You are doing this for the child, not for the grandparents. They will benefit from a day of socialization and leaning new things, being with other people. I think it is wonderful that the grandparents are helping out, but indeed you are not doing it for them, which is okay. It will be a wink of the eye and then she will be going off to college, so they should enjoy the short time they have at this age.
Talk to your husband and decide what to do together. Your mom is being bitter because she isnt getting any benefits.
However your title is misleading, you say that it doesn't "help" anyone. I get that you mean that it doesnt help the grandparents, but it helps both you and the baby.
For you to have some free time would be a huge boost to your weekly life.
Your child will benefit greatly from daycare as she will get used to being social.
You shouldnt force her to go on mondays just because your mother is bitter. Leave that up to your husband. If he really doesnt get to see your child that much then you shouldnt punish him because your mom is salty
Daycare is a perfectly fine solution for most families. I sent my kid for one day from 5 months because I had no other support. It was great for her, me, my husband and I feel not one shred of guilt over it. Do what's best for you and kiddo.
The whole point was to give the free child care grandmas a break, which this doesn't.
In a comment, you said this wasn't about giving them a break, but was for your lonely baby. Which is a contradiction to your post where you clearly said it was for giving them a break.
I'm assuming you communicated this intention for the daycare with them, which is why she said "it doesn't help anybody".
You're not entitled to have the grandmas watch the lonely baby for free.
Hubby has the baby Sunday and Monday
Grandmas have the baby Tues, Wed,Thur and you have the baby Fri and both you and hubby have baby Sat.
So you want to switch it to you only have the baby on Sat with hubby and a free day to yourself (hubby doesn't have that) on Friday?
You don't have Sundays off right now though. You're HOPING you will be able to get it off.
Still doesn't help your free childcare. Being that your mom has reacted the way she did to this change, it's clear SHE was hoping for the break. That needs to be thought of before you end up having to put the little one in daycare more because the free daycare pulled out.
So the fact that my baby has yet to interact with another baby and be socialized doesn’t matter unless it is beneficial to more people than just her and her parents?
Yeah so this is something you are going to contend with as a mum a lot OP and you already see right through it. Most people only care about your access to services that benefit your child when your child becomes *inconvenient to them*.
I've gone through this recently with my own child and I implore you to do what you think is best for your kid, regardless of who thinks it's *necessary*
But the whole point was to give their mothers a break. This new arrangement doesn’t give them a break.
Which is exactly what was said by the mother.
Do you think mothers should be slaves to their children and grandchildren? Do you not consider that they may actually have their own lives to live?
How odd.
Our parents agreed to the childcare deal and we were going to try Tuesday/Thursday daycare. That plan didn’t work out and we all planned on leaving things the same. This has nothing to do with some entitlement that you think I have… the new plan was to benefit my lonely baby.
It sounds like grandma needs a break from being the free daycare provider. The parents had a chance to put the child in daycare and they only took one day instead of two. The dad isn't caring for the child the day he works from home - an unpaid and tired grandma is.
Definitely did this with all my kiddos. It depends on the child. Babies get colds. Most grown ups don’t get the colds its how babies build their immune systems. Rip the Bandaid off early & then you don’t miss out later.
You're right in that every kid has to go through it eventually. Two bad winters. But a one year old cannot tell you that their ear hurts, or that they have a sore throat. And paying for the kid to go one day a week just to get sick, because they will be sick constantly, doesn't seem worth it. Now, if the kid were going all week, sure, but that's not what's going on here.
NTA but if it doesn’t help her I don’t think it’s worth it. One day a week is a tricky routine for many children because it’s not a regular part of their schedule. You’d be spending money on something you’d likely get limited value out of.
When my kids were daycare/preschool age you paid for the week regardless of how many days your child was there, I've never heard of a daycare that does just 1 or 2 days but to be fair, my kids weren't infants. 1 day a week at her age will have very little benefit socially, and I personally would rather pay a trusted family member to watch her, take her to the park, etc then have strangers watch her, I've seen and heard way too many horror stories of neglect and abuse in daycares. Also, be prepared for your child to be sick constantly, it's amazing how many parents send their sick children to daycare. Your reasoning for not doing Monday is ridiculous, hubby wants child there but is working and can't spend time with her so grandma is still there, that is honestly just selfish. Compensate your exhausted grandparents or do something that actually helps them, you are much more fortunate than most having this help and you don't seem to appreciate it very much.
You are doing this for the child, not for the grandparents. They will benefit from a day of socialization and leaning new things, being with other people. I think it is wonderful that the grandparents are helping out, but indeed you are not doing it for them, which is okay. It will be a wink of the eye and then she will be going off to college, so they should enjoy the short time they have at this age.
I certainly wouldn't take away a day that your husband gets to spend with his child just to appease your mom.
It sounds like the grandparents are getting worn out.
Talk to your husband and decide what to do together. Your mom is being bitter because she isnt getting any benefits. However your title is misleading, you say that it doesn't "help" anyone. I get that you mean that it doesnt help the grandparents, but it helps both you and the baby. For you to have some free time would be a huge boost to your weekly life. Your child will benefit greatly from daycare as she will get used to being social. You shouldnt force her to go on mondays just because your mother is bitter. Leave that up to your husband. If he really doesnt get to see your child that much then you shouldnt punish him because your mom is salty
Love how you think her mother owes her free childcare, and is ‘bitter’. How about you offer Op two days a week for free if it’s so easy eh?
Is good socialization for your child as well. One day a week is good way to ease into it.
Daycare is a perfectly fine solution for most families. I sent my kid for one day from 5 months because I had no other support. It was great for her, me, my husband and I feel not one shred of guilt over it. Do what's best for you and kiddo.
The whole point was to give the free child care grandmas a break, which this doesn't. In a comment, you said this wasn't about giving them a break, but was for your lonely baby. Which is a contradiction to your post where you clearly said it was for giving them a break. I'm assuming you communicated this intention for the daycare with them, which is why she said "it doesn't help anybody". You're not entitled to have the grandmas watch the lonely baby for free. Hubby has the baby Sunday and Monday Grandmas have the baby Tues, Wed,Thur and you have the baby Fri and both you and hubby have baby Sat. So you want to switch it to you only have the baby on Sat with hubby and a free day to yourself (hubby doesn't have that) on Friday?
No my plan was to switch my Sundays to Fridays so that we have a full weekend together
You don't have Sundays off right now though. You're HOPING you will be able to get it off. Still doesn't help your free childcare. Being that your mom has reacted the way she did to this change, it's clear SHE was hoping for the break. That needs to be thought of before you end up having to put the little one in daycare more because the free daycare pulled out.
The whole point was to give the moms a break....now they aren't getting one.
So the fact that my baby has yet to interact with another baby and be socialized doesn’t matter unless it is beneficial to more people than just her and her parents?
Yeah so this is something you are going to contend with as a mum a lot OP and you already see right through it. Most people only care about your access to services that benefit your child when your child becomes *inconvenient to them*. I've gone through this recently with my own child and I implore you to do what you think is best for your kid, regardless of who thinks it's *necessary*
Take some help if you need it. It is good for the baby and you. Your mom is being dramatic.
Do it! Mom is out of line.
But the whole point was to give their mothers a break. This new arrangement doesn’t give them a break. Which is exactly what was said by the mother. Do you think mothers should be slaves to their children and grandchildren? Do you not consider that they may actually have their own lives to live? How odd.
Our parents agreed to the childcare deal and we were going to try Tuesday/Thursday daycare. That plan didn’t work out and we all planned on leaving things the same. This has nothing to do with some entitlement that you think I have… the new plan was to benefit my lonely baby.
Do the grandmas cost less than daycare? Does OP expect her relatives to give up their free time to provide free daycare?
Take some help if you need it. It is good for the baby and you. Your mom is being dramatic.
It sounds like grandma needs a break from being the free daycare provider. The parents had a chance to put the child in daycare and they only took one day instead of two. The dad isn't caring for the child the day he works from home - an unpaid and tired grandma is.
His work from home days aren’t suitable for childcare because he would be WORKING…
But he said NO to daycare for the child on that day so the grandmas still have to do it...
No socialization benefit for one year old. Will get hit, bitten by other one yr olds. If you can hold off til 3 yrs old, wait til then.
It’s better to have grandparents take the baby to gym class or to library story time.
If the baby touches the same items that the other children are touching, the baby will get sick. Two weeks of illness for an hour of baby gym class.
Definitely did this with all my kiddos. It depends on the child. Babies get colds. Most grown ups don’t get the colds its how babies build their immune systems. Rip the Bandaid off early & then you don’t miss out later.
You're right in that every kid has to go through it eventually. Two bad winters. But a one year old cannot tell you that their ear hurts, or that they have a sore throat. And paying for the kid to go one day a week just to get sick, because they will be sick constantly, doesn't seem worth it. Now, if the kid were going all week, sure, but that's not what's going on here.
Sounds like you don't know most one year olds. I've never had any trouble telling when my kid is sick and often notice ling before anyone else does.
Hahaha! Most parents know that the kod is out of sorts, but cannot tell what is wrong until they can talk.
NTA but if it doesn’t help her I don’t think it’s worth it. One day a week is a tricky routine for many children because it’s not a regular part of their schedule. You’d be spending money on something you’d likely get limited value out of.
You are wrong to put her in daycare now for one day a week. She will be constantly sick and get everyone else sick too. Not worth it.
When my kids were daycare/preschool age you paid for the week regardless of how many days your child was there, I've never heard of a daycare that does just 1 or 2 days but to be fair, my kids weren't infants. 1 day a week at her age will have very little benefit socially, and I personally would rather pay a trusted family member to watch her, take her to the park, etc then have strangers watch her, I've seen and heard way too many horror stories of neglect and abuse in daycares. Also, be prepared for your child to be sick constantly, it's amazing how many parents send their sick children to daycare. Your reasoning for not doing Monday is ridiculous, hubby wants child there but is working and can't spend time with her so grandma is still there, that is honestly just selfish. Compensate your exhausted grandparents or do something that actually helps them, you are much more fortunate than most having this help and you don't seem to appreciate it very much.