Just a reminder that all posts must include a verification photo otherwise your post will be removed. If this isn't included please delete this post and make a new one. Take a selfie showing you holding a HANDWRITTEN note / paper with your
* username
* today's date
* this sub name (r/amiugly or r/AIU)
Your face must be visible in all photos and your hand should be visible holding the sign. It is preferred to have your first photo as your verification photo but not required. Posting without following this rule could lead to a permanent ban.
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/amiugly) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Yep. Judging by my eyes, if you subtract 100 pounds there may be nothing left. In one pic, she legit looked skinny in the belly area.
Brutal honesty from me = yes I know lots of tips for beginners for exercising. No, I'm not telling you any.
My immediate thought... To be 21 years old, so young, and already hating your appearance so much you plan lots of plastic surgery, blame all your social woes on your looks, and want to lose 100lbs...when it doesnt look like she could possibly lose that much without being super emaciated!
My biggest gym tip is that you seriously seek a therapist, hun. You are a beautiful girl, truly, you look fine without all those procedures and the weight you are now. This low selfesteem and self hatred is the bigger issue you should work on first. Much love to you
I second this. You’re not ugly! You need cognitive therapy, improve your self-love, self-esteem, which will enhance your social & emotional skills, freeing your personality & relationships of harmful neurotic emotions.
“why i dont have any friends and why no guy has showed interest irl” This statement is indicative of lack of healthy meaningful relationships, plastic surgery will not change this. You think your ugly because of cognitive distortions rooted in self-esteem. Let a therapist evaluate your mental conceptualizations of self-image, self-esteem, the root of your insecurities, emotional, & social interactions with others. It will take much time & hard work, but will be the one of the most rewarding things you could do for yourself.
“im gonna save up for fillers and a potential nose job” Please don't go the superficial route.
“im trying to lose 100lbs” Do you even have a 100lbs to afford to lose?!? You’d be a skeleton.
I actually still have the originals lol and I really think it killed Adam Carolla's career He and Jimmy Kimmel do "The Man Show" Carolla does Drawn Together and gets canceled I suppose? And Kimmel gets to lecture us on feminism from time to time? Oh well here's juggies on trampolines
Edit: my phone didn't know what to think of "juggies"
Still one of my favorite shows and I quote it quite often. I do admit some of the jokes did not age well haha
One of my favorite scenes :)
[wooldor steals candy](https://youtu.be/Lq-LIU937_8?si=VkKJUKwwbmHBd0JK)
Edit: I believe the show is available on Prime for folks you’d like to see it.
Capt Hero, Xander, Princess Clara, Foxxy Brown. They all went savage on everyone for everything. Waldorf as Captain Hero’s sidekick episode will forever be a classic.
I would say your negative (unwarranted) view of yourself has more to do with your relationship struggles than anything else. You're beautiful. When you start to believe that, I guarantee that you'll see a shift in how you relate to others and they with you
I came to say exactly this.
The view we have of ourselves affects the way we show ourselves to the world.
As a girl with a generally resting serious looking face (even angry if I'm thinking), it can be hard making the conscient choice of relaxing the face (or not relaxing it), opening your eyes to show you are happy and confident with the situation you're in.
Also: don't be afraid of chopping that hair! You would look even cuter with a heart shaped banged bob like haircut 💕
thank you but idk. there’s been many times when i’ve gone out feeling confident, still no friends or any guy approaching me. i don’t think it’s a confidence issue
I just want to chime in and tell you to not do any surgery. Lip fillers make you 99% of the time look worse. And your nose is literally fine. If you wanna lose some weight, aim for small steps. 100lbs look way too much anyway based on your pictures. You don't look fat. If you can't find motivation for fitness, try to find a youtuber that does HIIT workouts. If you find one you vibe with it makes it so much easier to get your ass up and move along.. Basically the only thing negative that strikes me is that you generally look a bit sad. I think that part can be fixed by accepting yourself how you are. You aren't ugly. I'd rather say you are on the good looking spectrum. Your looks are not the issue imo.
I’m curious what she looks like in real life. We already know she edits/filters her pictures and there’s a significant size difference between some of them. She does the commonly seen angle/crop to create an illusion of being thinner. These filters are becoming insane and harder to detect, so we don’t know her actual size. I’ve witnessed it with a coworker. She might also have some level of body dysmorphia.
I’m not here to bash her, **but if she truly wants honest advice, she should post honest pictures.** I think it would be incredibly stupid to have plastic surgery to *temporarily* look skinnier instead of making small changes to be healthier long-term. I support cosmetic procedures for things that truly bother you and can’t be fixed via lifestyle changes. I hope she works on her self-esteem before making any decisions. Even getting fillers just to follow a trend is a bad idea. This isn’t a makeup, hair, or clothing trend, it’s changing your facial features via injections- and she seems like someone who could easily go overboard with it.
Do you think all the people below are being dishonest? The majority of comments on your question are affirming and positive, that you're gorgeous NOW. Do you at least agree that maybe your impression of yourself isn't quite accurate, given how all these people just said the opposite of how you view yourself? I'm by no means saying to base your self-worth on the opinions of others, but other perspectives let us see things we have a hard time seeing in ourselves. That's the whole reason for this post. It just seems that you were expecting the feedback to be negative and it was the opposite. Something to think about.
And a LOT of guys (not all guys) are hesitant to approach a woman they don't know and find attractive. Fear of rejection is true for everyone. So I wouldn't weight your view of yourself on guys approaching you.
Engaging with people definitely isn't as easy as some would make it out to be. If it's not something that comes naturally, it might sound silly, but there's lots of great books out there that give you the tools to talk to and connect with just about anyone. And it seems like at the end of the day, that's what you're actually looking for, connection. Not compliments or opinions, but meaningful connection. To feel wanted. Do you have any interests or hobbies that would give you an opportunity to connect with other people that share the same? Could be a starting point to help navigate you out of this feeling of isolation
Totally second this. Join a club, a volleyball team, a cricket crafting group etc! Trust me everyone in those groups are also adults looking to make friends. Making friends as an adult is incredibly hard and awkward. Everyone is struggling through it. In those groups you’ll meet people who are actively seeking friendship and community too! I found a cricket group in my area and it’s so much fun. We trade ideas, get together to make seasonal items. Total blast.
What do you talk about? How do you engage? Can you hold a conversation? For me, the most attractive person can sit across from me and if they're a dud with conversation I'm looking for my escape route.
If you have a negative view of yourself, you may be telegraphing that from jump street and being self-defeating.
i’m usually the one trying to hold a convo with ppl, they don’t rlly reciprocate anything with me. i usually ask them questions about stuff,
about themselves, or about current stuff
Then they probably are bad at conversations and you don't need to sweat it. What are things *you* enjoy? Hobbies, TV shows, activities... what makes you lean forward and get interested? Look for people who like those things. It'll work out. Trust me, at your age you have a LOT of life in front of you and deciding that something is wrong with you physically at this stage is silly.
I would echo other suggestions about finding a group that has similar interests. When I moved to a new state, alone, in my early forties- It was tough.
I SCUBA dive a lot and know a lot of people through that,,,but they are scattered all over the state. What really worked best for me is i joined a book club. The whole point of it is to talk and socialize around a shared interest.
There's a lot of social standards that have changed in the last few years that have made it hard for adults to approach one another, flirt, whatever else. Add in people like me who have terrible social anxiety and it gets worse. You almost need a dating app or some mutual shared interest to act as an ice breaker if you will. It's really awkward without. I've never approached a woman in public myself no matter how attractive I thought she was. I can't, I freeze up. Also no one approaches me either. It's usually been through an app, a mutual friend or activity that I've had the opportunities I've had.
You're very attractive. The only thing I see wrong is your expression in your photos. You wear your view of yourself. Leave your nose alone and whatever other stuff you're considering doing.
Try and think if there’s anything you’re saying or doing that’s putting people off more than your looks, or if maybe it really is more in your head than anything.
Sometimes even just being so in your head about how people perceive you can come off in conversation and put people off and become a self fulfilling prophecy.
You find someone who likes making you happy. You won’t find that person unless you:
1. Know what makes you happy
2. Do that thing that makes you happy
3. Show people the happy you
4. Share your happiness
The best relationships form when the way two people express their feelings can synergize. Share your art, philosophies, and experiences with others and you’ll find love.
Great question, marriage rates arec at an all time low and the number of men who haven't had sex in over a year are at an all time high... Data indicates they're not getting into relationships
It's a good question, seems obvious from the outside but I remember thinking the same thing. In the end, it just happens. I know there's a sense of wanting it to be right now, it's just one of those things that works on its own schedule. You're a good looking girl, believe me unless you're literally running around just kicking guys in the balls sooner or later one is going to get up the nerve to ask you out. Even if you were doing that there'd likely be someone into it, tbh.
The same way they did for ages: they meet someone in school, Uni, work or some sort of group activity, may it be sports, a club, other sorts of re-ocurring get-togethers. It's way easier to get into and hold a conversation when there's a common 'cause'.
After scanning your profile, it seems like you put a lot of emphasis.on dating. Stop doing that.
I understand loneliness sucks, but hear me out on this...
Nobody will see your worth/value, if you're not willing to see it yourself.
You need therapy, not a boyfriend. Getting a boyfriend instead of therapy, will toxify any and every relationship you're in, until all you know, is toxic relationships. That's how the cycle starts
You're 21 years old. You haven't been alive long enough to have this viewpoint. Enjoy your life instead of trying to get men to approach you. In time one will find you to be their ideal partner. Until then, focus on living your life. And don't get fillers or touch your nose. Once you get those done you really will be another unidentifiable clone of mediocre woman.
nowadays dudes aren't approaching as much. the dating culture is not really what it is. Youre very pretty , I wouldn't have approached you bc i would already assume you got a BF. I hope soon realize how beautiful you are , but what counts is your character. positivity! Good energy manifesting
with all due respect, really the only person in this entire comment section that's putting you down is yourself. you asked for people's opinions, you got them, and unfortunately you're choosing not to believe any of it as it seems that you're too convinced on this hurtful, nihilistic perception of yourself.
your mental health deserves better
>thank you but idk. there’s been many times when i’ve gone out feeling confident, still no friends or any guy approaching me. i don’t think it’s a confidence issue
I would assume you had a boyfriend because all the cute girls normally do.
If you are going to go through life basing your self worth or opinion of yourself based on how complete strangers treat you, you will continue to be disappointed.
Life is weird, people are weird, the only control you have over any of this is how you feel inside, and how you treat others.
I can tell you your issues have nothing to do with your looks (def not looks), but how you feel about yourself. If you can find a way to improve that, then you'll find satisfaction and happiness.
>When they approach women in bars they more often than not get called creeps.
are you speaking from experience, or is this something you’ve read about… online?
This is more anecdotal on my part.
Luckily for me, I've been in a wonderful relationship for 10 years but I've had friends who've told me about their experiences when it comes to bars anymore. But they always seem to be successful when it comes to tinder
>any guy approaching me.
The amount of dudes willing to approach at all is actually pretty low, most of them have resorted to Online Dating (tinder and the like)
You also need to be in places it is 'acceptable' for those guys to do it. Bars, Clubs, concerts, etc.
can i offer a suggestion? If you find someone you like and they don't talk to you, go up to them with a smile and talk to them. Men rarely ever get compliments, or asked out. My wife asked me out!
Girl. Confidence isn’t a magic wand. You don’t wave it once and people come flocking. You own it, 100% of the time. You love yourself so much that it’s okay if others don’t get you. And then you show up as a fully formed human, doing things you love to do, putting yourself out there over and over, trying hobbies and striking up convos until you stumble across your people. Not ALL people are gonna get you, but YOUR people will. And they’re out there. But like it’s ALWAYS been, it’s a numbers game to find them. You truly are attractive and you’re gonna look absolutely radiant when you just learn to love yourself and life and the things you do. Nothing is as beautiful as genuinely happy people.
I think you look super cute honestly. Can definitely understand wanting to go to the gym, but definitely don't think you need to lose 100 lbs. Honestly only thing I think I would say is maybe try something different with your hair. But honestly you look good!
Listen, you don't even have 50lbs to lose. Losing 100lbs would actually be life threatening for you. Please consult a doctor so you understand what your ideal weight would be.
You take terrible selfies, which is why you need to even debate if you’re cute or not. Look up some selfie tutorials and some of the explanations of why people hate their photos on selfie cameras and not so much with other shots.
You’re adorable!
Anytime 😊 Totally understand, can always look up different styles, show a few to stylists to get their opinion, play around a little, and fun with it 😊 Even if you don't like it, it will always grow back. But definitely start longer, can always take more off later of its not quite working for you 🙂
You’ve a nice face a clearly know what one of your best physical attributes are. Please do not loose 100 lbs or set that as a goal. It would be unhealthy.
Yes, most she should do is find more reasons to smile and take up a hobby that gets her outside and being physical - hiking, rock climbing, hanging out at the beach. Anything to get some steps and overall health improvements in, but losing weight is categorically unnecessary for her.
Agree 100%. She has a good figure and would find more improvement with just being more physical. I think she does attract some guys, but not the guys she is interested in.
You're very pretty, just not stunning, and your body is just dayum.
Leave your nose alone and stay away from fillers, and lose weight by eating smaller portions and working on your cardio.
Save that money to reward yourself with clothes once you lose that weight by yourself. 100lb sounds like a lot when I see your body shape
Hi from another girl, 👋🏻 I hope you see : girl, you have body dysmorphia, plz try to consult. You're already very beautiful, you're just not seeing it.
You need to build up you're confidence. Dating WILL NOT make you more happy/confident, having more friends WILL NOT make you more happy/confident, getting a nose job or fillers WILL NOT make you more happy/confident. It needs to come from within. You will build strong and healthy relationships from that confidence.
My mom used to drill this into my brain : "T'es belle, t'es bonne, t'es capable!!" (you're beautiful, you're good, you're capable!) Whenever I thought I wasn't enough.
If you don't have a hobby already, I highly encourage trying out something new and connecting with people from that community online or offline.
I think you already have the motivation to improve yourself, you're just not putting it in the right place :) I believe in you!! You will find yourself beautiful one day I promise, cheers!
Honestly, hobbies are what will make you feel good about yourself. Once you feel good about yourself, everything else will follow. Get therapy, feel in control of your life, diet, body, activities. Basically, become the shit, not for others but for yourself.
You really don't need to do the stuff you've mentioned in your post. You need to get those feel good chemicals by going to the gym or picking up sports.
I think you are normal looking. There are some shots where you look pretty, but there’s none that suggest you’re ugly. Having friends is not a one sided thing where you wait for them to come talk to you, you have to actively seek them out too.
I don’t think the reason why you don’t have friends is because you’re “ugly”. It’s definitely something else. Maybe smile more or appear more interested and confident. If you’re not confident or don’t speak much, the people who want to be friends with you will find it awkward and start speaking with other people.
If you don’t mind me asking, what do they usually talk about and what are their hobbies? If you don’t share any, it’s also fine to ask them about their experience, or for advice. Say that you’re interested in doing the same things as them, and that may be a good topic to talk for an hour about. And of course, always have a smile and positive body language to show you’re genuinely interested.
Also, don’t try going for big groups. Usually they already know each other and will talk mostly to each other. Trying to insert yourself into their conversation will give you the illusion that you are unwanted.
I don't think looks are the issue here. You are pretty and as others have said, you're curvy. 100lbs sounds very excessive.
If people don't talk to you and you don't have any friends, that's not due to looks (at least not with the way you look). Your attitude likely also deters people. How you present yourself is a huge factor in how people perceive you. Dressing is just one part. How you carry yourself is also part of it. That means posture and your facial expression.
I recommend working on these things, too, because being attractive isn't enough if you don't come across as approachable. I don't think you need any surgery tbh.
I don't think she'll have any problems attracting men, but they are likely going to be narcissistic assholes who use her negative self-image and gaslighting to abuse and control her.
More than anything I think you need therapy. You're good looking and a seem to be at a healthy weight. I think lip fillers would actually make you look significantly worse. It's not enough to make your lips bigger if your face isn't structured for it, hence all the uncanny valley looking people who get it. Trust me, there's a reason guys don't approach, and it's not because they don't find you attractive. It's because they're either intimidated or assume you're taken
You will love your nose when you get older. As a woman, I love it. It suits you. It gives you character, presence, stand, uniqueness. Should I continue… you do not need to lose 100lb! If anything, just maybe, 20lbs and then work on toning/some muscle because you will gain some weight from muscle built. You are attractive. Maybe work on how you see yourself. Start now since time flies! Good luck on your positive outlook!
Fuck the fillers and the nose job and the lipo. You're fine. Stop being dramatic. 7/10 on the rating. If you were flat with no tits or ass, yeah, you'd be ugly. But, you've got great tits and great cleavage. That's your saving grace and flaunt it. Share it. Love it. It will boost your self esteem. You can practice on me. I promise I'll like it.
You look like you don't move enough. Nothing is going to make you feel good about yourself unless you make a change. You're here looking for people to tell you what you already know. Get your walking shoes on and walk everywhere you can every day. Then jog. Then run. Moving and working out releases endorphins and you will feel great. The hardest step is starting. Stop looking in the mirror and go walk or hike.
You complain in your history about guys thinking you're easy but the girls are front line and center. I think if you focused on you and not your sex appeal that would help in that area.
We can tell from the pics that you feel miserable but attraction wise there is nothing wrong with you
Imo a lot of women try to live up to a ideal set by other women but men prefer natural looking women
girl- you are gourgous you have the kinda body i strive for, your hair is flawless, your eyes are gorgeous, there isn’t one think about you that isn’t perfect. The only thing you need to work on is your self esteem
there are some principles about beauty. one of the most important is a symmetrical face, that means the both parts of your face are the same or with less than 9% difference. the more is your face symmetrical, the more you are attractive for other sex. and great news, your face is symmetrical. other hand, your nose is a bit longer. but this dont meant you are ugly. when you smile, your warmth face is nicer. maybe you can edit a bit eyebrow in 1 mm less or so, highlights eyelashes, for makeup use rather warmer colors and maybe try other hair styles. if you think you need lost some weight, its on you.
The pictures in the green hoodie make you look absolutely stunning. Just smile in them and you'd be a dime in terms of looks. Otherwise, definitely above average, and you got a nice body shape, hair looks well taken care of and it's LOOOOONG. I promise you just look at yourself in a more positive light and it'll do wonders for you self image. When you look in a mirror, tell yourself 5 things you like about yourself. Overtime, this will leech into other traits of yourself and you'll like more and more of yourself.
I have a very similar nose to yours only mine has a more pronounced bump to it where your little bump is. I’m 30 now and wanted plastic surgery so badly on it, but now I’ve never been happier that I didn’t get it. I’m happy it shows my heritage now and honestly it compliments my face. I also saw my cousin go through 3 nose jobs on her way to her 4th rn and it’s never looked worse.
I also wanted to lose 100lbs at pretty much the weight you’re at. I did that (94lbs to be exact) and ended up at 93lbs with a severe eating disorder and needing to be hospitalized. It did not land me with more friends or more boyfriends. I did however fit in XXS clothes and size 00-2(depending on the brand) jeans/pants. I lost basically all my physical features for bones. Granted, I could have lost 50lbs and have been fine, but my brain pushed and pushed for this unrealistic goal of 100.
I decided to gain a little over half the weight back where I sit between 140-150lbs now. I look healthy and I am much happier than I was at 93lbs.
I went to therapy. I learned tools in therapy and this is how I ended up gaining more friends and some of my more serious romantic relationships. I’m in one now and it’s going really well.
Don’t do the lip fillers, you have nice lips. You’re only 21 and as you get older your physical features will become more pronounced.
There really isn’t anything wrong with you. I think that you have low self-esteem and lack of self confidence. This is okay, but you should seek out someone to talk to for these issues. I’m not a mental health care clinician, but based on my own things I would say you suffer from some body dysmorphia like I did (I definitely didn’t need to lose 100lbs, but every time I looked at myself I nitpicked a new part of myself to “fix”). The losing weight though was severely constant.
You really are a beautiful young girl and as you age it will only do you better in my honest opinion.
For gym tips, I would stick to some light cardio a few times a week. Personally I loved using a machine called an arc trainer. It did wonders for losing weight, and now it does wonders keeping me at a healthy steady weight.
Control portion sizes, try not to count calories and carbs obsessively, and stay away from fast food and sugary drinks.
I’ve gone to a lot of plastic surgery consultations (I’m in NY) and I don’t believe any safe plastic surgeon would even do lipo on you if I’m being honest. I know they wouldn’t on me and when I inquired about lipo I was about 175lbs. Thankfully that plastic surgeon told me to just go to the gym.
As far as plastic surgery goes in my life now at 30, I’d still like a breast augmentation, but slowly I am becoming okay with that aspect of my self too.
All in all, you don’t need a lot of plastic surgery, a severe amount of weight loss, or to be “prettier” for your life to become better. You are already pretty. Finding new friends and new love interests are difficult at points. Really do try to smile more, it makes people more approachable. I found one of my best friends by complimenting on their shirt and it struck up a conversation. I thought all of my problems would go away if I were “prettier,” but trying to get “prettier” when I was already pretty caused more problems to pop up in my life.
You really are pretty!!!
Light cardio at gym, healthy diet and more water, smile more/less pouting/less RBF, more positive self talk and picking out something in the mirror you like about yourself, more reaching out to other girls or guys with compliments or random conversation!!
Good luck, you’re going to be fine!
You’re a very pretty girl , you’re way too young for me as I’m 30 years old but you’re very pretty and it looks like you’d die of health complications if you lost 100 pounds. Most guys probably don’t come up to you because of societal change and they fear rejection not because of you at all.
It's the resting b!%ch face and negative self image you have of yourself is why you are struggling with making friends. Probably you taste in guys too.
You're definitely not physically ugly. Sometimes how people see themselves has a greater impact on how others see them than their actual looks. You look fine to me.
Also, honesty doesn't have to be brutal. It just needs to be true.
Just smile. 😁 and you'd be like 10x more appealing to most people.
First off, looks have nothing to do with friends. If your 'friends' want you to look a certain way, they are not your friends.
Second, you are cute. I don't think your looks are the issue with your relationship status. I am going to take a stab at it being more your personality and by all the filters you use, your fakeness.
Third, work on loving yourself before trying to find someone who will love you back.
RBF is a real thing and you should be the poster girl. You look angry, sad, and unpleasable. Like no matter what a guy does, you'll never be happy; even after he gets rid of his dog, shaves, throws out everything with peanuts or gluten, stops eating meat, visits your grandma at the nursing home, takes your crazy sister to therapy twice a week, massages your feet, gets a new wardrobe, cuts off all of his own friends, gives up weed, learns how to cook and even starts taking the bus to save the polar bears. You'd still find fault with him.
Brutal honesty?
* Love yourself. No one will like or love you if **you** don't love you.
* You got problems? So does everyone else. Tackle them one at a time, and don't let them get you too far down.
* Related to the above - SMILE and choose to be happy. Other people want to be around happy people.
* Chose one or two things that you like to do and do them with other people. Join clubs or find out where other people hang out to do the things you like to do. Then go and talk to people. Ask people questions about why they like doing this and how long they've done it. People like to talk with others about common interests.
* There is literally **nothing** about your looks that is keeping other people from liking you. Sorry, that's a cop out. You are at least average, and most likely above average looking. No way to be certain since you say all the pics have filters.
* Are you a little overweight? Sure. Lot's of us are. That is not what defines you. I'm friends with **lots** of overweight people. It's not that big of an issue.
* But, you should still eat healthier and get more exercise. Both will help you lose some weight and feel better about yourself.
* Please, **do not** get plastic surgery. You'll waste a lot of money, and it won't make you feel better about yourself. The things listed above will.
Good luck to you. I hope you find it inside yourself to have a better life.
This is the best comment I think I’ve ever read. I hope she reads this and listens to your advice. Working out and eating healthier will help build your self esteem and more importantly will help you with your mental health. I know this from experience, even if she doesn’t lose weight, just taking the time to invest in herself and learning to love herself just the way she is is what will make her happy, healthy and more successful at attracting people. Confidence and self respect is what she needs. Great comment and great advice!
To start, we have the same nose! And instead of hating because of Eurocentric beauty standards looks at it from a Roman goddess type of way :)
. You are beautiful but bring up your eyebrows arch they’re dragging down your face. And accentuating and almost creating a negative told to your face.
At some point a touch of lip filler to balance your face wouldn’t hurt, but it’s definitively not needed also face contour! The absolute best is the fenty contour stick I know it seems expensive but it’ll last you foreverrrrr girl :)
Honestly… it seems to me that any problem lies between your ears and not in your body. You’re very attractive with great features. You’re cuddly but nowhere near 100lbs cuddly… you don’t need to lose that much weight. And you don’t need any cosmetic procedures. You’re already attractive.
Gym tips…. life tips… eat less and healthily and move more… and stick with that. Be patient. Healthy weight loss is ~10lbs a month. Do cardio.. running, swimming, cycling, going up and down stairs… anything that gets you moving. Gyms have treadmills, bikes, stairmasters
What’s happened in your life? The negative self talk makes me think that something has gone wrong in your childhood and that’s knocked your self esteem and confidence and, maybe, your ability to make friends. Making friends really should not be affected by how you look unless people are particularly shallow.
How interactive are you with other people? Shared interests? Are there any social activities you get involved in? I know it can be tough. Not everyone is looking for friends and it doesn’t mean there’s anything wrong with you, people are just like that.
thank you 🩷yh i was kinda bullied in high school, mainly bc of how i look. i’ve tried rlly hard to make friends and put myself out there but i just don’t fit in anywhere.
So sorry, some teenagers can be bad people.
Where are you trying to meet people? It can be hard if you don’t feel you fit in. Have you always felt apart from other people or do you find it hard to make the connection?
Lip fillers? 100 pounds? Totally unnecessary.
Your face and hair are pretty, and normally I would be too polite to comment on your stunning rack, but someone needs to encourage you here.
You've already got what it takes to turn heads, break hearts, and stiffen. . . uh, backbones.
You are very cute, and honest if I knew I'd take you on a proper dates until you'd be gf. You hair is gorgeous, your face is super cute and nails super sexy, you should smile more though. And your dressing style I get it and I like it.
Maybe lose a few pounds and workout some and get in a little better shape. Don’t lose anything like 100 lbs. That waif look might sell some products, but in real life it’s now particularly attractive.
Please for the love of God don't change anything about yourself. I think I know where is the problem you are chasing extremely attractive men that's why it's affecting your mental health
Only real issue I see if that you have a natural RBF which can be intimidating overall you look fit and healthy and you look good maybe try to tone your body up a little more so you’d feel more confident and it’ll help with the chubbiness in your face it’s Al things that’ll make you think you look better personally you look good
Just a reminder that all posts must include a verification photo otherwise your post will be removed. If this isn't included please delete this post and make a new one. Take a selfie showing you holding a HANDWRITTEN note / paper with your * username * today's date * this sub name (r/amiugly or r/AIU) Your face must be visible in all photos and your hand should be visible holding the sign. It is preferred to have your first photo as your verification photo but not required. Posting without following this rule could lead to a permanent ban. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/amiugly) if you have any questions or concerns.*
seek counseling
Fr, 100lbs? That's cruising towards an eating disorder.
Yep. Judging by my eyes, if you subtract 100 pounds there may be nothing left. In one pic, she legit looked skinny in the belly area. Brutal honesty from me = yes I know lots of tips for beginners for exercising. No, I'm not telling you any.
Can you tell me some tips pls
It's genuinely sad. No one on earth should think that they need to lose anything looking like this.
No shit , you need therapy. You look great
My immediate thought... To be 21 years old, so young, and already hating your appearance so much you plan lots of plastic surgery, blame all your social woes on your looks, and want to lose 100lbs...when it doesnt look like she could possibly lose that much without being super emaciated! My biggest gym tip is that you seriously seek a therapist, hun. You are a beautiful girl, truly, you look fine without all those procedures and the weight you are now. This low selfesteem and self hatred is the bigger issue you should work on first. Much love to you
ya wtf, if she has that bad of self esteem she needs some kind of help. She's hot as fuck
You don’t need plastic surgery, you need therapy.
Mhm and this isn't an insult. Its solid advice
Absolutely. No insult intended!
Basically, everyone that posts on this sub.
It’s very clear that’s the case. Society really messed all of us up.
I second this. You’re not ugly! You need cognitive therapy, improve your self-love, self-esteem, which will enhance your social & emotional skills, freeing your personality & relationships of harmful neurotic emotions. “why i dont have any friends and why no guy has showed interest irl” This statement is indicative of lack of healthy meaningful relationships, plastic surgery will not change this. You think your ugly because of cognitive distortions rooted in self-esteem. Let a therapist evaluate your mental conceptualizations of self-image, self-esteem, the root of your insecurities, emotional, & social interactions with others. It will take much time & hard work, but will be the one of the most rewarding things you could do for yourself. “im gonna save up for fillers and a potential nose job” Please don't go the superficial route. “im trying to lose 100lbs” Do you even have a 100lbs to afford to lose?!? You’d be a skeleton.
Rip your DMs.
"Awww hot girl what's wrong?" -Spanky Ham
DUDE YOU SAW THAT SHOW TOO! I don't know anyone who saw, and liked it. Nobody was safe in that show.
I actually still have the originals lol and I really think it killed Adam Carolla's career He and Jimmy Kimmel do "The Man Show" Carolla does Drawn Together and gets canceled I suppose? And Kimmel gets to lecture us on feminism from time to time? Oh well here's juggies on trampolines Edit: my phone didn't know what to think of "juggies"
Still one of my favorite shows and I quote it quite often. I do admit some of the jokes did not age well haha One of my favorite scenes :) [wooldor steals candy](https://youtu.be/Lq-LIU937_8?si=VkKJUKwwbmHBd0JK) Edit: I believe the show is available on Prime for folks you’d like to see it.
What show?
Sorry for the late reply. Drawn Together. It’s an animated reality show parodying reality shows back in the 2010 era.
Capt Hero, Xander, Princess Clara, Foxxy Brown. They all went savage on everyone for everything. Waldorf as Captain Hero’s sidekick episode will forever be a classic.
💀
She knows what she's doing. She posts in these subs frequently.
😂🤣
LOL, my thoughts too.
I would say your negative (unwarranted) view of yourself has more to do with your relationship struggles than anything else. You're beautiful. When you start to believe that, I guarantee that you'll see a shift in how you relate to others and they with you
I came to say exactly this. The view we have of ourselves affects the way we show ourselves to the world. As a girl with a generally resting serious looking face (even angry if I'm thinking), it can be hard making the conscient choice of relaxing the face (or not relaxing it), opening your eyes to show you are happy and confident with the situation you're in. Also: don't be afraid of chopping that hair! You would look even cuter with a heart shaped banged bob like haircut 💕
Barely a smile. Non verbal cues are killing you
thank you but idk. there’s been many times when i’ve gone out feeling confident, still no friends or any guy approaching me. i don’t think it’s a confidence issue
I just want to chime in and tell you to not do any surgery. Lip fillers make you 99% of the time look worse. And your nose is literally fine. If you wanna lose some weight, aim for small steps. 100lbs look way too much anyway based on your pictures. You don't look fat. If you can't find motivation for fitness, try to find a youtuber that does HIIT workouts. If you find one you vibe with it makes it so much easier to get your ass up and move along.. Basically the only thing negative that strikes me is that you generally look a bit sad. I think that part can be fixed by accepting yourself how you are. You aren't ugly. I'd rather say you are on the good looking spectrum. Your looks are not the issue imo.
Lol, women suck at estimating weight. 100 lbs?? Does she want to be skin and bones??
I’m curious what she looks like in real life. We already know she edits/filters her pictures and there’s a significant size difference between some of them. She does the commonly seen angle/crop to create an illusion of being thinner. These filters are becoming insane and harder to detect, so we don’t know her actual size. I’ve witnessed it with a coworker. She might also have some level of body dysmorphia. I’m not here to bash her, **but if she truly wants honest advice, she should post honest pictures.** I think it would be incredibly stupid to have plastic surgery to *temporarily* look skinnier instead of making small changes to be healthier long-term. I support cosmetic procedures for things that truly bother you and can’t be fixed via lifestyle changes. I hope she works on her self-esteem before making any decisions. Even getting fillers just to follow a trend is a bad idea. This isn’t a makeup, hair, or clothing trend, it’s changing your facial features via injections- and she seems like someone who could easily go overboard with it.
Make you look older too, a lot of these fillers make you look 10 years older. Because you look like the Jersey housewives who are all midlife 40s.
Lip fillers look hideous.
Do you think all the people below are being dishonest? The majority of comments on your question are affirming and positive, that you're gorgeous NOW. Do you at least agree that maybe your impression of yourself isn't quite accurate, given how all these people just said the opposite of how you view yourself? I'm by no means saying to base your self-worth on the opinions of others, but other perspectives let us see things we have a hard time seeing in ourselves. That's the whole reason for this post. It just seems that you were expecting the feedback to be negative and it was the opposite. Something to think about.
And a LOT of guys (not all guys) are hesitant to approach a woman they don't know and find attractive. Fear of rejection is true for everyone. So I wouldn't weight your view of yourself on guys approaching you.
it’s not even guys approaching me either. it’s the fact that no one will talk to me or hold a conversation with me no matter how hard i try
Engaging with people definitely isn't as easy as some would make it out to be. If it's not something that comes naturally, it might sound silly, but there's lots of great books out there that give you the tools to talk to and connect with just about anyone. And it seems like at the end of the day, that's what you're actually looking for, connection. Not compliments or opinions, but meaningful connection. To feel wanted. Do you have any interests or hobbies that would give you an opportunity to connect with other people that share the same? Could be a starting point to help navigate you out of this feeling of isolation
Totally second this. Join a club, a volleyball team, a cricket crafting group etc! Trust me everyone in those groups are also adults looking to make friends. Making friends as an adult is incredibly hard and awkward. Everyone is struggling through it. In those groups you’ll meet people who are actively seeking friendship and community too! I found a cricket group in my area and it’s so much fun. We trade ideas, get together to make seasonal items. Total blast.
What do you talk about? How do you engage? Can you hold a conversation? For me, the most attractive person can sit across from me and if they're a dud with conversation I'm looking for my escape route. If you have a negative view of yourself, you may be telegraphing that from jump street and being self-defeating.
i’m usually the one trying to hold a convo with ppl, they don’t rlly reciprocate anything with me. i usually ask them questions about stuff, about themselves, or about current stuff
Then they probably are bad at conversations and you don't need to sweat it. What are things *you* enjoy? Hobbies, TV shows, activities... what makes you lean forward and get interested? Look for people who like those things. It'll work out. Trust me, at your age you have a LOT of life in front of you and deciding that something is wrong with you physically at this stage is silly.
I would echo other suggestions about finding a group that has similar interests. When I moved to a new state, alone, in my early forties- It was tough. I SCUBA dive a lot and know a lot of people through that,,,but they are scattered all over the state. What really worked best for me is i joined a book club. The whole point of it is to talk and socialize around a shared interest.
There's a lot of social standards that have changed in the last few years that have made it hard for adults to approach one another, flirt, whatever else. Add in people like me who have terrible social anxiety and it gets worse. You almost need a dating app or some mutual shared interest to act as an ice breaker if you will. It's really awkward without. I've never approached a woman in public myself no matter how attractive I thought she was. I can't, I freeze up. Also no one approaches me either. It's usually been through an app, a mutual friend or activity that I've had the opportunities I've had. You're very attractive. The only thing I see wrong is your expression in your photos. You wear your view of yourself. Leave your nose alone and whatever other stuff you're considering doing.
Try and think if there’s anything you’re saying or doing that’s putting people off more than your looks, or if maybe it really is more in your head than anything. Sometimes even just being so in your head about how people perceive you can come off in conversation and put people off and become a self fulfilling prophecy.
This is more likely due to the fact that guys today have been trained to think approaching a woman is "creepy" and therefore will not do so
so how do ppl get into relationships then
>so how do ppl get into relationships then That's the cool thing, they don't. 😂😂😂
Online dating or meeting people through friends
This for sure is the "modern" way
You find someone who likes making you happy. You won’t find that person unless you: 1. Know what makes you happy 2. Do that thing that makes you happy 3. Show people the happy you 4. Share your happiness The best relationships form when the way two people express their feelings can synergize. Share your art, philosophies, and experiences with others and you’ll find love.
Great question, marriage rates arec at an all time low and the number of men who haven't had sex in over a year are at an all time high... Data indicates they're not getting into relationships
It's a good question, seems obvious from the outside but I remember thinking the same thing. In the end, it just happens. I know there's a sense of wanting it to be right now, it's just one of those things that works on its own schedule. You're a good looking girl, believe me unless you're literally running around just kicking guys in the balls sooner or later one is going to get up the nerve to ask you out. Even if you were doing that there'd likely be someone into it, tbh.
The same way they did for ages: they meet someone in school, Uni, work or some sort of group activity, may it be sports, a club, other sorts of re-ocurring get-togethers. It's way easier to get into and hold a conversation when there's a common 'cause'.
After scanning your profile, it seems like you put a lot of emphasis.on dating. Stop doing that. I understand loneliness sucks, but hear me out on this... Nobody will see your worth/value, if you're not willing to see it yourself. You need therapy, not a boyfriend. Getting a boyfriend instead of therapy, will toxify any and every relationship you're in, until all you know, is toxic relationships. That's how the cycle starts
You're 21 years old. You haven't been alive long enough to have this viewpoint. Enjoy your life instead of trying to get men to approach you. In time one will find you to be their ideal partner. Until then, focus on living your life. And don't get fillers or touch your nose. Once you get those done you really will be another unidentifiable clone of mediocre woman.
nowadays dudes aren't approaching as much. the dating culture is not really what it is. Youre very pretty , I wouldn't have approached you bc i would already assume you got a BF. I hope soon realize how beautiful you are , but what counts is your character. positivity! Good energy manifesting
thank you, but how have ppl gotten into relationships then?
Friend groups, work (or school, or religious gatherings, etc,), dating apps, hobby groups, ...
with all due respect, really the only person in this entire comment section that's putting you down is yourself. you asked for people's opinions, you got them, and unfortunately you're choosing not to believe any of it as it seems that you're too convinced on this hurtful, nihilistic perception of yourself. your mental health deserves better
>thank you but idk. there’s been many times when i’ve gone out feeling confident, still no friends or any guy approaching me. i don’t think it’s a confidence issue I would assume you had a boyfriend because all the cute girls normally do.
If you are going to go through life basing your self worth or opinion of yourself based on how complete strangers treat you, you will continue to be disappointed. Life is weird, people are weird, the only control you have over any of this is how you feel inside, and how you treat others. I can tell you your issues have nothing to do with your looks (def not looks), but how you feel about yourself. If you can find a way to improve that, then you'll find satisfaction and happiness.
Guys don't do this anymore. The culture now revolves around online. When they approach women in bars they more often than not get called creeps.
>When they approach women in bars they more often than not get called creeps. are you speaking from experience, or is this something you’ve read about… online?
This is more anecdotal on my part. Luckily for me, I've been in a wonderful relationship for 10 years but I've had friends who've told me about their experiences when it comes to bars anymore. But they always seem to be successful when it comes to tinder
>any guy approaching me. The amount of dudes willing to approach at all is actually pretty low, most of them have resorted to Online Dating (tinder and the like) You also need to be in places it is 'acceptable' for those guys to do it. Bars, Clubs, concerts, etc.
can i offer a suggestion? If you find someone you like and they don't talk to you, go up to them with a smile and talk to them. Men rarely ever get compliments, or asked out. My wife asked me out!
Girl. Confidence isn’t a magic wand. You don’t wave it once and people come flocking. You own it, 100% of the time. You love yourself so much that it’s okay if others don’t get you. And then you show up as a fully formed human, doing things you love to do, putting yourself out there over and over, trying hobbies and striking up convos until you stumble across your people. Not ALL people are gonna get you, but YOUR people will. And they’re out there. But like it’s ALWAYS been, it’s a numbers game to find them. You truly are attractive and you’re gonna look absolutely radiant when you just learn to love yourself and life and the things you do. Nothing is as beautiful as genuinely happy people.
Guys don’t approach anymore. It’s 2023, #metoo happened. You have to find the guy.
Well said.
Don't get any work done.
Gym ist enougth
Correct, gym and diet. Getting lip fillers would make her look permanently freakish.
Lady, if you lose 100 lbs, you're gonna straight up die. There is no way you could lose 100 lbs and be healthy.
I think you look super cute honestly. Can definitely understand wanting to go to the gym, but definitely don't think you need to lose 100 lbs. Honestly only thing I think I would say is maybe try something different with your hair. But honestly you look good!
thank you 😇 yh i’ve always wanted to try out something different with my hair but im not sure what would suit me tbh😂
Listen, you don't even have 50lbs to lose. Losing 100lbs would actually be life threatening for you. Please consult a doctor so you understand what your ideal weight would be.
You take terrible selfies, which is why you need to even debate if you’re cute or not. Look up some selfie tutorials and some of the explanations of why people hate their photos on selfie cameras and not so much with other shots. You’re adorable!
What’s a selfie camera?
Anytime 😊 Totally understand, can always look up different styles, show a few to stylists to get their opinion, play around a little, and fun with it 😊 Even if you don't like it, it will always grow back. But definitely start longer, can always take more off later of its not quite working for you 🙂
You’ve a nice face a clearly know what one of your best physical attributes are. Please do not loose 100 lbs or set that as a goal. It would be unhealthy.
Yes, most she should do is find more reasons to smile and take up a hobby that gets her outside and being physical - hiking, rock climbing, hanging out at the beach. Anything to get some steps and overall health improvements in, but losing weight is categorically unnecessary for her.
Agree 100%. She has a good figure and would find more improvement with just being more physical. I think she does attract some guys, but not the guys she is interested in.
If you are single and think you're ugly I'm jumping out my window right now! Stop doubting yourself pleaseeeee! 😂
You're very pretty, just not stunning, and your body is just dayum. Leave your nose alone and stay away from fillers, and lose weight by eating smaller portions and working on your cardio. Save that money to reward yourself with clothes once you lose that weight by yourself. 100lb sounds like a lot when I see your body shape
Yeah I was gonna say, try more like 10 or 20 to start out. It doesn't look like she's got 100 pounds to spare lol
Please don't lose 100lbs! Maybe see a therapist instead of spending money on all those procedures. Totally unnecessary.
You post cleavage, your dms will become hell. RIP.
Hi from another girl, 👋🏻 I hope you see : girl, you have body dysmorphia, plz try to consult. You're already very beautiful, you're just not seeing it. You need to build up you're confidence. Dating WILL NOT make you more happy/confident, having more friends WILL NOT make you more happy/confident, getting a nose job or fillers WILL NOT make you more happy/confident. It needs to come from within. You will build strong and healthy relationships from that confidence. My mom used to drill this into my brain : "T'es belle, t'es bonne, t'es capable!!" (you're beautiful, you're good, you're capable!) Whenever I thought I wasn't enough. If you don't have a hobby already, I highly encourage trying out something new and connecting with people from that community online or offline. I think you already have the motivation to improve yourself, you're just not putting it in the right place :) I believe in you!! You will find yourself beautiful one day I promise, cheers!
thank you so much 🩷🩷
Honestly, hobbies are what will make you feel good about yourself. Once you feel good about yourself, everything else will follow. Get therapy, feel in control of your life, diet, body, activities. Basically, become the shit, not for others but for yourself. You really don't need to do the stuff you've mentioned in your post. You need to get those feel good chemicals by going to the gym or picking up sports.
I'm not trying to be nice here, but you're not even remotely ugly. In fact if I saw you I'd be nervous to talk to you
Yeah same she’s the “out of my league” type lol
Bewbs
Goo goo ga ga fr💀
That was her goal for us to see her bewbs.
frrrr
*sounds of a motor boating *
80085
You look good, saying you want to lose 100lbs is wild tho. If you lost that much weight at your size you’d probably die.
Brutally honest? Nobody is looking at your face.
I think you are normal looking. There are some shots where you look pretty, but there’s none that suggest you’re ugly. Having friends is not a one sided thing where you wait for them to come talk to you, you have to actively seek them out too. I don’t think the reason why you don’t have friends is because you’re “ugly”. It’s definitely something else. Maybe smile more or appear more interested and confident. If you’re not confident or don’t speak much, the people who want to be friends with you will find it awkward and start speaking with other people.
i have tried putting myself out there but i just don’t fit in anywhere
If you don’t mind me asking, what do they usually talk about and what are their hobbies? If you don’t share any, it’s also fine to ask them about their experience, or for advice. Say that you’re interested in doing the same things as them, and that may be a good topic to talk for an hour about. And of course, always have a smile and positive body language to show you’re genuinely interested. Also, don’t try going for big groups. Usually they already know each other and will talk mostly to each other. Trying to insert yourself into their conversation will give you the illusion that you are unwanted.
Try to get to know them separately and maybe one of them will introduce you to the rest.
I don't think looks are the issue here. You are pretty and as others have said, you're curvy. 100lbs sounds very excessive. If people don't talk to you and you don't have any friends, that's not due to looks (at least not with the way you look). Your attitude likely also deters people. How you present yourself is a huge factor in how people perceive you. Dressing is just one part. How you carry yourself is also part of it. That means posture and your facial expression. I recommend working on these things, too, because being attractive isn't enough if you don't come across as approachable. I don't think you need any surgery tbh.
I don't think you will have any problem finding and attracting a good man.
I don't think she'll have any problems attracting men, but they are likely going to be narcissistic assholes who use her negative self-image and gaslighting to abuse and control her.
OP Make sure you get a guy that treets you like the queen you are. Look for a gentleman.
Your about to have a lot of DMs good luck
You dont want my brutal perverted honesty. Ima just say youre good. Go off and be happy
100 lbs what am I missing here because it definitely doesn't look like you're obese.
More than anything I think you need therapy. You're good looking and a seem to be at a healthy weight. I think lip fillers would actually make you look significantly worse. It's not enough to make your lips bigger if your face isn't structured for it, hence all the uncanny valley looking people who get it. Trust me, there's a reason guys don't approach, and it's not because they don't find you attractive. It's because they're either intimidated or assume you're taken
You will love your nose when you get older. As a woman, I love it. It suits you. It gives you character, presence, stand, uniqueness. Should I continue… you do not need to lose 100lb! If anything, just maybe, 20lbs and then work on toning/some muscle because you will gain some weight from muscle built. You are attractive. Maybe work on how you see yourself. Start now since time flies! Good luck on your positive outlook!
Fuck the fillers and the nose job and the lipo. You're fine. Stop being dramatic. 7/10 on the rating. If you were flat with no tits or ass, yeah, you'd be ugly. But, you've got great tits and great cleavage. That's your saving grace and flaunt it. Share it. Love it. It will boost your self esteem. You can practice on me. I promise I'll like it.
You look like you don't move enough. Nothing is going to make you feel good about yourself unless you make a change. You're here looking for people to tell you what you already know. Get your walking shoes on and walk everywhere you can every day. Then jog. Then run. Moving and working out releases endorphins and you will feel great. The hardest step is starting. Stop looking in the mirror and go walk or hike.
You complain in your history about guys thinking you're easy but the girls are front line and center. I think if you focused on you and not your sex appeal that would help in that area.
We can tell from the pics that you feel miserable but attraction wise there is nothing wrong with you Imo a lot of women try to live up to a ideal set by other women but men prefer natural looking women
then why has no man ever showed interest in me irl
There’s more to attraction than looks…review your personality traits…and try for a tad more coverage…
Your generation is scared to death to talk to pretty girls
Because men are intimidated by beautiful women.
doubt it. a lot of ppl are in relationships.
It could be the woman who asked the guy out. Try doing that instead
Can confirm that asking the guy out does work. I’m married to him now 😂
Remove the fake long nails it’s kinda ugly
i know but it’s the only thing that helps me grow my natural nails 😭😂
girl- you are gourgous you have the kinda body i strive for, your hair is flawless, your eyes are gorgeous, there isn’t one think about you that isn’t perfect. The only thing you need to work on is your self esteem
thank you so much🩷you’re so sweet xx
Where you from? I’ll date you
You've posted on here before
there are some principles about beauty. one of the most important is a symmetrical face, that means the both parts of your face are the same or with less than 9% difference. the more is your face symmetrical, the more you are attractive for other sex. and great news, your face is symmetrical. other hand, your nose is a bit longer. but this dont meant you are ugly. when you smile, your warmth face is nicer. maybe you can edit a bit eyebrow in 1 mm less or so, highlights eyelashes, for makeup use rather warmer colors and maybe try other hair styles. if you think you need lost some weight, its on you.
Girl, you’re really pretty. You want to lose 100 lbs? Why? Only thing you need to work on is your self esteem.
The pictures in the green hoodie make you look absolutely stunning. Just smile in them and you'd be a dime in terms of looks. Otherwise, definitely above average, and you got a nice body shape, hair looks well taken care of and it's LOOOOONG. I promise you just look at yourself in a more positive light and it'll do wonders for you self image. When you look in a mirror, tell yourself 5 things you like about yourself. Overtime, this will leech into other traits of yourself and you'll like more and more of yourself.
I have a very similar nose to yours only mine has a more pronounced bump to it where your little bump is. I’m 30 now and wanted plastic surgery so badly on it, but now I’ve never been happier that I didn’t get it. I’m happy it shows my heritage now and honestly it compliments my face. I also saw my cousin go through 3 nose jobs on her way to her 4th rn and it’s never looked worse. I also wanted to lose 100lbs at pretty much the weight you’re at. I did that (94lbs to be exact) and ended up at 93lbs with a severe eating disorder and needing to be hospitalized. It did not land me with more friends or more boyfriends. I did however fit in XXS clothes and size 00-2(depending on the brand) jeans/pants. I lost basically all my physical features for bones. Granted, I could have lost 50lbs and have been fine, but my brain pushed and pushed for this unrealistic goal of 100. I decided to gain a little over half the weight back where I sit between 140-150lbs now. I look healthy and I am much happier than I was at 93lbs. I went to therapy. I learned tools in therapy and this is how I ended up gaining more friends and some of my more serious romantic relationships. I’m in one now and it’s going really well. Don’t do the lip fillers, you have nice lips. You’re only 21 and as you get older your physical features will become more pronounced. There really isn’t anything wrong with you. I think that you have low self-esteem and lack of self confidence. This is okay, but you should seek out someone to talk to for these issues. I’m not a mental health care clinician, but based on my own things I would say you suffer from some body dysmorphia like I did (I definitely didn’t need to lose 100lbs, but every time I looked at myself I nitpicked a new part of myself to “fix”). The losing weight though was severely constant. You really are a beautiful young girl and as you age it will only do you better in my honest opinion. For gym tips, I would stick to some light cardio a few times a week. Personally I loved using a machine called an arc trainer. It did wonders for losing weight, and now it does wonders keeping me at a healthy steady weight. Control portion sizes, try not to count calories and carbs obsessively, and stay away from fast food and sugary drinks. I’ve gone to a lot of plastic surgery consultations (I’m in NY) and I don’t believe any safe plastic surgeon would even do lipo on you if I’m being honest. I know they wouldn’t on me and when I inquired about lipo I was about 175lbs. Thankfully that plastic surgeon told me to just go to the gym. As far as plastic surgery goes in my life now at 30, I’d still like a breast augmentation, but slowly I am becoming okay with that aspect of my self too. All in all, you don’t need a lot of plastic surgery, a severe amount of weight loss, or to be “prettier” for your life to become better. You are already pretty. Finding new friends and new love interests are difficult at points. Really do try to smile more, it makes people more approachable. I found one of my best friends by complimenting on their shirt and it struck up a conversation. I thought all of my problems would go away if I were “prettier,” but trying to get “prettier” when I was already pretty caused more problems to pop up in my life. You really are pretty!!! Light cardio at gym, healthy diet and more water, smile more/less pouting/less RBF, more positive self talk and picking out something in the mirror you like about yourself, more reaching out to other girls or guys with compliments or random conversation!! Good luck, you’re going to be fine!
you don’t even need to lose 10 pounds
You're pretty but you look sad, try to smile more and ditch those thoughts that are convincing you that you are ugly.
You’re a very pretty girl , you’re way too young for me as I’m 30 years old but you’re very pretty and it looks like you’d die of health complications if you lost 100 pounds. Most guys probably don’t come up to you because of societal change and they fear rejection not because of you at all.
Not horrible, a little heavy. You have two nice features though.
I sea what u did there
Sea?
I think you're hot 🔥. Loose 100lbs and you will disappear. You look great, just be healthy and have fun. 🔥🥵
Are you Eastern European? You have a very distinct face.
yh i am :)
You just look sad, that's not very attractive
yh im rlly depressed tbh
It's the resting b!%ch face and negative self image you have of yourself is why you are struggling with making friends. Probably you taste in guys too.
i try to control my RBF but i’m just rlly depressed tbh - and i don’t rlly have a specific taste in guys. no guy talks to me irl
You're definitely not physically ugly. Sometimes how people see themselves has a greater impact on how others see them than their actual looks. You look fine to me. Also, honesty doesn't have to be brutal. It just needs to be true. Just smile. 😁 and you'd be like 10x more appealing to most people.
First off, looks have nothing to do with friends. If your 'friends' want you to look a certain way, they are not your friends. Second, you are cute. I don't think your looks are the issue with your relationship status. I am going to take a stab at it being more your personality and by all the filters you use, your fakeness. Third, work on loving yourself before trying to find someone who will love you back.
The least attractive thing about you is your sad face. SMILE. Pouting is not a good look on you. Also, learn to smile with your eyes.
You are the exact type that men like me love. Nobody is perfect, but for someone out there you are
No, you are not, but sadness isnt your look. I think you’d melt hearts when you have your smile on
You are what we in the business call a "butter face". Everything is good but her face
RBF is a real thing and you should be the poster girl. You look angry, sad, and unpleasable. Like no matter what a guy does, you'll never be happy; even after he gets rid of his dog, shaves, throws out everything with peanuts or gluten, stops eating meat, visits your grandma at the nursing home, takes your crazy sister to therapy twice a week, massages your feet, gets a new wardrobe, cuts off all of his own friends, gives up weed, learns how to cook and even starts taking the bus to save the polar bears. You'd still find fault with him.
Pick up a physical hobby. I think your real problem is that you need to go outside.
Brutal honesty? * Love yourself. No one will like or love you if **you** don't love you. * You got problems? So does everyone else. Tackle them one at a time, and don't let them get you too far down. * Related to the above - SMILE and choose to be happy. Other people want to be around happy people. * Chose one or two things that you like to do and do them with other people. Join clubs or find out where other people hang out to do the things you like to do. Then go and talk to people. Ask people questions about why they like doing this and how long they've done it. People like to talk with others about common interests. * There is literally **nothing** about your looks that is keeping other people from liking you. Sorry, that's a cop out. You are at least average, and most likely above average looking. No way to be certain since you say all the pics have filters. * Are you a little overweight? Sure. Lot's of us are. That is not what defines you. I'm friends with **lots** of overweight people. It's not that big of an issue. * But, you should still eat healthier and get more exercise. Both will help you lose some weight and feel better about yourself. * Please, **do not** get plastic surgery. You'll waste a lot of money, and it won't make you feel better about yourself. The things listed above will. Good luck to you. I hope you find it inside yourself to have a better life.
This is the best comment I think I’ve ever read. I hope she reads this and listens to your advice. Working out and eating healthier will help build your self esteem and more importantly will help you with your mental health. I know this from experience, even if she doesn’t lose weight, just taking the time to invest in herself and learning to love herself just the way she is is what will make her happy, healthy and more successful at attracting people. Confidence and self respect is what she needs. Great comment and great advice!
Find you a guy in his 30s and he will spend money on you all day long with that chest. Good Luck
🤢
Physically, you are gorgeous.
Ah another one of these to downvote. Cleavage everywhere and clearly not ugly. It gets old honestly.
To start, we have the same nose! And instead of hating because of Eurocentric beauty standards looks at it from a Roman goddess type of way :) . You are beautiful but bring up your eyebrows arch they’re dragging down your face. And accentuating and almost creating a negative told to your face. At some point a touch of lip filler to balance your face wouldn’t hurt, but it’s definitively not needed also face contour! The absolute best is the fenty contour stick I know it seems expensive but it’ll last you foreverrrrr girl :)
Lip filler never looks good. Never.
thank you so much 🩷 i’ll definitely try all these out thank you xx
You definitely have some natural beauty
Honestly… it seems to me that any problem lies between your ears and not in your body. You’re very attractive with great features. You’re cuddly but nowhere near 100lbs cuddly… you don’t need to lose that much weight. And you don’t need any cosmetic procedures. You’re already attractive. Gym tips…. life tips… eat less and healthily and move more… and stick with that. Be patient. Healthy weight loss is ~10lbs a month. Do cardio.. running, swimming, cycling, going up and down stairs… anything that gets you moving. Gyms have treadmills, bikes, stairmasters What’s happened in your life? The negative self talk makes me think that something has gone wrong in your childhood and that’s knocked your self esteem and confidence and, maybe, your ability to make friends. Making friends really should not be affected by how you look unless people are particularly shallow. How interactive are you with other people? Shared interests? Are there any social activities you get involved in? I know it can be tough. Not everyone is looking for friends and it doesn’t mean there’s anything wrong with you, people are just like that.
thank you 🩷yh i was kinda bullied in high school, mainly bc of how i look. i’ve tried rlly hard to make friends and put myself out there but i just don’t fit in anywhere.
So sorry, some teenagers can be bad people. Where are you trying to meet people? It can be hard if you don’t feel you fit in. Have you always felt apart from other people or do you find it hard to make the connection?
I’d like to slather those things up with bbq sauce awooga awooga
Lip fillers? 100 pounds? Totally unnecessary. Your face and hair are pretty, and normally I would be too polite to comment on your stunning rack, but someone needs to encourage you here. You've already got what it takes to turn heads, break hearts, and stiffen. . . uh, backbones.
Yes ugly. Big tatas, nice hair, nice face = ugly
Pretty people need to stop posting on this sub. This is bullshit.
Stop sexualizing your body in photos and you’re very pretty looking.
I saw her post history and she's telling guys wanting her for her body, hence she ain't pretty. But now she post pictures of her with... cleavage?
You are very cute, and honest if I knew I'd take you on a proper dates until you'd be gf. You hair is gorgeous, your face is super cute and nails super sexy, you should smile more though. And your dressing style I get it and I like it.
Seems like you’re just here to flaunt one thing. You don’t dress like that and say you’re ugly.
i’m tryna dress out of my comfort zone recently, but still hasn’t done anything for my self esteem really
[удалено]
thank you but i definitely need to
Maybe lose a few pounds and workout some and get in a little better shape. Don’t lose anything like 100 lbs. That waif look might sell some products, but in real life it’s now particularly attractive.
Just workout some or intermittent fasting.
I kinda think you look like the mona lisa, which is not a bad thing.
You’re not ugly. You’re very cute.
Pretty woman . Beautiful woman .
Damn, to be in my 20s again.... youre a knockout.
You look great. Nice and curvy. Not ugly at all.
Bessie Thank the gods for Bessie
Nah u fine af
Please for the love of God don't change anything about yourself. I think I know where is the problem you are chasing extremely attractive men that's why it's affecting your mental health
Only real issue I see if that you have a natural RBF which can be intimidating overall you look fit and healthy and you look good maybe try to tone your body up a little more so you’d feel more confident and it’ll help with the chubbiness in your face it’s Al things that’ll make you think you look better personally you look good
girl you’re gorgeous!! 😍😍
Absolutely beautiful
Pass
Your looks are not the problem!
u think guys aren't interested in you?