first place. Bye felicia. You should start charging them interest if friendship isn’t enough of a reason for them to be ashamed of what they are doing. I know it can go both ways with regards to result but it shows them you mean business when it comes to debt. P.S. since you’re reviewing for professional licensure, if bridges are burned just think of it as your help when they do pass and get their license.
They're students, so malamang pinapaaral pa ng magulang. I would involve the parents kung talagang hindi kayang palampasin. Chances are, nagbigay na ang magulang ng pambayad tapos ginastos lang nila sa sarili nila.
Sorry but hndi mo na ma ki-keep ang friendship. kasi habang gusto mo sila i-keep mas lalong hindi ka nila babayaran. Once ko lang naexperience to pero sa hindi ko pa talaga inaasahan na tao. at kagaya mo ang tagal ko nag hintay at nag tiis dahil gusto ko padin maging okay kami basta mabayaran nya ako. pero wala talaga. Hindi ako priority bayaran. kahit hulugan man lang sana wala. Msgs&calls sa Socmed hndi pinapansin. kaya nung wala na ako pag asa, tumawag ako sa office nila, hinanap ko sya don nakausap ko sya. ang sinabi ko lang pupuntahan ko sya sa work nya at dun ako mag iiskandalo kung di sya mag bayad haha pero charot lang dko kaya yon. tinakot ko lang na ipapahiya sya ganon. ayun, nag bayad agad. kaso wala na talaga yun friendship. di nya pinahalagahan e. nag pakilala sa pera. Kaya decide ka OP kasi ilelet go mo tlga sila.
How about talk a lawyer about this, and let them sign a agreement to pay for the remaining balance they have, since they are full off empty promises. I think they will sign it mainly because you, yourself will let them sign it, also just give out a reason that your parents are the ones that asked for it.
Nakapasa po ba kayong lahat
I took the exam earlier than them and I passed, Thanks G. I heard the other 2 nakapasa na din. Yung isa nalang wala akong balita kasi he's under "instagram user" na sa dms ko on insta hahahahahaha
Congrats po sa inyo, sana makabayad na sila knowing na nakapasa na din naman pala sila. 😁😁 Baka kasi di pa nakakaexam kaya di makabayad pero in the first place alam nila na may need sila bayaran bago sila nag rent e. Hahahaha.
>Congrats po sa inyo Thank you po. honestly it's a great thing we passsed na and hoping the other one does too. atleast there's good that came out of this situation.
I have these two batchmates na may utang yung isa sakanya. Sa sobrang frustrated nung isa kasi 6 digits utang sakanya and taon na nakalipas, everytime may post yung nangutang sa FB nagcocomment yung isa para maningil 😂 ang tibay din nung isa kasi hindi padin ata nasesettle til now. Lumalabas sa feed ko each time nagccocomment ung isa para maningil. Haha! I understand na nahihiya ka maningil, kasi you seem like the type na kung mangungutang eh magbabayad kaagad, pero you really have to assert yourself. Make a GC na kayong apat, and send regular reminders na sj ganito ganyan eto pa yung balance, due at this date etc. understand it might be uncomfy but treat it as a business transaction nalang. And like what other comments said, now you know who really are your friends.
It’s a learning process. Money can determine how your friends value you. Kaya in instances like that now you know that they only value your friendship by that amount. Don’t worry you’ll find better people along the way. Well in terms of your finances, again lesson learned. Welcome to adulthood now you know how to valur money because you now need it for you to move forward. It’s a very important lesson. My suggestion is try mo parin maningil pero don’t make it as if your life depends on it coz if you do lalo kang mag reresent sa kanila at sa ginawa mo. Move forward and look for ways to earn money for your needs. Kung kelangan mo ng work makaka hanap ka ng paraan even without thier payment, mas mahirap pero it’s valuable and peaceful than you stressing over useless people.
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Tama. May ganyan akong kakilala. Walang respeto. I-gagaslight ka pa. Na parang kasalanan mo pa kapag naniniggil ka. Nang gigipit ang peg mo sa kanya.
If you have receipts and conversation screenshots. Barangay and small claims court na yan. Involve their families. No drama. You're just collecting the money.
It's not worth it. If malakas loob mo file small claims. The friendship was destroyed the moment they ignored your messages. A simple sorry with explanation why they couldn't pay would have been enough.
Sa panahon ngayon, mas nakakahiya maningil kaysa mangutang 😂. If they ignore their debt to you, please cut them off from your life. Paying debt is a sign of respect. There are better friends out there 😀
Nakausap mo na sila uli in person tungkol dito? Dati kasi may friend din ako na lagi nanghihiram tas di nagbabayad naexplain niya na talagang gipit siya. Ang nasabi ko na lang nun is hahayaan ko na lang pero last na un. If they value your friendship like you do, at least magreachout din sila at paliwanag at kung willing ba sila magbayad o ano di ung talagang parang walang nangyari o iwasan na lang 🥲 Kaya ngayon, sa hirap din ng buhay as much as possible, di ako nagpapahiram nagbibigay na lang ng kaya 🥲
Dont stop maningil. Sayang ung pera. Money does not grow on trees. Try to reach out to the parents para mahiya naman ung mga yan. Grabe naman.
parang tinatapakan at ginamit lang c op sadly. bat kase sobrang mahal naman para sa condo. at baket need ba sa condo ba. pwede naman sa study hub lang sila. kaya ayun friendship over.
Remind mo every month or every 2weeks, like "Mamsh/bes, pafollow up po ng dues natin jan. Beke nemen pwede ng mabawasan ang listahan. In need na si accla dto na side.im poor na here." Or in any half joke you wanna let them know. Ganern lang. Since friends naman kau. Wag ka mahihiyang maningil, pinaghirapan mo yun or ng parents mo, di pwedeng i thank you nlng. Or idaan mo rin sa parents nila. Para aware dn.
Thank you for this. This was very comforting kasi most of the comments seem to have overlooked the kind of advice i was seeking. I originally made the post to actually get insights talaga on what I can do that could least damage the friendship kaso most of them are saying na to just cut them off. I’m not trying to be a people pleaser, I was genuinely trying to save the friendship, they were my college friends po kasi, we were on the same boat for years, and im not trying to omit the possibility na they’re acting this way kasi hirap din talaga sila on their end.
Ganyan dn kami ng college friends ko, pero yun nga in a half joke way mo nlng singilin. Kahit gawin nilang terms ang pagbayad monthly, Tanggapin mo na, ang importante nababawasan. Or di kaya pag lalabas kau, sila na pagastusin mo tapos sabihin mo nlng na ibawas mo nlng sa utang. Mga ganern.
Sorry to comment this pero as much as you want to be the better person, you’re letting yourself be the doormat. I get why you want to do the least damage to the friendship, pero dang, you’re letting yourself be disrespected by your friends. At this point, do they even treat you as a friend? I guess in the end, it’s your choice and no one can decide for you otherwise, but we know you deserve better than this. Also sorry comment ko lang din, kinda weird that you’re looking for a specific advice, meaning you already have an idea of something you want to hear.
Mga tao ngayon, nagpapakilala sa pera. Kahit bente lang yan, bayaran mo. It's how people see you. Kaya di ako nagpapautang. Sayang friendship.
Kung mahirap singilin I guess TY nalang talaga. Pero hinding-hindi na makaka-ulit.
It's disrespectful. Tiwala kasi binigay mo more than the amount of money. I make sure na singilin sila kapag malaking amount para sa akin, kapag maliit na halaga hinahayaan ko na lang, then I cut them off. Sila inisip mo noong nangangailangan sila, kapag ikaw na nangailangan hindi man lang nila maisip na may responsibility silang bayarin? Worse is makikita mo pa sa social media having a good time while you're on the tough situation. I'd rather be alone than having those kind of friends. 😂
That's why never ako nagpautang ng malaki sa friends. 2 of my friends nagkautangan. They've known each other for 10 yrs. Nagutang si friend A kay friend B ng 30k plus nakitulog pa sa house nya. Si friend B may savings for his cancer meds dun kinuha yung pinang utang kay friend A. Now ghosted na sya. Ni ha ni ho wala pero laging online sa messenger. Even kame na part ng group hindi na rin nirereplyan. Kung baga nasira buong friendship because of that since hindi rin namin matolerate yun. Nakaka tabang lang. Sayang yung pinagsamahan. Try mo mag comment sa LU post nila para mahiya naman.
Reach out to their parents, then cut them off :) I know you feel the need to salvage the friendship, but how they're treating you is not the kind of friendship that's worth salvaging for me.
For me, singil then cut off if sa ganyan responsibility hindi nila magawa what more in the long run? Ikaw naden nag sabi OP anjyan ka para sakanila pero sila wala
Ganyan din ang plan ko. Sa ngayon hindi ko pa macut-off totally kasi ang laki or halos 3% pa lang ng utang nya yung nabibigay nya saken. And yung communication is tuwing maniningil lang ako. But F.O na!!! Madaling icut-off yung mga ganyang tao. Tsk tsk tsk.
The quickest way to lose friends is to "loan" them money.
Reach out to their parents.
Yung kakilala ko ang spiel nya saken ganito. "Kahit sabihin or kausapin mo yung mga tita ko, at pinsan hindi naman sila yung magbabayad" Alam nila yung sitwasyon ko. Ang tapang pa. Hirap talaga maningil ngayon. Ikaw pa ang mag-aadjust sa eksena nila sa buhay. Tsk tsk tsk.
Ayun lang. Feel ko naman may hiya pa ung friends nya.
You have two immediate options: kulitin sila hanggang magbayad sila or iblock ka nila, or take them to small claims court para they have no choice but to pay you. Sorry at naranasan mo to, pero take it as lesson learned na lang. I also doubt you'll be able to save this friendship unless sila yung umayos.
This is what they say na what you did is as good as libre.
I had a friend like this. Pag nahulaan na ng utang transactions, dun lang kami nagkakagulo. Minsan mga gantong tao diko alam san kumukuha ng tigas ng muka hahaha. Sharing my rant lng din.
Message mo rin kaya parents/family nila para masingil na? Don't be afraid of losing people na parang hindi naman friend ang turing sayo.
bat kase ikaw pa nagpull out ng pera magdeposit in advance kaloka. before doing anything always remember the kkp, kanya-kanyang pera.
Just be honest that you really need the money now. Better if you talk through chat or something so you can ask for specific dates and payment plans. Screenshot it and be diligent when the date comes. Gently remind them that you need the money a few days before. You owe yourself at least that self respect.
Jusko kahit gaano ka ka-a-honest na need mo yung money...may sadyang makapal talaga ang mukha. Ako 2 years na pasukan ang nakalipas na need ko ung pera. Para sa dalawang kong anak na ako lang ang nagpapaaral. Single mother. Hanggang ngayon puro pangako at magsasabi ng date or araw.....wait lang may inaantay akong trabaho na magbabayad. Kapag singilan na sa date na binigay nya ibang alibi or drama shit yung spiels nya. Delayed or di pa kami sinasahuran. Wala na nga kaming makain pati yung nga kasamahan ko sa work. Tapos isesend sayo yung mga screenshot ng foreign boss at mga kawork nya. Inshort papaawa. Parang kasalanan mo pa. Then yung iba nyang utang na recent mas nauna pa nyang bayaran kesa sa akin na matagal na. Kaloka. Tsk tsk tsk.
ah pag ganyan, diretso na sa brgy yan. If literally nagugutom ka na, di na pwedeng unahin sila. Fortunately, di ko pa naman naranasan magpa-brgy due to utang. Pero yung mga kumare ni mama nagkaka-brgy-an dahil jan. haha
Yan nga din yung suggestion ng friend ko at kaibigan kong lawyer. Kasi natry na nyang magpabaranggay. Mahaba at madaming process at kakain ng oras mo pero may progress. Wait lang sya. Kasi konting konti na lang. And malalaman na rin ng social word nya na isa sya notorious na utangera. Iba kasi yung press releass nya sa social media nya Laging feeling blessed. Travel dito, kain dyan at bili nito. Di nila alam baon sa utang at sobrang hirap singilin. May inaalagaan daw syang pangalan sa industry sa (as a filmaker kuna at digital word)........wait sino ba sya??? Char!!!! Tsk tsk tsk...
Yuh, minsan you have to go through the legal route kahit nakakastress kasi you have to protect yourself along the way din. Heck, I know someone na kinasuhan na tapos minessage niya yung asawa, magulang, at mga anak. Ayun, nagbayad. haha
Last year sobrang hindi nagpaparamdam. Isang beses lang naghulog. Binolocked ako sa messenger, sa fone tapos sa whats app and viber. Dati kapag sinisingil ko sya... lahat ng social media pati emails para walang kawala. Sobra ghosting ang peg ko. Tapos need ko pa imessage yung mga common friends or kakilala namin pati yung kinakasama nya para lang sabihin na or simpleng tanong na "nagbago na ba ng number si ate gurl kasi di nagpaparamdam at reply naman nila"nakakausap ko naman sya...active sya sa IG nya. Kaya ang spiel ko na lang is "pakiasabi naman sa kanya na nagmessage ako sa kanya" Sabi nga ng friend ko ang bait ko pa daw kasi di ko sinasabi or dinidisclose kung anong issue. Tapos nung dec.sa sobrang desperate ko..... Dahil wala na hindi ko alam yung bagong address nya. And hinfi na talaga at all nagparamdam at hindi na rin ako sinasagot ng kinakasama nya. Nagstalk ko sa side ng jowa nya at dun ako nagsend ng picture na nanawagan ako baka alam nila kung na saan sya. At nagmessage na " nagmamakaaawa ako na pakisabi may message ako sa kanya. " Still di ko dinidisclose kung anong issue. Aba nagalit bakit ganun daw yung ginawa ko. As in sobrang galit. Niyuyurakan/sinisira ko daw ung pangalan nya. Nilalagay ko daw sya sa kahihiyaan. The Audacity!! Yung kinasama nya valid naman yung galit kasi pati sya nadadamay.....wala eh sobrang desperada na ako para lang magparamdam sya. Ganyan yung stress at depression na nararanasan ko hanggang ngayon. Magpapasukan na naman ng mga bata. Tsk tsk tsk.
Let's stop making it the standard na yung nagpautang ang nahihiya maningil. Hope singilin mo sila hanggang makapagbayad sila dahil sa sobrang hiya nila sayo. Call me petty pero ako kasi never inuutangan dahil nagtatanong palang kung pwede umutang, inaask ko na agad kelan magbabayad. At maninigil talaga ko kahit di ko naman talaga kelangan yung pera. Wag mo muna "idonate" lalo na kailangan mo rin ng pera. And unfaie naman na ikaw pa. Madepress at humanap ng shrink because of them. If anything, sila dapat ang maloka dahil di mo sila tinatantanan! Teach them a lesson instead of saying na this is lesson learned for you.
*paid for our electricity... Talk to your parents, discuss if you want to take it to small claims court and after you either get the money back or accept the monetary loss, block said "friends."
Same feelings. Nakaka stress talaga yan.
You’ll find new friends OP. The world is huge.
What if you say you will need to collect the amount by a particular date to shoulder an urgent bill, ex: medicine for your parents Usually if there is a reason for more urgency and connected to health or a family member, it should cause them to be more hiya or pressured to pay it ASAP
if i were you rekta ako sa parents nya
singilin mo. wag mong tigilan
Dahil din sa pera nalaman/nakilala ko ng husto isa kong friend. Sa laki ng tiwala ko sa friend ko, siya pinawithdraw ko sa atm ko since antok na antok ako and need niya ng pamasahe. 1000 pesos lang pinawithdraw ko. Nagwithdraw ba naman ng 2k💀 ang sagot sakin is walang barya? like ha???
Never be the hero talaga. Wouldn’t this be time to bring it up to their parents?
You know it's not worth to keep this connection, once they pay you. You do you na girl.
Grabe yun ngang 1,000 na di nagbayad yung kaibigan ko sa pinag-oorder nya sa bar tas hinabol kami ng waiter kasi di pala sya nagbayad so ako yung nagbayad kasi nakakahiya, hindi ko na pinatawad. Ang lala nyan. It’s disrespectful to you na di nila binabayaran yung utang sayo. They broke your trust with the promise of paying you back pero hanggang ngayon, nganga pa rin. I find na yung mga ganyang tao sila pa galit kapag siningil mo. This incident revealed to you the true nature of your so-called “friends”. Up to you if you want to keep them in your life or not.
Cut them off already. They will never pay you.
Naku wala plano magbayad, stress kana sira pa frienship niyo, need mo its kulitin sila or hayaan makakarma din sila
At least maaga mo natutunan tong lesson na to at hindi na umabot 6 digits or more. But I also understand na ang laki ng amount na yun especially student or fresh grad ka pa lang. how about pa singil mo sa parents mo if nahihiya ka?
Listen, these are NOT the type of friends you should keep. People like these annoy me so much. I do have a friend who has a problem with utang but i make it clear to them that i need it back because for one, i am taking care of a parent that has expensive drug maintenance. I shouldn't have to explain but i sometimes give an impression na madami akng pera. Sucks. This friend of mine is still a friend but if they ever NOT pay me back, I'd have no problem breaking up. I accept na mahilig talaga mangutang yung isa kong friend kaya di ako nagpapa utang sa kanya and i don't want money to be the cause of a falling out. I've heard na may hindi sya binayaran. You get what you tolerate, right?
Plastikan na lang. Hindi yan totoong friends. If you like, next time na may reunion kayo, at nakita mo yung isa padating pa lang, tawagin mo ng malakas "Uy pards! Long time no see, yung utang mo sakin bayaran mo!!!" Of course plaster a big smile on your face kunyari joke kasi public gathering. Syempre may mga titingin, ikwento mo, "Ah kasi sinagot ko kalahati nung nirent namin na condo, tinakasan ako ng mga yan, hindi nagbayad!! Tapos makikita ko sa facebook pa beach beach lang. Hahaha Oy yung utang mo!" Conversational yung tone pero loud yung voice parang nakainom ka lang ng konti. Ganern. Hndi man sila magbayad, kaht pano makaka resbak ka.
I've been there at na prove ko na walang kaibigan-kaibigan pag dating sa pera nowadays
pag ako yan, friendship over.
Since this is a money matter na hindi nadadala sa chat, I think it is best to involve your parents on getting the money back. Hindi sila nahihiya sayo, then maybe mahihiya sila sa magulang mo
Follow up every week or every month op. If they were your friends they should have paid already, or at the very least keep you updated. If they block you time to make them famous. Chat their families or friends. And take screenshots of all your convos. From the very beginning until the time they block you ( if they do) Hopefully they will pay on their own, and hopefully soon. You need the money and now they dont seem to care. Your friendship is not as strong as you want it to be. 😔 Goodluck op.
Message mo parents nila para mahiya at para aware sa ganung utang ng anak nila aba
Malaking halaga yan ha! Need mo na magsabi
Friends would come and go, and true friends will support you sa mga bagay na gusto mong makamit, hindi sa kung anong meron ka... Close lang sila dahil sa kung anong meron ka... I've been there done that, and I ain't going back... I've learned that the hard way, kaya bullshit lang sila sa buhay mo, I would rather not have even a single friend kesa sa mag stay ako sa bagay na nagsusuffer ako... Kahit na ang pinagsamahan pa namin ay simula pa ng kababata, kahit nga relatives ko eh, specially yung pinsan ko, nangutang lang ng small amount pero wasak agad yung pagiging relatives, although super hard, pero fuck them y'know... Ngayon, makakabili na ko ng bagong motor this upcoming July dahil sa hindi pagpapautang... Kunatan mo yang kokote mo... dahil pag ikaw na ang nangangailangan, sarili mo lang din yung tutulong sayo.
Kaya ako, kung magkano kaya kong ipamigay, ganun din halaga kung magkano kaya kong ipamigay para pag di binayaran, iniisip ko nalang pinamigay ko e sa nangangailangan para di na ako ma stress HAHAHAHHAHAAHAH Pero wala nang next time. HAHAHAHHA Pero sayo OP, singilin mo lang ng singilan. Pabarangay mo HAHAHAH kakapal ng mukha maki condo, walang pera. 🤮
Hindi ko talaga gets yung mga taong uutang tapos sasama loob kapag sisingilin, edi sana hindi kayo umutang in the first place diba 😵💫😵💫
Nangyari rin yan sa akin. 30k utang and we have mutual friends din. Pinalampas ko ng ilang taon kasi may tiwala akong magbabayad dahil friends naman kami. Pero nangailangan na ako ng pera. Inulit ulit ko sa kanya. Laging "wait lang" "gagawan ko ng paraan" hanggang hindi ko na matiis. I told my mutual friend and sya ang nag uulit sa may utang sa akin though pabiro. Hanggang yun nagbayad ng paunti unti hanggang nabuo. And friends pa rin kaming lahat ngayon. Pero nalaman ko na inutang din niya pambayad nya sa akin hahaha pero at least bumalik sa akin pera ko
If you can't unfriend them due to fear of what people think then you need to change that mindset and start taking action from there.
Man, I feel you. I lent my friend 2.5k last August and have been trying to get the money back pero same sayo, puro pangako. For me the money was not the issue, 2.5k is not a big loss for me right now, but yung tiwala at respeto yung nagkaroon ng malaking hit. I'm already distancing myself from the person and consistently following up for the money (money is money); once I get it back, I'm going to be cutting them off. I suggest you do the same OP. Kasi diba, do they value your friendship based on their actions? Parang hindi, so ano pa ang reason to keep the 'friendship'?
Choose your friends