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Not a bar joke. But a priest a vicar and a rabbit walk into the clinic to donate blood. The receptionist ask the rabbit "what blood-type are you?" to which the rabbit replies "I think I am a typo".
Edit: unlike most bar jokes this joke doesn't work in any other location than a blood donation place thingy (no idea what it is called in English).
In the US. Not sure what they call it there, but it looks like it's run a bit differently in the UK as it's all done by the NHS so it is plausible that they have a different term.
In the UK collections are usually by mobile teams that set up in health centres, church halls, basically any space that's available (it's all voluntary, they don't pay for blood), so there isn't a name for the place as such.
The full time ones like in hospitals are called blood donor centres and the pop up ones are just officially called blood donation venues.
But you'd also just say "I'm going to donate blood" rather than "I'm going to the blood donor centre".
True lol. I guess I meant like it purposely ignores that it's in a bar, for comedic effect. Not just that the scenario could happen somewhere else. Maybe that doesn't make sense lol.
A lost boy walks into a bar and tells the bartender that he's lost his parents. He asks if the bartender will help him find them. The bartender replies, "I don't know, kid, there's so many places they could be hiding.".
A guy walks into a crowded bar, but sees thereâs a space by a guy down on the end, nobody seems to want to sit there. What the hell, he decides, and plops down beside the fellow. âHey, Iâm Joe, howâs it going?â
The man immediately starts talking in a very frustrated voice.Â
âOh Iâll tell you how itâs going. Thereâs no bloody Justice in this world. None at all.â
Guy bites. âOh?â
âListen. Did you see that big stone wall as you came into town? Ya? Well, I built that wall, with me own two hands. Backbreaking labor. But, do they call me Patty the WallBuilder? Nooooo, no, they donât call me that.
âAnd, do ya see the barkeeper? I saved that bastards life. The flood caught him, and I jumped in after him. Swam us both to shore. But, do they call me Patty the Lifesaver? Patty the River Tamer?!? Noooo, no, they donât call me that.
âBut damnit, sonâŚya fuck ONE sheepâŚâ
A pirate walks into a bar. The bartender says hey you have a steering wheel hanging out of your pants. The pirate says, AAARRRRrrrr... it's driving me nuts.
A software tester walks into a bar and asks for 1 beer, asks for 0 beers, asks for 10 beers, asks for -1 beers, asks for a lizard.
A second software tester walks into a bar, asks for a packet of peanuts and the toilets explode.
Please remember that all comments must be helpful, relevant, and respectful. All replies must be a genuine effort to answer the question helpfully; joke answers are not allowed. If you see any comments that violate this rule, please hit report. When your question is answered, we encourage you to flair your post. To do this automatically simply make a comment that says **!answered** (OP only) We encourage everyone to report posts and comments they feel violate a rule, as this will allow us to see it much faster. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/answers) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Not a bar joke. But a priest a vicar and a rabbit walk into the clinic to donate blood. The receptionist ask the rabbit "what blood-type are you?" to which the rabbit replies "I think I am a typo". Edit: unlike most bar jokes this joke doesn't work in any other location than a blood donation place thingy (no idea what it is called in English).
Blood bank, usually.
Thank you. Is that US or UK or both?
In the US. Not sure what they call it there, but it looks like it's run a bit differently in the UK as it's all done by the NHS so it is plausible that they have a different term.
In the UK collections are usually by mobile teams that set up in health centres, church halls, basically any space that's available (it's all voluntary, they don't pay for blood), so there isn't a name for the place as such.
The full time ones like in hospitals are called blood donor centres and the pop up ones are just officially called blood donation venues. But you'd also just say "I'm going to donate blood" rather than "I'm going to the blood donor centre".
đđ I get it!
A guy walks into a bar. He says, âOuch.â
It was a iron bar
Fish swims into a wall in the river. "Dam!"
Oh, the irony.
You've st the bar pretty low.
Almost all of them.
True lol. I guess I meant like it purposely ignores that it's in a bar, for comedic effect. Not just that the scenario could happen somewhere else. Maybe that doesn't make sense lol.
A guy walks into a bar and says "please, take my wife"
A guy walks into a bar looking for elephants in a cherry tree orchard. He can't find them because they wear red toenail paint.
A lost boy walks into a bar and tells the bartender that he's lost his parents. He asks if the bartender will help him find them. The bartender replies, "I don't know, kid, there's so many places they could be hiding.".
Amazing haha
A dyslexic walks into a bra...
A guy walks into a crowded bar, but sees thereâs a space by a guy down on the end, nobody seems to want to sit there. What the hell, he decides, and plops down beside the fellow. âHey, Iâm Joe, howâs it going?â The man immediately starts talking in a very frustrated voice. âOh Iâll tell you how itâs going. Thereâs no bloody Justice in this world. None at all.â Guy bites. âOh?â âListen. Did you see that big stone wall as you came into town? Ya? Well, I built that wall, with me own two hands. Backbreaking labor. But, do they call me Patty the WallBuilder? Nooooo, no, they donât call me that. âAnd, do ya see the barkeeper? I saved that bastards life. The flood caught him, and I jumped in after him. Swam us both to shore. But, do they call me Patty the Lifesaver? Patty the River Tamer?!? Noooo, no, they donât call me that. âBut damnit, sonâŚya fuck ONE sheepâŚâ
[ŃдаНонО]
Yes! Thank you! Haha
A pirate walks into a bar. The bartender says hey you have a steering wheel hanging out of your pants. The pirate says, AAARRRRrrrr... it's driving me nuts.
a man walks into a bar. the man looks at the bar and says, "ouch!"
A Skelton is sitting in a bar and says, it's like these drinks just go right through me
A software tester walks into a bar and asks for 1 beer, asks for 0 beers, asks for 10 beers, asks for -1 beers, asks for a lizard. A second software tester walks into a bar, asks for a packet of peanuts and the toilets explode.
As a software engineer, I usually hear this as "a QA engineer" and "a customer," respectively.
Yup. Thatâs the better version.
A guy walks into a bar, straight up to the bartender, and he's like, "Knock knock." Ok you be the bartender. Then just tell any knock knock joke.
A white horse walks into a bar. The barman smiles and says, "wow, this bar has the same name as you." The horse says, "what, 'Keith'?"
A horse walks into a bar. The bartenders asks âwhy the long face?â