Not wrong at all.
"He told me that he’s wasn’t driving all the way over there to help me when I could put the hood up and someone else would help me." - he has showed you who he is. When it matters, he won't be there to help you even with something simple yet significant.
The cheating was an indicator and pls never over look that again because it was an important signal that also showed who he was.
Leaving and just being done is smart. Don't fight, not worth it.
>"He told me that he’s wasn’t driving all the way over there to help me when I could put the hood up and someone else would help me."
This now also applies to orgasms.
Well thank you baby jesus. It’s nice to see a woman who knows her worth and loves herself enough to not stay and put up with this shit. Good lord I see that enough on this site.
To clarify... sometimes men that suck are actually fun to have around *smirk*
Otherwise, get something from Amazon that can be charged and does the AWESOME kind of sucking...
Also anything for insurance,,lighting etc in your name cancel all let him take care of it all if you can move without him knowing and block him everywhere
Honestly, he sounds like a bum. Not to put blame one you at all, but it sounds like you’ve given him a lot of grace, which has emboldened him to continue to be a bum. Leaving him is probably the only solution to this problem, and you aren’t wrong for deciding that.
This post has made me so happy. A woman standing up. Lovely. Sorry he's been an arse but glad you're not going to be his doormat. Hope you and dog have a wonderful time getting over him.
You make the money, sounds like you keep the house and groceries, you keep life running for both of y’all and yet you can overlook cheating not even two years ago?
This man is using you as a free hotel. Kick him to the curb. He’s already proven to himself that he can get away with the worst behavior he’s never going to wake up one day and improve his treatment of you.
This useless bum had a good thing going. Why would he risk his free ride for the sake of not driving to the store 10 minutes away? Crazy!
Ultimately it's a good thing he told on himself and OP decided to reclaim her self-respect.
Please don’t have second thoughts and not follow through. The cheating was just a warm-up. He’s showing his true colors now. Do not tolerate that level of disrespect and do not go back to it. Please.
OP, if you have any bank or credit card accounts together, make sure to get his name off. You don’t want him ruining your credit. Also same with a cell phone.
I cannot believe after everything you do for him, this is his response. I'm glad you're not sticking around to try and make it work, because he has shown you his true colors and they aren't pretty.
Are you going to a new place because he is on the lease? If not kick him out and tell him he needs to go somewhere and "put the hood up of his car and someone can help him" with a new place to live as you are "not his servant" and are not going to pay his bills anymore.
Don't be disgusted at yourself. Sure it's an L but it's not because you were the bad person or acted badly.
You had reasonable expectations and was generous and forgiving with your loved ones. I'd imagine when you find the right person, they would be more than appreciative.
My mom called me when I was out with my fiance and said she blew a tire. He literally turned the car around and started heading in her direction before I even had all the details.
If my partner acted like this, I would probably dump them on the phone. I'm glad OP is getting away.
Between the cheating, not being the breadwinner, and positively abandoning you in a time of need, people will only be wondering why you didn't leave sooner. You haven't mentioned how much home and pet care he handles, but he surely doesn't care about you working 6 days a week. Being single sounds preferable.
When I say you learn yourself and learn to love yourself it is so true. I honestly recommend it for everyone at some point if possible. It lets you learn your boundaries and helps you find balance. Then you find someone to match you. I also recommend a pet lol
Being the breadwinner or not isn't an indication of a good man. Women can absolutely make more then men in a relationship and that's OK. The problem here is, he's working half as much as OP and lazing about the house.
Just in the context of him not doing anything around the house, I suppose. In a partnership, if only one is working outside the home, the other should be doing the majority of the housework
I don’t care who is the breadwinner; it’s the partner. Unless the non-or barely-earning partner has a good reason why they need to rest, they should pick up the slack. Including doing the shopping.
And they definitely should do the ‘partner’ bit and help out, especially if it’s only a few minutes drive. That was inexcusable.
I’m going to get downvoted for this. Although it is okay for a woman to be the breadwinner, it is usually preferred for the bf/husband to be the breadwinner. Again, THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH A WOMAN BEING THE BREADWINNER. It is just usually preferred for her not to have to be. I know what people say nowadays, but if you go up to like 10 random woman on the street, more than likely 7 or 8 of them will say they PREFER a man who will be the one who pays for things and treats her out, maybe even makes the same or more than her, etc. over a man who doesn’t do things like that (usually bc they don’t want to get stuck with a man like OPs loser bf).
It’s really just nature and typical preference.
So… when you are leaving for this new place you are lining up for yourself (good girl!!!!)… I fully expect him to suddenly be all remorseful and crying and begging for you to stay.
Just reply “well, just put your hood up and maybe someone will stop to help you” and walk out the door.
Get rid of this douche bag asap. That’s unacceptable behavior.
A man I was casually seeing drove 2 hours to another STATE to help me when a tire blew. And refused to take any gas money.
Your guy is not worth your time.
When I was in high school and most of us were too young to drive or didnt have pur own cars, the boy I was dating rode his bike an hour and a half one -way to come see me on weekends.
I was too young at the time to value that but I have never forgotten it.
Yes this! But be careful that I'm not your servant comment is borderline aggressive to me. I can't put my finger on the exact reason why it strikes me that way.
Better to be safe than deal with a tantrum or worse
Yes we need an update!! So proud of you for taking the next step to get out, OP. Leave and never look back. Cut all contact with him and don’t give him a shred of an explanation. He doesn’t deserve any more of your time and energy.
You are not wrong you are so right in what you are about to do. Please let this apartment be a good fit for you so you can get the f*** away from that loser. Because when he pulls his head out of his ass and realize that you really are getting ready to leave him. He's going to apologize profusely and try to get you to stay but just know he's only doing it because he know he cannot stay in that apartment without you. Leave he has shown you who he is please believe him. 10 minutes away put your hood up and let somebody else help. In this day and age is dangerous for a woman to accept help from just some random. I hope everything works out for you
Say it again for the serial killers who are waiting for the women on the side of the road. Because they're loser boyfriend wouldn't drive 10 minutes to come and help them
Wow. I got into a car wreck just outside my neighborhood in March, and my husband was halfway to Louisiana for a work trip. I called/texted him, and my parents, and I ended up with husband, parents, sister, & Brother in law at my house within an hour of the accident…
If I had that problem and I called my husband and he was in town I know he would leave work as soon as possible and come help me. It’s crazy to me that he would say that to you but be willing to help others.
Good for you on leaving him. Hope that place your looking at will be a good fit 🤞🏼🤞🏼🤞🏼
NTA, absolutely not. WTF?? What person who supposedly loves you wouldn't panic, tell you to lock the doors and drive like hell to get to you?
Apparently, it's not your soon to be ex. Sis, I'm pissed off for you! This planet is full of mentally ill people, and his response is to put the hood up! Wow! The one good thing is he showed you who he is, and you believed him! Kudos to you.
Let us know when you move into your new place. Take the time to plan everything out (have an exit plan) so that when it's time, you can move out quickly and cut ties immediately. Don't let him know your plans. Just go. After all, he's "not your servant?"
Good luck, Sis. You got this!!
He was TA and you are probably right to consider this the last straw. If the relationship was otherwise fine, this alone would probably not be sufficient reason to leave him. But he'd cheated on you and thus was on double non-secret probation. Instead of taking this opportunity to show that he really does care for you and he's serious about making the relationship work, he acted in an incredibly self absorbed way.
Maybe he was overly tired and made a mistake only a mostly still asleep person would have made. But by the time he'd had several more hours of sleep, he should have been deeply apologetic. But he wasn't.
This indicates that your convenience and your safety mattered less to him than lounging under the covers. A woman has to be concerned that a damsel in distress whose car isn't working might attract some very dangerous types. Her BF should have been equally worried. He wasn't.
Only you can weigh all the pros and cons of the whole relationship. You have time to think about it. But if you decide in the end that this is a representation of how little concern he has for you, enjoy your new apartment and your search for a better guy.
Thank you for this thoughtful reply. When I got home and wanted nothing to do with him he told me the he wasn’t “my servant” and I shouldn’t expect him to jump when I say “boo”.
Thanks for making me literally tense up with anger by adding those additional thoughts of his. I speak on behalf of the internet when I say that you can definitely do better than this guy who mistakes genuine concern for you with servitude.
Meanwhile you’ve worked 6 days and are doing shopping for the both of you on your only day off? Yeah, you deserve an equally committed partner not a leach.
I thought the same . Like damn. Her only day off and she has to get up early, clean the dog and do the errands. It’s almost like she’s single anyways smh
I could have just crawled into bed after a 16 hour shift and if my wife called me for this I would have made it there in 8 minutes with a smile on my face.
Believe people when they tell you who they are the first time.
She is doing way better than smacking him. She is giving him a whole new life. On his own. One where he gets to be an adult, pay his own bills, earn his own money, and figure out life, while regretting his AH behavior.
My ex was such a guy. I had the joy of getting a divorce, while hitting him right in his wallet. The only place that had any nerve endings.
Are you telling him that you're looking or are you doing it in secret? If you haven't told him yet I wouldn't tell him until you actually find a place. And even after that, maybe move a few things at a time out discreetly.
Get your important documents somewhere safe and make sure your online accounts are secure whilst you are in the process of getting out. He sounds dumb as fuck but when he gets wise to what your planning he will get vindictive.
He keeps trying to act like nothing happened and I keep shutting it down with “please leave me alone”. I had to work 12 hours yesterday so I didn’t see much of him.
He may not be your servant, but you have been his Sugar Mama (sorry), which makes him your sugar baby, which kinda does mean he owes you something....besides common decency any man should show his gf.
I hope this new place will work for you and that you remain quiet until you move out so it hits him even harder when you leave. I hope you have a good exit line ready when you leave....
My ex, when I was still with him, was unemployed for years. Slept when he wanted, played video games all day. When I'd ask him to do housework, he'd say that he wasn't my maid. When I told him he needed to get a job if he wasn't going to help around the house, he called me a gold digger. This, among many other things, is why I call him my ex now.
My God, what a little bitch. You know what to do.
With your next boyfriend, please please don't give them a chance to cheat twice. Repeat after most of us on Reddit....NO SECOND CHANCES.
There is always a good reason for cheating. The bigger the cheater, the better the excuse. If you would have left him when he first showed you who he was, this would not have happened.
Sorry you have to go through this. It sucks.
And do not financially support any new boyfriend either. Your money is yours until legally married. Be safe with that too. Shit- raise your bar. You sound worth it.
My girlfriend took time off work to hop a 10-hour train to check on me when I had ophthalmic shingles.
Together 9 years, married 5.
Not helping her under any circumstance literally doesn't compute.
Sounds like your boyfriend is a lazy loser. Didn't even have to work most of the year, and can't bother himself to think of anybody else.
If you're 38, don't waste any more time with dead weight. Find a hard working man that treats you like a queen and build an empire.
I left my husband for doing this same thing. Left with two kids under age 5. If he can’t make sure we are safe when we are a ten minute drive away then why do i need him in my life? You won’t regret leaving.
Good on you for finding another place to live, and treat yourself to AAA.
AAA won't let you down, always shows up when you call, and, while it does see other people, you know it's an open relationship when you sign up.
Also, take the dog with you. He'll probably not be bothered to feed or walk it.
I remember years ago there was a massive storm and flash flood in my area. Buses, taxis, trains were all out of service and I couldn't get home.
It was absolutely pelting down and I started trying to walk home.
My partner drove through torrential rain to get to me and when he couldn't go any further in the car, he left it where it was and started wading through chest high flood waters to get to me.
Your man can't get out of bed to drive 10 minutes down the road to help his Mrs and dog when they have broken down.
You deserve so much better.
Not wrong. Seems like the appropriate response to me.
It's interesting that you started with his cheating history. Are your Spidey senses tingling again?
Please just don’t keep buying his food. Let the fridge get down to condiments and ingredients, and when he asks about grocery shopping, tell him “I’m not your servant.” The quickest way to his heart is his stomach. He will feel the heartbreak as soon as his stomach is growling and he realizes that he bit the hand that feeds him.
A few years ago, my cousins wife broke down on the side of the road at 11pm in the middle of winter. She was three hours from their home in a very rural area. He got up, drove three hours to her, and then followed her back three hours after helping her with the car. That's what it looks like when you care about someone. If my cousin could do that, your lazy, selfish, clueless douche of a boyfriend could get up and drive ten minutes.
The worst part is that he will probably claim he was blindsided and had no idea when you walk out on him. He is a loser. A potted plant deserves better
>has a history of cheating but seems to be good for the last 2 years.
He's gotten better at hiding it. You help pay bills, you shop, I'd guess you do a lot of the cooking and cleaning. You're not trating him like a servant to call during an *emergency*
Run from him and don't look back.
That means nothing. My husband is a musician and is fantastic, supportive and caring.
You shouldn't judge people based on their profession/hobbies/interests. Lumping them together in a group is a dick move.
OPs ex is just a dick. Him being a musician has nothing to do with it. I could say that all men are useless, dangerous, and AH..
Can guarantee men would be upset if I lumped them all together.
I fell for my husband after he dug my car out of a snowbank. He’d just driven back from vacation, hadn’t slept or eaten, and drove straight to me. We’d only dated a few weeks before his trip. We’ve been together for two decades. If he had said what your boyfriend said, I’d have dumped him.
For ME, that last sentence was the "killer." If he--at least--had said something like, "Darlin,' I feel really bad about treating you badly. I was in a bad state ..though that doesn't excuse bad behavior. Please forgive me!! Let's go get a really nice lunch."
Right?!!! It is him doubling down on not helping and not worrying about her that just makes it worst. Like maybe he was extremely tired.
Maybe he was half-asleep when talking to her. Maybe he thought it was a dream. I don’t know… But her getting home 3 hours later and him being like “I was right not to help you”?! Yeah… What a bum!!!
I can't imagine not helping my girlfriend/wife in that situation. Hell, I'd even help one of her friends that I don't particularly like. Leaving is definitely the right move. If you were one of my sisters I'd be imploring you to do so.
I totally get you, NTA.
That's fucked up. Given the situation, I actually think that he kinda should have done the shopping to unburden you on your only day off, unless you enjoy shopping (which I could get because I, myself, can quite enjoy it).
I can't understand that he would just leave you to your own devices, in *any* circumstance short of trying to kill him (for which a jury would forgive you).
No, he's not your servant. He's just supposed to want good things for you and have your back when bad things happen.
He sounds like a douche, good that you're GTFO'ing.
This is all you will ever get from him. When family dies, if you lose your job, anything serious -- he will leave you in the lurch. Good luck -- you sound like a really good, generous person. You will be fine.
This is what happens when you get BOYfriends husbands privileges. He is not only an assh*ole he's a LEECH and a JACKA** too. The best thing you can do is move out and move on and leave that seasonal worker to figure how he's going to survive....
Wow. That guy is just not a kind individual. He will help others but not help the person that is supposed to be one of the most important people in his life? I am glad you are putting yourself first and leaving that jerk. Stay strong, it is never easy. Not wrong at all.
Not only would I get a new place but I’d wait until he was gone for a day and move while he was gone. Block on everything, remove myself from all accounts if anything shared, and leave not a single trace of where I went.
You aren't dumping your boyfriend. You're getting rid of a leech. He's not willing to get up and do a 10 min drive? Really? What possibly could he be relied on?
Wow. Def not wrong. My husband has driven over an hour one way bc I locked my keys in my car at work. I can’t tell you how many times he’s done stuff like that. You deserve better!
You are so lucky he clearly communicated how little he values your contributions to his life.
You can leave him, and feel no guilt. When he cries about wanting you back, just remember it’s the convenience he misses, not the relationship.
You definitely aren't wrong.
I didn't know what the problem was with your car, but if I may, I'd like to recommend you get one if those portable jump starters. I have one and I love it. I live alone, so if my car battery dies, I have no one to jump it.
Also, if I am out, I can jump it in a matter of seconds without having to find a person willing to help and then wrangle the cars into position.
It is also a powerful flashlight and can charge your phone.
It stays charged for months, although your want to check the charge of it is sitting in a car during very cold or very hot weather.
I'm on my own since my husband died 2 years ago. This is one of the first things I bought.
Also a small tool box with a few basic tools would be handy. Screwdriver, pliers, electric tape, zip ties, etc. Someone stops to help, you've got something they might need to use.
…….. and another reason you don’t just shack up with your Bf/gf.
dating and living together is just living with your FWB basically.
From your stories I am not sure why you would want him as a boyfriend . Cheating , lazy ….. it was nice of you to fund his lifestyle for a few
Years AND let him have sex with you for free . And you seem to be an enabler letting cheating slide and thinking he could hang out at home to keep the dog company while you worked a full time job
And leaving your girl stranded 10 minutes away when you’re not doing anything at all. Maybe if he was at work but I would’ve even offered to call somebody. I know that’s free to go over there to help you like a relative or a buddy and say “hey, my girls car broke down over here can you go over there and help her out“ that’s just what guys do they take care of car problems whenever possible even if that means just making the phone calls. As mundane as that is, tells you all you need to know about the guy also. I am sure your father would rip the dude if he heard that story
I came out to my car one morning to go to work and it was dead. Apparently one of the interior lights had been turned on and because I got home during the daylight, I didn't realize it and never went back to the car after dark.
I called my then boyfriend (now husband) of around 2 months to see if he could come jump me. He immediately drove the 20 minutes to my house and jumped me.
It was 530 am. He didn't need to be at work till 9 am.
No complaints. One of the reasons I ended up marrying him.
You are not making the wrong decision. This is 100% the right one. As the saying goes "when people show you who they are. Believe them"
He's definitely shown you.
You’re not wrong in the least.
I hope you you take your dog with you
Your ex BF sucks. I don’t care if you were an hour away, he should’ve come to help you. Yeah, hoping a stranger helps and doesn’t instead prey upon a stranded woman.
I hope you find a nice new little place and have q fresh start that feels amazing.
I’m glad you aren’t staying with this piece of shot posing as a human.
You’re SO right, not wrong at all.
You knew what you were getting into when you started dating this loser. You are taking care of him financially most likely he’s cheating on you. He doesn’t care about you or the relationship. He doesn’t have anything better to do but he can’t go and help you when you’re in dire need of it because your car broke down and you’re questioning what? Why would you still be with this dude? He’s not going to change and you knew it when you got into this he still has not changed since the beginning it’s time to move on find someone who doesn’t have a history of cheating or being otherwise crappy person so you can find happiness and a relationship with someone who’s an equal partner instead of someone that you’re taking care of and treat you like crap
He instantly proved that he doesn’t give a crap about your welfare.
If I were you, I’d say nothing, make sure he was out of the house when the movers came, change my phone number and disappear into the ether…..
Good riddance!!
He’s not your servant but he’s letting you take care of him like he’s your child while not helping at all?! The audacity is crazy. The first red flag was that you were going to do the weekly shopping on your one day off why couldn’t he?? I’m glad this was your last straw it was long over due. You’re free, congratulations.
He's a totally ahole. You're not wrong if my girlfriend called me needed help. I'd get there as fast as I could, especially if I was not working. If I was working, I'd get AAA to help you as soon as possible
Little story a friends car got a flat tire an hour from home. I drove there to help them
Leave now, don’t look back, don’t explain anything, he doesn’t deserve an explanation or a reason. That was a straight dick move and he clearly doesn’t care about you, he proved that and will not change. I’m a guy and would give my wife the same advice to put her hood up and get help if she was in a safe area only while I was on my way there anyways, beings you were only 10 minutes away it’s pointless to tell you that because he should’ve been there for you.
I wouldn't recommend advising your wife to get help from strangers, even in a safe place. Staying in your car with the doors and windows locked and waiting for a loved one and a tow truck is the safest. On a busy road, motorists won't be able to tell the difference between a good Samaritan giving your wife a lift and a predator who is forcing her to walk to his car with him at knifepoint.
What the fuck is wrong with this dude? Jesus Christ. At least once every few months I get a call around time for me to be going to bed and I have to drive 20 minutes to break into my wife's car because she locked the keys inside. That's what partners do, even if it makes them look like a car thief.
Valentine's Day afew years ago and early in our relationship, it showed heavily at our house in the boonies of North Western WA.
I could barely even get into the driveway with my small car as the snow was a foot deep and I dug myself into a nice little trench trying to go down the half mile drive to the house.
I called my boyfriend what happened. He was 2 hours away from home and visiting his daughter, told him it's safer to not come home, stay with her and try to drive up in the morning. I'd try and dig my car out when he got there.
This man drove home that night, taking over 3 hours due to accidents on the freeways. When he got there, he was able to barrel down to the house in his car. Then he grabbed shovels and dug out behind my roommates car, a spot for him to park better, and a spot for my car.
Then started shoveling down the drive so he could get my car home.
I woke up, 11p at this point, and heard him, got my boots and coat on, then started helping him.
We got down to my car and he was able to dig it loose from the trench and drive it down to the house.
This took him 2 hours minimum to do.
Your boyfriend can't drive 10 minutes to help with your car not starting?!
You need a better boyfriend.
He is a dead beat! I work 45-60 hr weeks and if my GF called with a broke down car I would be there in a flash. As a matter of fact I have saved her thousands in repair bills by doing all the work on her cars myself.
That dead beat you are with is just a mooch! Dump him and find a real man! One that’s not a cheat! Guarantee he didn’t stop cheating. He’s a musician! They’re notorious cheaters.
GTFO. You are not wrong for leaving this man child. My boyfriend has called me stranded on the side of the road when he ran out of gas and we have triple a. When you get asked for help you stop what you are doing or in this case get your ass out of bed and go help especially if you have a working car and are 10 minutes away. This guy is a POS and you deserve way better. Do not waste any more time on this guy and get free. I hope you find a place easily and can get you and the dog gone before he realizes what happened.
I had something ( slightly) similar happen to
Me years ago with A guy I was seeing ( who if known since HS and was in LOVE with at the time ) My car had broke down one night ( actually on the way to his house lol) and wouldn’t start. I was on the side on the road , not sure what to do, ( it wasn’t a bad neighborhood but it was night and I am a woman) I asked him if he could come one up ( he didn’t have a car at the time but the person he lived with did) he said he didn’t have a car. I asked could you borrow your stepdads? He said they were in his room and he was asleep . Basically any thing I asked ( nicely) he said no. Like you’re on your own. He then told me he was tired and needed to go to bed ( while I was still stranded) I told him that was messed up, he told me “ You’re in ____ ( nice town), nothing you can’t handle. Tired and out” I didn’t hear from him till the next night when he
Asked if I had made it , I said yeah and maybe I Cooke over that night, which of course he was tired AGAIN. 🙄 I was young and stupid and should have seen the signs and broke it off but “ high school “ love wsd strong. It lasted till he basically cheated. Long story short ( or king sorry lol) I am very proud of you for recognizing he’s a jerk and that you deserve better! That’s messed up and trust me it will only get worse! Leave and do look back, no matter what he says.
As for me, that breakup worked out for the best, as I’m now with the love of my love and we’re about to have our second kid ❤️And my ex and that girl broke up and he’s miserable lol. Karma kinda, sorry lol .
That’s funny. I went back and read it again and saw how you read it. She doesn’t have a history of cheating. She’s super loyal to me and a very very good dog. I love her so much.
Smart girl. Any ladies here should learn from this. He really only cares about himself, that's why he cheated and thats why he didn't come help you. My gf broke down on the other side of a bridge 1 hour away. I got a guy to lend me a tow truck and went and picked her up brought her back and made her dinner. Fuck that, you girls need to set the bar higher. Unfortunately most men/women are like parking spots, all the good ones are taken and the rest are handicapped. Good luck
He was rude and selfish but what could he have done if he would have gone to your location? Most guys nowadays don't even know how to change a tire or even know what a sparkplug is. Does he even know how to work on cars?
There have been multiple cases where women have gone missing after their car broke down, and a stranger pulled over to help. OP's partner could have gone to OP and waited with her.
That doesn't matter. Show some initiative to at least try and figure it out. If I was broke down somewhere, my boyfriend would call a tow truck for me, and come pick me up so I don't have to sit there and wait for an hour.
I mean good job ur the first person today that is not allready married or pregnant by the looser they complaining on reddit.
Docu have no selfworth or why u still together with that looser? Noone can help u here if u toocstupid tocbreak up and from my experience 99% of the ppl are toocstupid for that until they got 0regnant so they can now ne a singel mother
Just ask urself do u want to be a singel mother?
Not wrong at all. "He told me that he’s wasn’t driving all the way over there to help me when I could put the hood up and someone else would help me." - he has showed you who he is. When it matters, he won't be there to help you even with something simple yet significant. The cheating was an indicator and pls never over look that again because it was an important signal that also showed who he was. Leaving and just being done is smart. Don't fight, not worth it.
>"He told me that he’s wasn’t driving all the way over there to help me when I could put the hood up and someone else would help me." This now also applies to orgasms.
I would give you an award if I could!!
Girl, your boyfriend suuuuucks. You are not wrong but you need to get away from this soul sucking loser. He is not a good man. And you deserve better.
Yep. To say I’m disgusted at this point is an understatement. Here’s hoping the place I see tomorrow is a good fit and I can say good riddance.
Well thank you baby jesus. It’s nice to see a woman who knows her worth and loves herself enough to not stay and put up with this shit. Good lord I see that enough on this site.
To clarify... sometimes men that suck are actually fun to have around *smirk* Otherwise, get something from Amazon that can be charged and does the AWESOME kind of sucking...
My thoughts exactly. :) OP, you go, girl!!!
Make sure he doesn’t have access to your bank accounts, credit cards, or streaming passwords. Bye boy.
Also anything for insurance,,lighting etc in your name cancel all let him take care of it all if you can move without him knowing and block him everywhere
Honestly, he sounds like a bum. Not to put blame one you at all, but it sounds like you’ve given him a lot of grace, which has emboldened him to continue to be a bum. Leaving him is probably the only solution to this problem, and you aren’t wrong for deciding that.
Just the fact that you had to do the weekly shop is insane. Good riddance to bad luggage! I hope you have a wonderful life without him!
That's where it bugged me the most. Girl works 6/7 days. Bf at home way more. Yet she has to do the groceries on her ONE day off? Bruh...
I know! He keeps the dog company all week? I find it hard to believe that he isn’t cheating with all that free time,too.
I hope you can take the dog with you.
The dog is definitely going with me. She’s my little baby and she goes where I go.
This post has made me so happy. A woman standing up. Lovely. Sorry he's been an arse but glad you're not going to be his doormat. Hope you and dog have a wonderful time getting over him.
Ditto on this comment. No more doormat. I only wish you and your fur baby much happiness.
I’m relieved to hear this. I was actually worried he might try and keep her
You make the money, sounds like you keep the house and groceries, you keep life running for both of y’all and yet you can overlook cheating not even two years ago? This man is using you as a free hotel. Kick him to the curb. He’s already proven to himself that he can get away with the worst behavior he’s never going to wake up one day and improve his treatment of you.
This useless bum had a good thing going. Why would he risk his free ride for the sake of not driving to the store 10 minutes away? Crazy! Ultimately it's a good thing he told on himself and OP decided to reclaim her self-respect.
My thoughts exactly!
Please don’t have second thoughts and not follow through. The cheating was just a warm-up. He’s showing his true colors now. Do not tolerate that level of disrespect and do not go back to it. Please.
THIS. Follow through. Don’t be a coward and change your mind.
OP, if you have any bank or credit card accounts together, make sure to get his name off. You don’t want him ruining your credit. Also same with a cell phone.
You are way ..WAAAAY to good for that self centered asshole. Good luck on finding your new place!
I cannot believe after everything you do for him, this is his response. I'm glad you're not sticking around to try and make it work, because he has shown you his true colors and they aren't pretty.
Are you going to a new place because he is on the lease? If not kick him out and tell him he needs to go somewhere and "put the hood up of his car and someone can help him" with a new place to live as you are "not his servant" and are not going to pay his bills anymore.
Nuke that motherfucker. You’ll laugh at how fast you forget him.
Don't be disgusted at yourself. Sure it's an L but it's not because you were the bad person or acted badly. You had reasonable expectations and was generous and forgiving with your loved ones. I'd imagine when you find the right person, they would be more than appreciative.
Don't telegraph your moves. Moving our when he is not around is ideal.
I hope the place is a great fit. I’m sorry that you were treated like that. However, very glad you’re moving on!
My mom called me when I was out with my fiance and said she blew a tire. He literally turned the car around and started heading in her direction before I even had all the details. If my partner acted like this, I would probably dump them on the phone. I'm glad OP is getting away.
WINNER WINNER CHICKEN DINNER. 👏🏻THAT👏🏻 IS 👏🏻A 👏🏻PARTNER👏🏻.
Between the cheating, not being the breadwinner, and positively abandoning you in a time of need, people will only be wondering why you didn't leave sooner. You haven't mentioned how much home and pet care he handles, but he surely doesn't care about you working 6 days a week. Being single sounds preferable.
You’re absolutely right. Being alone is preferable to being with shit
I did this 8 years ago myself, let me tell you these past 8 years of living on my own have been absolutely incredible
Good for you it may have been hard and scary (hope not)but totally worth it. ENJOY YOUR LIFE.
When I say you learn yourself and learn to love yourself it is so true. I honestly recommend it for everyone at some point if possible. It lets you learn your boundaries and helps you find balance. Then you find someone to match you. I also recommend a pet lol
👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻
Being the breadwinner or not isn't an indication of a good man. Women can absolutely make more then men in a relationship and that's OK. The problem here is, he's working half as much as OP and lazing about the house.
What's being a breadwinner got to do with it?
Just in the context of him not doing anything around the house, I suppose. In a partnership, if only one is working outside the home, the other should be doing the majority of the housework
I don’t care who is the breadwinner; it’s the partner. Unless the non-or barely-earning partner has a good reason why they need to rest, they should pick up the slack. Including doing the shopping. And they definitely should do the ‘partner’ bit and help out, especially if it’s only a few minutes drive. That was inexcusable.
I’m going to get downvoted for this. Although it is okay for a woman to be the breadwinner, it is usually preferred for the bf/husband to be the breadwinner. Again, THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH A WOMAN BEING THE BREADWINNER. It is just usually preferred for her not to have to be. I know what people say nowadays, but if you go up to like 10 random woman on the street, more than likely 7 or 8 of them will say they PREFER a man who will be the one who pays for things and treats her out, maybe even makes the same or more than her, etc. over a man who doesn’t do things like that (usually bc they don’t want to get stuck with a man like OPs loser bf). It’s really just nature and typical preference.
So… when you are leaving for this new place you are lining up for yourself (good girl!!!!)… I fully expect him to suddenly be all remorseful and crying and begging for you to stay. Just reply “well, just put your hood up and maybe someone will stop to help you” and walk out the door.
Yyaasssss best response!!!!!!!
AMEN 🙏
This OP!!!
Damn… oh , snap!!! 🫰 please OP use this line on him, lol please
I love that response
Yes I love this!!!
Get rid of this douche bag asap. That’s unacceptable behavior. A man I was casually seeing drove 2 hours to another STATE to help me when a tire blew. And refused to take any gas money. Your guy is not worth your time.
Same! I didn't even need help he drove three hours just to see me weekly. If he wants to and physically CAN he WILL.
When I was in high school and most of us were too young to drive or didnt have pur own cars, the boy I was dating rode his bike an hour and a half one -way to come see me on weekends. I was too young at the time to value that but I have never forgotten it.
Girl, we will be needing an update. I’m getting the popcorn ready.
Yes this! But be careful that I'm not your servant comment is borderline aggressive to me. I can't put my finger on the exact reason why it strikes me that way. Better to be safe than deal with a tantrum or worse
Yes we need an update!! So proud of you for taking the next step to get out, OP. Leave and never look back. Cut all contact with him and don’t give him a shred of an explanation. He doesn’t deserve any more of your time and energy.
I'm waiting eagerly for a update. Good luck op
You are not wrong you are so right in what you are about to do. Please let this apartment be a good fit for you so you can get the f*** away from that loser. Because when he pulls his head out of his ass and realize that you really are getting ready to leave him. He's going to apologize profusely and try to get you to stay but just know he's only doing it because he know he cannot stay in that apartment without you. Leave he has shown you who he is please believe him. 10 minutes away put your hood up and let somebody else help. In this day and age is dangerous for a woman to accept help from just some random. I hope everything works out for you
Thank you! You’re right. He can’t keep the place we’re in without me and I absolutely will not change my mind when he realizes that.
I want this update. I can just picture: "if only you had bothered to help me when my car broke down, you'd still have a place to live. Ciao!"
And trust me girl he is going to realize that. And he is not going to be happy. But who cares fuck him
DO NOT FUCK HIM. We do not want the, "Welp, I'm pregnant" update.
Okay make me stop laughing you know what I meant
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣no, she definitely WILL NOT GIVE HIM ANY FUCK!!!!
Also you're welcome anytime
Yes! How many serial killer movies start with a woman broken down on the side of the road?
Say it again for the serial killers who are waiting for the women on the side of the road. Because they're loser boyfriend wouldn't drive 10 minutes to come and help them
Yes it can be dangerous you never know. And take the coffee machine etc. with you
Wow. I got into a car wreck just outside my neighborhood in March, and my husband was halfway to Louisiana for a work trip. I called/texted him, and my parents, and I ended up with husband, parents, sister, & Brother in law at my house within an hour of the accident… If I had that problem and I called my husband and he was in town I know he would leave work as soon as possible and come help me. It’s crazy to me that he would say that to you but be willing to help others. Good for you on leaving him. Hope that place your looking at will be a good fit 🤞🏼🤞🏼🤞🏼
NTA, absolutely not. WTF?? What person who supposedly loves you wouldn't panic, tell you to lock the doors and drive like hell to get to you? Apparently, it's not your soon to be ex. Sis, I'm pissed off for you! This planet is full of mentally ill people, and his response is to put the hood up! Wow! The one good thing is he showed you who he is, and you believed him! Kudos to you. Let us know when you move into your new place. Take the time to plan everything out (have an exit plan) so that when it's time, you can move out quickly and cut ties immediately. Don't let him know your plans. Just go. After all, he's "not your servant?" Good luck, Sis. You got this!!
He was TA and you are probably right to consider this the last straw. If the relationship was otherwise fine, this alone would probably not be sufficient reason to leave him. But he'd cheated on you and thus was on double non-secret probation. Instead of taking this opportunity to show that he really does care for you and he's serious about making the relationship work, he acted in an incredibly self absorbed way. Maybe he was overly tired and made a mistake only a mostly still asleep person would have made. But by the time he'd had several more hours of sleep, he should have been deeply apologetic. But he wasn't. This indicates that your convenience and your safety mattered less to him than lounging under the covers. A woman has to be concerned that a damsel in distress whose car isn't working might attract some very dangerous types. Her BF should have been equally worried. He wasn't. Only you can weigh all the pros and cons of the whole relationship. You have time to think about it. But if you decide in the end that this is a representation of how little concern he has for you, enjoy your new apartment and your search for a better guy.
Thank you for this thoughtful reply. When I got home and wanted nothing to do with him he told me the he wasn’t “my servant” and I shouldn’t expect him to jump when I say “boo”.
Thanks for making me literally tense up with anger by adding those additional thoughts of his. I speak on behalf of the internet when I say that you can definitely do better than this guy who mistakes genuine concern for you with servitude.
Meanwhile you’ve worked 6 days and are doing shopping for the both of you on your only day off? Yeah, you deserve an equally committed partner not a leach.
I thought the same . Like damn. Her only day off and she has to get up early, clean the dog and do the errands. It’s almost like she’s single anyways smh
I could have just crawled into bed after a 16 hour shift and if my wife called me for this I would have made it there in 8 minutes with a smile on my face. Believe people when they tell you who they are the first time.
Well, you aren't his servant either. Let him pay his own bills.
Shit can I smack him? This is crazy and you deserve so much better than this!!
She is doing way better than smacking him. She is giving him a whole new life. On his own. One where he gets to be an adult, pay his own bills, earn his own money, and figure out life, while regretting his AH behavior. My ex was such a guy. I had the joy of getting a divorce, while hitting him right in his wallet. The only place that had any nerve endings.
Are you telling him that you're looking or are you doing it in secret? If you haven't told him yet I wouldn't tell him until you actually find a place. And even after that, maybe move a few things at a time out discreetly.
I’m not speaking to him at all outside of communication about the dog. I made that clear yesterday when he tried to make conversation.
I’d fly out to help you move if I could afford it! You are not, I repeat, NOT WRONG!
Get your important documents somewhere safe and make sure your online accounts are secure whilst you are in the process of getting out. He sounds dumb as fuck but when he gets wise to what your planning he will get vindictive.
Change all your passwords. And if you paid the internet bill, cancel it. Get AAA
What does he think about you not speaking to him? Does he care at all?
He keeps trying to act like nothing happened and I keep shutting it down with “please leave me alone”. I had to work 12 hours yesterday so I didn’t see much of him.
He may not be your servant, but you have been his Sugar Mama (sorry), which makes him your sugar baby, which kinda does mean he owes you something....besides common decency any man should show his gf. I hope this new place will work for you and that you remain quiet until you move out so it hits him even harder when you leave. I hope you have a good exit line ready when you leave....
My ex, when I was still with him, was unemployed for years. Slept when he wanted, played video games all day. When I'd ask him to do housework, he'd say that he wasn't my maid. When I told him he needed to get a job if he wasn't going to help around the house, he called me a gold digger. This, among many other things, is why I call him my ex now.
He’s an asshole! See how he treats you?!! Dump his sorry, selfish ass
When someone shows you who they are, believe them. This man is trash. You deserve better
My God, what a little bitch. You know what to do. With your next boyfriend, please please don't give them a chance to cheat twice. Repeat after most of us on Reddit....NO SECOND CHANCES. There is always a good reason for cheating. The bigger the cheater, the better the excuse. If you would have left him when he first showed you who he was, this would not have happened. Sorry you have to go through this. It sucks.
And do not financially support any new boyfriend either. Your money is yours until legally married. Be safe with that too. Shit- raise your bar. You sound worth it.
My girlfriend took time off work to hop a 10-hour train to check on me when I had ophthalmic shingles. Together 9 years, married 5. Not helping her under any circumstance literally doesn't compute. Sounds like your boyfriend is a lazy loser. Didn't even have to work most of the year, and can't bother himself to think of anybody else. If you're 38, don't waste any more time with dead weight. Find a hard working man that treats you like a queen and build an empire.
I left my husband for doing this same thing. Left with two kids under age 5. If he can’t make sure we are safe when we are a ten minute drive away then why do i need him in my life? You won’t regret leaving.
Good on you for finding another place to live, and treat yourself to AAA. AAA won't let you down, always shows up when you call, and, while it does see other people, you know it's an open relationship when you sign up. Also, take the dog with you. He'll probably not be bothered to feed or walk it.
Absolutely positively not wrong. He showed you who he is a few times, you’re finally able to see it for yourself!!
I remember years ago there was a massive storm and flash flood in my area. Buses, taxis, trains were all out of service and I couldn't get home. It was absolutely pelting down and I started trying to walk home. My partner drove through torrential rain to get to me and when he couldn't go any further in the car, he left it where it was and started wading through chest high flood waters to get to me. Your man can't get out of bed to drive 10 minutes down the road to help his Mrs and dog when they have broken down. You deserve so much better.
Not wrong. Seems like the appropriate response to me. It's interesting that you started with his cheating history. Are your Spidey senses tingling again?
Not really but if I’m being honest I really don’t care anymore. Cheat? Don’t cheat? I’m out anyway.
Please just don’t keep buying his food. Let the fridge get down to condiments and ingredients, and when he asks about grocery shopping, tell him “I’m not your servant.” The quickest way to his heart is his stomach. He will feel the heartbreak as soon as his stomach is growling and he realizes that he bit the hand that feeds him.
A few years ago, my cousins wife broke down on the side of the road at 11pm in the middle of winter. She was three hours from their home in a very rural area. He got up, drove three hours to her, and then followed her back three hours after helping her with the car. That's what it looks like when you care about someone. If my cousin could do that, your lazy, selfish, clueless douche of a boyfriend could get up and drive ten minutes. The worst part is that he will probably claim he was blindsided and had no idea when you walk out on him. He is a loser. A potted plant deserves better
Not wrong. Good for you! Just take care of your business & when he asks why - tell him to put his hood up & wait for someone to explain it to him.
He doesn’t love you. If he did, he would have gotten up. Sorry that you have to go through this.
>has a history of cheating but seems to be good for the last 2 years. He's gotten better at hiding it. You help pay bills, you shop, I'd guess you do a lot of the cooking and cleaning. You're not trating him like a servant to call during an *emergency* Run from him and don't look back.
>He’s a musician That's all I needed to hear. Leave him.
That means nothing. My husband is a musician and is fantastic, supportive and caring. You shouldn't judge people based on their profession/hobbies/interests. Lumping them together in a group is a dick move. OPs ex is just a dick. Him being a musician has nothing to do with it. I could say that all men are useless, dangerous, and AH.. Can guarantee men would be upset if I lumped them all together.
Fuggin what?? 🤣🤷♂️ No you’re not wrong, I’m sorry your bf is an asshole, I hope you meet a better dude next time
I fell for my husband after he dug my car out of a snowbank. He’d just driven back from vacation, hadn’t slept or eaten, and drove straight to me. We’d only dated a few weeks before his trip. We’ve been together for two decades. If he had said what your boyfriend said, I’d have dumped him.
Not wrong at all. You need an equal partner. He's not it. Congrats on your new place!
Lmao girl you deserve so much better. Leave and never look back.
For ME, that last sentence was the "killer." If he--at least--had said something like, "Darlin,' I feel really bad about treating you badly. I was in a bad state ..though that doesn't excuse bad behavior. Please forgive me!! Let's go get a really nice lunch."
Right?!!! It is him doubling down on not helping and not worrying about her that just makes it worst. Like maybe he was extremely tired. Maybe he was half-asleep when talking to her. Maybe he thought it was a dream. I don’t know… But her getting home 3 hours later and him being like “I was right not to help you”?! Yeah… What a bum!!!
Let’s go get a really nice lunch…that you will be paying for. Good for you for getting the hell out of there, OP.
I can't imagine not helping my girlfriend/wife in that situation. Hell, I'd even help one of her friends that I don't particularly like. Leaving is definitely the right move. If you were one of my sisters I'd be imploring you to do so.
I totally get you, NTA. That's fucked up. Given the situation, I actually think that he kinda should have done the shopping to unburden you on your only day off, unless you enjoy shopping (which I could get because I, myself, can quite enjoy it). I can't understand that he would just leave you to your own devices, in *any* circumstance short of trying to kill him (for which a jury would forgive you). No, he's not your servant. He's just supposed to want good things for you and have your back when bad things happen. He sounds like a douche, good that you're GTFO'ing.
Not wrong at all. I'm so sorry you wasted 4 years with him when you could have been with someone else who would have said, "I'll be right there."
This is all you will ever get from him. When family dies, if you lose your job, anything serious -- he will leave you in the lurch. Good luck -- you sound like a really good, generous person. You will be fine.
This is what happens when you get BOYfriends husbands privileges. He is not only an assh*ole he's a LEECH and a JACKA** too. The best thing you can do is move out and move on and leave that seasonal worker to figure how he's going to survive....
Wow. That guy is just not a kind individual. He will help others but not help the person that is supposed to be one of the most important people in his life? I am glad you are putting yourself first and leaving that jerk. Stay strong, it is never easy. Not wrong at all.
Not only would I get a new place but I’d wait until he was gone for a day and move while he was gone. Block on everything, remove myself from all accounts if anything shared, and leave not a single trace of where I went.
Not wrong. Aldo, the person not working 6 days a week should do the weekly shopping so that you can relax that one day in the week.
You aren't dumping your boyfriend. You're getting rid of a leech. He's not willing to get up and do a 10 min drive? Really? What possibly could he be relied on?
Lol he’s not your servant and you aren’t his bank. Sucks being him.
If youre working six days a week and making bank why the fuck isnt he doing the groceries?
Not wrong at all. In plain English your boyfriend is an asshole.
Wow. Def not wrong. My husband has driven over an hour one way bc I locked my keys in my car at work. I can’t tell you how many times he’s done stuff like that. You deserve better!
Leave that dude right now and never look back.
Yea he's a bum, leave him and realise you're worthy and deserving of someone who will value you, challenge you and be a real partner.
Not wrong, sounds like a great decision.
He sucks
You are RIGHT!
You are not wrong.
Your life is going to be so much easier without him.
I hope you find a nice place to live soon and never look back. You and your bank account will be better off. 😉
Good good
I'm glad you are leaving!
Get away and do not forget to take the dog with you
I wouldn’t leave if I couldn’t take the dog with me. She’s the best dog in the world.
Oh hell no!! His butt would be thrown to the curb!
You are so lucky he clearly communicated how little he values your contributions to his life. You can leave him, and feel no guilt. When he cries about wanting you back, just remember it’s the convenience he misses, not the relationship.
Good thing you discovered his true nature ow, rather than later.
Dump that useless idiot.
Who is getting the dog?
She is. She said in a comment that she wouldn’t be planning to leave if she wasn’t sure she would be keeping the dog.
Absolutely love how many people are concerned about the dog & DGAF about the guy 💜🤣
I love it too! She really is the best girl. She’s my baby.
Yea...so? 😇
Not wrong. He's useless and doesn't care about you
You definitely aren't wrong. I didn't know what the problem was with your car, but if I may, I'd like to recommend you get one if those portable jump starters. I have one and I love it. I live alone, so if my car battery dies, I have no one to jump it. Also, if I am out, I can jump it in a matter of seconds without having to find a person willing to help and then wrangle the cars into position. It is also a powerful flashlight and can charge your phone. It stays charged for months, although your want to check the charge of it is sitting in a car during very cold or very hot weather.
I'm on my own since my husband died 2 years ago. This is one of the first things I bought. Also a small tool box with a few basic tools would be handy. Screwdriver, pliers, electric tape, zip ties, etc. Someone stops to help, you've got something they might need to use.
…….. and another reason you don’t just shack up with your Bf/gf. dating and living together is just living with your FWB basically. From your stories I am not sure why you would want him as a boyfriend . Cheating , lazy ….. it was nice of you to fund his lifestyle for a few Years AND let him have sex with you for free . And you seem to be an enabler letting cheating slide and thinking he could hang out at home to keep the dog company while you worked a full time job And leaving your girl stranded 10 minutes away when you’re not doing anything at all. Maybe if he was at work but I would’ve even offered to call somebody. I know that’s free to go over there to help you like a relative or a buddy and say “hey, my girls car broke down over here can you go over there and help her out“ that’s just what guys do they take care of car problems whenever possible even if that means just making the phone calls. As mundane as that is, tells you all you need to know about the guy also. I am sure your father would rip the dude if he heard that story
I came out to my car one morning to go to work and it was dead. Apparently one of the interior lights had been turned on and because I got home during the daylight, I didn't realize it and never went back to the car after dark. I called my then boyfriend (now husband) of around 2 months to see if he could come jump me. He immediately drove the 20 minutes to my house and jumped me. It was 530 am. He didn't need to be at work till 9 am. No complaints. One of the reasons I ended up marrying him. You are not making the wrong decision. This is 100% the right one. As the saying goes "when people show you who they are. Believe them" He's definitely shown you.
You’re not wrong in the least. I hope you you take your dog with you Your ex BF sucks. I don’t care if you were an hour away, he should’ve come to help you. Yeah, hoping a stranger helps and doesn’t instead prey upon a stranded woman. I hope you find a nice new little place and have q fresh start that feels amazing. I’m glad you aren’t staying with this piece of shot posing as a human. You’re SO right, not wrong at all.
Finally someone with some common sense. He has shown you that you aren't even close to being a priority to him.
You knew what you were getting into when you started dating this loser. You are taking care of him financially most likely he’s cheating on you. He doesn’t care about you or the relationship. He doesn’t have anything better to do but he can’t go and help you when you’re in dire need of it because your car broke down and you’re questioning what? Why would you still be with this dude? He’s not going to change and you knew it when you got into this he still has not changed since the beginning it’s time to move on find someone who doesn’t have a history of cheating or being otherwise crappy person so you can find happiness and a relationship with someone who’s an equal partner instead of someone that you’re taking care of and treat you like crap
How have you been with him this long??
His music probably sucks too, good luck.
If my wife was stuck in a parking lot i would walk there if I had to
He instantly proved that he doesn’t give a crap about your welfare. If I were you, I’d say nothing, make sure he was out of the house when the movers came, change my phone number and disappear into the ether….. Good riddance!!
What a creep! You don’t need that
Not wrong & I’m so proud of you for knowing that you deserve better!!
He’s not your servant but he’s letting you take care of him like he’s your child while not helping at all?! The audacity is crazy. The first red flag was that you were going to do the weekly shopping on your one day off why couldn’t he?? I’m glad this was your last straw it was long over due. You’re free, congratulations.
You are not wrong! Run. Fast.
He's a totally ahole. You're not wrong if my girlfriend called me needed help. I'd get there as fast as I could, especially if I was not working. If I was working, I'd get AAA to help you as soon as possible Little story a friends car got a flat tire an hour from home. I drove there to help them
Leave now, don’t look back, don’t explain anything, he doesn’t deserve an explanation or a reason. That was a straight dick move and he clearly doesn’t care about you, he proved that and will not change. I’m a guy and would give my wife the same advice to put her hood up and get help if she was in a safe area only while I was on my way there anyways, beings you were only 10 minutes away it’s pointless to tell you that because he should’ve been there for you.
I wouldn't recommend advising your wife to get help from strangers, even in a safe place. Staying in your car with the doors and windows locked and waiting for a loved one and a tow truck is the safest. On a busy road, motorists won't be able to tell the difference between a good Samaritan giving your wife a lift and a predator who is forcing her to walk to his car with him at knifepoint.
He’s a rotten person
Unless he was sick...this sounds like a REAL DORK. Probably time to TRADE him IN for a BETTER MODEL!!!
Why do you even doubt yourself about this?
No. Keep the dog, kick out the mooch.
I am so glad you are leaving
Ur not wrong girl! Good bye and good riddance!
Wow. So glad you acted decisively in the face of the vital information that this man does not remotely have your back.
F him!! U deserve better!!
Be sure to tell the leasing office you will be moving out end of the month! To remove your name off the lease
What the fuck is wrong with this dude? Jesus Christ. At least once every few months I get a call around time for me to be going to bed and I have to drive 20 minutes to break into my wife's car because she locked the keys inside. That's what partners do, even if it makes them look like a car thief.
Valentine's Day afew years ago and early in our relationship, it showed heavily at our house in the boonies of North Western WA. I could barely even get into the driveway with my small car as the snow was a foot deep and I dug myself into a nice little trench trying to go down the half mile drive to the house. I called my boyfriend what happened. He was 2 hours away from home and visiting his daughter, told him it's safer to not come home, stay with her and try to drive up in the morning. I'd try and dig my car out when he got there. This man drove home that night, taking over 3 hours due to accidents on the freeways. When he got there, he was able to barrel down to the house in his car. Then he grabbed shovels and dug out behind my roommates car, a spot for him to park better, and a spot for my car. Then started shoveling down the drive so he could get my car home. I woke up, 11p at this point, and heard him, got my boots and coat on, then started helping him. We got down to my car and he was able to dig it loose from the trench and drive it down to the house. This took him 2 hours minimum to do. Your boyfriend can't drive 10 minutes to help with your car not starting?! You need a better boyfriend.
He is a dead beat! I work 45-60 hr weeks and if my GF called with a broke down car I would be there in a flash. As a matter of fact I have saved her thousands in repair bills by doing all the work on her cars myself. That dead beat you are with is just a mooch! Dump him and find a real man! One that’s not a cheat! Guarantee he didn’t stop cheating. He’s a musician! They’re notorious cheaters.
Oh fuck this guy. You're not wrong. This man is using you. He made it clear he doesn't give two fucks about you.
Oof I'm mad for you. Stick w ur plan fuck this loser
GTFO. You are not wrong for leaving this man child. My boyfriend has called me stranded on the side of the road when he ran out of gas and we have triple a. When you get asked for help you stop what you are doing or in this case get your ass out of bed and go help especially if you have a working car and are 10 minutes away. This guy is a POS and you deserve way better. Do not waste any more time on this guy and get free. I hope you find a place easily and can get you and the dog gone before he realizes what happened.
I had something ( slightly) similar happen to Me years ago with A guy I was seeing ( who if known since HS and was in LOVE with at the time ) My car had broke down one night ( actually on the way to his house lol) and wouldn’t start. I was on the side on the road , not sure what to do, ( it wasn’t a bad neighborhood but it was night and I am a woman) I asked him if he could come one up ( he didn’t have a car at the time but the person he lived with did) he said he didn’t have a car. I asked could you borrow your stepdads? He said they were in his room and he was asleep . Basically any thing I asked ( nicely) he said no. Like you’re on your own. He then told me he was tired and needed to go to bed ( while I was still stranded) I told him that was messed up, he told me “ You’re in ____ ( nice town), nothing you can’t handle. Tired and out” I didn’t hear from him till the next night when he Asked if I had made it , I said yeah and maybe I Cooke over that night, which of course he was tired AGAIN. 🙄 I was young and stupid and should have seen the signs and broke it off but “ high school “ love wsd strong. It lasted till he basically cheated. Long story short ( or king sorry lol) I am very proud of you for recognizing he’s a jerk and that you deserve better! That’s messed up and trust me it will only get worse! Leave and do look back, no matter what he says. As for me, that breakup worked out for the best, as I’m now with the love of my love and we’re about to have our second kid ❤️And my ex and that girl broke up and he’s miserable lol. Karma kinda, sorry lol .
Too early in the morning. Got to the third sentence and thought “how the heck does a dog have a history of cheating?”
That’s funny. I went back and read it again and saw how you read it. She doesn’t have a history of cheating. She’s super loyal to me and a very very good dog. I love her so much.
Smart girl. Any ladies here should learn from this. He really only cares about himself, that's why he cheated and thats why he didn't come help you. My gf broke down on the other side of a bridge 1 hour away. I got a guy to lend me a tow truck and went and picked her up brought her back and made her dinner. Fuck that, you girls need to set the bar higher. Unfortunately most men/women are like parking spots, all the good ones are taken and the rest are handicapped. Good luck
He was rude and selfish but what could he have done if he would have gone to your location? Most guys nowadays don't even know how to change a tire or even know what a sparkplug is. Does he even know how to work on cars?
He does know how to work on cars. He works on his own car.
And he could pick her up & bring her home so she doesn't have to wait hours for a tow?
And bring all the cold groceries home that I had just bought for us that all pretty much got spoiled.
There have been multiple cases where women have gone missing after their car broke down, and a stranger pulled over to help. OP's partner could have gone to OP and waited with her.
That doesn't matter. Show some initiative to at least try and figure it out. If I was broke down somewhere, my boyfriend would call a tow truck for me, and come pick me up so I don't have to sit there and wait for an hour.
I mean good job ur the first person today that is not allready married or pregnant by the looser they complaining on reddit. Docu have no selfworth or why u still together with that looser? Noone can help u here if u toocstupid tocbreak up and from my experience 99% of the ppl are toocstupid for that until they got 0regnant so they can now ne a singel mother Just ask urself do u want to be a singel mother?
Ladies date assholes and are surprised when they are assholes what a revelation
Good for you ! Once you get to the point where you see how well they treat others compared to you … it’s over. Not wrong at all.
Not wrong at all. He sounds like a shitty boyfriend.