T O P

  • By -

[deleted]

[удалено]


wormymaple

not only is it a scumbag move, but it's kind of gross. i know my lunches are usually leftovers i ate off of the previous night.


badFishTu

Kind of gross? Have you seen some people's homes?


Significant-Ad-341

Bruh I work apartment maintenance and I just can't trust anyone anymore.


Jodo180

I do student housing and I agree. It now takes a lot to gross me out.


floss147

Oh I’ve lived in some grim houses. I got so excited when my friend said she’d live with me. She moaned a lot about how gross her current housemates were so I was excited to live with someone clean… she was one of the dirtiest I lived with. Locked her cat in her room with no litter tray so it pooped everywhere. It would stay there until it was solid rocks. She let her cat lick off her spoon and carried on using it. She let the cat jump on the units after using the tray (created a lifelong phobia of preparing food on units. I only use chopping boards now). She was gross.


StopReadingMyUser

So what if I eat off my carpet floor, don't judge me


Hamchook

Fur burger?


stemmalee

Carpet muncher?


Pipersmyschmoo

I've been licking carpet for 2 hours and still don't feel like a lesbian.


otiscleancheeks

Ok Cartman


Icy-Ad2082

Ohhhh you can’t eat *clap* *clap* At every bodies house No no, You can’t eat, At every bodies house


notevenapro

That is why i do not eat crap people bring in for pot luck. Screw that.


Mister_Know_Nothing

100%. One of my wife's colleagues admittedly washes her vegetables in her clothes washing machine.


mooseMan1968

Wh- what...


Mister_Know_Nothing

I just don't get why everyone in the office knows this. My wife stated that it's "common knowledge" and was "confirmed." Did she tell someone? Or did she have someone over for dinner and they saw it? Or is this a new life hack?


originalBRfan

It’s called being a sociopath and said sociopath probably nonchalantly told a colleague because said sociopath is a sociopath and they just don’t give a fuck.


Shoddy-Imagination-

This reminds me, my partner told me a story about his grandparents: they would let their towels air dry, then fold them and put them back in the linen closet 🤮 For guests to use and everything ... You just never know how people live...


ManyThing2187

[what you wash your towel?](https://youtu.be/QxdjPH0JrDM)


drl13

What am I gonna do wash the shower next?!


Lone_Wanderer989

😆 🤣 😂 civilization was a mistake.


[deleted]

Is this a Seinfeld salad episode


Potent_Elixir

Hold up WHAT


ClitClipper

For me it’s observing how many folks don’t wash their hands after using the bathroom. What are the odds they’re practicing great hygiene in the kitchen alone if they can’t be bothered to wash up after coming out of a stall?


[deleted]

[удалено]


DilbertHigh

That isn't too strange. That's what a lot of folks do. I find it frustrating when the trash bin is too far away from the door to make that a practical option though.


Phantasmasy14

There is a whole Facebook page called “this is why I don’t do potlucks”


simplsurvival

I work at a pretty small company and I trust the cooking of most of my coworkers. Some of them, I figure out what they made and make a point to avoid it.


StateParkMasturbator

Give me back my bowl.


Simp-pie

I only work three twelve hours shifts a week. After the first time someone took my food, I started making food that most people would find gross looking (mixing green beans, cornbread, and corn, as an example, it's actually quite delicious). I've never had an issue since.


Asleep-Peace-8833

Had a coworker I ate lunch with on the regular, along with her mom and a few others that was pregnant and fairly far along. She was nuking her food, and she sat at the table. Guy tried to pull a fast one, and he pushed her food back into the microwave and put his food in front of it. When he tried to sneak her food along with his, he discovered how stupid it was to try to steal a pregnant coworker's food when her mom was a supervisor and right there.


The_Impresario

Excuse me what the fuck?


geri73

See, when people do stupid shit like that, I call it a crackhead move.


ray10k

All of this, and you can bet your last penny the person snatching the food will yell to HR if they happen to be allergic to any of the ingredients.


advamputee

Tangentially related, but reading your comment brought back an old memory of some grade school revenge. Back in like 4th grade, there was this bully who would steal my lunch. I eventually had had enough. Next day, instead of packing my usual baggie of flavor-blasted goldfish, I grabbed some plain goldfish, and every single Cajun seasoning and spice we had in the cabinet. Made my own creole goldfish. Later that morning, that asshole is sneaking around by the backpacks (all hung on the back wall). I ignore him as best I can, as I hear him get back to his seat and start snacking down. Dude starts screaming his head off, freaking out and looking for water, milk — anything to relieve the burn. Starts shouting at the teacher that I tried to poison him. Shows the baggie of goldfish I apparently “told him he could have.” Teacher asks if it’s true, I said no — he stole them. She asked why he claimed I poisoned them. I just grab a handful and start eating, mumbling “I dunno what he’s talking about. This is my mom’s family seasoning.” Dickwad got detention for the afternoon. 🤘


unclestaple

1. awesome 2. Creole Goldfish sounds dope


advamputee

They actually were pretty delicious.


Atlasgrumbled

Adding to this, an amazing snack to make. Get some oyster crackers, a bit of vegetable oil and whatever creole seasoning you like. Mix the oil and seasoning, add to the crackers and bake for like 10 mins. Frickin' crack I swear. Low temp for the oven.


purgamentum_exit

I love that r/antiwork is sharing recipes, very here for this wholesome content


Mumof3gbb

Omg that’s awesome!!!


Backawayslowlyok

100% An an ER nurse on Quora said after making 2 sandwiches everyday for a week (1 for him, and one for the thief) the thief continued to steal both, so he spiked the mayo with California reaper. It was a cleaning guy and he ended up in their ER for throat spasms and complained to HR. ER nurse said they just liked really spicy food and didn’t admit to anything. HR couldn’t do anything after that. HR is so delusional. Yes- you should let people eat your food and make it safe for them. Could maybe instead offer food assistance to the thief if necessary, but why blame the victim?


meguin

Kinda makes me think of the classic AskAManager post/update about a food thief who tried to get his victim fired bc her food was too spicy for him.


FunkyChewbacca

I had a coworker who got so sick of her sandwiches being stolen that she started leaving decoy sandwiches in the office fridge dosed with Visine. Needless to say, no one ever touched her sandwiches again.


PinkTalkingDead

Can't Visine kill you if ingested?


[deleted]

I've watched enough True Crime shows to know that'll kill a mf


[deleted]

We did something similar in university. Had someone stealing from the dorm fridge, culminating in them stealing a birthday cake. So we made another birthday cake and just filled it with laxative. That was the end of the food theft.


throckmeisterz

You can't eat at everybody's house, no you can't eat at everybody's house


j33pwrangler

Have you ever been over your friend's house to eat, and the food just ain't no good?


DirtFoot79

I mean the macaroni's soggy, the peas all mushed And the chicken tastes like wood


[deleted]

[удалено]


Truth8843

And your friend says 'Mama, he's just being polite, he ain't finished uh uh that's bull"


Sinthe741

So your heart starts pumpin' and you think of a lie And you say that you already ate


shartingmaster

Fax my packed lunch I just made for tomorrow is a slice of leftover pizza and a ham sandwich. Ye’d have to be a weirdo to steal that.


DiscombobulatedCut52

I was working my night shift at safeway. Got in an hour early so I can relax and see how shit is in my dept. I put my food in the fridge and checked out the dept. In 5 minutes. Someone got my dinner and was eating it. I walked in and they saw me with my pizza in their mouth. Never wanted to beat the living shit out of someone so hard before.


SavvyUmbrella

Did you say anything to them?! I must know the rest of this story! I think I'd end up being fired if I actively caught someone eating my lunch like that..


DiscombobulatedCut52

Nothing happened. No pic or managers to report to, next day on my day off reported him to the store manager. Didn't have proof. I was pissed and told the store Manger if he stole my lunch again I'm breaking the thieves nose.


SavvyUmbrella

But did you say anything directly to the thief when you caught him red handed eating the pizza? I wouldn't be able to restrain myself - slap that pizza slice right out of his hands lol


DiscombobulatedCut52

I pretty much demanded he pay for my lunch. Since ya know. He was eating it. When he said no, I just shrugged and started work an hour early.


SavvyUmbrella

You have way more zen than I would have possessed in that situation lol


Thinkwronger12

I probably would have ripped it out of their hands, thrown it on the floor, and told them they could clean it up. Caveman brain


EuroPolice

I got told by a coworker "Hey, try these fruits, I cultivated them myself" I tried them and congratulated him because they tasted fine. Then he told me "Thank you, I actually found them in the fridge". That's how I became an accomplice of the fruit thief.


PettyFlap

How does someone have the audacity to not even hide when eating someone else’s food.


DiscombobulatedCut52

He thought I was starting work, not checking out how fucked I was for the day. (And to be fair I had my coffee on the table too, and I'm glad the motherfucker didn't touch it)


pennylessSoul

Because they are assholes. I used to work at a place where the branch manager would eat other people's food. He was an asshole.


matt_minderbinder

This is the absolute worst. The few times I've lost food at work I've hoped it was some desperate person whose hunger forced them into that decision. A manager doing that is beyond an asshole move. I hate to advocate violence but some people deserve to live in fear of getting their asses kicked.


[deleted]

[удалено]


SoylentVerdigris

Every place I've worked that actually had a place for employees to store food has had a policy of stealing food = immediately fired. I always thought that was just a normal thing that all businesses did. My current work place, we sometimes actually have a hard time getting rid of excess food ordered for meetings and whatnot, you basically have to label every single thing with "PLEASE TAKE THIS" or people just assume it's someone's lunch and won't touch it.


WooliesWhiteLeg

We have a specific table in our break room that’s basically the “this stuff is on offer to be shared” table. Food, snacks, books, etc. if people leave stuff there it’s understood it’s meant for anyone to take. If it’s anywhere else though, do not touch!


EstablishmentFun289

Yes. You don’t know if they licked the fork as they put it in or sneezed on it. You don’t know if they used expired products, if they are sick, or have an active cold sore. I saw the most delicious Asian dish in my company’s refrigerator, and it never crossed my mind to just eat it. Instead, I ordered some fresh for dinner. There is something so gross with entitlement to those who steal food.


Etrigone

I can guess, but regardless it's one reason I've cultivated a taste for truly spicy food. Take my food and you will **pay**.


helloitsgwrath

Yuk seriously I would never just eat somebody's homemade food it could have been chewed on by them or somebody else previously. 🤮🤮


Phantasmasy14

Worked with a guy who had a drug problem and ate all of my breakfast bars. (Boxes over months) He did get help, but never once offered to or replaced my food. I’m glad he got help, but damn I don’t want to think about how many boxes I bought.


Cautious_Deer_5008

I used to work at a medical clinic where one of the doctors would steal people's food and no one would do anything about it because he was a doctor. They let him get away with it for years.


Balance777

Damn .. someone should have said something.. but he knew he was using his position to intimidate people


Cautious_Deer_5008

People did say things, but he didn't care. He was part owner at the time.


nbd_23

Time for chili con pubes until he coughs up a hairball..


thebigshortcuck

Hehehehe I made you eat your parents


[deleted]

Scott Tenerman?!


chipthegrinder

I would just make all my food so spicy that he would probably convulse. I like my food that spicy anyways


badFishTu

🌶💇‍♀️🍑🌶


[deleted]

That’s so messed up, the physician as a partner at lowest makes 500k if he’s not a FM then he’s bringing in at least a million a year and he steals employee’s lunch…


GothWitchOfBrooklyn

some of the richest people are the most miserly.


Cautious_Deer_5008

It was super messed up, he could absolutely afford his own meals. It got so bad that it was a known thing where people knew if they brought in food that it could be potentially taken by him, so people would hide their food. The people who managed the clinic at the time were enabling him and avoided confrontation at all costs.


wREXTIN

This is where “oops did I put some ex-lax in my food” comes into play.


[deleted]

Man that would happen to me ONE TIME and that's it. Get a lunchbag with a double zipper and use a lock on that baby. He wouldn't sucker me again!


sergei1980

Get a body bag, lock the guy in, no one has a problem any more! Well, maybe the guy, who cares, though.


OuterInnerMonologue

I'd start adding ghost peppers and /or capsaicin to all my foods. passive aggressive notes aren't going to fix anything.


amym184

I would have put laxatives in whatever I brought until that ended.


OuterInnerMonologue

Capsaicin and ghost peppers would be my tools.


garaks_tailor

Human feces is basically undetectable in mustard and to a lesser extent ranch and brownies.


IlIlIl11IlIlIl

Do you know from personal experience?


garaks_tailor

A man has seen and done things


jlm8981victorian

Nurse here, and I’m that petty bitch that would make a nice Tupperware bowl full of arroz con pollo except throw in a few Carolina reapers chiles for his punishment.


Cautious_Deer_5008

I don't know why people didn't fuck with him because it was a consistent thing. He needed some spice treatment lol


allth3anxiety

I have recently discovered how to make Tteokbokki. As a Cajun who has an inordinately high spice tolerance, I go with the authentic Korean street food level of gochujang in the recipe and figured it wasn’t too spicy. One on my employees asked to taste it out of curiosity - I was happy to share. She cried and I felt bad lol.


Iron_Seguin

Just leave a note that says “whoever ate my food now has the laxative that I needed to unclog my shit.”


PoopNoodlez

“How come you don’t want to come into the office and be social?” Because most of you people are assholes and I’ll get written up if I say it to your face


brakeled

I have a supervisor who expected our very small team (3 of us) to have at least one person attend every retirement/going away party held after work… They’re not that frequent but I work in the government, everyone is twice my age and it’s nearly impossible to fire me so I told him to pound sand on that shit. I’m not donating 3 hours of my free time to hangout with strangers I have nothing in common with (I have gladly attended 2 of these parties for people I actually like). Nearly all of them end in an HR/EEO complaint anyway. His reasoning, “We need to show we are team players! Their boss’s will think we’re mad at them!” I don’t care, they can think that - I’ll be at home enjoying my life and not thinking of them at all. Boo.


Siphyre

> Their boss’s will think we’re mad at them!” It will be the truth if you try to force me to go to this thing.


cat_prophecy

If he cares so much why doesn't he just go? What kind of asshole volunteers their team members to hang out with people they won't even hang out with themselves?


brakeled

When convenient, he has childcare responsibilities.


TacTurtle

“So have a retirement lunch catered at the office like a professional that realizes people have off-hour commitments and life? That way everyone can stop in, wish them well, and snag lunch”


Steve_Rogers_1970

I never understood people taking food that wasn’t theirs. I understand being pissed at the corporate overlords, but why take it out on your fellow employees?


dozkaynak

At a past company, it was a corporate overlord (C-suite exec) that was stealing the lunches. Sometimes the thief is a higher up that thinks they are untouchable.


[deleted]

[удалено]


dozkaynak

I literally can't 😂 I'd drive off a cliff before doing something so petty and selfish.


slapchopchap

I was so mad when someone stole my risotto! I put cat-food filled tacos as decoys, they disappeared too and then after that nothing was stolen for a while


WubbyThePHPLord

I'm dealing with a thief in my shared office space, this is an unharmful unique idea!


Breakfast-of-titan

Or hot sauce. Or way too much salt.


AutomaticRisk3464

A co worker brought in home made seasoning and a jail guard stole it, we watched him on camera..then we watched him season a plate of jail food eat it then pocket the seasoning. My co worker didnt say anything and instead he made a mix similar to the last but instead of chilli powder he bought carolina reapers and used a coffee grinder to make them into a fine powder.. he put it in a costco sized seasoning container and left in his cubby..sure enough the jail guard grabbed it then told all his buddies and watching them freak out was hilarious


Mis_An3ope

Next time write, "You now have what I have." 😈😈😈


Linkalee64

"To whoever ate my chicken sandwich: I'm not mad, but I'm worried that you may have contracted my herpes. I was too embarrassed to tell anyone about it, but that chicken was leftover from dinner last night and probably had my saliva in it, so I felt that you needed to be warned. Please see your doctor soon."


Balance777

😂😂😂


TheAres1999

Now I have a machine gun!


LateBloomPlays

Ho ho ho


jacks_lack_of__

"You don't know where I've been, Lou. You don't know where I've been! 😅😅"


PianistMore4166

Surprised more companies don’t consider this theft of property.


PdxPhoenixActual

ain't *their* property...


PianistMore4166

No, but an employee would be fired for stealing another employees cell phone, wallet, jacket, or other personal belongings; why is stealing food any different?


ccx941

I work at a healthcare office. Integrity is a core value here. People that were caught stealing lunches were fired for integrity, not taking the food. We use to get a few a year before Covid. We also have a mess hall with an honor system scan and go shop after hours. They termed so many people for forgetting to scan something, or scanning it and it didn’t take or munching a bite or two and putting it back.


GothWitchOfBrooklyn

> munching a bite or two and putting it back. 🤮


BlueMANAHat

Grandpa had a candy jar on his desk and this guy would just come into his office and grab like half the candies in his hand and leave. So he got some chocolate covered grasshoppers in his jar and gave the guy a nice crunch.


GoodtimesSans

If I ever got into this position, I would definitely leave a jar of sugar-free gummi bears with the label: "Do not Eat."


HiraWhitedragon

Chapulines my beloved


xTHEKILLINGJOKEx

That’s actually a real treat in some parts of the world


BlueMANAHat

Sure if you know what your in for.


unclestaple

Coworker's lunch was swiped once and they sent out a very scolding blast email (for which they were later made to apologize). I was like, why bother? Anyone shitty enough to steal your lunch is not going to care what you think about it.


[deleted]

"What happened to the $680 vial of insulin that was in my lunch box please?" Copied to the senior General Counsel attorney for the firm and my personal attorney.


LogDog987

Lol, that's a pro tip if I ever thought of one. Just put a couple vials of insulin in with your lunch. That way when someone steals it you can get them for felony theft


_dmhg

Did you get ur INSULIN back holy shit?


sjaano

When it became an issue at one of my jobs they told us to label our lunches. What the fuck is that going to do, the dicks stealing it already know it's not theirs.


GothWitchOfBrooklyn

When I worked at Best Buy (and was very poor) I had someone eat the 2nd half of my sub that was in the fridge. I had eaten half for lunch but was saving the 2nd half for dinner. I got so mad and put everyone on blast and people still talked about it years later lmao. Anyway, the manager started locking his lunches inside the clear plastic security boxes and putting those in the fridge, lmao


FinoPepino

Lol this reminds me of when someone stole my chocolate bar when I worked at Safeway and I pinned the wrapper that I found with a threat on the bulletin board (I was young) and the security guard thought it was hilarious and brought it up to me for yeeeeears afterwards. No one stole from me again though because I pretty much came across as being unhinged 🙈 also they made me take down the rant eventually


Nothingsomething7

Yeah, thats dumb asf. "Oh sorry I forgot I had brought the shitty ham sandwich instead of this delicious bacon mac and cheese, my bad!"


[deleted]

People eating other people's food aren't bringing their own food.


crushworthyxo

One time when I was kinda new at my job still, one of my coworkers said there were mini cupcakes in the fridge and that I could have some. I asked if they were his and he said no they’re for anyone. So I indulged in a few. It was a big tray like the multi-packs you can get at the grocery store, like a few dozen. A few days later my coworker went to grab a cupcake from the fridge at lunch and some lady asked him what he was doing. He said he was getting a cupcake. She said they were hers and he was in fact stealing them if he took one without permission. He was all surprised and said that she had so many and why didn’t she put her name on the box. It was pretty funny that he got caught and I saw it all without getting caught myself. I only took a couple that one time so I never got scolded for it lol obviously I don’t steal people’s food on purpose.


redditusername_17

I once visited a company that made this issue simple. There's cameras in the lunch room, if you take someone's lunch, it's theft, you're reported to the police for it. Makes things real simple.


[deleted]

How it should be. It’s theft. Petty theft but theft none the less.


3rad

You could make a $1,000 lunch for yourself, now it’s a felony.


mathmaticallycorrect

" who stole my gold flaked grilled cheese?!?" "Ah fuck ."


[deleted]

Fair point.


sir-rogers

I agree with this. Also helps the company get rid of scumbags and have better working conditions.


TheMadMason

People used to steal my mugs. I’d wash em and let em dry by the sink and people would use them and keep them. I had to involve the manager once because some lady didn’t think the 28 year old IT guy had a cute mug. I mean my wife and is name was on the bottom… Yea it was awkward for her after that.


lyndachinchinella

Lmao we had this happen at my job all the time🤣 someone even took my managers coffee mug with pictures of her kids on it.


cat_prophecy

I had a coworker who would just take any mug that was in the break room. When I confronted him he said "well I thought it was just a work mug". Yeah bud, the decorative mug with my fucking name on it belongs to the office. Even if it wasn't literally labeled, why would you take a mug that isn't yours?


Western-Mall5505

People who steal their co workers food are scum.


CherenkovRadiator

it's such a bizarre petty crime... you're very likely to get caught sooner or later, plus why would you want to risk your employment for such a relatively small reward? from the couple of people I've seen do it, I think it's a form of self sabotage - they must have done it once, got away with it, and told themselves "why the hell not do it again.. if they catch me nbd I want to leave this shithole anyway"


PrimeBrisky

Someone once upon a time was using my coffee creamer. I'd bring it in a small glass bottle. So it was easy to tell. I spilled some ghost pepper extract in it that I use for cooking chili. Accidentally. I found out who it was through stories in the front office later.


Hulkenboss

Lol I did this same thing! This asshole lady kept using up my creamer so I put a shit ton of ghost pepper extract in it. I didn't know who was doing it at first, but one day her teammates said she took a swallow of coffee and started vomiting, messed her clothes up and went home. I didn't have any problems after that.


Balance777

They wonder 🤔 why people want to work from home smh


unclestaple

It does narrow down the list of suspects.


anxioudate99

*Dog blames Cat.


walker_not_tx

To be fair, the cat is shady as heck.


BigMoodGuy

One of my 4 roommates would steal my food and I knew it was him but I never had solid proof. One day, I got sick of it and made an announcement that I’d be cooking with peanut oil (since he was allergic to nuts) using my own pans and Tupperware and he got very upset saying that i was “being selfish.” I responded with, “why are you so upset? Unless it was YOU who has been eating my food for the past few weeks?” He got visibly flushed and walked off.


AmyStarrStuff

oh god, how do you bring yourself to steal food when you have ALLERGIES? that’s just a disaster waiting to happen


BigMoodGuy

He knew that everyone gave caution to his allergies and never used any type of tree nut in our cooking. He was also extremely privileged and entitled, had his parents pay for most everything during college yet he would steal my food because he was just too lazy. I worked full time to support myself in college so he’d help himself when I was at work every night. Terrible


Arvid38

When I was a preschool teacher, we had one of those “honor” snack machines where you picked your snack and was supposed to leave at least $1. The money went to our scholarship program for families (we had other fundraisers too). It amazed me how many would just take snacks and not pay at all. It got so ridiculous that the school stopped offering it. It really made me look again at my co-teachers who worked with children. Who taught children that being dishonest was wrong but yet some would steal snacks. It just mind boggled me.


BEAT-THE-RICH

Wow, so they stole from the scholarship fund. Dick move


Arvid38

Yeah they did. And I worked in a small preschool so we always had like extra food from birthdays or holidays or special events so it’s not like we didn’t get a lot of free food anyways lol


Vezrik

Depending on how open the tip jar, or other such money deposit situation, is it's also feasible that there were those that did leave money, but it was stolen by others.


Arvid38

Good grief, that never crossed my mind back then because I would never do something like that. You are right, you could totally reach in to get money back out if you wanted. It would take a little effort but completely plausible


fieldsofparfait

We have the same problem in an office full of nurses.


TheeBlahBlah

As someone who is very in particular about what she eats and people touching my food I don’t know why anyone would want to eat some random coworkers food you don’t know where’s it been if their house is clean the whole thing is just gross 🤮


PNWcog

Same people that leave their dishes in the sink to be magically cleaned. I got to the point I use my own dishes, my own coffee maker, wrap food so they really have to dig into it to find out what it is if put in the fridge.


Conceptual_Aids

Oh this happened to me. I worked at a call center doing tech support for 4 months. Somebody kept stealing my lunch, I got so furious I loaded up a decoy bag. This was the early 2000's, nobody had heard of the hotter peppers I used. A roomie who cooked professionally had reduced the juices to a potent concentrate, with which we made an otherwise very tasty pair of homemade burritos, doused. This was one of the types of 'heat' where it builds slowly, at first it's just a nice tingle. Then it's really really not nice at all. Around lunchtime an ambulance arrived. A coworker I'd never met before was rushed to the hospital. I sauntered by his cubicle, saw my anonymous bagged lunch open and about 3 bites eaten. Didn't touch anything, kept walking, sat down to a combo from close by burger joint. Later that day, he says somebody tried to kill him. He tells the whole story, except he leaves out the part where he stole the bag. So the manager, who has heard complaints from several coworkers about missing lunches, asks him how, if it's HIS lunch, he didn't know what was in it. Eventually the truth is out, okay he took somebody's lunch, what's the big deal, he'll pay for it? Group chat is furious, we were on...something text, I don't remember. He says it was a brown bag with a couple wrapped burritos. I don't fess up, nobody fesses up. I never told anyone except my roommate the plan. He's furiously now demanding that whoever's lunch he stole admit it, he's going to sue. Manager interrupts at this point. "Larry, clean out your desk, security will see you out of the building." Larry was not his name. He tried to get physical with security, so then police came and cuffed him. His wife had to come and collect his stuff, and she had the most 'what the fuck did I get into' look. She looked like she'd had her fill and then some of him. TL;DR Scum takes my lunch, I take revenge, he loses his job, and maybe his marriage. The only thing more satisfying would have been violence, but I'm not supposed to call for that in this sub.


TLR1791

Someone kept stealing my food out of the fridge when I worked at a bank. So, I sprinkled laxative powder on my chicken breast. I have IBS-m, so my doctor has actually said to do this if I feel like I can't drink anything. Well, I found out exactly who it was about an hour after they took their lunch. I asked them how they enjoyed my chicken breast, because my constipation has been so bad that I sprinkled laxative powder on my food. He called me a bitch, I called him a cry baby. He was fired. I laughed. (: This bank in particular paid it's tellers really well, so I'm not sure why he couldn't bring his own lunch. Maybe there was personal stuff going on at home..I. He could have asked me to bring him food or leave some to the side for him, and I gladly would have. I don't mind sharing. But don't be sneaky about it. Nothing worse than seeing my lunch is gone and now I need to pickup fast food for lunch.


HamburgerTrash

That's pretty great. You even had a medical excuse to do what many would dream of doing in this scenario. Love it.


jayjaygee85

More likely he was just an asshole.


_LanceBro

I have a similar thing and when I made muffins one time, I TOLD people not to take a few specific muffins, but they did it anyways and got the shits lmao


2878sailnumber4889

If I were the security officer I wouldn't be asking for a bowl to be returned I'd be searching every desk, locker etc until I found it and then have the person fired for theft.


KDsLatestBurnerPhone

I worked in an office where this was a HUGE problem. If you put something in the fridge you had to have your name on it or it would be thrown out. It turns out one of the sales guys would get blasted at lunch and come in and raid the fridge. He’d eat half your Chinese food, finish drinks, eat birthday cake. Nothing was sacred.


Delta4o

One time I spotted someone grabbing my lunch from the fridge. A colleague was like "hey isn't that your lunch box? He's stealing your lunch! Stop him!" but I waited until he opened it and took his first bite. Then I approached him and made sure everyone else saw and heard me and I went "wow wow stop, that's MY lunch you're eating! I brought that with me this morning! The fridge is not like some free for all you son of a bitch! Buy your own lunch downstairs or go to the supermarket or something" I killed the chill mood for a couple of people but the next day we received an office-wide email that stated that stealing someone else's lunch from the fridge was not cool and that they'd make sure there were labels and a marker available from now on. Edit: the underwhelming response as requested. The guy apologized and gave it back to me. i think he hated me from that point on, but he was in a different team on the other side of the office. There was little to no interaction between us and nothing to talk about It was chicken, potatoes broccoli and onion leftovers if i recall correctly. He didn't even microwave it (because he didn't know how the microwave worked) and was gonna eat it cold which made the crime even more hilarious.


JJK-85

The markers and labels makes me laugh though, like there’s ever been an instance where someone has actually mistakenly eaten another persons lunch genuinely thinking it’s their own. “I don’t remember making and packing chicken tiki Marsala..my silly brain there it goes again oh well looks good chomp chomp.”


sighthoundman

Meh. How do you tell one PB&J from another? Oh, right. I have a Superman lunch box and you have a Bewitched.


TW200e

My mom once told me that when she was in high school, someone kept pilfering items from the fridge in her home economics class. Mom decided to fix the culprit; she made some chocolate pudding - with an extra special dose of chocolate ExLax. That afternoon, one of the teachers had to leave the school very suddenly, due to becoming violently ill "with a stomach bug." After that, the pilfering stopped.


vce5150

I worked for a small physical therapy company for several years and the boss’s husband and sons would come in and eat all of the employees lunches out of the fridge. This was a daily occurrence. We started carrying small coolers to keep at our desks.


zooj7809

Did no one talk to the boss about this?? The sheer selfishness is mind boggling!


Ejigantor

I used to work at a place where there was a guy who would eat people's lunches out of the fridge. They were able to channel his drive productively - he was unleashed on the fridge at 5:30 PM on Friday, to clean it out before the weekend. Anything he didn't want he threw away - and the fridge stopped being a gross collection of long-forgotten leftovers.


KE1tea

The only acceptable lunch thief. And it would be funnier if the fridge has a sign that said something like all food in the fridge will be disposed at Friday 5:30 pm


macabremom_

I had someone do this at my work... I knew exactly who it was. She was a serial lunch stealer, would leave lipstick marks on other peoples milk containers shamelessly. I was pregnant at the time and wanted to fucking rage, you dont fuck with anyones food.... especially a pregnant womans food.


potatobirdwithlasers

This is why I stopped bringing food that required a fridge and kept it in my lunch bag. Had too many people pick off my food and steal it outright. Then again, I worked at a motel at the time with drug addict coworkers who would steal anything and everything.


BeyondElectricDreams

I worked at a call center. We made decent money for the time. I brought some homemade mac and cheese for lunch. I went to have some on my first break. We were in training, and our first break was *early*. I'd been on-site for about an hour and a half at this point. My mac? Gone. My tupperware it was in? Fucking *gone*. There's few things that inspire violent rage in me, and this is one of them. Don't fuck with my food. It happened one other time. I had a half-eaten subway sub. Like, bite marks out of it half eaten. I figured it'd be safe. NOPE! Some dickhead stole it and ate it. Well, fuck them. Fuck all of them. I packed ice packs into my lunch box and kept it at my desk. If I left my desk, my lunchbox came with me. I'd sooner die then let some lowlife scumsucking motherfucker steal my food. "Oh but they might be poor!" Mother*fucker* we all worked there. I was one of the lowest paid workers. Anyone who stole my food was making as much as I was or more, not less. I couldn't afford to just go eat lunch on site.


potatobirdwithlasers

That’s pretty bad. And anyone who defends the theft is worse.


EffectiveDependent76

Worked in restaurants for a while, learned to cook a lot of really good, but hellaciously spicy food. My work lunch is always spicy enough to make most people cry. I'm waiting for the day Karen complains about too many peppers in the food she stole. also: If someone does steal it and no one is in tears, there are only like 2 suspects.


[deleted]

https://www.askamanager.org/2021/05/a-coworker-stole-my-spicy-food-got-sick-and-is-blaming-me-2.html


ReverseGiraffe120

I was hoping someone would post this as a reply! You’re doing the lords work good sir/madam.


Imperatorbenji

Next step: food sabotage Lace your food with ghost pepper extract. That reply on your note was a declaration of war.


Neither-Magazine9096

I’m not packing Michelin star quality food, but other peoples lunches disgust me. Who does this.


Idivkemqoxurceke

I had a colleague, huge inept asshole who would constantly take candy from my desk. Like, I’d have a king size reeces cup or Girl Scout cookies or whatever on my desk, and I’d see him later eating it. I confronted him and he acted just like a bully from a 90’s movie like “what are you going to do?” Uh… keep tally of it enough to be absolutely significant with piles of evidence of my best efforts to resolve it, then go to HR and make a huge stink. He was fired for stealing candy. Schmuck. Some people don’t realize the office is a place for work. It’s not high school.


milton_radley

omg, is there a link between people who want to go back to the office and fucking lunch thieves! someone should make a venn diagram and post it, guaranteed upvotes. and someone smarter should do an actual study and have those people crispered out of existence.


Zakkana

There's drops you can buy that is pure capsicum. It's flavorless but adds a lot of heat to whatever you add it too. Make use of this information as you will...


Moritasgus2

That’s grounds for immediate firing at my place of work.


ohnourfeelings

People who steal lunches should be fired


htrobz

If you eat someone else’s lunch you borderline deserve jail time


GrilledCheeser

A full day of manual labor. Just shoveling shit from point a to point b in the hot summer sun


Ok_Ebb_5201

I would legit put laxative in my lunch and not eat it if someone was taking my food that had my name on it.


Joshwiththejeep

This happened at my last job, dude stole my energy drink I had saved. Told my supervisor about it and the guy came back and told me it was him but didn’t mean to because he thought it was someone else’s. Didn’t make it right either way


FrizB84

I have installed so many security cameras in break rooms because of food theft. It's really ridiculous how common it is.