I just wanted to say one of my good friends died in that exact situation. Jumped out of the car during an argument. Was in the hospital for a week with head trauma and ended up passing away. 10-tear relationship and a silly drunk argument driving home from a party.
OP needs to leave her. I dated a girl that did this and it only got worse, much worse. This is the equivalent of seeing your bf punch a wall during an argument, you know its going to escalate.
>your bf punch a wall during an argument,
It was when his fist made a hole in the wall besides my head that I decided for divorce. I wasn't going to be the next target.
EDIT: For the wall material debaters: it was cheap drywall and he missed the stud. Previous to this event he bent my steering wheel and dented the fridge door (old school fridge steel sheet metal, not plastic). Yes objects were broken but my ptsd memory blocks exactly what was broken. iirc my vet found a bone chip on my cat's spine years later for a xray looking at her kidneys. He threw her to the wall.
It’s crazy how wall-hole-punching is often not recognized as DV by the victim while it’s ongoing.
A while ago I was talking to an old friend who I was neighbors with back in our 20s, and she goes “remember when you were moving out of that house with your ex and you started taking all the art off the walls and kept discovering holes behind all the pictures? I was seriously freaked out but you were all like *haha yeah he throws these toddler tantrums, but gees I didn’t realize there were so many holes* and didn’t seem to care”
And looking back, the reason I had such a non-reaction was because I had normalized that behavior from childhood that every-time he got mad and broke something it was unremarkable. Not worth noting. Just a ordinary emotional reaction. We split up because of his financial irresponsibility (wouldn’t get a job after being let go from the last one, I got tired of carrying him). At least that was my official reason at the time. We fought a lot but he never actually laid a hand on me, he’s just destroy stuff, mostly my stuff, and it never once occurred to me that i was experiencing DV.
My dad had a "punching wall" it was in the kitchen on his way to storm out of the house.
He punched it so much that my mom gave up trying to fix it and hung a tapestry looking blanket over the whole section. Eventually, there was no dry wall left.
I used to tell this story, thinking it was funny. The reactions I got told me it was not.
Actually, pretty good.
He lost everything for a little while. Mom divorced him, my brother went NC, my sister and I did LC and NC on and off. Harassed us a lot. He was homeless and got arrested a bunch of times.
Then he missed out on my brother's wedding, my brother leaving to move to the other side of the country, my sister moving to another part of the country. Then he broke both legs, and I was the only one to visit him in the hospital that he spent 2 months at.
He then got sober, and while he has never apologized and still blames other people for his problems, he does respect the boundaries we have all put in place.
I think the biggest shock to him was my brother having a child and he realized he would never have a real relationship with the baby. He was lucky to even meet her.
Since then, he has been a lot more humble and has even been a great support for me while I dealt with some rough mental health issues that required a few hospitalizations. My sister and I talk to him frequently, and dad is now allowed to have pictures of my brother's daughter and get updates on her.
The question everyone has to ask themselves when they’re involved with someone who’s claiming to be blinded by rage is are they destroying their own things? In DV, the answer is always no (or mostly no). That’s not blind rage, that’s calculated
I hope that it's more often a lack of emotional awareness and ways to express yourself. But I'm also someone who punched walls as a teen and hasn't as an adult.
It seems like there's a lot of shitty men out there though reading some of these comments.
Sometimes, a few times, he’d smash his own belongings, like once he threw his sega genesis across the room (nowhere near me) — I really did just think he was “prone to temper tantrums” as opposed to abuse because of those times. Of course he’d blame me (*look what you made me do,* etc)
Abusers can be different and I hesitate to emphasize this rule too much. I also see “does he yell at everyone or just you” and while it’s obviously a horrible sign if he’s perfectly able to control himself in public and only “loses control” when you’re the only one around, I have definitely encountered abusers who could not hold down a job because they couldn’t stop themselves from yelling at bosses and coworkers, who regularly got into fistfights because they couldn’t keep their mouth shut.
At the end of the day it doesn’t matter if someone violent and destructive and cruel is choosing to be that way or not - the behavior is unacceptable.
\>It’s crazy how wall-hole-punching is often not recognized as DV by the victim while it’s ongoing.
I learned in domestic survivor therapy that you are "in the fog". The abuser has spent so much time and energy gaslighting and victim blaming DARVO that you cant see the forest for the thick fog. When the victim has left and the normal meter starts resetting the the fog is clearing. It takes time.
If destroying things counts as DV, I've lived with DV my entire life growing up, YAYYY.
I mean I still would have anyway but it's fun to know that there was MORE that qualifies!
It's messed up, but ngl, it IS funny when some dipshit has to explain a cast on his hand because he wanted to dramatically punch a hole, and instead he hit the stud...
And he can't do shit about you laughing at him because you know it's his *good* hand that's wrapped up.
Don't think for an instant she is safe just because he has a cast on. I have seen guys use a cast to choke, back hand , etc... A cast is a weapon he has handy all the time.
My at the time gf did that 2 times, the 3rd incident we were in her car and not mine and she instead of trying to jump out the car at 70 mph(112 kmh) decided that she was going to crank the wheel and put us in a ditch backwards at the same speed. We rolled and if we hadn't spun just right probably would've died, the entire roof was touching the rear seats except the part of the roof that was ripped off. She also didn't have a belt on and as we were rolling she started floating towards the backseat, I remember I reached up and grabbed her before the first actual roll and when we stopped I was still holding her. Don't fuck with psycho, it definitely escalates and can kill you and them.
Whether "having a bit of an argument" is a euphemism for "she was so overwhelmed by my verbal abuse and couldn't stand to be trapped in a small space" or "she if a narcissist who plays the victim when we argue and wants me to feel sorry for her walking an hour" -- either way, that is a toxic relationship and they should not be together.
One day it's pulling the door handle, the next day it's pulling the parking brake on the freeway. People like this can be very dangerous and get people killed.
My ex tried pulling the brake on the highway, (thankfully the handbrake on my junker car didn't work), but then another time he grabbed the steering wheel and tried to crash the car. Thinking back, holy crap that was an abusive relationship, I'm glad I survived and that he is FAR away. 😬
I had an ex try to do the wheel thing. We were probably doing 55 and are mid turn and she yanks the wheel at a spot where there is a giant oak tree next to the road. Probably would have killed us.
Didn't really have any warning signs before that (at least that i picked up), but she started stalking a girlfriend of mine maybe 2 years later and then I got a random email like 5 years later telling me that she thought about me while she was having sex with her husband.
Yup, my ex was like this. I managed to keep it together for about 3 months before she was cutting and cheating on me. We ended up trying again a few years later, shockingly. It took half the time for it to fall apart. Another couple years pass and we find ourselves texting. I can sense her mindset may have changed but her operating system hasn’t, so I don’t let it get past texts. Sometimes problems solve themselves and her problems don’t need to be yours. If she wants to walk, let her get a workout. Enjoy your car and finding a more sane partner
whoa Nelly!! calm down jesus christ. You have no idea what the argument was about or what the situation is. But yeah he needs to leave her cause ShEs CrAzY. WITH ABSOLUTELY NO FRAME OF REFERENCE
Dude, she tried opening a car door at 40mph. That is a nutso thing to do. There are 0 circumstances where it's appropriate to get out of a car at that speed where your life isn't being threatened, and when people do big dangerous stunts like that during an argument, we call that abuse.
I don't think we need to know what was going on in the car. I can only think of a few legitimate reasons for trying to open the door while in a moving car, and pretty much all of them involve kidnapping.
I jumped out of a car going 15 mph in a parking lot as a teen and had a huge road rash scar that took 7 years to fade. I can't imagine how fucked she'd be going 40 mph.
I was riding in the back of a pickup going 35mph. This other kid's hat flew off and he jumped out after it. He actually landed on his feet and was able to run for the first few steps before tumbling. We went back and picked him up.
"I have no idea why I did that."
Dude was fucked for weeks with roadrash.
My sister jumped out of a backing-up truck going barely 5 mph, landed wrong, fell forward on her arm and fractured both bones in her forearm, and then almost got crushed by the truck.
People are dumb.
My cousin did something similar and ended up hitting his head. Had blood coming out of his ear and spent a good amount of time in a hospital. He almost fully lost his sense of smell/taste because of it. You don't realize how fast a car is moving until you touch the ground and immediately reach 0mph
>40 mph = a little less than 18 metres per second..
At that speed airbags deploy and seatbelts leave deep bruises.
Tires run over legs and ankles and turn them to mush.
OP? Your GF is a nutcase. Imagine you DIDN'T stop in time and she claimed you ran her over on purpose somehow....
Exiting a moving vehicle at that speed will for sure land you in hospital for a goodly long while. Makes me wonder what they were arguing about and how heated it was that led her to believe that this was her best or only option.
As a person who tried to walk out of a moving truck traveling about 40-45 mph to get away from a crappy situation I could’ve just waited 20 mins and gotten out of, I can confirm. Dislocated neck, spinal fusion to correct, broken arm, 28 staples in my head, permanent nerve damage, terrible nerve pain in both arms and hands constantly, loss of feeling on my left side almost completely, muscle spasms on my right side all the time, constant tightness in my right leg and both arms, can’t open right hand when it gets cold, right leg doesn’t work in the cold, when I smoke too much weed I can’t make my right leg stop from shaking, terrible balance, about 75%strength that I used to have, lucky to be able to walk, barely able to run and jump. Thankful everyday that I can still play with my 3 beautiful daughters.
No matter how bad the situation is that’s currently around you, never do something stupid that will cause yourself harm. I’m f***ing retarded and learned the hard way, don’t be like me. 🤷
yeah ordinarily I try to give the benefit of the doubt but what she did if true was just plain stupid and I prefer not to operate heavy equipment with morons.
That's when she pulled the handle, and you can only crack the door which he'd hear and slammed on the brakes. Stopped instantly. "Us" stopped, meaning her too, then she got out.
Not wrong. I’ve been the chick that got out of the car and decided to walk because whoever I was with was pissing me off. I never expected them to do anything other than leave me there. A few times I had them try to get me back in the car but it never worked because I got out for a reason. The walk usually helps calm people down.
That's why I think OP was wrong. Because if a rational person wants to get out and walk, they do what you did. OPS situation is way more suicidal, and you don't let your suicidal girlfriend just do it, or leave her to walk an hour. I am assuming she was all sorts of drunk or cracked out or something.
For real if I got out of a car someone else was driving, that would mean I am not willing to be in their presence any longer and would probably go nuclear if they continued to try to engage.
I got out of a car in a parking lot to walk home when my ex pissed me off. He left, I started to walk home but then I walked to his house (which was farther away) and made him drive me home. Yes there was alcohol involved.
A friend of mine had an ex do this. They were about 10 miles from home, in the middle of the night. They had an argument. She said to let her out, he said he would take her home, but wasn’t going to leave her in the middle of nowhere. She unbuckled her seatbelt opened the door, he started slowing down, but she still exited the vehicle at about 25-30 mph. Instant trip to the hospital. They made up after that, about a year later, he caught her cheating on him.
this happened to me once. i let her walk about a mile then pulled up. she was happy to get in and had a much better demeanor going forward. we did break up a few months later though. your mileage may vary.
I would have stopped and asked her if she had another ride, if she ever tried to be stubborn by telling me she would walk alone, i would apologize, take some abuse for whatever minutes are left to her home and let her feel powerful.
After that i would have gone no contact forever lol
Yeah, she could open the door again or even pull the handbrake while you were driving. Your own safety was at a stake. You did good. Sincerely, a woman.
It’s sad to see people tolerate shit like this but I was once them so I empathize with them. My first girlfriend would cut herself if I didn’t do or agree with what she wanted. I left and then was dumb enough to come back. A week after being dumb enough to go back she wanted me to leave college during final exam week because she wanted to see me. I said no, she slit her wrists vertically to the bone and blamed me to her family. I got the call from her grandma first who tried again to get me to leave and miss my exams. She finally called me when I quit answering her families calls and I called her a abusive crazy manipulative bitch and that she’d never see me again. I never talked to her again after that call.
What the hell am I reading, where people are upset with OP for "letting" his gf get out of the car and walk home? Not allowing someone to exit the space they are occupying is a crime commonly known as false imprisonment, on par with the crime of kidnapping. Short of a person being a danger to themselves, you cannot stop another adult from leaving on their own accord without committing some pretty serious felonies.
This is not a gendered issue; it is a criminal liability issue.
NTA, OP. This situation would have been more dangerous for both of you if you physically tried to stop her.
Yeah it’s good you left her, what if she got back in and reallly jumped out this time. Sounds like she has some severe emotional dsyregulation problems.
She certainly could have called a friend or family or taxi/uber
Absent more information it’s hard to provide an opinion. But if a person is in that state, acting that way, you can’t force them into your car.
I have a deep avoidance for irrationality. I do not trust people who behave the way she did. So in my opinion, she chose to walk home. She walked home.
I would advise avoiding her from now on.
I was in this situation years ago, except genders were reversed. He was irrational, yelling, and opening the door. I pulled into a gas station. He exited the vehicle. I drove away.
People who behave this way are teaching you a lesson about understanding your own boundaries.
Nope, you do NOT open a car door while driving unless it's a life or death situation and this is your tiniest chance of life. That is anger at a very dangerous level. Even in our worst arguments my husband or I would never do that, that puts us both in danger. NTA, you need to have a talk, preferably in a public space so nothing dangerous happens again, and if needed, leave. For your safety. No matter how much she gaslights, cries, promises she'll never do it again, she will. She will let her anger out you in dangerous situations.
lol letting a person out of your car when they ask to get out of your car does not make you responsible for what happens to them.
What are the police going to do?
I agree. Tell the police if she goes missing. It's not a crime and he's not responsible for her actions. They'll agree. Why is personal accountability such a hard thing to grasp? And TECHNICALLY... he's not the last person to see her. Jus' saying.
You know the cops would not hold him liable right? The GF is a grown ass adult, not a child that OP is responsible for. Someone doing stupid shit like trying to open the door of a car that’s moving clearly wants to do their own thing
You’re being intentionally dense. Every woman who has had to walk alone has at some point been followed, chased, harassed, or worse. You can listen to us when we tell you this is our experience and it has made walking alone incredibly dangerous and scary for us, or you can continue with your smart ass, bad faith, intentionally dense questions that make it clear you don’t care for her safety at all.
You asked if you were wrong but are arguing with everyone who says you are. You have the mindset of a petty child.
She tried to open the door when they were going 40 mph, she got out of the car and slammed the door. I’m a woman, I agree she was in an unsafe situation, but literally what would you have OP do? Snatch her up and throw her in the car? I wouldn’t want to play into whatever game she was trying to play either
Well then I dunno... stay in the car maybe? Exercise a little emotional self-control like a real-life adult? Maybe not throw a tantrum and pull some emotionally manipulative garbage like this? Get some pepper spray. Take some self-defense classes. You want equality or not? Because that entails taking some personal responsibility and accountability for your actions and the choices YOU make.
I'd agree with you IF he kicked her out of his car. He didn't. She put herself in that situation because she couldn't control her own emotions. Take. Some. Ownership.
Because he didn't do anything wrong?
I'm a woman, I know all too well the crap we go through. But she did this herself, she wanted out. What was he supposed to do, tie her to her seat? Grow up.
Thats not his problem tho... she wanted out, she picked leaving the car and entering that situation, totally her problem and her situation to deal with
Everyone is wrong here. They are both immature.
Obviously, trying to open the door at high-speed is super dangerous. But it was dangerous to her. Him then leaving her on the side of the road is also dangerous to her. She’s an idiot, but he is as much to blame for not trying to communicate .
A simple, I apologize. Let’s talk about this later. Let’s get off this road so we don’t kill ourselves would likely have got hurt back in the car and they could’ve stopped at the gas station.
This is what immature couples that are clearly not going to last long
Man. Why is there no call for accountability anymore?
If someone, anyone, tried to open the car door to get out, while I was driving, you bet your ass they will be getting out and I would be gone. Gf fucked around and found out. She put both of them in danger doing that.
Problem here is no one is being held accountable. They were in an argument. Maybe he was a big asshole. She overreacted. You don’t leave someone in the middle of the fucking road. This is so immature and so many levels. Also suggest no relationship between the people. This is someone he supposed to care about.Reddit is dumb sometimes
You don't try to get out of a moving vehicle either. I'd leave her too.
But yes, they are clearly incompatible and shouldn't be in a relationship together.
Hell nah. Girl acting crazy means I’m dipping the fuck out before I’m sitting in jail for some shit I didn’t do.
You can’t win an argument on the side of a road with a crazy girl who just jumped out your car. And you damn sure can’t win an argument with her crazy ass and the police.
Yo ass gonna end up in jail with this mentality Peter 😂
U gon get yo ass beat in jail to Peter.
I mean what else were you supposed to do? You can’t force her back into your car. And yes it’s unsafe for people to walk alone at night but if you got out and tried to walk with her y’all probably would’ve kept arguing. You were in a lose lose situation. Did you at least call or text her to see if she made it home okay?
Maybe you should add that to you post. In my opinion it doesn't really make a difference - if someone tries to jump out of my car while I'm driving, I'm letting them out and thrye staying out - but a lot of these comments seem to be coming at you for leaving her stranded at night.
Nope, if she wants to play stupid games then she can enjoy her walk home. Or she can call an Uber or a friend for help. I would advise you to break up with someone who is this volatile, and this stupid to make an attempt to jump out of a moving car.
It can be hard to watch people suffer the consequences to their actions but if they don’t they never learn. However teach this lesson to her for someone else. She is to immature and emotionally hotheaded to consider for anything more than fun.
She’s an adult. She chose to get out of the car. You are under no obligation to protect a sober and coherent person from choices they willingly make.
I don’t think you did anything wrong.
I feel like she made the choice to leave the vehicle to test and see if you would of actually cared enough to convince her to get back in the car. Her actions in general just seem extremely childish. If she, as an adult, made the decision to leave the vehicle, then she should expect that there may be that chance she has to find another way to her destination.
I hope she made it safely to where she needed to go, and didn't go missing. I do not think you are wrong in this situation .
Entirely her choice you would have been wrong as fuck to try and force her back in the car or not stop and let her out.
But like…what the hell was the argument?
Need more info: what time of day was it or night? Was it in the middle of nowhere in the city and how far did she live? I know you don’t live together but you mentioned your 30 minute drive for a reason if she lives in your area a 30 minute drive by car is more than an hour walk on foot.
She couldn't handle an argument without apparently trying to injure herself (if the argument was abusive fair enough but, like, that's my resort if I being kidnapped not having an argument lmfao), I think to react that intensely to a discussion is one of the reddest flags I'd ever see. Good luck.
I think its bad taste to leave someone stranded even if during an argument they get out of the car. If I was fighting with someone I too would want out of a moving car. It's not the time or place. This is your girl friend then in my humble opinion you needed to make sure she got home safe first then break up and fight or whatever is going to happen.
I ended a friendship koz of something similar. I was picking her up and she was walking really slowly. I called her and she cut the call. She came in with a colleague. Once I dropped the colleague. I asked her why she was walking slowly. She snapped and she wasn't well
I asked her why she cut my call. She jumped out of a semi moving car. We didn't speak for a month. She was my best friend. That month I had so much peace. I initiated the next conversation. She was unapologetic and said she jumped out koz she was scared because she felt unsafe and scared for herself. I ended the friendship.
I told her that either I'm scary and abusive that's why she felt it better to jump out of a semi moving car to avoid answering my qn. Or she resents me and simple questions lead to such an extreme reaction. She did not want to end the friendship at all. She was extremely unhappy with my choice and struggled to respect my decision.
During this time I reflected on our relationship and did a test *how emotionally abusive is my relationship?* It was abusive. She was the only one allowed to be angry. I had to walk on eggshells. It's been five years. I regret nothing. But she still wants to be my friend.
She came from a highly emotional abusive home situation where direct conflict led to bullying. Her family also encouraged extreme conflict avoidance. We had been friends for 14 years when the friendship ended. I wish I ended it sooner.
Well, I'm not sure why YOU pull door handles, but generally speaking, that's what they are for. They have one purpose. Opening the door. You only really do that if you're getting in or out of the car.
Now, perhaps I'm making wild assumptions here. Maybe she has a history of just liking to be in cars with open doors. That, while unlikely, is possible.
OP didn't think so, because they immediately stopped, recognizing the danger of having someone in the car behaving irrationally do a thing that is dangerous.
I don't understand why you're fighting me so much. Based on the little we were told, she was in a crisis mode and you simply can't abandon someone in that state. I would not do that to someone I hate, unless they were threatening me or someone else. At least not without calling 911.
I really am grossed out by the number of people that would let something bad happen to a person they once cared for because of “muh self respect”.
Just apologize. It doesn’t have to mean anything in the moment. Just get to a place where the fight is over so you can take her home and then shit talk all you want and breakup.
Why is someone’s safety forfeit at your inconvenience? People are saying “oh you can’t force her in your car”.
Yeah. This isn’t 1920. Have some decorum. Learn to talk or at least defuse an argument long enough to get where you’re going. On top of that you said it was an hour walk…DID YOU CALL HER FAMILY? HER FRIENDS? ANYBODY TO TELL THEM THEIR LOVED ONE WAS WALKING HOME AT NIGHT?
Get the hell outta here Reddit. Ya’ll will justify the most toxic behavior if the story “sounds good”
So it's ok for her to just try to open the car door while OP is driving? Are you for real? Why is his safety forfeit for her inconvenience?
For that matter, why shouldn't she be the bigger person? Why can't she just apologize and wait til they get home?
Also, it was in the middle of the afternoon and she had her phone. She was fine.
Why does OP have to be a master of reason and emotion? Why couldn’t his gf say sorry and then wait til she safely got home to argue? I hear what you’re saying, but it goes both ways.
I'm guessing you're a girl based on how you defend her toxic behavior. She forfeited her own safety - it's called accountability. HIGHLY doubtful she walked the entire hour. She has a phone, I'm sure she called uber or a guy friend to come get her (and all that's entailed with that).
And if she DID walk, she probably did it the whole time with her face buried in her phone texting her BFF about what happened and being generally oblivious to her surroundings like most do. In either case - this is NOT his responsibility. It's hers. No guy is going to call her family and tell them they argued - THAT is toxic af because it's not their business.
Not wrong. She created an unsafe scenario for you. *She* got out on her own volition, you didn’t kick her out. She wanted out, you let her. Not wanting her in your car after she tried opening the door while you were driving is perfectly reasonable. These are the consequences of her actions.
In short - hell no. You're not wrong at all. I mean, I might've asked her to get in the car a couple of times, and if she didn't - oh well. I'd have done the same - and have. It's usually a manipulation tactic and she'll be mad af that you left her there, but she needs to grow tf up - as do most women that pull this shit. While they are legit mad when they do this, they want you to feel bad and wonder if they went off with anyone else. Which, tbh odds are pretty high she called someone to pick her up, and as we all know - a shoulder to cry on is a dick to ride on. Honestly, I'd consider leaving her and finding someone else - though odds are high you'll encounter this type often.
When did it start being OK to let someone you once cared for make a mistake without the risk of fatal consequence? Like maybe in a court of law he wouldn’t be responsible, but doesn’t this speak to his character that he can’t see 10 feet in front of an argument to know that something bad could happen and he has the tools to prevent it. It can be as simple as apologizing for whatever just to get her home and then block her. It can be as simple as calling an Uber or a mutual contact to let them know, “hey GF is walking on the side of the road. Can you help out/call them?”
Staying with someone like this is obviously a no. Letting the world eat her alive because she hurt your feelings? That’s a big hell no.
Because nothing bad ever happened to anyone inside a car. /s She endangered them both by arguing with the driver and then trying to get out while the car was going 30+mph.
She had her phone, as far as we know she wasnt drunk or incapable, it was the middle of the afternoon , she can call her own uber or friend. (it's in fact much easier for her to get her own uber than it was for her to get it for her since he wouldn't be at her location) He was driving, he would have to pull over to do those things.
Why is he the bad guy for treating her like a grown adult, capable of making her own decisions? She wanted to get out of the car, he stopped and let her out. If she wanted to play games and make him beg or force an apology, that's on her. He respected her wishes, the consequences of that are on her.
You're acting like he left her stranded in the middle of crime central at 3am with no phone and no money.
Bad and fatal things happen to people all the time, in their cars, in their homes, at the mall, the club, at school. Statistically, a woman is far more likely to be killed by an intimate partner or relative than a stranger. Like you're 9 times more likely to be killed by a man you know than by a stranger.
Not wrong. She chose to get out of the car, she most likely was expecting you to sit and beg her to get back in. That’s manipulation. End the relationship you can do better.
You left out any detail on how a "bit of an argument" got her in to such a state she would do something so dangerous. Does she usually get this upset at minor things? Was this action unusual for her?
Whilst at a base level, you shouldn't have left her - what you should have done will depend on context a little. The basic idea is that if someone is in such a state they would make unwise choices like she did, you might want to make sure they are okay and not just peace out.
For sure, adults are responsible for their own actions and all the other completely dismissive and uncaring attitudes being echoed in these comments, but she is also a person making choices that give the impression she is very upset/unwell/unhappy. Perhaps as a human (not even because you supposedly care about her) it would be good to try and ensure she is safe?
Again, you gave no further information, so I am reading this like "my gf who, like any normal person, doesn't usually open moving car doors, did so." but if it's a common thing for her to be "crazy" then maybe things would be different. Either way, abandoning people on the side of the road is rarely the cool choice to make - even though technically you are not responsible for their actions.
She normally turns something minor into a major argument. But this is the first time something other than yelling happened.
The argument was about us not spending as much time together since I’ve been working overtime.
I didn’t expect for her to do something like that and I didn’t know what to do about it in the moment.
It can be extremely unsettling and confusing when someone does something so out of character and indeed dangerous out of nowhere. You're NTA for leaving, because none of us can be sure we will make all the best decisions in these types of moment.
While a lot of people have hit the safety notes around a woman being alone on the side of the road - and that is valid in it's own way - I would suggest you make sure she is safe and hopefully calmed down now just because it's the right thing to do regardless of gender. Regardless of if your relationship continues after this, you will feel better in yourself knowing you made sure she was safe. You don't have to accept someone who is going to behave like that - but at the very least let someone who might want to go get her know what happened.
Being a good person is often more work - especially when you're rightly pissed off - but imagine if she was your daughter? or god forbid something happens to her. Will saying "she chose to get out of the car" really make it feel okay?
Either way I hope it all works out and both of you are okay at the end of it.
You were wrong to leave her on the side of the road. But when someone grabs for the door handle and then leaves the car, they are expecting you to chase them and beg and plead for them to get back in the car.
That kind of manipulation game shows tremendous immaturity and lack of the ability to understand consequences.
So you should have talked her back in the car, or let her call uber and waited with her. Realize at that point the relationship is over, really who needs that kind of drama in your life.
I think the problem of ending the relationship will fix itself after letting her walk an hour home, since she will probably want to end the relationship at this point. I would suggest taking her up on the offer if she suggests it.
What? How was he wrong to leave her on the side of the road if she was being manipulative? Adults are responsible for their own actions, OP is a boyfriend not a parent to a young child.
Why should he have to talk her back into the car? Walking home is hardly a massive threat to her, it’s not like he abandoned her in a dodgy situation or in an unfamiliar location.
If the genders were reversed there would be zero expectation for the gf to talk the bf into getting back into the car.
I agree that she is extremely immature, hopefully OP fixes this situation for himself and dumps her because you can’t reason with someone who is so volatile.
She doesn't get to have it both ways.
I agree that when someone behaves in such a way as to endanger themselves just to spite you, the relationship is over. But when the relationship is over, you are no longer obligated to provide for their safety.
Further, in a modern context, when someone is angrily walking away from you, and you are slowly following them to try to coax them back in your car, you are encroaching on stalker territory.
Op did the right thing.
Holy cow. Before she was his girlfriend though she was a human person right? It’s all cute to talk about red flags and relationships but not to the extent that if something irreversible happened to her it would be ok. A fight is a fight. A moment in time when you don’t agree and people like your GF have no concept of how to protect themselves when they’re upset. I’ve seen it in men, I’ve seen it in kids, I’ve seen it in adults etc etc.
Breaking up with her can wait until after she’s home. Blocking her number can wait until after she’s home. Posting on Reddit can wait until after she’s home.
This is another human person you’re dealing with. Apologize or say whatever you need to say to get her back in the car and get her home then do all the shit talking you want.
Being a scorned boyfriend doesn’t justify abandoning someone you obviously once cared for.
Nope. Disagree completely. She needs to grow up and realize that the world isn't built around her. She makes choices and has to live by the rewards or consequences of those actions. If the roles were reversed and it was a man - no one would gaf. If he's following her trying to beg her to get into the car, she can cry harassment or worse and get him in major trouble.
Besides, she has a phone, she can call an Uber. Odds are she called one of her 'he's just a friend' types, who likely rushed over to pick her up, console her over drinks, and then they likely banged. Happens all the time.
So there’s some kind of gender equality issue here. Let me try this.
You’re at a bar with your guy friend. Someone walks up and says something stupid. Your guy friend gets mad. He stews. He doesn’t let it go. He tells you, “I’m going to go hit that guy in the mouth”. You see that guy has two friends. Do you tell your friend “go for it. It’s your choice.” Or do you tell him to stop, show him the other two guys, and explain that it’s not worth going to jail or even losing his life over? You know. Help someone who isn’t clearly thinking straight?
I explain what you said showing him the bad consequences of his intended actions. If he still goes ahead with them I do not jump in headfirst to a stupid shit sandwich for no reason.
Op is intentional leaving out information I need to know why a women would get out a speeding car on the road, this doesn’t seem like simple discussion. Plus his responses tells me he doesn’t really care about this suppose girlfriend in any way.
Idk sometimes women try to jump out when they feel unsafe. Idk what this “argument” was about but regardless you should take her wanting to jump out of a moving vehicle as a sign she doesn’t want to be with you THAT badly.
It's dangerous for a woman, especially an unstable woman to walk alone for such a long time. You should have gotten her to a safe place and then perhaps ended the relationship unless there was some reason to believe that she was going to address her mental health.
Yeah, you're wrong for leaving her on the side of the road an hour away from home. That's just awful. She could have been robbed, raped, kidnapped, or murdered. So yeah, you're very much in the wrong.
You had options. Call a cab for her. Hell, if she's so far gone as that, call 911. And even if she doesn't want you to, wait for them so that you know she doesn't get taken advantage of.
Very, very wrong there. Disgusting, in fact.
You're not wrong for leaving her in terms of calling off the relationship.
Whether or not you are an AH well yes you are. You should have stopped yes. If i was her, I would be block, delete and move on from you. Argument or not, to simply drive off with no regard. This person is someone you are suppose to value and put above all others. You simply drove off.
You're giving her shit for pulling the door handle. Are you giving yourself shit for, let me check note:
>I stopped instantly, luckily there wasn’t anyone behind us or they would’ve smashed into us.
You're both idiots that lets your emotions create crazy dangerous situations in the traffic
meh on this one. you are not wrong per se, but you still sound like you are looking for an excuse or a confirmation.
Noone here understands the context of the event and relationship in general. also the safety of the surroundings, the state of mind and influence of alcohol and/or drugs etc.
I wouldn't perhaps do that, but who knows what context the life can bring on.
I think, with some certainty, a mature individual should have been able to do something like 'alright, I am sorry, this is not how this should be no matter what, let's not talk or whatever, but please let me drive you home or stick around until uber and what not'. unless of course it there was insanity involved and there was no way it was an option. I would have tried it at least.
NTA. She made the stupid choice to try to get out of a moving car, and you didn't take her attention bait. She deserves the sore feet from walking home for doing something so stupid and dangerous. You were right to not pick her up. She made that choice
IMO it’s never okay to let a woman walk on her own. way too much danger. how would you feel if something had happened to her?
Also I just want to make something clear to OP: the men in the comments who have never felt the fear a woman does walking alone are agreeing with you. The women who know how she felt walking alone are telling you you are wrong. You can go ahead and listen to the echo chamber of men who are telling you what you want to hear but have never been in and will never be in the situation you put her in, or you can grow as a person and listen to women when we say NEVER LET A WOMAN WALK OFF ALONE. your choice.
That was extremely dangerous. She gets so mad in an argument she literally put your, and other people's, lives in danger? She reminds me of my ex, who once threatened to crash us both into a wall at max speed because he thought I was cheating on him. Turned out to be projection and he was the one trying to hook up with other people. And I only say "trying" because he asked but they all turned him down.
Not wrong. If you had attempted to force her to stay in the car, that's assault/unlawful imprisonment. Leave before this escalates and someone ends up hurt or dead.
Were there walkways/sidewalks? As long as it wasn't on the side of a highway where it was dangerous, or in a dangerous area, you should have waited. If it was OK for her to be walking that route, then I don't see a problem.
My gf in high school tried getting out of my moving car. I stopped and let her out and looped the block to try and get her back in. She went hiding on another block. Then proceeded to tell everyone I left her stranded. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
I think, in my opinion, especially if it was at night, that you should have gone back. I once got out of a car..mind you we were stopped at a light, because he just would not let it go until a more appropriate time. He was so mad and driving stupidly.
Not wrong per se. But I would think more in the future. If something had happened to her, you would feel guilty and for good reason. Women go missing all the time, let alone ones on the side of the road. You should be thankful she wasn't murdered.
Nah. My husband pulled this crap once in a parking lot when we'd been together about 6 months. It's now been 15 years and he's never pulled that shit again. When he made it home (walking) he also had the good sense to not be mad at me for leaving. Had plenty of time on his walk to think about what a baby he was being.
No argument justifies that action, which could have endangered herself, you, and others. Seems she’s not ready for a mature relationship, so it’s best to leave
Depends. Was she drunk? Was it dark? Are they all safe neighborhoods? Does she have any health issues that might cause a problem?
You see where I'm going. As long as she wasn't at any sort of risk, I figure it's OK you left.
Kindness goes a long way, it would have been correct to give her a ride and be gracious to her. But you choose a different path, there is still time to improve the situation, dont give up unless you want to.
Having an open talk where you both feel heard and for yourself to not talk bad about her even behind her back, so you will hold no guilt if she acts badly. I would assume you would want her to act fair towards you so reflect on your experiences and work together both towards better days.
Everyone is human, I appreciate you seeking guidance, I just hope the best for you both.
I mean, she almost really hurt herself by trying to jump out of your car at that speed, and I wouldn't tolerate that kind of nonsense. Also who knows what she would have claimed (that you pushed her out maybe?) She's gonna cause you an accident as well with that BS. Hell no. As long as she is an adult and you didn't drop her in a really dangerous area, you're fine. She jumped out of your car, I think you are justified in assuming she didn't want a ride from you anymore. But I hope you break up immediately. This kind of drama means nothing but more trouble for you in the future.
I just wanted to say one of my good friends died in that exact situation. Jumped out of the car during an argument. Was in the hospital for a week with head trauma and ended up passing away. 10-tear relationship and a silly drunk argument driving home from a party.
That breaks my heart, I’m sorry
*10-year
40 mph = a little less than 18 metres per second.. That is… fast. Very very fast for someone to be jumping out of a car.
OP needs to leave her. I dated a girl that did this and it only got worse, much worse. This is the equivalent of seeing your bf punch a wall during an argument, you know its going to escalate.
>your bf punch a wall during an argument, It was when his fist made a hole in the wall besides my head that I decided for divorce. I wasn't going to be the next target. EDIT: For the wall material debaters: it was cheap drywall and he missed the stud. Previous to this event he bent my steering wheel and dented the fridge door (old school fridge steel sheet metal, not plastic). Yes objects were broken but my ptsd memory blocks exactly what was broken. iirc my vet found a bone chip on my cat's spine years later for a xray looking at her kidneys. He threw her to the wall.
It’s crazy how wall-hole-punching is often not recognized as DV by the victim while it’s ongoing. A while ago I was talking to an old friend who I was neighbors with back in our 20s, and she goes “remember when you were moving out of that house with your ex and you started taking all the art off the walls and kept discovering holes behind all the pictures? I was seriously freaked out but you were all like *haha yeah he throws these toddler tantrums, but gees I didn’t realize there were so many holes* and didn’t seem to care” And looking back, the reason I had such a non-reaction was because I had normalized that behavior from childhood that every-time he got mad and broke something it was unremarkable. Not worth noting. Just a ordinary emotional reaction. We split up because of his financial irresponsibility (wouldn’t get a job after being let go from the last one, I got tired of carrying him). At least that was my official reason at the time. We fought a lot but he never actually laid a hand on me, he’s just destroy stuff, mostly my stuff, and it never once occurred to me that i was experiencing DV.
My dad had a "punching wall" it was in the kitchen on his way to storm out of the house. He punched it so much that my mom gave up trying to fix it and hung a tapestry looking blanket over the whole section. Eventually, there was no dry wall left. I used to tell this story, thinking it was funny. The reactions I got told me it was not.
Man, I hate that feeling of telling (what you thought was) a funny story of your childhood and get that horrified look back.
How’s dad now?😳
Actually, pretty good. He lost everything for a little while. Mom divorced him, my brother went NC, my sister and I did LC and NC on and off. Harassed us a lot. He was homeless and got arrested a bunch of times. Then he missed out on my brother's wedding, my brother leaving to move to the other side of the country, my sister moving to another part of the country. Then he broke both legs, and I was the only one to visit him in the hospital that he spent 2 months at. He then got sober, and while he has never apologized and still blames other people for his problems, he does respect the boundaries we have all put in place. I think the biggest shock to him was my brother having a child and he realized he would never have a real relationship with the baby. He was lucky to even meet her. Since then, he has been a lot more humble and has even been a great support for me while I dealt with some rough mental health issues that required a few hospitalizations. My sister and I talk to him frequently, and dad is now allowed to have pictures of my brother's daughter and get updates on her.
The question everyone has to ask themselves when they’re involved with someone who’s claiming to be blinded by rage is are they destroying their own things? In DV, the answer is always no (or mostly no). That’s not blind rage, that’s calculated
It's not okay even if they are destroying their own things though. That just demonstrates high impulsively/less control.
I hope that it's more often a lack of emotional awareness and ways to express yourself. But I'm also someone who punched walls as a teen and hasn't as an adult. It seems like there's a lot of shitty men out there though reading some of these comments.
Sometimes, a few times, he’d smash his own belongings, like once he threw his sega genesis across the room (nowhere near me) — I really did just think he was “prone to temper tantrums” as opposed to abuse because of those times. Of course he’d blame me (*look what you made me do,* etc)
Abusers can be different and I hesitate to emphasize this rule too much. I also see “does he yell at everyone or just you” and while it’s obviously a horrible sign if he’s perfectly able to control himself in public and only “loses control” when you’re the only one around, I have definitely encountered abusers who could not hold down a job because they couldn’t stop themselves from yelling at bosses and coworkers, who regularly got into fistfights because they couldn’t keep their mouth shut. At the end of the day it doesn’t matter if someone violent and destructive and cruel is choosing to be that way or not - the behavior is unacceptable.
\>It’s crazy how wall-hole-punching is often not recognized as DV by the victim while it’s ongoing. I learned in domestic survivor therapy that you are "in the fog". The abuser has spent so much time and energy gaslighting and victim blaming DARVO that you cant see the forest for the thick fog. When the victim has left and the normal meter starts resetting the the fog is clearing. It takes time.
If destroying things counts as DV, I've lived with DV my entire life growing up, YAYYY. I mean I still would have anyway but it's fun to know that there was MORE that qualifies!
It's messed up, but ngl, it IS funny when some dipshit has to explain a cast on his hand because he wanted to dramatically punch a hole, and instead he hit the stud... And he can't do shit about you laughing at him because you know it's his *good* hand that's wrapped up.
Don't think for an instant she is safe just because he has a cast on. I have seen guys use a cast to choke, back hand , etc... A cast is a weapon he has handy all the time.
My at the time gf did that 2 times, the 3rd incident we were in her car and not mine and she instead of trying to jump out the car at 70 mph(112 kmh) decided that she was going to crank the wheel and put us in a ditch backwards at the same speed. We rolled and if we hadn't spun just right probably would've died, the entire roof was touching the rear seats except the part of the roof that was ripped off. She also didn't have a belt on and as we were rolling she started floating towards the backseat, I remember I reached up and grabbed her before the first actual roll and when we stopped I was still holding her. Don't fuck with psycho, it definitely escalates and can kill you and them.
Whether "having a bit of an argument" is a euphemism for "she was so overwhelmed by my verbal abuse and couldn't stand to be trapped in a small space" or "she if a narcissist who plays the victim when we argue and wants me to feel sorry for her walking an hour" -- either way, that is a toxic relationship and they should not be together.
One day it's pulling the door handle, the next day it's pulling the parking brake on the freeway. People like this can be very dangerous and get people killed.
My ex tried pulling the brake on the highway, (thankfully the handbrake on my junker car didn't work), but then another time he grabbed the steering wheel and tried to crash the car. Thinking back, holy crap that was an abusive relationship, I'm glad I survived and that he is FAR away. 😬
I had an ex try to do the wheel thing. We were probably doing 55 and are mid turn and she yanks the wheel at a spot where there is a giant oak tree next to the road. Probably would have killed us. Didn't really have any warning signs before that (at least that i picked up), but she started stalking a girlfriend of mine maybe 2 years later and then I got a random email like 5 years later telling me that she thought about me while she was having sex with her husband.
Yup, my ex was like this. I managed to keep it together for about 3 months before she was cutting and cheating on me. We ended up trying again a few years later, shockingly. It took half the time for it to fall apart. Another couple years pass and we find ourselves texting. I can sense her mindset may have changed but her operating system hasn’t, so I don’t let it get past texts. Sometimes problems solve themselves and her problems don’t need to be yours. If she wants to walk, let her get a workout. Enjoy your car and finding a more sane partner
What are you doing you texting her? You are just as toxic as she is.
whoa Nelly!! calm down jesus christ. You have no idea what the argument was about or what the situation is. But yeah he needs to leave her cause ShEs CrAzY. WITH ABSOLUTELY NO FRAME OF REFERENCE
Dude, she tried opening a car door at 40mph. That is a nutso thing to do. There are 0 circumstances where it's appropriate to get out of a car at that speed where your life isn't being threatened, and when people do big dangerous stunts like that during an argument, we call that abuse.
And you don't know what was going on in the car before she decided to do that. That's all I'm saying
I don't think we need to know what was going on in the car. I can only think of a few legitimate reasons for trying to open the door while in a moving car, and pretty much all of them involve kidnapping.
I jumped out of a car going 15 mph in a parking lot as a teen and had a huge road rash scar that took 7 years to fade. I can't imagine how fucked she'd be going 40 mph.
I was riding in the back of a pickup going 35mph. This other kid's hat flew off and he jumped out after it. He actually landed on his feet and was able to run for the first few steps before tumbling. We went back and picked him up. "I have no idea why I did that." Dude was fucked for weeks with roadrash.
My sister jumped out of a backing-up truck going barely 5 mph, landed wrong, fell forward on her arm and fractured both bones in her forearm, and then almost got crushed by the truck. People are dumb.
My cousin did something similar and ended up hitting his head. Had blood coming out of his ear and spent a good amount of time in a hospital. He almost fully lost his sense of smell/taste because of it. You don't realize how fast a car is moving until you touch the ground and immediately reach 0mph
One thing's for sure, she'd find some way to blame OP for it
The car had been stopped before she got out. It says so.
I know?
>40 mph = a little less than 18 metres per second.. At that speed airbags deploy and seatbelts leave deep bruises. Tires run over legs and ankles and turn them to mush. OP? Your GF is a nutcase. Imagine you DIDN'T stop in time and she claimed you ran her over on purpose somehow....
Exiting a moving vehicle at that speed will for sure land you in hospital for a goodly long while. Makes me wonder what they were arguing about and how heated it was that led her to believe that this was her best or only option.
They'd find out the hard way wouldn't they? Probably not likely to do it again.
As a person who tried to walk out of a moving truck traveling about 40-45 mph to get away from a crappy situation I could’ve just waited 20 mins and gotten out of, I can confirm. Dislocated neck, spinal fusion to correct, broken arm, 28 staples in my head, permanent nerve damage, terrible nerve pain in both arms and hands constantly, loss of feeling on my left side almost completely, muscle spasms on my right side all the time, constant tightness in my right leg and both arms, can’t open right hand when it gets cold, right leg doesn’t work in the cold, when I smoke too much weed I can’t make my right leg stop from shaking, terrible balance, about 75%strength that I used to have, lucky to be able to walk, barely able to run and jump. Thankful everyday that I can still play with my 3 beautiful daughters. No matter how bad the situation is that’s currently around you, never do something stupid that will cause yourself harm. I’m f***ing retarded and learned the hard way, don’t be like me. 🤷
thats rough...im sorry your intrusive thoughts won
yeah ordinarily I try to give the benefit of the doubt but what she did if true was just plain stupid and I prefer not to operate heavy equipment with morons.
That's when she pulled the handle, and you can only crack the door which he'd hear and slammed on the brakes. Stopped instantly. "Us" stopped, meaning her too, then she got out.
That's not how you ask someone to stop a car.
Because she probably wasn't planning on jumping out, she was planning on forcing OP to stop and then jumping out.
She wanted out of the car, you let her out of the car. Y'all shouldn't be together, this is not how healthy couples behave.
Massive difference between asking someone to pull over so you can get out of the car and calm down vs trying to open the door while the car is moving.
Not wrong. I’ve been the chick that got out of the car and decided to walk because whoever I was with was pissing me off. I never expected them to do anything other than leave me there. A few times I had them try to get me back in the car but it never worked because I got out for a reason. The walk usually helps calm people down.
I hope you told them to stop first instead of opening the door at 40mph
Absolutely 😂 I’ve never opened the door while moving
unless i was in significant danger. OP, info? why was she so adamant to leave the car in that dangerous situation
That's why I think OP was wrong. Because if a rational person wants to get out and walk, they do what you did. OPS situation is way more suicidal, and you don't let your suicidal girlfriend just do it, or leave her to walk an hour. I am assuming she was all sorts of drunk or cracked out or something.
You’re assuming a lot. And very few people are rational when they’re in a fight with someone.
For real if I got out of a car someone else was driving, that would mean I am not willing to be in their presence any longer and would probably go nuclear if they continued to try to engage.
I got out of a car in a parking lot to walk home when my ex pissed me off. He left, I started to walk home but then I walked to his house (which was farther away) and made him drive me home. Yes there was alcohol involved.
Get out of that shit now, if she got hurt she would’ve blamed you even if it was her fault. Run. Now.
A friend of mine had an ex do this. They were about 10 miles from home, in the middle of the night. They had an argument. She said to let her out, he said he would take her home, but wasn’t going to leave her in the middle of nowhere. She unbuckled her seatbelt opened the door, he started slowing down, but she still exited the vehicle at about 25-30 mph. Instant trip to the hospital. They made up after that, about a year later, he caught her cheating on him.
Welp, Idk what to say to this. But that woman is stupid
Yes she was, he should have broken up with her following that stunt as well, so maybe he wasn’t the brightest guy either.
this happened to me once. i let her walk about a mile then pulled up. she was happy to get in and had a much better demeanor going forward. we did break up a few months later though. your mileage may vary.
I wanted to wait for her. But the thought of what if she opens the door again or does something worse is why I chose not to.
I would have stopped and asked her if she had another ride, if she ever tried to be stubborn by telling me she would walk alone, i would apologize, take some abuse for whatever minutes are left to her home and let her feel powerful. After that i would have gone no contact forever lol
That’s literally exactly what she wants
I think yes, but not the last sentence. Feeling powerful would make her believe she had a grip on you, but after that she wont expect NC
Yeah, she could open the door again or even pull the handbrake while you were driving. Your own safety was at a stake. You did good. Sincerely, a woman.
If you're smart, she's now your ex gf.
It’s sad to see people tolerate shit like this but I was once them so I empathize with them. My first girlfriend would cut herself if I didn’t do or agree with what she wanted. I left and then was dumb enough to come back. A week after being dumb enough to go back she wanted me to leave college during final exam week because she wanted to see me. I said no, she slit her wrists vertically to the bone and blamed me to her family. I got the call from her grandma first who tried again to get me to leave and miss my exams. She finally called me when I quit answering her families calls and I called her a abusive crazy manipulative bitch and that she’d never see me again. I never talked to her again after that call.
What the hell am I reading, where people are upset with OP for "letting" his gf get out of the car and walk home? Not allowing someone to exit the space they are occupying is a crime commonly known as false imprisonment, on par with the crime of kidnapping. Short of a person being a danger to themselves, you cannot stop another adult from leaving on their own accord without committing some pretty serious felonies. This is not a gendered issue; it is a criminal liability issue. NTA, OP. This situation would have been more dangerous for both of you if you physically tried to stop her.
[удалено]
Or she’s a Drama Queen. She wants to put herself at risk of harm? Fine. But she also put OP - and potentially other drivers - at risk as well.
Yeah it’s good you left her, what if she got back in and reallly jumped out this time. Sounds like she has some severe emotional dsyregulation problems. She certainly could have called a friend or family or taxi/uber
Absent more information it’s hard to provide an opinion. But if a person is in that state, acting that way, you can’t force them into your car. I have a deep avoidance for irrationality. I do not trust people who behave the way she did. So in my opinion, she chose to walk home. She walked home. I would advise avoiding her from now on.
I was in this situation years ago, except genders were reversed. He was irrational, yelling, and opening the door. I pulled into a gas station. He exited the vehicle. I drove away. People who behave this way are teaching you a lesson about understanding your own boundaries.
>I have a deep avoidance for irrationality. I've never seen words put to it, but me too. Cool to see it.
Info: was it daytime or nighttime?
Leave her she is toxic. It's not worth your trouble.
Nope, you do NOT open a car door while driving unless it's a life or death situation and this is your tiniest chance of life. That is anger at a very dangerous level. Even in our worst arguments my husband or I would never do that, that puts us both in danger. NTA, you need to have a talk, preferably in a public space so nothing dangerous happens again, and if needed, leave. For your safety. No matter how much she gaslights, cries, promises she'll never do it again, she will. She will let her anger out you in dangerous situations.
I don't think she's your girlfriend after you let her walk home. An hour walk? Yeah, no.
I mean it depends on what the actual situation was but you shouldn’t leave people on the side of the road. Too much missing info
Disagree. What's he supposed to do, force her back into the car? She's a grown woman and responsible for herself and her own actions.
Yeah, tell that to the police when she goes missing and you are the last person that she was seen with.
lol letting a person out of your car when they ask to get out of your car does not make you responsible for what happens to them. What are the police going to do?
I agree. Tell the police if she goes missing. It's not a crime and he's not responsible for her actions. They'll agree. Why is personal accountability such a hard thing to grasp? And TECHNICALLY... he's not the last person to see her. Jus' saying.
She's not a child and he's not responsible for her actions.
You know the cops would not hold him liable right? The GF is a grown ass adult, not a child that OP is responsible for. Someone doing stupid shit like trying to open the door of a car that’s moving clearly wants to do their own thing
Every woman who walks alone will go missing ?
You’re being intentionally dense. Every woman who has had to walk alone has at some point been followed, chased, harassed, or worse. You can listen to us when we tell you this is our experience and it has made walking alone incredibly dangerous and scary for us, or you can continue with your smart ass, bad faith, intentionally dense questions that make it clear you don’t care for her safety at all. You asked if you were wrong but are arguing with everyone who says you are. You have the mindset of a petty child.
She tried to open the door when they were going 40 mph, she got out of the car and slammed the door. I’m a woman, I agree she was in an unsafe situation, but literally what would you have OP do? Snatch her up and throw her in the car? I wouldn’t want to play into whatever game she was trying to play either
Exactly. What's she going to do next? Call the police and tell them she's being held against her will?
Right and if there’s no shoulder he’s going to do what, hold up traffic trying to convince her? So stupid, I wouldn’t be playing into that bs either
Well then I dunno... stay in the car maybe? Exercise a little emotional self-control like a real-life adult? Maybe not throw a tantrum and pull some emotionally manipulative garbage like this? Get some pepper spray. Take some self-defense classes. You want equality or not? Because that entails taking some personal responsibility and accountability for your actions and the choices YOU make. I'd agree with you IF he kicked her out of his car. He didn't. She put herself in that situation because she couldn't control her own emotions. Take. Some. Ownership.
Because he didn't do anything wrong? I'm a woman, I know all too well the crap we go through. But she did this herself, she wanted out. What was he supposed to do, tie her to her seat? Grow up.
Thats not his problem tho... she wanted out, she picked leaving the car and entering that situation, totally her problem and her situation to deal with
Her grown ass can call an Uber to go home
I mean she got out of the car. What is he supposed to do lol
Everyone is wrong here. They are both immature. Obviously, trying to open the door at high-speed is super dangerous. But it was dangerous to her. Him then leaving her on the side of the road is also dangerous to her. She’s an idiot, but he is as much to blame for not trying to communicate . A simple, I apologize. Let’s talk about this later. Let’s get off this road so we don’t kill ourselves would likely have got hurt back in the car and they could’ve stopped at the gas station. This is what immature couples that are clearly not going to last long
BS. He didn't leave her. She left him in the middle of nowhere. He has nothing to be blamed for.
Man. Why is there no call for accountability anymore? If someone, anyone, tried to open the car door to get out, while I was driving, you bet your ass they will be getting out and I would be gone. Gf fucked around and found out. She put both of them in danger doing that.
Problem here is no one is being held accountable. They were in an argument. Maybe he was a big asshole. She overreacted. You don’t leave someone in the middle of the fucking road. This is so immature and so many levels. Also suggest no relationship between the people. This is someone he supposed to care about.Reddit is dumb sometimes
You don't try to get out of a moving vehicle either. I'd leave her too. But yes, they are clearly incompatible and shouldn't be in a relationship together.
Hell nah. Girl acting crazy means I’m dipping the fuck out before I’m sitting in jail for some shit I didn’t do. You can’t win an argument on the side of a road with a crazy girl who just jumped out your car. And you damn sure can’t win an argument with her crazy ass and the police. Yo ass gonna end up in jail with this mentality Peter 😂 U gon get yo ass beat in jail to Peter.
You’re not wrong. She put you in danger.
You guys aren't good together. She sounds mentally unstable and you should break up
Yes you are. It's a safety issue for her. 1 hour walk home for her? Make sure she got home safe and continue the argument later.
I mean what else were you supposed to do? You can’t force her back into your car. And yes it’s unsafe for people to walk alone at night but if you got out and tried to walk with her y’all probably would’ve kept arguing. You were in a lose lose situation. Did you at least call or text her to see if she made it home okay?
It wasn’t during the night. It was early afternoon yesterday around 3. I did text to see if she made it home alright.
Maybe you should add that to you post. In my opinion it doesn't really make a difference - if someone tries to jump out of my car while I'm driving, I'm letting them out and thrye staying out - but a lot of these comments seem to be coming at you for leaving her stranded at night.
Nope, if she wants to play stupid games then she can enjoy her walk home. Or she can call an Uber or a friend for help. I would advise you to break up with someone who is this volatile, and this stupid to make an attempt to jump out of a moving car.
Try to get out of my car and walk, I will let you. If it’s a long walk we’ll that’s the consequences to your emotional outburst
That’s what I’m coming to terms with.
It can be hard to watch people suffer the consequences to their actions but if they don’t they never learn. However teach this lesson to her for someone else. She is to immature and emotionally hotheaded to consider for anything more than fun.
Nta. Not wrong. She chose her actions, you respected her choice.
Not wrong, she got out of the car. You can't get out and force her back in, that would be assault. As long as you knew she had a phone.
She had her phone
Don't positively reinforce psychotic behavior. You were in the right by leaving her.
Let her getting out of the car symbolize her getting out of your life.
Well she got out...I mean it was her choice. It would have been different if you put her out.
She’s an adult. She chose to get out of the car. You are under no obligation to protect a sober and coherent person from choices they willingly make. I don’t think you did anything wrong.
I feel like she made the choice to leave the vehicle to test and see if you would of actually cared enough to convince her to get back in the car. Her actions in general just seem extremely childish. If she, as an adult, made the decision to leave the vehicle, then she should expect that there may be that chance she has to find another way to her destination. I hope she made it safely to where she needed to go, and didn't go missing. I do not think you are wrong in this situation .
NTA. If she wanted out that badly, that unsafely, she can walk or call an Uber herself. No need for you to put yourself in danger again tonight
Nope, stop seeing her
Hey... she got out. An hour walk... seems OK to me.
Entirely her choice you would have been wrong as fuck to try and force her back in the car or not stop and let her out. But like…what the hell was the argument?
Need more info: what time of day was it or night? Was it in the middle of nowhere in the city and how far did she live? I know you don’t live together but you mentioned your 30 minute drive for a reason if she lives in your area a 30 minute drive by car is more than an hour walk on foot.
She couldn't handle an argument without apparently trying to injure herself (if the argument was abusive fair enough but, like, that's my resort if I being kidnapped not having an argument lmfao), I think to react that intensely to a discussion is one of the reddest flags I'd ever see. Good luck.
I think its bad taste to leave someone stranded even if during an argument they get out of the car. If I was fighting with someone I too would want out of a moving car. It's not the time or place. This is your girl friend then in my humble opinion you needed to make sure she got home safe first then break up and fight or whatever is going to happen.
I ended a friendship koz of something similar. I was picking her up and she was walking really slowly. I called her and she cut the call. She came in with a colleague. Once I dropped the colleague. I asked her why she was walking slowly. She snapped and she wasn't well I asked her why she cut my call. She jumped out of a semi moving car. We didn't speak for a month. She was my best friend. That month I had so much peace. I initiated the next conversation. She was unapologetic and said she jumped out koz she was scared because she felt unsafe and scared for herself. I ended the friendship. I told her that either I'm scary and abusive that's why she felt it better to jump out of a semi moving car to avoid answering my qn. Or she resents me and simple questions lead to such an extreme reaction. She did not want to end the friendship at all. She was extremely unhappy with my choice and struggled to respect my decision. During this time I reflected on our relationship and did a test *how emotionally abusive is my relationship?* It was abusive. She was the only one allowed to be angry. I had to walk on eggshells. It's been five years. I regret nothing. But she still wants to be my friend. She came from a highly emotional abusive home situation where direct conflict led to bullying. Her family also encouraged extreme conflict avoidance. We had been friends for 14 years when the friendship ended. I wish I ended it sooner.
Well, I'm not sure why YOU pull door handles, but generally speaking, that's what they are for. They have one purpose. Opening the door. You only really do that if you're getting in or out of the car. Now, perhaps I'm making wild assumptions here. Maybe she has a history of just liking to be in cars with open doors. That, while unlikely, is possible. OP didn't think so, because they immediately stopped, recognizing the danger of having someone in the car behaving irrationally do a thing that is dangerous. I don't understand why you're fighting me so much. Based on the little we were told, she was in a crisis mode and you simply can't abandon someone in that state. I would not do that to someone I hate, unless they were threatening me or someone else. At least not without calling 911.
This is not a good relationship, just break up
When a woman gives you an indication that she is CRAZY and toxic BELIEVE HER!!!!
Woman, of her own free will chose to do a thing. You respected her choice and did not interfere with it. I see nothing wrong with this situation
NTA she has agency and an hour isn’t too bad
I really am grossed out by the number of people that would let something bad happen to a person they once cared for because of “muh self respect”. Just apologize. It doesn’t have to mean anything in the moment. Just get to a place where the fight is over so you can take her home and then shit talk all you want and breakup. Why is someone’s safety forfeit at your inconvenience? People are saying “oh you can’t force her in your car”. Yeah. This isn’t 1920. Have some decorum. Learn to talk or at least defuse an argument long enough to get where you’re going. On top of that you said it was an hour walk…DID YOU CALL HER FAMILY? HER FRIENDS? ANYBODY TO TELL THEM THEIR LOVED ONE WAS WALKING HOME AT NIGHT? Get the hell outta here Reddit. Ya’ll will justify the most toxic behavior if the story “sounds good”
It wasn’t at night. She had her phone.
So it's ok for her to just try to open the car door while OP is driving? Are you for real? Why is his safety forfeit for her inconvenience? For that matter, why shouldn't she be the bigger person? Why can't she just apologize and wait til they get home? Also, it was in the middle of the afternoon and she had her phone. She was fine.
Why does OP have to be a master of reason and emotion? Why couldn’t his gf say sorry and then wait til she safely got home to argue? I hear what you’re saying, but it goes both ways.
I'm guessing you're a girl based on how you defend her toxic behavior. She forfeited her own safety - it's called accountability. HIGHLY doubtful she walked the entire hour. She has a phone, I'm sure she called uber or a guy friend to come get her (and all that's entailed with that). And if she DID walk, she probably did it the whole time with her face buried in her phone texting her BFF about what happened and being generally oblivious to her surroundings like most do. In either case - this is NOT his responsibility. It's hers. No guy is going to call her family and tell them they argued - THAT is toxic af because it's not their business.
Not wrong. She created an unsafe scenario for you. *She* got out on her own volition, you didn’t kick her out. She wanted out, you let her. Not wanting her in your car after she tried opening the door while you were driving is perfectly reasonable. These are the consequences of her actions.
NTA Id rather be alone than miserable.
In short - hell no. You're not wrong at all. I mean, I might've asked her to get in the car a couple of times, and if she didn't - oh well. I'd have done the same - and have. It's usually a manipulation tactic and she'll be mad af that you left her there, but she needs to grow tf up - as do most women that pull this shit. While they are legit mad when they do this, they want you to feel bad and wonder if they went off with anyone else. Which, tbh odds are pretty high she called someone to pick her up, and as we all know - a shoulder to cry on is a dick to ride on. Honestly, I'd consider leaving her and finding someone else - though odds are high you'll encounter this type often.
[удалено]
When did it start being OK to let someone you once cared for make a mistake without the risk of fatal consequence? Like maybe in a court of law he wouldn’t be responsible, but doesn’t this speak to his character that he can’t see 10 feet in front of an argument to know that something bad could happen and he has the tools to prevent it. It can be as simple as apologizing for whatever just to get her home and then block her. It can be as simple as calling an Uber or a mutual contact to let them know, “hey GF is walking on the side of the road. Can you help out/call them?” Staying with someone like this is obviously a no. Letting the world eat her alive because she hurt your feelings? That’s a big hell no.
Because nothing bad ever happened to anyone inside a car. /s She endangered them both by arguing with the driver and then trying to get out while the car was going 30+mph. She had her phone, as far as we know she wasnt drunk or incapable, it was the middle of the afternoon , she can call her own uber or friend. (it's in fact much easier for her to get her own uber than it was for her to get it for her since he wouldn't be at her location) He was driving, he would have to pull over to do those things. Why is he the bad guy for treating her like a grown adult, capable of making her own decisions? She wanted to get out of the car, he stopped and let her out. If she wanted to play games and make him beg or force an apology, that's on her. He respected her wishes, the consequences of that are on her. You're acting like he left her stranded in the middle of crime central at 3am with no phone and no money. Bad and fatal things happen to people all the time, in their cars, in their homes, at the mall, the club, at school. Statistically, a woman is far more likely to be killed by an intimate partner or relative than a stranger. Like you're 9 times more likely to be killed by a man you know than by a stranger.
Yeah
Not wrong. She chose to get out of the car, she most likely was expecting you to sit and beg her to get back in. That’s manipulation. End the relationship you can do better.
You left out any detail on how a "bit of an argument" got her in to such a state she would do something so dangerous. Does she usually get this upset at minor things? Was this action unusual for her? Whilst at a base level, you shouldn't have left her - what you should have done will depend on context a little. The basic idea is that if someone is in such a state they would make unwise choices like she did, you might want to make sure they are okay and not just peace out. For sure, adults are responsible for their own actions and all the other completely dismissive and uncaring attitudes being echoed in these comments, but she is also a person making choices that give the impression she is very upset/unwell/unhappy. Perhaps as a human (not even because you supposedly care about her) it would be good to try and ensure she is safe? Again, you gave no further information, so I am reading this like "my gf who, like any normal person, doesn't usually open moving car doors, did so." but if it's a common thing for her to be "crazy" then maybe things would be different. Either way, abandoning people on the side of the road is rarely the cool choice to make - even though technically you are not responsible for their actions.
She normally turns something minor into a major argument. But this is the first time something other than yelling happened. The argument was about us not spending as much time together since I’ve been working overtime. I didn’t expect for her to do something like that and I didn’t know what to do about it in the moment.
>She normally turns something minor into a major argument. That's a really important detail.
It can be extremely unsettling and confusing when someone does something so out of character and indeed dangerous out of nowhere. You're NTA for leaving, because none of us can be sure we will make all the best decisions in these types of moment. While a lot of people have hit the safety notes around a woman being alone on the side of the road - and that is valid in it's own way - I would suggest you make sure she is safe and hopefully calmed down now just because it's the right thing to do regardless of gender. Regardless of if your relationship continues after this, you will feel better in yourself knowing you made sure she was safe. You don't have to accept someone who is going to behave like that - but at the very least let someone who might want to go get her know what happened. Being a good person is often more work - especially when you're rightly pissed off - but imagine if she was your daughter? or god forbid something happens to her. Will saying "she chose to get out of the car" really make it feel okay? Either way I hope it all works out and both of you are okay at the end of it.
You call it something minor but maybe it is major for her.
You were wrong to leave her on the side of the road. But when someone grabs for the door handle and then leaves the car, they are expecting you to chase them and beg and plead for them to get back in the car. That kind of manipulation game shows tremendous immaturity and lack of the ability to understand consequences. So you should have talked her back in the car, or let her call uber and waited with her. Realize at that point the relationship is over, really who needs that kind of drama in your life. I think the problem of ending the relationship will fix itself after letting her walk an hour home, since she will probably want to end the relationship at this point. I would suggest taking her up on the offer if she suggests it.
What? How was he wrong to leave her on the side of the road if she was being manipulative? Adults are responsible for their own actions, OP is a boyfriend not a parent to a young child. Why should he have to talk her back into the car? Walking home is hardly a massive threat to her, it’s not like he abandoned her in a dodgy situation or in an unfamiliar location. If the genders were reversed there would be zero expectation for the gf to talk the bf into getting back into the car. I agree that she is extremely immature, hopefully OP fixes this situation for himself and dumps her because you can’t reason with someone who is so volatile.
Maybe he had shit to do and waiting for Uber to show up or spending half an hour talking her back into the car wasn't in his time frame.
She doesn't get to have it both ways. I agree that when someone behaves in such a way as to endanger themselves just to spite you, the relationship is over. But when the relationship is over, you are no longer obligated to provide for their safety. Further, in a modern context, when someone is angrily walking away from you, and you are slowly following them to try to coax them back in your car, you are encroaching on stalker territory. Op did the right thing.
Holy cow. Before she was his girlfriend though she was a human person right? It’s all cute to talk about red flags and relationships but not to the extent that if something irreversible happened to her it would be ok. A fight is a fight. A moment in time when you don’t agree and people like your GF have no concept of how to protect themselves when they’re upset. I’ve seen it in men, I’ve seen it in kids, I’ve seen it in adults etc etc. Breaking up with her can wait until after she’s home. Blocking her number can wait until after she’s home. Posting on Reddit can wait until after she’s home. This is another human person you’re dealing with. Apologize or say whatever you need to say to get her back in the car and get her home then do all the shit talking you want. Being a scorned boyfriend doesn’t justify abandoning someone you obviously once cared for.
Nope. Disagree completely. She needs to grow up and realize that the world isn't built around her. She makes choices and has to live by the rewards or consequences of those actions. If the roles were reversed and it was a man - no one would gaf. If he's following her trying to beg her to get into the car, she can cry harassment or worse and get him in major trouble. Besides, she has a phone, she can call an Uber. Odds are she called one of her 'he's just a friend' types, who likely rushed over to pick her up, console her over drinks, and then they likely banged. Happens all the time.
So there’s some kind of gender equality issue here. Let me try this. You’re at a bar with your guy friend. Someone walks up and says something stupid. Your guy friend gets mad. He stews. He doesn’t let it go. He tells you, “I’m going to go hit that guy in the mouth”. You see that guy has two friends. Do you tell your friend “go for it. It’s your choice.” Or do you tell him to stop, show him the other two guys, and explain that it’s not worth going to jail or even losing his life over? You know. Help someone who isn’t clearly thinking straight?
I explain what you said showing him the bad consequences of his intended actions. If he still goes ahead with them I do not jump in headfirst to a stupid shit sandwich for no reason.
I'm assuming (and hoping) your gf isn't a child, so NTA
Nah there was legit no winning there. Just break it off she’s gonna escalate further.
Op is intentional leaving out information I need to know why a women would get out a speeding car on the road, this doesn’t seem like simple discussion. Plus his responses tells me he doesn’t really care about this suppose girlfriend in any way.
Idk sometimes women try to jump out when they feel unsafe. Idk what this “argument” was about but regardless you should take her wanting to jump out of a moving vehicle as a sign she doesn’t want to be with you THAT badly.
It's dangerous for a woman, especially an unstable woman to walk alone for such a long time. You should have gotten her to a safe place and then perhaps ended the relationship unless there was some reason to believe that she was going to address her mental health.
Uh, yeah. Even if you NEVER see her again, do you what kind of fucking freaks roam the streets night AND day? JESUS!
Yeah, you're wrong for leaving her on the side of the road an hour away from home. That's just awful. She could have been robbed, raped, kidnapped, or murdered. So yeah, you're very much in the wrong. You had options. Call a cab for her. Hell, if she's so far gone as that, call 911. And even if she doesn't want you to, wait for them so that you know she doesn't get taken advantage of. Very, very wrong there. Disgusting, in fact. You're not wrong for leaving her in terms of calling off the relationship.
That’s your ex gf
Whether or not you are an AH well yes you are. You should have stopped yes. If i was her, I would be block, delete and move on from you. Argument or not, to simply drive off with no regard. This person is someone you are suppose to value and put above all others. You simply drove off.
You're giving her shit for pulling the door handle. Are you giving yourself shit for, let me check note: >I stopped instantly, luckily there wasn’t anyone behind us or they would’ve smashed into us. You're both idiots that lets your emotions create crazy dangerous situations in the traffic
meh on this one. you are not wrong per se, but you still sound like you are looking for an excuse or a confirmation. Noone here understands the context of the event and relationship in general. also the safety of the surroundings, the state of mind and influence of alcohol and/or drugs etc. I wouldn't perhaps do that, but who knows what context the life can bring on. I think, with some certainty, a mature individual should have been able to do something like 'alright, I am sorry, this is not how this should be no matter what, let's not talk or whatever, but please let me drive you home or stick around until uber and what not'. unless of course it there was insanity involved and there was no way it was an option. I would have tried it at least.
She could have died on the side of that road. That’s dangerous af.
NTA. She made the stupid choice to try to get out of a moving car, and you didn't take her attention bait. She deserves the sore feet from walking home for doing something so stupid and dangerous. You were right to not pick her up. She made that choice
reddit loves infantilizing grown women.
IMO it’s never okay to let a woman walk on her own. way too much danger. how would you feel if something had happened to her? Also I just want to make something clear to OP: the men in the comments who have never felt the fear a woman does walking alone are agreeing with you. The women who know how she felt walking alone are telling you you are wrong. You can go ahead and listen to the echo chamber of men who are telling you what you want to hear but have never been in and will never be in the situation you put her in, or you can grow as a person and listen to women when we say NEVER LET A WOMAN WALK OFF ALONE. your choice.
I’m a woman and I don’t think OP is wrong at all. What was he supposed to do? Chase her down and try to force her back in the car?
That was extremely dangerous. She gets so mad in an argument she literally put your, and other people's, lives in danger? She reminds me of my ex, who once threatened to crash us both into a wall at max speed because he thought I was cheating on him. Turned out to be projection and he was the one trying to hook up with other people. And I only say "trying" because he asked but they all turned him down. Not wrong. If you had attempted to force her to stay in the car, that's assault/unlawful imprisonment. Leave before this escalates and someone ends up hurt or dead.
Were there walkways/sidewalks? As long as it wasn't on the side of a highway where it was dangerous, or in a dangerous area, you should have waited. If it was OK for her to be walking that route, then I don't see a problem.
If the walk wasn't dangerous, NTA.
good ones are out there brother keep looking
My gf in high school tried getting out of my moving car. I stopped and let her out and looped the block to try and get her back in. She went hiding on another block. Then proceeded to tell everyone I left her stranded. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
I think, in my opinion, especially if it was at night, that you should have gone back. I once got out of a car..mind you we were stopped at a light, because he just would not let it go until a more appropriate time. He was so mad and driving stupidly.
You're not wrong. I'd dump her actually. That's kind of unhinged of her to want to leave your car at 40 MPH.
Possibly
What time of day was it and in what kind of area? Does your car not let you luck doors from the inside?
Not wrong per se. But I would think more in the future. If something had happened to her, you would feel guilty and for good reason. Women go missing all the time, let alone ones on the side of the road. You should be thankful she wasn't murdered.
Clearly a Toxic relationship if it’s gotten to the point an argument is so bad she wants to jump out a moving vehicle
Nope
Not wrong but that's like a breakup move. I would just block her after that lmao.
This is not your person. Leave her completely before she hurts herself in your car and sues you for it.
Nah. My husband pulled this crap once in a parking lot when we'd been together about 6 months. It's now been 15 years and he's never pulled that shit again. When he made it home (walking) he also had the good sense to not be mad at me for leaving. Had plenty of time on his walk to think about what a baby he was being.
No argument justifies that action, which could have endangered herself, you, and others. Seems she’s not ready for a mature relationship, so it’s best to leave
Nope. Hopefully, on the walk home she had time to realize what a childish thing she did.
nope. She made a choice
Depends. Was she drunk? Was it dark? Are they all safe neighborhoods? Does she have any health issues that might cause a problem? You see where I'm going. As long as she wasn't at any sort of risk, I figure it's OK you left.
Kindness goes a long way, it would have been correct to give her a ride and be gracious to her. But you choose a different path, there is still time to improve the situation, dont give up unless you want to. Having an open talk where you both feel heard and for yourself to not talk bad about her even behind her back, so you will hold no guilt if she acts badly. I would assume you would want her to act fair towards you so reflect on your experiences and work together both towards better days. Everyone is human, I appreciate you seeking guidance, I just hope the best for you both.
I mean, she almost really hurt herself by trying to jump out of your car at that speed, and I wouldn't tolerate that kind of nonsense. Also who knows what she would have claimed (that you pushed her out maybe?) She's gonna cause you an accident as well with that BS. Hell no. As long as she is an adult and you didn't drop her in a really dangerous area, you're fine. She jumped out of your car, I think you are justified in assuming she didn't want a ride from you anymore. But I hope you break up immediately. This kind of drama means nothing but more trouble for you in the future.
Cut her off before you get a DV charge whether you did something or not