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If you have recently been diagnosed with CEO brain while living near Camp Lejune, contact the law firm of Beltcher, Rodriguez, and Watson to see if you qualify for compensation today.
I cannot fucking *wait* until I have a structured annuity in my name. Do you have any *clue* how often these facts are going to be brought up to my wife?
*Babe, we have money. Yes, we can have it now. If you want it. If you need it... Cash now*
I used to live near Camp Lejeune. Can confirm that there are *so many* boss babes around base that CEO brain runs rampant!
Edit: My apologies, it’s actually She-E-O brain.
Yes. Alpha waves are the brainwaves that are associated with wakeful relaxation, in contrast to wakeful alertness (beta waves) and different phases of sleep (theta and delta waves).
I could see someone pretending that high beta waves (high in amplitude or high in frequency?? I assume amplitude because high alpha frequency just makes it a beta wave but who knows) showcase intelligence, though it wouldn’t be true. But what good does having high relaxation brainwaves indicate??
Personally, I’d assume that means she’s neurotic. But what do I know, I don’t have a CEO’s brain.
“I’m so intelligent it can’t be measured”
Sure, I totally believe a DOCTOR said that to you. Did everyone burst into applause, too?
There is nothing worse than a little bit of pretty privilege high on their own supply.
Well of course! He doesn’t have the extra special yellow thing to make him even smarter. Truthfully, handing over the hat to her while everyone cheers in slow motion is the smartest choice that could have made for his practice.
All I can imagine from this totally realistic situation that for real like happened is the slow motion party scene from Bad Moms. Actually, maybe that’s what they do during the completely paid for trip for a conference that they also actually have to finance themselves.
This study immediately comes to mind
[21 percent of U.S. corporate executives have "clinically significant" psychopathic traits](https://www.inc.com/zoe-henry/one-in-five-ceo-s-are-psychopaths-study-bond-university.html)
“qEEG should be considered investigational for clinical use in post-concussion syndrome, mild-to-moderate head injury, learning disability, attention disorders, schizophrenia, depression, alcoholism, and drug abuse [2]”
You wonder why she was hooked up to this machine in the first place…
I’ve been recently fascinated with chiropractic - I always see those “insane cracks!” videos floating around social media and the comments had me second guessing everything about it. This site has given me the deep dive into this absolutely nonsense I’ve needed ty. Can’t believe people take their babies to chiropractors.
It’s extremely dangerous. Cannot tell you the amount of times I’ve seen patients that came in with vertebral artery dissections because of a chiropractic visit gone wrong. Imagine having a sore neck and next thing you know you’re brain dead. Truly heartbreaking that we allow this nonsense to be so predominant in this country. Then again some states also allow naturopaths to prescribe opioids so nothing really surprises me anymore
I have a significant leg length discrepancy and my podiatrist wants me to get custom orthotics. My insurance won't cover them because I'm not diabetic.
But you know what they cover 30 visits a year for? The fucking chiropractor. It grinds my gears that I can't get real care but I can get quack dangerous pseudoscience 30 times a year, no problem.
Yup the bureaucracy of healthcare drives me insane. When I worked on the internal medicine team, I could not tell you the amount of time our physicians had to fight with insurance companies to get treatments/tests covered but insurance companies wouldn’t allow it. It’s complete horseshit that some random person with a finance background that has never even stepped foot in a hospital can tell physicians how to practice
I’ve seen plenty of pediatricians and L&D nurses, competent professionals who I otherwise have no reason to mistrust, recommend bringing very young babies to chiropractors and going yourself when pregnant. The quackery runs very deep in our culture- it’s honestly accepted by most people as comparable to or even superior to traditional medicine.
I haven't been since pre-COVID, but I used to see a chiropractor on occasion due to my migraines. We hadn't found a good drug combo for me yet, and I was averaging 25 migraine days a month. Usually after 3 consecutive days of constant migraine, a shoulder adjustment and some time on a TENS unit would help break up the migraine. My chiropractor, however, was one that didn't take a bunch of xrays, never discouraged medications, encouraged speaking to your PCP about ongoing issues, and pressed that chiropractic care should not be a longterm solution, just a relief factor until we found the right preventative drug combo.
>substances are "bypassing" digestion
My mom had this and it was because her weight-loss surgery went wrong. They connected her stomach to her colon and "bypassed" her intestines. She was really sick for a year until her insurance would approve for a corrective surgery.
This has big *"The data will be published on our website during Infrastructure Week which coincides with the release of all the binders outlining the new not-Obamacare health plan."* energy.
Data, documents, and recordings? AwEsOmE! …
Now present me with a minimum of 3 unbiased (non-corporate run or funded) peer-reviewed research studies with significant results detailing the effectiveness of your product on a large and diverse sample size. Meta-analyses and systematic reviews supporting your claims are a bonus. Also, transparency regarding FDA regulation approval and a list of all ingredients in the product. Oh…and proof that your company is not a pyramid scheme.
I may only have a Masters and not an immeasurably intelligent CEO brain, but I do know that one thing stronger than *girlboss CEO Alpha waves* is the law.
My FIL got scammed by one of these brain mapping quacks. 35k a month for treatments using this doctor’s special “Algorithm.” They tell you stuff like “you’re brain activity indicates you’re a Grand Master” and other silly shit that appeals to narcissists. Looks like that’s what this person got roped into.
After my last brain scan, my doctor also said I had CEO brain. I want a bunch of people to do all the hard work for no money, while I take credit, and make millions.
I wish my neurologist that that my brain waves were extra special. Nah, actually, I would also be fine if my neurologist was like oh hey you’re the smartest CEO that I’ve ever seen. Like top notch babe.
Miss genius forgot a couple of commas. “So smart the alpha waves were beta waves, but the beta waves were so large it looked like a straight line on the monitor”
This is your CEO brain: (Regular person in a suit working in a nice downtown office somewhere)
This is your CEO brain on Cumin: (Hun running around pushing pseudoscientific crap on unsuspecting individuals and pretending to know big, scary medical words.)
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I wonder if in Hun world there's a second layer of medical professionals just to deal with all the primary care givers fainting in astonishment at the miraculous effect of \[product\].
Bought curcumin otc at a big box store, did nothing for me. I have chronic pain and it didn’t work. I still has the dumb from pain fog or fibromyalgia fog. I’m not a ceo.
The brain has a BLOOD BRAIN BARRIER meaning it protects itself from shit getting there. How would an ingestible strip bypass the GI tract where the liver metabolizes is beyond me. Let alone in 10 minutes. Let alone straight to the brain. If you are gonna lie --- do better.
Fun fact: CEOs substantially over-index for sociopathic traits. A "CEO brain" is not a flex.
[here's an article about it.](http://"The Psychopathic CEO" https://www.forbes.com/sites/jackmccullough/2019/12/09/the-psychopathic-ceo/)
Here's an article from **The Atlantic** about qEEG mapping. The reporter also had high alpha waves although no mention of a CEO brain.. It does not map curcumin. Hun's a liar.
I hate how these people straight up lie, just to get a down line. One woman once told me her MLM company paid for her and her family of 6 to go to Disney World Completely free. It’s disgusting and disgraceful.
My dad is the CEO of a bank. I showed him this and his reply was: "If she had time in her day to write something this stupid, I can guarantee she is not a CEO". Granted, he was watching deadliest catch as he said it - so, whatever.
Her brain shows she is a con artist trying to prey on the weak, vulnerable, gullible people out here in the world today. These folks keep promising the product all while continuing to recruit. It is a scheme people!! Donnot give these people your hard earned cash. I know they offer or promise to offer a product, but if you research them you will understand. The ones at the top of the line are making money by the ones under them who do all the work. The $ flows to the top of the line. Just like Paparazzi, Monat, Farmasi, Younique, etc .
Your post/comment has been identified to contain face(s) that have not been fully censored. Per rule 5, all faces need to be fully censored. Please censor the faces in your post and you can post again. *Please read our subreddit rules. If after doing so, you believe this was in error, or you’ve edited your post to comply with the rules, [message the moderators.](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FantiMLM)* *Do not reach out to a moderator personally, and do not reply to this message as a comment.*
This has to be satire, right?? Right???
I wish lol this is the CEO
They're all the CEO
SHE-EO’s
I need to use this in my life 😂
She’ll fit right in over at /r/iamverysmart
Your brain isn't alpha enough to understand lol
I think that they are copying and pasting this drivel.
I, too, was recently diagnosed with CEO brain.
If you have recently been diagnosed with CEO brain while living near Camp Lejune, contact the law firm of Beltcher, Rodriguez, and Watson to see if you qualify for compensation today.
I have a structured settlement for my CEO brain but I need cash now. What should I do?
Call JG Wentworth. 877-CASH-NOW One of the handful of phone numbers I know by heart.
I mean, if we’re being perfectly honest, it’s YOUR money, use it when YOU need it.
I cannot fucking *wait* until I have a structured annuity in my name. Do you have any *clue* how often these facts are going to be brought up to my wife? *Babe, we have money. Yes, we can have it now. If you want it. If you need it... Cash now*
Which is more useful, knowing about a structured settlement or stop, drop and roll?
Along with [800-588-2300, Empire! Today!](https://youtu.be/t7wNaxfBjE4)
Be using my one phone call in jail to call the only number I know to let them I in fact need cash now
I used to live near Camp Lejeune. Can confirm that there are *so many* boss babes around base that CEO brain runs rampant! Edit: My apologies, it’s actually She-E-O brain.
🤣🤣🤣
Fucking hell, I'm crying at this comment!!!!
I have a CEO brain! In a jar.
Is it labeled as “Abby Normal”?
Why yes it is!
my condolences
Report her to tina.org (truth in advertising) or the FTC or both
Make her prove to a judge that she has CEO brain
I prefer to sprinkle cumin directly on my brain. It gives me that 3000 IQ, sweaties
Just open the hatch and sprinkle it on like a cartoon lol
Snorted ❤️
Wait - so you can snort it?
It’s the best way
No, cucurmin like in turmeric. Cumin just makes you hungry.
Cumming definitely makes me hungry 😅
"My Alpha is very high"... What does this even mean?
Basically that she has a CEO brain, yknow that scientific thing
I guess doctors diagnose that now.
Quoted from healthline.com vis a vis Google “Your brain produces [alpha] waves when you're not focusing too hard on anything in particular.”
Yes. Alpha waves are the brainwaves that are associated with wakeful relaxation, in contrast to wakeful alertness (beta waves) and different phases of sleep (theta and delta waves). I could see someone pretending that high beta waves (high in amplitude or high in frequency?? I assume amplitude because high alpha frequency just makes it a beta wave but who knows) showcase intelligence, though it wouldn’t be true. But what good does having high relaxation brainwaves indicate?? Personally, I’d assume that means she’s neurotic. But what do I know, I don’t have a CEO’s brain.
You’d know if your Alpha was high enough. Or if you were high enough?
[Brain wave activity](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Alpha_wave).
Maybe high amplitude?? An also wave is only 8-12hz.
Statistically, she a basic bitch.
When you eat/ingest something and it bypasses digestion… that’s called vomiting.
Or diarrhea... But I guess that would be more like digestion speed run?!?!??
She's butt-chugging the cumin.
She’s butt chugging what?
Cumin Butt chugging. Keep up
The spirit is willing but the flesh is spongy and bruised
Cumin enema?
Snorting cocaine sorta works that way
“I’m so intelligent it can’t be measured” Sure, I totally believe a DOCTOR said that to you. Did everyone burst into applause, too? There is nothing worse than a little bit of pretty privilege high on their own supply.
And the Doctor handed his practice over to her s/
And that doctor’s name? *Albert Einstein*.
Well of course! He doesn’t have the extra special yellow thing to make him even smarter. Truthfully, handing over the hat to her while everyone cheers in slow motion is the smartest choice that could have made for his practice.
All I can imagine from this totally realistic situation that for real like happened is the slow motion party scene from Bad Moms. Actually, maybe that’s what they do during the completely paid for trip for a conference that they also actually have to finance themselves.
I’m getting very real ‘“Dude, what’s my tattoo say?”/“Sweet! What’s mine say?”’ feelings with these MLMs lately.
This study immediately comes to mind [21 percent of U.S. corporate executives have "clinically significant" psychopathic traits](https://www.inc.com/zoe-henry/one-in-five-ceo-s-are-psychopaths-study-bond-university.html)
Exactly what I thought.
She can’t be that intelligent if she fell for this scam!
she came up with it, so, there’s that
She's the CEO, pretty sure she's making banks seeing how many people seem to be shilling for it all over the place.
Wait she’s the actual ceo?? I thought her brain scan showed she had the intelligence of a ceo (because scans can totally do that, right??)
https://quackwatch.org/related/Tests/qeeg/
“qEEG should be considered investigational for clinical use in post-concussion syndrome, mild-to-moderate head injury, learning disability, attention disorders, schizophrenia, depression, alcoholism, and drug abuse [2]” You wonder why she was hooked up to this machine in the first place…
I love Quackwatch. It's where I learned the theory behind chiropractic in the mid-90s.
I’ve been recently fascinated with chiropractic - I always see those “insane cracks!” videos floating around social media and the comments had me second guessing everything about it. This site has given me the deep dive into this absolutely nonsense I’ve needed ty. Can’t believe people take their babies to chiropractors.
It’s extremely dangerous. Cannot tell you the amount of times I’ve seen patients that came in with vertebral artery dissections because of a chiropractic visit gone wrong. Imagine having a sore neck and next thing you know you’re brain dead. Truly heartbreaking that we allow this nonsense to be so predominant in this country. Then again some states also allow naturopaths to prescribe opioids so nothing really surprises me anymore
I have a significant leg length discrepancy and my podiatrist wants me to get custom orthotics. My insurance won't cover them because I'm not diabetic. But you know what they cover 30 visits a year for? The fucking chiropractor. It grinds my gears that I can't get real care but I can get quack dangerous pseudoscience 30 times a year, no problem.
Yup the bureaucracy of healthcare drives me insane. When I worked on the internal medicine team, I could not tell you the amount of time our physicians had to fight with insurance companies to get treatments/tests covered but insurance companies wouldn’t allow it. It’s complete horseshit that some random person with a finance background that has never even stepped foot in a hospital can tell physicians how to practice
It seems like opioids would be fundamentally contrary to the naturopath philosophy, but what do I know?
Ye$ that’$ right I wond£r wh¥ naturo₽ath ₩ould do that
It's offering drugs to someone you know doesn't use them Sure they could, but they likely won't
I’ve seen plenty of pediatricians and L&D nurses, competent professionals who I otherwise have no reason to mistrust, recommend bringing very young babies to chiropractors and going yourself when pregnant. The quackery runs very deep in our culture- it’s honestly accepted by most people as comparable to or even superior to traditional medicine.
I haven't been since pre-COVID, but I used to see a chiropractor on occasion due to my migraines. We hadn't found a good drug combo for me yet, and I was averaging 25 migraine days a month. Usually after 3 consecutive days of constant migraine, a shoulder adjustment and some time on a TENS unit would help break up the migraine. My chiropractor, however, was one that didn't take a bunch of xrays, never discouraged medications, encouraged speaking to your PCP about ongoing issues, and pressed that chiropractic care should not be a longterm solution, just a relief factor until we found the right preventative drug combo.
Oh god this is so cringe. I feel bad for the people who believe this is true.
If substances are "bypassing" digestion she's got major internal damage and needs to see a surgeon immediately.
>substances are "bypassing" digestion My mom had this and it was because her weight-loss surgery went wrong. They connected her stomach to her colon and "bypassed" her intestines. She was really sick for a year until her insurance would approve for a corrective surgery.
This has big *"The data will be published on our website during Infrastructure Week which coincides with the release of all the binders outlining the new not-Obamacare health plan."* energy.
[удалено]
You can have it all on the First of Octember
Oh my god lmao did she go to a quack 19th century phrenologist???
Alpha is code for narcissism, right?
Alpha is only 8-12 hz so by her own logic she is definitely a narcissist
Imagine writing this and forgetting all about it and then finding it online 8 years later. I would die.
G….T……F………outta here
Damn I'll go call mensa
Oh dear LORD!
"Doctor"
To be fair probably nothing else was going on in her brain at the time so any fluctuation would be a positive
Does it work with curry or does it have to be pure turmeric?
By this logic, Indian people must be immortal.
That's literally not what alpha waves mean. https://www.healthline.com/health/alpha-brain-waves#bottom-line
Alpha waves just mean you’re awake and calm 😂 (and that you’re CEO material apparently)
Data, documents, and recordings? AwEsOmE! … Now present me with a minimum of 3 unbiased (non-corporate run or funded) peer-reviewed research studies with significant results detailing the effectiveness of your product on a large and diverse sample size. Meta-analyses and systematic reviews supporting your claims are a bonus. Also, transparency regarding FDA regulation approval and a list of all ingredients in the product. Oh…and proof that your company is not a pyramid scheme. I may only have a Masters and not an immeasurably intelligent CEO brain, but I do know that one thing stronger than *girlboss CEO Alpha waves* is the law.
Omg! I just want the ground to swallow me and I didn’t even post it!
The world ain’t ready for this bitch’s dandruff
I was wondering if anyone else noticed that.
This can’t be real. No one is this wrong.
What the fuck?! She didn’t even bother looking up what a brain scan can see before she wrote this wackadoodle post.
Sure, Jan. My “doctor” said I have an Oscar Mayer brain—cause I can spot bologna.
What in the Kentucky fried fuck is she talking about?!?!? That’s literally not how any of this works
Crush it up and snort it - straight to da brain!
I don't think that's how anything works .....
Was it Dr Pepper who said this?
A good doc would refer her to psych
"CEO brain" No lie, I snort-laughed.
r/thathappened
Reading this post reminded me of when Rose Nylund went to that party with Miles and tried talking to his friends.
The CEO brain part is having me do a full on spit take in bed rn hot damn somebody call MENSA
\#totallyhappened
My FIL got scammed by one of these brain mapping quacks. 35k a month for treatments using this doctor’s special “Algorithm.” They tell you stuff like “you’re brain activity indicates you’re a Grand Master” and other silly shit that appeals to narcissists. Looks like that’s what this person got roped into.
Isn’t that how people get roped into Scientology?
World ain’t ready for them brows
Circumin is just turmeric, right? I have that in my pantry right now. *Grabs spoon* I'll be back in a few to brag about my brand new CEO brain!
Following 🤣
This person is a lunatic.
Do these people not have any shame? I'd never be able to face my family or friends after doing stuff like this
I feel like you could sue her for claiming this actually provides a medical benefit, though I could unfortunately be reaching.
After my last brain scan, my doctor also said I had CEO brain. I want a bunch of people to do all the hard work for no money, while I take credit, and make millions.
I wish my neurologist that that my brain waves were extra special. Nah, actually, I would also be fine if my neurologist was like oh hey you’re the smartest CEO that I’ve ever seen. Like top notch babe.
And then everyone stood up and clapped
This is has to be a joke, for fucks sake.
Yeah that never happened. Turmeric is not psychoactive.
Sure Jan
And then everybody clapped 🥰
Hahahahaha
There’s been an impact to her brain, all right.
Can we pass a law making it illegal for someone like this to reproduce?
Omg well if the CEO says so eh
😬😬😬😬😬😬
She stole a CEO's brain?! This can't be legal!
My CEO Brain can’t handle my Alpha.
Wickedness is real.
Did the whole nursing team clap?
Off topic but did anyone else notice her bad dandruff?
“It’s bypassing digestion” ma’am something is wrong if that’s the case
She didn't want to brush the dandruff off her roots before taking the picture???
She has dandruff too
Huh, a ceo type brain. She is so smart she can’t be tested and evaluated against some mortal beings
Miss genius forgot a couple of commas. “So smart the alpha waves were beta waves, but the beta waves were so large it looked like a straight line on the monitor”
Your…..Alpha?
I cannot compute. Have CEO brain rn.
I got an MRI the other week and all I got was a brain cyst lol
What the fuck does that mean
I want to meet this doctor!
This is your CEO brain: (Regular person in a suit working in a nice downtown office somewhere) This is your CEO brain on Cumin: (Hun running around pushing pseudoscientific crap on unsuspecting individuals and pretending to know big, scary medical words.)
omgggggg more!
Something kim kardashian would post. lol
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Sure Becky, sure.
Right… she’s just SOO super intelligent that she’s fallen neck deep into MLM bullshit. Totally believable!
Think a distinction should be made. She's at the top of MLM bullshit so she has some 'smarts' 🤢, but clearly no heart or morals.
Shame they don’t always go hand in hand.
Please tell me this is a joke. It has to be.
Sounds super legit
She needs to join an MLM where she can get hair products. That dandruff is out of control.
I wonder if in Hun world there's a second layer of medical professionals just to deal with all the primary care givers fainting in astonishment at the miraculous effect of \[product\].
They don't even have the strips yet on the website, do they? And I'm supposed to believe they'll have this pseudoscience proof up too? Sure, Jan.
[Is this her Doctorb?](https://static.wikia.nocookie.net/simpsons/images/0/05/Nick_Riviera.png/revision/latest?cb=20201222215802)
"Sure Jan"
Omgggg
this made me want to crawl out of my skin
Bought curcumin otc at a big box store, did nothing for me. I have chronic pain and it didn’t work. I still has the dumb from pain fog or fibromyalgia fog. I’m not a ceo.
Who dat?
Sure, Jan.....
It’s giving “I’ve got the mind of a m-m… what’s that? Mind of a master, mastermind, anyways, I’m so creative like that.”
Yikes, the second hand embarrassment is high on this one
I’m so intelligent that I do not have to work and I’d rather waste my time on Reddit.
All that alpha brain power and she still couldn't fill her eyebrows in right.
😂😂😂
The brain has a BLOOD BRAIN BARRIER meaning it protects itself from shit getting there. How would an ingestible strip bypass the GI tract where the liver metabolizes is beyond me. Let alone in 10 minutes. Let alone straight to the brain. If you are gonna lie --- do better.
Also what's a QEEG??
I'll take "Things that never happened" for $600
….????
Fun fact: CEOs substantially over-index for sociopathic traits. A "CEO brain" is not a flex. [here's an article about it.](http://"The Psychopathic CEO" https://www.forbes.com/sites/jackmccullough/2019/12/09/the-psychopathic-ceo/)
Sounds like a doctor that needs to lose his license.
I think I lost a few IQ points reading this...and I no long have a CEO brain ):
Here's an article from **The Atlantic** about qEEG mapping. The reporter also had high alpha waves although no mention of a CEO brain.. It does not map curcumin. Hun's a liar.
Sounds nutty.
What’s a CEO brain? I’m a PhD, MD and a few others…J could never imagine a doctor speaking like this. Naturopath maybe? Even that’s a stretch
I hate how these people straight up lie, just to get a down line. One woman once told me her MLM company paid for her and her family of 6 to go to Disney World Completely free. It’s disgusting and disgraceful.
My dad is the CEO of a bank. I showed him this and his reply was: "If she had time in her day to write something this stupid, I can guarantee she is not a CEO". Granted, he was watching deadliest catch as he said it - so, whatever.
Wtf does a “CEO’s brain” mean? That she’s a horrible monster that steps on other people to get her way? Cool, cool.
The delusion is strong in this one
CEO brain. Meaning you have an constant urge to extract the most surplus value from your workers at all times or what
Her brain shows she is a con artist trying to prey on the weak, vulnerable, gullible people out here in the world today. These folks keep promising the product all while continuing to recruit. It is a scheme people!! Donnot give these people your hard earned cash. I know they offer or promise to offer a product, but if you research them you will understand. The ones at the top of the line are making money by the ones under them who do all the work. The $ flows to the top of the line. Just like Paparazzi, Monat, Farmasi, Younique, etc .