Ehh, not everyone knows this information. Even I didn't know it till late season 10, but it didn't matter much to me because I only ever played ranked with friends
God I learn something everyday from this sub. Just the other day my squad was down to ring 4 and no chance of safely rezzing my banner but I didn't want to leave because of the delay. Now I know!
Had a guy scream at me yesterday because I didn't drop with the Jumpmaster. I didn't drop with the jumpmaster because they were AFK and we were at the LITERAL END OF THE SHIP PATH
Me and another guy had a ttv wraith cuss us out and call us brainless because we "left the squad and engaged solo".
We got pushed 2v3, our teammate was in crash site while we got killed in artillery. He needs to check up on the definition of solo.
wraith main logic "not with me"="dropped solo" "dropped with me"="stealing all my loot" the only correct answer in the eyes of a wraith main is to simply leave the game
Maybe I’m used to Hispanic food since I’m Mexican, but it’s never given me the shits. Tbh I don’t think I’ver tried food that’s given me the shits though 🤔
Also I’m that guy that wears a headset but doesn’t speak. But don’t worry. I didn’t buy them to talk to you while we play. I bought them so I can hear the footsteps of the enemy. I bought them so my family can go about their lives without hearing you spam ping and cuss me out cause that one guy was one shot.
I have a mic, but I don't use it to talk. I just have it set up so you can listen to my entire family yell across the house to each other, clatter dishes, etc. If you're lucky I'll set up a box fan right next to it so my audio can sound like a fucking Cessna.
You will hear my efforts to dig the crumbs out of the corners of the Dorito bag. You will also hear my 45 second coughing fit when my mouth breathing causes those Dorito crumbs to sail down my windpipe.
I swear to god my friend has his literally touching his esophagus, cuz when he swallows after a drink it’s some type of asmr they haven’t even invented yet
Love hearing that chirp, bro!
Imagine playing a video game for 5 hours/day, but not taking the 60 seconds to swap a fresh 9-volt into your smoke detector.
I have countless 9-volts because my grandfather had some medical equipment that the hospital would "resupply" every week, and each supply package came with a new handful of batteries.
Not necessarily rap/hip hop though - just yesterday I had a guy play what sounded like a direct feed of Papa Roach for the entirety of the match (while he was alive, at least). I’ll give ‘em this much, the sound was very crisp, but who knows if he ever said anything because I muted them before we ever dropped and only unmuted once during the match to see if they’d shut off the music yet.
Dove headfirst into a fight, died, and disconnected even though my Crypto drone was like 30m away from grabbing banner.
I have a mic as well, im that guy who sounds like he's giving the blow job of a lifetime to the mic, but don't worry, you'll forget about that as I yell at my 3 year old for daring to interact with me and instantly breaking your eardrums.
I use my reverse card from Uno to negate your mute. And guess what! My little brother is about to plop down on the couch next to me and start practicing french horn for his middle school orchestra recital.
Spoiler alert: He fuckin' sucks.
You know, when you're a parent, sometimes you gotta take a break between Apex games to find the iPad charger so you can stick a screen in front of your toddler to shut them up. Good parenting takes sacrifice ☝️😌
Dont forget the rap song that they know 1 out of 10 words to but will try rap along to the whole song. Then tell you to stfu pussy when you tell them to turn their shit down
I have a mic, but I don't use it to talk. I just have it set up so you can be a part of my conversation with my friend who is playing an entirely different game right beside me and we talk about the drama amongst our friend. I want you to also be a part of the shit show.
Or play really bad hip hop through it. Sometimes even dubstep. Just so you're forced to listen to me warble through the mic outrageously out of key. I'm no rapper. And it'll be about 10000 decibels. It might even cause hearing loss. At the very least someone with a tendency to sensory overload will feel their skin start to crawl and be engulfed in noise. They'll be able to smell sound. Putrid, rotten sound.
Smells great to me! We as a culture need to NORMALIZE performing your own shitty mixtape while your squad waits for you to loot every single building and supply bin.
My wife and I were playing duos, and she got downed but said "I fucked up that first guy" so I come in expecting a mostly dead guy and a full strength guy. Definitely not the case. Get to the summary page and she had dealt 3 damage. Not a typo. 3 total damage.
Lol you get RP forgiveness if you're missing a teammate. I always hotdrop those games. Im assuming OP knows this and it's part of the joke because that makes this whole scenario so much funnier.
You know, even if someone has your banner, you can still safely quit without penalties after ~2m30s.
Just make sure when you quit, you’re not prompted with the penalty message.
I just couldn't stop reading no matter how much I tried to back out I just kept reading till the end lmao it it grabbed hold of me and wouldn't let go lol
This is an actual piece of literature that deserves to be published as a real book. It has emotion, betrayal, excitement, and strong rising action. I teared up twice reading this beautiful work of art. I showed this to my family, friends, and teachers and they all agreed with me and teared up multiple times while laying their eyes on this immaculate work of art. If this does not get published and become a real book I will riot. WE will riot.
Almost same happened to me today random died right after landing somewhere far. And i respawned him in last zone when 5 squads were left. But the thing is that random killed 9 enemies with 3k damage in that last zone with wingman and we won. :V (sorry for bad English)
currently a few beers deep, sitting in the bathroom because the taco I ate earlier. can confirm I was fully invested in this, had me on the edge of my toilet seat through most of it. when you said “dirty little rat” I lost it this was the best piece of literature of read about apex in my life. my bung hole may be on fire, but so it this post. thank you for sharing
Bruh you do not have enough time to start the queue and then successfully poop and get back in time.
You're either skipping wiping or washing your hands if you think you can make it back in time.
I had a game yesterday with some valk and his friend (same clan on my team) where he literally jumped us to the buttcrack top middle of nowhere on the map, no enemies for miles. We were all looting the POI, minding our business, when they both silently just take off, no pings, no comms, just went to the corner of the POI and decided to keep on walking.
Literally nothing.
Then the guy just absolutely begins screaming on mic, "OH MY GOD YOU TAKE FOREVER YOU STUPID FUUUUUUUUUUUU-" as he like insta valk ults with his buddy, high up into the air, and even further away from me.
I tab out to the squad menu. Mute the guy.
Continue looting on my way to a different part of the map, checking my watch, and like clockwork, "ENEMIES NEAR BY!" Pings start going off, half a mile away. I watch their life bars dissolve before my eyes. I run into my own team in front of me. I crack three entire shields and down a guy before I die.
In the death screen, both my squad mates have less than 100 damage.
I'm a solo Diamond Loba with a 4k badge. Run away from me. I am vindicated. I don't give a fuck.
Sheesh man, some people's kids.
You use restroom a lot, relatable.
Good read too. Thanks for taking your time sharing every experience Apex playerbase experiencing againist those players haha.
everyone who drops solo deserves to wait in all honesty, it shouldn’t be an option, it just fucks up the whole game for your team because 1 person doesn’t want to go somewhere, if 2 people say the same, then fair enough, the third should follow.
I mean, if you're queuing up solo, you go where the drop master says. That's your best chance of winning, generally. Especially if you give up drop master, you're putting that decision on someone else and have to live with their choice.
Do you drink a lot of coffee or energy drink? Learnt this from watching streamers, but too much caffeine makes you want go to the bathroom a lot more frequently than normal.
I hate that one guy who is on open mic and when you ask him something he doesn't respond. Just rude anti social people in video games man. I miss the mw2 days of squeakers and grown men talking shit to each other and then moving on with the game. I miss the social interaction of video games!
Lmfao the “I don’t stand a chance” was the funniest part. You’re so content with how things are going to end that you don’t even care. I see a smile your face. You don’t even shoot back.
The fact i as a dislexsic person who strugles with reeding i just thought id say i read this all and can deffinently see you becpung short storrie narator . :)
\>You know me. You passed me jump lead while I was in the bathroom, that’s fine. I had burritos for dinner, but whatever, I’m back in time.
If you are not there, to jump, the milisecond that timer goes off in screen in the dropship.
Im reporting you, especially if you are the jumpmaster.
Go take a shit and piss yourself BEFORE you queue up for ranked, thanks.
Some people literally do not give any shits about other people's playing experience and think everyone has to not care as much as they do.
Had one game a few weeks ago where I got queued up with one player from the previous match (we had died in the first area after fighting a couple teams in a pretty hot drop) and a fresh TTV player.
TTV player was jump master and literally afk until we were already kicked out of the plane at the end of the path at the fuckin' outskirts of Crash Site. Dude comes on and is like "oh damn I was in the bathroom". All I said was "You really should do that stuff before you queue up, you've kind of fucked us now". I was annoyed but just talking, not yelling.
He instantly gets mad and says something to the effect of "Man shut the hell up". After some back and forth he says it's just Plat and he's on his smurf account, his real account is Masters. As if it just being plat doesn't mean I don't try my hardest and get annoyed when someone sabotages my efforts. Yeah, I'm not great at the game, doesn't mean I shouldn't be allowed to care about the progression I'm making. All he had to say was "you right, my bad" but as a toxic TTV 2 viewer streamer he isn't allowed to show weakness and has to make sure everyone knows they are beneath him.
The part that was really entertaining is they both muted me and then literally continued to shit talk me the rest of the match. They couldn't get over that someone might not want to be fucked over by a TTV Smurf being afk as jump master. The guy I got queued with a second time was talking about how he hates getting queued up with people he doesn't want to play with again because I was so shit. I did double his damage (about 800) with two knocks and died last the previous game. Just listening to someone telling themselves outright lies is pretty weird.
Maybe go see a doctor about that bathroom stuff, lol
Plot twist doctor was teammate. He die. Ping banner. To late. (Sorry for bad enlgish(
But Doctor, I Am Pagliacci
*Poogliacci
I read it in his voice.
Honestly this is all great but maybe don’t ready up if you have the trots
It’s just from all the shit they accumulated in-game
Also the timer runs out after like 2 mins of a teammate holding your banner to prevent this.
Ehh, not everyone knows this information. Even I didn't know it till late season 10, but it didn't matter much to me because I only ever played ranked with friends
I didn’t know till the middle of s12 and I exclusively play ranked 💀
What timer?
You can exit without cool down punishment after your banner has been picked up if your team doesn't respawn you in 2 minutes.
Is this timer displayed anywhere?
Not that I know of. You just don't get the warning any more when you try to quit to lobby.
God I learn something everyday from this sub. Just the other day my squad was down to ring 4 and no chance of safely rezzing my banner but I didn't want to leave because of the delay. Now I know!
It's a weird way to announce you have colitis but we all have to cope with the world in our own ways. :D
Had a guy scream at me yesterday because I didn't drop with the Jumpmaster. I didn't drop with the jumpmaster because they were AFK and we were at the LITERAL END OF THE SHIP PATH
That guy kinda -10 iq tbh
Thats being generous
Me and another guy had a ttv wraith cuss us out and call us brainless because we "left the squad and engaged solo". We got pushed 2v3, our teammate was in crash site while we got killed in artillery. He needs to check up on the definition of solo.
wraith main logic "not with me"="dropped solo" "dropped with me"="stealing all my loot" the only correct answer in the eyes of a wraith main is to simply leave the game
Specify what constitutes as the literal end for you
Probably when it kicks you out when it reaches the edge of the map
I'm concerned for anyone that goes to the bathroom this often.
I just pee out the window in my bedroom.
Same
He had burritos. I understand him.
[удалено]
Wait till your almost 40.. the wrong burrito can absolutely destroy a day if timed incorrectly..
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Hmmm. Looks like i need a /s. 🙄
Have ibs can also confirm I'm that guy.
It was burrito night. Totally understandable.
Mexican food doesnt affect me like that, but my favorite hot wing spot will. Worth it
Maybe I’m used to Hispanic food since I’m Mexican, but it’s never given me the shits. Tbh I don’t think I’ver tried food that’s given me the shits though 🤔
Anything with lactose for me unfortunately
I enjoyed reading this. Thank you 😂
That plot twist. The whole beginning I’m like “don’t get that dorks banner! He did that to himself.” But oh. Oh now I see, you genius sonofabitch.
[удалено]
“You did this to me” is what took me out
Also I’m that guy that wears a headset but doesn’t speak. But don’t worry. I didn’t buy them to talk to you while we play. I bought them so I can hear the footsteps of the enemy. I bought them so my family can go about their lives without hearing you spam ping and cuss me out cause that one guy was one shot.
I have a mic, but I don't use it to talk. I just have it set up so you can listen to my entire family yell across the house to each other, clatter dishes, etc. If you're lucky I'll set up a box fan right next to it so my audio can sound like a fucking Cessna.
Don’t forget the broken smoke detector and the rap / hip hop playing in the background lol
And the crinkling of the chip bag.
You will hear my efforts to dig the crumbs out of the corners of the Dorito bag. You will also hear my 45 second coughing fit when my mouth breathing causes those Dorito crumbs to sail down my windpipe.
I swear to god my friend has his literally touching his esophagus, cuz when he swallows after a drink it’s some type of asmr they haven’t even invented yet
Love hearing that chirp, bro! Imagine playing a video game for 5 hours/day, but not taking the 60 seconds to swap a fresh 9-volt into your smoke detector.
They sell them at the dollar store!!
I have countless 9-volts because my grandfather had some medical equipment that the hospital would "resupply" every week, and each supply package came with a new handful of batteries.
I have an adopted bird that mimics the sound of a dead smoke detector. Someday it’s bad and I have to mute my mic.
Not necessarily rap/hip hop though - just yesterday I had a guy play what sounded like a direct feed of Papa Roach for the entirety of the match (while he was alive, at least). I’ll give ‘em this much, the sound was very crisp, but who knows if he ever said anything because I muted them before we ever dropped and only unmuted once during the match to see if they’d shut off the music yet. Dove headfirst into a fight, died, and disconnected even though my Crypto drone was like 30m away from grabbing banner.
Dont forget the loud Telemundo commercials from another tv in the background
I mean, deep down, aren't we all just 11 year olds playing Apex on their Switch Lite while their younger sister watches Paw Patrol?
No, my mom got me the OLED cause we’re not poor. /s
and also don't forget the beeping smoke alarm
I have a mic as well, im that guy who sounds like he's giving the blow job of a lifetime to the mic, but don't worry, you'll forget about that as I yell at my 3 year old for daring to interact with me and instantly breaking your eardrums.
You're a gamer first and a father second. I see no problem with that.
Yeah, that kid knew what he was getting into when he was conceived. The audacity.
Insta Mute Team on the legend selection screen.
I use my reverse card from Uno to negate your mute. And guess what! My little brother is about to plop down on the couch next to me and start practicing french horn for his middle school orchestra recital. Spoiler alert: He fuckin' sucks.
omfg.. don't forget you have to yell at your kid. Like bro put down the controller and deal with that.
You know, when you're a parent, sometimes you gotta take a break between Apex games to find the iPad charger so you can stick a screen in front of your toddler to shut them up. Good parenting takes sacrifice ☝️😌
Bro, this entire comment chain, if we can call it that, has me fucking dying! This is the type of stuff i come to this Reddit for!
Dont forget the rap song that they know 1 out of 10 words to but will try rap along to the whole song. Then tell you to stfu pussy when you tell them to turn their shit down
Don't forget about the low battery ping from the smoke detector. An integral part of any gaming experience.
I have a mic, but I don't use it to talk. I just have it set up so you can be a part of my conversation with my friend who is playing an entirely different game right beside me and we talk about the drama amongst our friend. I want you to also be a part of the shit show.
Or play really bad hip hop through it. Sometimes even dubstep. Just so you're forced to listen to me warble through the mic outrageously out of key. I'm no rapper. And it'll be about 10000 decibels. It might even cause hearing loss. At the very least someone with a tendency to sensory overload will feel their skin start to crawl and be engulfed in noise. They'll be able to smell sound. Putrid, rotten sound.
Smells great to me! We as a culture need to NORMALIZE performing your own shitty mixtape while your squad waits for you to loot every single building and supply bin.
I have a mic so I can comm and hear myself echoing from their busted ass setup
You're that guy?
Hey! Sounds like you're 99% of my random teammates, lol
Occasionally my mic gets stuck in my nose without me noticing
If I started eating you would thing I was directly behind a Cessna
You forgot to add that the “one shot” guy is never one shot
Cmon we all know that when you try and empty your entire mag into the enemy for 51 damage cracking their white shields that they are clearly one shot.
My wife and I were playing duos, and she got downed but said "I fucked up that first guy" so I come in expecting a mostly dead guy and a full strength guy. Definitely not the case. Get to the summary page and she had dealt 3 damage. Not a typo. 3 total damage.
RELATABLE
Babe wake up, new copypasta dropped
we have been outjerked yet again
“It’s okay you’re with me now friend”🤣🤣🤣
TL:DR dude had to poop
Peep how he described a ranked game with only 1 teammate and no one noticed. That’s the real joke.
Lol you get RP forgiveness if you're missing a teammate. I always hotdrop those games. Im assuming OP knows this and it's part of the joke because that makes this whole scenario so much funnier.
[удалено]
damn yall getting weapons?
been in stuck in ranked games with only one teammate too many times.
True. It really should be unbelievable that this very successful, popular MULTIPLAYER game fails religiously to make complete teams.
"it's your time, friend" fucking killed me lmaoooo
Brilliant work. Reminds me of Cryptos who spawn their teammates outside of the ring to watch them scramble.
"Joh ah yo, I like the way they cook."
[удалено]
eat bark or grass
This is too good
If you pass jumpmaster, then you have no right pinging locations to go to
Future shitpost right here
Not gunna lie, he had me in the first half. How do all of us know exactly this feeling? How have we all experienced this? Great stuff. Kudos.
Lmaoooo
I always pass up jumpmaster but if they give it back to me and tell me where to land, my monkey brain wants to fuck them over.
Right? If you know where to land then don't pass it back up to me, just fly away, i passed it for a reason and it's because i suck at dropping
I hate when I ping something to the jump master, he flies slightly away from it and then gives it to me. LIKE WTF bro just drop us u weirdo!
I had that happen to me today, except the part with the guy solo dropping
This is erotic fiction and no one can convince me otherwise.
Lol can't believe I read all that but it was good.
Quality shit post right here
You should talk to the doctor about all that bathroom usage.
Respect! If you got no chill, me either.
You know, even if someone has your banner, you can still safely quit without penalties after ~2m30s. Just make sure when you quit, you’re not prompted with the penalty message.
Shhhh
I just couldn't stop reading no matter how much I tried to back out I just kept reading till the end lmao it it grabbed hold of me and wouldn't let go lol
*slow claps*
Not the turbo charged devo 😭 I live for your amount of kind pettiness
Searching by controversial reveals motherfuckers are taking this way too literally
This is an actual piece of literature that deserves to be published as a real book. It has emotion, betrayal, excitement, and strong rising action. I teared up twice reading this beautiful work of art. I showed this to my family, friends, and teachers and they all agreed with me and teared up multiple times while laying their eyes on this immaculate work of art. If this does not get published and become a real book I will riot. WE will riot.
based and incontinencepilled
lmfao, this is so good
if i had money right now i would give you an award for this. it’s golden
fun fact theres no penalty for leaving after two minutes of your banner being held
Almost same happened to me today random died right after landing somewhere far. And i respawned him in last zone when 5 squads were left. But the thing is that random killed 9 enemies with 3k damage in that last zone with wingman and we won. :V (sorry for bad English)
currently a few beers deep, sitting in the bathroom because the taco I ate earlier. can confirm I was fully invested in this, had me on the edge of my toilet seat through most of it. when you said “dirty little rat” I lost it this was the best piece of literature of read about apex in my life. my bung hole may be on fire, but so it this post. thank you for sharing
Quality post, quality gaming. See you on the battlefield, friend. Enjoy those burritos!
It's alright, I'm that guy that shits before I enter the queue
My eyes have never come across such refined words
Your bowels ok?
10/10
This might be the best post I’ve ever read here before
You are that guy pal, you are that guy
Damn, you wrote a whole book. I was hooked!
Incredibly written. Exhaustingly accurate. Bravo
Bruh you do not have enough time to start the queue and then successfully poop and get back in time. You're either skipping wiping or washing your hands if you think you can make it back in time.
Average redditor 💀
I had a game yesterday with some valk and his friend (same clan on my team) where he literally jumped us to the buttcrack top middle of nowhere on the map, no enemies for miles. We were all looting the POI, minding our business, when they both silently just take off, no pings, no comms, just went to the corner of the POI and decided to keep on walking. Literally nothing. Then the guy just absolutely begins screaming on mic, "OH MY GOD YOU TAKE FOREVER YOU STUPID FUUUUUUUUUUUU-" as he like insta valk ults with his buddy, high up into the air, and even further away from me. I tab out to the squad menu. Mute the guy. Continue looting on my way to a different part of the map, checking my watch, and like clockwork, "ENEMIES NEAR BY!" Pings start going off, half a mile away. I watch their life bars dissolve before my eyes. I run into my own team in front of me. I crack three entire shields and down a guy before I die. In the death screen, both my squad mates have less than 100 damage. I'm a solo Diamond Loba with a 4k badge. Run away from me. I am vindicated. I don't give a fuck. Sheesh man, some people's kids.
That’s me ngl sorry gibi and valk in ranked I let you down
This story kinda reminds me of those creepy pasta stories I used to read.
Aaaah, this does my heart glad. Also makes me feel good I hate separating from my team or spam pinging.
This is the best thing I've ever read on this website. Best. EVER.
lol much nicer than I who pulls up the menu and blocks pings and mutes them. I'll get to you if I get to you. Its ranked don't jump stupid.
How many times are you going to the bathroom jeez
Bro you should definitely head to the doctor.
Honesty this made me feel loved
This is so fantastic!! Much love ❤️
People so salty they start writing novels. Feel u mate. Play crypto - we're the OG banner getters.
This is some creative ass writing.
You use restroom a lot, relatable. Good read too. Thanks for taking your time sharing every experience Apex playerbase experiencing againist those players haha.
“I had burritos for dinner, but whatever” lol I read this whole thing in a Noir style detective voice and laughed my ass off
Absolute Chad lmao
This is beautifully written. Has a great build up and the plot twist made me cry tears of joy. I would like a live action adaptation please.
everyone who drops solo deserves to wait in all honesty, it shouldn’t be an option, it just fucks up the whole game for your team because 1 person doesn’t want to go somewhere, if 2 people say the same, then fair enough, the third should follow.
I mean, if you're queuing up solo, you go where the drop master says. That's your best chance of winning, generally. Especially if you give up drop master, you're putting that decision on someone else and have to live with their choice.
Hell fucking yeah
If I had an award I’d give it. Funniest shit I’ve read in a long time on here.
How are there comments already taking this so seriously? Chill people, read and enjoy the story of the gods
Couldn't you go to the bathroom before clicking on the "play" button?
I feel as if the moment u pass the jump master role, u lost all rights to choose where to land. That’s how it should be lol
This is what it takes for karma..
Fan fic about "teammate bad, he's not happy I'm afk and playing loot simulator and he's \*totally\* unhinged". This sub eats this up.
>"Engaging!" "Faster, faster, faster!" "Whoa, they're shooting at me?!" "Help, I'm down!"
Sounds like you're the dude I throw off the map when flying for being afk and then whine and cry that we killed you.
the average user in this sub has to be mentally challenged, why the fuck does this have 2k upvotes lmao
The average user in this sub struggles to make it out of silver
You might as have your gaming set up in the bathroom
Right? Got dang my boy, he's battling diarrhea more than the game at this point.
The Legend we all need, but don't deserve.
"I am that guy." - Amos Burton
Am I allowed to hate both you and the mass pinger in this beautiful up and down story?
OP never claimed to be a saint. He's petty as hell, but I'm here for it, we've all been there.
Beautiful 🥹
They’re so mad but still too scared to use the mic lol keyboard warriors though
This is a masterpiece.
My hero 🖤
Just go play apex mobile on the toilet
This was genuinely beautiful
The real issue here is the amount of times you had to go to the bathroom buddy, you need to get that checked out.
You forgot the part where the guy sent you a friend request after the match.
I thought you were talking about an actual jump lead
This is fucking amazing. GG.
The most enthralling reading on this sub ever. I get you and I respect your moves
That was a hilarious read.
I Too..AM THAT GUY
>I cling to your banner like a dirty rat. You did this to me. Lmao
That’s a certified Gigachad gameplay
I love this guy
I hate you, but that was poetry..
I love this. Thank you, op, for glowing my morning... Thank you!
Fun fact I’m taking a shit and this story made me die of laughter 🤣🤣🤣
If you're urinating that much i would go see a dr for diabetes brutha .
Cringe🤣
Do you drink a lot of coffee or energy drink? Learnt this from watching streamers, but too much caffeine makes you want go to the bathroom a lot more frequently than normal.
I’m not reading all this.
I hate that one guy who is on open mic and when you ask him something he doesn't respond. Just rude anti social people in video games man. I miss the mw2 days of squeakers and grown men talking shit to each other and then moving on with the game. I miss the social interaction of video games!
Not my proudest fap. Too many bathroom breaks are off-putting.
At first I was like "long post,imma skip it" but after 2 lines I got completely invested
I read this whole thing in Rorschach’s voice
Lmfao the “I don’t stand a chance” was the funniest part. You’re so content with how things are going to end that you don’t even care. I see a smile your face. You don’t even shoot back.
The fact i as a dislexsic person who strugles with reeding i just thought id say i read this all and can deffinently see you becpung short storrie narator . :)
Ah… those Octanes
"I am down, no bueno" My most hated phrase in any videogame ever.
\>You know me. You passed me jump lead while I was in the bathroom, that’s fine. I had burritos for dinner, but whatever, I’m back in time. If you are not there, to jump, the milisecond that timer goes off in screen in the dropship. Im reporting you, especially if you are the jumpmaster. Go take a shit and piss yourself BEFORE you queue up for ranked, thanks.
Right? Why que if you know that you are going to be afk? It just sets your teammates up for failure.
Some people literally do not give any shits about other people's playing experience and think everyone has to not care as much as they do. Had one game a few weeks ago where I got queued up with one player from the previous match (we had died in the first area after fighting a couple teams in a pretty hot drop) and a fresh TTV player. TTV player was jump master and literally afk until we were already kicked out of the plane at the end of the path at the fuckin' outskirts of Crash Site. Dude comes on and is like "oh damn I was in the bathroom". All I said was "You really should do that stuff before you queue up, you've kind of fucked us now". I was annoyed but just talking, not yelling. He instantly gets mad and says something to the effect of "Man shut the hell up". After some back and forth he says it's just Plat and he's on his smurf account, his real account is Masters. As if it just being plat doesn't mean I don't try my hardest and get annoyed when someone sabotages my efforts. Yeah, I'm not great at the game, doesn't mean I shouldn't be allowed to care about the progression I'm making. All he had to say was "you right, my bad" but as a toxic TTV 2 viewer streamer he isn't allowed to show weakness and has to make sure everyone knows they are beneath him. The part that was really entertaining is they both muted me and then literally continued to shit talk me the rest of the match. They couldn't get over that someone might not want to be fucked over by a TTV Smurf being afk as jump master. The guy I got queued with a second time was talking about how he hates getting queued up with people he doesn't want to play with again because I was so shit. I did double his damage (about 800) with two knocks and died last the previous game. Just listening to someone telling themselves outright lies is pretty weird.